mortimermcmirestinks

[mortimermcmirestinks]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

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Earlier I was scrolling Reddit and I come across a post in r/shrooms, a sub reddit dedicated to psychadelic mushrooms and frequently featuring entries from users who are posting during a trip.

A guy posts, freaking out, that the delivery person who dropped off his food had a huge snake wrapped around his neck and the snake was talking to him and tripped him out.

He shares a picture ne sneakily took of the delivery driver.

The delivery driver actually does, in fact, have a live 7 or so foot long boa constrictor draped across his shoulders.

Can you fucking image. Being blasted out of your gourd on hallucinogenic substances, getting a random knock at the door and the guy has a live gigantic snake just chilling. Your head would explode

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Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.

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I found out on rednote that the fish cake emoji 🍥 is often used by transfems to represent hrt because it looks like the packaging on the progynova brand of estradiol lol. exhibit a

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"What the fuck?"

no, "Watch the Phacus".

Take a 30 second scrolling break to watch these little algae swim.

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Kink isn’t shameful because of the weird sex stuff. That part’s rad. It’s shameful because it is technically improv. 

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"women are my favourite guy"

the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!

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isnt there a better picture they could have used

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imagine finding a fossil that at first seems like an ancient human, but once you actually take samples of it, you find out it's a 17 million year old fossil, and it's a perfect dna match to you.

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a comic about fix-it fanfics

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if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast. end of story.

if a surgeon says your child has to fast, they have to fast. even if they are rreeeaaaallly hungry. even if they beg for food. even if they cry. even if they throw a tantrum. even if they scream for hours.

if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast.

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if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast. end of story.

if a surgeon says your child has to fast, they have to fast. even if they are rreeeaaaallly hungry. even if they beg for food. even if they cry. even if they throw a tantrum. even if they scream for hours.

if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast.

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if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast. end of story.

if a surgeon says your child has to fast, they have to fast. even if they are rreeeaaaallly hungry. even if they beg for food. even if they cry. even if they throw a tantrum. even if they scream for hours.

if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast.

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One of the biggest issues of moving to England as a person who is Ukrainian AND neurodivergent is not knowing how to answer the small talk question of "how are you", but today I was reminded that Ukrainian blessed me with the phrase that roughly translates as "living is hard but dying would be a pity" and can we please naturalise it so I can use it all day every day

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I use Canva for work and I am losing my mind over this image when you search for “fellowship” and “teamwork”

idk man

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