#house to myself for the next few weeks

[angelsonthesideline]

When I actually have the time to cook..

[megumi-fm]

.

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[phagodyke]

they need to make a killing myself I can do every weekend but only on the weekends so I can get up fine on monday and go to work again

[thebirdandhersong]

hey will be off tumblr for the rest of the week - things are Happening again and my head feels ready to explode.........would really appreciate prayer again. I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the brink of something (I don't KNOW what) terrible and I need to figure things out without before my body really DOES decide to shut down from the stress and the strange depressive dread that has been very difficult to shake this month. I would like to not feel like crying or throwing up at certain points in the day and also would like to not be so exhausted in the heart and mind area so that I can actually deal with these things. Especially since finals are looming ahead

[indiegame]

body let me sleep pls

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

had quite the night drive earlier this evening.

[radgeorgie]

had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[millionsknives]

whenever i have absolutely nothing going on and don’t need to be anywhere or do anything, everyone around me is perfectly healthy but when i have huge things that i absolutely cannot afford to miss then half my family gets sick at once with different diseases

[bugfeelings]

[actualmichelle]

.

[milkyplier]

greetings and salutations and hi and hello and *hugs you*

you’re a beautiful and wonderful soul and we love seeing you around here and you have a great sense of humor and *shakes you* I will filter out the blues from your wonderful head by means of centrifugal force *throws you in a blender /aff*

*hugs you back*

Jehehtnbensnfnnsbasjnffnnwnss thank you anon <3

You’re so sweet, the blues are definitely leeching away 🫂🥰

[lavender---sunshine]

in all seriousness i 90% sure im going to quit my job tomorrow and for a while i will have just enough money to live on and will have to spruce up my resume and job hunt and stress but MY GOD i need to do something else because this is making me suicidal

[queenerdloser]

i'm just realizing that starting tomorrow i will literally be busy every day until like. december 25. what is up with that. how did i bamboozle myself into having Things Going On for like a week and a half.

[scare-ard--sleigh]

me white-knuckling the kitchen sink: i won't say anything i wouldn't want repeated in a running report, not everything that makes me tick needs to be commented on, may g,d or whoever grant me the serenity to ignore stupid stupid stupid human beings, etc., etc, etc.

[aesethewitch]

When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.

Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.

So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.

Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.

One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.

It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."

The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.

Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.

It missed my lilac by inches.

The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.

I think next year, I'll see flowers.