#hope this made vague sense

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 12 thoughts

so. we must return to see what is going to happen to cassandra and mulder and scully!!! and also spender and diana and CSM!! but they’re of less importance to me!!! because mulder and scully are my best friends!!

i am anticipating: some angst, a spender death or exile, a bizarre plot point with krycek that will never again be addressed, and mulder trusting diana despite all signs saying he should absolutely not. and me yelling at my screen while that goes down. AND maybe some more scully diving into her trauma from the abduction. and CSM somehow making it out unscathed. or only mildly scathed. 

post-episode thoughts: this episode pissed me off and gave me a headache.

also, re: my predictions- i got a bingo.

let’s go!!!

omg, my laptop thinks i’m on s7 because i somehow let a bunch of episodes play all night... LMAOOO!!! it wants me to watch 7x03- GIRL!!! we are not there yet!!! do not rush me!!!

we open with mulder narrating- a key feature of these mytharc episodes- over a photo of his father and CSM. and again, i still cannot tell which is supposed to be which, because they do not look at all like any of the versions of the characters we have been previously introduced to. unless i wasn’t paying attention when he showed that picture from his scrapbook, and these are the same actors that featured in that brief shot. in which case: i apologize.

is he burning the photo??? or is that just a fun fire overlay to indicate the dramatic nature of the subject matter? he’s talking about the generation of his father being hardened by war.

bro just used the term “hurly-burly” seriously in a sentence. i think i need him.

omg!!! i see younger CSM now!! from the 70’s!!! and his buddies from the syndicate!!! did they put modern CSM's actor in a bunch of makeup to achieve this look? or did they have another guy about 20 years younger with a similar face shape on standby? fascinating questions are being raised here…

younger CSM is presenting an american flag to the aliens. and they are just little guys. they don’t look scary at all. must be those are what they look like in their raw form. that is, when they’re not shapeshifting. hmm…

just little dudes. intent on colonization. but they look so... cartoonish.

much to ponder. is victory the absence of defeat, as mulder claims the syndicate mistakenly believed?

YAY FOX MULDER FBI BADGE :D yay blurry sequence of them opening the door holding guns! intro time!!!

there hasn’t been a change in the display text in a while. usually we only get that for mytharc stuff, so i was lowkey expecting it today. i guess one must expect the unexpected. and not expect the expected. amen.

back to cassandra begging to be shot in mulder’s apartment!!! while scully is yelling!! 

but the door is broken down before he can make a choice on if he should shoot or not!! there are people in hazmat suits entering his place!! are they spraying our agents?? is cassandra somehow a contamination threat?? or is this simply an excuse to take her?

these people are from the CDC!! and the agents and cassandra are going to be taken into custody over a contagion of unknown origin!! is that diana in the hazmat suit telling them this?!? or just some random person? because why would diana be with the CDC?

mulder sadly showers in a sad quarantine facility. and so does scully. but they don’t seem to be looking at each other.

OH! he just looked down at her. THEY’RE LOWKEY INSPECTING EACH OTHER, LMAO. now. i imagine that they’re trying to see if there is any sort of contagion on each other. but it would be funny to imagine otherwise. gaze upon the sad showering naked body of your partner. let that eye contact do the talking.

(still thinking about this the next day as i edit my notes. i will need to ponder this moment for a few decades. guys, you don't have time to be flirting right now. put a pin in it. circle back.

also, i can imagine nothing less romantic. they've seen each other naked a bunch of times now, and it's always been for decidedly un-sensual reasons. in clinical-adjacent settings. how strange it must be to see your crush half or barely dressed with regularity, but never in a romantic light. is it ethical to steal glances at each other while the government takes you hostage? so much to ponder)

and then they are buzzed with some weird machines. scully wants to know who will tell them what this is about!! and her wet hair is SO CUTE. OH MY GOD. i need to emphasize how CUTE it is. i’m sorry she is in distress; i genuinely apologize. but. i’m. gonna embarrass myself over here. 

mulder asks where they are, and scully says probably fort marlene. which is so cool of her. she can guess which secret quarantine facility they were transported to based on their travel time. shoutout to scully. with wet hair. locked in this sad little cell with mulder.

and it *is* diana who comes in!!!! she says that she is very sorry, but cassandra might have contracted an organism that makes her blowup. which scully clearly thinks is the stupidest thing she has ever heard, LMAO. 

diana, you're literally not even in the hazmat suit anymore. clearly you don't even believe this nonsense. nor have you made an attempt to indicate you do. i'm crying. "okay, you guys might have a super secret alien blowing up disease, so we'll need to take you far away from others for their protection, but let me come on in and join ya" ijbol

diana says that she just HAD to take cassandra, and scully is calling her nonsense out- she was in a hospital for days!! no one was sick!! but mulder is trying to interrupt. SIT DOWN, MAN. 

OH, DO NOT SNAP AT HER, MULDER!!! diana is gonna piss me tf off. what does scully being suspended from her position at the FBI have to do with her being a medical doctor and knowing that you’re full of absolute nonsense?!?!?

diana just HAD to get that dig in there.

SCULLY GETS UP AND WALKS AWAY, LMAOOOO. do NOT fuck with her.

she was so mad she had to leave AND they have no clothes. truly a terrible situation to find yourself in.

“mulder, this stinks. and not just because i think that woman is a… (she looks at him shuffling around) well, i think you know what i think that woman is” <- LMAOOOOOO

“no, actually, you hide your feelings very well”

giggling. a little bit. and not a lot bit. because i’m still angry at him for snapping at her. 

there is something very funny about scully being unable to conceal her disdain. poised and polished scully can't hold her tongue. i find it endearing.

apparently, skinner heard spender make the phone call to the CDC. scully thinks it’s nonsense- it’s a fancy kidnapping, and it’s remarkable that cassandra was well. mulder points out she did come to his apartment and asked to be killed. but she said that was because people were after her, and if they got her the world would end, not because she had spontaneous combustion disease. which i feel is an important distinction.

scully says cassandra wanted to be killed because she wanted the testing to stop- the same testing that happened to her :( and mulder says she’s "the one"

krycek is in new york city, talking about medical records with CSM. hmm. what is he doing there?

no one can decide how to pronounce cassandra’s name, lmao. cah-sahn-dra or cah-SAND-dra. the syndicate says that when the aliens learn of her, colonization will begin, and so regardless of how you say her name, they have to kill her now.

but CSM says no! he says let cassandra be turned over!!! save ourselves!!

“bill mulder was against this” well. y’all had him killed. so. what do you care what he thinks?

“bill mulder sacrificed his only daughter because he knew this day would arrive”

i had kind of thought that the whole “bill mulder sacrificing samantha” thing was a coverup for a totally random and tragic accident, but this confirms, i suppose, that my assumption was incorrect. i guess they also mentioned that in FTF. hmm. not sure which interpretation is more poignant. i do kinda like the idea that she was the favorite, though, and that is why our mulder stayed behind. he wanted to save her. and left him to pick up the pieces. it's an angsty thought to dwell on.

CSM asks what choice they have “if we want to see those we sacrificed return to us” <- did they ALL sacrifice people?? as an agreement to not snitch?? so bill mulder wasn’t the only one who had to do so?? there are many implications here….

back at fort marlene, mulder is in some very ill-fitting clothes, yelling around for shoes that fit him. he sees someone in the distance and runs after. is he being lured into a trap?

peeeek into that door, strange, tall man. this woman says she can’t be seen with him. IT’S MARITA??? OH MY GOSH!!!

i was wondering if we would ever see her again!!!!

she looks so sick. so, so, horribly sick. she says they have done terrible tests on her. new tests, with the alien virus and the vaccine. to try and buy time against the colonists. and they couldn’t buy enough time, because cassandra spender happened.

she says if the aliens learn of cassandra, there will be no stopping of the plans. and she leaves. 

woah… an unexpected cameo on her behalf. i feel very bad for her. may she make a full recovery and return to doing whatever it is she does, exactly. sneak about.

spender rushes into a room with diana to find his mother!! she’s hooked up to a million wires. she wants to know why they’re keeping her here. and spender says they’re keeping her safe from dad!!! and there won’t be anymore tests!!!

she says he doesn’t understand, but he insists he does. and she says he has to let her go, he has to let them hurt her, or everyone dies. she begs and begs, but he leaves. 

knock at the gunmen’s door!! who goes there? has frohike always had a ponytail? IT’S MULDER!! but is it really him?? did he really break out?? or is it an alien?

scully called him here!!! she has information on diana!!! and he doesn’t want to hear it!! 

she says he’s being manipulated by her, and that he knew her in the past, but he doesn’t anymore. if he won’t listen to her, may he please listen to his only friends.

oh. this isn’t going to go well. 

there are no records of her in europe for 7 years. and she took WEEKLY TRIPS TO AND FROM TUNISIA?? is she with the bee people?? she was visiting every european chapter of the UFO network (MUFON) and collecting data on the abductees!!!

he says she’s reaching…. omfg… BRO. you believed in the CHUPACABRA.

yes. guilt him with the story of your abduction, scully. remind him how he couldn't protect you. rub it in. make him realize.

if cassandra is the critical test subject, there had to be others!!! and why has diana, of all people, been assigned to her?! and why is there no information on any of the things she has been doing for the last 7 years? and why is she suddenly back in his life??

OH SHIT!! he still won’t believe her. the gunmen look around awkwardly…

“well, then i can’t help you anymore” <- GET HIS ASS!!

“scully, you’re making this personal” YOU TRUST YOUR EX OVER HER?? YOUR PARTNER OF HOW MANY YEARS NOW?!? YEAH, I WOULD BE MAKING IT PERSONAL TOO!!!!

“because it IS personal, mulder. because without the FBI, personal interest is all i have. and if you take that away, then there is no reason for me to continue” <- YES!!! YOU TELL HIM!!!!! WALK AWAY!!!

augh. this is so frustrating. why can’t he open his EYEBALLS?! and SEE!! and i don’t believe for a second that scully will just leave him to it. she will want to save cassandra. and get herself in so much more trouble in the process. and try to save the world, of course. while he sits there and drags his stupid feet in their stupid too small shoes. so yes. leave his ass. do it by yourself if you have to.

mulder is going to watergate. well. why do that? is he gonna meet diana? oh god. yes. he is. he knocks at her door. 

he takes out a lock pick when she doesn’t answer and just. goes in there. i guess now he’s serious about getting results. she seems to have a nice place. he finds cigarettes. and some bras. 

but the door opens!!! and in walks CSM!!!!

mulder has his gun pointed at him!!!

this has to be all the proof he needs!!!! if CSM is here, clearly they are working together for nefarious purposes!!! LOOK!!! USE CONTEXT CLUES, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

CSM caught mulder going through the drawers, and says he has a lingerie fetish which is crazy. damn. low blow from the guy who made his career on low blows.

OHHHH... mulder pulls him up to a sofa, has the gun right at his forehead, and says he has nothing to lose. 

“i remember looking over a gun barrel at you once before, agent mulder” <- YES SO DO I!!! and it was amazing. love when he would burn the world down to avenge scully. even if he chose to find peace and say goodbye to her instead of resorting to violence. remember how loyal he was?!

“you couldn’t pull the trigger then. what makes you think you can now?” (he cocks the gun) LMAOOOO. fuck around and find out.

but CSM says he came here looking for his son. because he has betrayed him, and joined mulder's side. “that presumes my cause is wrong” “oh, it is, agent mulder, it is”

CSM is laughing as mulder says he’s not the one using innocent lab rats. he says his father was against it, too. the lone dissenter. but he came to his senses and gave up samantha. 

mulder says you FORCED him to do that, he didn't want to! but CSM laughs again, saying he’s wrong. and we jump back to 1973. “that was your father’s objection: that we would ally ourselves with the alien colonists”

so he bought them some time, i guess? so they could try and come up with a way to defeat them?

“you put those lives on hold so that you alone could survive”

“no, agent mulder, so YOU could. that’s exactly what your father failed to realize. he railed at us, and our plans, even as the process has begun” hmm…. hmmmmm….

and then we see the syndicate from 1973, and a ton of children walk in!! CSM says they agreed to painful sacrifices. including cassandra!!! he gave the aliens his wife!!! so they all had to give someone up as insurance they wouldn't rebel, i suppose.

mulder is furious they sent them away like things, but CSM says it was the right thing to do, so they would come back to them. and the kids are shown crying as the aliens come to fetch them. including samantha.

mulder calls him a liar. he points out that she was taken in front of him, not in some hangar. but CSM says that was because bill didn’t realize that he also had to give up a child, as the aliens demanded. it was the only way they could get THE ALIEN FETUS??

WHERE DID THE FETUS COME FROM???!

they needed the fetus to get the alien genome to make the hybrid- the new race who would survive the holocaust. so he could survive. and live to see his sister. 

mulder is furious. he sits down. and asks if CSM has succeeded. he says they did in spite of themselves, as the plan was only to buy time; they never thought they would actually come up with a solution. and when mulder asks about the vaccine, CSM says it was his father’s idea. but it’s too late, and the colonization is going to begin.

a state of emergency will be declared. due to the bee disease. yes, we have been over this. 

i am only halfway through the episode and i have taken SO many notes. i feel this is a good place to check in and gather my thoughts. 

how do i feel about this world building? well, i don’t know whether or not to believe it, to start. but it feels…. idk. too neatly put together. also, again, i ask: where did the fetus come from? did i miss something? am i silly?

hmm. idk. maybe it’s just that i don’t watch this show for the whole alien colonization subplot, so it doesn’t feel super interesting. i guess it is kind of neat to learn about why all the choices that have been made have been made, and to feel those mysterious undercurrents bubbling beneath the surface, but getting the answers directly feels kinda cheap. and i don’t buy for a second that CSM was doing all of these terrible things for the right reasons. don’t try and make me feel bad for him. not gonna work, buddy. it all fits together too neatly.

i guess now we should go back to the plot at hand, which, shall i remind us all, is going on IN diana’s apartment.

CSM says he must hand over cassandra and the colonization will begin. and mulder cannot stop it now, or else he will never see his sister again. 

“it’s what your father realized. it’s what you’ll realize as your father’s son. or die in vain with the rest of the world”

okay. i feel like i’m not getting something, because why would mulder live if everyone else dies?? did his father somehow agree to spare him when he gave them samantha? and by “spare” him, we of course just mean he will survive to get turned into the alien slave race, right? because the vaccine isn’t ready yet. or at least not available to the masses. so the aliens will kill everyone but spare the syndicate and their families and make them slaves?? and why not just make everyone slaves then?? it sounds like they'd get more done that way. what do they even want to do with earth??

girl. who knows?

CSM hands him a paper, saying to save her, and save himself. and then he leaves. mulder is perplexed. but so am i. so i guess we’re matching.

spender comes to the syndicate place in new york!! looking for his father!!! and who does he find but krycek!!! who says he’s gone. and they aren’t coming back. they went to west virgina, where they will begin medical preparations to receive the hybrid genes.

okay. that clears up part of my confusion. i guess i didn’t realize that genes were transferable. but also, they did transfer them into cassandra. but i thought that was only focused on women? or was the reason they only chose women so they could get a two-for-one by experimenting on them to make full alien hybrid adults and also make the alien hybrid children? 

sigh. does anyone know what’s going on?

also, why isn’t krycek there in west virginia with them? what is he planning?

he says CSM went to get cassandra, and that his doctors are already looking at her. spender thinks he has her locked away, but. alas. krycek says she’s probably being prepped as they speak. 

cassandra is being swarmed by doctors. and she is screaming and screaming as they drug her. i find myself genuinely terrified. and CSM walks in, saying he needs a few minutes. she calls him the biggest bastard of all. she’s crying, saying the others never question his authority, even though he’s a coward. 

he wants to talk about the future, not the past. he says they’re here now because of what he’s done. but for so many years, she didn’t understand it was all him. he says he ordered the tests, but he didn’t want to harm her- he wanted to save her and their son. 

so what i'm hearing here is "i am very sorry i spent all that time torturing you, but i did it to save the elite few. and i'm not really that sorry" which is... a choice?

she says you can never save spender, because he knows what CSM has done to her…

wow. normally i like to add my own thoughts to these recounts of events, but it’s going too fast for me to even gather them. the minute i have formulated a thought, another thing has happened and takes its place.

there is only one way to save spender, she says. but CSM says he can’t kill her. and he runs away. 

diana comes back to her apartment and finds mulder. he says he came here looking for evidence. she swears that she is loyal to him and the x files. lying through her TEETH.

mulder says he found no evidence of her being a traitor, but he says fate found him. he found CSM. and he says that he knows he must give up so the ones he loves can survive. 

don’t touch him queen. she takes the paper from his hand. “that’s where we need to be if we want to survive it” <- HE WANTS TO BRING HER?!? this has to be a trap, right?

(after pondering this, i think him bringing her with him to the end of the world site makes sense. mulder always wants someone to save. so yes, he would bring the woman whose apartment he broke into with him when the end of the world arrived. but still. the optics of it, man. bringing her. trusting CSM's story. after everything he has done.

let's say yes, the end of the world is soon. and you won't go try and bring your mom with you? okay, maybe she's too far away, and that is very sad, because you have to go now. what about your best friends who live right nearby? you don't want to bring them? you want to bring this woman who clearly despises you, sabotages your work, torments you and your partner, and is working with your mortal enemy, who you have previously described as the devil?

i guess that is his thing. he needs to feel like he can save someone, because he couldn't save his sister. and maybe learning that the world is about to end provokes in you a sense of despair. but to hear him say he needs to give up... that is just. so deeply unlike him. what is he thinking? why doesn't he want to go down swinging?

the whole thing just... man. made me frustrated. like, do i know this mulder? or did he get swapped with some other dude?)

no, don’t kiss him, diana. i don’t want to see that. okay. whatever. you can’t hear me, i guess.

spender is going back to fort marlene, where he does not find his mother. but he does find marita!!! she asks for his help!!! he says he doesn’t know her,,, but she knows where they’re taking his mother. and how.

and she knows his name…. she says he has to trust him. huh. CSM must have spoken about him before. i wonder what he had to say.

ew, they're getting the alien fetus of mysterious origins out. man. i didn’t want to see, like, any of this. put the fetus in the pressure cooker looking thing, why don't you? can you just… thaw him out??

but the woman who wouldn’t get mulder shoes walks in while the thawing takes place. OHHHH!!! the eyeballs!!! scraped off the face!!! she’s one of the rebels!!!!

do we cheer? has crisis been averted?

mulder calls scully, and she says she was just calling him. oh... :( she still wanted to talk to him after the earlier outburst

he says he’s with diana, and they’re going to come get her. but she wants to go find cassandra!!! mulder says it’s no use, but she’s going there whether he comes or not. and “there” is the potomac yards, because spender called her and told her that's where she is being held.

lmao. don’t let him get you down, queen. you must save the day. alone if you must. this is not fair, but it is the scully curse. 

god. again, the optics. mulder was really going to try and ascend to the alien apocalypse with his ex AND the woman he recently declared his love for by his side. and let everyone else on the planet die. mulder. use your brain. this does not make you look like a great guy.

mulder says he’ll be there, and sends diana ahead to west virginia. good on him for choosing hope?? i guess? a little late, but better than never.

well, they’re now chasing a train. and scully is FLOORING IT. ooo, i didn't know she could drive crazy like that! she angles the car across the train tracks!!!! 

mulder gets out and they shoot the train together!!! the train brakes…. and they run!!!

NOOO!! scully’s CAR!!! it got ran over by a TRAIN!!!

i hope she has good insurance 💔

the syndicate and their family members are going to the hanger to get beamed up, i suppose. when someone approaches our agents. IT’S SKINNER!!!! he wants to know what the hell is going on.

oh, skinner, i didn’t realize how badly i wanted to see you, but now that there is a big smile on my face, i know it to be so.

yeah. get in the backseat, mulder. let scully take shotgun. atone for your crimes.

who is arriving at the hangar….? the syndicate goes to investigate. it’s cassandra on the stretcher. with CSM. 

he wants to know where krycek is!! and i do, too!! he’s at fort marlene, stalking about. is he looking for marita?! will they be reunited?! are they still together?

krycek cannot find the alien fetus!!! he is furious!!! where did it go?!

spender calls out to him. he can’t get past security- they won’t let him remove a patient. and look! it’s marita that spender has with him!!! oh, this is an uncomfortable reunion between krycek and marita, who we last saw kissing passionately. his jaw drops.

krycek calls spender a sorry son of a bitch, saying the rebels are going to win. they took it. marita is shocked at this news, but spender just wants to know what “it” is. and can you blame the guy? he just got thrown into all of this.

diana pulls up at the hangar, and sees CSM. why is there music swelling between them? what is their relationship?

oh. the hangar is opening. but the syndicate didn’t send a message to the aliens!! so who goes there?

diana and CSM start to escape. and it seems that normal people are emerging from the hangar??? diana and CSM drive away!!!

but they aren’t normal people!!! they’re the faceless rebels!!! surrounding the syndicate!!! with their fire sticks!!! 

(fire roars and people scream)

is.... that the end of the syndicate?

kersh is looking at photos of the burnt bodies that skinner handed him. he says the loss of life is beyond words. and spender is there, too. kersh says he cannot imagine how it must be, losing his mother.

oh, now i feel bad for him. he even got kersh to use a kind tone.

spender says he is responsible for those deaths!!! also mulder is here! and scully, too! 

he says the agents might have prevented the terrible attacks!!! kersh's kind tone doesn't last long.

HE INTERRUPTED KERSH??? OMFG???

spender says it’s his fault the agents were suspended, and kersh ought to do everything he can to get them back on the x files. far worse can and will happen. 

spender gets up and leaves, saying he will pack up his things.

“you have answers now? why didn’t i hear about those answers before?”, kersh asks mulder

“i’ve had answers for years” 

“then why didn’t we hear about them?”

“no one ever listened” <- WELL!!! get his ass.

he says the people burned themselves, from choices made by men long ago who thought they could sleep with the enemy. 

kersh doesn't know wtf this means, and scully says. well. he's probably right. so just go along with it.

spender tells CSM to get out of his old office. he’s holding the photo of him and bill mulder!!! he says he was a good man and a friend who betrayed him. 

he said he came here hoping his mother wasn’t right. he hoped his son might live to honor me. like bill mulder’s son.

AND THEN HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIM!!???

the end?!?!

hey man. entirely too much just happened in one episode.

okay. um. 

well. i didn’t like this one. 

there was too much going on!!! my brain wasn’t handling it!! why would mulder choose diana over scully?? is he stupid?? 

is the syndicate over now?? but now they have to deal with the alien rebels?? was krycek working for the rebels the whole time?? is that a good thing? but it's krycek; he can't be good. is spender dead?? just when i started to like him?

will mulder and scully go back on the x files?? will it be under skinner? how will they just go back to work after all of that? 

“hey scully. i'm sorry i didn’t believe you when you said my ex was manipulating me even though you found incredibly detailed receipts with my best friends in the whole world. and i'm sorry for how i wanted to give up and let everyone in the world die, because the man who is responsible for torturing you and thousands of other women told me there was nothing i could do. and i'm sorry i agreed with him despite having no reason to trust him whatsoever, and only changed my mind at the last minute.

do you want to go hunt some werewolves now? and not acknowledge how i blew off all of your trauma in favor of trusting someone i haven’t seen in years and a guy i previously called the devil? i know you’ve saved me more times than can be counted, but it was an honest mistake!”

grrr. i’m growling. hissing, even. how can he be so stupid?! 

beyond mulder’s dumb choices, it was just far too much at one time. which always happens with these episodes, but this might even be a record for most stuff packed into one episode. and it just made me frustrated. and therefore, i didn’t enjoy it. 

we got the marita reveal; tons of 1973 lore; attempts at humanizing CSM- and then him immediately being evil again; foolish mulder choices; scully being taken advantage of; krycek doing… whatever it is he does, really; the end of the syndicate; spender redemption arc and possibly death; and the rise of the rebels as the new big bad? so… are the other aliens who are made of the purity stuff just not a threat anymore? or will they be competing for dominance in colonization?? and where did the fetus come from and where did it go?

hmm. i need to go ponder. but i’m not very pleased. 

a day later, i am still not very pleased. the smashing of too many things together is a simple writing flaw. it comes with the territory. i'm used to it by now, if still mildly perturbed. but man, mulder trusting diana and CSM over scully. whew. sometimes, it's like the writers have this character, and spend so much time crafting him as this devoted, if deeply flawed and egotistical guy who would do anything to save the people he loves, and then... they just... make him not care about anyone or anything. and pretend like it's the same guy. as if i was not the victim of a bait and switch here. and it's happened often enough where you'd think i'd see some sort of pattern or in-character justification for his sudden change of heart, but we never get it. never.

so, CSM claimed he could see his sister if everyone else in the world died and they became alien slaves. how many times has he dangled his sister over mulder's head before? why is this something he would still even consider? why does he take CSM's word about his father at face value? he doesn't even LIKE his father, and now CSM says oh, he wanted to save everyone, and mulder just. eats it up. with no evidence to support thing. i just don't get it. and then he gives up. sits in diana's apartment, ready to let everyone die. it's only scully's call that wakes him up, makes him take his characteristic action.

idk. is there something i'm missing here? does this make sense to anyone else? have you all come to see some sort of internal logic to his actions after spending years with these episodes and arcs, and i just have to put the pieces together and come to the conclusions that you reached decades ago? will there be some reveal that makes this all make sense eventually? am i even being coherent?

hmm. this is another of those episodes that makes me want to throw my laptop in the river. i will ponder other, better episodes in the meantime.

[candyheartedchy]

So uh… I might end up with a live action f/o…

[sea-buns]

Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.

Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.

Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.

But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.

We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.

All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.

I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?

I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us

[skunkes]

unsure how to word this but there is something about having ocs with unsavory events happening in their past where it's like. talking about it, even when asked, seems almost gratuitous and inappropriate. and i'd much rather describe it through the oc themself and/or draw Them saying it. which is like. fitting for the subject matter? like of course its weird to talk about somebody else's business...!

and falls back into humanizing em/exploratory writing and development where u consider the impact of words said/words unsaid/HOW those words are said etc etc

[ghoul--doodle]

I'm interested to know more of the context behind the drawings with Bailey and his plushie! What happened to him and his family?

Bailey and his family were involved in an accident on- a mode of public transportation, shall we say

Bailey had been given the plushie a short time before the incident, and he’d been carrying it with him during the crash

He was badly injured and rushed to hospital, which resulted in the loss of his eye, among other things

Bailey was one of the sole survivors of the incident, he’d unfortunately lost his parents through the whole ordeal

And he was adopted into a new family not long after

His memories surrounding the accident, and even before, are incredibly foggy for him and he doesn’t particularly remember much at all

But he remembers the plushie!

He remembers that it was a gift from his parents and he absolutely treasures it

During his stay in the hospital while he was recovering some of the staff removed one of the buttons on the plushie’s face so Bailey wouldn’t be so scared upon learning he’d lost one of his

It was a huge comfort for him through the whole thing, and he still goes back to using it for comfort as an adult, it’s one thing he’ll never toss away if he can help it

He just knows it’s important to him

[kikizoshi]

youre learning Russian, right? I've also started learning with borrowed textbooks, and the consensus I've seen online is that its not enough, and that a course is necessary. if you don't mind I'd be really appreciative to know how you got where you are and if you think that's true.

Спасибо за помощь (ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

Unfortunately, I don't really know what I'm doing either. Just kinda stumbling through, and "where I am" isn't all that far. I can only ever be an authority on what helps me learn Russian; in my experience, there's never been a one-to-one, "follow these steps I took to become fluent" method. Everyone has to figure out their own quirks. (And if this isn't true for someone then I'm very jealous of that person.)

I've seen about as many different opinions as there are ways to learn. Some think you need courses. Some think courses are useless. Some like textbooks; others hate them. The one consistent thing seems to be input--everyone agrees you need a lot of comprehensible input (meaning, you understand some of what you're consuming). But is a course necessary? I don't think so. Whether it could be vastly beneficial or a waste of time and money is something that depends entirely on the person's learning style. A resource I've linked further down may help you determine whether it'd help you. I've never taken a course, so I don't have any experience there.

Also: I have ADHD, so everything here is working around that. Motivation is a massive issue for me, and I've generally found that forcing my way through something droll for long periods of time just... isn't something I can make myself do. It burns me out. I try to make everything something I want to do, or at least not very painful. But my methods are also slower and less effective than something more structured.

Comprehensible Input

How I got to it being helpful:

People go on about comprehensible input all the time, and I can see why; it's extremely important. It's what finally moved me from mid-A1 to late-A2. But actually getting to a place where input even can be comprehensible was so horrifically painful for me that for a long while I felt completely inept. So, here's the things I did, in order, that I think helped:

A0-A1 (not helpful yet)

Duolingo + Twitter: Don't get me wrong--I hate Duolingo. And non-fanart Twitter. But it was a great combination for learning Cyrillic. I used Duolingo's earliest levels to get familiar with Cyrillic and some very basic words. Concurrently, I followed some Russian fanartists on Twitter who also posted text posts frequently, and turned notifs on for them. That made it so that 3-5 times a day, I would get a notification for a post in Russian, and I would practise reading/sounding out Cyrillic. I wasn't too focused on understanding what the post was saying, just getting a familiarity with the alphabet.

Memrise + Anki: Pain. God, so much pain. This was the worst. Necessary and effective, but the absolute, God-forsaken worst. Once I felt comfortable enough with Cyrillic, I started working through two decks: a. Memrise: vlarya's 10k most common Russian words deck. It goes in order of most to least common, has audio, and has typing practise. This replaces Duolingo. (When Memrise inevitably removes community courses altogether, feel free to ask for a backup of this deck. If I'm still on here by then, I should be able to give my backup that works with Anki.) I don't recommend Memrise's official courses. b. Anki: Neri's Russian Sentences (blog link) deck is great for practising the simple words you're learning with Memrise, getting common phrases down, and starting to see how Russian as a language comes together. It'll take a bit to click. c. keybr: I also started practising a little with keybr, mainly because having to type in Russian on Memrise sucks with the on-screen keyboard. keybr is the best site I've found to learn to touch type different keyboards. It's extremely effective. If you're already a touch-typer, a few hours should be enough to type well enough for Memrise.

YouTube: Russian With Max's 'For Beginners' Playlist was really helpful and motivating, at this point. He speaks slowly, simply, and clearly enough that I could understand him, where I couldn't understand anyone else yet.

I... God, I hate the A0-A1 stage so much. You can't do anything. At least now, I can watch TikToks, read comments, enjoy memes, and understand enough of those to enjoy myself. The stage where you understand nothing is by far the most awful to me. I wish I had anything to make it more bearable, but it's really just the worst. Hopefully you're either past this already, or close to past it. The small mercy is that it doesn't take too long to claw your way out of.

A1-A2 (helpful now)

[Active Immersion] Memrise + Reading/Watching (comp input): keep working through vlarya's 10k deck. My routine is: speed review due cards; finish the 10 cards I started learning yesterday; start learning 10 new words today. That's my reps and warmup. Then, depending on my mood, I'll either read at least 30 mins of 'Дом, в котором...' (with or without audiobook, again depending on mood), or watch at least 30 mins of Max's intermediate vids w/ Russian subtitles. Sometimes in my free time I'll watch Russian lit or ДВК TikToks.

[Passive Immersion] Music/Audiobooks/Let's Plays: pretty self-explanatory. My passive input isn't as comprehensible rn, but I focus on things I enjoy. A let's play to fall asleep to, an audiobook while I'm doing something that requires on-and-off focus. The goal here is just to understand snatches of whatever I can, not so much the whole thing. Eventually, those snatches become more frequent.

I'm sure more dedicated study would help me a lot right now, but I don't really have the time or motivation to, so I don't try to force it.

Regarding Russian language learning YouTube channels, and why I only recommend Max:

I've found that most popular Russian learning YouTube channels feel... well, like school. They're not very interesting, they don't feel very organic. It doesn't feel like I'd be watching their videos for any other reason than learning Russian, which is bad for me, because I need to make Russian part of my life to have any motivation to do it.

So, the reason I like Max's channel so much is that he talks about things that're actually interesting and relevant to me. This video is a personal favourite, but he has a lot of videos about all sorts of topics--some of which I'm genuinely interested in. And his demeanour is more vlogger, less teacher. I like him as a person. (Protip: in this stage, don't be afraid to start his intermediate videos early, even if you don't feel you're there yet. It can still be very helpful to pick out the words you do know, and most of his videos have Russian and English subtitles if you're confused.)

Regarding how to find a good Russian book to read:

I... don't know. Reading ДВК with the audiobook really, really helped with my reading ability, and continues to. I can't state enough how important it was for me. But how to find a book that you can read over and over again... I don't know. I just know that Harry Potter would be absolute torture.

I've seen people say that you should start reading simple things, like children's stories. I personally haven't done much of that, because children's stories bore me out of my mind, but if you like them then I'd give that a shot. I've also heard that Chekhov's stories are good for beginners (I've heard that about Pushkin too, but I'm not sure how easy poetry would be to understand). Read-alongs on YouTube could be good too. Russian With Max has some old livestream read-alongs, and there are plenty of Russian read-alongs on YouTube.

Aside - if you're curious about 'Дом, в котором...', this fan-made trailer is the entire reason I picked up ДВК; the vibes captivated me and I had to know what it was about. So for anyone interested: if the trailer looks cool to you, you may like the book. The English translation is called 'The Gray House'. ДВК is fairly long, and different POV characters have differing levels of complexity with the language. The early chapters are the simpler ones, conveniently, so starting from the beginning should be fine. It's a slice-of-life type story, so easy to pick up and put down. I recommend the Князев audiobook, which is almost certainly the one you'll find if you search 'дом в котором аудиокнига' (it's a fan-made audiobook, so I don't think you can buy it, but like LOTR the fan version is by far the best).

Resources

r/languagelearning's resources page is a good place to skim through, see if anything sticks out. I recommend reading through their 'How to Teach Yourself a Foreign Language'. It's good for giving you an idea of how different people learn, different learning methods, how those methods work for others, and what might work for you.

Refold's Roadmap is very helpful for me to understand where I'm currently at, and what sort of activities it would be beneficial for me to be working on. I use their definition of levels (i.e. A1), so if I wasn't clear what I meant by A1 vs A2, reading through this could be helpful.

SRS:

Anki's for decks I have to create myself, or if I need a more specialised deck. I prefer Memrise for vocab, mainly for typing practise and the better UI. If you want to use Anki for vocab: Refold's ru15k deck is good for A2+. There are plenty of simple word decks to pick from for A0-A1. If you want to word mine to create your own Anki decks, see FLTR below.

Grammar:

New Penguin Russian Course is supposed to be good for grammar. I looked through it, and it does look good. If you understand grammar. I don't, but putting it here for those who do.

Reading:

u/La_Nuit_Americaine's post about reading helps me with motivation, and gave me some pointers about how to do it.

FLTR (Foreign Language Text Reader) is a good Windows program alternative to LingQ, if you can't or don't want to pay for LingQ's subscription. You have to input the word definitions yourself. I used Reverso and Yandex Translate together for this. Your word list can be exported to Anki.

ReadLang is supposed to be a good web-based alternative to LingQ (its free level is still usable, unlike LingQ's). I've not used it much, but it seems pretty good. My preference is using some translation extension that will let you click on a word and automatically translate it and move on quickly. Simple Translate on Firefox is what I use.

Video Media:

Language Reactor is a subtitle extension for YouTube, Netflix, etc. that has a bunch of cool features. I hardly use it because it's not on Firefox, but if you use Chrome, Opera, etc., it's really handy. For YouTube, it will translate the auto-generated subs for videos, so if you have a Russian video that only has Russian auto-generated subtitles, you can use Language Reactor to get English subtitles.

Other ADHD Accommodations:

Being kind to myself is very important. I can't make myself study by thinking "why can't you just" or "it's not that hard, what's wrong with you". I can't make myself study with positive words either, but using positive language helps my morale so that I have more motivation to study more often.

I use a different browser (Opera) solely for learning Russian. I chose Opera because Language Reactor works on it (would've used Chrome but Chrome is set up for work), but the general idea is having a separate space for Russian. I put Opera's language in Russian, and I keep all my Russian-learning tabs open there, so that when I'm ready to study it's as simple as opening Opera. Having it separated like that also helps my brain see active study as a task that can be opened and closed, rather than combined with everything else (Firefox).

I try to give myself enough options of things to do for immersion that it's always a choice. My brain has so many different states: motivated; unmotivated; foggy; clear; distracted; focused. Each one will want--or even need--something different. If it's a foggy day, I may be able to read along ДВК with an audiobook, but not able to read words without that help. If I'm distracted, TikToks may help more than reading; if I'm focused, reading may help more than TikToks. Or if I'm completely unmotivated, watching one of Max's vids is more passive than reading, therefore less painful.

I love Russian. Not much to this one. I don't think I could stick to learning a language I didn't love for the sake of the language itself.

I wasted time and motivation watching things I wasn't interested in, trying to find media in Russian that appealed to me. I don't recommend that. I don't know the alternative, but I always felt horrible about myself after. It's important to have media you like, but forcing it won't work. Russian movies don't interest me. Everyone else's favourite Russian YouTubers don't appeal to me at all. TikTok is much better for me in that regard, because I can search for specific fandoms that interest me. Luck seems to be the only thing that works for finding good YouTubers.

Textbooks are my kryptonite. I can't use them. They drain motivation so fast. If they work for you, that's great. If they don't, I don't know that forcing it is the solution. It wasn't for me.

I scroll language learning subreddits sometimes for motivation. It's not productive, generally. But it's fun. And I do get some ideas sometimes.

I've mostly accepted that my progress is going to be slower than others. I'm trying not to compare myself. I'm enjoying it now, mostly, learning slowly but learning, and each time I reaffirm that that's okay, it becomes truer.

[arolesbianism]

I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds

[astralprisms]

Was wondering why this particular gith face always feels like it suits baldness best and then I realized it IS in fact Orpheus' face model, Orph just has different unique ears.

Anyway welcome back, dreadwolf.

[mordremrose]

I’m just gonna write a little thing! A little thought for Bloom, nothing too intense, just so I don’t forget it!

1000 words later? Whoops

Writing below the cut, major spoilers for the end of Heart of Thorns and implied End of Dragons spoilers but nothing explicit from EoD :]

Bloom

“Kill me, Commander.” Trahearne could hear his own voice tremble, as horror overtook his dear friend’s face. Around them all, their friends— Rytlock, Caithe, Canach, Marjory, Braham— were exhausted. Worn thin by the fight against the jungle dragon, both physical and within the Dream.

“What? No! Mordremoth is dead. We destroyed its mind from the inside.” The commander protested, their fingers curled around the hilt of Caladbolg.

“But I still hear its voice.” Trahearne looked down at his hands, twisted and blighted as they were. His body was not his— he was corrupted. It was only cruel fate that he had kept his mind this long. Or perhaps something more sinister.

“Mordremoth is alive. One last hateful vestige… a terrible seed, planted deep in my mind.”

Trahearne’s hands curled into fist, as he took a deep steadying breath.

“You must kill me, Commander, before that seed grows. Before… before Mordremoth reclaims what it has lost.”

He reached out now, hands on his friend’s shoulders. The tears streaming down their face broke his heart. He did not want this. He didn’t want to hurt them, to see them suffer so.

Trahearne wished there was another way.

“What is left of me can’t survive on its own, my friend.” He croaked, and felt the Commander tremble beneath his hands. Were they always so small?

“Strike now or—“

Against his will, a rage rose up. A sick bile that boiled in his stomach and burned through his chest as his mind lurched.

Through his mouth, Mordremoth spoke.

“I am the future! I am this world! You cannot destroy me!” The dragon roared, hands tightening around the commander.

“Run while you can!” It took everything he had left to force his fingers to uncurl, to release the commander even as the dragon wanted to tear them to shreds to be remade anew.

Caladbolg flashed in the corner of his eye.

“No!” The commander yelled. Strike true my friend! Trahearne wanted to yell. But he couldn’t, and his mind went dark.

There was no great explosion. There was no dying scream.

If you asked those present what happened, none of them gave any concrete answer.

Canach hesitated to answer, but would confirm that Mordremoth was no longer hounding his mind, or any of the sylvari.

All Rytlock would say was that the confrontation wasn’t pretty.

Caithe mourned Trahearne, in her quiet and melancholic manner, and asked not to push the matter further.

Braham would scowl, shake his head, and shove his way past, unwilling or perhaps unable to describe that final blow.

Marjory Delaqua, normally so elegant and clever with her words, who could see the twists of a plot before anyone else— when she was asked, she could only shake her head and reply ‘I don’t know’.

The Commander didn’t answer at all, because no one was able to find them to ask.

Eventually, researchers at the newly established lab of Rata Novus confirmed what the entire world held its breath to hear.

Mordremoth was dead. He had to be, to explain the slow steady trickle of magic escaping the jungle, supposedly as the dragon… decayed wasn’t the right word, but it conveyed the idea well enough. It was a slow death, they said, not quite the explosive reaction from Zhaitan, who had gorged itself on magic before its death, but a gradual decay. It changed things, about magic, about how the people of Tyria and the soon to be established Dragon’s Watch understood the flow of magic around and through the Elder Dragons. But it was dead.

It had to be.

He woke up. His body ached, as it always did, as he woke. A consequence of being too bigsmall. He stirred slowly, limbs stretching out and tail dragging behind. He had buried himself beneath massive vines this time, the weight of them both familiar and restricting. These conflicting sensations, the constant disagreement with himself… it was the only thing he could rely on. Even his name escaped his memory, although he could hear whispers of it on the edges of his mind.

Traherdremaneth.

It didn’t matter, really.

He moved slowly, not truly wanting to rise, but knowing he must.

He was something in between, and there was no stillness for him. No place of his own.

His one companion, if you could call it that, would be upon him soon. A dogged purserer, both a thorn in his side and a trusted ally, trailed behind him. For a time he thought they left him— and the feelings that had wrought left him stationary in a deep cave for nearly a week before they had reappeared.

He didn’t want them close, he knew that much, but they were one of the few things he had, a consistency. He couldn’t see them well, not with the distance between them, but he could always make out the broken blade at their hip. The one that made the scar across his chest ache.

He wondered what would happen if he let them get closer. Would they strike? Would they know him?

They were his enemyfriend. What would they make of him? Caution kept him at a distance from them.

The longer he was awake, the more memories he could half-remember.

The Orrian landscape stretches out before him and it reeks of his sibling, twisting beneath the dirt. The undead don’t notice him, not yet, and he can take a moment to look closer at the coral. It was neither alive nor dead. Not unlike himself and yet so different to him or anything he had ever encountered before.

He missed his siblings, their quiet talks among the then empty roots, among safe coils with their constant presence around him. They were too distant to feel or simply gone now and it unnerved him. This was wrong. Perhaps they could help him make it right.

There was one other thing, other than his sort-of companion and his unsteady roiling mind, that remained constant. And this was the true constant. A steady beacon, that he could not see or hear, but simply felt in a way that he could not describe. A magnetic sort of pull that had him orbiting closer and closer.

It drew him in, out of the depths and dark underbelly of the jungle and the cave systems, towards the strange golden stones, the elegant walls meant to keep out creatures that wished to destroy the beacon. He was not welcome there, not yet, even though he meant no harm. He just needed to be closer.

He didn’t know how he knew that. He just knew it.

[keeps-ache]

and i Don't need to be detailed or very realistic with my worldbuilding! because L. ron hubbard existed at some point and

[misiahasahardname]

For this

I think it's your love for Michelangelo and also transfem ninja turtles :3

absolutely what i want to be known for!!!!!!!!

[hazeism]

Book Demerzel was male in the past too! She is Gender.

Ooh, okay, so I guess my understanding of things is kind of impaired by the fact that I'm still on Edge (I went in in-universe chrono, though--I mean I did the Empire books all jumbled because I read Pebble ages and ages ago and then the other two came in as holds from my library in the wrong order hahah--so I started the Foundation novels with Prelude) and have yet to read and Earth which I think he returns in? So I might be missing a huge amount of context regarding his presentation/interpretation/etc. etc.

Most of my ideas about Daneel's complication regarding gender mostly conform to my understanding of him (any pronouns apply 🥰🥰 but I'm used to he so I'll just go with that for now) as a fundamentally resolved, instrumental thing--though cornered of course by minimalism and limited knowledge--who has the luxury (?) of more readily identifying the contextual applications of gender, combined then with millenia of insight into the fluid/arbitrary drifts of social and cultural mores, plus his own schematics of prioritization and internalization... I think he is on like extradimensional levels of gender, internally, and I hope there is canon basis for him taking upon himself some gendered aspects in a functional/teleological manner (as he takes on other aspects of personhood! even Demerzel himself is an adopted aspect!) because I think that even if that goes uninterrogated (as so many things in these novels do GRRR!) it has even more necessary implications for his internal cognitions of gender!!!!

That said I DO also think there's something to be said about the amount of gendered socialization he gets in his most formative years (especially from his Earthman who knows his sociological formulas but does not have a very sophisticated or unblemished understanding of gender politicssdbfkdj)--which is undercut by his state of subjection and perpetual qualification and Othering from people who do know his true nature, and then the implication of Deceit (not what I believe him to be doing--at least in the context of gender/lack thereof but definitely how it would be interpreted by towards people who don't know what he is which like. very transgender existence tbh being considered inherently deceitful) but this all just makes it more texturally complex and interesting and makes him even better at being soooo gender. Love that thing!!!!

[akkivee]

juto and gentaro have been btching at each other with a smile like this for the entire battle AND DICES FACE LMAO

[burningcomputerpersona]

this is a pretty specific idea and might sound nonsensical to anyone else reading this

but I would kill for alex melton to make a blink 182 cover of green squirrel in pretty bad shape by hot mulligan

idk why this idea has been bouncing around in my head for so long but i feel like he would absolutely crush it

[object-yaoi]

Sorry I just saw ur post in a tag and I can’t believe there’s someone else out there who has to deal with an AM fictive. We thought we were the only ones

all ill say about our AM is he's pretty chill. he formed to deal with our anger (and some other recent stuff as well)

but yeah i get the whole Ordeal of having obscure source fictives (especially ones who are antagonists, we have SO MANY villain fictives)!

hope you and your headmatez are well !!

[fish-bowl-2]

Heya :) For the fic ask, S, T, and maybe K (if you're ok with answering that)

Hiii

S. Any fandom tropes you can't resist? Idk if this is necessarily a "fandom trope" but having x character doing x mundane activity amuses me so much. Even if absolutely nothing interesting or noteworthy happens. I might have mentioned this in passing before, but I am always so tempted to write Edd just shopping for groceries or something. Maybe if I can find a way to make it interesting it will actually come to fruition. Who knows. I also really like it when storylines and events from canon are referenced. ESPECIALLY when they are expanded upon through introducing how a character feels/felt about said events, or offering another perspective to it. Also improving upon things that may have been rushed or not depicted well in-canon. I love seeing authors interpretations of that.

T. Any fandom tropes you can't stand? When canon, aka the basic foundations of the original story's plot-line and themes, is not respected. This does not go to say I hate ANY divergence from canon. I love seeing diverse and interpretive head-canons for characters. For a show like EEnE there is a lot of details that are left unsaid because it is not the central focus or intentionally left vague. It is really cool to see the ways other people in the fandom interpret that. Also these characters are kids and still figuring themselves out, so really you can make an argument for anything regarding their choices as they grow older. What really tends to get on my nerves is when it feels like an author does not RESPECT the canon they are writing. This can come from not knowing the source material they are tackling, and misinterpreting characters in a way that is fulfills what the writer WANTS to see in a character rather than what they actually are like. Basically, if you can take a character and replace them with someone else and the story still works, I don't think it is that good a fanfic.

K. What's the angstiest idea you ever come up with? Omg...I'm not quite sure tbh. Even though I do tend to lean on the "angstier" side with my interpretations of the characters, I still don't think they are the "angstiest" things written about these guys. I guess something that could be considered angsty is that when Edd and Eddy do realize they have feelings for each other and try to have a relationship that reflects that, it is very rocky. Mostly a result out of them being inexperienced teens, as well as having LOTS of emotional issues that have not been adequately attended to. I feel like there would be a good degree of unhealthy codependence stemming from both sides. On the upside, I definitely like to have them get better at figuring that stuff out when they're a bit older : ) they just need some time.