#house pest free

[totalpestcontrol]

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[thehallstara]

i just like. wish ppl would realize how bad things are for most diaspora jews atm and like. take that into account wrt how they talk abt stuff

[fazcinatingblog]

Imagine being a lovely innocent Carlton fan and having a nice peaceful time at the footy and you turn to one side and three seats down, there's the most annoying Italian talking to herself about Alex Fasolo and

[squid-ichorous]

hey if u go into someone's living space and u think they should do a better job w/ cleaning you don't have to tell them i prommy we already know

[tripably]

Yesterday I reorganized my house plants in a way that made me really happy

Like I'm So Proud

But also So Disappointed because it's not like literally anyone will ever notice :-D I had to physically drag my partner around our living room and dining area to quiz him about what used to be where and where is it now and what has changed pots and why these changes have been excellent etc. He did good but it's like with all compliments - it doesn't quite feel the same if you have to ask for it.

So let me give you* a litte tour because I really want to talk about this some more 🥰

Now here we have most of my Pothos collection. The pale one on the far right, 'Lemon Lime' or something, used to be next to our tv and most probably didn't get enough light there, but definitely was always in the way when doing laundry. I don't have the energy to explain it in detail but we need to hang our washed clothes to dry next to our tv and though the pothos looked really pretty there it was unpractical as all hell. It's also not at the prettiest health of its life but I mean it was only just moved here, so it's not really set yet. Anyway I love that it has darker green at the edges of some leaves but is mostly a neon colour. Really pretty 🥰

The one in the middle is not doing well. It never has. I'd like to say that I don't know why but I've been neglecting it its whole life so that's probably why :-D I think it's an Epipremnum pinnatum so not a golden pothos but it's in the same family and I think of it as one anyway. It keep growing leggy stems with no leaves, and I keep cutting them off. Once I've got back to watering it appropriately, and if it still keeps doing that, I'll have to figure out the real root cause. For now, I'll try to just give it more love.

The one on top right is really pretty on the other side but I'd like it to be pretty on all sides so it was high time to turn it around to encourage more balanced growth. I'm pretty sure it's a 'Pearls and Jade'. It's a really good girl.

The one on bottom left is, to the best of my knowledge, a 'Manjula'. It's doing surprisingly well considering it also has been neglected nearly all of it's life. Perhaps I gave it good enough care in the beginning, or perhaps it has developed Stockholm syndrome. Good for him, I guess. Yes it's s he. No, I couldn't say why.

This one is a sweetheart, a 'Marble Queen'. It used to be next to my pc and got neglected severely in a really bright spot, so it lost nearly all of its leaves near the bottom of the pot. As of yesterday, it is now the first and only pothos I have that is encouraged to grow the way all vines are supposed to - upwards along a "tree trunk". We'll see what happens. She's a beauty on a good day. Don't tell the others but it's a bit of a favourite. I hope I handled it with enough care and didn't damage it when wrapping around the pole. I want to take cuttings of it to make sure it survives but I also don't want to do too much at once, so I'll have to do my best to stay patient and hopeful.

These are a bit of an odd bunch. The emerald palm (also known as zz plant) is one of my biggest successes in the sense that it can barely fit anywhere because it just keeps on growing. It's so pretty. I love it.

The cathedral cactus was a gift from an ex-colleague of mine as a cutting, and is prized for that reason specifically. I'm not the biggest fan of where it is right now, but the emerald palm is making my life difficult and my house just isn't big enough. Anyway, I love the purplish hue on the plant <3

Then in the corner we have my experimental greenhouse/closed environment. On top of the jar we have a common orchid, the substrate of which is made of bark and some green moss from my backyard. Inside the jar we have some more moss from my backyard, and the plant in there is a silver vine. It is thriving!! The orchid "bowl" on top is a new addition though, we'll see what happens from now on. The bottom of the bowl has holes so i'm thinking that while the silver vine transpires moisture through its leaves, it will help the orchid to have just enough water in the substrate to keep growing and staying alive without the risk of overwatering. But that the bowl and the orchid still work as a kind of a lid, meaning that most of the water will stay in the system, keeping humidity high and the silver vine thriving. And then every once in a while I'll need to add more water into the system, and I can do it just by watering the orchid from on top. As said, we'll see what happens. Side note: this is the longest-surviving orchid I've ever had; usually they flower for a while and then slowly start dying on me due to a mix of overwatering and neglect. This one has been in my care for months and is still alive. A modern day miracle, really.

Now this dracaena I got as a stem cutting at school in like 2019 or something. It used to be where the 'Marble Queen' is now, but it had definitely outgrown the spot. It's an easy one to keep alive.

Behind it we have two more pothos. The first one, I think, is another 'Pearls and Jade', so severely neglected that it probably won't survive. I honestly completely forgot about it, as it was buried behind a pile of books on my pc table. Next to it we have a plain but beautiful 'Jade'. I got a cutting of it from my grandma in like 2017. It's been with me through quite a few periods of neglect and pests and general shit, surviving mostly because I've had the foresight to take cuttings in time 😅 It is my most prized house plant and more important than many of my other possessions. All my friends have received potted cuttings of it as housewarming gifts, so I should be fairly safe in terms of keeping it alive one way or another. Decentralized investment or some shit.

Now here we have five saint paulias, all with pink flowers. They are at the moment doing their best to recover from anthropogenic drought. They're used to it, and I think they flower almost all the time as a result of it. Flowering, after all, is often induced by the plant realizing its own mortality and jumping at the last chance to produce heirs. I got them from my mom a couple of years ago when she and my stepdad sold my childhood home and didn't have space for them at the new place. According to her, some of them are as old as me. I used to neglect the poor bastards already back when I lived home and was occasionally in charge of caring for them.

The money tree at the far end of the window sill is leggy and unstable and ridiculous and precious. <3

Here we have some more saint paulias, plus some placeholder pots for future saint paulias. These are also from my mom. I'm really happy with this area in our home right now, with the spices and dried chilis and dried mushrooms at the back and the blue-flowering fuzzy leaved beauties in front.

This here is my cuttings station. It would be a perfect place for so many plants if it weren't for the dining table that's way too close to it. We might have bought a table that's a smidge too big for the space 😅 so far I'm the only person who's ever knocked a pot down from that windowsill, but I'm not willing to have guests live through that experience at my house. So, only cuttings it is. This is also the place where problems are created and purposefully ignored. You'll see.

Off to the right of middle of the picture we have some more saint paulias forming roots so that they can be repotted. They'd grown so uncentered that I decided to just cut them out, remove some of the lowest leaves, and stick them in water. It's going extremely well; the first one was cut a few months back and would be ready for potting any day, I just need to defrost my potting soil first. The second one was cut yesterday. There's also one more saint paulia hiding, already in a pot (the white one) that I got as a leaf cutting from my partner's grandma. It has very pretty, multicolored leaves and cute pink flowers, and it's not doing well. I'm trying to first aid it into a bit of a better health before repotting it, and I haven't really thought much further than that.

There's also a bunch of pothos cuttings that I don't know what to do with - I should probably give them to someone as it's clear I don't have any room for new pots. But it's winter so I can't send them by post, and my local friends already have what they want from here. And, I always keep safety cuttings on hand in case my neglect kills one of them. At the moment, I only have the classic golden pothos as a cutting - the one furthest to right. I'll need to figure out a place for a pot once the cuttings have rooted. In the future.

At the other end we got some more money trees. One of them is an accidental cutting from the leggy one on the other windowsill. The other one is a cutting from Spain back when international travel with undocumented plants wasn't illegal within EU. I hope they don't start growing any faster, because I don't know where to fit them next.

Also, and it's not very visible in this picture, I've decided to give propagating an avocado yet another go. I don't know where to put it if it succeeds, other than in a bottom-watering pot with a tank. Let's not make that into a problem right now.

This here is another 'Pearls and Jade', I think. It's also very pretty, which is why I'm keeping both. This one's been here forever and I've tried to have it grow in a balanced way, but yesterday I decided to be done with that and embraced the one-sidedness. So I stuck in that beautiful, curly branch and some sticks to keep it upright, and we'll see where we go from here. I was told yesterday that we have a ps5 coming soon and that it might have to be placed on this very spot. I'm preparing notes for the negotiations.

And finally, the saddest little silver vine ever to live. I should have taken before-and-after pics yesterday before I cleaned it up, it was so incredibly ridiculous. Most of the vines were dead or dying, crumbling and saggy leaves everwhere, half of the branches dead st near the substrate. Now it's just small. This is the spot where the lemon lime pothos used to be btw; this dwarf of a vine should not become a problem during laundry time any time soon 😅 and I really love this pot, specifically here. I'm not expecting the plant to survive but of course I'm hoping <3

Ok thank you listening <3 If anyone actually did read through all of it, please let me know which plant or placement or picture or detail is your favourite <3 Mine is the half-broken wall clock in picture 6 👀 It's only half broken because it actually tells the time correctly if you just ignore the numbers and concentrate on the direction of the hands - like, clearly the picture was taken at 8:30 😁

[lamby-grahamy]

The family of foxes that has their kits under our shed yearly is here!! Spring has officially begun!! The kits have opened their eyes and yesterday was their first outing as far as I can tell. They are so WIGGLY. They’re climbing (and falling) all over each other and all over the place. If I could get good photos for you guys, I would. Unfortunately, my phone can only take pics of them that are the same quality as sightings of Bigfoot.

[zooophagous]

I'm gonna be contrarian here for a minute and rant about "cats aren't even good pest control."

Which, one study that found cats don't do well against rats is not the be all end all of reality. A cat may not go after Norway rats, which are large and aggressive, no. An adult male wild Norway rat is large enough to give almost any cat a run for its money.

But Norway rats aren't the only thing that exist and get into houses and barns. It is very cold where I live, and while I see mice and packrats and voles, I have never once seen a wild RAT. Wild RATS don't get into my garage. Deer mice do. Bushy tailed pack rats do.

And you know what fixed it?

My cat. He's not even an outdoor cat. He's 100% indoors, or in the garage but only with the door closed so he can't leave.

He single handedly removed my packrat problem. I didn't need to resort to poisons and while I did set traps, none of them had even half of his success rate. Cats were domesticated primarily because of how good they are at catching small rodents. Their success knocked other animals such as trained ferrets off the popular spot for the task. Claiming a cat is useless as pest control is just plain not true.

Cats are decent pest control WITHIN CERTAIN PARAMETERS. They're good for certain types of small pest, and cats need ro be CONTAINED. Much like poisons, you can't just throw cats around willy nilly because they'll kill a shitload of non target animals.

A barn or shop cat is a good option for long term mouse control *if* it is actually confined to that barn or shop and not free to just leave. A semi feral cat that lives in a large warehouse and is vaccinated and desexed and vetted and kills whatever tiny pests get in to chew on stuff is the best case scenario for an adopted feral.

What I do NOT get however, is the insistence that terriers are better and you should just get one of those.

A dog is not an easy animal to keep and nor is it one you should go purchase because you want long term pest control in your barn. If you want a pest control solution call an externinator. If you want a dog that's intelligent and driven and needs dedicated training and care and you're happy to put in the energy to actually focus its chaotic energy into something useful then go get a ratting terrier.

These little dogs do not fill the same niche as a barn cat and their care is quite a bit more intense in general especially if the dog is going to be a house pet as well as a worker. They're intense and destructive and can and will pick fights, often fatal fights, with other animals. Stop telling people to go get one when all they need is to get some squirrels out of a shed. Buying a dog and buying pest control are not the same thing.

You could *hire* a ratter to do a sweep, but unless you're also removing the conditions that made your property popular with rats to begin with you're going to have to keep bringing them back.

The kind of people who leave feral cats outside to roam and breed freely are the last fucking people who have any business keeping a working line terrier.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Respect

Feyd-Rautha x female!reader

Summary: Your betrothed is a son from one of the Great Houses, an awful man who has enjoyed threatening and scaring you since you were children. Feyd makes it known he doesn't appreciate such disrespectful treatment of the woman he loves.

Notes/Warnings: SA (mention of past unwanted touching. Not by Feyd). Violence and blood. Implied or mentioned sexual situations. Feyd is soft for reader and reader only. Typos, im sure. I think that's it. Feel free to correct me.

Words: 1900

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist

You told him stories of the youngest son of House Kenric. As you lay in Feyd’s arms, you recounted your meetings with your betrothed over the years. The ways he teased you as children, pinching your skin, tugging on your hair, spitting in your face, calling you worthless, stupid, pathetic. Then in the years before coming of age, how he would mock you alongside his brothers. How he would smack you if you defended yourself and force you to tell your father you’d fallen. How he would grope you over your dress when neither your parents nor his were paying attention. But you’d kept one story from him; the most recent of them.

Feyd had met you at a party for a handful of influential Great Houses, and it wasn’t long before he found himself rather attached to you. Over the course of six hours, you’d met, talked, flirted, snuck off, kissed, fell into bed, fucked, and returned to the party with no one the wiser. It was that same night you were able to convince your father of a budding interest in Harkonnen ways, and that if the Houses were aiming for peace and unity, there would be no harm in you spending a few months on Giedi Prime.

At the time, Feyd knew the “Harkonnen ways” you so appreciated didn’t extend far past the attachment the two of you shared and his ability to make you see stars when his cock was inside of you, but it eventually developed into more. Much more. Though never said aloud, he loved you. So much so that when you finally informed him of your betrothed’s treatment of you the week preceding the party—his cornering you, touching you, telling you of his intent to control and use you as he pleases once you become his wife—Feyd struggled to swallow his rage. 

“I’m scared, honestly,” you told him, your hand sliding up from his abdomen over his chest to the curve where his neck met his shoulder, gently squeezing the toned muscle. “How do I become the wife of a man like that? And what about producing his heir? I’ll have no choice but to let him have me.”

It made Feyd sick to think of another man so close to you. Another man’s hands on you, his lips marring your body, tongue between your folds, sweat staining your skin. Even screwing his eyes shut couldn’t make those images disappear. They only grew stronger, tormenting him. She’s not yours, a little voice whispered. Not your woman, not the mother of your child, not your wife. 

But, fuck, you should be. You should be all of those things. You would make a perfect Baroness; the only one Feyd could imagine himself wanting. You would face hardship with a sturdy backbone and not shy away from what Giedi Prime would request of you. You would be respected as the ruler by his side, as you deserve. Respected most of all by the man who loves you.

“Would you rather marry me?” Feyd asked, lazily running his fingers up and down your bare spine. He felt a sudden uneasiness, like nerves wiggling throughout his limbs. Such an unfamiliar sensation. Unwelcome, but not misplaced he supposed.

“Yes,” you replied to his relief. “But we both know that’s not how this works, Feyd. It’s just not that simple.”

You were right. It wasn’t simple. Your father made an arrangement with House Kenric, but there was no chance Feyd was going to let that old Duke take you from him in two weeks and ship you off to marry an abusive, unworthy pest of a man. If your father wouldn’t permit simplicity for the sake of your happiness, then Feyd would just have to make it simple. 

—

“Why is it again that I’m not allowed to see?” you ask as Feyd guides you down a dark corridor with his fingers covering your eyes.

“I told you it’s a surprise,” he teases. “Don’t you like my presents?” 

You chuckle. “Of course, I like your presents.”

“Then that’s all you need to know,” he tells you. “We are here, anyway.”

Coming to a stop, Feyd removes his hands from your eyes and places them on your shoulders, kneading out the tension that has only worsened in your body as your wedding day grows nearer. You blink once, twice, still curious as to what sort of present could possibly be this far from your rooms, but when your vision adjusts to the onslaught of bright light illuminating the small cell, you gasp at the sight before you. 

“What do you think?” Feyd asks, pressing a kiss to your neck as you take in the badly beaten body of Aldo Kenric—your future husband.

He’s secured to a chair, his arms strapped down to the chairs arms and legs strapped to legs. His head hangs low. His shirt is torn down the front, exposing the deep purple bruises that litter his torso. Blood drips from his nose and split lips to stain white fabric and forge red rivers through the hills of his abdomen muscles. If not for the pink flush to his skin, you would think him long dead.

The hand that raises to your mouth partially conceals your shock, but the rest of your face gives the emotion away. Your eyelids don’t seem to be able to blink anymore, and your brows will not lower from their position high up on your forehead. You don’t know how to swallow what you see.

With a sigh, Feyd says, “Wait a moment. He’s not very lively.” Then he steps around you toward your betrothed, lifts the man's head by his cropped blond hair, and hits him across the face with a smack that echoes throughout the cell. Scarlet droplets splatter across Feyd’s forearm like flung paint from a brush.

Aldo jolts awake, body convulsing in a sharp jerk. His eyes blow wide as saucers as he snaps his head in all directions and struggles against his binds. The gag in his mouth muffles his whimpers of panic. 

“H-How?” you stutter, glancing at Feyd. “When did you—”

“I had some of my men snatch him last night,” Feyd informs you. ‘While we were busy fucking’, he leaves out. “I was told it was done without difficulty. Didn’t put up a decent fight of any sort.” 

He grabs Aldo’s jaw, fingers pressing into the hollows of his cheeks, and forces his head so he has no choice but to look directly into Feyd’s eyes. “We had a long talk about respecting our women, didn’t we, Kenric?”

Tears stream down the man’s face, cutting through dried blood and dripping onto Feyd’s hand. Aldo tries to yank his head free from the tight grasp to look at you. You think he’s repeating your name behind the stuffing in his mouth, but you can’t be sure.

“What are you going to do with him?” you ask.

“What would you like me to do with him?”

“I can decide?”

He laughs. “Of course. I wouldn’t give you a gift and not let you choose what to do with it.”

You almost flinch in shock. You’re not known for choosing things for yourself. Until you met Feyd, ‘choice’ was a word associated with negativity and obligatory sacrifice. He is the one thing you’ve ever chosen. Your clothes, your hair, your studies, your husband—all selected for you. But Feyd…you met him and fell and didn’t want to get back up. 

Maybe now, you don’t have to.

“You’d kill him?” you ask.

Aldo screams behind his gag, more salty wet lines running down his face. His squirming shifts the chair back and forth and forward and back. Unevenly distributed weight nearly causes him to fall on his side, but Feyd sets him upright before he can crack his head on the stone floor. 

Reaching around his back, Feyd pulls out a small knife and in one sharp motion sinks it into Aldo’s thigh with a sickening yet satisfying thick thud. “Stay put,” he growls, then he turns to you with a smile. “Yes, I would kill him, if that would make you happy.”

Water pools in the corner of your eyes. Your bottom lip begins to quiver. Feyd rushes to you and cups your cheeks in warm palms. 

“Do not cry,” he demands as his thumbs brush over your cheekbones. “You know I hate it.”

“I'm sorry,” you say, sucking in a few deep breaths between your sniffles. “No one has ever done something like this for me before.”

His face softens. “I’d do everything for you,” he swears before drawing you in for a kiss; slow and sensual and sweet in front of the broken man who currently has a claim on your hand. You lose yourself to mouths moving in perfect sync until he pulls back. 

“So, do you have a preference?” he asks, giving you one final peck. “Slit throat now, or arena in the morning?”

Your head tilts in contemplation as you observe the distressed, wailing man who has happily hurt and terrified you. By nature, you are not a violent woman, not in the way your man is a violent man, and you were raised to believe that it is improper and rude and disrespectful to wish pain upon someone else—downright cruel or whatever—but there’s a sense of freedom now. Clearer mind, lighter heart, straighter spine, weakened conscience.

You raise a brow. “If I choose the arena, will you make a show of it?”

Feyd hums in agreement.

“And, um…” you pause.

“You can have anything you want,” Feyd says at your hesitation.

You nod, your confidence renewing with his encouragement. Yes, he’s right, you can have anything. With Feyd, it’s anything, and it’s conditionless. 

As you slowly drag your hand down his chest, you peer up at him through your lashes. “Will you go in without a shirt? I’d like to see you come out covered in red.”

Feyd smirks then steps out of your arms and crouches in front of your soon-to-be-former betrothed. “Did you hear her?” he asks Aldo as he flicks the hilt of the blade sticking out of his flesh. Aldo whimpers, pressing his legs together. “Covered, she says. And I will give her what she wants because I love her and this is how I respect her.”

Leaning down, you wrap your arms around his shoulders. “Let’s go to our room. I want to thank you…properly,” you whisper, softly kissing just under his ear before sucking his earlobe into your mouth. Feyd groans.

“And then I will properly thank you for thanking me, my love,” he says with a grin that falls into a frown when he turns back to Aldo. “See, Kenric? Respect.” Feyd slaps the top of Aldo’s leg for emphasis as he stands. “You can keep the knife for now. Can't have you bleeding out. We have an important day ahead of us and I don’t want it to be too easy.”

“Come on,” you snicker, pulling him by the hand as you walk backward out of the cell. 

Feyd spins and grabs you at the waist to lift you into his arms. You giggle as your legs lock around his hips.

“Will you agree to marry me now?” he asks you.

“Yes,” you tell him, your lips ghosting over his. “You saved me.”

--

tags (let me know if you want to be on the list): @avidreader73

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

I'm going to indulge in a little PSA

It's bee swarming season! So this is my friendly reminder to, if you find yourself with a swarm, please do not call an exterminator. Bees are not pests. There's bound to be some sort of beekeeping association in your area, and there will almost certainly be a beekeeper with room for more bees who will come and scoop up your swarm for free and give them a little bee house. Where I live the fire station keeps a list of beekeepers for this exact situation so people call them.

Also a general background on swarming: swarming is a normal part of bee reproduction. In spring the population of a healthy colony will expand rapidly, and they soon run out of space in their nest. So they will raise new queens and the colony will split, with half of them accompanying the old queen to a new location some distance away. Scouts will spend a day or two looking for a good place to nest while the swarm balls up somewhere waiting for a decision. Swarming bees are surprisingly unaggressive and can basically be scooped into a box.

(Beekeepers do generally try to have some control over this reproductive process. Loose swarms don't have great survival rates, and also that's half your colony gone with the wind. If they want the colony to split, they tend to pre-empt them and just move the half of the colony with the old queen into a new hive while they're still raising the new ones. They can also sell half a colony to another beekeeper. If they'd rather they did not split, they'll keep giving them more space in the hive to expand into. A beekeeper can lose control of the situation though- imagine you had weeks of late rain/cold, preventing you from opening the hive to do any of that, and then the weather breaks and your bees, who have been going stir-crazy that whole time, are gone before you got your boots on. It can happen. There are some beekeepers who do clip the queen's wings so she can't swarm, which sounds very tricky to do tbh and not common practice for amateurs.)

Anyway: if you see a swarm, don't call an exterminator, find a beekeeper!

[diejager]

Something crazy lol

How would the monster 141 guys react to hunter sneezing so hard their nose starts bleeding? cold is crazy where I am that this just happened

Cw: weird medical thing, blood, bloody nose, tell me if I missed any.

You caught a fever on the last mission, having to treck through the cold, rural regions of Finland, your bodies victim to the biting frost and staying in an abandoned bunker turned safe house for a few days resulted with that. As a medic - the medic of the Task Force - you knew what to do and what not to do, it was implemented in your training to rid of a cold or small sickness as quick as possible for a weakened body. They naturally flock you like worried mothers once you’re back on base, whenever someone was free, they’d tail you around the base, helping you with things if you had trouble with it because of your runny nose and dazed mind. They became your shadows, a perpetual shape following you from behind or the side.

It was expected from you to help even when you were sick, wearing a mask around people, taking care to avoid infecting others with your strand, and eating farther from your team or in the safety of your room where you wouldn’t worry about sharing the contagion while you ate. You took your medications on a regular schedule, a pill of ibuprofen for the aches, your pounding head, your throbbing joints and general soreness, and acetaminophen for your growing fever. You estimated, from prior experience, that your fever would break a week or two in when you took care to drink water, ate correctly, took your meds and slept regularly, but it persisted. Your fever was like a pest, consistent and stubbornly staying in your system. 

It got to the point that your nose became much too irritated, sensitive to the slightest touch or whenever you sneezed again and again. Your nose pained you with everything you did, and after one too many sneeze, something ruptured. You splattered blood on the inside of your mask after a painful sneeze, a raspy cough following it and a flurry of panic from them. Throwing away any caution and self-consideration for their health to hurry to your side, worried hands pawing at you and whispering their concerns at your sudden bloody nose. 

If they were worried about you before, now they were extremely concerned. Price had you confined to your room, tied down to your bed and left under watch with at least one man by your side, and they ignored every little complaints and huffs you threw at them. Ghost and Horangi had to manhandle you to your bed, laying your head on the soft pillow Alejandro and Rudy went on a hunt for and covering - wrapping you in with how much you struggled against them - you with a thick and warm blanket that Gaz went to the trouble of buying on a sudden whim. 

The sergeants had more time on hand, rerouting to your room so often that they lived with you, entertaining you when you grew bored from reading novels and watching a série or documentary on your tablet. They made you laugh and made your moments less depressing. Ghost and the colonels had less time to visit, but they came whenever they could, always bringing a plate of sweets or a snack to fix your occasional hunger; Ghost with his chip bag, König with his pastry, and Alejandro with his spiced food. Price was the busiest man of the team, glued to his desk and old and used chair, signing paperwork and having to think of a temporary replacement for you, but he still had time to pass at night or after he ate, bringing you a plate from the mess hall. 

You hated being sick, it went against all you stood for and it ultimately made your Task Force worry and fuss about you.

Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @angelcakes-22 @cassiecasluciluce @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-noora @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mul-pi @danielle143 @beau-min @makayla-666 @urfavsunkissedleo @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @luvecarson @petwifed @randominstake @heartelysia @jggykhug09090 @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @call-me-nyxx @sans-chara @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @thigh-o-saur @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami

[mortimermcmirestinks]

for fuck's sake, can we start being nicer about spiders?

every time I want to talk about cute or cool or badass spiders I get at least one fucking japester who's like "oh I bet it won't be tiresome and irritating if I write trite and unprompted flash fiction about murdering innocent and harmless animals with fire (a particularly torturous form of death) THIS time", and they're wrong every single fucking time.

I would rather have ten people telling me they are horny for spiders every time I mention an arachnid from now until the day I die than have to continue living in a world where one of my favourite animals is most well-known on the internet for being the centre of a quote-unquote "joke" about extreme and pointlessly cruel animal abuse.

jesus christ, guys. spiders are just animals. they're not even, like, pests, or invasive, or anything. the vast overwhelming majority of them can't even hurt humans, and the ones that can don't want to.

like, shit, sorry for the graphic image, but how would you feel if every time you posted a picture of a cute cat you got replies saying "if I saw that in my house I'd put it in a fucking beartrap"? because that's how I'm starting to feel about the "burn the house down when you see a spider" joke.

and before you get on my ass about arachnophobia, I am arachnophobic, being in the immediate IRL presence of spiders gives me an uncontrollable physical fear response, but the existence of arachnophobes does not give you free reign to jack off to the idea of being able to freely torture and murder animals that "give you the ick". you cannot trot out arachnophobia here as an excuse. there are tons of people who are scared of dogs. doesn't mean you gotta be a dick about dogs. same with spiders.

one of the most popular superheroes in the world is spider-themed and you still got fuckers out here thinking they're the funniest man alive for making jokes about killing spiders holy shit

anyway, rant over. picture of a cute spider under the cut ->

just a little guy! hello! if he was a character in a video game he'd have a squeaky little voice and ask you to help him find his buttons!

[catcas22]

Elden Ring Spider Headcanons

Radahn: Doesn't mind spiders (he can barely see them). But he's a helpful guy... Unfortunately for everyone around him. His followers have learned not to call out spiders when he's around, otherwise he'll slap down an entire zipcode trying to kill it for them.

Ranni: She vibes with the spiders. They add to that dilapidated haunted mansion look she's going for in her tower. And she's made of twine and ceramic, so she doesn't worry about bites. The spiders even eat pests that might ruin her books! She was, of course, thrilled to find out that those larger, pest-eating spiders she loved so much were called "wolf spiders."

Unfortunately, spider buddies come and go depressingly quickly. But one particularly large wolf spider has stuck around, his longevity most likely due to his diet of glintstone fireflies. Ranni most definitely has not nicknamed him "Spider Blaidd," and she definitely does not hold full conversations with him while Blaidd is away, because she definitely does not get lonely.

Rykard: He does not vibe with spiders. They ruin that immaculately kept haunted mansion look he's going for in the volcano manor. He initially burnt spiders to a crisp with tiny magma sorceries and left their charred shells as a warning to their brethren. He eventually switched to glintblades, as they don't leave scorch marks on the carpet.

Miquella: He doesn't like to kill them, and after much discussion he's convinced Malenia to let them be. He catches venomous spiders with a long-handled bug trapper he invented for just such a purpose, then releases them outside. The harmless house spiders can stay, so long as they don't bite. He'll gladly explain that spiders are a vital part of the ecosystem who keep down the numbers of insects who do spread disease, and they really only bite when threatened.

Malenia: She respects Miquella's wishes, but she's insisted on taking over the venomous catch-and-release duties. She's got her eye (metaphorically) on the spiders. She doesn't want them getting ideas just because Miquella has moth wings.

Marika: "Radagon, pass me the hammer."

"Why do you need... Oh gods!"

[entire wall explodes]

She's not even afraid of them. She just indulges in overkill for her own amusement. So few things bring her joy these days.

Morgott: Spiders give him anxiety. Not because he's afraid of spiders -- they just remind him of growing up in the sewers, and trying to keep Mohg from eating spiders. He was never sure if they were venomous, but Morgott wasn't taking any chances.

Mohg: He definitely doesn't eat spiders. Anymore. Maybe he did once, but Morgott is exaggerating. He doesn't eat them now. He is a prince, even if he did spend his formative years in a sewer. He is a cultured gentleman who can resist the temptation to eat delicious, delicious spiders.

He does occasionally ask Varré, hypothetically, if someone were to eat a crunchy, chewy spider with shiny red spots that look like candy... And then his cheek started swelling up, would that be, like, cause for concern?

Feel free to add your own!

[muzansfangs]

Guilty pleasure.

Starring: Muzan x reader; Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza and Nakime.

Warnings: nsfw, modern au, loss of virginity, language, sugar daddy dynamics, age gap (Muzan is 35, reader is 21), vaginal sex, reference to cheating, unprotected sex, creampie, dom!muzan, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, light choking.

Plot: Kokushibo comes to pick you up and he helps you with the move. During the car ride, Muzan texts you and blatantly tells you that he intends to have sex with you that very night. You spend the day exploring your new house, interacting with the other two bodyguards, until Muzan finally joins you for dinner. He seems genuinely interested in you and your habits and, when he leads you to his bedroom, you can clearly tell he is definitely invested into exploring every inch of your body.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello, there!

I’ve finally been able to update the second part of this short series. I hope you’re going to enjoy the reading and thank you so much for the support you’re showing me! Make sure to read the first part, before you proceed in reading this one. Things are finally getting started down here ;). Likes, comments and reposts are appreciated!

PART ONE| PART TWO| PART THREE| PART FOUR| PART FIVE | PART SIX

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CORRUPTION.

“How’s Mr. Kibutsuji?” you asked, shooting an interrogative glance at Kokushibo through the rear-view mirror of the car. Time had really flown and, before you could mentally prepare yourself to the radical change in your life, it was already Sunday and you had just locked the front door of your apartment, pestered by uncertainties about your new busy schedule and, most likely, new life-style.

“He is a respectful, classy man, miss L/N” the driver flatly replied, not averting his eyes from the road. It was your third failed attempt to make a small conversation with the stolid man, who was most likely going to be your bodyguard as well. You had had the chance to read all the clauses of the contract and it did not seem unpleasing. Except for your lack of privacy, due to being followed and watched in every step you took by a potential serial killer.

If you had to spend hours in Kokushibo’s company, then you would have liked to know him better, at least.

You sighed and rested your forehead against the cold car window “Yeah, I know. – you said, batting your eyes close for a few seconds – Do you think we could ever be friends? I mean, you’re going to be my shadow for the rest of my life. It’s weird and I… Uhm, well, I’d like to feel comfortable around you” you said, opting for a blatant request.

You were spontaneous, honest, and best known for speaking your thoughts without fear, or remorse. You would have surely not changed your attitude for a contract. Plus, it was not like you were rude. You liked to think yourself free to say and do whatever you pleased. Well, at least, when you were safe from prying eyes.

It took a few seconds for Kokushibo to reply something, but eventually he did and a skeptical “As you wish, ma’am” left his lips.

You rolled your eyes, palming your forehead in defeat. It was a lost cause, was it not? Nevertherless, it was your second time interacting with him. There was still a dim hope of breaking through his detached heart.

“Y/N, call me Y/N” you breathed out, expecting some kind of reaction from the taciturn bodyguard. However, he kept his mouth shut and you realised that, perhaps, Kokushibo was not just a man of few words: he probably found it odd that ‘the boss’s fiancé’ wanted to strike up a conversation with him.

You were about to pest him again with another sapless question, when your phone buzzed. You thought it was one of your friends, or maybe your collegues from the small restaurant you worked in. Some of them were heartbroken, when you announced them you had to resign for personal reasons. You could only imagine their faces, when they would have seen your face on the newspapers as Muzan’s wife.

You had still not filled up anyone with the fresh news, chiefly because you were not sure about the outcome of this arranged relationship.

However, when you read the text, you wheezed and clasped your hand over your mouth not to draw Kokushibo’s attention. Funny how you had acted as an attention seeker for fifteen minutes straight and now you were practically ducking your head down not to let him see your reflection in the rear-view mirror. Two words. He had opted for two mere words and your world had stopped revolving.

MUZAN: Sex. Tonight.

Your heart thrummed in your chest as you had to reread the text over and over again to check if you had read it correct. You had exchanged numbers before you left his house and you expected him to text you, at least, once or twice in the past few days. Yet, he had not called or even sent you a trivial message. Nothing. You did not quite expect him to demand a sexual performance from you, out of the blue. You were totally in, of course you were. Muzan Kibutsuji was handsome as Hell, you had always drooled after him, whenever the daily reports showed pictures and videos of him, especially during a conference.

You had accepted the terms of the contract without blinking. Having a sexual intercourse with him was a pleasing activity.

The thing was you were a virgin. Well, you had only experience with giving oral. That was the furthest you had gone with your ex. You knew that sooner or later it would have happened and you were electrified by the idea of giving yourself to him. He was a famous womanizer, unfortunately, but he was surely someone who had plenty of experience and knew how to treat a woman in bed.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…” you uttered under your breath, cheeks flushing up as you stared at the screen of your phone thunderstruck.

“What did you say, mi–… Y/N?” Kokushibo said, an ounce of concern and awkwardness echoing in his words. At the sound of your name leaving his lips, you squealed out in joy and almost forgot that fact that he had just heard you swearing. It did not matter anymore because he had just made progress, censuring himself even!

“Ah, yes! You got it, then! – you beamed, leaning forward until your chin almost rested over his shoulder – We’re going to be best buddies!” you said, watching how his hold on the steering wheel grew tighter. The tips of his ears were now tinted in a vivid shade of red and you chuckled, before sinking back onto your seat and texted a reply to Muzan.

You: I’d love that, Mr. Kibutsuji.

It did not take a lot for him to reply and, when he did, your breath hitched in your throat and you shoved your phone back into your bag.

Muzan: In a few hours, you’re going to forget how to properly sit for a week.

It was definitely going to be an unforgettable first day at the Kibutsuji manor.

♚

You expected to share the bedroom with Muzan. He had not mentioned that you could pick a guest room and sleep in there, until you felt comfortable enough to lay down next to him. You were taken aback, naturally, but you were glad he wanted you to settle down without any pressure. He was not imposing his authority on you, his presence in your life was not suffocating you… Yet.

He seemed a gentleman, but you barely knew him. What if things degenerated? You refused to believe it and all you focused on was the present and, as for now, he was not troubling you in any way.

Once you were finally done unpacking, Kokushibo told you he would have taken his leave to run an errand for Muzan and you were free to do whatever you pleased in the meanwhile.

“Wait, can I come with you? I… Well, I don’t want to be alone” you said, rubbing the back of your neck as you shot the most pleading glance at the man you had enjoyed annoying all day long.

Kokushibo quirked an eyebrow up “You are not alone, actually. – he simply replied, straightening his jacket – Douma and Akaza are in the basement. I can accompany you there…” the man said, folding his arms against his chest. Only then, when he flexed his arms, you noticed how muscular he actually was.

He had large shoulders, a broad chest and, most likely, a chiseled set of abs down his stomach. Well, damn, did Muzan really have to choose hot men as his bodyguards? Ignoring your dirty, inappropriate thought, you vigorously nodded your head and followed him down the corridor, hoping that the other two assassins were not as good-looking as Kokushibo. Your hopes, though, crushed down, when, hopping down from the elevator, you were met with two piercing golden eyes and fascinating multicolored hues.

The taller one, silvery hair and a malicious grin plastered over his face was the first one who spoke “Ah, there she is! I knew she was the perfect candidate for this job. Such a pity I could not ask her out…” he complained, discarding his phone on the counter of the bar area and strolling towards you.

He was magnetic, his smile so bright and malicious that could have enlighten the whole city during a blackout.

“Back off, Douma. – the short guy, sipping a glass of what you assumed to be cognac, hissed from the stool he was sitting on – Touch her and I’ll shoot you” he stated, slamming the shot onto the counter carelessly.

You let out a nervous laughter and flashed a thin-lipped smile at them, before greeting the rest of Muzan’s army “Akaza and Douma, right? Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N L/N” you introduced yourself, waving your hand at them sheepishly.

You wondered if Akaza really meant what he had said and your eyes betrayed your thoughts, making Douma sneer and grasp your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You could feel his breath fanning the tip of your nose, his slender frame towering over you as his half-lidded, mystical eyes scanned your face. He really did not know what personal space was, did he?

“Ah, look at you! Adorable, just adorable! Akaza loves to bully me, but he could never lay a finger on the second in command! Muzan-sama would kill him himself! – Douma chimed, tugging at your hand softly and leading you towards the bar – Now, now, let’s grab a glass of scotch and have a chit-chat, shall we?” he suggested, winking at you.

You had no idea of what to do and say. He seemed friendly, far way easier to talk to than Kokushibo, and, since they were going to be your protectors too, it was a good idea getting to know them better.

Before you could talk, Kokushibo’s deep voice pierced your ears and you both froze in your tracks “Take care of her. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes” he stated, glancing at the two men menacingly, before nodding your head in your direction and hastily leaving the basement.

You watched him leave, your stomach clenching, as you realised that you would have been able to see Muzan in a while. You were not nervous about the dinner, but you had to admit that the idea of undressing in front of him and moaning into his mouth was doing numbers on you.

What if he changed his mind because you had almost zero experience?

You sighed and Douma snaked his arm around your waist, leading you to the stool next to Akaza’s one. As you sat down, you swallowed the lump in your throat and propped your elbows on the counter, eyes transfixed on the crystal bottle of liquor in front of you.

“Can I have a glass of whatever it is, please?” you whispered, earning a chuckle from Douma.

“Bad day?” Akaza asked you, reaching his hand out to grab a glass and the bottle you had been staring at almost lustfully.

You shrugged and flicked your gaze up to meet his golden eyes “Kind of… – you breathed out, as he slided the now filled glass towards you on the polished surface of the counter – I’m not used to be treated like a princess. Everything’s great, don’t get me wrong. I guess it’ll take some time for me to adapt” you said, grasping the glass and dawning a small sip of the alcoholic drink. It burned down your throat and you took a deep breath not to cough up at their faces.

Akaza grinned and cocked his head to the side, his pink eyelashes contrasting with the shimmering hues beneath them “You know, I thought you were a bitch. That’s because Douma found you and he usually has bad tastes in women” he said, making you choke on yiur drink.

What?

You settled the glass back on the counter, eyes daggers on Akaza as he just giggled at your reaction. What did he mean by ‘Douma found you’? You knew that someone had clearly spied on you, you just were startled to find out it was the jovial silver-haired man who had welcomed you in the basement.

“Yeah, he’s stalked you for months!” he added, running his ringed fingers through his spiky hair.

Your head whipped, eyes finally locking with Douma’s ones, demanding at least an apology for having invaded your privacy “How many photographs of me have you taken?” you asked him, quirking an eyebrow up.

He smiled brightly at you and shrugged “Uhm… Probably over twothousand. You know, Muzan-sama became obsessed with you when I showed him the first picture of you I had taken!” he casually declared, as if it was not the creepiest thing to say to someone.

Muzan became obsessed with you?

You shivered, biting the insides of your cheeks in discomfort. How many things did he know about you? Why was he so obsessed with you, a common civilian who was trying to graduate and pay for her studies by working night-shifts at a restaurant?

“Tell me you have not broken into my house, at least” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Silence. Did he?

You gasped and clasped a hand over your mouth in shock and Douma jabbed his finger at Akaza accusingly “Hey, I was not alone! He came with me countless times!” he protested, earning a scornful look from the pink-haired guy.

“Sure I did! I was afraid you were going to follow her into the bathroom, you perv!” Akaza yelled, slamming his fist onto the counter and leaning towards him, despite you being in his way.

“Okay, okay! Stop it you two!” you interjected, blocking Akaza’s view on the taller man.

“See? You made Y/N-chan upset!” Douma rebuked Akaza, folding his arms against his chest and giving him an annoyed side-eye.

Well, they were hilarious. You were glad that two out of the three bodyguards were not as stiff as Kokushibo. They were amusing, even, and they had made the revelation about how you ended up in Muzan’s house less scary than it was. A politician could not be an saint and Muzan was surely far from being one.

Before you could open your mouth to say something, a feminine voice echoed from the entrance of the basement and you three switched your attention on the brunette woman staring at you.

She was probably a little bit older than you. Long, chocolate brown hair and crimson-red lipstick exalting her pale skin, she wore a black tailleur, the skirt being way too short though, and revealing a black, leather suspender with a sharp knife in it. She seemed lathal and she was absolutely beautiful, although you could barely see her eyes.

“Master Muzan’s waiting for you, miss L/N” she coldly said and you clumsily hopped down from the stool to walk towards the elevator not to piss her off. She did not seem like the type you would have messed with, plus you had never seen her before.

“Ah, Nakime-dono… – Douma suavely addressed her – I wondered where were you”.

You passed by her and she bowed her head at you “Enjoy your meal, ma’am. Nobody will disturb you and the Master tonight” she said and you felt a wave of cold sweat running down your back. Were you ready for it?

♚

You were sitting across from him. His plum red eyes boring into yours, as he watched you bringing the spoon to your mouth and repress a moan of pleasure, when the delicious rice met your yearning taste buds.

You had been talking about everything. He seemed eager to know everything about you. Your studies, what you would have loved to do after your graduation, your hobbies, your family. He found you fascinating, adorable.

“It looks like I’ve chosen something you like, doesn’t it? – he commented, a faint smile adorning his lips as you blushed and shyly nodded your head – You can ask the chef to cook whatever you please for lunch tomorrow” he added, clearing his throat.

Seriously?

You smiled at him and settled the silver spoon onto the now empty plate “Thank you so much, Muzan. I will try to pick something you can enjoy too!” you said softly.

He did not reply, he just stood up, consuming the five strides dividing you two in a nick of time and swiftly grasping your chin between his forefinger and thumb. It was time for him to claim you, was it not? Your cheeks seemed to burn under his intense gaze and firm touch and you mouth went suddenly dry.

“Come with me, baby” he whispered, after a few seconds. His hand left your chin, his fingertips grazing down the tender flesh of your neck, travelling down its length and stopping right above your cleavage.

You nodded your head and he wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling you up and closer to him. He leaned down, until his nose brushed against yours and you batted your eyes close in anticipation. You felt butterflies fluttering into your stomach and, by the time he swept you off of your feet and cradled you in his arms, you knew he had already won your heart.

You clung to him, feet dangling in the air as he led you to his majestic bedroom. He banged the door open, entering in and not caring about closing it behind you. When he dropped ruthlessly onto the bed, your eyes snapped open and you saw the lustful gaze he had trailed on you. The tent in his pants was prominent and you pushed yourself up on your elbows, biting on your lower lip nervously.

He smirked down at you unbuckling the belt with one hand “Take your clothes off. Now” he demanded, throwing it away and unzipping his pants.

“Yes, sir” you murmured, proceeding in kneeling on the bed to pull the simple pink dress you were wearing above your head. You felt his gaze on you, you felt it soaking in every curve of your body, searching for the proof that you were as excited as him. And he found it.

Your white virginal panties had an evident dump he did not fail to notice. You stared up at him and he pulled his shaft out of the tight fabric of his black boxers, giving it a few pumps. It was huge, it would have hurt like Hell and you gulped nervously as you hesitantly pulled your panties down your thighs, exposing your untouched flower at his vicious eyes.

“Fuck” he grunted, crawling over the bed and grasping you by your hips. You squirmed as he pushed you down onto the mattress, his fingers snatching the panties away from your ankles and discarding them somewhere behind him.

“S-Sir, please… Be gentle, I’m a virgin” you blurted out, earning a dumbfounded glance from the raven-haired man.

He could not believe his eyes. You, the young and lovely girl he was about to mark as his property was actually a virgin. He chuckled, parting your legs and grazing your chaste entrance with his pointer finger. You shuddered under his touch, your juices coating the pad of his digit as he slowly shoved it inside you.

You yelped, his other hand pushing your hips down to keep you in place “Your admission just made me feral. Are you under birth-control?” he huskily asked you, pumping the finger in and out of soaked, tight cunt.

You whined and nodded your head at him “Y-yes… Yes, I am, Master” you winced, as he deliberately decided to add another finger into you. He was loving every second of it, your moans music to his ears. He had even declined Nakime’s avances earlier. Something he was not used to, actually, and he had not even called Daki for the usual morning quickie in his office. Nothing, all because he wanted to focus on you. Only on you.

“Good. That’s good, love, because I’ll cum into you” he rasped, removing his fingers from your core and lining his shaft at your entrance. You held your breath, cheeks heating up even more at his words, as you boldly wrapped your legs around him.

He was still fully clothed and you were so lost into the depths of your mind that you had not realised it until now. Why was he fucking you like that? Was it his kink?

And with a quick, painful thrust he entered you. You let out a throaty moan, the pain, mixed with an unfamiliar pressure into your neather regions made your arch your back and grip the red bedsheets into your fists so tightly you thought they were going to rip into shreds.

Muzan grunted, his hand caressing your cheek lovingly to capture the tear you had shedded, before planting a kiss over your plumped lips. You relaxed, he stayed still for a few minutes, before he pulled out and thrusted back in gently. You moaned into his mouth, your hand, cupping his smooth cheek as you whispered a weak “Please, don’t stop” against his lips.

Muzan bit your lip softly, tugging at it to assert his authority on you “Hush, baby. Moan for me until I fill you up to the brim”.

You kissed him again, Muzan returning it as he started to pick up a faster pace. He thrusted into you, his mouth latching onto your collabone as he left a trail of wet kisses down it. You were his. You were going to fall for him, no matter how long it would have taken.

You were his doll, his precious baby, his goddess.

“A–Ah, Muzan… I-I think I’m close… It’s good, it’s so good” you breathed out then, as his hand grasped your throat and gave it a tight squeeze. You moaned, eyes rolling at the back of your skull, as your spongy walls clamped down his cock.

He growled, his hips rutting into you as he neared his climax and, just a few moments before he spurted his seed into you, you orgasmed around him. Muzan lowly moaned, burying his face onto the crook of your sweaty neck as he finished inside you. He stayed sheathed into you for a few minutes, before pulling out of your aching core and rolling over his back.

You could not believe what had just happened. You could not believe you had just slept with the next President, you could not believe he had come into you.

“You can sleep here, if you want” he casually said then, snapping you out of your stream of consciousness. He was not laying next to you anymore, he was on his feet and walking towards the private bathroom of his bedroom, undressing and leaving a trail of clothes behind him.

Well, what a first day it had been.

[garden-variety-jumo]

I want to talk about the latest Doctor Who episode looking at monoculture and worldbuilding and how it adds fantastically to the whole episode.

I knew about the twist in the episode before I went into it, so I have less to say about how the racism shocked me and more about the society they function in.

As I mentioned in a previous post, none of them experience the world around them- pretty much at all.

I watched Lindy walk to work and I thought to myself "is that their gardens? They never stop to look at them?" Maicured grass with decorative shrubs- not only is the grass itself a symbol or capitalism and class systems, but it's perfectly kept and that's pretty much all the biodiversity you see.

It's a monoculture, it's not hospitable to insects, and it reveals more about the planet to you. It's not hospitable to insects because they aren't meant to live there. There probably even aren't any, thanks to the forcefields around the city. They may be seen as pests, but they're absolutely vital to an ecosystem. It makes me imagine that even the dirt housing the grass is likely free of microfauna- meaning some other technological intervention is taking place to make the grass stay green- it might not even be real. Which implies nothing can grow.

Also note you also don't see any pets.

Additionally, the doctor that pops up on Lindy's screen notes she doesn't need to urinate. Sure it's just a silly joke about how when she gets scared she suddenly does need to. But it tells you:

1) That is seen as a good thing, having to pee is seen as an inconvenience or maybe a social faux pas

2) If she doesn't need to pee, she doesn't need to drink. If she doesn't need to drink, she doesn't need to eat either

And if she doesn't need to eat, she probably doesn't, and she almost definitely never cooks either. I'll say it a million times- as will Dungeon Meshi as it's surged in popularity: you need to eat to be alive and, in fact, being alive is all about being able to eat- finding balance and enjoyment and sharing experiences and staying alive. It's a celebration of who you are and where you came from and how good it is to still be alive. And in their society- it's just gone.

Everyone dresses so similarly and even acts similarly. Everyone dresses in clean cut clothing and pastels- even those who have more eccentric styling or hair, they fit into this world and it's not commented on. The most diversity they have is Goth Paul and even he doesn't dress fully in black- he has an almost pastel purple in his hair. So even with those "different" they're actually quite similar

(Thinking about it. Did anyone in that episode have curly hair besides the Doctor...?)

And it all leads back to monoculture. Even think about how everyone in the city is the same sort of demographic: 17-27, rich, white. Likely also able bodied and neurotypical. Nothing can live or thrive in a monoculture, no one can or will change, and so they stagnate- as does the world around them.

People become more accepting and open and kind when they try new experiences and meet new people, by expanding their worlds, they become more tolerant- but this is a world in which that can never happen. Even Ricky September, who turns off his bubble, stays inside to read. He never goes out, never tries anything- so not even he would have the capacity to change, truly.

Knowledge is such a powerful tool as well as being open to outside influences and change. By living with people who are the same, they can never take on the wisdom of their elders, and by living in a monoculture, their fashion will never change, they will never try new food, they will never appreciate new growth on plants or learn to take care of pets.

They can never change or grow. And the racism building their society has ensured that. They will never learn empathy, because they will never interact with different races and are taught to be disgusted by them. They will never be able to experience the joys of those cultures either, not that they deserve them, they won't pick up new fashion or recipes or dance or music. And from their point of view, they never want to.

Experiencing the world will teach you much more than books ever could. Ricky September showed bravery and empathy from his limited freedom, much more than Lindy was capable of. But he would still be racist if it came down to it, because why would he be otherwise?

This is their perfect society: nothing can live there and nothing ever will. And thanks to it, not one of them will survive.

[albinotopaz]

Hello! I make comics and fan-comics in my free time, but don't always post things chronologically...

A comprehensive list:

Kelpie AU: Psychonauts

A decade ago, the Psychonauts struggled with a major pest problem. A problem which intertwines with the Aquato family secret.

OG / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / ...

Prison Ghost AU: Danny Phantom

After being trapped in Walker's prison for 16 years, Danny's friends get him out. But a lot has changed in that time.

OG / 1 / 2 / 3 / ...

Extra: Danny / Sam

Ask Responses: 1 / 2 /

Asante Centaurs (Original Story written with @theinodog)

A Saskatchewan centaur moves into a gated modern-day Portland, Oregon community.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 /

Post Mindscape: The Owl House

2 years after the Boiling Isles are saved, Hunter struggles to find peace. His friends try to help.

>>Not yet posted<<

WIP: 1 / 2

The Southern Water Tribe: Avatar the Last Airbender

The Firelord makes a visit to the Southern Water Tribe.

>>Not yet posted<<

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[thefiery-phoenix]

yandere dg hcs if u havent yet?? ty❤️

YANDERE JAMES LEE (DG) HEADCANONS

He's an unpredictable ticking time bomb to say the least. It doesn't matter if he's James Lee or DG, they're STILL the same person. As soon as his eyes land on you, that's when your entire life belongs to him now. He's borderline possessive, obsessive, manipulative and not above gaslighting you emotionally to make you stay with him. There are 2 instances when you could have met him, as James Lee or as DG but it doesn't make the situation any better since they're both the same obsessive psychotic person when it comes to you

If you met him as James Lee, it would probably be when you'd be in school with him or something. You were the sort of person who'd never get involved in fights and always kept yourself under the radar. Your only concern was to just pass the freaking math test this week with a decent score. While you were returning home from school, you spotted James hitting a few people like they were nothing and you glared at him disapprovingly. He spotted you glaring at him and he was amused by your pouty glare. "Aww...don't worry princess, you don't need to worry about bad men anymore" he said in a slightly patronizing condescending tone with a smirk on his face. You just grumbled under your breath and walked away as his eyes never left your figure till you vanished from his sight. He couldn't help but softly chuckle to himself, you were quite intriguing

He'd spend time getting to know more about you which will also involve smacking people around to give him the information he needs regarding you. He won't even be discreet about following you or stalking you at this point, he just has this arrogant cocky grin on his face and thinks he's protecting you and comes up with a number of reasons on why you need him to be around you. He despises it when you pay attention to other people though, they're just mere pests in his eyes. Why would you waste your time with them? Why would you waste your time with those silly little annoying pests you call your friends? You're clearly a naive one if you think they don't have ulterior motives towards you, he's certain they have ulterior motives towards you

Or you could either meet him when he's DG. You could be an assistant of his or a dancer, catching his attention as DG would he slightly more difficult compared to him as James Lee because he's so used to people throwing themselves at him and he just doesn't even bother to react to them anymore. Miraculously if you do end up catching his attention at some point, within the next 10 minutes he'll have every single nitty gritty detail about you one way or another and reads about you like you're some kind of fascinating specimen in his free time

As time progresses by, he'll start growing more possessive and obsessive towards you. It'll get even worse if you're going out with him and in a relationship with him. He'll want to know about every single thing going on in your life and who you're with and what sort of pest he'll have to get rid of to ensure you're his. I wouldn't put it past him to not resorting to installing cameras in your house either because he really would do something like that. What? It's just to ensure your safety, that's all. You'll always have someone stalking you from behind the shadows and you'll never have your moment of privacy again. Say goodbye to your much cherished privacy since it'll go out the window and down the drain and he's the reason for it

He likes you for being yourself. He's met plenty of superficial people and people who's personality changes even faster than the colors of a chameleon but your presence is like a breath of fresh air compared to the usual people he interacts with. You could be plain and simple and he'd still love you. In his own twisted manic way. He's drawn to your humble down to earth nature. He loves it when he gifts you something and you start blushing and turn flustered, he's now made it his personal mission in life to see you get flustered more often since he finds you rather adorable and endearing when you do that. Your cheeks puff out slightly whenever you're feeling embarrassed about something so he'll teasingly caress your cheek with his hand to watch you squirm even more. Your reactions are too cute and entertaining for him. Sadistic MF

He loves to spoil you. Whatever you want, just say the word and you'll have it in the blink of an eye with a shiny packaging wrap around it just for you. However a while later his behavior will start getting much worse. He'll slowly start distancing you from your friends since he wants your attention to be only on him. There's a reason he's called one of the 10 geniuses you know. He'll do it in a calculating manner you won't know and realize he's isolating you from people before it's too late. He won't even deny it when you confront him about it, the way he sees it is he's just doing this for your own good. He's fought against gang members and yakuza leaders and whatnot, there's a reason he's one of the feared skilled fighters around. He doesn't want you going through the same thing as him so just be a good little spouse for him and accept his love for you. Will take you out on bike rides on his bike as well. He loves it when you hold him and rest your head on his shoulder. Night bike rides with him are quite romantic, he'll take you out to a place where the stars are visible and he'll hold you in his arms and you both will enjoy the peace and serenity of the night atmosphere, looking at the stars

Oh,you'll report him to the authorities? Darling, you're just making him laugh with your naivety at this point. He has the power and authority to buy the entire police department or whoever he wants. He's an IDOL admired by the people. When the faith in him is strong, no one can bring him down. It's not like someone would even believe you anyway and even if you do find the one sane enough person to believe you, DG will get rid of them quickly. Don't bother trying to escape from him either, he has all the resources and power to locate you and trace your location in mere seconds. You'll be dragged back to 'your home' and he'll just scold you like you're a child. And all escape routes for you will be destroyed, you'll lose your internet privilege for a month and the security system will be more improved and he'll change the locks too. Look, he might be a ruthless fighter but that doesn't mean he's a monster at heart. He genuinely does love you and care for you, he doesn't want to hurt you. He'd never get physical or raise his voice at you even when he's mad

Will control everything you do. Whatever do you need a job for? It's strenuous to work these days, he doesn't want you getting tired and gaining the attention of some random undeserving scumbag who doesn't have the right to look at you. He's more than enough to provide for the two of you. Let him just spoil you and take care of you

Don't even get me started on what he does to people who hurt you. Now it depends on the sort of person who's hurt you. If it's just some random jealous fangirl or fanboy, he'll use his popularity to his advantage and that person's account will get suspended and they'll have an fanbase hurling curses towards them. Fanbases can be quite scary at times. If it's some gang member or some jerk of a gang leader he will not go easy on them. He'll ensure they live, sure but live a painful torturous life. He'll either make them blind in one eye or both, or cut one of their fingers off or something for daring to hurt you. He'll finish the job quickly and he'll do it by himself. If it's Charles Choi trying to hunt you down for some reason....well, it's been long enough since that old man's been in a position of power and he'll bring him down. It's best if you don't ask where the blood is from

He likes holding you in his arms and having you on his lap. It doesn't matter what you say, you're sitting on his lap one way or another. He'll give you soft kisses on your lips every now and then and loves it when you do basic chores around the house even though you don't need to since there are people to take care of that for him. He likes seeing you in that cute little apron of yours, cooking something or doing laundry or whatever. He'll envelope you in a hug from the back and press soft kisses to your neck as his arms will be wrapped around your waist tightly so you won't be able to escape from his grasp

Overall, he's a good guy with a psychotic hidden personality inside. Just don't leave him and things will be all right