#hopefully this finds the right people
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don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it— do u think that this is how everyone in lmanburg felt when schlatt was elected president? like especially considering bc it was up to the viewers and not them at the end of the day… kinda like how the presidential election was up to the electoral college and not the people at the end of the day
#dsmpblr#dream smp#dsmp#election 2024#us elections#hopefully this finds the right people#because otherwise#i am so sorry
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Hospitals had never been the favorite location of either of the Dead Boy Detectives, and they usually refrained from even approaching the premises when at all possible. In the early days of the agency, it was too risky— too many dying or newly dead individuals meant Death was nearly impossible to escape, after all. Even now, with an expanded agency under the influence of the Night Nurse, and as such without immediate risk of hell if they strayed too close to Death, they still tried to avoid hospitals out of habit and for the comfort of all involved—the boys never knew when someone might see them (and it never stopped stinging when someone suddenly did) and it wasn’t exactly easy for the girls to just walk into a hospital without rousing suspicion. It was easier in some ways, these years later, now that the girls were adults and less likely to be seen as truants, but that newfound freedom did not bring with it any sudden desire to see what they were missing behind hospital doors.
All this caution and hesitation was ignored when Charles tapped on the mirror to check on his parents and was met with an unexpected chaos. A heart attack, from what the paramedics were saying as they wheeled the old man out on a stretcher, Charles’s mother and their neighbor following behind in her car. Charles didn’t witness the incident itself, pure luck on the timing, but the aftermath was a flurry of commotion that left him reeling.
He wandered back to the main space of their headquarters (a bigger place than what it once was, courtesy of the girls’ tiring of the boys being unreachable during a crisis or two and deciding to go all in on a shared flat) in a daze. Charles didn’t hide his checking in on his parents anymore, but still preferred to do it alone. Thankfully, his friends were kind, wonderful people who were happy to leave him to it. Said wonderful friends, however, were also quick to notice something wrong.
“Charles?” Edwin, naturally, was the first to notice Charles’s return and immediately put his book aside.
The girls, engrossed in a new show on the other side of their living room, snapped up in their own ways.
“What’s wrong?”
“What happened?”
Charles swallowed down the mixture of emotions threatening to drown him, “It’s my dad, he’s had a heart attack.” He screwed his face up in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to spill out. Why was he crying? The bastard made his life miserable—
“Good.” Crystal was the first to comment. Niko slapped at her arm. Crystal put her hands up, “What? He was awful!”
“It’s still his dad!” Niko protested, “You can’t just say that!”
Charles tuned out their bickering. Everything felt a little tuned out, actually. And then Edwin was in front of him, hands on his shoulders.
“-love? Charles?”
“Hmm?” Charles tried to silence his whirring emotions.
“Are you alright?”
The Charles of even several years ago would have been quick to brush it all off with a smile. But he’d grown since then.
“Honestly? Not sure. Is that bad? Crystal’s right, he was a dick.”
“And Niko makes a very good point as well. He’s still your father.”
The tears were back again. Edwin pulled him in for a hug before Charles could say another word.
The girls had also quieted, alternating between watching the exchange and speaking through meaningful glances.
Niko was the one to break it, “Did you want to see him?”
The very idea shocked Charles, going rigid in Edwin’s arms.
“He might not even be dying, and going to a hospital is recipe for trouble—“ Charles responded slowly, as if waiting for someone to agree with him and take the weight of the decision off of him.
“I mean, a heart attack is probably close enough to death even if it doesn’t get him.” Crystal contributed.
“And our avoidance of hospitals doesn’t matter if you’d like to go see him. The Night Nurse’s lone positive trait is her protection from Death’s clutches, after all.” Edwin said into Charles’s curls.
“I-“ Charles gave himself a breath, “I wouldn’t even know what to say.”
“We don’t have to.” Crystal said softly.
“Yeah, we can just have our movie night and distract you, or if you want to talk to us but not go see him…” Niko backed her girlfriend up, trailing off into the silence.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Edwin echoed, sighing, “But I don’t want you to regret anything, either.”
“That’s true, it might be good for closure…” Niko chimes in once again, positive in the face of it all and determined to see Charles cheered up as well.
“Fuck that. You don’t owe him closure. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go.” Crystal’s anger was not what it once was, but she had her moments, particularly when abusers were the topic of discussion. Thankfully she seemed determined to keep her composure.
“Your call, Charles.” Edwin said, pulling away from the embrace but not letting Charles go just yet. He obviously had more to say, if the turn of his mouth was any indication, but he was all softness regardless.
“Could be my last chance, innit?” Charles said lowly, obviously not thrilled at the prospect, “If the bastard goes…”
Edwin’s face shifted, and Charles knew he’d guessed Edwin’s unspoken comment correctly. Still, Edwin’s tone and posture were the same, “No one expects it of you. And we’ll support you regardless of what you decide.”
Charles had a distant feeling of pride that Edwin had gotten better at this sort of thing. He’d tell him that another time. Once this was all over and the world made sense again.
After a moment of reflection, Charles sighed, “I think I’d like to go. Might help me heal or closure or whatever, yeah?”
The girls were up, pulling on their coats and shoes without a second thought. Charles felt monumentally lucky to have them.
Including the boy who held him still, voice low and meeting his eyes, “Do you want all of us with you? We can stay behind if you’d rather do this alone.”
Charles shook his head with his same sad smile, “I don’t want to think what might happen if I do all this alone, mate. Though you’ll have to forgive me if I lose my cool.”
Edwin clearly saw through the attempt at a joking diversion but smiled regardless, “Very well. Do you know which hospital we’re visiting?”
“I’m not sure, but it’s probably closest to their place, yeah?” Charles guessed, scrambling his thoughts trying to remember which hospital he’d been taken to when he’d broken his arm as a kid. It was so long ago, and so much had happened since…
Edwin once again shook him out of his thoughts, “Some investigation is in order, then. Niko? Crystal?”
“On it!” Niko chirped, already deep into her phone, Crystal close behind.
After some internet sleuthing, the girls had acquired the address of the nearest hospital to the Rowland family home and were taking the long way there while the boys readied themselves in front of the mirror.
“Are you ready?” Edwin double checked, hand outstretched.
Charles shook himself, “Not sure I’d ever be, love, but let’s get on with it.”
Edwin pulled him in for a quick kiss on the cheek, a sincere smile, and then through the mirror they went.
—-
They stepped out of a mirror in one of the many bathrooms in the hospital complex, disoriented by the amount of beings (alive and dead alike) as they tried to navigate the halls. The A&E department was the worst, with traumatic deaths creating a perpetual plethora of ghosts. Of course, this was also the first place they needed to check.
The boys held hands tightly as they went, both wound tight by the noise and the blood and the general atmosphere of the place. It was far from the most dangerous place they’d been in their decades together, but that brought little comfort in the face of it all.
Phasing through the various doors and curtains, it was ultimately clear that if Charles’s father was in this hospital, he’d been moved elsewhere. They split momentarily, with Edwin going to find a map of the hospital while Charles waited at the nurse’s station to see if he could get any leads on his family.
It soon became clear that there was simply too much going on for Charles to glean any real information, and he was ready to give up and find Edwin when the next phone call to the desk came from a familiar phone number and gave way to a familiar voice. Niko’s voice was clear on the other end, and just loud enough for Charles to overhear. The nurse gave the information with little questioning, informing all involved that Mr. Rowland had just been moved to a private room on a different floor. Charles didn’t stick around to listen to what exact department the man was in, or what the prognosis was—as soon as he knew the number he was off to find Edwin.
It was quieter in this department. Less urgent. Which meant something significant that Charles was pointedly not thinking about, less that send him into another tailspin. Thankfully Edwin’s presence was grounding beside him.
A nurse left the room as they found it, giving a glimpse through the doorway. Charles’s mother sat at his father’s bedside, accompanying neighbor at her side. They couldn’t see his father (or his father’s ghost for that matter) from their vantage point.
Edwin gave one last squeeze of Charles’s hand to get his attention, “I can give you a moment alone if you’d like.”
“Don’t you dare.” Charles tried to joke, but his voice didn’t seem to cooperate. Edwin’s eyes saddened, but he gave a firm nod and gestured for Charles to take the lead.
The man of the hour looked frail against the white sheets. He was awake, but by the look of his eyes he was definitely on his way out. There was a bulky mask over his nose and mouth, IV in his arm, heart monitor dragging along beside him. Charles's mother sat quietly, holding his hand between two frail ones of her own.
Charles didn't think his emotions could get any more complicated, and then his father's eyes found him. Then Edwin. Then back to him. He rasped behind the mask, Charles's mother shushing him gently.
"Hi dad." Charles sighed more than said, standing awkwardly at the foot of his bed and gripping Edwin's hand so hard he wouldn't be surprised if he managed to hurt him despite all the ghost technicalities.
Another rasp, this time accompanied by a frail hand gesturing towards the boys. Charles nearly slumped in relief when his mother glanced their way but returned to murmuring to her husband rather than reel back in shock. She had some time left, at least. His father, however, continued to try to speak.
Seeing his mother's distress, Charles felt himself snap into his protective mindset without thought, snarking, "Just give it up, mate. They can't see us—you're the only one dying here, so only you get the honour. Trust me, I'd rather talk to mum than you any day, but I cant say I'm too torn up about you going first. Maybe she'll get to have some happy years without you."
The man thankfully stopped his rasping, but his eyes emoted enough that Charles knew he heard him. It gave him the confidence to keep going, never quite sure what his next word was going to be but glad to say it anyway.
"Not that you asked, but I've been having a great time these last thirty, forty years. Yeah my death was awful, don't get me wrong. Kinda wish you got even a taste of that, for all the shit you put me through… Actually, do heart attacks hurt?" He turned his question towards Edwin, who had such a complicated expression that Charles immediately decided that the question wasn't that important, "Doesn't matter now, I guess. But yeah, my afterlife has honestly been better than my life ever was. Not only do I not have to deal with your bullshit, but I've also found people who actually care about me.
"Like this, right here, is Edwin," Charles swung their held hands upwards in an attempt at a wave, earning a slightly hysterical chuckle from Edwin, "He found me dying in that attic, showed me kindness as I died, and I've been by his side ever since. He's the best thing that ever happened to me—"
Charles took a breath as his voice cracked, Edwin's hand squeezing his in silent support. Charles didn't look over to try and keep it together a bit longer.
"He's the love of my—well, love of my afterlife. And I know you’d hate that, or at least hated all that when I was alive. I remember your rants about how all those people dying deserved it. Shouting at the telly like they personally offended you just by existing. Do you still think like that, all these years later? Hell, now here you are, dying on a hospital bed while your queer son laughs at you. What a twist!" Charles laughs, but it doesn't sound right even to himself. He, once again, pointedly doesn't look at Edwin. Looking at Edwin means dropping the brave face, and he's got a few more things to say first.
“You know, you’ll think this is weak or whatever, but I checked in on you and mum over the years. Neither of you could see me, and I never stuck around long, but I wanted—no, I needed to see. If I was the only one you beat, if you’d turn to mum now that I was gone. If you felt any remorse when I died. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I’d seen you raise your hand to her. Probably taken up Edwin here’s offer to haunt the shit out of you.”
“I never—“
“Not in those words, love, I know, I know. But you meant it like that and you know it. Anyway, thankfully I never saw it. And she didn’t cower like I did, or hide any bruises, so I figured you were safe there. As for remorse, well, never really saw that either. I was bitter and angry those first few years over that. Thankfully Edwin here kept me busy. And now I can’t really be arsed, especially now that you’re dying and I can’t find much remorse either. Angry it took you so long, maybe.”
Charles once again looked at his mother, at the tears on her cheeks and her face turned in silent prayer.
“Even if you never beat her, I still wish you’d given her more time without you. Did you ever visit her family? You shot it down every time she even hinted at it when I was alive. And she’d smile and move on like it didn’t hurt her to hear that the man she married hated her family that much. You know, I used to promise her that I would take her to see them again. I’d tell her that once I was grown up we’d run away and live in India where you wouldn’t care enough to chase after us. She’d swat me for that. Disrespecting you. It always came back to you. Which is just how you wanted it, right? The whole world revolving around you? So fucking glad I got out of there. I shouldn’t have had to die for that, but whatever. It let me live free of you. And soon enough I won’t have to worry about you at all.”
Shoes squeaked obnoxiously right outside the door. Charles glanced up just in time to see Niko giving him a thumbs up as Crystal pulled her away from the glass. Turning back, he was glad to see his mother hadn’t turned away from her husband. No need to confuse her or get the girls in trouble.
Charles sighed and turned back to his father, “Not really sure what else to say here. Edwin? Any ideas?”
Edwin thankfully took the playful question as seriously as Charles meant it, “Hmm. You could tell him about hell if you’d like to be especially vindictive. Or take the moral high ground and forgive him for all he did to you. Crystal and I would also be happy to curse him for all he did if you’d like. Literally or figuratively.”
Charles genuinely laughed at how his father’s eyes widened, “While that sounds tempting, he’s already on his way out. All we’d do is freak out my mum.”
Edwin gave him a soft smile, “Of course. Just a suggestion.”
He returned the smile and squeezed his hand in thanks before turning back to his father, “Right. Well dad, I’m glad I caught you before Death did. I won’t speak to hell or anything, don’t want to jinx it, but I hope you get what you deserve. I’m not going to stick around to find out. And I won’t forgive you, either. You were a right bastard and I still struggle with getting you out of my head even after literally dying. So you don’t deserve my forgiveness, honestly. I’ll keep an eye on mum, but that’s for her and my sake, not for yours. Probably won’t go to your funeral or any of that, either. I’ll be a little mad if they bury you next to me, but those are just bones by now so I guess it doesn’t really matter. Yeah. I think that’s it. No forgiveness, no love, just hope you get what you deserve and that I never have to see you again. That about sums it up.”
Edwin squeezed his hand again, drawing his attention, and speaking softly, “Does that mean you’d like to go? We can wait if you want to be sure.”
Charles once again felt overwhelmed with it all, particularly with how lucky he was to have Edwin. He didn’t want to start crying here, so he just nodded and pulled Edwin with him out of the room.
“How’d it go?” Crystal asked from her seat in the hall chair, Niko nodding next to her.
“He’s dying alright. Gave him a piece of my mind. But I’m ready to never think about him again, honestly.” Charles tried to make light of it, but it was clear none of them bought it. He blinked up towards the ceiling to keep the tears away just a bit longer.
“Once we get back to the apartment, expect plenty of hugs from us.” Niko informed him, eyes glancing down the hall at the others down the way.
Charles smiled, “Noted. Sorry to make you come all the way out here, guys.”
“Nope, none of that—“ Crystal started, but was cut off by nurses suddenly rushing towards the room, obvious some alarm or something had been pulled. The girls stood in a rush to get out of the way.
“We’ll see you back at the apartment!” Niko called back to the boys as they took their leave.
Edwin held his arm out, the way he did when he wanted Charles to feel especially cherished, “Shall we?”
Charles turned very purposefully away from the door and took the offered arm with a thankful smile. He would need to have a proper cry and rant and rave about all of this later, he was sure. He’d come to learn that all those complicated emotions don’t just go away when you ignore them. But, for now, he was happy to hold onto his partner and get the bloody hell out of this hospital.
~
EDIT: now with part 2 !!
#dbda fanfic#dbda ficlet#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#charles rowland#Charles rowland centric#Charles rowland’s parents#edwin payne#edwin paine#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#Niko sasaki#payneland#paineland#palasaki#everyone lives#several years post show#I would usually cw death but like#the whole show is about ghosts#so#cw canonical discussions of abuse#Charles’s father is a dick#which is also canon#not sure how else to tag this but hopefully it finds the right people#I may write a part two with his mother’s passing#that’s actually what I wanted to write today but then this happened#I’m a big proponent of women outliving their shitty husbands#so Charles’s mom gets some of that#dbda
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design for a techno lanyard keychain i was working on
#i hope it turns out right#im especially worried about the pig accompanying him#i want to make a philza one too but#the problem is the minimum quantity amount so im left with a few extras#im thinking of selling the rest but im not comfortable making profit off of techno? if that makes sense?#maybe like 50% going to the sacroma foundation#i wouldnt mind making it 100% if it was only for the first two but buying custom charms esp lanyard ones really tank my wallet#h we'll see#im sure finding like 2-4 people interested in buying wont be too difficult? hopefully?#thats if i didnt mess anything up and they turn out alright. lmao..#mcyt#dsmp#technoblade#my art
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CIRCLE SQUARE TRIANGLE CONE CYLINDER PYRAMID CUBE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#destiny 2#my posts#this encounter is so much for so many people to learn at once aaaaaa#we are taking a break right now just waiting for it to click for us#like i'm sure once i've done the raid a couple times i'll look back at this and laugh#but right now i am not laughing#we are so close though hopefully the break will set us right#just trying to find what works best for this particular group i'm playing with#while also learning the encounter in the first place#oof#we are at the stage of practice makes perfect#and working on our comms#i can see why this encounter took the longest to figure out though
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Don't know how to answer people when they ask you a question? Get quiet or stressed because you kind of don't want to answer but you also can't explain why, lest you start to answer? Getting called secretive because you Just Don't Respond??
Might I introduce you... To The Cards!!!!
#Sheldon Cooper#tagging him for the normal tagging reasons but also bc I know he's Not Super Liked in the autism community#also no I don't have autism so I'm not gonna tag that i just got Other Stuff going on#Sheldon is a big kin for me / used(????? I GUESS???) to be an alter. so like. its fine.#not that i need to explain myself but also this is the vent blog so I can do what I want lmao#communication cards#idrk what to tag this bc i want people to see but idk who would benifit#bc this isn't really a DID thing either#shrug emoji#hopefully this will find the right people through sheer force of will
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She would’ve expected the softness to have been beaten out of him by everything that had happened. She knew it would have been beaten out of her, if she were in his shoes. In some ways, he had hardened up. He was harsher, colder, more pragmatic. It fit him, made him seem more mature as a sect leader. And yet, by some strange miracle, she was allowed to see beyond the facade of Jiang Wanyin, sect leader. Hidden beneath those hard layers was a boy that still cared with such an intensity it would someday tear him apart. For reasons she could not fathom, he shed that shell around her, and trusted her with the soft interior. She did not feel like she should be trusted with this vulnerable core of his person, but to explain why would be to change everything, so she took the vulnerability he handed her and did her best not to shake.
I've finally finished the Golden Core reveal part of my chengqing fake marriage au! this fic ended up way longer than I planned because I enjoyed writing Wen Qing's POV too much. oops.
#the untamed#mdzs#wen qing#jiang cheng#chengqing#my writing#featuring appearances from wei wuxian jiang yanli and wen ning#siblings gang.#had to walk the delicate balance between sharp and sweet throughout a lot of this#because jc and wq are both deeply caring people who hide it behind a sharp exterior#and it's especially complicated with chengqing stuff#bc jiang cheng softens a lot around her#so it's hard to find the exact balance between him being prickly and angry#and him being kind and polite around her#bc she brings out that side of him#but his first instinct when encountering an Emotion is usually to be Angry about it#it's tricky! hopefully I got it right
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i might end up regretting this but reblog for a bigger sample size?
#kai rambles#i just find it real weird like ive never refered to a pm as prime minister cameron or prime minister sunak#i refer to them either by their full name if speaking more formally#but normally i call them by their first names lile dave or rishi or boris#donald trump#usamerica#polls#tumblr polls#i am shaking a monkeys paw right now and im very aware of that fact#hopefully this one is seen by at most 100 people and not over 100000 people like my last poll
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cw/tw. gif(s), child neglect, depiction of starvation & frostbite, suicidal thoughts
꧁
𝐆��𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈
Candour of Light and Shadows
Quest Started
I still think
Some people were born a shadow.
"ーHappy birthday, sweetheart!"
"Thanks, mama!"
"May Lady Tsaritsa bless my little snowflake so he grows up big and healthy... And may She protect you from all dangers and surround you with love and happiness!"
"..... Mama, what about-"
"Hold on, darling."
Every year, instead of burning candles, I burn the memories of you.
Every year, instead of huddling in front of a warm fireplace, I relive the memories of the icy grave you call home.
Every year....
I wonder.
Why didn't you just di̴̖̊ë̷̻͙́̒̿̆ that day?
Why did the gods pity you when your own blood couldn't care less?
Why you? Why me? Why us?
I dare not defy the fate bestowed upon me. This is the role we were bestowed with. The second option. The second best. The supporting role.
The shadow.
....
But maybe....
........
Just... maybe.
.............
Maybe all this time, I've been tricking myself, thinking I was undeserving. Of the spotlight. Of the warm fireplace. Of..... a home.
“....”
“Wha....?”
“Happy birthday, Cov!!”
“My my, did we catch you off-guard so much you were about to unsheathe your sword?”
“Ah... I'm..... sorry.......”
“It's fine, it's fine. More importantly, do you like chocolate cakes? I had no idea what kind of cake you'd like but since you love hot chocolate and cookies, I thought you'd like themー”
“......”
“Cov?”
“...........”
“Thank you.”
Maybe one day, I'll be able to feel truly worthy of this.
......
I guess…. Just for today, I can be the light.
𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞
Candour of Light and Shadows
Quest Completed
[ To be continued(?) ]
#rin's adopted children: coviello#rin's queue is serving tea#happy birthday my child my baby my traumatized pookie with trust issues#i somehow managed to finish this an hour before their birthday here#and i already said it on their last story quest but#it still baffles me that they're well liked. i love them (/p) dearly and i'm glad people find them interesting enough-#-to care about. idk. it just. i don't think i'll ever not feel awed about this#thank you always for the love and support to this character#more of them coming soon. maybe. mayhaps even more than them. maybe they'll get a brother and a sister soon#ps. i am swamped with stuff and has no energy right now. please know i'm not ignoring asks and messages but i'm just directing-#-the little energy i have to more important/urgent things. i'll be fine. will be back soon. hopefully.
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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Lost Causes (read here on ao3)
There were certain things you couldn’t have as a werewolf, and one of them was a lack of body hair.
Or, Angua shaves, Carrot is Carrot, and the two of them like each other very much.
(1.3k words of domestic fluff <3)
#discworld#terry pratchett#carrot/angua#night watch#idk ship names 😔 but the ao3 tag is lowkey up and banging so hopefully this finds the right people#i just think we should've gotten more scenes of them being cute and a couple together. is all im saying. terry. if your ghost even cares.#(that's a joke i pray to the shrine of terry pratchett nightly)#ella writes#was that my writing tag? i can't remember
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help somebody who is more well-versed in fiction podcasts than me: i listened to the first episode of this podcast a couple months ago and i'm trying to find it because it's too obscure to google and i forgot the name. it was about this teenage girl who was running a gossip column in like a school newspaper i think? and then it got shut down so she made it into a radio show. the podcast is like her doing the radio show and talking about gossip and just random things in the town
#tagging this with podcasts that i know so that hopefully the right people will find it#camp here and there#chnt#smile grove#midnight burger#wtnv#tma#i'm sorry for putting this in those tags but i need this podcast back so bad.#you understand
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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it kinda drives me crazy when people say they don’t read cause they don’t have the attention span like. i understand to a point but i also really do believe reading is good for your brain and part of why people have such trouble with their attention spans is because they don’t read
#i understand it can be hard to get into reading#but i truly do believe it’s a matter of finding the right book in the right genre for you#and just kinda forcing yourself to read even if it’s hard#like set a timer for 30 minutes and just. do your best. and the more you do it the easier it’ll become#that’s what i had to do when i wanted to get back into reading#i hope that doesn’t sound pretentious or anything#and i get some people just don’t like reading plain and simple and that’s fine!#but it makes me sad when people are like oh i wish i could read but i don’t have the attention span blah blah#it’s really something you have to work on….like it’s hard but it can be done and imo it’s worth it#anyways#this is just what i think. hopefully i don’t sound like an asshole but#reading is good! i think everyone should give reading a fair and honest shot!#okay.#snow.txt
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i feel so bad for cover singers who like to do a lot of anime music because rn one of the biggest anime openings to cover is Idol by Yoasobi which is hard enough to keep up with, like even if you can hit all the notes correctly you still have to figure out how to sell the speak-singing bits and thats a whole nother ballpark like dear god have you HEARD the sheer personality thats oozing from every note like the enunciations and the lilts and the subtle vocal fry like right before the ruby aqua bit in the “aida” like LISTEN
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okay that was really tricky to cover but we made it. and now what if you really wanna get that SEO? what if you wanna do another cover, usually doing the ending song for a popular anime is fun too right? lets hope its not as difficult to sing at the opening- AND then you get hit with Mephisto by Queen Bee and you explode on impact
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#they really killed all the cover singers with this combo#with idol at least if you have a distinct enough voice and enough character you can have that carry you through parts of it#but covering like any queen bee song is like. are you ready. are you ready. are you prepared#a lot of people skip trying to sing mephisto. i understand. hard enough to keep up with the lead singer of yaosobi#another thing entirely to keep up with avu chan doing avu chan things all over the track <3#by the way listen to everything queen bee has every produced right NOW#like not just all the high bits jumping into the lower bits and then jumping into even higher bits but avu chans vocalizations#those vocallzations mans. the vibratos the vocal fries the parts where they go a little nasal the parts where they go really open#god. i cant imagine how hard itd be to try to sing a song like this#some brave cover singers have tried though! ive found quite a few good covers actually!#but i definitely understand why its not as popular of a cover song choice as idol fhdjfskdjhkfd#did i ever make a tag for my musicposting#musicposting#hopefully thats my tag. i should musicpost more i always find it fun HJKFDJFD#anyway. listen to mephisto by queen bee right now. also listen to half and king bitch and of course fire and every song theyve made#PRIDE......LISTEN TO PRIDE......hey boys.... hey girls.... hey baBIES......listen to pride by queen bee right this instant#its still pride month for the next 30 seconds where i live listen to pride by queen bee right now
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gonna be real embarrassing when nobody votes but here we go...
#jey uso fic#jey uso#shan shouts into the void#would tag my wrestling moots but i dont wanna be annoying#so hopefully this will find the right people
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moots… does anyone… does anyone want to make a twst oc dorm/school with me 😣😣
#… no maintags the right people will find this#(Hopefully)#idk#😭😭😭#☕️!- clove speaks#like Martha speaks
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