#also im so sorry if half the shit ive said recently is so like. Well Duh. i havent made a new oc in a decade gimme a break LOL

[skunkes]

unsure how to word this but there is something about having ocs with unsavory events happening in their past where it's like. talking about it, even when asked, seems almost gratuitous and inappropriate. and i'd much rather describe it through the oc themself and/or draw Them saying it. which is like. fitting for the subject matter? like of course its weird to talk about somebody else's business...!

and falls back into humanizing em/exploratory writing and development where u consider the impact of words said/words unsaid/HOW those words are said etc etc

[kristiliqua]

i have been constantly thinking about the damn taz au recently im so ill man

i want to talk about it . so bad . like aaaaaaaa i have some specific bits that i really love but dont wanna spoil at all but RHRHRRRRHHGH FUCK !!!!! i just .,, taz!tallulah . thats it . thats all im saying . i love her :(

also i originally made scott smajor be leon the gachapon guy , but i am now making him be badboyhalo . because Fuck scott smajor ^_^ i am not having a weirdo like him in my au lmao (also bbh is just perf for leon)

also man oh man half the fun for this au for me is simply coming up with chapter titles . ive made it a thing where they have to be srs and rhyme with another bit (thatll go in the ch summary) and boyyy oh boy r they fun to hatch out :D i’ll give u all one just for fun — one that easily comes to mind is “trust or forsake, which will you take? (an eye, an ability, or a life at stake?)” :3 yippee (there are so many chapter titles on god . its a miracle that i actually enjoy coming up with them or else i’d be fucked LMFAO)

also taz!missa is a thing now too . a minor character , but he’s there . bc i said so :)) (taz!deathduo is real btw ur welcome)

man can you tell i really just wanna ramble and gush abt this au . bc i really just wanna ramble and gush abt this au ,,, i love it like it is my baby and i will cherish it forever

frowny face . i want to post Something for this au on ao3 already (i have so many snippets just written bc ,,, i had to let out the energy somehow) but i also dont wanna spoil shit before the actual fic so ????? i guess i’ll suffer . and or just rant abt it on here , el em ay oh

i havent even fully written anything thats for sure gonna be in the main fic (well maybe thats a lie . i have so many snippets that im sure one of them will be usable at some point) . i wrote chapter one (and two ?) a While back , but im def not using that lmfao

jusssst . sigh . i love this au sm and im So sorry to my qsmp followers who followed me for qsmp fanarts and ended up getting a ramble abt some au u dont know or care abt LMAOOO — just ignore this , smile .? or join/spectate my brainrot as i slowly lose my mind , idk

,, also . have i ever said that i made fantasy costco be ‘fantasy tescos’ instead ? bc i did , since in my eyes tescos is just the british version of costco ,,, even though i dont Really know what tescos is , or if its at all similar to costco (im american pls forgive me) but they sound similar so idc (,,, i havent even gone to costco either , actually . im just balling it out here fr)

oh yeah i was thinking abt making a pogtopia wilbur slash vilbur arc thing for taz!wilbur in a particularly long arc in the story (cough cough stolen century cough cough) too ,,,,, so that might be a thing . idk . maybe bro kinda loses it in those hundred years , bc fucking hell how r these mfs still sane after that /hj (its like he becomes apathetic as he sees all of it as meaningless and futile . bc these ppl and this world is gonna die anyway , so what purpose do morals or any kind of care serve ? theyll be gone in a year anyway , it rlly doesnt matter what happens to them before then [later , he Does snap out of it . maybe after a more emotional death hmm who knows] . plus paranoia with the whole impending doom thing el oh el couldnt be me) . methinks i’ll maybe write smth for this idea (smth that u all might never see lmao) . smiley face :))

anyways fuck it this is the end of this long ahh post . beeye

[wanderrlust0]

i felt like trash today at work omg

before it even started, i was so congested and my throat was annoying the fuck out of me honestly. i want to like rip it out lol or my lungs. it keeps getting blocked and then itll like severely start to tickle/sting me and i feel like im having like a panic attack thru coughing. that happened and then out of nowhere i just threw up:| i wanted to skip work today but it was last minute and my manager didnt reply in time so i just went and i felt better later but i still felt gross lol. i had like one big attack in the back of my throat and my eyes just started tearinggg and omg this guy was literally hitting on me while i look like shit like whattt. i felt so ugly why is he interested in me lol. i just have to make it thru this week T.T the only good thing to come out of this is that ive been drinking soo much water! i also met a new coworker briefly who i’ll prob work with, maybe, idk. anyways, completely random, yesterday my mom just apologized to me saying she knows theres been times where she hasnt been the perfect parent and that she was sorry for all the hurtful things she has said to me before and stuff. i did not know what to sayyy i literally was like very neutral and was like oh okay and didnt look at her and i dont think she looked at me either. we were just both doing stuff in the kitchen. but like.. she just apologized. out of nowhere. the amount of emotional trauma and verbal abuse ive gone thruuu with her. its like way too much to even remember half of it. i feel like her apology was genuine tho. im also still hoping and wishing for good news in regards to my last journal post..<3please bc things cant get any worse. so yeah, thats it for that topic. the hunger games series is leaving netflix in 2 days so my friend motivated me to finally watch them and i have one more movie left. my list for movies/shows to watch is sooo longg, i really need to watch more. oh yeah and lastly, me and my ig mutual have been talking more recently, trying to plan out a day to finally hang out! (btw i dont like using anyones names on tumblr; my name isnt even on here lol) i feel like we click well and hopefully its like that in person and i dont make the same mistake D;

[shjapologist]

please introduce yuor blorbos to us

kyaa okay so one thing about me is that i love whzn theres a guy who lacks common sense . i'll introduce them by order of current real estate taken in my brain

lets start w lu bixing my good friend lu bixing from can ci pin

hes a scientist hes a gangster hes a genius hes a teacher he exclusively goes by the YOLO principle and if he stops for 2 seconds to think about the cost of his life he will start spiralling immediately

this is a man who has invested 1000 points in charisma and intelligence and 0 on wisdom. a man who will inject himself w a supersoldier chip just to see what it does. a man who gets himself out of shit by talking as fast as possible and is so convincing he sets off chains of events that end up sparking revolutions

introduced as showy flirty love interest, IS the showy flirty love interest but has the advantage of being insane so hes not boring abt it. guy who makes spreadsheets in his mind about how the commander has to be in love with him now definitely. hes gathered the data. hes using the scientific method. no way around it. frankly incredible

a very genuine and straightforward guy :) hes also so vaain it's def a charm point. very aware that he has terrible terrible taste in men as well but cannot stop himself from being down catastrophic for the biggest bastard in the galaxy. this is only one of the many times he acknowledges it :

hes such a charming character ive never insta stanned like this in my life. occupying every one of my spare thoughts these past few days i cant stop thinking about him and his happy childhood <- said in the most wretched tone

and. lastly. he is the FUUNNIEESSTTTT

on to blorbo number two sung hyunjae from sclass

very recently dethroned from number one. another thing abt me is that i like men who are huge cunts 😔

in his cringe toxic murderbasement ml era for the first hundred chapters of the novel terrible vibes hes got you booing and throwing tomatoes And Then His Birthday Happens and youre never the same person you once were

the bzst way to describe the character developpement this guy went through is a pic of him bllack and blue all bones shattered at the bottom of the stairs w a giant arrow pointing down like "WHAT LOVE DOES TO A MF" HEEEEESSS so special. to me. with his dumbass bloody fork

hes a guy that values his agency over anything else he loves being himself he loves living as the guy who is sung hyunjae so im a big fan of how its always at a certain level of danger. lol. his pre-regression self is so miserable and pathetic everything in that regard went terribly wrong for him his intro is one of my fav arcs :)

anyways he actually has the potential to be a genuinely nurturing presence but its so rare for it to be pertinent to his personal agenda you wouldnt Know. but then You Do Know. bc he gets drop kicked into being a real boy through escalating psychosexual games and being offered a reaching hand time and time again by the only person who ripped through the script and called him a huge bitch. you also see him tip over from standard selfishness into the kim dokja register and that is a terrible thing to happen when theres a han with abandonment issues around.

rly enjoyed seeing him turn into a fucking auntie who knits hot pink ensembles in his spare time and discovers the mundane wonders of the world and maybe the indignity of human emotion who knows(LMFAO) so anyways yes tje power of love saved him znd now hes malewife stepdad supreme half of the shit he does makes my face clip through my bones from embarrassment he has to be the most annoying fictional man ive ever seen. (through tears) youre old and decrepit grow up already bitch!!!

and so sorry im about to make you look at truly heinous images but a very very fucking funny thing that happened in the sclass webtoon is that they called on a guest artist to render his scenes in the most shoujo like way possible. NEVER recovering rom this

numberthree . yan suizhi from first class lawyer...

genius lawyer is thought to have died, is instead shoved in the body of a random guy . so the first thing he does is join up the internship program organised by the college he used to teach at to investigate his own murder. the problem is that he is complete PANTS at pretending he is not a genius lawyer so his mentor is inventing new stages of grief to go through daily

he's the impenetrable cheerful facade type. a very good bald faced liar.. once you defrost him you find out hes living his life to the fullest to cope with how deeply lonely he is :) heres a part that rendered my brain to mush

i miss you yan suizhi i need to catch up to lawyer novel sometime for real.

blorbo number four always a constant little buzz in the back of my mind YOO JOONGHYUK(allof them)

i dont think i need to wax much poetic about him. the only time traveler progamer eldest daughter grill boss . i think this should go in a museum

ok thats all the main ones i think . there's a crouching blorbo in lin jingshu from can ci pin as well but i havent seen quite enough of her yet for her to properly latch onto my brain. airing out the deep evil inside of her now that society is collapsing. crazy

thank you for listening <3 :)

[gayspock]

bro.... okay assorted thoughts from dna mad scientist

first of all i already said it but i am SO freaking in love with namtar's character design. the practical effects are so, so, so freaking good. the way he walked... literalllyyyy i hate 2 draw comparisons, but i think abt how nowadays so much shit is just cgi'd for the fucking HELL of it like... ough you could NOT get cgi that would be anywhere near as harmonious as this costume was with the actor's performance. that cunt was feeling themselves.

and in general i will say i just. like tbh i knowww ive said it a lot but its so good and refreshing how creative some of the character designs are. theyre freaking weirdoooo. WEIRDOOO. I LOVEEE it. the other little scientist... idid not catch names (thats one thing i will say abt farscape - the names are so hard to get a hang of omg lol..) BUT i liked that design too. smile. aeryn's transition was a bit iffy but HEY. cant win em all

anyways storywise itself ok. listen im goin somewhere with this. i think its just... tumblr saturation... that makes me so sick of "found family". like im sorrryyy. i mean- i dont hate it i DONT. but the way ppl discuss it on here is so... weird bc half the time it doesnt even apply, or it's like... yeah theyre guys who like each other but its kind of just a friendship group and idk to me found family is more of an emphasis on certain themes rather than just. guys who hang out % got feelings for each other but. ok sorry thats an aside rank bc...

but.. FREAKING WHATEVER ANYWAYSSSS like my point. is its like. maybe i sound like a cunt. i dont know. im not trying 2 be edgy, but i get it sounds like that its just- i feel like shitty behaviour is necessary sometimes to make it more realistic SORRRYYY LOL.... but its weirdly refreshing when its like... the point keeps being made that yeaahhh these guys ARE starting to take a bit of a shine to one another. BUT ultimately theyre all stuck in a horrible fucking situation, & theyre so desperately sick for their lives back that they'll do freaking ANYTHING and throw these cunts under the bus like THAT. like even just in recent episodes- a few of them have been willing to just leave them behind if they gotta.... like d'argo on that one planet, and rygel in the cell... they donttt give a fuck and why would they yknow

and so like watching them just. YNAK PILOTS FREAKING ARM OFF. CHRIST. like- like it makes sense man... ha ha fuck me.. it does. like shit man. you go through so much fucking horseshit. theyre just kind of having to put up with each other. theyre first year uni flatmates right now for realll, not even that, and theyve been put through some shittt. and i LIKE that. it makes sense. & i think it will make any deeper connections more organic later on

and spreaking OF ANOIAFKIWFK['PGJSEG OSMKGAOJISGJPISDJ I LOVE PILOT I LOVE PILOT ILLOVEEEE pilot... pilot,zhaan and crichton are my FAVOURITES. but pilot could sooo soo shoot up there- it depends on how much more we get to learn about pilot but aooah rughh aorigughgh eekk. eeek. smileee. sortyy. SORRRYYYYY. JUST GIGGLES. KICKS LEGS. CHARACTERRRR TO MEEEE SMILEEE YAAAYYYYYAAYAYAY

also i love what they did with aeryn this episode also and specifically her repertoire with pilot. they have a really good fucking dynamic, man. best friends despite everything. i am actually really glad i like her bc i WAS worried as... perhaps its a more mdern media lens, but i feel like characters of her background, or her baxkground adjacent, can be done ehrhrm. not very well. but i think.... thus far i really love the way the show does handle lots of little character moments in the episodes.

LIKE THATS!!! Thats what i like!! bc- SORRY, im going 2 use trek as an example bc its a. decent comparison. but u have tng, yah? and its not entirely fair- thats episodic, yknow. but a lot of ehrm the character are extremely static and kinda. shallow in tng. lIKE I LOVEEE them sure and theyre all charismatic but i think with many of them ... ehrm lac depth... and . mm its moreso theyre always there to service individual stories, rather than the story is there to service them. and sooo they have to be a little blank- bc they are basically functions, for individual eps, and sotheyre kinda ? at the whim to change from ep to ep bc of that . and we do get some character eps but due to the nature of the show... u dont get the slow release of development, building them like you do here.

and i loveee that here bc its well doneee it is. smile. the way each of them do get fleshed out in every episode and its at a pretty organic pace like ive been saying. and so i likeee aeryn bc i feel like- i feeeel like i was worried they might go too much, too fast with her and it wouldn't work. but the steadier pace.... again, i really love pretty much all her interactions with pilot. i freaking love pilot man . sorry

also love zhaan ive said i love zhaan i want more zhaan bc her concept is everything to me. grin. had 2 say that too BUT OH

on the topic of aeryn. one thing i kinda wish.... I MEAN THEY WOULDNT. AND IT WOULDDD BE FUCKING WEIRD FOR IT TO JUST HAPPEN IN SOME RANDOM EP. but goddd part of me kinda wishes that there was no hard reset in this ep. or at least aeryn had someee lingering issues from whatever that was bc christ was that fucked up. wha tt he hell giys

speaking of, i also liked the like... non-apology from d'argo. again going back 2 what i said. i think its again... i dont know. it feels all the more... natural 2 me... like he's like "oh i would do that again. for sure." and pilots like "i expected that." i think its again wht i appreciate from farscape... theyve done this a few times where its just... a very measured response from characters instead of just freakingggg... forcing them to grovel, trying to close the episode arc story in a narratively satisfying way...instead its just again like yeahh he isnt fuckin sorryyy man. and its fine. lets play freaking music

also final thought. i insist d'argo should have paws still . like lion paws. anyways

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[dracosathenaeum]

ofc!!! And I just wanted to add that manacled doesn't romanticize the things per say it's mostly the fans. Like apparently there was this one girl that shifted to manacled like she was Hermione and then complained when Draco treated her like a piece of shit instead of being romantic and sweet like??? Also it's totally true that people like that are in every fandom but there seems to be a lot in dramione because it's very hated because it's forbbiden love or whtv, also no offence to you if you take it and even though I am techinally not a minor either I just feel it's very very weird that Dramione fans mostly consists of adults- Like they age up the characters just to put them through something or sexualize them.. Oh and one more thing I think Golden Boy got taken down because it's on Wattpad and it was around the time when Wattpad was bought and they were 'clensing the app' or smth, and well you can report a story on AO3 almost 99% of the time no matter if it has incest or even worst it doesn't get removed. Also also it's not just manacled. People/The author of 'The Auction' were gonna turn it into a fan film?? The story itself is pretty fucked up, and seeing people making a toxic and digusting relationship normal is to say the least very distrubing. Especially that fic were she is being literally SOLD. Anyhow I think I talked too much woops! I just never ever meet nice Dramione fans willing to talk about it.

i- what even was that first part 💀 is that person okay lmao

no worries about all about the offending part. i write for draco and recently a lot of people have been aging draco up for step!dad etc fics so i kinda get where you're coming from, it happens everywhere. with this like this, just because it makes you or i uncomfortable, it doesnt mean its necessarily disgusting or gross. if they were aging up a minor, then absolutely it's just wrong, but as Draco was 18+ by the end of the books and middle aged by the end, i don't think i could agree with you whole heartedly there.

also i have a feeling you'll never read dramione so speaking as someone who has read hundreds of dramione fics and am an avid reader (ie, i read roughly 50+ a year), having older people in the community makes the writing so damn good. some of these most well known fics were written better than half the ya books ive read. and that's something i probably can't say for many other fandoms (we are not counting After the harry styles fic remotely in the same category)

omg it was Golden Boy yes, jesus what a shit show that was.

as for your last point, there are hundreds upon thousands of books, films, tv series revolving around the topics of sl*very, m*rder, r*pe etc. you could say that Voldemort trying to murder a BABY was equally disturbing. so another work of fiction in this format doesn't change much in my opinion. fanfiction is a work of fiction ie made up. I've read The Auction and i can happily say it's one of the best works ive read and does not portray in the way you think at all. i understand that if you have just read the synopsis and have heard others talk about the premise, you could see it as such but that's simply not true when you read it.

no worries about the rant, i do it a lot ie here. if you actually read all of this than thank you! I'm sorry that you havent had many nice interactions with people who like dramione and i hope that this discussion has been useful in anyway! i know it sounds like im just disagreeing with everything you've said and partly it is but as i can see where your opinion comes from, i hope you see mine

[shhh-no-ones-home]

cake walk bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

Inspo can be found here, i really liked the idea and kinda ran with it lol

sorry ive been away for a while. ive been in a shit mindset but things around me are changing again and im hoping for the better. im away from home this week and figured id finally finish this, as well as restart the marvel shows on netflix so expect some new daredevil and punisher one shots in the near future 😁

also this is like half edited so if it sucks or i forgot to fix anything sorry

Song: soft by motionless in white

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

Bucky had been super tired lately. He had been having nightmares here and there and though he hadn't had one in a while he was still worried he'd hurt me in his sleep. So he was currently taking a nap in our shared room at the compound. We were only here for a few days to train new recruits and then we would all be back to our own homes. Me and buck, Sam, Clint, even Scott showed up. But then again he was always excited to be part of the team. Now I was in the kitchen like I usually was, stress-baking. But just to be safe, and per his request, I had a camera on buck while he slept to make sure he was still okay and I could rush to our room if he needed me.

So I stood at the island, gathering ingredients and singing softly to myself. not unusual for me to do, it was a good distraction after all and everyone else loved it because it made the place smell great. that and they all loved the many cakes, cookies, muffins, breads, and other baked goods I decided to make. a lovely thought really, one that brought a smile to my face as I began measuring out the dry ingredients. when I turned to look at the monitor though Bucky was gone, making me set the flour back onto the counter. Panic set in immediately. I tapped the screen twice, hitting the tracking cam on his watch and the footage coming up. I sighed deeply as I saw the blurry side video of Bucky murder-stomping his way through the halls. I tapped my own watch quickly.

"attention we have a 'wolf out of containment.' if you see him direct him to the kitchen but do not engage. If you wake him he'll hurt himself."

I said into it, rolling my eyes at the code name, and looking back to the monitor in worry. I heard my voice echo off the walls as he stepped towards the sound. One of the agents was walking down the hall and paused when he saw Bucky, rage behind his eyes as he got closer. Now Bucky was holding him harshly in his metal hand.

"Where is she?"

He said through gritted teeth and i could see both of their faces in the view on my watch.

"Kitchen. Down the hall to the left."

The agent squeaked out. Bucky threw him to the ground quickly before making his way down the hall. I double tapped the monitor again as he turned into the room. There was an intensity and pain strewn across his features as he made his way to me. whatever nightmare this was it had a full hold of him. he had been sleep walking a lot recently but it had never gotten this bad. but he knew what to do, even unconscious. Before he even made it to the table across the room Sam was rushing in behind hi, coming to a screeching halt when he realized what was happening to his best friend.

"I heard the code. Is everything okay?"

He asked and Bucky turned around, throwing a punch his way and him ducking. he made a scared face as he stood back up ready to fight.

"At ease soldier!"

I yelled and Bucky froze, mid motion as he began to throw another. He looked over his shoulder at me, seething, breathing heavy, eyes glazed over.

"Come here."

I said softly. He sent Sam a glare before doing as told, backing his way to the counter where i was standing. he never once stopped looking at Sam, or the other few agents that came rushing in with guns. that definitely didn't help.

"do you need help?"

one of them asked, looking between me and Bucky as he plucked a knife out of the wood block on the counter, holding it in a defensive position as he stood in front of me.

"no, I don't need help. Sam and I can take care of this."

i said matter-of-factly, the agent speaking into their watch and all three of them lowering their guns.

"just leave us be. everything is fine. if i need anything ill call."

they all nodded hesitantly, looking to Sam briefly before leaving. i sighed out when they were finally out of sight, side stepping buck and going back to measuring my sugar and vanilla.

"He sleep walking again?"

Sam asked quietly, stepping very slowly around the table and I nodded, moving to put mix my dry ingredients together. Bucky stood next to me, fist clenched tight around the knife as he watched Sam's every move with vigorous intent. I pulled one of the stools out from under the counter before grabbing a spoon and mixing the wet and dry ingredients together to make the cookie dough.

"Sit."

I offered buck and he sent me a confused looked. I glared at him and he did as told.

"Sam you mind setting a timer on that pad for twelve minutes?"

He nodded and did as told, stepping closer but not close enough for buck to do anything about it. they stared at each other as I molded the dough into balls on a tray.

"has this been happening a lot recently?"

Sam asked and i nodded, pushing the chocolate chips off the ends of my fingers.

"it hasn't been full mission before, and this one is lasting much longer."

i noted, washing my hands in the sink to the right of the counter.

"how do you know what to do?"

i let out a nervous laugh, tucking the tray of cookies into the hot oven behind me.

"in all actuality, I don't. I'm just hoping that the things I've tried before work. "

Bucky looked between me and Sam as I stood back up, drying my hands on the towel and moving to touch his cheek gently. he flinched for a second, staring at me as i tucked his hair behind his ear.

"its okay soldat. you can relax, he's not going to hurt me. he's my friend."

i said very softly, looking over his eyes as he turned back to Sam.

"put the knife down."

i said just above a whisper, moving to stand behind him. i began slowly running my fingers through his hair. he still held the knife tightly as i started to hum along to one of his favorite songs from his childhood. he had shared it with me sometime after we had moved in together. it had been my savior more than once.

"does that work?"

Sam asked and i sent him a look, trying to get Bucky to lean back into my chest. he kept jolting himself back up, fighting the urge to close his eyes. as I got to the end of the song though he had his head completely rested against me, body limp, and knife clattering to the rug beneath us. he had fallen back into a deep sleep, snoring softly as I continued to finger comb his hair.

"yes Samuel, it works."

i said, and then the timer went off. Bucky jolted upright, the stool shaking as i leaned forward and caught him before he fell off. I held his shoulders as he breathed heavily, looking around in deep confusion.

"Sam?"

he asked before looking back at me and drawing his brows.

"hey baby, its okay. I'm sorry we woke you."

he turned to me and took my hand.

"y/n, why am I in the kitchen?"

i let out a nervous laugh, letting him go and getting my cookies out of the oven.

"you were sleep walking again."

he groaned, standing up and freezing when he looked down.

"I didn't hurt anyone... did I?"

he said horrified as he picked the knife up. i shook my head frantically, taking it from him and putting it back in the block.

"no! no no no. baby you did not."

i said quickly through one breath, placing my hands on either side of his face. he looked like he was going to cry.

"hey, no, look at me. James. you didn't hurt anybody. I dropped the knife in surprise when you came in here. it had nothing to do with you."

Sam sent me a sad look as i tried to calm Bucky down.

"you're sure?"

he asked pained and i pulled him into a tight hug, cradling his head in my hand and mouthing to Sam to not say anything.

"yes Jamie I am sure. you are perfectly fine. scared the shit out of some agents. but no more."

he took in a shaky breath.

"i scared you."

he repeated just above a whisper and i pulled him away from me, holding his head in my hands and looking between his eyes.

"you just caught me by surprise, nothing we haven't been through before."

he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. i kissed his forehead gently.

"hey, now that you're awake, you want a cookie?"

i asked and he looked up at me, offering a small smile.

"uh, yeah, id love one."

i nodded once before turning and carefully taking one off the tray and placing it on one of the dry paper towels sat on the counter in front of him.

"made especially for my buckaroo."

i said and he laughed lightly before taking a bite. he was none the wiser and Sam sent me a testing look.

"Sam?"

i asked, holding one out to him and he took it begrudgingly. i went back to finger combing Bucky's hair as he snatched another. sending me a genuine smile as he chewed. i shared another knowing glance with Sam before he pulled another bar stool out and sat across from us.

"these are pretty good y/n, wish we could share with more of the guys here."

he said and i sent him a look.

"well i guess we'll just have to save them some for later. I'm sure they're all very busy right now with other important things."

i said a little condescendingly and he shook his head.

"so uh, i don't know what's happening but if i sit here any longer there wont be any left for anyone else. what do you say we go for a walk or something?"

Bucky said with a smile and i nodded, smiling back.

"i think that's a great idea. Sam?"

he looked from Bucky to me and to the tray.

"uh you guys go ahead. ill make sure these get to the guys, and that the recipe doesn't make its way into their daily reports."

i took Bucky's hand as he stood and nodded once at Sam in understanding. he was going to make sure no one got word of Bucky's incident, just in case. he was getting better after all.

"thanks Sam, it means a lot. come on buck, lets get some air."

[skipcount1]

Hii!! I loved the new medroom chapter goddamnnnn got me holding my breath the entire ride pffff

I’m not usually on tumblr but i hearrddd you are and i just want to come and say how amazing that series is and it’s like one of my favorite fics ever now.

(Also funny thing, i actually know medroom updated NOT from i checked my ao3 notifs, but from my twitter bc all my friends there were absolutely crazy over the new plot and Awesamponk hijinks hhshshs)

Ok when Ponk absolutely ROASTED, FLAMED Dagger from outside the room, it was so cool man. POP OFF BELOVED! GO YOUUUUUU!

CNNR IS CONNOR AND CLLHN IS CALLAHAN i legit didn’t know that until i read your most recent ask my mind is BLOWN the blue cape and cream clothing makes so much sense now.

The friendship between Lemon, Frost and Spirit is absolutely amazing btw I loved that they are by Lemon side when he fell down when he is unfreeze, and when he is panicking and stuff. It’s so pure I love it ( ofc, that friendship is also pure in the other chapters, like their little banter and carefreeness around each other it’s just amazing man)

AND ALSO AYYOOOO AWESAMPONK BONDING TIMEEE LMAOOO i didn’t know cnnr was such a shipper /j MANNN I can’t wait to find our what their mission is and whatnot (also how are you so good at ending chapters with an amazing cliffhanger? It made me laugh and got be at the edge of my seat at the same time goddamnn)

Mannn this ask has been too long, i might as well have just written you a letter instead hahah IM NOT DONE WITH MY RAMBLINGS THO THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANNA MENTION but I’ll cut it here for now :))) Sorry if it was too long tho 😭😭😭

Can’t wait for the next chapter! Thank you so much for writing a masterpiece! <33

hi yes i am holding you like a racoon with a cookie rn ive reread this like three times tysm!!! you cannot talk for too long i promise you you could ask me 3 billion things and i would answer them im just awkward lmao

i am SO happy people like the awesamponk hijinks dude they are. them. look at em go not a braincell to behold. and the friendship the only person ponks worse at lying to than other people is himself but it's FINE because it's CUTE and he deserves FIRENDS and they make my brain go BRRR

ALSO im so glad you liked the roasting i did not expect ponk to go that hard i don't know where that came from. i stg he reached through my screen and said "ill take it f3om here" and it was just like damn okay off you g - oh shit. um. youre medical personnel youre not supposed to do that. (so did dagger honestly idk why she sucked so bad she just decided that there were in fact main characters and that she was one of them and the eggpire was not)

also ty for reminding me to put the names in!!! i published that like two minutes before I went into class lmao. i forgor.

also my guy you do not need to worry about grammar bc a) i did not notice and b) i only take on a semblance of being writerly here half the time things i text people are so absolutely incomprehensible i have been asked to translate and made it so much worse

also I do not have a sketch but here is a cat

[angeloncewas]

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

-----

2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

-

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

-

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

-

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

-

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

-----

okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

[galaxytale]

mmmm…. i have new thoughts about my ex and i’s situation.

i know i have rambled on here in the past about them. often bitterly and angrily. to be honest, those words came from a place of immense hurt and betrayal. a lot of pain and a lot of complex emotions that i needed to vent out and process. and the way i did this previously was… rather embarrassing and harmful and not good for anyone. but it has been a long year, and i have had much to think about. and my brain does not like to process many of these things in a normal way. i often just use this blog as a place to barf out my thoughts at random so i can work out whats going on in my mind. this doesnt excuse it but i hope it allows for some understanding.

its been a long time since my ex and i broke up. and i just… idk didnt know how to deal properly. but i think about them a lot. obviously. what you see is mostly the negatives. the frustrations and the confusions and the residual aches and pains. mostly because these are what im trying best to understand. i want to understand them, i want to understand their perspective. it frustrates me when i cant understand, and it frustrates me more when i feel as if they couldnt understand me or didnt even try. but i still care for them greatly. which is why i get frustrated. i do not think many people understand this. i want to understand why they hurt me. i want to understand how i hurt them. i want to learn and grow. but to do that i also have to experience and process the anger and frustration i felt towards them. this is what you all see when i ramble and rant.

anyway this is the last time im doing this publicly because honestly this is a stupid way to process stuff this and i figured out something way better. also im just. tired of it. im tired of being angry and being hurt. that doesnt mean itll stop but. yall wont be seeing it.

i still hold many of my previous thoughts and criticisms of them. and i still consider many of these valid and fair. and i still deny ever doing many of the things they accused me of because ive spoken with other people about them - people actually involved in the situation(s), and they have supported and corroborated my side of the story as well as my feelings regarding those various situations.

however i have come to some realizations that i think allow me to better understand parts of their side of it all.

ive realized some things about myself and how my mind functions that have lead me to other realizations. these realizations include that i misunderstood a lot of things they were trying to get me to do, tools they were trying to get me to employ, things that actually would have been helpful to me had i understood. i see now that in some of the cases they were pushing me on and making me extremely uncomfortable with, that they were genuinely trying to be helpful because they cared. because they were trying to help me just as i was trying to help them.

the problem here is that i was not ready for, and did not understand a lot of the new things being pushed at me. much of what they were trying to get me to engage with were therapy techniques and stuff to learn to cope better. unfortunately due to a lot of previous bad experiences with therapy and such techniques i am extremely adverse to and suspicious of therapy and therapeutic settings/techniques. combined with a lot of new information about myself that i needed time to adjust to and process. a lot of it scared me and i needed them to slow down and be gentler with me in this rather than throwing me in the deep end and expecting me to swim.

i misunderstood a lot of the tools they were trying to offer me - how to use them properly and why. i thought i made this obvious that i didnt understand a lot of it and in fact didnt want to engage with a lot of it outright - even though i was willing to try. the issue is i also needed a good example or instruction of what they wanted from me and… well. they did their best, this i know they tried, but it was not enough for me to understand what they really wanted from me.

i now understand that this is likely why they grew frustrated with me. and this also factors into something that ive come to realize and understand about myself - in fact its one of the things they criticized about me most… ive come to understand the true nature of what the thing i did that they hated most was actually. and ive since worked out a solution to it that actually has been shown to be far more effective and efficient in doing what the thing they were criticizing me about most was doing. this took a lot of work and a long time for me to come to the realization of what it was that i needed to do and how it worked. and i needed to be allowed to make this discovery on my own time, at my own pace to be able to accept it as part of how i work.

unfortunately due to a lot of things, i was also quite terrible to them myself. and i recognize this. i recognized it before - i tried my best to fix my understanding of it but i did not know what i didnt know. i did not know, and did not understand, what i now know and understand. but much of my actions were because i was scared, confused, uncomfortable, and dealing with a whole lot of shit outside of our relationship. and i am genuinely and truly remorseful for what i did. i was remorseful back then, and i still am now. i did some bad things and i know this. i speak of it vaguely here because honestly while im just shouting to the void i still know this is a public blog and theres a chance people will actually read this and frankly. i consider it none of their business unless they were involved. i did lash out at them, and i did treat them unfairly.

however i still feel as if they refuse to acknowledge my point of view in much of this, as well as that they lashed out at me and have refused to acknowledge and apologize for it all. i have never heard them say the words “im sorry” for any of the things i consider the worst things they did to me. much of the time they refused to even acknowledge the fact that a lot of it hurt me despite me outright stating such. they also refused to acknowledge that i had repeatedly tried to assert my own boundaries with them and refused to accept a new boundary when it was drawn.

they did a lot of terrible things to me in return. including things that they, themself, accused me of doing to them initially. i still deny these accusations and consider myself completely innocent (at worst, should my own memory really be that faulty, i consider myself only having caused a huge misunderstanding among friends as well as having accidentally fucking up something that left out important context). i feel this way because they would not produce any evidence to prove to me my own actions that would negate the memories i myself actually have as well as the evidence in support of my side of the case that i have. all they could provide was testimony from a person who would not have had direct access to either side of the conversation that they are alleging happened a certain way. a conversation that i, personally, was half of. a conversation that i spoke with the other half about again, after showing them what i was being accused of, who also verified my recollection of the events.

i feel as if they refuse to even consider my perspective. i felt this way for a good amount of the relationship, and i still feel this way. i feel that they refused to communicate with me and ensure that both of us completely understood the other. i feel that they refused to be considerate of my needs and respectful towards me as a person after a certain point. i feel as if they refused to work to compromise with me on many situations, and i feel that they often tried to demand of me many things that were unreasonable, and that they often moved goalposts or failed to deliver on their end of the deal when i still bent over backwards to do something for them.

however. i do also feel that at some point in time, they did genuinely care for me. and i do feel like i would like to apologize for the new places where i realize i caused them undue stress and frustration.

but i also feel that they would not accept this apology for those parts that i now recognize my own hand in without me accepting and apologizing for the narrative that i know is false. additionally… i do not feel as if they would accept or apologize for any of their own parts in the situation. i still feel theyre likely to reject that they hurt me very very deeply, and badly in return.

as much as i would like to start the conversation of potentially working out the issues and reconnecting as friends… i still feel as if they would view this as an impossibility. because i feel they view me as something of a monster, and not as someone who was under immense amounts of stress and pressure and was very confused and scared for months on end.

i recognize its very likely their feelings echo my own. except for the portion about potentially being friends again… i feel as if this is a forgone conclusion to them that it will not be happening.

all this said…

i also want to say this. in hindsight they were right about the tool they gave to me for one of my specific issues. the one they gave me before the start of it all. the one i was extremely adverse to accepting and trying to adapt to. i did not understand what its actual purpose was for at the time, nor did i understand how they actually meant for me to use it. because of some recent things ive learned about myself, as well as have been able to actually accept, i now understand what they meant. and ill admit that they were right about this one. its really helpful now that i understand what i was supposed to do with it.

they were right and i was wrong. simple as. at least, in regards to this one thing.

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[botheredbuck]

hey sweetheart, can u pls make a post for me that is pure infodumping ant this ship that you like so i can learn more about it? thankyou please 💖💖

ayes yes i can very much do that hhhhh

so!! ballum!! an outsider’s rundown. first their individual characters + backstory

ben 

- is a mitchell which is one of like the major families in eastenders, one that has been in the show since it started 

- son of phil mitchell who used to be like a major gangsta but now he’s just kinda old and wrinkly and tries to be scary 

- phil is also an alcoholic and he abused ben when he was a kid, and treated him like shit because he wasn’t overly masculine, is also a bit of a homophobe and was really shitty to ben when he came out 

- ben’s hard of hearing, so like he had maningitis when he was a kid and lost some of his hearing and so he’s had a hearing aid all his life (another thing that phil picked on him for cause he’s an ass) and recently lost more of his hearing in an accident 

- has been in prison for manslaughter oops

- has a daughter from when he was trying to prove that he was straight but it’s okay because lexi is a little badass and we love her. 

- was with this guy paul a while ago who got killed and it was hella sad 

callum

- was also abused by an alcoholic homophobic dad for most of his childhood, but his family aren’t very important on the square. he has a brother stuart who used to be kinda creepy but like i like him now so like yeah

- was a cook in the army for a while (because he was trying to prove that he was straight, although that’s not confirmed canon it might as well be, just like his ptsd) but ended up coming home after getting injured, also he was in love with this guy in the army but he’s dead now as well 

- was with this nice girl whitney for ages but then he cheated on her with ben (they did it in a park oop) and told her that he cheated on the night before their wedding, so the wedding got called off and unrelated but ben ended up getting shot at the wedding which ended up in a lot of angsty pining (he was fine eventually)

- came out to his dad in front of a whole pub worth of people and it was really badass bc his dad’s an ass 

- is now a police offer (EW)

okay so!! general basic storyline stuff (im going to try and restrain myself because ive tried typing this out before and it was 1000 words before i even got to like the start of this year)

ben and callum meet while callum is still pretending to be straight and with whitney, but ben sells him a dodgy car (oh yeah ben’s a criminal kinda) and callum confronts him and ben figures out that he’s gay (that is a really iconic scene if you’re looking for one to watch it’s generally just known as the i smell queer scene). then they’re sort of running around pining for ages until callum cracks, goes to confront ben, and they end up doing it in a park. 

yay.

the next day callum then proposes to whitney (sensible move), cue another good few months of pining until callum and whitney’s wedding, where whitney leaves him at the altar, and ben gets shot at the wedding reception. he’s fine tho (those scenes are also really good, if you just look up ben gets shot on yt) and they agree to go on a date. 

it then takes them a while to actually go on the date bc idk eastenders is weird, and then a little further along the line comes the scene where callum comes out to his dad and like half the square in the middle of a pub, then gives ben a big ol’ smooch in front of everyone (another amazing scene). 

then they’re together!! it’s kinda happy for a while!! callum encourages ben to not be so criminal, he kinda does it for like a couple of weeks 

and then christmas comes and oooh boy 

essentially, in simple terms- ben breaks up with callum to protect him, because ben’s being forced to kill someone for his dad, and that’s really sad. ben gets someone else to kill said guy (except they dont and THAT’S a whole drama) and callum comes back and they do it on a desk and get back together eventually. 

THEN 

the guy that ben was supposed to kill comes back and kidnaps callum, and this whole set of episodes is generally considered as some of ee’s best (at least by me) so i won’t say too much about these, because if youre gonna watch any i’d reccomed these episodes, it was the eastenders 35th anniversary, and it was actually so amazing in so many ways (i could write a whole other post about that but like yeah). 

essentially, something happens and ben ends up losing a lot more of his hearing, which he really struggles with. callum helps him through it, because he loves him (its so SOFT) and then eventually comes the scene where ben tells callum that he loves him for the first time and my fuck that is probably one of my favourite scenes so thats definitely worth a watch. basically, ben struggles with his hearing and the subsequent treatments for a long time, and ends up doing a robbery with his dad to try and prove that he still can, and this is about when ee went on a break over lockdown. 

AND THEN COMES EE SEASON 2

(thats a funny because ee have never been on a break in 35years before the break during lockdown so we’ve termed everything post that ee season 2)

oh and its a whole fucking load of drama. fuckin lot of angst. callum becomes part of the police (ew) and ends up getting blackmailed by his boss over ben, and it’s been really hard on him which is why we’re all anticipating him having a breakdown and it’s gonna be REALLY SAD. 

now there’s a lot of debate over the current sl that callum has, and honestly there have been bits of it that i liked?? my favourite episode has been the one in which callums brother gets married (stuart and rainie are fucking amazing), and callum also beat up a guy to defend ben’s honour. which could possibly get him in even more trouble because now he’s being super blackmailed by his boss :(((

fuck i just realised how long this is oops 

anyways thats about the jist of where we’re up to now?? ee season 2 for ballum has pretty much just been back and forth on callum’s storyline, im kinda liking it tbh?? but there’s a lot of questionable choices unfortunately. 

anyways i hope you enjoyed this lmao because i certainly did but im sorry it’s so long (if you want any specific scenes or bits to wacth feel free to let me know hehe)

anywasy sorry again oops hehe enjoy this <3

[incorrecttwoset]

Lesson time with Dani:

I think the thing we all learned here today is classical music is still very, VERY much alive. And that pop could be a pretty iNtEreStInG way to indoctrinate introduce people to classical music. I've been listening to a bunch of pop lately and honestly? It was a WEIRD experience. I kept getting befuddled by the amount of music there was (3 minutes of catchy beats is nOTHING against a half hour of intense musical dialog, argument, and passion) and the repetitiveness and simplicity of it (like dude wheres the motif? Is the motif your beat? Why is it playing the same thing over and over? Huh?). But, its still good music. There were a couple outliers too, that really gave me an experience. (Check out seasonal feathers by hitoshizuku it broke my heart) Look, what im trying to say is- classical and pop are both amazing genres of music that can do incredible things and I'm just happy that they can coexist together in one... piece? Of music. (My opinion might be a lil different compared to my lesson time on their other vid but hey people change)

So, lets get on with the songs!

Road to Kingdom - T. O. P. (Covered by Golden Child) and Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky. I... honestly, I didn't hear it at first. The electro music covered up much of the phrase. (please forgive my horrible usage of musical terms im just a kid thats really into classical music, in still learning how to understand and appreciate it everyday mkay?) Well, that's what I thought at first but I guess the transition from electro pop to singing along with classical jarred me so much that I had to listen to it a couple times before catching it. Anyways, the singing kinda vibed a lil with the music but when they changed singers or went a higher key, it started loosing that (already really loose) connection because even though I knew the tchaik would go higher, the singer went higher in a different key and it felt pretty weird and strange like what Eddy said. But overall, id listen to it. ...which isn't really that high of praise since I listen to everything (oh man... the days when i could still rap eminem's rap god to perfection...)

Shinhwa - T. O. P. and Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky (again). I'm not mad at them for using this a lot actually. I've been trying to watch the ballet on youtube but my classical music listening and appreciation and understanding skills are not yet that refined. (Aka i was already a goner when aCT ONE SCENE TWO WAS STARTING. Sigh, i need more training... and more Inside the Score) aNYWAYS- To quote Eddy, oh tHATS SO WEIRD. I literally said it at the exact same time as him lol. But like seriously thoooo. I thought it was gonna like, transition to the piece but like. No. They're just... singing to the tune. I mean like, you can't ruin perfection you guys but like- add a tune? Or something of your own? That isnt just lyrics? Ah shit, now I cant stop imaging playboy!Tchaik ugh. Thank you for making my brain run a mile a minute and being the reason why I won't be sleeping for a couple hours.

Top Dog - Topp Dog and Symphony in G Minor, No. 25 - Mozart. When I heard the first notes of the piece, I reacted the same as both of them. Aka, i recognized it but I forgot the name. As you do with classical music. I've always wanted to download and listen to that piece. Maybe this is a sign... Anyways, the piece here really just vibed with the song ykno? I think its because they decided that they didn't want to overpower the piece by slapping their own music on top but like... they accented and accompanied and complimented it without the spotlight being stolen from them. They brought their own little twist to it and I feel like thats why it works so much. But, I still prefer the orig because it isnt just tHREE MINUTES LONG. (cue airhorns and fire emojis) But its a great combo overall. 10 out of 10, would classical again.

Jimin - Lie and La Vida Breve - Manuel de Falla. Honestly, to me, i feel like literally anyone could come up with that tune. Its like, a really fast beat. You know how almost every basic piece of music uses dun dun tss as a beat? Its kinda like that to me. Because, speaking from my own personal opinions here, fast beats sound nice and that doesnt necessarily mean that it was inspired by a fast part in a piece. Or maybe Jimin listens to classical. WhO kNoWs?

Cherry Bullet - Hands Up and Beethoven's Fur Elise. That "EeeEeeeh" part made me laugh out loud the first time i watched this vid. It still jarrs me like oh my god what the heck why. Dude, they literally just slapped that part into different parts of the song and im- you didnt need to give me more reason to be sick of the opening of Fur Elise. I feel like if I listened to that, the opening is gonna be stuck in my head forever. At least they didnt repeat the "EEEEEE" thing. And honestly, id love to agree with the bois on this one but like... the opening of the song itself broke me im so sorry im so hung over this one detail gOD.

Gfriend - Summer Rain and Schumann - Dichterliebe. All i can say in this part is... Thank you editor-san for adding in that one detail those precious boys missed. But, as ive only seriously gotten into classical recently and therefore arent familiar with a lot of composers works, i can only hear the influence in the beginning instrumental of the song. So uh... might give it a listen for detail. But, i probably wont.

And, oh yeah is it just me or do they seem really tired? Or just... kinda out of it in this one? Because at the end, Eddy was just kinda... playin around with ding ding while Brett carries the energy for the both of them. Hope theyre not stressed but if they are, i hope they get some much needed rest and energy. I also wonder what was up with yesterday. Aka, they didn't post a vid yesterday and i got cONCERNED. I just hope theyre alright.