#i want ppl to have fun
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i wanna make an oc to ship with spring n alex but I'm worried about the cringe. is this too many layers of cringe? how deep does the cringe rabbithole go???
the answer is never, absolutely go for it lol you got my full support in putting an oc/ect in the middle of those two like an ice cream sandwich. they got two hands
#au questions#i want ppl to have fun#they're bi and in an open relationship. ppl should be allowed to have fun
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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apple season
#my art#tloz#a link to the past#someone close to my school has a rly big apple tree they invite ppl to come in and pick from and I'm already making grabby hands#link#zelda#I was trying to work on my consistency in terms of designs and stuff way back when but like I can't see those csp files rn so rip#they get to have new outfits that's just whatever I thought was fun to draw at the moment thumbs up emoji#I have not actually read the manga but I am taking the orchard I want it too#with a couple way big trees it's what happens when ur out travelling I guess idk idk I'm a cringe city person#Blabbering in tags is So back
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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Sobriety crew gets no mercy from drunk shenanigans
#an art#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa the#danganronpa#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#akane owari#nekomaru nidai#Aoi asahina#chihiro fujisaki#mikan tsumiki#Idk I guess I wanted to draw characters being physical. And drunk#And just have fun colouring#Nidai doesn't drink but loves parties anyway and takes the ppl who go overboard home#And then wakes them up at 8 the next day to get some NUTRITION AND ELECTROLYTES AND TO SWEAT OUT THE BOOZE#Akane only drinks super occasionally (fx when it's free or really elaborate like giant fruit cocktails) or when someone challenges her#But she always comes pick up her drunk friends (lightweight Aoi hehe). Starts a fight occasionally....#Girls are allowed to crash at her place anytime. But she wakes up at 5 and you will wake up too#Fuyuhiko doesn't drink but has to do a lot of businesses at bars which he sometimes owns some part in#So he's in the party scene a lot anyway. He takes security seriously and would rather call you a cab than let you leave on stumbly legs#Mikan doesn't know how to say no and gets swept up in drunk people being...not mean to her#Chihiro does not drink often (because it usually ends like this)#Aoi is just a lightweight and gets sick easily#I really wanted to draw Chihiro with a 70s blowout cut but I think it didn't come through lol#Not tagging ships you can make your own meaning I'm tired and I gotta wrap presents. Which i hate doing wish me well
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
#that “you understand?” kills me everytime...#i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg#hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀#i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀#happy valentines too ig#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jay ferin#jrwi fish and chips#my art#i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm#sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah#it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu#-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night#and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my#brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls.....#my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.
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dungeon lord marcille ft. timelapse
#marcille#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#my art#thought it would be fun to upload a process vid teehee#love the 0.2 seconds where i tried the pink color scheme & then immediately abandoned it#i still =kind of like it but i think id need to lean harder into the orange rim light#and i really wanted to keep her bloodstained feet bc thts why i drew this. TBH!@!! i love that aspect of her design so much#and her cowl.^__^ <3 sooo cute. I CANT BELIEVE PPL IN UNIVERSE THINK ITS UGLY AND WEIRD .??? DIEEE#also srries for starting the recording late . i dont have it auto checked bc of storage n i always FORGET!!!!!!#until its too l;ate but whtevers i actually kind oif remembered this time
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more nephews and niece content bc it makes me happy
#digital art#fanart#art#resident evil#carlos oliveira#resident evil 3 remake#prob the last but I’m glad to have drawn lighthearted fun stuff#need to see this man happy#I wanted to draw some of his brothers but brain can’t come up with unique designs#just want him to be happy with his siblings#for now he gotta stay happy w these rascals I made up in my head#ppl adding their own hc’s and thoughts was so inspiring so I made these doodles LOL#as a kid I scared the adults with facts and bugs without realising it and didn’t understand why they didn’t like me#but ik carlitos would try be supportive of everyone’s interests
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Neopets is so funny right now. It's a 24-year-old website and half its pages haven't been updated in 15 years. Its ostensible audience is children. The core active audience appears to be nostalgic 20-40-year-olds. Old code means no accounts or pets can ever be renamed. The virtual pound is full of virtual pets named after Justin Bieber. It has an economy and inflation is rampant. New ownership is combating this with the stimulus of random super-rare items via daily quests and events, while the equivalent of Neopian Upper-Crust complain that their investments are deflating. You can't say seaweed or grapes.
#I'm having so much fun#Neopets#anyway hey if you used to play it's still around and apparently the first new plot in years will happen spring/summer of next year#I mean it's really weird because it's still got rules like it's 2004#I have no idea how you would introduce it to an actual child but the adults seem to be mostly having fun#recent events have been making it SUPER easy for ppl to get paint jobs they want & expensive items to sell & things to collect so it's fun
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Made designs for Megatron, Shockwave, and Soundwave :)
#transformers#maccadam#megatron#shockwave#soundwave#my art#just for fun. I do have a little bit of lore for them though#I didn't feel like drawing their alt modes oops. but Megatron's a tank#Shockwave's a massive scifi gun... turret... thing#And Soundwave's a CD player. I also want to note that he's human-sized (so very tiny for a Transformer)#I like Transformers' whole thing of playing w the characters like dolls. Making entirely new stories for them in every continuity#It's neat! And seems to inspire a lot of ppl to make fan-continuities (including myself now I guess xD) which are also cool to see
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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Equally Invalid
#trafficshipping#smallidarity#<- shipping rlly isn't the main main focus here but it ends on the kiss so I'm scared to tag anything else lol#cw blood#my art#animatic#it's more like. visuals for character analysis thoughts. because this is way more fun for all of us than writing it all out as an essay#I don't expect you guys to. Get it btw or at least not all of it alot of this is very self indulgent and jumps around the timeline#it's like 99% just for me but still. I hope the smallidarity enjoyers of the world can get smth out of it at least lol#very very very happy for ppl to ask abt specific scenes if ur interested ofc#I prefer not to spell out what things mean cus like. It's more fun for me thinking of ppl applying their own thoughts onto my stuff.#but if you ask I will yap forever god bless#if you want you can play a game of spot the jojo reference. and spot the utena reference#ANYWAY YEAH WOO scott and joel content yes yes yes woo!!!!#do they have a duo name like. at all. is that a thing#happy pride everyone
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everyone seems to really like my squip so i drew a lil more
#🐟 my art#be more chill#bmc musical#bmc squip#bmc jeremy#the squip#jeremy heere#hes so. Freak ❤️#i wanted to give him a cool glittery outfit but still liked the simplified 2d style for him#so i figured this was the best compromise#hes Very fun to draw#the way i drew him in earlier posts i imagine are more like his simplest form when he exists as like a shadow to jeremy#he doesnt have as much power and influence on him just yet#and he gets more of a distinct form as he manipulates him and more and more ppl get squipped
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Ok but hear me out.
Give me a Shen Yuan that was sick in his original body, ye? Nothing too special, I know, but please stay with me on this one-
Make him transmigrate, like he does die, he does get transported into the other world, but it's not as SQQ/SJ.
He has his own original body, maybe he looks a bit more like a xianxia character to fit in, maybe he looks drop dead gorgeous, sure!
But he's still sick
His sickness is still with him, and it's getting worse
Like, SY is actively slowly but surely dying, while maybe he befriends TLJ, SXY and ZZL (if he transmigrates pre-canon) and the three are trying to help him.
Maybe he meets a child SJ and takes him with him, so the poor child watches the only person that cares for him, actively dying.
Maybe he somehow becomes a beloved friend, peak lord or anything that makes the Cang Qiong sect adore him, and therefore be willing to find any cure for him.
Heck, maybe he's a powerful yet sickly and fragile demon!
Maybe he's even apart of the northern realm with MBJ, idk!
But the one thing stays the same.
Sy is dying.
Maybe it's not noticeable at first, like you'd take one look at him and sure, maybe he a looks a bit more tired, a bit paler, maybe even a bit thinner than what's considered healthy. Maybe he let's out a caugh here and there, some completely normal things.
But then there are those small (sometimes rather big) fits where his illness acts up.
Ones where he curls up on the ground, gritting his teeth in exctruciating pain as he coughs out blood, maybe he faints, maybe he has any other symptoms.
And then it gets worse, his health escalates, maybe he can't walk anymore as he's slowly losing his motor functions, maybe he's getting much weaker, his breathing worse as he feels like he's suffocating. Heck, give him any curse marks and stuff too, while you're at it, maybe even without-a-cure!
Point being, SY is dying, and there is no cure.
His death is fated to happen, while he's just waiting and wasting away, he's not that upset either (maybe a little bit).
Give me an au where SY is the mentor, the parental figure of all the sect leaders and demons, give me an au where SY is such a sweet and kind hearted person, one who still loves beasts and demons and everyone, yet is also slowly but surely being poisoned by the very air he's breathing, his body shutting down and wasting away as he's waiting for death, while everyone weeps.
Everyone is trying find a cure, maybe make one too, yet it's all in vain.
SY dies, he no longer has to endure the suffering of his pains, his illnesses, and while he passes away, he leaves behind many mourning a precious and beautiful soul.
#i kinda just want ppl to suffer ngl#kinda why I thought about this#also because I just really want a sick SY au where he's loved but also actively dying#still a very fun au tho :D#no ships tho#sy can have a system too#tho that's debatable#I just want angst and ppl to suffer with me#i want ppl to cry and be in pain as well lol <3#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#scumbag self saving system#shen jiu#svsss#mxtx svsss#svsss au
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