#how can this be real

[honeycombhank]

3/25/24

I feel like I was this close to losing Tobias tonight..

I feel an immense amount of guilt.

I have kept mama Moony’s three girls from choking by feeding them a completely different diet then I normally would and I’m looking into making my own food, but my other girls and the boys have been eating the good old Ox bow kibbles.

I didn’t think that the problem was the brand of food I was getting, because it was only certain rats that were choking and not all of them. Idk it’s hard to explain in detail.

Tonight I ran out of food and realizing I had some other food that had been left over and was still in the airtight container I figured I would give that to them because Moony’s three daughters had previously choked on it but no one else did so I thought it was still fine for my other rats.. well I was wrong.

Tobias july choked on that same kibble tonight!

As soon as I saw I took all of it out of every cage I had put it in and returned to Tobias to see how I might be able to help him, it was absolutely horrific.. at first he was choking like my other rats were so my plan was to sit next to him and talk kindly and keep calm and watch him as he went through this, but then everything changed and I’m telling you I thought he was going to choke to death in my hands tonight, he was pale and there was stuff coming out of his nose and he started to tint purple, I attempted to help him an hoped that gravity would be on my side. This entire situation was horrendous and so incredibly scary. My love and I felt helpless, I could not see the object in his mouth and he wasn’t drooling the way my other rats have when they have choked and the amount of energy he was using to try and dislodge this food was scary, it felt like a last effort level of energy, then he was limp and he pooped and he was pale and I was crying and hoping I could help him.

I didn’t give up and after a lot of hard work I managed to help him.

As I held him in my hands upside down and forcefully patting his back, he started to chew and it became clear he had the ability to breathe a bit better again, his ears gained a bit of pink and he looked at me, he looked right at me and walked right up to my face and licked me and got as close to my face as he could, my love was standing next to me and said, “you just saved his life” it was a surreal moment, my rat and I had an understanding of how scary that truly was for both of us.

He is in a small cage with water and fresh blankets.

I am asking you all, if you could thank the universe for letting him live on to experience more of this beautiful world and if you could just think some really good thoughts for my boy Tobias July.

I am so thankful, as I cry laying in bed. I Am so thankful he is still with us.

Omg.

And I am throwing that food out and getting new food tomorrow. I am also going to start researching how I can make my own food and what that would take.

I am truly taken back by how many times my rats have choked just in one year.. I have never even heard of this happening to someone, even having one rat choke is crazy but having to go through multiple choking and for them to go through that!? It’s terrifying and there has to be a way to keep them healthy and safe.

😭 my sweet boy

[fentanyl-rabbits]

Always in despair, ashamed, fucked up in general, I want to scream I just want to scream, i can't do this anymore but then I look at my spouse and I know I have no other choice but surviving these terrifying times because there will be better times because we are together for the rest of our lives. This is the real pain of love. Never giving up, always surviving for the most beautiful thing I have. The reason that matters most.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[domesticated-feral]

tfw your fan explodes twice..

[honokepi]

I can't believe people are getting away saying they “only put it in the fridge, not the freezer” apparently unaware of the fact IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE ??💀💀

VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RB FOR BIGGER SAMPLE PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW

[halosluvchild]

.

[littlemizzlinguistics]

Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[hinamie]

oversaturate

[chloesimaginationthings]

I can’t wait to see mangle in the FNAF 2 movie,,

[lunarwednesday]

Kindly Miquella... I see you've thrown away... Something you should not have... Under any circumstances.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[isjasz]

[Day 365 | Ref to Day 1]

And that's a wrap 🪻🥀

===

fhksjdkwjw ITS OVER. ITS OVERRRRR I MADE ITTTTT

Screaming and losing it. It only started to feel real as I'm posting this rn HRKSJAKSJLELH. A year... 365 pieces (probably a bit less bc I did post wips?) of desert duo... I would make a collage maybe but its prob a lot of work HJASKDHAHEHW

🫵 @vesperionnox @cherrysherin without u guys I wouldn't have been here <3 This challenge kinda became its own thing at some point, but I didn't forget where I started :D

💥💥💥 AAA I hope you guys enjoyed this challenge as much as I did!! but also WOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREEDOM. I WILL DEF STILL BE DRAWING DESERTDUO THO LOL BUT LETS FREAKING GO ONE YEARRRR

[beif0ngs]

Hobie being Miles' #1 supporter, hype man & homie 👊🏿

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet