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icallhimjoey · 2 years

Text

Only Now

♥ ♥ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eddie needs Hawkins, needs his old friends, needs you to ground him every couple of months. And so he visits for a few days in the middle of December and lets all of you pretend you're momentarily back in '88, and it's beautiful, but it hurts. A lot.

Author’s note: Christmas came early @joejoequinnquinn! Surprise! This one's just for you as part of @quinnyfairy's Secret Santa Project; my very first (and maybe last, idk) Eddie fic ever. Hope you enjoy!!

CW / disclaimer: 18+, angsty, swearing (lots), drinking, little smutty sort of, reader celebrates Christmas (some form of it anyway) and also my very first time writing for Eddie so please bear with!

Wordcount: 9.5K

(find all other parts of this story here) God, how you wished you could slow down time. You wanted longer minutes, longer hours. Slower ticking clocks. Maybe even freeze time all together, just so you could relish his company for longer. It felt like the minutes were slipping by in record time and sleeping through them only sped them up even more. So, you laid awake instead, and mentally willed the stretch between each tick of your clock to lengthen as you stared at Eddie next to you.

You were trying to stay quiet. Not let Eddie hear you cry, because you knew if he did, he’d shake his sleep off of him and wouldn’t be able to get back to it. It was only quarter past two, which was far too many hours ‘til morning still, and Eddie needed his sleep. This was likely the last night he'd sleep in an actual bed; for the next few weeks it'd be bunkbeds on buses and couches in dressing rooms.

He looked so soft with his hair braided up and out of his face, still wet from when he’d let you wash it hours earlier. How could you not cry at the sheer sight of him? He’d never let anyone else see him like this, you knew it to be true, and those soft noises he made? The grunts, mumbles and groans his sleep let escape him? Just for you, you were convinced.

You felt a fresh tear roll over the bridge of your nose, and there was no point in wiping it away. You knew it would find your pillow or your covers to disappear into. This was exactly what Steve had warned you about, countless times. He’d said he wouldn’t allow you to slip back and do this all over again, not after the last time, but when Eddie arrived three days ago, you’d seen Steve struggle with the same inner battle. He’d missed Eddie just as much and just as easily would let himself transport back to ’87, ’88.

“He’s here!” Steve had gotten up from the picnic table you’d both been sat on outside of your apartment building as you’d waited for Eddie. Butts perched up on the tabletop, feet on the wooden bench below you, up and away from the cold ground below it, you’d been chatting, and Steve had tried to talk some sense into you before Eddie’s taxi had pulled up.

“I know you think he needs it, but ultimately, you know you shouldn’t let him,” Steve had said, placing blame with you. You shouldn’t let him. Not, Eddie shouldn’t do this.

“I know,” you agreed, but you were the one thinking all your thoughts, feeling all your feelings. Not Steve. You knew very well that you shouldn’t let Eddie come into your world and pretend you were still twenty and fresh-faced for a few days before he’d fuck off and leave you again. But what was the alternative? Have none of Eddie at all? That option seemed much worse.

“I know you know, but it’d be great if you made smart choices. Smarter choices.” Steve referenced the last time Eddie had been in town. He had visited Hawkins for six days last May, and for weeks afterwards, Steve had been busy picking up the pieces of you that you didn’t seem to be able to hold onto yourself. He had to put real effort in to put you back together, slowly but surely, until you felt like a human being again.

Steve was a good friend. It was because Steve also missed Eddie a lot, so he understood on another level, but it also meant he let his mind get cloudy when Eddie was around. Neither of you were part of Eddie’s life anymore, not like you were before he’d left, and neither of you liked that. The three of you had almost joined at the hip, and whenever Steve would hang out with Robin, you and Eddie would play house. Eddie was your not-boyfriend, and you were his not-girlfriend. For all intends and purposes, you were absolutely dating each other. But if someone asked if Eddie was your boyfriend, or if you were his girlfriend, you’d always say no. No. You were just friends. Except you weren’t. But you were.

Now, you were pieces of the puzzle of Hawkins to him, the place he would come back to every couple of months when he’d find the time in between tours. Eddie needed the place to ground himself, to feel like the person he felt he still was on the inside. He would keep that Eddie in his own pocket, but he would always lose that version of himself on stage after doing a few shows. He wouldn’t realise he’d gone missing until he’d smash another TV in a hotel room with strangers who pretended to be his friends, and girls who were only there because he was the Eddie Munson, front man to famous metal band Corroded Coffin. That’s when he’d call Wayne and he would tell him to let everyone know he’d be coming down soon. Make sure Hawkins was ready for him. Lay the red carpets out. And Wayne would chuckle, and then he’d just tell the two of you.

"Munson!" Steve called out as he walked towards the taxi that Eddie had just opened the door of, his arms already opening.

"Harrington!" Eddie called back in the same tone once he stepped out and saw Steve.

Eddie looked absolutely horrible. Like he hadn't stopped continuously drinking and hadn't slept for days. But he smiled, and when Steve jumped him, he hugged him back with strong arms and patting hands.

"Jesus, you smell like the floor of a dive bar," Steve said, and it made Eddie throw his head back with laughter.

They broke into a playful scuffle, half wrestling, half still hugging, poking fingers at each other like teenage boys who didn't know how else to express affection. Their grunting and laughing reached your ears and made you smile. You stayed put, sat on your hands on the picnic table still, not wanting to intrude on their moment together, until Eddie caught your eye over Steve's shoulder.

"You," Eddie pointed, and you saw the glint in his eyes change. Eddie looked at you different, and it made the words Steve had tried so hard to imprint onto you immediately disappear. Eddie was here. And he was looking at you.

"Get your ass over here," Eddie beckoned with wild arms as he started walking towards you himself, leaving Steve to take Eddie's duffle bag from the taxi driver.

You pushed yourself from the bench, and took small steps, but stopped when Eddie started running and looked at you the same way he had looked at Steve when he'd started wrestling him. Full puppy dog energy. You let him crash into you, lift you from your feet and swing you around, legs flailing and voice squealing. Steve was right. Eddie smelled like he'd washed his hair with beer a couple days ago and hadn't touched it since.

"Missed you," Eddie spoke into your hair before planting a kiss there and putting you down. Missed you more, you thought, but couldn't say it. You took a minute to look at him, still in his grip. Eddie looked older, like he had aged twice as fast as you had. There were more lines on his face and his eyes sat a little deeper. His hair lacked shine and his scruff eyed unruly. You wondered how long ago it was since Eddie had eaten a vegetable.

"How long are you staying for?" you asked before saying anything else. Please stay for Christmas, you thought. Please.

"Just a few days," Eddie said, and it pained you that he said it like it was good news. Like he couldn't actually wait to get out of here again. Like that didn't absolutely wreck you.

"Let's head inside, it's fucking freezing," Steve walked past you and broke your moment with Eddie, slinging a protective arm around your shoulder, ensuring that you fell into step together as you made your way inside. You feared you'd shown too much in your face. Things that Steve had definitely spotted, but somehow, Eddie hadn't.

You headed up to Steve's apartment together, Steve decided. In the elevator, Steve pressed the button for his floor, not yours, and the second of quick eye contact between the two of you said enough. Once inside, Eddie immediately asked if it was okay for him to take a quick shower. You know, because he'd been traveling so long, Eddie said. Not because the stench of alcohol really had almost become too overwhelming in the small space of the elevator, and Eddie realised just then how clean and healthy you and Steve looked compared to him, all flushed cheeks, bright eyes, and plump skin.

When Eddie locked the door behind him, you caught your reflection in Steve's hallway mirror and immediately regained your composure; you stood up straight, pulled your shoulders back and relaxed your brow. Eddie was here. You were going to have fun together. Even if it was just for a few days. Maybe even more so because of it, because now it was extra important to make every second count.

"You okay?" Steve saw. You smiled and said you were. Eddie was here now. You did a good job pushing all sadness aside and told it to not pop back up until later. Sometime after Christmas maybe. You could deal with it then. Steve accepted your smile, happy to see you still had it ready for him, but he worried about you anyway.

"Where is he?"

It was much later, and Robin used her spare key to let herself into Steve's apartment, not bothering to announce her arrival by ringing the doorbell, not willing to wait for someone else to let her in. You saw Eddie smile, mouth full of pizza still, as he immediately got up from where he was sat on the floor by the coffee table.

Robin walked in, hidden inside a heavy coat, under a wool beanie and wrapped up in a thick scarf. Whatever pieces of hair you could see were wet from the snow that had started coming down late afternoon and hadn't stopped since.

"Oh my God, it's famous rockstar Eddie Munson!" Robin shrieked and bounced as Eddie leant in to hug her tight. He lifted her up, just like he'd done with you, except Robin didn't get any spins or whispers placed into her hair. "Steve!" she called over Eddie's shoulder. "You've got someone famous in your home!"

"All right," Eddie laughed bashfully, "It's just the town's freak today, I’m afraid."

"Yea, a freak who apparently is now friends with Alanis Morissette?! What the fuck, Eddie?" Robin punched Eddie in the arm.

"I've met her once," Eddie argued as he sat back down, looking at you and rolling his eyes. It was aimed at Robin, but he made sure she couldn't see, and you giggled together.

You spent the evening chatting, eating, and drinking. Drinks that Eddie turned down with a swift, "Nah, I'm good, thanks," and you wondered if he didn't touch a single drop just because Steve had made that comment about his scent earlier.

Robin was her chaotic cheerful self and couldn't stop asking Eddie questions. It meant you got to sit back and listen, bask in the company of your friends. As the hours passed, you turned more into the people you once were, and you couldn't help but love every second of it. Steve started using pet names he hadn't used in ages. Robin made sarcastic jokes at the expense of others so skillfully, no one minded them at all. Eddie grew more theatrical in the way you knew him to be, silly, loud, enthusiastic, and stupid, just the way you liked him most. The second you'd stop giggling, someone would do or say something that would get you reared right back up again, and you'd all join in, smug faces with dumb smiles. You weren't sure if you also became more of the girl you once were, or what that even looked like, but you were having fun, and that was all that mattered.

"Where are you staying?" Robin asked Eddie, like she didn't already know. Maybe she didn't, you thought for a second, because why else would she even bring it up? Maybe it was just polite conversation as she started getting ready to go home and brace the cold once more.

"I think–" Eddie squeezed his eyes shut for a second, before cocking his head your way. "–there's a very comfortable couch made up somewhere in this building for me," Eddie smiled. You nodded because he was right. You had fashioned your couch into a comfortable guest bed, but all four of you knew that there wasn't a chance Eddie was going to use it. There was no reason for you to have gotten the extra pillows, duvets, and sheets out, but you had done it anyway. If not to fool anyone else, then at least to fool yourself.

And fool yourself you did. But only for a minute.

"I've got extra blankets here if you need them. Another pillow too, if that one's too firm," you gestured at a closet as Eddie dropped his duffle bag onto your made-up couch. He looked around a second. You'd made the couch look very cosy, and Eddie almost pouted at the effort you'd put in. But then he looked towards the hallway, and without saying anything, let his feet follow his gaze. He just walked right out. You heard him flip the light switch in your bedroom, followed by the soft sound of a thud to your mattress, and then a heavy blissful sigh.

You knew you shouldn't. But you also knew you absolutely would.

Without putting up a fight, without even trying to pretend this wasn’t what you wanted, you got into bed with Eddie and let him pull you close. Eddie hugged you, face to face, and you hugged him back, clinging. Almost as if a hunger inside you that hadn't been stilled in months finally found its satisfaction. All your senses were being fed with all things Eddie, and you reveled in his embrace. Eddie felt strong, but somehow frail too, which was a little troubling. And he smelled like Steve's shampoo, which was a lot troubling. But he was warm, and you were held. It was so very welcoming. So needed. You hugged each other like you used to do all the time, and you nuzzled into him, your nose pressing firmly into his neck. Something in your chest slotted into place, and it felt right.

"Why are you sad?" Eddie asked after a few beats of silence. It was earnest and sober. A question he'd never ask you if you weren't alone together. In the dark, together.

You hated that he'd seen it within you. But how could he not have?

"I'm not," you whispered, and Eddie didn't believe you, but pulled you closer in response. "Go to sleep, you look like you need it," you didn't want to talk anymore. One of Eddie's hands searched to find one of yours to grab onto. To squeeze. And he would've kissed you if he hadn't been so tired.

"Is it the memories?" Eddie asked the darkness that surrounded you, revealing he still knew you better than you knew yourself. Memories had their way of rearing up and sinking their teeth into your present, and you hadn't yet figured out how to not let them hurt you.

Just to put the matter to rest, and because you didn't want to lie to Eddie, you agreed. "It's the memories."

Eddie moved a little before you felt and heard a kiss close to your ear. "I'm here." And he was.

The next morning you woke up being the small spoon to Eddie's big spoon. Eddie had himself wrapped all around you, a leg slung over you up so high, its thigh covered your hip. His nose pressed into your neck where his lips were fluttering soft kisses that tickled you awake slowly. It was the best wake up call you'd gotten in a while, and you pretended you were still asleep, just so the moment would last you longer.

You wanted to take whatever you could get, knowing you would only be able to have it for a short amount of time. It would absolutely ruin you the next time you'd wake up in your bed alone, but you were too greedy for it now not to bask in it. Swim in it forever. Let it bubble around you, like in a hot tub.

Eddie let a hand roam underneath your shirt. They were slow, soft fingers, cool against your skin, but the stroke of them gratifying. Instead of going for a squeeze - which you were totally expecting, you knew Eddie - he pressed his flat palm right in the middle of your chest, catching cleavage, but mostly monitoring your heart rate.

He curled around you more, tightened his arms and pulled you in closer, using the hand over your heart to push you into him. You let him do whatever he wanted, and tried to control your breathing as best you could. He then found a spot on your neck to lick, and just like Eddie predicted, it made your heart beat faster instantly. He knew you were awake.

"Good morning," Eddie's voice vibrated impossibly low and sensual, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

Eddie tilted his hips and your breathe caught and shattered. You could feel him press up against you, impossibly hard for you, and it made you want to push back into him more. You didn't move, though, and instead kept your eyes closed and your hands in place. You knew what would happen if you did push back into him; if you did let your hands wander where they were itching to go.

You took a deep breath to shake it off and you felt Eddie do the same. With his face nuzzled into your neck still, Eddie was inhaling you, and you felt him rock his hips into you once more.

You couldn't. Not yet, anyway. Because Steve was in your mind still, with important words of advice you promised you'd guard yourself with when it would eventually come down to this.

Eddie sensed your apprehension and stopped, halting everything he was doing. His hand immediately slipped from your top and his leg moved down yours a little which freed you from the death grip he'd had on you. His common sense returned too abruptly for your liking, though, and you whined at your sudden loss of him. Eddie immediately regretted the severe, quick change in his demeanor. To make it up to you, he lifted himself over you far enough to press a warm, sweet kiss onto your cheek.

"Did you sleep OK?" Eddie sounded much more awake this time.

It was a good thing Eddie got up and out of bed. Every minute you spent in Eddie's arms like that, only made you want it more. He didn't necessarily need to climb out on your side of the bed, though, but the way he had rolled over you, pushing you down into the mattress as roughly as he could whilst muttering, "oh, sorry, just sneaking past, excuse me, sorry," injected humor into your morning together.

It was only a few hours later that you were absolutely freezing your tits off, watching Eddie and Dustin who were quite literally frollicking in the park. It didn't matter how old they were, or how old they'd ever be; these boys would lay their eyes upon each other, and energy would just shoot into their legs. They were running, shouting at each other and laughing loudly. After five minutes of flinging powdery snow and trying to make one another topple over to get a full face of it, you saw the beginnings of little snowballs that they then started rolling into bigger ones.

It was so cold. You had your gloved hands tucked deeply into the pockets of your coat, your chin dipped into your scarf and your face displayed a permanent grimace as it dealt with the biting breeze it couldn't escape.

"Are they... are they seriously going to build a snowman?"

Mike stood next to you, same grimace displayed on his face, shivering even more than you were. He was still just as lanky as he'd been in high school. Tall, thin, unproportionally long limbs and barely any bodyfat at all. Mike wasn't built to keep himself even slightly warm in cold winters like this one. He was too cool for school, too. Too cool to join Dustin and Eddie in their play, so he watched them from the sidelines, just like you did.

"Do you want to go get a coffee?" you asked Mike, turning your full body instead of just your face to look at him, desperate for some warmth and for some caffeine.

"Guys!" Mike called over. "Wanna go grab a coffee?"

You smiled a small smile to yourself. You would've absolutely left Eddie and Dustin for a moment to get a coffee alone with Mike, but Mike clearly didn't think walking off with only you was even an option. It was all right. You and Mike weren't friends. You understood if Mike thought it'd be awkward.

Neither Eddie nor Dustin reacted to Mike's question. They were too busy making sure their ball of snow didn't collapse in on itself. You saw some of Eddie's wet hair strands stick to his face, mouth open as he breathed heavily, letting Dustin tell him how to use his hands in swiping motions to get the shape right. Both of their jeans had big wet patches at the knees and you wondered how cold and uncomfortable they were going to be for the rest of the day. Mike let a weird, sort of judgmental laugh escape his throat before he shook his head. You grinned at Mike. Where Dustin was so openly a fan of Eddie, Mike quietly tried to hide his - to you - obvious admiration for Eddie. You guessed Mike was secretly way more impressed with him than he let on, and desperately wanted to impress Eddie himself too. Dustin was the guy who would unashamedly pin a poster of Eddie up onto his wall, happily displaying that he was friends with Eddie Munson and was so very proud of him. Mike was the guy who thought that putting up posters was definitely not cool, but instead would try to casually name drop Eddie any time he could.

"Well," Mike said. "At least they're having fun," and it didn't sound like a comment Mike would make, but more like he thought it was a good thing to say in the moment. To fill the silence he didn't know how else to fill. And in a desperate attempt to keep conversation with you going, Mike's mind came up with a question he asked before his brain had even thought of what your reaction to it could be.

"What's it like having your boyfriend back?" Mike asked, and you felt your chest tighten, but were incredibly quick to respond. It was like you'd kept the answer ready in your mouth, because you anticipated someone saying something along the lines of what Mike just said.

"Eddie's not my boyfriend."

You'd said the same thing so many times in your teens that you instantly felt transported back in time a bit. You always fully believed yourself when you said that you and Eddie weren't dating, wholly trusted that you were speaking the truth. But it also always hurt you. It was a sentence that scratched at your insides with long, sharp nails that could puncture your flesh if you weren't careful.

"Ex-boyfriend, sorry," Mike corrected himself like he knew what he was talking about.

"Not that either."

You wondered if Mike thought it had been weird when you and Eddie had walked up holding hands, especially if he also thought that you used to date a long time ago. What kind of ex-lovers held hands still?

You hid yourself into your shoulders a bit more and felt how you had lost complete feeling in your toes. Mike frowned at you in confusion. He'd been around you when you were younger. He looked up to Eddie then, and still did now, and where ever Eddie was, you would be too. Robin would shout inappropriate jokes about you in public places all the time. Mike remembered how Eddie had ran after you once, just to squeeze your ass with both his hands, and you'd just turned around and smiled at him. You had let Eddie stop you, even though you were late for something already, and Mike had heard how Robin softly said to Steve that you were definitely fucking each other, which had made Steve scoff loudly. "No, they're not!" Steve had exclaimed. But then they all saw how you looped fingers through a belt hoop on Eddie's jeans to pull him closer into you, and Robin had given Steve a look that said, see? And Steve had stared for a moment before stuttering, "Oh, so, maybe they are...".

"We've never dated," you stated, sensing Mike's confusion with your eyes back on Dustin and Eddie who had now seemingly found themselves in a snowball fight. Dustin hid behind what was starting to look like a snowman, but seemed abandoned now. They wouldn't finish it, you knew it, and that was okay, because numbness was starting to creep up your ankles and you really wanted coffee.

"Eddie!" you called. You saw him freeze and perk up to look at you, like a startled meerkat, big brown eyes locked right onto you and awaited what you were going to say next.

"Coffee!" you beckoned him with your whole upper body, unwilling to take your hands from your pockets, and Eddie came running immediately, under loud protest of Dustin and Mike. Because Dustin didn't want coffee. And Mike was so annoyed that Eddie hadn't listened to him when he called them over earlier.

You started walking and your numb feet felt weird in your shoes, but the movement in your legs was very welcoming. You fell into step with Mike and let Eddie and Dustin catch up with you. When Eddie got close, all wet hair and wild eyes, he latched onto your back and let out a shaking breath as he shivered up against you. He tried to sneak his hands into your pockets alongside yours, shoving them in, bunching up the sleeves of his coat as he did, and finding warmth there. He squeezed your hands through your gloves, and then you walked together like that, like that didn't make you love Eddie more than you already did.

"You can hold Mike," Eddie smiled when you felt Dustin's peering eyes burning holes into the two of you, and a short silence followed before Mike took off running. "Come here, Mike! Cuddle me!" Dustin shouted, as he chased after him and Eddie took the moment to sneak a kiss onto your temple as you laughed and let it fill your chest with pure love for him. Eddie was here.

That evening, you met Steve outside Wayne's trailer before all three of you headed in and enjoyed Wayne's cooking together. The trailer hadn't changed much – some obvious things were different, of course. There was no more fold-up bed in the corner of the living room. It wasn't as messy without all Eddie's things slung about. And it also wasn't as smelly inside – Eddie was never allowed to smoke indoors, but Wayne made long hours, and rules never really stopped Eddie. It was good that the trailer felt different, you thought. It made it feel less like you were a teenager still. Less like you'd traveled back in time.

You sat together, and ate Wayne's homemade meatloaf. "It's the only thing I can make that's decent enough," Wayne undersold his signature dish, like he always did. "Please tell me you have more that I can take with me," Eddie said through a mouthful, and with every bite he took, you thought Eddie looked better. Healthier, with more colour to his cheeks and more life in his eyes.

You ate until you couldn't anymore, you reminisced and you laughed. You didn't think you'd ever seen Wayne laugh the way he did when he told the story of how he once caught Steve sneaking out, trying to climb out of a window unsuccessfully, high as a kite, whilst the door right next to the window was wide open. Wayne laughed so hard, it squeezed tears from his eyes and he could barely make it through the story.

You saw Eddie lean back in his chair, his grin wide, love swelling his chest and flaring his ribcage as he looked at his uncle. He almost looked drunk with love and admiration, and for a second you thought Eddie had just invited you over for dinner at Wayne's because he knew that Wayne loved traveling back in time just as much as he did.

You all helped clean up before Wayne had to leave for his shift at work, and just before he walked out the door, Wayne spoke to you like you were all 16 and about to stay the night over at Eddie's.

"You let your parents know you're here?"

You and Steve looked at each other with stupid smiles, and then both nodded. "Yes, Mr Munson."

"There's pop in the fridge, and there's microwave popcorn, but don't let Eddie touch it, or he'll burn the place down."

There was still a black scorch mark in the kitchen from when Eddie had literally nearly burned the place down. All of your eyes found it, and you saw Eddie grin with a little guilt hidden underneath. It was nice to be at an age where you could joke about things Wayne had been so angry about at the time that they had happened, you could feel it bubble in your stomach and saw Steve almost burst from the strain of barely withheld laughter.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," these were words meant just for you, because Wayne knew they were rendered useless on Eddie and on Steve.

"And boys, look after her." and those were words meant just for Steve and for Eddie, because Wayne knew your parents and he always worried what they thought of you being over in his trailer without adult supervision.

"We will." Steve and Eddie spoke in unison, their tones entirely different from each other. Wayne smiled the smallest of smiles, having greatly enjoyed stepping back into the little routine, and left the three of you alone.

"Movie?" Steve then asked. "For old time's sake?"

And it was so stupid. Because sat on the couch together, it felt like nothing had changed in over ten years. You stared at Wayne's little old shitty TV that he still had, "Still works fine, don't need to replace things that aren't broken," and you picked a movie from a stack of tapes that still held exactly the same titles it did ten years ago. No new additions, everything the same, just labels more faded. You'd sat down in a corner of the couch and pulled your legs up, only for Eddie and Steve to immediately protest.

"I'm not middle-seating it,"

"Move,"

And so you were pulled and pushed into the center of the couch, one boy either side of you, and you sat through a full movie, not paying attention to a single thing that happened in it. Because you were sat next to Eddie, and it was freezing outside, but Eddie was warm - he was all you could feel and all you could think about. And at one point, Eddie's hand that was resting over the back of the couch fell onto your shoulder. And when Steve wasn't looking, Eddie used it to pull you into him and you snuggled up. But then when Steve did look, he didn't even seem fazed. Didn't even mention it. Because this was what it had always been like, and Steve loved his friends all the same, whether they were touching each other, or not.

That's when you felt her take over; your teenage self. You were her, all open, unrestrained and naive in all the best ways. You sighed and sunk into yourself, because you'd missed her. And you knew that she would fight adult-you if you were to deny a kiss from Eddie. Because that was how these nights always ended, didn't they?

Except this night, it didn't, because you weren't actually your teenage self with endless pits of energy within you, and you'd had a long day. It didn't help that whatever you were watching didn't interest you at all, and Eddie's breathing was rhythmic and deep. The last thing you remembered was Eddie and Steve make soft conversation over you as you'd let your eyes close. They said things about the movie. There was small talk about Wayne. You tried to stay awake, hoped that maybe you'd catch them exchange words about you, but you drifted off faster than you could grasp in the moment.

You stirred awake when you felt someone pull you upright by your arms and then guided them to sling over their shoulders. Then there were arms that wrapped around your waist, and a soft restricted groan close to your ear as you got hoisted up off of the couch.

"Mmhm?" So tired.

"Come on, we're getting you into the car," Eddie whispered, and you heard Steve huff a tiny laugh through his nose.

You moved your legs to walk, because you absolutely could walk, but strong hands underneath your thighs held you up and in place. A coat got draped around you, over you, covering you as best it could.

"Tie my scarf," Eddie softly instructed Steve. "So it won't fall," and you felt how something tied around the back of your neck that pulled with Eddie's movement, and you imagined the woven wool tied the two of you together. When Steve opened the door, a cold gust of wind ruined every little bit comfortability and you tightened your koala-grip around Eddie.

"Steve started the car 5 minutes ago, it'll only be cold for a second."

The next morning you woke up on your couch with your face pressed into Eddie’s back. Your made-up couch, where Eddie had placed you down onto the cool sheets after insisting that he also carried you into your apartment when Steve had driven you all back to your building. You’d accepted every touch and every hold with your eyes closed and your limbs slack. Steve had whispered good night when you got out of the elevator at your floor, and Eddie had suggested you could have breakfast together the next day.

“Why are we on the couch?” your voice, thick with sleep, spoke into the dark morning.

You obviously remembered going to sleep on the couch, but only just now wondered why exactly Eddie hadn't taken you into the bedroom, where you'd probably both be much more comfortable, would have a lot more space.

“Couldn’t let it go to waste,” Eddie’s voice was gravelly, like he’d been screaming into a microphone on a stage all night, or like he had a really bad cold. "You made it look very nice."

You pressed your lips against Eddie’s shoulder blade over his T-shirt. It wasn't a kiss per se, but a nice place to just rest your mouth for a little bit. You inhaled Eddie, his scent unmistakably him and you felt him snuggle backwards a little into you more. Confusion struck. You knew this fabric. You smelled your own laundry detergent in the mix of all things Eddie and leant back to get a better look at what he was wearing.

“Are you… are you wearing your old hellfire club T-shirt?”

“Mmh, found it in your pajama drawer,”

Eddie had caught a glimpse his old T-shirt and hadn’t hesitated to put it on, dressing himself in nostalgia, knowing it would fill his cup all the way up to the brim. How could it not? He had just watched a film in the trailer with you and Steve. He had spent the day fucking around with Dustin and Mike. And now, wearing his old T-shirt to bed? This is exactly the type of shit he went to Hawkins for. The type of shit he needed. That grounded him. It pulled him off his pedestal and forced him into his authentic self.

After pulling the T-shirt over his head, he had slid onto the couch next to you, and made sure he positioned himself lower than you, pressing his head underneath your chin. Let you hold him. Made him feel smaller. Younger. Like his old, teenage self.

"Is today your last day?" you loved Eddie in his hellfire club T-shirt. It transformed him more into the Eddie that you knew, inside and out.

"Alive? I hope not," Eddie was quick witted, but you didn't appreciate the joke and stayed silent. Eddie picked up on it immediately.

"They're picking me up tomorrow, yea,"

Eddie said it too neutrally. No emotion or feeling behind his words. You wondered which end of the scale he was on; was he ready to get out of here, or did he maybe wish he could have a little more time? It was probably the former, you thought, and you let it hurt your chest, regretting even thinking about it in the first place. You tightened your hold on Eddie. Pressed your cheek into his back more. You needed to burrow; disappear into everything that was overwhelmingly Eddie for as long as he would let you.

"Do you want to get up?" Eddie asked after a while, his voice suddenly normal, no trace of sleep left at all.

"No," you muffled into his T-shirt, and you felt his body shake with silent laughter.

"Come here,"

You were already there, you thought, but Eddie started shifting to turn around and maneuvered you underneath the covers until you were practically on top of him. He hugged you tightly to his body and you laid like that for a while. Eddie would sometimes kiss your head, swirl his nose into your hair and you could feel how your breathing started syncing up. Like you locked together, somehow. They were blissful moments of nothingness, just the two of you, and you wished they could last forever. You tilted your head and looked up, and without permission or the right, Eddie stole the chance to press kisses to your cheek, creeping closer to your mouth with every single one he planted onto you. You felt yourself at the far end of a bridge, and with every millimeter Eddie got closer to your mouth, you could envision him take big steps across it. You held the power to halt him, make him stop somewhere midway, but he was running, and you really wanted him to crash into you.

Eddie kissed you. It was slow and lazy. It felt dangerously familiar in all the right ways and all the wrong ways at once. Morning kisses turned into morning making out and you felt flutters all throughout your lower stomach that you tried very hard to ignore. Until you couldn't anymore, and you caught yourself, smiled into your kiss and forced it to break.

"Eddie, I don't think..." you started, but breathed as you looked at his mouth. Words faltered you entirely, because Eddie's mouth was there, and it wanted to kiss you, and God, wasn't that exactly what you yearned for?

"I know," Eddie knew exactly what you meant, not needing to hear the words to understand them. "I know."

When you heard a key turn in your front door, Eddie and you were still wrapped up in sheets together. "Steve." Eddie warned, and you knew he was right, immediately shooting up from the couch and scurrying into the kitchen. You pretended you were making coffee when Steve stepped into your living room. Steve was dressed, but the bedhead on him revealed he'd not been awake long at all.

"Breakfast?"

You made toast, and you scrambled some eggs – even parted some oranges for Eddie and Steve. Breakfast was enjoyed mostly in silence, and it was comfortable, just the three of you chewing, sipping, occasionally yawning and stretching. You all shared tired eyes and eventually talked about your plans for the day. Steve said Robin had time to hang out, and Eddie said he wanted to be outside. Go for a walk. See Hawkins in the snow some more, because it looked so nice, all dirt and grime covered up by thick blankets of shimmering white.

When Eddie went to the toilet, Steve eyed you for a second and then sighed loudly. He was annoyed with a capital A and his frown translated it loud and clear.

"It's worse this time, isn't it?" he scoffed, having observed you long enough to know he was right. "Why did you let it get worse?"

You were quick to shoot him down, not wanting to get into it right now. If you did, you'd argue, because it felt unfair for Steve to keep shifting all blame onto you when it was never just you, was it?

"Stop. Everything's fine," you actively gaslit him, and you were very aware of it too.

"Your bed looks extremely untouched in there, you're not fooling anyone," Steve pointed in the direction of your bedroom, having seen your pristine made up bed from the hallway when he'd walked in. Steve could deal with the two of you sharing a bed, but the couch felt different. The thought of you sharing a big bed left Steve the chance to at least pretend you both kept to your own sides of it with your backs towards each other. Finding Eddie untangling himself from the sheets on the couch, and your pajamas all twisted up around your body made him put two and two together. It's wasn't a hard puzzle to solve.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," you got up and started clearing the table, desperate for this chat with Steve to end.

"Yes, we will, when I come over to peel you from your bathroom tiles, crying shell of a person," Steve seemed angry with you, spat his words with venom. You understood it was just worries from a friend, but all you wanted to do was get angry in return, even if it made no sense.

"Steve, I-" you hissed, but stopped yourself when you heard your toilet flush. It was just glares from the both of you then, eyes shooting daggers, calling each other names that couldn't reach Eddie's ears.

That afternoon, Robin had picked the three of you up and parked somewhere close to Lovers Lake. It had completely frozen over. You were about to say you should've all brought ice skates, but Robin was already on the ice. She took slow steady steps, unsure, and a little shaky. Steve followed, a lot more confident, and when the ice didn't crack when he jumped to demonstrate how thick it was, you and Eddie stepped on too. You held onto Eddie on the slippery ice and slid quite far out together, following Steve and Robin who figured out they could run without slipping or falling. They were laughing, chasing each other, and spinning in circles around you. Robin slid over and almost bumped into you, "I've not figured out how to stop yet," and took hold of both of your hands before she started running backwards, speeding up as she dragged you along. The thrill had you shrieking, and it was fun, even though there wasn't a single second you didn't think you were going to fall and hurt yourself.

When Robin slowed down a little, it gave you a chance to look over your shoulder, and you could see Steve and Eddie talk. You were too far away to hear them, too far away to even read their faces properly, but Steve seemed sad as he spoke, and Eddie seemed annoyed as he listened.

You asked Robin if she knew what they were talking about, and she giggled, "Probably confessing their undying love for each other," making you laugh. When the four of you joined each other again with flushed faces and cold fingers, you started on your way back to get off the ice, and Eddie seemed more distant.

Eddie didn't grab a hold of you the way you would've wanted him to. Eddie didn't reach for your hand to hold, even though his legs still seemed just as unsteady and wobbly. Eddie didn't wrap an arm around your shoulders as you walked back through the woods to where Robin had parked her car. And Eddie didn't want to sit in the backseat with you, calling shotgun and running the last few steps to the car to ensure his place in the front.

There was only one thing you could conclude; Steve had tried to be a good friend to you, had tried to let Eddie know to back off a bit, maybe. And you loved your good friend Steve, but could strangle him in the moment. All you had were glares for him from your spot in the car behind Eddie, which Steve pretended he didn't see, and Robin caught in the rearview mirror.

That evening, around 8pm, you all stepped into The Hideout, and you were a little shocked at the welcome you got. The welcome Eddie got. There were maybe 15 people, and the place had seemed quiet, people minding their own business, but when eyes landed on Eddie, everyone seemed up on their feet and he was hauled in like the super star he was.

Eddie was given drinks by strangers, talked to by everyone, all at once, and asked by the young band playing that night to sign their instruments. Random men patted him on the back, acted like they were long lost friends, and talked to him like they knew Eddie - talked to him like Eddie knew them.

It was overwhelming to witness, let alone be the guy who has to take it all in, and you sighed a breath of relief when you saw Steve had been able to grab a little table a bit further into the back for the four of you. Away from the bright lights that surrounded the bar. Away from the band who had already pulled Eddie up on stage and had pressed a guitar into his hands, "One song, Eddie! Come on!" and who was he to deny these young boys a little bit of fun?

When he stepped off stage after playing three, four, maybe even five songs, you touched Eddie's arm and pointed out where you were sat. Eddie just handed you the two drinks he'd already been handed by strangers and told you he'd be there in a second. Eddie took his time talking to anyone that wanted to talk to him. This was rockstar Eddie. Famous Eddie Munson. Eddie who lived somewhere high up on a pedestal. You admired him, because he was everything Eddie would've looked up to when he was younger, and now he had made it.

You admired him, were so proud of him, but you weren't sure if you necessarily liked him.

When Eddie eventually joined you, the four of you chatted, laughed, flipped coasters off the edge of the table and tried to catch them after just one rotation. Robin could stack several up and flip them all together, catching them all in one swift move, and you all tried to see if you could too, but made coasters fly instead. Eddie dared Steve to get on stage, sit behind the drumkit, give a dumb ba-dum-tss as if someone had just told him a bad joke. Steve called bluff on Robin when she said she was going to order a shot and try to get a girl's phone number. You went and got more drinks for all of you, and the bartender gave them to you for free, waved at Eddie in the back and made you wish you'd ordered more expensive drinks instead of just four beers.

The night was all giggles and pure joy, and you loved every second the four of you spent together so much, it made you forget that Eddie was leaving the next day. Eddie was there now, and that was all you really had, and all that really mattered.

Steve ended up being the first to leave and Robin dipped out not much later. It was only just past 11 when Eddie asked the owner to call a taxi for the two of you, and you finished your drinks in silence, Eddie's hand on your thigh, smiling stupid smirks and catching stolen glances. You knew where the night was headed, and you gladly let Eddie lead the way.

You made your way into your apartment by the sheer sense of intuition alone. You hadn't broken from one another since stepping into the elevator, and letting yourself into your apartment was a messy, fumbling, frustrating task, because Eddie wouldn't stop kissing you, and you liked how he pushed you up against the door too much.

Getting to your bed eventually, you let Eddie push you back onto your mattress. A knee pressed into the springs in between your legs and he hovered over you with his hair cascading down, giving you tunnel vision. All you could see, feel, smell, hear and taste was Eddie.

"Let's get you what you need,"

You moaned as you let him, taking all of what he was willing to give you in the moment. Eddie was all soft, caressing fingers with a caring mind that searched for a condom before getting himself anywhere near you. All attentive eyes and thoughtful lips. Until he wasn't. Until he grew rough. You could feel him slowly shift into the guy who you'd seen hold a guitar that night. The man he turned into when he stepped on stage. All confidence, all ego. You knew he wasn't just giving you what he thought you needed. Eddie was taking from you what he wanted and asked no permission, because he knew he already had it.

Eddie went for a shower after, and you hadn't hesitated to join him, unwilling to leave his side during these last few moments that you had with him. Eddie let you wash his hair, let himself melt under your massaging touch and the hot stream of water. He let you charge the last little bit of his inner battery, unaware he was draining yours simultaneously. You asked if you could braid his hair after combing it with him sat on the floor, one of your knees on either side of his shoulders, and he had just hummed, drowning in the bliss of having someone touch him like this. You french braided his hair out of his face and made sure his curl pattern would look nice when he'd undo them. Eddie curled his arms around your legs, and you knew it was the last bit of past Eddie you were going to get from him. Come tomorrow morning, he'd see one of his band members and he'd take the foot he still kept in the past and would scrape it along gravel towards his future. You had only now.

And now... here you were.

It was just past two in the morning, and Eddie was asleep in your bed whilst you were staring at him with tears escaping your eyes, willing time to slow down until it stopped entirely. You honestly really didn't mean to wake up him. You didn't. But you couldn't help the small sob that escaped you, even though you really tried, and you held your breath right after in hopes of the silence compensating it enough.

But Eddie had heard you. Caught you, eyes blinking open and meeting the worst version of you. It was the wrong time and the wrong place to meet this version of you, and you mentally kicked yourself for it. Thick, salty tears had left your face wet, and when Eddie cupped your cheek with his hand, he felt what he hadn’t already been able to see in the dark.

The adult in you didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to wake Eddie up any more than you had already done. The adult in you wanted Eddie to live his life for himself, the way he had been doing for the past however many years, chasing dreams he had never been able to shut up about when you were younger. The adult in you wanted success for Eddie in every single form he would accept it.

But your teenage self kicked your adult self in the shins and shouted, "Fuck what you want, what about what I want?". You wanted to argue. To talk, at least. Be selfish in the moment and let go of what you held trapped in your heart, even if you knew Eddie wouldn’t know what to do with it – wouldn’t even really like it.

"Stay."

Eddie didn’t hesitate, not even in this state of being half-asleep half-awake, and said, "I can’t stay."

"Please, stay. Stay for Christmas." You sniffed loudly, almost doing it on purpose to manipulate him into feeling sad for you. To show you some empathy and to indulge you in your need for him.

"You know, I can’t stay, baby." Eddie made it sound softer that time, added a pet name, and hummed right after.

You knew he meant he didn’t want to stay. Hawkins wasn’t Eddie’s present, or future for that matter. It was Eddie’s past; the past where he would step one foot back into every couple of months. The past he had to revisit in order to keep his future bright as he would stare at it up ahead. The second the mental image of his future started dulling, Eddie dove head first into his past, into you, until the sun would come back out. Then, he’d be off again.

"That’s okay, I don’t want you to."

You sent mixed signals, but you meant them. Both were true. If Eddie didn't want to stay, you didn't want to keep him there. Eddie frowned with a type of confidence you didn’t appreciate.

"Lies."

"I want you to stay if it’s not going to hold you back. I want you to stay because you want to stay. Maybe… maybe we shouldn’t..." You paused and tried to let your mind find the right words.

"Anymore." You added.

"This." You finished.

Eddie let the silence linger for longer than you liked, and the confidence you had seen in Eddie's expression faltered slightly. Just a little. Just enough for you to have seen it in the dark.

"You know I love you right?" Eddie tried saving it, but you didn't know if Eddie even knew what he was trying to save exactly.

"That doesn’t change anything. Love doesn’t make you stay for Christmas."

"I’ll stay for Christmas." Eddie moved in closer to you, pulled you into him to cuddle, to hold you as you cried. He wanted to give you this fantasy for a moment if it would get you through the night in one piece.

"You can’t." you protested, already ripping at the seams.

"I can’t." Eddie sighed.

Overnight, Eddie had changed from the guy who held you as you cried, to the guy who left your apartment with all of his things without waking you up to say goodbye.

Eddie had been there, jammed up high, all the way up in all of your senses until, very abruptly, he wasn't anymore.

Eddie was gone, and he had taken your teenage self with him, leaving you hollow, empty, barren, bleak, and lifeless.

Eddie was gone, and you let your hands reach for him across your mattress, feeling sharp pains in your chest when you didn't feel him there, your apartment was quiet.

Eddie was gone, and he had taken every trace of himself, like he had never even been there to begin with. Except for one thing. You knew it would be there. He always left one, and why would this time be different? You reached up for it without even opening your eyes, letting your fingers find it on the pillow where he'd rested his head before he'd walked out on you.

A little note.

A small message to leave you with. A message that was meant to hold you over until you'd see him again. But would you? See him again?

You cracked open eyes that were already wet and let them adjust, blink into focus, to read what words Eddie felt would excuse his absence.

"Merry Christmas x"

Eddie was gone. And so were you. Read the sequel: Over Now

-----

The Taglisted:

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @dirtyeddietini @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @eddiemunsonfuxks @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @munsonmunster @kellysimagines @mybffjoe @harrys-tittie @chaoticgood-munson @harringtonfan4 @sherrylyn628 @bdpst-massacre @xeddiesbattattsx @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @munsonswhore86 @alwayslindie @thefemininemystiquee @hauntingbastille @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland @pepperstories @phyllosilicate-s @thebellenouvelle @luvrsbian @joesquinns @choke-me-eddie @alizztor - (tag list currently full)

#secret santa project #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #rockstar!eddie #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie imagine #fanfiction

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thesiltverses · 1 year

Text

Hey, amazing people - hope you're well!

A quick heads-up: we've made the decision to factor an additional week-long quarter-season break into our release schedule (so this week's intended episode won't launch until next Thursday 19th with the early release coming next Wednesday 18th, and we'll insert a corresponding break into the second half of the season as well).

As you've probably already gathered from the first four episodes, Season 3 of TSV is big, and ambitious at around 50-60 minutes per episode, and our next four episodes are particularly chunky and action-filled - we've also had some bad luck over the past few weeks (our own fault, tbh) with missing/corrupted audio, so we've been playing catch-up to recover since then.

That extra week will give us the time we need to get back on top of production and take a much-needed breath.

As ever, thank you so much for your patience - really hope you've all been enjoying the season so far and can't wait for you to hear everything that's coming next.

Keep safe and have a great week,

Jon

17th August: Episode 1

31st August: Episode 2

14th September: Episode 3

28th September: Episode 4

19th October: Episode 5

2nd November: Episode 6

16th November: Episode 7

30th November: Episode 8

December 2023: Mid-season break. (Terror, exhaustion, panic. But maybe a little less of it?)

11th January 2024: Episode 9

25th January: Episode 10

8th February: Episode 11

22nd February: Episode 12

14th March: Episode 13

28th March: Episode 14

11th April: Episode 15

25th April: Episode 16. Season Finale

#silt verses #tsv

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mostlysignssomeportents · 10 months

Text

All the books I reviewed in 2023 (Nonfiction)

Next Tuesday (December 5), I'm at Flyleaf Books in Chapel Hill, NC, with my new solarpunk novel The Lost Cause, which 350.org's Bill McKibben called "The first great YIMBY novel: perceptive, scientifically sound, and extraordinarily hopeful."

It's that time of year again, when I round up all the books I reviewed for my newsletter in the previous year. I posted 21 reviews last year, covering 31 books (there are two series in there!). I also published three books of my own last year (two novels and one nonfiction). A busy year in books!

Every year, these roundups remind me that I did actually manager to get a lot of reading done, even if the list of extremely good books that I didn't read is much longer than the list of books I did read. I read many of these books while doing physiotherapy for my chronic pain, specifically as audiobooks I listened to on my underwater MP3 player while doing my daily laps at the public pool across the street from my house.

After many years of using generic Chinese waterproof MP3s players – whose quality steadily declined over a decade – I gave up and bought a brand-name player, a Shokz Openswim. So far, I have no complaints. Thanks to reader Abbas Halai for recommending this!

https://shokz.com/products/openswim

I load up this gadget with audiobook MP3s bought from Libro.fm, a fantastic, DRM-free alternative to Audible, which is both a monopolist and a prolific wage-thief with a documented history of stealing from writers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/25/can-you-hear-me-now/#acx-ripoff

All right, enough with the process notes, on to the reviews!

NONFICTION

I. The Once and Future Sex by Eleanor Kaneaga

A history of gender and sex in the medieval age, describing the weird and horny ways of medieval Europeans, which are far gnarlier and more complicated than the story we get from "traditionalists" who want us to believe that their ideas about gender roles reflect a fixed part of human nature, and that modern attitudes are an attempt to rewrite history:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/17/ren-faire/#going-medieval

II. Pirate Enlightenment by David Graeber

In the early 18th century, the Zana-Malata people – a new culture created jointly by pirates from around the world and Malagasy – came to dominate the island. They brought with them the democratic practices of pirate ships (where captains were elected and served at the pleasure of their crews) and the matriarchal traditions of some Malagasy, creating a feminist, anarchist "Libertalia." Graeber retrieves and orders the history of this Libertalia from oral tradition, primary source documents, and records from around the world. Taken together, it's a tale that is rollicking and romantic, but also hilarious and eminently satisfying.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/24/zana-malata/#libertalia

III. A Hacker's Mind by Bruce Schneier

Schneier broadens his frame to consider all of society's rules – its norms, laws and regulations – as a security system, and then considers all the efforts to change those rules through a security lens, framing everything from street protests to tax-cheating as "hacks." This leaves us with two categories: hacks by the powerful to increase their power; and hacks by everyone else to take power away from the powerful.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/06/trickster-makes-the-world/#power-play

IV. Responding to the Right by Nathan J Robinson

Robinson describes conservativism as a comforting, fixed ideology that allows its adherents to move through the world without having to question themselves: you broke the law, so you're guilty. No need to ask if the law was just or unjust. This sidelines sticky moral dilemmas: no need for judges to ask if something is good or fair – merely whether it is "original" to the Constitution. No need for a CEO to ask whether a business plan is moral – only whether it is "maximizing shareholder benefit." Robinson anatomizes the most effective parts of conservative rhetoric and exhorts his leftist comrades to learn from it, and put it to better use.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/14/nathan-robinson/#arguendo

V. A Collective Bargain by Jane McAlevey

An extraordinary book that is one part history lesson, one part case-study, two parts how-to manual, one part memoir, and one million parts call to action. McAlevey devotes the early chapters to the rise and fall of labor protections in America, explaining how the wealthy mounted a sustained, expensive, obsessive fight to smash union power. She moves into a series of case-studies of workers who tried to organize unions under these increasingly inhospitable rules and conditions. The second half of the book is two case studies of mass strikes that succeeded in spite of even stiffer opposition. For McAlevey, saving America is just a scaled up version of the union organizer’s day-job.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/23/a-collective-bargain/

VI. Open Circuits by Windell Oskay and Eric Schlaepfer

A drop-dead gorgeous collection of photos of electronic components, painstakingly cross-sectioned and polished. The photos illustrate layperson-friendly explanations of what each component does, how it is constructed, and why. Perhaps you've pondered a circuit board and wondered about the colorful, candy-shaped components soldered to it. It's natural to assume that these are indivisible, abstract functional units, a thing that is best understood as a reliable and deterministic brick that can be used to construct a specific kind of wall. Peering inside these sealed packages reveals another world, a miniature land where things get simpler – and more complex.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/14/hidden-worlds/#making-the-invisible-visible-and-beautiful

VII. Doppelganger by Naomi Klein

This is a very odd book. It is also a very, very good book. The premise – exploring the divergence between Naomi Klein and Naomi Wolf, with whom she is often confused – is a surprisingly sturdy scaffold for an ambitious, wide-ranging exploration of this very frightening moment of polycrisis and systemic failure. For Klein, the transformation of Wolf from liberal icon – Democratic Party consultant and Lean-In-type feminist icon – to rifle-toting Trumpling with a regular spot on the Steve Bannon Power Hour is an entrypoint to understanding the mirror world. How did so many hippie-granola yoga types turn into vicious eugenicists whose answer to "wear a mask to protect the immunocompromised" is "they should die"?

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/05/not-that-naomi/#if-the-naomi-be-klein-youre-doing-just-fine

VIII. Your Face Belongs to Us by Kashmir Hill

A tell-all history of Clearview AI, the creepy facial recognition company whose origins are mired in far-right politics, off-the-books police misconduct, sales to authoritarian states and sleazy one-percenter one-upmanship. Facial recognition is now so easy to build that – Hill says – we're unlikely to abolish it, despite all the many horrifying ways that FR could fuck up our societies.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/20/steal-your-face/#hoan-ton-that

IX. Blood In the Machine by Brian Merchant

The definitive history of the Luddites, and the clearest analysis of the automator's playbook, where "entrepreneurs'" lawless extraction from workers is called "innovation" and "inevitable." Luddism has been steadily creeping into pro-labor technological criticism, as workers and technology critics reclaim the term and its history, which is a rich and powerful tale of greed versus solidarity, slavery versus freedom. Luddites are not – and have never been – anti-technology. Rather, they are pro-human, and see production as a means to an end: broadly shared prosperity. The automation project says it's about replacing humans with machines, but over and over again – in machine learning, in "contactless" delivery, in on-demand workforces – the goal is to turn humans into machines.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/26/enochs-hammer/#thats-fronkonsteen

X. Technofeudalism by Yanis Varoufakis

Varoufakis makes an excellent case that capitalism died a decade ago, turning into a new form of feudalism: technofeudalism. A feudal society is one organized around people who own things, charging others to use them to produce goods and services. In a feudal society, the most important form of income isn't profit, it's rent. Varoufakis likens shopping on Amazon to visiting a bustling city center filled with shops run by independent capitalists. However, all of those capitalists are subservient to a feudal lord: Jeff Bezos, who takes 51 cents out of every dollar they bring in, and furthermore gets to decide which products they can sell and how those products must be displayed. The postcapitalist, technofeudal world isn't a world without capitalism, then. It's a world where capitalists are subservient to feudalists ("cloudalists" in Varoufakis's thesis), as are the rest of us the cloud peons

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

XI. Underground Empire by Henry Farrell and Abraham Newman

Two political scientists tell the story of how global networks were built through accidents of history, mostly by American corporations and/or the American state. The web was built by accident, but the spider at its center was always the USA. At various junctures since the Cold War, American presidents, spies and military leaders have noticed this web and tugged at it. A tariff here, a sanction there, then an embargo. The NSA turns the internet into a surveillance grid and a weapon of war. The SWIFT system is turned into a way to project American political goals around the world – first by blocking transactions for things the US government disfavors, then to cut off access for people who do business with people who do things that the US wants stopped. Political science, done right, has the power to reframe your whole understanding of events around you. Farrell and Newman set out a compelling thesis, defend it well, and tell a fascinating tale.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/10/weaponized-interdependence/#the-other-swifties

XII. How Infrastructure Works by Deb Chachra

A hopeful, lyrical – even beautiful – hymn to the systems of mutual aid we embed in our material world, from sewers to roads to the power grid. It's a book that will make you see the world in a different way – forever. It's a bold engineering vision, one that fuses Chachra's material science background, her work as an engineering educator, her activism as an anti-colonialist and feminist. The way she lays it out is just…breathtaking.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/17/care-work/#charismatic-megaprojects

Like I said, this has been a good year in books for me, and it included three books of my own:

I. Red Team Blues (novel, Tor Books US, Head of Zeus UK)

Martin Hench is 67 years old, single, and successful in a career stretching back to the beginnings of Silicon Valley. He lives and roams California in a very comfortable fully-furnished touring bus, The Unsalted Hash, that he bought years ago from a fading rock star. He knows his way around good food and fine drink. He likes intelligent women, and they like him back often enough. Martin is a—contain your excitement—self-employed forensic accountant, a veteran of the long guerilla war between people who want to hide money, and people who want to find it. He knows computer hardware and software alike, including the ins and outs of high-end databases and the kinds of spreadsheets that are designed to conceal rather than reveal. He’s as comfortable with social media as people a quarter his age, and he’s a world-level expert on the kind of international money-laundering and shell-company chicanery used by Fortune 500 companies, mid-divorce billionaires, and international drug gangs alike. He also knows the Valley like the back of his hand, all the secret histories of charismatic company founders and Sand Hill Road VCs. Because he was there at all the beginnings. Now he’s been roped into a job that’s more dangerous than anything he’s ever agreed to before—and it will take every ounce of his skill to get out alive.

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues

II. The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation (nonfiction, Verso)

We can – we must – dismantle the tech platforms. We must to seize the means of computation by forcing Silicon Valley to do the thing it fears most: interoperate. Interoperability will tear down the walls between technologies, allowing users to leave platforms, remix their media, and reconfigure their devices without corporate permission. Interoperability is the only route to the rapid and enduring annihilation of the platforms. The Internet Con is the disassembly manual we need to take back our internet.

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

III. The Lost Cause (novel, Tor Books US, Head of Zeus UK)

For young Americans a generation from now, climate change isn't controversial. It's just an overwhelming fact of life. And so are the great efforts to contain and mitigate it. Entire cities are being moved inland from the rising seas. Vast clean-energy projects are springing up everywhere. Disaster relief, the mitigation of floods and superstorms, has become a skill for which tens of millions of people are trained every year. The effort is global. It employs everyone who wants to work. Even when national politics oscillates back to right-wing leaders, the momentum is too great; these vast programs cannot be stopped in their tracks.

But there are still those Americans, mostly elderly, who cling to their red baseball caps, their grievances, their huge vehicles, their anger. To their "alternative" news sources that reassure them that their resentment is right and pure and that "climate change" is just a giant scam. And they're your grandfather, your uncle, your great-aunt. And they're not going anywhere. And they’re armed to the teeth. The Lost Cause asks: What do we do about people who cling to the belief that their own children are the enemy? When, in fact, they're often the elders that we love?

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

I wrote nine books during lockdown, and there's plenty more to come. The next one is The Bezzle, a followup to Red Team Blues, which comes out in February:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

While you're waiting for that one, I hope the reviews above will help you connect with some excellent books. If you want more of my reviews, here's my annual roundup from 2022:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/01/bookishness/#2022-in-review

Here's my book reviews from 2021:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/08/required-ish-reading/#bibliography

And here's my book reviews from 2020:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/08/required-reading/#recommended-reading

It's EFF's Power Up Your Donation Week: this week, donations to the Electronic Frontier Foundation are matched 1:1, meaning your money goes twice as far. I've worked with EFF for 22 years now and I have always been - and remain - a major donor, because I've seen firsthand how effective, responsible and brilliant this organization is. Please join me in helping EFF continue its work!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/01/bookmaker/#2023-in-review

#pluralistic #books #reviews #science fiction #gift guide #graphic novels #2023 in review #novels

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trashlie · 10 months

Note

it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY Ask #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #Aegi #oh you know just me wailing into the night about stalkyoo nbd alkfjjkafjkafjkajfkajfjaf lmao #I PLANNED TO ANSWER THIS AND BE CHILL BUT I DON'T HAVE CHILL and then when i was wailing about Shinae giving Nol the chance to leave and ho #part of why she is so desperate is she can't lose him again not when she almost did not when he came back not when she gave him the chance #to leave and he chose to stay and saw the parallel to Nessa and Rand and it was just ALL DOWNHILL FROM THERE LMAO #AGONY #ANGUISH #PLS PLS PLS LET ME GET WHAT I WANT #lmao #plssssssssssssssssssssss #can you imagine how awful it would be if they didn't reconcile until post time skip?!#jesus christ HOW do you even reconcile after that?!#HOWLS FOREVER

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ana8swift · 2 years

Text

summary: You were eighteen when you left Hawkins. Now it's few years later, and as you struggle with the mess you've left behind, your fears and secrets. Love gives you a second chance, will you take it?

Steve Harrington × reader

Word count: 4,500+

This story is inspired by and named after Lizzy McAlpine's album five seconds flat.

PART 1

strangers to lovers, second chance romance, angst but also fluff :)

---------------------------------------------------------

It's cold, how Steve's face turns pale when he sees you. He was laughing, but his smile quickly disappeared.

Of course you'll find him here. At the grocery store. The first place you go to after getting home. He's not alone though.

Robin is next to him, she just awkwardly waves. She whispers something in his ear and heads your way.

She is moving way too fast and you don't have time to think of what to say. What is there left to say?

"Hi" is a good way to start.

"Hey, I- we didn't know you were home". Home. It feels weird to call Hawkins home, when you haven't been here in years. And when Robin says 'we' it feels weird because Steve walks away. Robin notices his absence. But she continues,

"I've missed you. If you called me to tell me that you're back, I would've come to visit you or something" And she says it again, like she wants to emphasize her feelings, the hurt and pain you left behind for her to pick up after, "I've missed you". Simple words. She means them, but they hurt in a way they aren't sure to do.

"I just got here. This morning. I realized the fridge was completely empty so I came to buy something before my family wakes up. Wanted to surprise them" you avoid to look at her eyes, but you smile anyway. A shy smile. Hoping she won't notice how uncomfortable this is for you, you realize the floor is more interesting to look at, then her sad blue eyes.

"Oh. Uhm. How long are you going to stay here for?"

"I'm going back after New Year's"

"That's great! We have you for the whole month. I'm glad you're back" she tells you. And you really want to believe her. For a second you look into her eyes and you almost do.

"I think he's waiting for you. But I'll see you around. I've missed you too" you cut short the conversation. She knows what you mean. She hugs you and mutters a sweet 'goodbye'. And she looks for Steve. He's around. Probably hiding somewhere, avoiding you.

And you don't blame him.

It's cold, the weather outside. But it's the start of December. The start of the new season. Of course it's cold. You're underdressed. With no scarf or gloves or a proper coat. What the hell were you think, leaving the house like this?

But you guess that living in California does that to you. You get used to warm, sunny days and you start to forget what's it like in Hawkins, in the wintertime.

You shouldn't have walked here. The hour is early, and the sun is still down. And you're too far from home.

But a familiar car drives next to you. Windows down. You see him more clearly now. He's older. Of course he is, it's been three years. His eyes seam darker, his hair longer, his lips formed in a frown. Hands on the wheel. Robin sits in the passenger seat.

"Need a ride?" she kindly asks.

"Oh no need. I'll just walk home"

"No way, get in here!" you want to take on her offer, but before you give an answer, you look at the driver, Steve. Wait for his reassurance. After a moment of silence he finally looks up to you, and says:

"Come on, we'll take you home"

You don't need much convincing. You were going to freeze to death if you didn't get in the car. The icy road slows down the drive. It's silent and almost nostalgic. And you have so many things you want to say in that moment. To apologize. But it's not right, not now.

So,

You just stay silent. Or try to, but Robin's here. And she tries to talk to you. Small talk. She hates small talk and now that's all you have left.

"How does it feel to be back?" she breaks the silence.

"Uhm I don't know. Weird"

Steve makes an annoyed expression and Robin shoots him a 'don't do that, don't be an asshole' type of look.

But seating here, in Steve Harrington's car, after all this time it's weird. You don't know how to explain it so you try to change the subject.

"Robin, last I've heard is that you got in Southern Cal. Is that true?"

"Oh yeah! I can't take another gap year. My parents will kill me if I don't leave the house soon"

"That's great"

"And the best part is that I got a full scholarship. So I'm using all the money I've saved in the past few years to buy a small apartment near campus. If you know any cheap two-room apartments near campus or anywhere colse by, it would be great!"

"Two rooms?"

"Steve is going to be my roommate"

"Oh, that's amazing. I can ask some friends if they know some avaliable places around there" you try to sound exited, but you're not sure how you feel about it. Steve Harrington, being so close to you? And living in the same city again?

"Thank you! Isn't this great? Next year, we'll be together. Just like old times!" You can hear real excitement in her voice. But Steve's gaze from the rear view mirror brings you to reality. Nothing ever will be like 'old times'.

When the drive is finally over, you exit the car, you thank Steve, but he stays silent. This silence is killing you. But still you put on a smile, and you wonder how you're going to survive this Friday's party? Because you just made a promise to Robin that you'll be there. And you can't break more promises.

The last time you were home, in Hawkins was when you were eighteen.

You were fresh out of high-school, you were full of hopes, adrenaline and bad ideas.

And Steve Harrington was next to you, going through all your bad ideas. He wasn't really your boyfriend or something, but he was with you and it was enough. And you liked having Steve Harrington by your side.

You also liked the small town you knew like the back of your hand. The place you grew up in. Hawkins- Indiana.

And it's true. Most people dream to have the chance to leave this town. They crave adventures, new places and faces. Or they are simply afraid. And Hawkins -the perfect town for high school sweethearts to settle in,

has became a living nightmare in the last decade. The kind of nightmare, that makes you feel like you're stuck in your bed. And you can't move. You can't scream. You can only hear whispers. You can see things. And you can't really explain it. If you do or try to explain, you'll most likely end up in a mental institution.

So you never did explain why you left.

And that was your mistake.

So was agreeing to go to this stupid party.

You can't find what to wear, and you're most likely going to be late. You don't even remember the girl who is throwing this party. Robin said her name was Sarah, and that you and her had science together.

This party is set to be the death of you.

But you're still here standing outside Sarah's door. Wearing a nice outfit and a very warm coat. And you're only 20 minutes late.

She opens up, a nice looking redhead and she hugs you tightly.

"Come in. We were waiting for you! I was so happy when Robin mentioned you were coming! How's California? How's everything?"

You get in, walk through the hallway, following Sarah's voice. And she leads you to a dark room filled with smoke and high.

You might not remember Sarah, but you find a lot of familiar faces in the crowd around you.

You see Amanda, the girl you were seated next to in English. But right now, instead of the regular nice and smart girl you once knew, you see her smoking weed and making out with a guy much older then her.

You see the high school sweethearts, James and Taylor. They are still together? But they are arguing and Taylor stroms out.

You see a lot of familiar faces. You wonder how much they've changed since high school. You know you've changed for sure. Near death experience does that to you.

Sarah leaves to greet someone else and you stand there alone. In the middle of the crowd, with a cup of beer in your hand is when you finally see him. You knew he'd be here. You shouldn't be surprised or disappointed. Because he's talking with a girl. You can clearly see he's flirting with her. Because his hand is on her waist and he's smirking, and she laughs at some joke he whispered in her ear.

You remember a time, when you were in that girl's shoes. When you were the one to laugh at Steve's jokes. The one that got to hold him close. The one that got to kiss him even if you were just friends. You miss it. You got to be his friend, and now you're not. You miss your friend.

But to your rescue comes another friend, Robin. You talk with her, talk with everyone really. You drink. You smile and you tell yourself 'it's fine'. Everything is fine, so focus on that. You just need to get out of here. So, you excuse yourself that you need some fresh breath and go outside. It's still crowded around the porch, and all you want is to hide somewhere. From all these people and mixed feelings.

The driveway is a good place for that. Too bad Steve had the exact same thought. You find him, smoking, next to his car. And you can't leave, because he sees you. He moves his eyes from your head to your toes, though your curves and invisible shields. He always knows how to break down the walls around your heart. But you're not surprised. After all, he is known for being a heartbreaker.

"I thought smoking is bad for you" you walk up to him.

"It is"

You stand in front of him now. He's too close. But you don't mind. "So why are you smoking? Since when?"

"Three years ago" he says and by the look in his eyes you can tell what he really wants to say is 'when you left'.

"Can I try?" you don't really want to try. But the way you say it, it comes off as a joke, a distraction from the hurt and Steve notices that too. Because he says a simple,

"No" and he smiles. Beside the pain and anger he's feeling, you made him smile. You almost feel proud. You feel like you've missed his smile.

"Why not?" And you decide to show him yours, just in case he has missed your smile as much as you've missed his.

"It's a bad idea"

"I used to like bad ideas" you don't know what made you say that. Because it feels wrong. You want to clarify 'I'm not regretting my past, I don't regret you. You were the best idea I've had. But it not right, the moment is over and Steve continues,

"Yeah, used to" he mocks and turns his head down to puts out his cigarette.*

"Still want to try" you don't, but you think that you would try anything, everything to make this moment last for while longer. Everything to see Steve Harrington's smile again, to know that you're the reason behind it.

"What are you doing here? Honestly?" Steve obviously doesn't think the same. You can't blame him.

So you try to play dumb. "Robin invited me. You were there, you know that"

"I mean back, in Hawkins. Why now?"

"I missed it" you're not sure if what you say it's true or a lie.

"Bullshit" Steve seams like he knows the answer for your unspoken question. 'You're the answer', you want to scream at him. He walks away. Heading back inside. To the girl he was with. She's probably waiting for him, you think.

"It's not" you yell without turning back.

"Bullshit" he does the same, and he leaves you smiling in a driveway about a simple conversation, in the middle of the night and somehow that is enough.

---------------------------------------------------------

But four years ago on a similar, cold night, everything changed. It was the winter of 84'. It was simple and innocent. It was the start of the end.

"Did you really had to do that?" you start the conversation as you sit down on the chair that's in front of you. The orange walls, wooden floors and the big dining table make you feel at home. Even though you've never been here before. Steve's presence was enough.

The pictures on the wall covered with dust, a big vase with lilies, an old music player. A slow song fills your ears, but quickly fades as Steve answers.

"Do what?" He's pacing around the kitchen, like a lost child in a grocery store or more like a lost puppy. 'Where is it?' he mumbles to himself. He's looking for his first aid kit, you know that because you're bleeding on his fancy carpet. You're supposed to feel scared or anything really, you never liked blood, especially your own. But Steve's the one who's terrified. Pacing like a ghost, you continue:

"You know-" you hold your open wound and take a deep breath. You can't see it very clearly, it's dark outside. But you're sure it's going to leave a scar on your torso. The light breeze coming from the open window, as well as the sound of dogs barking outside are a distraction to your pain. You release your breath "-be the hero. How do you expect me to not to fall in love with you, when you try to save my life?" you say it off as a joke.

"It's easy, don't resist it. And fall in love with me" he doesn't. He says it with so much ease and confidence. Like he didn't pretend not to know you last year. He's marching to you with hands full of supplies. He leaves them on the table and puts on a light. Your eyes hurt from the sudden brightness and Steve quickly mumbles 'sorry' and takes a sit beside you.

"Maybe I don't want to fall in love with you" you say, and you look down.

"Why not? I'm the perfect guy to fall in love with" he doesn't ask, insted he just lifts your shirt that's covered in blood and dirt and probably more blood and he cleans you wound. "I know, that I don't have the best reputation. But if you give me a chance, I will try everything to make sure that you don't regret it". His touch is gentle, but still it sends a shiver down your back. You look at his hands, and think about how you want to hold them. His eyes are now on you and you think this is a moment to hold on to.

"Yeah, I know. The number one basketball star, biggest playboy, king Steve" you smile even though it's not really funny. You just want him to know that you understand.

That this Steve that is starting at you right now is not the same as the one you see at school. This Steve that helped and is friends with a bunch of twelve year olds is not the same as the one that sits behind you in class. This Steve that saved you from a bunch of demo-dogs or some creatures is not the same you once knew in kindergarten.

You know this but you want to know more about him.

Because he's more than his mighty titles, because you always want to remember the way it feels, to be seen and admired by Steve Harrington.

"So what do you think?" he looks down, and continues to stitch you up. 'When did he learn how to do that?'

"About?"

"Going on a date with me? And later falling in love with me?" he finally looks up and half smiles, and how could you say 'no' to his gorgeous eyes and smile? You don't. You accept his invitation with a squeeze on his hand, and you hold it throughout the night while he takes care of your recklessness- jump in fire- stupid decision- your bloody wound. And before you leave his house, the next morning, you say

"I would love to go on a date with you"

------------------------------------------------------

When you left three years ago, you didn't stay in touch with your friends, the kids, even your family. You tried to erase Hawkins, your past and everyone that comes with that. You also felt like a coward. Being the only one who left. You didn't have it in your heart to talk on the phone with the kids, but they tried. They called you so often, that you memorized their numbers. You didn't answer though, because you were scared to hear the disappointed in their voice.

And now, walking through your neighborhood, looking around, you feel like a stranger and at the same time nostalgia washes over you. You regret doing that, declining their calls. Not visiting Max in the hospital. Not being there for them. To help them, comfort them.

You regret a lot of things that you did, and didn't do.

And now all you have are memories. Like the one you just remembered. Something happened here, at the same playground you just walked past. A memory was made, a heart was broken...

---------------------------------------------------------

Three years ago...

Summer of 85' left a mark on Dustin's face, countless freckles under his eyes and on his cheeks. His face matured. He was starting high school soon, so of course he looks older.

The sky was changing in shades of gold, orange and pretty pink. And the air was warm, with a kind wind, lifting up your hair and leaving a faint voice in the back of your head. It was around 7 pm and the sun was quickly setting down.

And that meant only one thing,

Summer's end- playground- back to school- deep talks tradition with your favorite kid, who's far more mature than most of the kids your own age or his.

"I don't understand why you're avoiding him now. I mean you went to high-school together, you are friends right? You even fought together, twice now. In the upside down I mean" Dustin changes the conversation, and you know who he's talking about.

You knew that you couldn't avoid him. You still tried to.

"Yeah that's true, we're cool. More than that. You know, I might be in love with him. I don't know. But I can't say that. It's not the right time, you know?" You answer as you swing in the open wind. The sky looks purple now, you can almost taste it. You suddenly crave cotton candy, ice cream or Steve Harrington's lips on yours.

You just wanted the pain to stop.

"Might? You're definitely in love. And he definitely feels the same"- Dustin remembers how Steve acted around you when he saw you, in Scoops Ahoy few weeks ago. Before the mall fire. Before everything went to hell.

He swears that Steve was nervous then and that he was blushing and Steve swears that he was not.

Suddenly Dustin notices you, smiling to the sky and he realizes- "Wait are you high?"

"Yup" you turn to face him. "I saw your new friend. The dealer, what was his name, oh I forgot"

"You mean Eddie?" He sounds surprised. But why? Dustin is the one who introduced you to the weirdo, actually no, Eddie is cool. Your thoughts are spinning around your head. What is Steve doing now? Is he going to hate you? Did you lock your front door before you left? You don't listen to Dustin, as you continue to talk.

"The one with the long hair, always wears a denim vest"

"Yes, yes! That's Eddie. Did you get weed from him?"

"Do you think Steve is going to hate me?" You suddenly stop swinging, and you look down. You almost sound embarrassed by your question. You feel even more embarrassed when you realize that tears are forming in your eyes.

"No, why would he? He could never hate you. No matter what you do" he tries to comfort you. And maybe what he says it's true, but you're still confused, you whisper a soft 'Really' and Dustin continues -"Yeah. It's obvious that he loves you. I know you two are or were seeing each other. It's okay"

"I'm leaving in two days" you say and to be honest, the rest of the day was a blur.

You remember crying, Dustin holding your hand as he walked you home, and you remember the time when the roles were reversed.

The summer before Dustin started middle-school. He was around five, and you were only few years older. Your parents are friends with his mom, and you basically grew along side the young boy.

He was so scared, that he tried to run away from his home, just so he wouldn't go to school the next day. His mom freaked out, almost called the police. But Dustin was quickly found. In the playground, he was softly crying, hiding behind the swings. You saw him, talked to him, gave him some hope 'You'll find friends Dustin. I'm sure you will! And if you don't, you'll always have me, okay?' you remember the words you whispered before you took him home.

And you remember what Dustin said before you walked to your door, 'I understand why you're going. And I'm sure you'll be happier there, you'll find new friends and everything is going to be okay. If not, you'll always have me'

---------------------------------------------------------

You haven't talked to Dustin, or anyone since Max's coma. So getting a call, at three pm on the third day since you were back was rather unexpected. You didn't think they would want to see you.

But Lucas called, and you didn't recognize his voice. He asked you to meet with them, at Mike's basement for a movie night. And how can you say no? You had to see them, you missed them. When he mentioned Mike's basement, you smiled. Not everything is changed after all.

So here you are, standing in front of the Wheeler's hause, the next day. You ring the bell, and Holly answers. She doesn't remember you, but Mike lets you in. Everyone is there, Lucas, Dustin, Max, Will, El . They were all grown up, almost as tall as you, thriving in high school, almost unrecognizable to you.

They all hugged you tightly. And it's weird, but good weird. You missed this, you missed them.

"How is high school treating you? I can't believe how tall you all are!" you say as you take a seat on the empty couch.

"It's good. We're good. How's college?" says Mike and quickly everyone takes a sit beside you.

"It's good" it comes off as a lie, but it's not. College is not what you expected. But mean girls and asshole guys are better then fighting demons or whatever in the upside down. But you can't be thinking about this right now. 'Focus on the good' you tell yourself.

-"I mean, you're almost seniors, do you have some ideas of what you want to study?"

"Well not me. I'm staying behind for another year. I have so much to learn" El sends a sweet smile to your way and finds a seat on the floor.

"That's allright. I remember Eddie Munson fell behind for two years back in high school and he's fine now. I saw him at his gig in June" you change the subject. Focusing on the good.

"Yeah he mentioned that. Dustin has weakly phone calls with him" Lucas says, as he looks over at his curly headed friend.

"I do. He always has the most amazing stories from tour. Last month he was chased from the police. He swears that he ran for half an hour and got away in the end" Dustin says, proudly.

"That's not surprising. But you, tell us, how are you? How long are you staying?" Max asks. Her voice is stronger now. You remember the first phone call you had with her, when she woke up. You felt the hurt though her voice. But, let's focus on the good. She's good. Everything is fine.

"Till New Year's" and smile, that's good.

"Do you have a boyfriend? Back in California? Do you know Will has- El starts saying something but is quickly interrupted.

"Hey, El!" Will yells.

"Mhm no I don't. I had. But"- you try to explain. But how can you? The last boyfriend you had cheated on you. And the worst thing was, that you didn't feel anything. You didn't care.

"But what?" the redhead curiously asks.

"I broke up with him, four months ago. I don't think I'm that good at relationships" you say.

"Look, I got goosebumps" Dustin shows his arm to Mike. With a big smile on his face. -"I swear Steve said the same thing to me last week" Dustin laughs, but everyone else stays silent. And he quickly realizes what be said.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned him. I ruined the mood" his smile falls, and cracks a piece of your heart. You never wanted this. To break the group. To leave. But you did, now you must face the consequences. The hurt you caused. It's your fault.

"Please, don't apologize. Steve and I, we're cool. He knows I'm back. Everything that happened, it's in the past. We're both civil right now" you explain and everyone looks shocked. It's not that shocking, that Steve talked to you, right?

"You are?" Will asks.

"Wait, why didn't he say anything to us! I found out that you are back from my mom. Because she saw you at the bakery. But I mean he could have told us that you're here. The last time we saw him, it was like what?"-

"Monday morning" Max continues her boyfriend's sentence.

"I guess he forgot to mention that. It's not a big deal" you say.

"Did you talk?" quietly asks El.

"Kinda. I don't think he wants to talk to me that much. And I don't blame him"

"Well I do. You're finally back, the whole group is whole and now he's being petty about it?" Dustin says annoyed.

"Let's just watch the movie" focus on the good.

"Is that why Steve was in a bad mood?" El whispers to her boyfriend.

"Shhh!" Mike finally sits down, and the movie starts.

At the same, few blocks away was Steve. Taking his break, standing in front of the chief's office. With a payphone in his hand, and a cigarette in his other.

"Why is she back?" He whispers to the person on the other line.

"This is her home. She has a right to come back, whenever she wants to" says Robin. Because, who else would Steve call, if not his best friend?

"I know but- he takes a drag and exhales- She's acting like a saint, coming back here, like nothing happened. Like she didn't just leave without saying goodbye" he complains.

"I know you're hurt, but can you give her a chance? I'm not asking you to get back together, just be civil. I know you've missed her too" she whispers back.

"Look, I've got to go. Hopper is going to kill me if I don't finish his paper work. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You know it"

The following week, the weather got colder, and you spent your time catching up with some old friends and with your family. You were preparing for Christmas, decorating the tree, baking. You filled your room with bright colored lights and it felt nice. It felt like before.

The first week of 'dating' Steve Harrington was magical, and it felt right, and you remember it really well. You played every moment back in your head, replaying it over and over, so you don't forget it.

It was the start of winter and it was snowing all the time. School got canceled because of snow, icy roads and coldness but you were happy, free and you were slowly falling in love.

You kissed Steve Harrington, and you felt free.

He kissed you back, and you promised to always remember how freedom tastes. To remember what happiness means.

Hot chocolate, cinnamon cookies, icy lips, red checks.

Everything was right and good. And you want to focus on that. To remember that.

But you can't focus on the good, and forget the bad parts, the nightmares, the heartbreak, the horrors.

You're in your room. And everything starts to move. The lights lose their color. Everything darkens. Everything spins. Voices fill your head and you can feel the walls around your neck. You're losing your breath. Is that 'Vecna' thing back? Or is this your mind playing tricks on you again? You're not sure.

In your life you've memorized a lot of numbers, historical years, important dates but right now the only number you know is Steve's. And you call it. And you wait. You're sure that he'll answer this time.

---------------------------------------------------------

Notes: I've already started working on part 2 (the last part) and I want to give credits to everyone who has written a similar story/ one-shot in the past. This is not my idea, but it's my version and I hope you like it!

Also english is not my first language, so please correct me if I've made some mistakes. And tell me what you think, I would love to know your thoughts on this!!

Have a nice day, love Ana <3

#dustin henderson #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve harrington x reader #stranger things reader insert #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington and robin buckley #mike wheeler #eleven #max mayfield #lucas stranger things #stranger things #stranger things one shot #stranger things imagine

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andreal831 · 9 months

Text

Main Masterlist

updated December 22, 2023

Follow me on Wattpad and AO3 for my full stories!

Follow me on 𝚃𝚒𝚔𝚃𝚘𝚔 for TVDU edits and edits specifically for my stories and on Pintrest.

𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨: 𝙇𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙇𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙞𝙠𝙖𝙚𝙡𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨

►Book 1: The Great War »» ongoing (AO3 & Wattpad) 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟. 𝐈𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧. Humans reveled in the idea of immortality, but those who possessed it were all too aware of the horrors it brought with it. Throughout his long life, Elijah Mikaelson had lost countless people he cared about and at some point, he just stopped caring about anyone outside of his family. So when his brother betrayed him, he was left utterly alone. That is until his best friend returned.

►The Great War Outtakes »» ongoing (AO3 & Wattpad) While Astra and Elijah are on their own adventures taking place in The Great War, the Mikaelsons continue their lives in the French Quarter. Basically, The Great War is getting far too long and there are so many side stories I want to tell.

►Prequel: You're On Your Own, Kid »» ongoing (AO3 & Wattpad) 1035 years before the birth of Hope Mikaelson, her family arrived on the shores of Vinland. With the werewolves to the north and witches to the south, Esther and Mikael had no idea what awaited their family in the new world. Elijah, Niklaus, and Rebekah find themselves growing up in a village on the brink of a supernatural war.

𝙁𝙞𝙭-𝙄𝙩-𝙁𝙞𝙘𝙨 (𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨):

►The Last Sacrifice »» Complete (AO3 & Wattpad) The Hollow had taken so much from them already. Elijah was determined it would not take any more from his family. Alternate ending to Season 4 -- how I believe it should have ended if the writers had stuck closer to certain character traits.

►Don't It Just Break Your Heart »» Complete (AO3 & Wattpad) The Mikaelsons are the strongest creatures that roam the earth and they would stop at nothing to protect their family. Alternate ending to Season 5 -- how it could have ended if the creators weren't rushing to kill off all of our faves just to make Legacies

►Come Home »» ongoing (AO3 & Wattpad) Elijah doesn't remember his past but he knows of the atrocities of the Mikaelsons. So he's considerably surprised to receive a letter from a woman he had briefly met in France postmarked from New Orleans, the city of the Original family. Alternate ending to Season 5 -- how it could have happened if Elijah received Hayley's letter while she was still alive.

Tumblr One-Shots

►The Monster Within »» Complete Hayley seeks Elijah's comfort after a run in with some monsters, only to uncover long buried memories that Elijah would prefer to forget.

►Mischief and Monopoly »» Complete Hayley, Elijah, Klaus, and Cami pass the afternoon teaching Hope the complexities of Monopoly and playing games against her uncle.

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stuckybingo · 7 months

Text

It is time to Resurrect Stucky!

Reclists Part 4

Back in December, the call was put out for fans to create a Stucky Renaissance on Tumblr. We at Stucky Bingo are all about our two favorite centenarians and participants for this event helped to create a series of reclists for all of our fellow Stucky enthusiasts to enjoy.

This reclist is dedicated to Fanfics to the One-Shots. The Fics that give up a great, quick(ish) hit of Stucky. And they are safe to read at work!

#BeGayDoCrime by Peredur (Teen, 548) Steve's getting out of the Army... And out of the closet too

Saké It To Me by Kalee60 (Teen, 8.2k) Being roped into speed dating was not how Bucky imagined spending his Friday night, especially when he realises some of these people might just be a little bit over his pay grade. But then Steve sits down, gorgeous, friendly and full of genuine warmth. Within mere minutes he manages to completely charm the pants off Bucky (or so his future self hopes). So why then, after such a strong connection, didn't Steve call him? Cue some self indulgent pining, a meddling housemate and his redhead accomplice, unintentional saké misuse and a surprise revelation of super proportions.

The Sunrises in Wakanda by Girl_Back_There (General, 2.8k) The sunsets in Wakanda are unrivaled if you ask anyone lucky enough to see them and Bucky agrees. They are truly spectacular, but Bucky prefers the sunrises. The start of a new day in this life he managed to carve for himself since the fall of Hydra.

That time Steve kissed every single Avenger (and also Bucky) by SquaresAreNotCircles (Teen, 9.4k) It’s Clint who bravely breaks the silence by clearing his throat. “So, uh,” he says, “did all of you just get kissed by Captain America, or did I totally hallucinate that because I haven’t had my caffeine shot yet?”

Kiss the cold, white envelope, press my lips against his name by Girl_Back_There (Teen, 2.6k, Warnings: Minor Homophobia) Sitting in a room at the Wakandan Palace King T’Challa graciously put him in, Steve stares at a box. Its contents untouched for over 70 years now. ‘Sargent James Buchanan Barnes’ is all that is on the label. Steve sits and stares at the box of Bucky’s things trying to find the courage to open it. He couldn’t after waking up five years ago. 67 years had passed since Bucky died and it felt like he watched Bucky fall only a few weeks before. He still couldn’t open it even after SHIELD’s collapse into HYDRA two years ago. When Steve found out Bucky was still alive. But he needed to open it now to help his best friend.

Steve's Special Day by endlesstwanted (Teen, 1.8k) How Steve used to celebrate his birthday is very different to how he celebrates it now. The only thing that keeps the same is Bucky right by his side.

I'm Gonna Go, No Matter The Outcome by endlesstwanted (Teen, 2.9k, Warnings: Mild Blood) When Bucky comes back home after getting in a fight, Steve's of course fuming, but it gives them a chance to talk and get closer than they've been before. Every cloud has a silver lining after all.

Waking Next To Him by endlesstwanetd (Teen, 2,2k, Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence) As far as he can remember, Bucky has always hugged Steve searching for warmth and having his own feelings reciprocated. Sometimes they would cuddle to sleep, but Steve rarely woke up next to him. Until he did.

Stucky At Six by Andrea1717 (Teen, 7k) Steve and Bucky are best friends and for their new live show they have to pretend to date. Easy, right?

I'm not Me when You're Away by Tator (Teen, 8k, Warnings: AU: Mafia, offensive language, limb loss from mafia violence) “Didn’t know the Russians took in fags,” Abba sneered as he was drug up from the table. Ivan elbowed him in the back of the head. “You’re lucky he came. Barnes might not have been so merciful otherwise.” or the 5 times Steve kept Bucky from doing his own dirty work and the 1 time he did it for him

Point and Click by Girl_Back_There (Teen, 823) It's James-Freaking-“Bucky”-Barnes and Steve may actually faint when the object of his affection seeks him out.

Spice, spice, baby by nicoline1998enilocin (Teen, 1.2K) It is the first day of the fall season, which is officially Steve's favorite time of the year. From the leaves changing color to getting to wear warm, cozy sweaters, and from the rainy days inside to strolling through New York with Bucky after said rain, he will never get enough of this time of the year.

Perfectly imperfect by nicoline1998enilocin (Teen, 1.4K) Bucky has been stressed from his missions lately, so Steve surprises him with a romantic night at home. Just the two of them and a candle-lit dinner, a massage, and some soft music. That's all Bucky could ever want, and he's very thankful to have someone as sweet and caring as Steve as his husband.

Five Times Steve Ruined My Life + One Time He Was Deemed Acceptable: a memoir by Alpine Barnes (Rogers) by Becassine, britbrit99 (General, 2.6k) I didn’t have the most auspicious start in life. Quickly abandoned by my mother—though who could blame her with five mouths to feed, and barely a dumpster to raid—I had resigned myself to death. My cruel fate. (Or, I would have done, had I had the brains to. I can be forgiven: I was, after all, only two weeks old.) But fate was foiled! My salvation came in the shape of an ex-soldier with a kind smile and blue eyes, with tousled brown hair. Bucky. My Bucky. Otherwise known as a 5+1 from Alpine's POV on Steve and Bucky's dating life. Spoiler alert: she is not impressed.

#stucky #resurrect stucky day #stucky bingo #stucky fanfic #fanfic #sfw fanfic #one shot fanfic

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finallydelight · 2 years

Note

Hi will you do a chapitre about how Jungkook asked Maya out and what they talked about before the morning of when namjoon and hoseok come to his apartment to take him to the studio

Thank u🙂

The Blind Date | Maya Chapter

author’s note: here it is, my darling ! I had fun writing this one, Maya has all the confidence I wish I had, so I enjoy writing her make everyone around her flustered 🫢 I hope you enjoy this chapitre ☺️ and let me know what you think of it, I would love to hear it ❣️

December, 2020

“I’m not doing that, Yugyeom.”

Out of all the ideas she had heard from Yugyeom throughout the years, this was the most ridiculous one so far.

The Got7 member sighed. ''It's just one blind date!'' He was adamant on getting her to agree to this blind date that he had set up for her.

''Did you think about the fact that I'm an idol and that I'll receive a massive amount of hate and death threats for even just being caught on a date?'' Her own members had been caught up in a dating scandal and although the response wasn't too bad, there were many other examples of idols who got literally vilified for simply being in a relationship.

''You dated Seungyoun-hyung and no one found out!'' Yugyeom pointed out, taking another swig from his beer. Maya rolled her eyes at him. ''Oh, yeah! That's just the perfect reason to go, cause that relationship worked out perfectly, didn't it?'' She told him, sarcastically.

The start of her previous relationship went exactly like this. A friend talking her into going on a blind date with someone and Jieun wasn't having it.

''I think you should give it a chance! It's a really nice guy and I think you'll get along great.'' The truth was that Yugyeom had seen how her breakup with Seungyoun had affected her and he thought it was finally the right time for her to start dating again.

Jieun contemplated. ''Tell me something about this guy.'' She asked him, it had been a while since she hung out with someone other than her members or close friends.

''Ji, I don't know if you have ever heard of a blind date, but that's not really how it works.'' His sarcastic comment earned him a slap on the arm. ''You're not expecting me to actually meet up with a total stranger?''

Yugyeom tilted his head. ''Uh, I am, that's the purpose of a blind date.'' He put an emphasis on the 'blind'.

''Oh, come on! If you tell me one thing, I'll actually consider going.'' He shook his head. ''I'll say one thing about him if you promise you'll go.'' Yugyeom raised his eyebrow, awaiting her answer.

Maybe the whole blind date idea wasn't such a bad idea. Yugyeom seemed very sure that this dude was good for her and as much as Yugyeom liked to annoy her, he would never do something if it wasn't in her good interest.

''Alright, I'll go.''

Yugyeom clapped his hands and a big smile appeared on his face. ''Ha! Yes! I'll text him right now!'' He pulled out his phone and typed away, letting this mystery man know that she had agreed to go.

''Oh, so one thing about him…'' Yugyeom thought about something, ''he's the same age as us.'' He figured he had to make this man as vague as possible, not wanting her to know beforehand.

Maya was not impressed. ''That's it? No, I want something useful.''

''That is useful, now you know it's not some old man that you're meeting.''

''You're sure he's not some serial killer, right?'' Maya still had her doubts as she and Yugyeom went up in the elevator, on their way to her blind date's apartment.

Yugyeom chuckled. ''I promise you, he's a good guy.''

''Does he know he's meeting me?'' The closer she got to this mystery man, the more curious she got about his identity. ''He does, he has uh, liked you for a long time.'' The grin on his face didn't escape her.

''Dude, it's not some creepy guy, right? I'm not planning on giving my autograph or anything.'' She truly hoped whoever this person is, doesn't end up being some obsessive fan who would try something she wasn't comfortable with.

Her worries only seemed to amuse her friend. ''Trust me, Ji,'' they arrived at the right floor and stepped out of the elevator, ''he's not gonna ask your autograph.''

They stopped in front of a door and Yugyeom turned to her. ''You ready?'' He asked her, unsubtly trying to hide his smirk.

''I guess.'' Jieun didn't sound too sure, but Yugyeom knocked on the door anyway, immediately walking away. ''Have fun, Ji!''

Before she could say anything back, the door in front of her opened. As soon as she locked eyes with the man in front of her, her mind tells her she should have known it would be him.

''Hi..'' Jeongguk seemed very nervous, his eyes not meeting hers. She smiled at him, finding it quite endearing. ''Hi, I'm Jieun.''

He opened the door a bit wider, inviting her in. ''I kno- uh, I mean- I'm.. I'm Jeongguk.'' He stumbled over his words introducing himself, even though he didn't need to.

''I know.'' She copied his answer, wanting to ease his nerves.

It seemed to work as he finally cracked a soft smile and the tension in his shoulders visibly left. ''You want some slippers or something for your feet?'' Jieun had taken off her heels and was left bare feet.

She looked down at them and gave him a sheepish smile. Jeongguk pulled out a pair of home slippers and put them down in front of her. ''They're my mom's, so they should fit.'' He told her.

''Thank you.'' Jieun took off her heels and put her feet into the slippers, fitting perfectly.

''Uh, thank you for coming, I, uh, really appreciate it.'' Jeongguk thanked her, avoiding eye-contact with her.

Jieun gave him a smile, brushing it off. ''Oh, you don't need to thank me. You should thank Yugyeom, he really talked you up.'' She chuckled, reminding herself she needed to send the guy some flowers later for setting her up on this date.

''What did he tell you?'' Jeongguk motioned for her to follow him through the hallway into his beautiful living room that had an overview of the city.

She answered him as she inspected his home. ''He told me you were the same age as us, you have liked me for a long time and that you definitely wouldn't ask for my autograph.''

At the mention of him having liked her for a long time, Jeongguk's cheeks and ears heated up. He desperately looked around, seemingly trying to find something to which he could change the subject to. ''Oh, well, that's- that's very nice of him.''

''Oh my- let me take your coat.'' It's like he had a list of things to do in his head and he had accidentally skipped that step. Jeongguk moved behind her while she unbuttoned the long coat, he removed it from her and it revealed her black silk dress that she was wearing.

''Wow…''

Jieun turned around upon his words. ''Pardon?''

His mouth fell open a little, having become speechless as he stared into her eyes for the first time that evening. ''You, uh, you look, uh,'' Jeongguk stuttered, ''you look really pretty.'' He managed to get the words out.

''Thank you,'' she glanced down at her dress, ''you don't look too bad yourself.'' Jieun looked him up and down, totally aware he could see her checking him out. Jeongguk was wearing a grey turtleneck that accentuated his broad shoulders and biceps, paired with a simple pair of black trousers.

The blush reappeared on his cheeks and he looked down at his own clothes, remembering Yugyeom begging him to wear something ''that doesn't look like he only wears oversized shit''.

''Uhm, please follow me to the dining room.'' Jieun couldn't help but chuckle as he completely ignored her compliment and moved to the next room.

Jieun was pleasantly stunned when being met by Jeongguk's dining room. He had lit the place up with candles and a fresh bouquet of flowers stood in the centre of the table. ''This is really nice, Jeongguk. Do you always have dinner like this?'' She remarked, making the man laugh and shake his head.

His hand moved to her lower back, guiding her to her seat. Jeongguk pulled out her chair and helped her sit down properly, after which he took the seat across from her. ''Would you like a glass of red wine?''

She nodded at his offer. ''Yes, please.'' At her words, he opened the wine bottle that he had placed on the table before her arrival and opened it, pouring some in her glass and afterwards in his glass.

Jieun raised her glass. ''Cheers.'' Jeongguk seemed surprised, but quickly picked up his glass and they clinked their glasses together. ''Yes, cheers.''

''So…''

''Yeah, so…''

''You've liked me for 5 years?''

Jeongguk choked on his wine as the question left her mouth, causing Jieun to chuckle at his reaction. ''Uhm, well,'' his nervous behaviour returned and he couldn't look her in the eye anymore, ''has it been 5 years already?''

''I must have made a very great first impression on you, I mean that's quite a long time.'' Jieun continued, liking how flustered she was making him.

The flustered man in question looked down at his feet, a shy smile gracing his face. ''I, uh, I guess you did.''

''Were you too scared to ask me out or something?'' She couldn't help but ask him the question, confused as to why it took them this long to go on a date.

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks and ears, her straightforwardness catching him off guard each time. ''Scared might not be the right word, but… you're just very- you know, uh, I guess I was just afraid you would reject me, maybe.'' He admitted, looking away from her again.

''Who says I would have rejected you?''

''Literally everyone I asked for advice told me you would reject me.'' He laughed, taking a sip from his wine. ''I wanted to ask you out last year when our promotions overlapped, but BamBam told me to not even try.'' He confessed, slowly glancing at her reaction.

''Well, most of the time he doesn't know what he's talking about. You're a charming guy.'' Jeongguk sat up straight hearing her words. ''So, if I had asked you out then, you wouldn't have declined to go on a date with me?''

''No, I wouldn't have said yes.'' She told him, shaking her head.

The man in front of her furrowed his eyebrows. ''But- but you just said-''

''I had a boyfriend back then, Jeongguk. I would have rejected anyone.'' Jieun confessed, stifling her laughter at his clueless expression.

He defeatedly put his arm down, accepting her words. ''I guess that's fair.'' Jeongguk interchanged from looking at the table to her. ''I didn't know you were dating someone at the time.''

''Yeah, that's kinda the point of a secret relationship.'' She laughed, playing with the rim of her glass.

''Were you two together for a long time?'' Jeongguk hesitantly asked, not knowing if he was overstepping any boundaries by asking about her past relationship.

Jieun sighed before answering. ''For about a year,'' she thought of something, ''you know, the way he and I met is actually quite similar to this.'' She gestured between her and Jeongguk with her finger.

''Yeah? How so?''

''It was also a blind date set up by a mutual friend, and it was also with a guy who apparently had liked me for a long time. Oh, and just like in this case, I didn't know who I was meeting but they did know they were meeting me.'' The similarities between her blind date with Seungyoun and Jeongguk were hard to ignore.

The only reason why she was so adamant on not going on the date was because of how things ended between her and her former boyfriend. She never doubted his love for her once, yet he still decided to break up with her. Yes, it was because of his mental health at the time, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

''Was it also Yugyeom who introduced you?'' Jeongguk asked, becoming quite curious.

Jieun shook her head. ''No, it was someone else, but Yugyeom is also friend with him, so I guess that counts as well.'' She chuckled.

''Are you hungry? I can get the food if you're ready.'' Jeongguk suggested, already getting out of his chair. ''Yes, that would be nice.''

He send her one bright smile before disappearing into his kitchen. Jieun grabbed her phone from her bag, deciding to send Yugyueom a quick text.

Kim JiJi: you're a genius, Kim Yugyeom

KYUM: you never say that about me

KYUM: you must be enjoying yourself then 😏

Kim JiJi: I am, actually

KYUM: good

KYUM: you should kiss him

KYUM: wait no

KYUM: don't kiss him

KYUM: i think he'll pass out if you do that

Kim JiJi: okay loser

A loud sound of glass breaking made Jieun flinch and she almost dropped her phone in the process. ''Everything okay?'' She yelled out to him, hoping he hadn't hurt himself. ''I'm okay, I just dropped a plate, don't worry!'' Jeongguk yelled back, assuring her that everything was fine. She chuckled to herself, and put her phone away.

''Apparently you really like samgyeopsal.'' Her date walked back in the dining room holding two trays with pork and several different side dishes. He put them down on the table and spread them out, so she could easily reach for all of them with her chopsticks. The grill had already been placed in-between them and Jeongguk turned it on, placing several pieces of the pork belly on it.

She was impressed as Jeongguk sat down again, flattered by the fact that he had most likely asked Yugyeom what she liked to eat. ''This looks great, thank you so much.'' Jieun picked up her chopsticks and put several side dishes on her plate.

''My pleasure.''

As they started eating, Jieun quickly realised Jeongguk and Jihyo had a similar reaction to good food, the angry look on his face after taking a bite from the grilled pork belly bringing her much joy. After many glasses of wine later and finishing their food, the pair had moved to the living room, where Jeongguk had put on a movie that was quickly discarded as their focus was on each other.

''No way! Boa trained you?'' Jeongguk exclaimed, looking at her wide-eyed.

Jieun shook her head. ''No, she didn't train me. Lee Sooman just got her to teach me a few classes and she gave me some feedback, that's all.'' She clarified for him.

''No wonder you're so good.'' The last few hours, Jieun had gotten to meet the real Jeongguk. He had dropped the nerves and actually started flirting back with her. It was probably because of all the wine they had, but still, it was nice.

''I just love performing, you know? Looking into a crowd, seeing people happy and jumping up and down… it's amazing.'' She told him, a smile creeping on her face while talking about her passion.

Jeongguk unconsciously mirrors her smile. ''I feel the same way. I don't care how sick I am or whatever it may be, standing on the stage is a feeling like nothing else.''

''I miss it so much… fucking covid.'' Jieun mumbled, picking up her glass of wine. He chuckled, not used to hearing her curse. ''I know, this was supposed to be a good year.''

''So much has changed… and not just this year.'' Jeongguk said as he finished his wine and poured some more in his glass.

Jieun gave him a confused expression. ''What do you mean?''

''You know, you have all these new and younger groups now- and I just feel like everything has become so toxic and competitive. I know it has been like that for years now, but people can't look each other in the eye now or people make it a problem, making up rumours and all.''

She could tell by the way he was speaking that it had been bothering him for a while and she agreed with him. The amount of rumours that were created, because of meaningless interactions are ridiculous.

''I agree, like me and Baekhyun- you know Baekhyun?'' She quickly asked him and proceeded when he nodded, ''We accidentally touched hands at a music show and SM actually had to make a statement because of all the articles claiming we were dating.''

Jeongguk sighed. ''That's what I mean, it's becoming unbearable. You can't even say something to your friends anymore.'' He was sick of the toxicity of the industry that was created by fans who liked to make up stuff to fit their agenda of hate.

''Exactly!'' Jieun exclaimed, ''I think 2 years ago, Jennie-unnie won on a music show and our promotions overlapped so we were on the stage as well, and I went up to her and gave her a hug, and somehow people were critical of that? No matter what you do, people will make it a problem.'' She rolled her eyes, thinking back about all the times her and Jennie received hate as a result of their friendship.

''It's crazy, isn't it? It's the same for me and my friends, like Yugyeom and Mingyu.'' Jeongguk could relate to her about the distaste that critics expressed over their friendships.

A silence fell upon them, the both of them taking a few seconds to calm themselves down after talking about all that.

Jieun was the first one to start speaking again. ''I'm happy I get to talk to you about this.'' She spoke with such genuineness that had him almost speechless.

Jeongguk moved himself closer to her, to the point where there was no more space left between them. ''Me too, I'm happy I just get to talk to you.''

''What a charmer you.'' She laughed, putting her hand on his thigh. Her move must have sobered him up straight away as he made a weird sound.

Jeongguk scratched his voice before talking. ''Hey, I have a question.''

''Shoot''

''Before Yugyeom ratted me out, did you know that I've had a crush on you?''

Jieun lets the question sink in, her mind going back in the past. She thought about all the times the guy unsubtly stared at her from across the room or how he would look at the ground when greeting her and her members.

She patted his thigh a few times. ''You know, honey, you've never been a very subtle man,'' she started off, seeing him get shy again when the term of endearment left her lips, ''I wouldn't say that I knew you had a crush on me, I just thought you got easily flustered around women and that you just didn't really knew how to talk to us.''

''But I should've known when Jin kept talking about how talented and great you were, when he and I hosted that year-end show together.'' Jieun finished off, suddenly remembering how the oldest BTS member would butter the youngest one up to her.

Jeongguk covered his face with both of his hands, completely embarrassed. ''Oh, no.'' He dramatically exclaimed, making Jieun burst out laughing in return.

''I swear I didn't ask him to do that!'' He defended himself, putting his hands up.

''Yeah, sure, I believe you.'' Jieun did not believe him.

A comfortable silence fell upon them. Jeongguk stared at Jieun's hand that rested on his thigh, while her eyes were focused on him.

''Do you remember the first time we met?'' She hadn't fully heard the question, Jeongguk's face being quite the distraction.

Jieun snapped out of her trance. ''Sorry, what did you say?''

He smiled at her daydreaming. ''The first time we met- do you remember it?''

''I do remember it,'' she nodded, ''how can I forget the blushing guy who could barely get a word out?'' Jieun replied, an amused grin making its way on her face.

He pushed his shoulder against hers, hoping that distracted her from his red face. ''Come on, now.''

''I was- I was just very struck by you, and I didn't want to embarrass myself, but I guess I did that anyway,'' Jeongguk chuckled, ''and you were very sweet to us, and treated us with respect which not a lot of people did at the time, and I just wanted to thank you.''

Jieun was speechless by his words, not expecting him to say something like that. ''I mean, it's the bare minimum really, treating people with respect.''

''Yet, I haven't forgotten it after 5 years.''

She must have been staring at him for not even 10 seconds, but it felt like an eternity had passed before Jieun broke the silence.

''Can I kiss you?''

It was Jeongguk's turn to be speechless, his mouth slightly agape. ''You, uh, what? What?'' He blurted out, not believing his ears.

Her hand that was laid on his thigh moved to his chin, bringing his face closer to hers while she moved forward. ''I asked if I could kiss you.'' Jieun repeated herself, taking notice of him shivering as her breath fanned his face.

Jeongguk timidly nodded his head, not trusting his mouth to convey the right words. With his consent, she closed the distance between them and softly pressed her lips against his.

As he slowly started kissing her back, something clicked inside of him. It was as if he was an unfinished puzzle and she was the last piece that he had been looking for all this time. Kissing her felt like something that he was meant to be doing, it felt self-evident and he didn't want it to stop.

Meanwhile, Jieun wanted to hit herself in the head for not noticing his crush on her way sooner. She could have been enjoying this for years, but no she just thought that he reacted to everyone like that.

Jeongguk didn't know where it came from, but a sudden wave of confidence flew over him. He took a grip of her waist and sat her down on his thighs, so she was straddling him. Despite the desperation he put into the kiss, his hold on her waist was caring and tender.

They both pulled away, coming up for air. Jieun opened her eyes and was met with Jeongguk's eyes that were filled with adoration, she could almost feel it.

''Jieun…'' He choked out, completely out of breath. ''Do you, uh, do you want to stay over? It's quite late and it can be dangerous, you know.''

She cupped his cheeks with both her hands, a soft smile gracing her face. ''Well, if it's too dangerous outside, I'll better stay here then.''

Taglist: @stopeatread @sakuurra @seongwhaffels @cosmicwintr @smh-anon @cixrosie @allthings-fandoms

#maya.twice #kpop oc #kpop au #kpop addition #twice 10th member au #twice au #twice extra member #twice addition #twice oc #twice 10th member #10th member of twice #oc twice #twice added member #jungkook x oc

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grayson10yearslater · 4 months

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📚 Monthly Mod Meta

Every month, the mods are preparing a meta post for you. Here is what we’ve got planned:

How Dick Became a Super Spy (June)

Up already!

All Appearances of Agent 37 (July)

A list of appearances so you can follow along.

Grayson Act I – Minos, Tell Me Who I Am (August)

We’re discussing Nightwing #30 and Grayson #1 to #8 and Annual #1!

Grayson Act II – The Spy War (September)

It’s time for Grayson #9 to #14, #16 to #20 and Annual #2!

Grayson One-Shots: Origins, Lies and Futures End (October)

Grayson: Futures End, Secret Origins #8, Annual #3 and the Special can't be forgotten either.

Grayson Tie-Ins: Agent 37 in the DC Universe (November)

What does Agent 37 do in Midnighter, Starfire and Batman/Superman?

Grayson Tie-Ins: Agent 37 in the Batbooks (December)

Holy Bats! That's a lot. We're taking a look at Batman, Tec, Robin War, and Batman and Robin Eternal!

Grayson After-Grayson (January)

Where has Grayson appeared after the comic ended?

Character Sheets (February)

Who's who in the Grayson Universe?

Respect Agent 37 (March)

Dick’s Feats in Respect Thread Style because he deserves it.

Grayson: A Financial and Critical Success? (April)

How successful was Grayson really?

Grayson (2014) in Fandom (May)

Responses of Fandom were intense! Let's go down the rabbit hole.

Grayson in Context: Dick on Earth-2 (June)

The two comics were published concurrently. Parallels were drawn. It’s the battle of the Graysons!

Especially during the first months, we hope you read along with us! And always feel free to share your opinions in the comments or through reblogs.

📚 Meta and Opinion Pieces

We hope to hear from you too! Write opinion pieces and other meta posts about Grayson (2014).

You are welcome to participate in the Mission and Investigation Challenge with meta. Your word count will be integrated into the Investigation Challenge and, who knows, maybe a target prompt from the Mission Challenge fits the meta you have in mind.

Don't worry about any particular size of the text. It can just be a smol text too, especially if you only want to analyze a certain scene or aspect of Grayson.

If you’d like to write about a topic from the Monthly Mod Meta, please tell us. Maybe you can take over as a guest or you have another approach that will add to our analysis as a separate text!

Make sure to tell us your preferences by filling out the Interest Check.

Thank you to everyone who has already done so. It's great to see you're excited for this event. We're looking forward to your analysis. The Monthly Mod Meta will provide overviews, while you so far want to focus on more detailed questions. A bit of overlap will only aid us, not be to anyone's detriment! 😊

To coordinate the opinion pieces a little, we want to make a group chat with you all.

Sadly, Tumblr still doesn't offer the option, therefore we have chosen Discord. You can make a new account if you wish to stay anonymous among participants but please share your Discord handle with us per an off anon ask. We won't post the asks publicly.

#agent 37 #dick grayson #grayson #the tiger king of kandahar #helena bertinelli #midnighter #meta posts #mod post

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waaayoutofline · 2 years

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Find me under the rain.

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You are having a pretty rough day when a storm hits. With no umbrella, phone or car, you accept the fate of walking under it. But you didnt expect finding someone while getting soaked by the freezing December rain.

Warnings: None. All fluff.

Your eyes stare at the dark clouded sky, shoulders slumped in defeat at the sight. What was once an easy-breezy rain has become a roaring storm. You were stubborn and overline irresponsible, as you had bought the vinyl record of Folklore instead of the very much needed umbrella.

More regret feels in your stomach as you see none of your study group around, all of them being at home by now. With a sigh you wait for some divine miracle, but at the lack of it, you make your mind.Make a run for it and hope that you don’t get a cold. Those final exams were not going to do themselves otherwise.

You push the library doors, grabbing your bag in hopes to make it some kind of protection from the incessant drops of water. Feet jogging down the stairs, a squeak leaves your mouth as the ice cold water of the ground soaks your feet. Great, now you have wet socks.

“This just gets better and better” You grumble. The storm seems to get intense by the second, the now dark brown coat you're wearing doing nothing to repel the chilling bone cold. Your hair sticks to your front, droplets of water travelling all the way down to your neck. Your jumper doesn’t even bother to dry them any more. The air seems to have a personal vendetta on you as it make it difficult for you to move.

The way to your house seems so fucking far. But taking a taxi on a work day at this hours in New York is less possible than winning the lottery. And you ran out of battery, so calling someone to pick you up isn't an option either.The hope of getting home without being utterly covered in water slowly leaves your body, feet slowing down with a defeated sight. You hold back the tears pricking into the corner of your eyes. This day has been the absolute worst. Everything that could go wrong backfired you right on the face.

But then the incessant heavy droplets stop. And you open your eyes, straightening your back. What the…? Heavy breath startles you slightly, making you turn around.

And suddenly it is like all the bad thoughts and feelings leave both mind and body. All the difficulties of today vanishing along the water that streams down the streets. A girl, a little bit taller than you, clutches one knee with her left while holding a deep red umbrella above you with her right. You notice the black polish, and the neat silver rings on her fingers. Her hair is a long and curly, of a brown kinda reddish colour that suits her very well with her deep, forest green eyes. Her skin seems soft, alongside her slightly opened pink lips. You blush and move your eyes.But every single thing about her seems to be equally enchanting. Your sole focus now on this mysterious woman that took your worries away just like that.

“Damn, you are pretty fast, huh?” The blush of your cheeks seems to raise all the way up to your ears, masking them burn at the sound of her voice. Your jaw slackens, and you are pretty sure that you are looking like a total idiot. “I uh…I saw you on the library. You seemed to be having a pretty rough day.” She comments.

Something in her is quite familiar, but you can put your mind to work.

“And then I saw the way you looked at the sky and… well, not that I was looking at you in a creepy way, I would never do that… but not because I don't find you pretty, because I do…” The redhead rumbles, scratching the back of her neck. You are pretty sure your brain cells must be dead by now. The goddess right in front of you thinks you are pretty? “But I’m trailing off, sorry.” She laughs. “ The point is that I would be glad to escort you home. If you want it so, that’s it.”

You think about saying the typical “I don’t want to bother you, or I’ll be fine”, you just met her after all. But something in her makes you trust her. And you couldn’t find to say no, too mesmerized by her.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You say softly, the stranger's shoulders lowering with a relieved sigh. And then she smiles. All the cold you previously felt is gone in an instant. “My house is just around the corner.”

She nods, getting closer so the both of you could get under the umbrella. Your arms touch ever so slightly, making a shiver run all the way through your system. You decided it’s because of the weather, that the erratic beating in your chest is because you ran earlier. She smells sweet, like a hint of cocoa and fresh backed cookies. Everything about her seems to make your heart beat a little faster. The adrenaline, you remind again.

“Hope I didn’t come in a creepy way” She excuses, fidgeting with her index ring.

“Well, my mother have always warned me about bringing strangers home, but she didn't mention that they were as gorgeous as you.” You smile a little shy, feeling adoration at the nervous stutter from.

“Well, the name is Wanda. So you don’t get walked home by a total stranger.” She jokes as the two of you start walking.

“Y/N, so you don't walk a total stranger home.”

You two stay silent after the pleasant interaction. But is no an awkward silence, it was a nice kind, that kind that made you feel at peace, a feeling of very much need comfort pacing the anxiety you had felt not even ten minutes ago. It was nice. Wanda was nice. You're even almost tempted to take a longer route, not wanting this pacific moment to end. Not wanting for her to leave just as quickly as she arrived. It was absurd, really, how much you have attached to her in this ridiculously short amount of time.

But as you stole glances, you had this want, almost need to get to know her.

Unfurtonatley, you two finally made it in front of your door, realizing that the storm started to cease. “Of course that it stops right when I get home…” You mumble. Wanda chuckles, closing the umbrella and stepping ever so slightly from you. And so, you to look at each other awkwardly, neither wanting this to end. Yup. Wanda stands in front of you, and you hate the idea of her leaving. So, gathering all the courage you have, you ask. “Want to come inside? I’ll lend you a towel and something to drink. It’s the least I can do after you shared your umbrella with me.”

“Oh, you don’t own me anything…-” She starts, but you just look at her.

“I know, I just want to. If you want it so, that’s it.” You say, copying her exact same words with a sly smile. Wanda shakes her head in amusement and agrees.

“Alright then.” You smile brightly and let her in, closing the door behind her.

It was awkward at first, Wanda following you shyly, waiting for you on the couch while you went to the bathroom for a change of clothes and a pair of towels for her to dry her humid hair. But then, you quickly star falling on an easy conversation, getting to know each other. And you loved every single second of it.

It’s not a heavy conversation by any means, more like silly question thrown at each other like. This is what you have for now.Se has a brother, a twin, Pietro, and they have recently arrived to New York. Her favorite colour is red, she loves cooking, sitcoms and hot cocoa. She prefers cats than dogs, her favourite singer is Taylor Swift and appreciates star gazing at night, even if in New York was impossible to do so

She also has beautiful eyes, her nose scrunches a little when she laughs, and she fidgets with her rings when she gets excited by something she likes. Not that she tells you, you just notice. You seem to notice everything about her.

Hours go by, two now cold cups left on the coffee table. You company to her door, trying to not let your disappointment show. You know it was an act of courtesy, but you feel like it was more than just that. And when Wanda finally starts leaving, that same anxiety of before strangles your heart even harder now. As you look at her like a sad puppy would, you notice. You ran fast to the living room, grabbing it and heading outside in no time.

“Wanda, wait! You're forgetting your umbrella!” You yell. She turns around and gives you a wink.

“Guess we’ll have to meet again for you to return it, then!” And just like that, she’s gone. Your mouth is slightly open, softly laughing at her smugness. As you go inside, a smile piece of paper slowly falls down, sliding right in front of you. You swear the ink was red for an instant before returning to black.

A phone number. Your cheeks are starting to hurt.

Yeah, it settled. You are absolutely infuriated with this mysterious girl.

#wanda maximoff #mcu #fanfic #wanda x reader #fluff #trash post #marvel blurb

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avaford2009 · 25 days

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Here are the lyrics of 9 original songs written by Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez from upcoming social media art and literature platform Dreamworks’ Princess Amelia and the Pied Piper!

Welcome to Hamelin (Parody of "Welcome to Rosas" from "Wish") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose, and Citizens of Hamelin

Amelia: Welcome to Hamelin! Come on, come this way! Where the greatest creations are all on display There's no other place just as full of surprise Where your dreams and your reality can collide

You wanna dance on beat? Or to have hair touch down to your feet? Go to outer space? Well, hey, you've come to the right place

Amelia and Citizens of Hamelin: 'Cause here in the city of Hamelin You can turn all your wanting to wishing No "what-ifs" and no "wonders" Oh here, in the city of Hamelin It's unlikely that you'll be unhappy with so much to discover

A home for me, for you, and all of us The city of Hamelin

So like, we have Pied Piper as you told And he plays the flute five years ago With rid of the rats and led the Weser River to drown No, no, no, I'm serious! But he is kindness

He's even like himself with a twist

Hamelin Townsperson Female: And someone that I'd like to kiss

Amelia: Oh, dear! For a magical wish And there you have it (Poof! It's a swish!)

Ooh and hey, did I mention when you here in any age You here to part of audition in a stage And he agree or disagree, every person he acquires And once a month, he approves someone's for desire It could be you someday, or for me (Ooh, I can't wait!)

Hamelin Townsperson Man: Does it hurt?

Hamelin Townsperson Boy: Do you cry?

Amelia: Oh! No, and you won't even miss it when you say goodbye

A home for me, for you, and all of us The city of Hamelin

I Almost Remember (Once Upon A December) (From "Anastasia") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose

Amelia: Dancing bears, painted wings Things I almost remember And a song someone sings Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm Horses prance through a silver storm Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory...

Chorus: Ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ah-ahh

Ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ah-ahh

Amelia: Someone holds me safe and warm Horses prance through a silver storm Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory!

Far away, long ago Glowing dim as an ember Things my heart used to know Things it yearns to remember

And a song someone sings...

Once upon a December

This Journey To The Past (From "Anastasia") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose

Amelia: Heart, don't fail me now Courage, don't desert me Don't turn back now that we're here People always say Life is full of choices No one ever mentions fear Or how the world can seem so vast On a journey to the past!

Somewhere down this road I know someone's waiting Years of dreams just can't be wrong Arms will open wide I'll be safe and wanted Finally home where I belong! Well, starting now I'm learning fast! On this journey to the past!

Home, love, family There was once a time, I must have had them too Home, love, family I will never be complete until I find you!

One step at a time One hope, then another Who knows where this road may go? Back to who I was On to find my future Things my heart still needs to know!

Yes, let this be a sign Let this road be mine Let it lead me to my past And bring me home... at last!

Life's Too Short (From "Frozen") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose and Judy Kuhn

Amelia: I came all this way today to give us a fresh start But now that you're like "wow" It's all like warm in my heart

Goldie: I'm sure glad you like it sis, 'cause this is the real me You have no idea how great it feels to be free

Amelia: We've been falling out for way too long, so let’s forget who’s right

Goldie: And forget who’s wrong

Amelia and Goldie: Okay!

Goldie: Why don’t you stay, there’s room for family in my court

Amelia and Goldie: Cause life’s too short!

Amelia: To always feel shut out and unloved by the sister I long to know

Amelia and Goldie: Life’s too short!

Goldie: To never let you celebrate me, the future queen of Hamelin of gold

Amelia: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Amelia and Goldie: I never understood, but now I do Life’s too short to miss out on a sister like you

Amelia: (spoken by Mae Whitman) So you’ll come back, then.

Goldie: (spoken by Florence Pugh) Back?

Amelia: To thaw the fjord. It’s frozen over, no one can get in or out?

Goldie: Oh.

Amelia: Sooo....

Goldie: (scoffs in disbelief) I don’t believe you!

Amelia: What? I just assumed that you'd have to...

Goldie: That I'd shove on the gloves, that’s how your story ends?

Amelia: It does! It's just like it was, except for we’ll be best friends

Goldie: So that’s been your plan to force me back in a cage?!

Amelia: Whoa, whoa! Don’t get upset let’s get back on the same page

Goldie: Gee, thanks for coming up to see the place And showing off your mastery of tact and grace Okay! Run down the hill and spill my secrets, make a full report! Bye-bye!

Amelia: Wait!

Goldie: Cause life’s too short!

Amelia: There it is! The door you’d love to slam in my face! You did well there, for a spell, but now you’re back in the same place Kick me out if you want, but I’m the only one who Is not one hundred percent convinced the prophecy’s you!

Goldie: (gasps) You can think whatever you want 'cause I don’t care You’re a fool who married a stranger!

Amelia: That is so unfair!

Amelia and Goldie: I swear I’m through with taking your unshaking sisterly support!

Amelia: Support!

Goldie: Support!

Amelia and Goldie: HAH! Life’s too short!

Amelia: To let you treat the people down there just as coldly as you always treated me

Goldie: La la lalala laaaa!

Amelia and Goldie: Life’s too short!

Goldie: To listen to a reckless fool who only ever sees the things she wants to see!

Amelia: You don’t know me...

Goldie: You have no idea...

Amelia and Goldie: What I've been through! Because of you Life’s too short to waste another minute! Life’s too short to even have you in it! Life’s too short!

Amelia: (spoken by Mae Whitman) I've been so wrong about you!

Goldie: (spoken by Florence Pugh) You?! You've been so wrong about everything!

Amelia: Maybe you are the prophecy!

Goldie: I am NOT the prophecy!

And This Is The Thanks I Get?! (From "Wish") Lyrics, Song by Judy Kuhn

Goldie: I can't help it if mirrors love my face It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space Peep the name, I'm magnificent I put the "I" in "omnipotent" I'm passionate, I'm not petulant Someone praise me for my benevolence Uh, just look, ha-ha I'd give the clothes off Benito's back If you really needed that I'd be the first one to volunteer Henry If your home were to crumble Or if you were in trouble

I let you live here for free And I don't even charge you rent I clean up all your messes And I'm always there when you need to vent I give and give and give and give You'd think they'd all be content And all I really want is just a little respect

And this is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) This is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) And this is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) And this is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da)

"You're so brilliant" Ah, that's the least you could say There's more, admit it "You're cute and strong and bold and brave, " thanks See this kingdom? I built it up And you still complain? Ungrateful much? Mm, are you sure that you're not the prob? I'd love to see you try and do my job, oh-ho!

I granted fourteen wishes last year Come on, that's a high percent And now you're questioning your king? The disrespect I just underwent You know I always got your back Yeah, really though, it's no sweat Since the day you were born and the day that we met

I didn't wanna do this I swore I'd never do this But I'm hypnotized by how these pages flip 'Cause I refuse to have my power stripped A potion, a spell, a summon, a curse? Anything to make that light reverse To this book, I don't wanna be tethered, but Desperate times call for desperate measures Brr, where was I? Oh, yeah

There's a traitor in this town And still I remain unbent Come out now, explain yourself I'm sure it's all just an accident Well, whoever finds them first Now, that's a wish well spent Honestly, keeping you safe should be worth every cent

And this is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) This is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) And this is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) This is the thanks I get? (Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da) Oh, this is the thanks I get?!

I Make This Wish (From "Wish") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose and Dreamworks

Amelia: Isn't truth supposed to set you free? Well, why do I feel so weighed down by it? If I could show them everything I've seen Open their eyes to all the lies then Would they change their minds like I did? But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down" But how can I when I've already started runnin'? Oh, this is where we've been, but it's not where we belong And I may be young, but, I know I'm not wrong

So I look up at the stars to guide me And throw caution to every warning sign If knowing what it could be is what drives me Then let me be the first to stand in line So I make this wish To have something more for us than this So I make this wish To have something more for us than... this!

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah! Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah! More than this, oh-ah-ah-ah!

I never knew I needed room to grow Yeah, I did what I was told when someone told me "No" Now I've got all of this freedom in my bones But I've still got the lid on, so it doesn't overflow 'Cause I've got reservations and hesitations On where I should even begin! I'm past dipping my toes in But I'm not, no, I'm not past diving in! If I could just be pointed in any given direction On where to go and what to do My legs are shaking, but my head's held high The way you always taught me to...

So I look up at the stars to guide me And throw caution to every warning sign I'm sure there will be challenges that find me But I can take them on one at a time! So I make this wish To have something more for us than this So I make this wish To have something more for us than... this!

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah! (So I make this wish) Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah! (To have something more) More than this, oh, ah-ah-ah!

So I make this wish To have something more for us than this!

Let It Go (From "Frozen") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose

Amelia: The sun glows yellow on the mountain tonight Not a footprint to be seen My life has been an isolation And it fits like I'm the queen

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore Let it go, let it go Turn away and slam the door I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all It's time to see what I can do To test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free

Let it go, let it go I am one with the wind and sky Let it go, let it go You'll never see me cry Here I stand and here I stay Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast I'm never going back, the past is in the past

Let it go, let it go And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That orphan girl is gone! Here I stand in the light of day Let the storm rage on! The cold never bothered me anyway!

Let It Go (Reprise) (A Fanmade song from "Frozen") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose

Amelia: The snow glows white on the clouds today Not a fingerprint to be seen A kingdom of isolation And it looks like I'm the empress

The chill is howling like this swirling wind inside Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows you tried Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl I always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!

Let it go, let it go And you'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That crazy girl is gone Here you stand in the light of ray Let the hurricane rage on The wind always bothered you anyway

I Make This Wish (Reprise) (From "Wish") Lyrics, Song by Ariana DeBose

Amelia: So I look out at the stars just like me And I'm begging you to see this as a sign 'Cause I know that if you choose to stand beside me I'll be greater than all your magic flute combined

So I make this wish So I make this wish This wish, this wish

To have something more for us than... this

Chorus: Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah

Amelia: I've had generations of expectations Wondering why, wondering when I'm past dipping my toes in I know it's do or die, it's sink or swim

You were confusing my promises for protection But I know what I've gotta do Hope unchanging, with my wish held high The way you've always taught me to

So I look out at the stars just like me And throw caution to every warning sign What you do in this moment is defining And I can take it on if I'll align!

So I make this wish To have something more for us than this So I make this wish To have something more for us than this!

Chorus: Oh-oh, oh-oh! Ah-ah-ah!

Coming this Fall to a social media art and literature platform near you!

#dreamworks animation #dreamworks princess amelia and the pied piper #princess amelia and the pied piper #amelia #princess amelia #pied piper #the pied piper of hamelin #kristen anderson lopez #robert lopez #harry gregson williams #original songs #original score #2d animation #3d animation #watercolor #cgi #dreamworks pictures

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