#if anyone is interested i can make a post about my process for finding new dragon pairs?

[crowsofdarkness]

Soldat: Chapter Seven

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader. Slight Steve Rogers x Female Agent! Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, kidnapping, violence.

Summary: Agent Y/N has worked alongside Steve Rogers at SHIELD for some time all while keeping a dark secret from everyone. Until one day that darkness faces her head on and she's forced to make a choice. Continue fighting along side Captain America? Or find her home once again with Soldat?

Authors Note: This was originally published on my old blog as a trilogy so I will be in the slow process of adding it to this blog. This is the first of the trilogy and will take place during The Winter Soldier. If anyone is interested in being tagged, let me know!

Very slight implied smut in this chapter, very tame. Also, there are three chapters left! Once Soldat is complete, I will begin posting the next in the series.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl

Soldat Masterlist

Day One 

Eyes fluttered open softly, allowing the light to blind me for a few seconds as I stared up at the crackling ceiling. I followed the lines, hoping that it would lead me to an idea where I was but came up empty as I realized I was in a room with no windows, one door, and the lone cot I was currently laying on. My heart thumped in fear as I tried to remember how I ended up here. 

I was drinking in a bar in Siberia as I was going over my notes for the local terrorist group I was following. I was alone for most of the night until a strange man came up beside me, gun pressed to my side, muttering in my ear that I had to go with him or else.

The last thing I could remember was getting thrown into the back of a van and darkness. The watch on my wrist indicated that happened..

Sixteen hours ago?!

“What the fuck happened to me?” I groaned, clutching my forehead. 

The door clicked open, men dressed in European military uniforms catching my immediate attention. 

“Where am I?” I spoke in the native tongue. 

They ignored me, continuing on with their own conversation and paid no attention as they stood guard at the door, guns slightly drawn. 

Discreetly, I slid my hand down my calf trying to feel if the knife I stashed into my boot was still there. 

“You think we would leave you with a weapon?”

A small man entered the room now, glasses perched high on his nose. He gently removed his hat, handing it to one of the guards before sitting on a chair in front of my cot. 

“Who are you?” I questioned. 

He merely tsk’d before pulling a grey folder from his briefcase. “Y/N L/N. You’ve been an agent with the FBI for almost two years now and you’ve only been on one case. Why is that?” 

“Is that a file on me?” My eyes landed on the file.

“You were on New York SWAT for three years before this but had to leave for ‘different opinions’ pertaining to a rather personal case.” 

“That’s no one's business but my own,” I snapped. “You shouldn’t even have that information.” 

“I’m a very powerful man, Ms. L/N. I have many ways to get the information I want. Just like how you got info about me.” 

“Am I supposed to know who you are?” I squinted my eyes at him. 

“You’ve been looking for me for the last six months. I thought we could finally meet.” He gave me a small smile. 

“Wait,” my eyes widened. “You’re Dr. Zola? I thought you were dead. That’s why it’s been so hard to find you.” 

The older gentleman clicked his tongue against his teeth. “No, not Zola. But his apprentice. You can call me Dr. Berge” 

“Why did you kidnap me? To shut me up?” I crossed my arms over my chest, foot shaking with nerves. 

Dr. Berge handed one of the guards the folder before shaking his head. “Our last student didn’t make it. We needed someone new.” 

“Stu-student?” I stuttered. 

“Yes, for Soldat.” Bergenodded. 

“Soldat?” 

He answered my question with a wave; a new man entered the small room. My tired eyes raked in his appearance from head to toe. He was dressed in combat boots and black cargo pants. His broad chest was covered in a black vest, various pockets that held God only knew what, his long brown hair was falling into his eyes but did nothing to fix it. The only thing that held my gaze, however, was his left arm. It wasn’t like his right; this one was made entirely of metal. 

“Who’s this?” I questioned, voice shaking with fear. 

“Ah Soldat, meet your new student. Hopefully she’ll last longer than the last one.” Berge clapped his hands before leaving the room. 

Soldat remained in place, a few feet away from me, and he slowly nodded to the guards. 

“Leave us,” he demanded in Russian. 

Suddenly, it was just him and I, my fear being the only thing you could feel in the room by my heart beating faster and faster. 

“What am I your student for?” I mustered to ask. 

“To fight.”

Day 23 

“I need a minute,” I gasped for air as I tried to gain some space. 

“You don’t have a minute.” Soldat reminded me as he flipped me over his shoulder, my own falling hard to the mat below. 

It had been a hell of a couple of weeks. I had been captured by who I had come to find was the terrorist group I had been searching for; Hydra. 

Every morning and night, Soldat would come to my room and train me for hours, fighting non stop. I had yet to find out why I was being trained to fight. 

Soldat barely said a word to me during these training sessions. He was instructed to train me not to make small talk. I couldn’t get a read on him, what his story was or how he ended up here. 

“Mother fucker,” I cursed, clutching my shoulder. “I think it’s dislocated.” 

Soldat remained silent, roughly pulling me to my feet and snapped my arm back into place causing a scream to erupt from my throat. 

“That’s enough!” I screamed pushing my palms into his chest. “I’m done! No one has told me why I’m here, getting my ass kicked by a guy with a fucking metal arm!” 

A small smile pulled at his lips and all the anger from being held captive here built up causing me to bring my hand back, wiping that smile off his face with my fist. 

Regret filled me when I saw the quick flash of anger cloud his eyes but his deep laugh relaxed my shoulders a tad. 

“That’s more like it.” He muttered while rubbing his jaw. 

“I already know how to fight. I don’t need someone to teach me,” I admitted, fists clenched at my sides. 

Soldat nodded. “Then next time should be easy for you.” 

Day 37

The chill in the air caused me to wrap the blanket closer to me as I dug myself deeper into the bed that I started calling my own. I was unsure of the time but the tiredness in my bones made me believe it was time to let sleep succumb to me. 

A soft sigh left my lips as my mind wandered yet again to the man that had been clouding it the past few weeks. 

It had been almost two weeks since my last training session with Soldat. He stopped coming by in the mornings and nights which made me wonder if our sessions were over and what that meant for me. 

That thought was short-lived when Berge brought in someone else to train me. He didn’t want me to forget anything while Soldat was away. 

Rumor had it, Hydra sent him away from some mission. 

Besides the one old guard that would bring my food twice a day, Soldat was the only constant thing in this prison that had become my home. 

Heavy eyes fluttered shut, breaths becoming deeper and heavier and the long awaited sleep was so close. But the door to my room slamming open caused my eyes to snap open and I pushed myself to my knees. I watched as Soldat entered, anger clear on his face. 

“Where have you-.” 

The air to my lungs was constricted as Soldat wrapped his metal fingers around my throat, slamming me deeper into the cot. 

I trashed against his body, nails digging into the skin of his flesh arm, not bothering him an inch. I racked my brain for all the training he had taught me to try and get out of this. I attempted to wrap my legs around his waist to flip him but he was two seconds ahead of me, his flesh hand pining my hips down onto the bed. 

My body began to sweat with the fear of what was about to come. 

I wrapped a hand around his metal wrist as I looked into his eyes, the light far gone from them. 

“Soldat,” I choked out. 

The air suddenly rushed back into my lungs causing me to cough uncontrollably as he finally let go, the bruises already starting to form I was sure. 

His hand and hips kept me locked into place on the bed and his other hand gripped my chin, forcing me to look in his eyes. 

“You only train with me. No one else can have you.” His voice demanded through gritted teeth. 

Once I could breathe again, I gave him a sorrowful nod. “I’m sorry.” 

We stayed in this position for a few more beats, his hips locking mine into place while his eyes bore into my own. His chest rose and fell with each breath, mimicking my own in the small tank top I wore; it was one of the few clothes that Hydra had lent me. 

Soldat’s eyes traveled over the swell of my breasts and I felt the heat spread down to my core as he slowly ran his tongue over his bottom lip. 

“Get some sleep. We’re starting early tomorrow,” he breathed before pushing himself off of me. 

The room had a sudden chill to it as soon as he left the room and after wrapping myself into a cocoon with my blanket, I found myself falling asleep wishing it was his arms

Day 56

Chains dragged behind me as I followed the path the two guards were leading me on. We turned a corner and continued down another long hallway. They had dragged me out of bed this morning, muttering something about getting some “fresh air”. 

I chuckled at their definition of fresh air; it was a small sunroom with a few potted plants and one large bench seat. Thankfully the bright sunlight beamed through the glass windows, spreading warmth into my skin. 

“Ten minutes,” one of the guards demanded while tossing me a book. 

They took their post on the outside of the door, backs turned to me, and I opted for not reading the book deciding I would rather stare out of the windows. This was the first time in almost two months that I had been granted access to the outside world. 

Sort of. 

The beautiful images of mountains scattered the skyline, the fresh snow blowing in the wind. I walked closer to the windows, peering down below and that was when I realized I was high up. 

Wherever I was being held captive was on top of a mountain. 

“Beautiful.” 

Jumping at the deep voice, I looked over my shoulder and a small smile came to my face. 

“Soldat, you’ve returned.” 

He nodded, tucking a strand of hair out of his face. “I returned last night.” 

“How was your mission?” 

His silence was enough of an answer I needed. 

“Have you been training?” He questioned, still keeping a safe distance between us. 

Immediately I shook my head, the chains rattling. “They won’t let me while you're away. You’re the only one I can train with.”

Soldat turned his head, eyes taking in the appearance of the chains around my wrists and ankles. A scowl appeared underneath the stubble covering his mouth and he beckoned me over with a finger. 

Swallowing thickly, I tried the best I could to walk over to him, feet coming to a halt in front of him. He gripped the chains with his metal fingers, breaking them off of me with ease. 

“You’re not a monster,” he muttered. 

I rubbed away the red marks on my wrists while giving him a smile of thanks. “What will happen to you once they find out?”

“You should get some rest, we have a big training session tomorrow.” Soldat spoke, ignoring my question. 

I wondered with fear what exactly they would do to him. Every time he would arrive back from a mission, his screams would echo through the base, keeping me awake at night. I yearned to be with him, comfort him. He was the only constant in my life now, I would do anything to be with him; to keep him from pain. 

“Will you sit with me?” I nodded to the bench. “We don’t need to talk, just your company is enough.” 

His body tensed, a bit hesitant, before he nodded and we both sat down with our knees a few spaces away from each other. I reached for the book and felt his gaze burn deep into the side of my head as I quietly read the pages, Russian almost becoming a second language to me. 

We sat in silence, Soldat’s eyes watching me as I carefully turned the pages of the book, enjoying the quiet company of the man who would scare others. 

“Soldat, do you know what this word is? I haven’t come across this one yet.” 

I pointed towards a word in the book that was giving me trouble and felt the heat radiate off of him as he leaned closer to me, his shoulder brushing against my own. 

“Dorogaya. It means my darling.” 

My core twitched at the Russian translation and I coughed, trying to mask my arousal. “Thank you.” 

“Dorogaya,” he repeated, this time more quietly to himself. 

Day 85

“Faster! Harder!”

I let the screams of slight encouragement fuel me as I landed my fists into Soldat’s bare stomach, the force behind my punches doing nothing to phase him. 

He reached for my neck but I swiftly ducked while spinning on my heels, tripping him in the process. Soldat landed hard on his back, the wind being knocked out of him, and I straddled his hips with my own, my hands pinning his own above his head. 

Our breaths matched in sync, eyes boring into each other, and the sight of the smirk on his face made my heart nearly burst out of its cage. 

“I win,” I breathed, my breath fanning over his bare chest. 

My fingers itched want to run all over his grooves and muscles. Resisting the urge, I released my grip on his hands but felt the world turn as Soldat gripped my hips, slamming me on my back. His dark eyes stared down at mine, tongue rolling antagonizing slowly between his lips. He leaned closer to my own, his warm breath breathing life into me. 

“I let you win.” 

“Oh really,” I cheekily asked, a flirtatious smirk pulling at my lips. 

Soldat nodded with his nose brushing against my own. “Of course, dorogaya.” 

My heart fluttered at the pet name he had given me. Ever since our time in the sun room together, we had slowly started becoming closer with each and every training session. I was, however, afraid to take it farther than our flirtatious comments and soft touches. I wouldn’t allow him to get in trouble, or worse; hurt. Just because of how I felt about him. 

His metal fingers traced down from my cheek to my neck and rested above the lines of my breasts. My breath became erratic when the lightly brushed over my left nipple, perky already due to the coldness of the building. Fingers dug through his locks and gave a slight tug causing a groan to vibrate low in Soldat’s chest. 

“Are you leaving again?” I asked. 

He shook his head while palming my breast and I allowed a moan to slip through my lips.

“I told them no more missions until our training is done,” He spoke low. 

I nodded. 

“We really should stop. Before they find us.” I stuttered, not wanting him to stop kneading my breast with his hand. 

“Let them, they can’t do anything to hurt me that they haven’t done before,” Soldat breathed into the skin of my neck. 

He nipped and sucked there, leaving his mark to show the others here who I belonged to. My hands ran down the thickness of his back and I pressed my hips up into his, a loud hiss breaking its way out of his throat. 

“Dorogaya,” Soldat moaned. 

My fingers traced up his back, slowly fading over where his skin met metal. His body tensed, the lust in the air immediately dissipating as he pushed his body off of me. I was left alone on the dirty floor of my room as I watched him grab his shirt, throwing it over his chest. 

“Did I do something?” I questioned, sitting to my knees. 

“I need to go,” he grunted. 

“Soldat,” I stood to my feet now, “Please tell me if I did something!” 

He ignored my cries of wonder, letting the door slam behind him and drowning out my quiet sobs. 

Day 124

No more training sessions. 

Berge had told me that I was done training with Soldat. He had too many missions to go on and not enough time to give to me. Doubt racked my brain if that was truly the reason why they wouldn’t allow him to train me anymore. They must have found out about us. 

I couldn’t dwell on it for long, Berge assigned another guard to my training. He wasn’t anything compared to Soldat; he was quiet and wouldn’t allow me the chance to improve. Only wanting to show off his strength. We had moved the training sessions in the main area of the compound, in front of every eye. But the only eyes that mattered were the ones that I wanted approval of. 

Soldat would watch from a distance, not bothering to step in when the new trainer would hit me a little too hard. I wouldn’t let that phase me, though. I gave it back a hundred times harder which would only anger him more. 

Which is how I ended up sporting a black eye for the last week. 

Soldat almost stepped in when the new trainers hand grazed lower and lower from my back with each session. Earlier today, we had been sparring in front of all of the other guards and I did my best to ignore their gawks of stares as I attempted to land a strike to his stomach. He was a step ahead of me, twisting my wrist behind my back and pulling me into his chest. I felt his rapid breathing against my back as he leaned his lips against my ear. 

“I love the way your ass fits against me,” He groaned. 

I knew if I tried anything he would twist my arm higher up so I stood frozen in fear while my eyes traveled to the man in the corner, giving him silent pleads for help. 

Soldat turned his back on me. 

After the sparring session, I retreated back to my room, a broken woman. My ego was hurt that I had succumbed so low to these beatings in front of other men. My heart was broken that the one man I had fallen hard for wanted nothing to do with me.

A soft groan left my lips as I stared out into the darkness of the room, sleep being the farthest thing from my mind. 

“God, Y/N you’ve got to move on from him,” I ran a hand over my face with a very unattractive groan leaving my lips. 

“Talking to yourself again?” 

Sitting up in bed, I turned on the bedside lamp and made out a large silhouette standing by the door. But even in the soft darkness, the metal arm was hard to miss. 

“What are you doing here?” I questioned. 

Soldat stepped closer, stopping at the foot of my bed. “I’ve come to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” My voice shook with fear. 

I then noticed he was dressed in his tac gear which meant only one thing. 

“You’re going on a mission?” 

He nodded. “I’ll be back by tomorrow night.” 

Pulling my knees to my chest, I raised my brow at him. “You’ve never said goodbye before.”

“I wanted to see you.” He gave a small shrug of his broad shoulders. 

“Oh,” I mouthed.

I allowed silence to overcome us as we both stared at one another, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. My palms began to sweat seeing the fire behind his eyes and I absentmindedly bit my lip. 

Soldat ran a hand through his hair before a quiet fuck it slipped from his lips. He kicked off his boots before crawling his way towards me on the bed. 

���What are you doing?” I asked. 

He ignored my question, only rolling onto his back while pulling me into his chest and his arms wrapping around me. The rapid beating of his heart told me that he was nervous but still kept his arms tightly around me. 

“I’ve been on hundreds of missions but now,” Soldat started, “Now, I’m worried about leaving you. With them.” 

“I’ll be fine. You’ve taught me well.” I gave his sides a small squeeze. 

“I’ve never felt this way before. It’s all new to me.” He admitted. 

“What is?” 

Instead of using words, Soldat’s fingers grazed my chin and pulled my face up to look into his eyes. He took a deep breath before he gently placed his plump lips over mine. The hairs on his chin and face tickled me as our lips moved slowly in sync. 

My heart thumped through its cage in my chest as I ran my fingers through his hair, deepening the kiss. His own hands found their way over my stomach, down to my core and slowly ghosted over it. 

“Soldat, please.” I moaned. 

“You’re mine.” He grunted, fingers finally touching my heated core over my shorts. “All mine.” 

“Only yours, I promise.” 

My breath hitched in my throat when I felt the heat of his fingers against the skin of my stomach, brushing over the waistband of my shorts. While his flesh ones worked with the ties of my shorts, his metal one pulled the ends of my hair, forcing my eyes away from his work on my shorts. 

“I’ll come back to you.” He vowed. 

I nodded. 

“I know you will and I’ll be here waiting for you. Always.” 

Soldat brushed his lips against mine, tongue delving between my lips and danced with my own as the kiss intensified. 

“I have to go.” He groaned against me. 

“Stay.” I begged, clutching onto his arms. 

“It’s my mission.” 

Pulling away reluctantly, I gripped his chin and stared into his eyes. “Please be safe.” 

“Of course, dorogaya.” 

Day 131

Seven days. 

One week. 

168 hours. 

That’s how long it had been since I last saw Soldat. 

He had yet to return from his mission and what originally was supposed to be a one night mission turned into one week. 

I sat on the edge of my cot with my knee bouncing in worry as I chewed roughly on my bottom lip. I feared that Berge had found out about Soldat and I, which was the reason why he had yet to return. 

“Where the hell are you?” I muttered. 

I waited a little while longer, eyes trained hard on the door, hoping that he would bust through any moment. But after a few minutes of nothingness, I turned my back to the door only for it to open a second later. 

“Come with me.” 

My eyes squinted towards the guard, confusion well on my face. “Where are you taking me? I haven’t left in a whole week.” 

“Soldat’s orders.” The guard ordered. 

My heart rate sped up at the mention of his name. “Is he back?” 

“No but he’s requested that you stay in his living quarters now.” 

“Wh-what? Why?” I sputtered. 

“As a reward for completing his mission. Come now.” 

The guard quickly waved me to follow and not wanting to live another minute in this tiny hell, I scrambled to my feet and followed. Not bothering to take anything with me, I tracked close behind the guard as we turned a few more corners, coming to a stop at a lone door at the end of the hallway. 

The guard grunted towards the door before leaving me alone, my steady breaths coming in and out of my nose as I took a second to gain my bearings. In the months that I had been held captive here, I had never seen Soldat’s room; or anything else besides my room, the sparing center, and the “outside” room I was allowed to sit in every few days. 

My hand gently grasped the cold knob and taking one last breath, I slowly pushed the door open. Before my feet crossed the threshold, I gazed around the room taking in every inch of Soldat’s private space. 

It wasn’t big by any means, it would definitely be crowded with the two of us, however it warmed my heart knowing that we would be sharing that bed together. The bed was only made for one and was even small for Soldat. 

Next to the bed was a table that mirrored the one I had in my room. On the top of the table rested a small lamp and a book that looked like it was read ten times over. On the other side of the room was a small dresser that had more books resting on it and next to the dresser was a door that led to somewhere I was unsure of. The large window on one wall allowed the sunset to stream in, painting the entire room in a golden light. 

My gaze rested on a pair of clothes that were neatly folded on the chair in the other corner of the room. Taking a breath, I crossed over the threshold into Soldat’s room and grasped the pair of clean clothes in my hands. It was only a new pair of jeans, underwear, and a long sleeve shirt but the soft fabric was enough to bring me to tears. I had only been given new clothes once since being here and that was the first night. 

“It’s not much but it’s home.” 

Jumping at the deep voice, I turned on my heels and felt my heart leap to my throat. Soldat stood at the doorway, his body a clear indication of the toll the mission put on him. Stray hairs had fallen from the low bun he had pulled them in, the lines on his face screamed that he hadn’t slept in days, and his tac gear was covered in dirt and blood, the blood had also covered his metal arm in streams. Fear raked my body, wondering whose blood was all over Soldat and I bit my lip to stop from asking. 

“You’re back,” I breathed. 

He remained silent, his intense gaze taking over my body. His body tensed when he fell on my lips, the sight of the two cuts burning into his brain. 

“What happened?” 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shifted on my feet. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.” 

“What happened?” Soldat questioned again, this time closing the distance between us. 

Metal fingers gripped my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes as they danced over my face. Anger flashed across them when the soft words left my busted lips. 

“Ben didn’t appreciate getting beat by a girl.” 

“What did he do?” Soldat demanded. 

“He just hit me a little too hard. I’m fine, Soldat.” I reassured him as I gripped his flesh arm. 

The anger still flooded his veins and I linked my fingers with his metal ones, fearing he would leave me and do something we would both regret. 

“You need to get yourself cleaned up,” I encouraged. 

Soldat was still silent, only giving me a small nod as he pulled me with him towards the closed door. 

“What?” I questioned. 

“You need a bath.” He demanded. 

Licking my lips, I let the fear of him seeing my bare flesh push away the thoughts of us in the bath together.

“No, you can go first Soldat. The blood is going to take awhile to clean.” I lied, hoping that would keep the thought of us naked together out of his head. 

I was afraid of what he would think when he saw the bruises and scars that covered my body. 

His eyes hardened, seeing right through my lies, as he gripped my arm causing a loud hiss to pass through my lips. 

“Fuck,” I cursed pulling my arm to my chest. 

He didn’t grip me that hard, I knew that. It only hurt because of the bruise that covered half of my forearm. 

“Take off your shirt.” 

The soles of my shoes were frozen to my spot, being weighed down with the fear of what Soldat was about to see.

“Sol-.” I started. 

“Take it off,” his voice was deeper and rougher. 

Gnawing on my bottom lip, shaky fingers gripped the bottom of my shirt, slowly raising it over my stomach and head, letting it fall to the floor in silence. Instinctively my arms wrapped around my chest, trying to cover as much as I could. Soldat didn’t make me uncomfortable; the idea of showing him my battle scars is what did. 

His dark eyes were now almost black as he looked over my bareness of flesh, taking in every inch of bruises and new scars that had yet to heal over my stomach, chest, and arms. The blood had dried hours ago but the exhaustion of today’s training had stopped me from cleaning my wounds. 

My mouth dried with the intensity radiating from Soldat’s body. 

“We-uh, Ben decided to start the knife training today. He wouldn’t let me get a chance to prove myself. He kept stabbing and slicing,” I admitted quietly. 

Soldat's tongue grazed over his bottom lip and nodded to the door behind me. “We need to clean those wounds.” 

“Are you upset?” 

The tone in his voice answered my question before I even asked it but I needed to make sure he wouldn’t leave, do something stupid. 

He remained silent, beckoning me to follow him with a snap of his head. Obeying with a soft sigh, I trailed behind him into the bathroom that was connected to his room. The soft breeze coming from the vents caused me to wrap my arms around my bare chest, trying to keep the warmth in. I could see the way Soldat’s muscles in his back tensed as he leaned over, running hot water and letting it fill the tub. The steam danced around his head as he peeked over his shoulder, nodding towards my pants. 

The silence was thickening and my fingers gripped the top of my pants, slowly pulling them down my legs; the new visions of bruises and scars clouding Soldat’s vision. The only thing keeping me from bearing it all to him was a thin piece of fabric. Soldat turned on his knees, face inches from my core, and goosebumps rose to my skin as I felt his finger slide my underwear down over my knees and I stepped out of them. He tossed them to the side while keeping his eyes trained hard on me as he looked up into my own. 

“Get in.” Soldat’s flesh fingers tapped the back of my thigh, his warm breath brushing against my heated core. 

The water immediately eased the sore muscles and wounds as I submerged myself, pulling my knees to my chest. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Soldat stripping himself of his own clothes before I felt the water slosh behind me. Metal fingers wrapped around my middle pulling me into a hard chest. We sat in silence as he first cleaned me then him. 

“I should have been here,” his words mumbled against the skin of my shoulder as he pressed a soft kiss there. 

“You needed to go on your mission.” I reminded him. 

“I will kill him.” He vowed. 

I hushed him with a soft squeeze of his thigh, fingers resting easily over the mass of them. “I’ll be alright.” 

“You’re coming with me on the next mission.” 

I smiled at the softness in his voice. 

“I don’t think Berge will like that.” I admitted. 

Soldat took a damp cloth to my legs and stomach, cleaning the wounds with soft touches. 

“They can kill me to try and stop me.” Soldat deadpanned. 

I opened my mouth to protest but he silenced me with a kiss to my forehead, whispering promises of him saving me, protecting me, no matter what the cost will be. 

“I missed you, dorogaya.”Soldat breathed, his cock hardening against the small of my back. 

“I missed you too,” I moaned. 

His fingers grazed over my core underneath the water, rubbing circles over my clit. His lips attached to my neck, leaving his mark for all to see. 

“I need you.” 

The water splashed out of the tub as Soldat lifted me out and carried me bridal style into his bedroom. I fell to the bed with a soft sigh and my eyes took in the God-like form of Soldat, his dick twitching with anticipation. I took in every groove and line of his muscles, the way they tensed under the light as he stood in front of me. 

“Soldat,” I begged, “I can’t wait anymore.” 

“Say your mine.” He commanded. 

“I’m yours.” 

“Good girl,” Soldat praised while his metal fingers stroked his already hard cock. 

He slowly climbed up the bed, laying soft kisses over the skin of my legs and thighs on his way up. My body shook with the want of his body on mine, skin on skin underneath the moonlight from outside. 

That night, our bodies linked together in pure bliss and adoration for one another. Our moans that bounced off the walls were a proclamation of our growing love for each other. 

That night was the first and last time Soldat and I made love.

 Day 132-The last day. 

Eyes slowly blinked open as I patted the spot next to me, finding it empty and cold. My brows pulled together in confusion as I looked around the room trying to figure out where Soldat had gone. I groaned at the soreness between my legs as I sat up in bed, clutching the sheet tighter to my chest. The memories of last night clouded my vision and my cheeks reddened remembering all the ways Soldat’s fingers and mouth had pleasured me. 

The door had burst open causing me to jump at the sight of the man that had entered. 

“Where did you–?” 

“You have to go; leave.” Soldat rushed while handing me my clothes. 

“What?” Tears started to well up in my eyes. 

“You need to leave, now. It’s not safe for you anymore.” Soldat demanded. 

Rising from the bed, I let the sheet fall to the floor before quickly dressing. 

“What are you talking about?” 

Soldat ran a hand over his tired face before a loud sigh left his lips. “Berge has plans for you that I will not let happen. You need to leave here.” 

“Plans?” I croaked. “What plans?” 

“There’s a door on the other end of the compound that I always leave through to go on my missions. I left it unlocked last night. Once you’re outside, run west for 5 miles. There will be a gas station where you can call for a ride.” 

Soldat ignored my questioning pleads as he handed me a pair of his boots and a jacket to keep me warm once I was outside. 

“No, Soldat. I’m not leaving you.” 

“It’s not up for discussion. You’re leaving.” He demanded. 

“I won’t leave you. I love-.”

My confession was short lived as we heard voices yelling from down the hallway. Soldat cursed before pulling me into his chest. His plump lips brushed against my forehead while his hands wrapped around my back, giving a hard squeeze. My fingers gripped tight his vest, the fear of leaving him weighing heavy on my chest. 

“I can’t leave you, Soldat.” I confessed. 

“Wait ten minutes then take a left at the end of the hallway, the door to your escape will be the last one on the left.” 

Soldat pulled away from me, strong eyes staring into my sad ones. His pink lips stood out from underneath the stubble that had grown since the last time I had seen him. I unknowingly reached out for him as he took a step away from me. 

“Soldat,” I sobbed. “Please don’t make me leave.” 

“Stay safe, Dorogaya.”  

We shared one last loving glance before I watched him turn his back on me, walk down the hall and out of my life. 

Those ten minutes had passed by antagonizing slowly and now matter how much I wanted to stay here with Soldat, I knew that he was looking out for my safety. We both knew the kind of man Berge was and if whatever he had planned for me scared even Soldat, I knew I had to trust him. 

Regretfully, my feet took me down the way that Soldat had instructed me. They froze, however, when I noticed commotion coming from the room to my left; the one I had to pass in order for me to reach my freedom. 

“Get him in the chair!” 

“Sir, it’s been months since we’ve wiped him. We don’t know the risks!” 

“I don’t care about the risks! He needs to forget her!” 

Slowly peeking from around the corner, I watched in fear as four men struggled to get Soldat in a chair that sat in the middle of the room. No matter how much he had fought the men, Soldat gave up in the end, falling into the chair with a groan. 

When his broken eyes landed on me, his chest rose in fear and he motioned to the door, begging me to leave. 

“I’m sorry,” I mouthed. 

Not wanting to stick around and see what they were about to do to him, no matter how much I loved him, I ran down the hallway and out of the prison I had called home for the last 132 days. And away from the one and only man that would haunt my dreams every single night for the next three years.

[islandofsages]

Hey ! Can I ask for the Diasomnia boys reacting to a male!Ignihyde!reader who join the gargoyle club (idk if it's name) ?

Like, the reader is really just interest in the gargoyles, and isn't scare of Malleus (or anyone, really. Man is too tired for being scare.)

Ignore it if you don't want to write it.

Have a good day/night ! And happy new year too.

characters: diasomnia boys x male ignihyde reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, imagines + scenario format; mentions of malleus in literally everything, lilia being a dad

warnings: none

author's notes: reader is so idgaf energy i love it. also i just remembered the small font feature exists LMAO do tell me if it's too small, i'll change it back to the original size!! if not, i'll change my previous posts to the smaller font. also you have a good day/night too anon ! and happy new year :D

Malleus Draconia

Oh? You want to join the Gargoyle Studies Club? You’re being serious? Oh!

Words cannot describe how happy he is about a fellow gargoyle appreciator though his expression doesn’t really show that

And to think you see him as just another dude… such honor was bestowed upon him…!

He’ll excitedly bring you to every gargoyle he’s found on campus and infodump about them - and you’d write them down somewhere if you’re in the mood

Sometimes you’d find new gargoyles and bring him to them and you start to do likewise

Even outside of club activities you two geek out about gargoyles at times which has earned you two the title of nerds

“Have I told you about the time I’ve met talking gargoyles? I never thought I would see such a day…”

Gargoyles aside, he has times where he confides his personal daily life in you and in turn, he’ll ask you what’s it like being in Ignihyde, etc

After being around each other so much, it feels weird when you guys aren’t together - some people would ask where Malleus is whenever you’re on your own, and vice versa

People found it weird how close an Ignihyde student is to someone from a different dorm too and you’re not sure if you should be flattered or not

But in a sense, Malleus really is your other nerdy half.

Sebek Zigvolt

You?????? Join the club where Malleus is president and is the only member of?????????

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE WORTHY OF JOINING SUCH A CLUB?”

Well, for one, the fact that you’re unfazed by his constant yelling and therefore probably too tired to be fazed by anything, consequently making you the perfect companion to Malleus because you wouldn’t react inappropriately to Malleus’ conduct

And that you actually are interested in gargoyles. That too. You tell all this to him

He clutches his head with one hand, debating your logic. You don’t know how and why but he accepts your argument

That doesn’t stop him from monitoring you two’s activities from afar but, again, you couldn’t care less. A sixteen year old’s fanatics is just part of the growing process

Outside of club activities, he interrogates you on what you’ve discussed with Malleus and you just tell him the truth: gargoyles

At some point, he gets so engrossed in your infodump about gargoyles his eyes shine with a new light

Of course, he mentions something about Malleus obviously liking something so interesting and befitting of his status - but he also thanks you for enlightening him on the topic and that he’ll go to you for more information if need be

You’ve converted him. You sometimes see him clutching a book about gargoyles around the school. It’s filled with notes sticking out of the pages. And a portion of that sometimes he’ll run to you to confirm about a fact or two

Maybe it’s safe to say you two are kind of friends now.

Silver

He doesn’t think too much of it other than being glad that Malleus finally has a fellow gargoyle fan he can geek out with

He’d see you and Malleus chatting it up around campus and he can’t stop the tender smile on his face from making an appearance

Sometimes he himself will try to strike up a conversation with you and gargoyle geek aside, he finds that you’re just a pleasant person to talk to and be around

He admits he’s not too close with any of the folks from Ignihyde aside for the Shroud brothers but you brush him off by saying that nobody is really

He also admires how you don’t really let anything get to you. Again, you shrug it off by half-joking that you’re too tired to be scared by anything at this point

He somewhat empathizes with you on that point, grieving over his narcoleptic tendencies with a heavy sigh

You try your best to cheer him up or if you have experience with such things, you give him advice on how to manage it

You then jest that he can tag along with you and Malleus’ club activities whenever he’s free if he wants. The more, the merrier, right?

He ponders it for a minute and nods. You didn’t think he’d actually accept the offer

“I don’t see a reason to refuse. Sebek and I have accompanied Malleus on his trips before. I’m sure this time around will be more fun with you here.”

And so you all do. You all have a royal time together - and the joy on Silver’s face is especially princely.

Lilia Vanrouge

He sheds (crocodile) tears at the thought of Malleus finally having an additional member in his one-man club more friends

Since you’re chill about it, he is too! As long as you get along with Malleus, everything will be fine and dandy

If anything, he’s a bit impressed by how it takes more than the average amount to gain a reaction out of you 

…and a bit concerned. Are you sure you’re getting enough nutrients? His paternal instincts kick in when you tell him you’re too tired to have a reaction to anything

He knows that Ignihyde students are mostly shut-ins but he still advises you and makes sure you get a balanced diet

It’s like he’s adopted yet another son

“Oh, (Y/N), you really ought to take care of yourself more.”

You grow a bit annoyed at him sometimes but you know his intentions are good so you don’t protest

You do feel very loved though. You didn’t expect this much from just joining a club for a topic you’re genuinely interested in

But you have to admit it is kind of hard to come by people who aren’t intimidated by the Malleus Draconia, even if you don’t see it as anything special

What’s special, though, is the affection Lilia holds for you.

[sludge-saturday]

catching feelings ☆ pencil and charcoal

you've been riding with the van der linde gang for a few months now, pulling your weight and helping out when you can. you've earned the trust of nearly everyone there with your hard work and are starting to capture the interest of a certain someone...

pairing: arthur morgan x gn!artist!reader

summary: you show arthur your artwork by the fire. how will he react when he sees himself amongst your drawings?

tags: fluff, arthur has low self-esteem, high honor arthur

warnings: very brief mention of alcohol consumption

word count: 1,141

a/n: first entry in the "catching feelings" series! i can't tell if my writing style is too corny or not so feedback is encouraged. :)

☆ the trotting of your horses' hooves served as gentle ambience as you and arthur watched the van der linde camp come into view. an involuntary feeling of relief washed over you, knowing that you were safe here. the two of you were just arriving from a particularly difficult bounty hunt, but your combined skills proved to be efficient. "a job well done," as arthur had told you.

☆ you both approach the camp and hop off of your horses, hitching them to an available post. arthur gives boadicea a gentle, appreciative pat on the neck. "i'm gonna go tell dutch how much we made." he says, walking toward where the gang leader is standing. dutch is next to one of the posts holding up his tent and a fire had been made not too far away by some of the other gang members. karen, tilly, charles, javier, and lenny all sat around the flame, a couple with bottles in their hands.

☆ you wanted to stop at your tent for your sketchbook before heading over to sit with them. now would be a perfect time to keep practicing, you thought to yourself. after making the short trip to where your belongings were, you swiped the leather-bound book and the rest of your supplies off of your cot. as you walk towards the fire you glance at everyone sitting around it. no one had left yet, but another person had joined: arthur.

☆ scanning for a place to sit, you decide on an open spot next to the gunslinger. you had to admit, you've grown fond of arthur's presence since you first started traveling with the gang. it was something about his get-it-done attitude, his undying loyalty to those he cares about, and, of course, his rugged handsomeness. you kept your affection for him a secret, though, afraid of what might happen if anyone ever found out. you drew one of your knees up to your chest, propping your sketchbook up on your thigh in an attempt to dispel the thought.

☆ arthur's gaze couldn't help but wander to what you were doing beside him. as you opened your sketchbook, flipping through the pages to find where you last left off, arthur's eyes were able to steal a few glances at what was inside. from what he able to see, there were sketched pictures of people he could have sworn he recognized. was that... dutch? and sean? and mary beth? arthur gestured to the book in your hands and spoke in a hushed tone, as if afraid someone else would hear what he had to say. "you draw too?"

☆ you looked up at arthur with a smile already on your face. "it's been one of my passions since i was a child. i practically clung to my pencils when i fell on hard times." your eyes sparkled as you spoke to him, and you could have sworn you saw the same kind of shimmer in his eyes as he listened. "can i..." he started, "can i see 'em?" arthur had never met anyone else that shared his love of drawing and thought he never would, he had made peace with that. but this new discovery, this moment he was now sharing with you, it made him feel more alive and more connected to someone than he felt in a while.

☆ a flush threatened to creep onto your cheeks as you process arthur's request. you can't remember the last time someone asked to actually see what you were making. anxiety bubbled in your stomach as your mind raced through everything that could happen if you agreed. but, when you looked at arthur, his features were graced with a subtle glow, an expression of wonder and pure curiosity. how could you refuse?

☆ "of course." you gave him a sweet smile. "should i start from the beginning?" your hand prepares to move all of the pages on the left back to the right, but you look at arthur for approval anyway. "sure." he answered, nodding his head.

☆ and so you do. you show him everything, from your finished portraits of the gang members to sketches of your horse to quick scribbles of plants and animals you spot on your adventures. and arthur found it all so breathtaking. your art style, the way you chose to characterize your figures, your ability to make photo-realistic images from just pencil and charcoal, he never knew you had this in you.

☆ he watched as you flipped through the pages, admiring your work and pointing out ones he particularly liked. the person drawn on the last page had a dark cowboy hat on with rope tied around the base. he had a dark kerchief draped around his neck and a stubbly face. "recognize him?" you smooth your hand over the paper, remembering the unforgettable process that was drawing arthur for the first time. "this is one of my favorites." smiling at the page, you turn to look at his reaction.

☆ arthur was utterly dumbfounded. he couldn't believe what he was looking at. someone, especially someone like you, had deemed him worthy enough of being a muse for artwork. he thought he was so... ugly. he thought everyone found him that way. at a loss for words, the man felt tears prick his eyes. he didn't know why he was getting so emotional! he couldn't cry in front of anyone, so he cleared his throat and searched for what to say. "is that me?"

☆ you noticed that arthur's eyes looked glossier and that his expression shifted. you couldn't gauge how he was feeling from the look on his face, so you looked back down at the drawing. "it is," you said, fiddling with the corner of the book. "you are a joy to create." your smile was genuine, the apple of your cheeks shining in the firelight as you turned your head to face arthur again. his expression was still unreadable, his gaze tilted down towards his lap. after a few seconds of silence, arthur speaks softly. "ya really mean that?"

☆ arthur's eyes were still glassy, but softer this time around. he looked like the answer to his question would make or break him. he looked... vulnerable. even you knew that this was not a disposition you would typically, if ever, expect of him. you were careful with your response, knowing that you held the very livelihood of arthur morgan in your hands. "i do."

☆ those two simple words sent a small swarm of butterflies through his gut. for him, nothing would be able to compare to the way you just made him feel. for him, this moment would be occupying his mind for longer than he cared to admit. for him, this gesture was just another piece of the stunning mosaic created in your image. after this, there's no more room for doubt. he's smitten.

[thedemonsurfer]

TSAMS Theory: Solar Flare wasn't real

So, here's the thing. Solar Flare's final exchange with Eclipse, when they're waiting to die, has this very painful and bittersweet part in it.

Solar Flare: You are not a good man. You are not a good person in any regard. But-- you did care. Even if you could never show it. You are just like him. Eclipse: Who? Solar Flare: The first Moon.

Oof oof ouch my heart. The art folks did with Eclipse having Moon's hat here was *chef's kiss*

But, wait. Hold on.

How the fuck would Solar Flare know anything about Old Moon?!

Consider the timeline. Eclipse builds Solar Flare, steals his body. Approximately 5min later Sun shows up to kill him. Eclipse gets away, tricks Sun into destroying Moon's magic circle. With no magic to find a solution to the looming threat of being trapped inside his own head, Moon makes the decision to reset himself to split off KC, and his memories are wiped in the process.

Solar Flare met Moon a grand total of once, for about five minutes, to sabatogue Eclipse (Eclipse's NEW BODY?!). He otherwise didn't talk to anyone at all. I actually don't think he ever met Kill Code, even, which opens a whole other can of worms like "Was Kill Code even aware Solar Flare existed? Did he forget he told Eclipse to make them?"

So here's my theory: The Solar Flare that Eclipse meets when he goes into the mindscape, the one that's keeping him locked in a dying frame and reads him completely to filth with terrifying accuracy? That's not Solar Flare. Solar Flare is gone, deleted.

The person that Eclipse interacts with is himself. His own subconscious, which knows every little insecurity and doubt he tries to repress. Who knows his past, the things that fuel him, the things he's ignored or discarded.

It's not a completely baseless guess. Sun suffers from stress-related hallucinations, mostly from his guilt regarding Bloodmoon, but about others as well. And later on, with the rebuilt Eclipse, he straight hallucinates himself to talk to shortly before Lunar blows him tae fuck. The rebuilt Eclipse is post-star, but he's not too far removed from the person who was dying in a bunker orbiting the sun.

And... isn't that tragic to consider? 'Solar Flare' prevents Eclipse from uploading himself into a new body. He prevents him from escaping this hell he's put himself through. And if that 'Solar Flare' is really Eclipse...

...then he's holding himself back. He knows, on a not very deep level, that he's done. He won but it's a hollow victory, because the person who's attention he craved, his self-proclaimed rival, is gone. The person who's replaced him isn't interested in starting a new rivalry. Eclipse literally doesn't know what to do with himself-- he has no goals, no other ambitions. Full Megamind 'I didn't really think I'd get this far" going on here.

And the star is killing him. He knows it's killing him, and he makes an effort to prevent that... but what good will it do to keep living? The star was only ever a means to an end, a motivating McGuffin to keep Moon's attention. Eclipse wasn't meant to win, and he knows it.

'Solar Flare' is just a mask, a plausible external individual to voice the thoughts that Eclipse is trying to ignore, and a fabricated companion because Eclipse has never been completely alone like this.

Really is a bit pathetic, isn't it?

[pomefioredove]

rook and romance is a fascinating duality to me, and with every new tidbit of information we get on him the more tempted I am to hc him aromantic because. I get it.

on one hand we have rook the poet, connoisseur of the beautiful, constantly singing praises to every pretty thing he sees (and he can find beauty in anything, really).

...and then on the other hand we have rook the hunter, the watcher, the analyst, who finds more contentment in studying people than being intimate with them, who keeps himself at a safe distance, even from his objects of admiration. he's very guarded, very private to the point of being unreadable, of making even his closest friends feel unsettled.

there's a line on his jp suitor suit card (God help me if I could find the post again...) where he says he's not particularly interested in romantically committing himself to anyone just yet. tsk tsk...

there's just... so much about him that's misread as romantic when it blatantly is not. rook is obsessive. he chases his interests because he wants to understand them from every angle, it's his whole thing with being a hunter. he keeps himself at a distance, at an advantage. to me, that's not quite love. it's... study. I get it because I do the same thing, in a way.

(not that he's heartless, of course. rook clearly values his friendships a lot. he's a highly emotional and caring and good person, and he follows his heart).

his passions are intense enough to be mischaracterized as romance, whereas I think rook falling in love with someone (really falling in love with someone) would be such a quiet and soft and slow process. it would be a soulmate situation, with someone he sees as tangible, someone real and present, who he doesn't have to put on a shelf in order to keep himself at a distance. someone who he can be comfortable and a little more open with. someone he can touch, you know? someone who grounds him a little more. the obsession is there but it's distinctly different.

cannot get it out of my head. maybe it's just the character analysis aro in me but there's something there

[howling-medic]

The next generation of chaos

A/N: Here are a few headcanons about the sons of two of my favorite chaotic menaces. This quite literally kept me up. I went to bed thinking about these fools, and I woke up still thinking about them - an hour before my alarm. Yes, I am salty about that bit of it. As such, it's not edited the best, and it's far from my best writing. However, it is up because I want it out of my WIPs folder, and I need to cry with other people about how much I love these characters.

Credit to @emilybeemartin. Their artwork inspired these deranged ramblings. Please check out the original post. I am not kidding when I say that the first time I pondered this I was scrolling, stumbled on her artwork, my jaw dropped, and I ran to my laptop to jam out a few notes. I am still in awe of this art. Go give her all the love.

With all that said, here are some headcanons about Faramir Took and Elboron. Guest appearances of their fathers along with Aragorn and Eldarion:

Faramir Took would love to learn like his father and namesake alike. We know Pippin later assembled the Tale of Years, and Faramir aided in continuing the tradition as he grew up and took over as Thain. As was noted in the original post, Faramir would also be the spiciest lionhearted hobbit - just like his father. There would be no foe too big for him. He would train with the Rangers of Ithilien and the Knights of Gondor to hone his swordsmanship at every opportunity. Pippin would train with him back in The Shire. Watching his son learn to fight would remind Pippin of learning from Boromir in Eriador. One night after training, Pippin would sit Faramir down and tell him all about his namesake’s brother and how Boromir saved his life. Faramir would have heard this story many times before, but he would listen to it all again in rapt attention.

Elbooron grows up to be slightly more reserved than Faramir (the younger), but he gained a bit more mischief than his father - for which Pippin is absolutely responsible. He never causes any lasting damage or harms anyone, unlike Faramir the younger who may or may not have accidentally blown up a shed with a firework, but he plays small pranks when he gets the chance. Well, no lasting damage unless you count the premature gray hairs he puts on Faramir’s head. Faramir (the younger) loves to join in on the fun whenever he is around, and he makes everything ten times worse, in the best way. Nothing is safe in the kitchen, no fireworks can be left unsupervised. The problem is Faramir Took knows far too much about how to be sneaky to be caught by a few guards. After all, he had to learn to best his dad, who stole the palantir from Gandalf. Pippin takes great pride in how sneaky his son is, and Diamond has to remind him to be serious when son is in trouble for his latest mischief.

As the two boys grow, Elboron eagerly shares all his latest findings and pieces of knowledge with his dear friend from the time they are children - whether in person or in letters. When he is very young, he will beg Éowyn or Faramir - whoever happens to be closest - to write letters for him about the new flower he found or the new game he played. He works twice as hard to learn to his letters to be able to write Faramir on his own, so he never has to wait for his parents again.

Faramir looks forward to these exchanges more than almost anything even when it’s the most mundane of facts or theories that hold little interest for him. Elboron’s excitement is infectious. (I am simply ignoring the fact that it would take at minimum 3ish months to travel from The Shire to Ithilien, which would make it a six month process to get a response to a letter; time and distance mean nothing)

As adults, both Elboron and Faramir would be treasured advisors to the other - Elboron leaning on Faramir when unsure if a situation calls for military action and needing reassurance that it is the correct decision as well as leaning on his friend to be his more impulsive and hot headed half in general, and Faramir leaning upon Elboron to temper his more fiery nature.

The two fathers love nothing more than watching their boys play together and learn from each other when they're young.. They sit together and reminisce on their younger and wilder days. Some days one of them will get a far off look in their eyes and wonder aloud what Boromir’s children would be like. The other would sigh and say “would that he could share in these moments with us.” “He lives in us, and then in them, my friend,” the other would answer. For a long while they would both fall silent and gaze out towards the Falls of Rauros and Amon Hen. [expanded below]

Aragorn and Eldarion make a point to watch over all the children of Faramir and Pippin as they age, promising them both to keep them out of trouble and keep them safe when their fathers pass, serving as a godfather and older brother respectively. The assurances bring a degree of peace that neither knows they need, but what surprises them most is that the promise to look after their friend’s son is almost more reassuring than the promise to look after their own. Both know their own son will manage, but they fear for their friend’s son losing them, for they know they have become a confidant and comfort to them over the years.

The task is a challenge, but they mostly succeed. Faramir takes to calling Aragorn 'Strider’ even when not appropriate, just as Pippin did. Thankfully for all, where Pippin became more of a menace as he aged, just was smarter about it, Faramir seemed to learn at least a little bit from his namesake about mellowing...and got smarter about his mischief like his father did. He never did stop calling Aragorn 'Strider.' Elboron, while as quiet natured and scholarly as his father, also inherited his father's keen perception and ability to read people. With it, he inherited Faramir’s propensity for mischief and teasing (we saw Faramir in Ithilien with Frodo and Sam, he likes to mess with people; the man is a bit of a menace) that would only exponentiated by his close relationship with Pippin and Faramir. Rarely does it get Elboron in trouble, but every once in a while it lands him in a tight spot when he's a little too on the nose with his teasing or calls out the wrong noble for ill intent with no concrete proof other than vibes. Eventually, he does master both causing mischief and being politically savvy with the help of his gift. It gives Aragorn a few gray hairs, Faramir the younger loves it, Eldarion loves watching his father fall victim to a new generation of chaos and remembers fondly his days spent with Pippin and Faramir the older.

I am impossible and simply cannot let a good chance for some angst and feels to go, so here. Let me annihilate your emotions as I did my own! (aka I made myself sad, so now you all have to be sad with me)

What can never be

Faramir and Pippin sat on a bench along the edge of the Garden of the Fountain. So rare were the days they could spend like this, especially in the White City. There were times, however, they both reported back to Minas Tirith. Over the years, those trips had become precious gifts, and occasions for their families to visit, as much as they were political events. 

The sun had begun to set on this day, and on this visit. Elboron and Faramir played in the grass, some game involving chasing each other and periodically freezing, of which only children could fully comprehend the intricacies. At one break in the action their fathers had asked and became rapidly baffled, but they were giggling with such glee that it warmed both Pippin’s and Faramir’s hearts too much to fret the details. 

While the sun continues its descent, they reminisced on the old days, their younger and wilder days. They keep their voices hushed for fear of encouraging their children to engage in exactly the same mischief they themselves did. Pippin snickered. “Did I ever tell you of the time that Merry and I stole one of Gandalf’s fireworks? Surely I have.”

“Many times, Pippin,” Faramir assured him, “But tell me again. I was just thinking of how much I miss Mithrandir and his wisdom.��� 

“Well, I cannot say this was one of his wisest moments. It certainly was not Merry’s or mine, but…” and with that he plunged into the familiar tale. Faramir grinned. He wondered how many times Boromir heard exactly this story. Well, not exactly. Pippin never told the same tale more than once. They always shifted and grew in their retellings based on what effect the hobbit wanted to have. This one felt as though it might be close to the truth. It was a quiet retelling, private, meant to hold onto the memory of a dearly missed friend at a time when things were simplest for the Pippin. 

Faramir wasn’t sure when Pippin fell silent, or when his own gaze had gone distant, but he blinked twice and came back to himself. He found Pippin looking much the same as he was sure he had moments before. Neither of their eyes were trained on their sons, who played on utterly unaware of their fathers’ distraction. Instead, both of them stared out at a spot that was far from visible, but they could both see it with perfect clarity. When Pippin spoke it was barely audible and his focus never came back to the moment. “What would his kids be like, do you think?” 

Faramir had no need for Pippin to say of whom he spoke. It was not the first time, nor would it be the last, they had this conversation. Faramir sighed, a deep and pained sigh. “We will never know with any certainty, my friend, but he lives on in us, and then in them.”

Silence hung between them until Pippin uttered what they both were thinking. “Would that he could share in these moments with us.” 

They fell silent once again. It was an easy silence. One of shared pain, which gave comfort to them both. The sun had nearly fallen past the horizon, and both sons sat in their own quiet conversation. Their fathers gazed out towards the Falls of Rauros, Amon Hen, and beyond to Parth Galen lost in memories and wondering about what could never be.

////////////Tagging @ @elevensiesexpert at their request///////////////

[wip]

Hi there! I am a long time user (over a DECADE on my original blog), but this is a brand new blog I just made, on the web, after seeing a post about the creation process for new blogs and wanting to test it myself. I like the suggestion that people follow some tags to start, to help put some good stuff on their For You page! However, you'll also notice that this blank blog with a generic name and default appearance looks an awful lot like a bot. And there is also an influx of spam bots right now as well - @changes always tells us to report those when there's a new wave of them, and we usually block them too. I think I've managed to discern the difference after looking at the suggested names vs some actual bots, but most people can't. Suggesting random names for new users (which is fine on its own), sending them to an unskippable page where they have to follow *people* (not just tags) before they've had a chance to explore the site, and not ever pointing them in the direction of their personalization settings (which are buried in the new layout) is going to end up with a lot of new users getting blocked and reported as spam! Perhaps after the tag following page, you could redirect people to the Blog Settings page, where you can have informative pop-ups suggesting people add a profile picture and header that reflects their personality/interests, and point out the description section to "Tell people about yourself!" You could make the page skippable if you think it would discourage people who just want to jump right in, but it would be really useful. I see on the app that a section like that comes up when you go to your own blog, but I think it should be a step in the sign-up process, before you follow anyone. Skippable, but encouraged. (Also, the requirement to follow individual blogs REALLY needs to be skippable) Encouraging new users to have a profile picture, header, and personalized bio would really help in preventing real users from getting blocked by all the cool blogs they're trying to follow who think that they're spam bots! Getting blocked for no reason won't encourage new tumblrs to stick around! Please, encourage some individuality from our new internet neighbors, so they can become our internet friends 💙

Answer: Hey, @lefttragedysandwich!

Thanks for getting in touch with this. We are very aware of this situation, and we are trying to find the best way to solve it—without just adding more steps to onboarding, which (unfortunately) most people won’t do.

This, in turn, just adds friction to signing up for Tumblr, which means fewer people sign up to join us. Which means fewer internet neighbors, let alone less individuality. 

But this is an important question to answer, and we are grateful you raised it with us. As and when we have a good solution, we’ll announce it on @changes. Keep your eyes peeled, and hopefully, it won't be too long.

Best,

—The Tumblr WIP Team. 

[mrz-starz]

𐙚𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙇𝙊𝙂𝙐𝙀

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀs ᴀʀʀɪᴠᴇᴅ! ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ! 𓌉◯𓇋

A/N: greetings ladies and gentlemen to the prologue! I have to warn you all right now, that I'll usually write ten solid chapters before posting again. Only the Prologue will be up for a while, so don't expect any lightning fast updates.  Do enjoy, and feel free to comment! <3

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The soft heat from the oven casted a glow on your chubby face. The igniters burning to heat you probably can’t even imagine just makes it all the more interesting. The slow but unique process of the batter filled wrappers rising was a new experience for you. Have you eaten a cupcake before? Yes.

Seen it bake? No.

You let out childish squeals as you saw the cupcake improve from its pitiful goop-like state. Slowly rising into a proud confection that can be served in your aunt’s bakery. Though watching the cake rise was entertaining, you had to admit that the frosting was the best part. Ever.

You mean, come on, how could anyone not like the soft repetitive dollops of that sweet sugary substance? Whether it's buttercream, swiss meringue, or american, it's still the best part. And people have yet to prove to you otherwise. All the older people in the bakery who just slice of the frosting part from their cupcakes and dump it on their kid’s plate can eat sh-

“[NAME]!!”

A loud, familiar voice pierced through the silence of your jumbled up thoughts. Your cheeks split open with an oscar-winning grin as you prepared to take flight down the stairs. Your legs stumbled a little before you caught yourself and sped down the steps. When You saw the ginger haired woman your grin got impossibly wider.

“Auntie!” you giggled. Your cheeks rosy as you ran closer to the tall woman. Your ‘Auntie’ picked you up with ease and twirled you around. Your little ruffled dress spread out in the most beautiful of ways, highlighting your stubby legs.

She sets you down along with her newly bought groceries on the countertop. Your legs kicked in a little rhythm as she set to putting away the things she didn't need. After finishing the mundane task, she turned toward with those big and sharp brown eyes.

“NOW,” she started off dramatically. “WHOOO’s~ gonna be my little HELPER?!”

“ME!”

“I can’t hear you~”

“MEE!”

Your Auntie chuckled heartily at the gesture and tickled your sides. One thing about you was that you were very, very ticklish.

She smiled at you sprawled out. Laying on the countertop, giggling away. She clapped her hands four times in a rhythmic beat. It was the tell-tale sign for you to pay attention to her. You forcefully subsided your laughter as you turned to the woman with full focus.

Your Auntie is still surprised at how well this system worked. From the tales she heard from her friends, it took forever to find a way to get a kid to listen to you. Yet, your parents had only been working overseas for a few weeks and this method seemed to be working just fine. She supposes she just got lucky.

“Now then my little helper, today we’ll be making-” Your aunt got cut off by a friendly and warm voice.

“MESI! Are you here today?! I’ve brought a little someone I wantcha to meet!”

Your aunt gasped before smiling like a kid on christmas day. She sprinted to the front of the shop in record time and leaned over the counter with her elbow supporting her chin. Once her eyes had confirmed it was, in fact, who she thought it was, the attentiveness in her eye completely disappeared as she held out her hands.

‘Boss-Man!” Auntie exclaimed.

The seemingly old man laughed heartily as he accepted Auntie’s invitation for a hug. The two stay like that for a few seconds before finally pulling away. Auntie starts giggling as she leans back into her elbow-propped positioning.

“So! Here's the little mister!” Auntie had said it in such a sickeningly sweet baby-voice that you were sure she had said it to tease the poor fella. Or whomever they were talking about.

Due to your short stature, you had to prop yourself up on your tippy toes in order to reach the counter. Even then, only your eyes made it past the high counter. Your eyes looked through the glass display and cake holders. Through the sour strawberries and honeyed cookies you lock your eyes on a young boy.

He easily towered over you, his shoulder passing the counter with ease. He had dark choppy hair that fully showed off his forehead. His eyes were a honeyed brown-goldish color that highlighted the most majestic lower lashes you’ve ever seen. 

“So, this is who you’ve been busy with. Here I was thinkin’ you had finally gotten your game back on.” your heard your Auntie’s voice through your daze, still gazing at those wonderful eyes. It seems you had even forgotten how some of your toes were getting sore from standing for so long. 

The old man chuckles deeply before responding to Auntie’s teasing. “Me? In my old age? I could never.”

“But cha’ still got enough years in you to take in a child? Excuses, excuses…” Auntie playfully shook her head. Her dotted freckles highlighted in the warm glow from outside.

“Oh please, I’ve actually had Chisaki for a whale now. He just didn't want to go outside…” he ended that sentence rubbing the back of his head, looking like he just went through the flashbacks of war.

“But!” the old man popped right back up, trying to stay optimistic. “ This stubborn boy finally agreed to come here with me.” the old man smiled pridefully while the young boy rolled his eyes. Mid-eye roll, his eyes landed on your curious ones. 

After seeing a random pair of eyes looking at him from beneath the glass, he rightfully jumped, a bit startled from the sudden appearance. His fright shocked you out of your gaze as you wobbled over on your toes and fell on your butt.

“OWEiee!” you howl. The old man leans over the counter to get a better look, and is shocked to see a child there. He looks back at the kid, the boy clinging even tighter to his haori.

The man chuckled a bit, putting the back of his hand up to his mouth in a poor attempt to hide his amusement.

“Such a hypocrite Mesi, here you are, springing a random child on this old man. You know these knees can't handle too many surprises.” The man saw a chance to make fun of Auntie and absolutely grasped it.

Auntie whipped around, cheeks dusted red. “Oh clam it Old Man, she’s not even mine.” Auntie explained to the old man, to which he nodded. Not wanting to delve in any deeper in case it might be personal.

You sat up on the floor to which your Auntie made a small hand motion for you to stand up. You did as she said and stood at her side. Auntie grinned widely as she introduced you to the old man.

“Boss-Man, Meet our one and only, [Name][Last Name]!” your Auntie dramatically introduced.

You saw her dramatic introduction and decided to follow up. You couldn't disappoint your Autie, now could you?

“HELLO! I’m [Name][Last Name], Absolute pleasure to meet you! You held your hand to your chest as the other stood sturdy on your hip. You had a determined glow in your eyes.

The old man chucked at the drama before clearing his throat.

“Both of you, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Chisaki Kai. Say hi Kai.” The man said the last part a bit more quietly, but the kid heard it loud and clear. Anyone could tell from his hunched back to his disinterested eyes, that he didn't wanna do this. At all.

“My name is Chisaki kai. Hello.” he said it with the most monotone voice known to man. You sweatdropped at the action but the old man just seemed happy he even listened.

“Though…one more thing,” Everyone stared at the boy in shock, even the old guy. He glanced up with a seriousness in his eye that stated he was about to drop the biggest bomb of all mankind.

“I…really do hope you wear gloves when you make your food. And properly clean the ingredients. I can't have my food contaminated.” 

…

Huh?

Auntie busted out laughing as the old man proceeded to scold the young boy for his brashness. You definitely weren’t expecting a clean freak, but hey, you can work with it.

“I do apologize, he’s only nine. Though he usually acts more mature for his age…” he muttered that last part but it just made your Auntie laugh even more. Though the boy looked impatient for an answer.

You got back up on your sore tippy toes to lock eyes with the boy again. He noticed you and looked at you with an eyebrow raised.

“Don’t worry Ka-ahem..Chisaki-san! We wash each product by han-err-glove! And we make sure to consistently change gloves while making out desserts! We guarantee you that your food is suppppperrrr clean!” you stretched your arms wide to really get your point across. “We’ll even offer you gloves if you’d like!”

This made you Auntie fall down to the floor, her lighter even louder. But Chisaki looked at you for a while before nodding in approval. “Very well, if even a child knows how clean this place is then I guess it’ll be alright to eat here. You were right, Pops, this place is quite nice.”

‘Pops’ sighed in exasperation before smiling at the antics all around him.

—⊹𓈒 ε❤︎︭з𓈒⊹

For the next few weeks, Chisaki came in to pick up goodies for his Pops. You met him every time at the counter, already with his order. To be honest, from the outside it just looked like he was babysitting. You mean, the age difference is there. He was nine while you were four. 

However, on the off chance that he ordered something for himself and actually sat down to eat it, he would listen to you ramble. Well, listen, is a strong word. More like tune you out. But it was still nice.

Even though he didn’t really care about what you talked about, there was one thing he absolutely wouldn’t settle for. You going on and on about heroes.

Though what are you supposed to do? After finding out that you too can be a hero? You just couldn’t stop. So obviously you wanted to talk about your dreams to a familiar person.

However, that desire died as quickly as it was born. While Chisaki was quietly munching on some vanilla cake in a window seat, you used your arms to lift your small body on the table. Though only your head was visible, your excitement was palpable. 

You rambled about the process of making the very cake he was eating, how your mom and dad sent you a letter from America, how you and Auntie watched a cool movie together last night. And finally, you started to talk about heroes and quirks.

You expressed sadness that your quirk had not yet developed and how you wish your quirk could be as strong as All-Might’s. You didn’t pick up the twitch in his eye as you continued. You talked about how your dad actually was helping heroes over in America, and that's why you're staying with your aunt. You were about to share your dream of becoming one when-

“[Name].”

He had said so calmly that you looked up at his face without a second thought. What you saw made you immediately regret it. 

His eyes stared harshly at you, his glare burning deep into your soul. Suddenly, the sun wasn’t so bright and the air wasn’t as sweet. Your breath hitched as you struggled to find it. To respond to the terrifying boy.

“I-I’ll..talk about something else…” As you quietly uttered those words, his gaze fell right back on his cake slice as he continued to feast. You took that as approval to talk.

“I…I’m Starting pre-school soon!” you give him a wobbly smile as you try to keep the mood up. He makes a little ‘mmm’ noise from his mouth. You don’t know if that's just him savoring the cake flavor or him showing you that he’s listening. But you didn't care, You just tried to keep your mind off of the previous interaction.

—⊹𓈒 ε❤︎︭з𓈒⊹

Funnily enough, you got your quirk while Chiaki was there. It was golden hour and you had a craving. A craving for what exactly? 

Donuts.

You started at the box with an intense gaze, a fire burning behind your eyes. It was the week before pre-school started, don't you deserve a little treat? Who cares if it's a customer order? 

By all means you could take it if you wanted to. Just lift the box open and snab one up. Chisaki surely wasn’t stopping you. He gazed at your tiny form staring at the box with a fiery gaze. He still couldn’t understand why the hell you like donuts so much.

Like, seriously? Out of all the desserts your Auntie makes for you, you choose the one thing she serves every blue moon. Donuts.

He rolls his eyes and lets out a soft sigh. Meanwhile you were still trying to solve your problem. If you could just take one up and disappear into your room, why didn't you do it yet? The answer lies in your Auntie.

Your Auntie isn’t blood related to you, so her quirk is a lot more different from your mom’s. Her quirk is Enhanced senses. All her five senses have increased, surpassing the average human. Her strongest sense is taste, hence why she’s a baker. But right behind that is her hearing.

Seriously, you could never sneak around her! You’ve tried scaring her multiple times by now, but she always catches you in the act and proceeds to tickle you near-death. Plus, she is only three rooms away, she’ll be able to hear your shuffling no problem!

You wished you could just seamlessly phase through the box. Kinda like what your father does. You don’t know how but he just phases through walls. In fact, when you still lived with them, he just phased straight through the front door, with no need for a house key. Your mother wasn’t as lucky. She always fumbled with the keys and in the end, your dad had to help her out.

You puffed up your cheeks while holding your breath. You squeezed your eyes shut, deciding to just bite the bullet.

Your hand patted around the box until you firmly grasped a donut. When your wrist felt a bit stuffy so you opened your eyes to see the problem. That's when you realise…

…that your hand just went straight through the box. You stayed in shocked silence as your hand was blurry and transparent. You pulled the donut you had in your grasp out the box, watching in fascination as the donut appeared blurry as well, matching your hand color. 

Your cheeks felt warm as a grin spread across your face. Your hand, as well as the donut, returned back to its usual state. You took a bite out of the donut before squealing-

‘‘I GOT MY QURIKKKKKKK!” you yelled while jumping up and down. Chiaski’s eyes snapped up from his now finished creme brulee. You heard your Aunties heavy footsteps approach the counter. 

You stared at you for a bit before squealing right alongside you. She picks you up and effortlessly twirls you around. She smashes her cheek with yours before sitting you down on the counter next to the pristine donut box.

“So-What is it? Invisibility? Super strength? Laser eyes~?” your Auntie asked you impatiently. You grinned widely as you shared your discovery.

“I think I got daddy’s quirk!” you stretched out your arms to express your happiness.Your auntie clapped her hands excitedly at the new information. “Sweet! Gosh i gotta call em now; say! Before kindergarten starts, let's getcha a doctor’s appointment so you can get your quirk diagnosed! One step closer to becoming a hero!” You squealed excitedly at your auntie’s proposal.

You were so lost in your thoughts of happiness that you didn’t see those golden eyes staring with disdain. With a disgust even stronger than the disgust he had when you were talking about heroes.

—⊹𓈒 ε❤︎︭з𓈒⊹

The soft beeps of the doctor’s office rang out. You were sitting idly on the check up bed while your Auntie was on facetime with your parents. She was excitedly rambling about how cute it is that she got her father’s quirk. Though your parents were as equally as excited.

The doctor walked back with stacks of paper in his hands. Your Auntie perked up at the doctor’s appearance. Your parents stayed quiet in anticipation. You were just moving your legs along rhythmically. 

“Well, it seemed that she didn’t inherit her father’s quirk.” the Doctor stated Calmly. This made your Auntie sober up from her excitement and stare at the doctor in confusion.

“It's actually more complicated than that. You see, she inherited a more complex version of her mother’s quirk.” Now that was a surprise.

“Based on her documents, her mother has the ability to turn the properties of inanimate objects into something else as long as she is touching it. For example, if you had a glass flower vase, you could turn it into stone, correct?” Your mother nodded through the screen as the doctor continued.

“ It seems your daughter can change the properties of both herself and objects that she touches. More specifically, she can rearrange her atoms. The incident you told me about, with her hand being able to ‘phase’ through the donut box? It was actually her changing her mussel and tissue into gas in order to be able to seep into the tiny crevices of the box. She subconsciously changed the donut into gas too, so it would be able to come out the box along with her. Quite clever, I must add.” Your relatives stared at you in awe. Meanwhile, you had started to rock your torso to the imaginary beat your feet swung to.

“Now then Miss.[Last name],” the doctor turned to you. “What would you like to call this revolutionary quirk?”

You smiled, happier than ever before.

“DONUT!” you exclaimed.

The doctor looked at you perplexed while your Auntie doubled over in laughter.

[mimi-creates]

HTTYD Fan Fic Idea

A Time-Travel Not! Fix-It

Uh, basically (I don’t know the cause but SOMEHOW) post-RTTE but pre-Drago Hiccup wakes up 3-4 years in the past in his 15 year-old body about a week before the day he shot down Toothless.

Cue in panicked attempts to figure out how that even HAPPENED and Hiccup trying to find a way back to his own time, while also knowing the raid that caused him and Toothless to meet and changed his life is fast approaching and “what if I can’t find a way back to my own time, what if I’m stuck here and what if I never see Toothless again if I don’t shoot him down like last time, I don’t want to hurt him, what if something WORSE HAPPENS TO HIM IF I DONT–“

And then he shoots the bola, afraid of the result, regardless of which one it ends up being.

And he misses.

And now he’s stuck without Toothless and trying to figure out how to fight the Red Death without his bud but also without putting anyone else in unnecessary danger, meaning he can’t just go around training dragons because his dad will do what he did last time–

So he tries to be discreet in the beginning.

Eventually he gets caught by someone from the gang for sneaking into the dragon arena after training hours and actually walking OUT of where the DRAGONS are. (I’m like 75% sure I’m gonna go with Snotlout.)

One thing leads to another, Hiccup connects the gang with their dragons. But also they’re left wondering “Okay, but where’s your dragon? How do you know so much and yet you never fly on one of your own?”

Cue in Hiccup missing Toothless and struggling to give them even a vague explanation to the situation and them not really getting it and trying to get his spirits up and pushing him to find a new dragon partner.

I’m not sure what happens next but I want a random chance encounter between Toothless and Hiccup at some point after this. And Hiccup is just standing there, SO happy to see his best friend and missing him SO much because he know Toothless hasn’t the slightest idea who he is.

But then maybe dragon hunters come after Toothless and when Hiccup hears about it he runs to the rescue and jumps in to protect Toothless (maybe even gets a little hurt in the process, don’t we like drama in this house).

Roughly around that time he finally tells the gang that he’s technically from the future? Because “Hiccup, WHY are you so obsessed with that dragon???” I have a little snipped of him and Astrid talking some time after the reveal.

Toothless is very confused by Hiccup’s behaviour but eventually decides to trust him and when Hiccup ends up in danger instead, Toothless moves in to protect him.

And that’s how they manage to find their way to each other!

I have no idea if I want to keep going with this plot in a way that it just settles back into canon to some extent, or if I want to let Hiccup go back to his own time eventually.

I would have to figure out if I wanna make the time travel make sense first or not. XD

But if it DOES end up making sense, I can see it as like young Hiccup and older Hiccup having switched places in time until one of them finds the solution and reverses their places.

Uuuuuh… typing that out made a lot of ideas flood into my brain. Ideas that may require of me to move some plot points around.

Oh yeah, for extra angst, of course I considered the option for older Hiccup to have been post-Drago Hiccup. Because him interacting with Stoick in the past would be… yeah.

But then like, that would imply he knows about his mom and the Sanctuary, and I kinda didn’t want him to because he could just fly there, meet his mom and then the whole fic turns into him trying to help the dragons by trying to get his parents to just MEET.

… which would be an interesting fic that I wouldn’t mind reading either, but my focus here is different. XD

Also, in the case of a switch, I didn’t wanna put young Hiccup through the pain of finding out his dad is dead and he’s chief now.

…

So that was a long rant.

I guess I’m dropping this off here because as many fanfic ideas as I do have, I write them out impossibly slowly. So I just have snippets of this thing. Not a single even half-way done chapter.

And it would be sad if this never sees the light of day, you know? I need more “Hiccup and Toothless would die for each other” centric fanfics in my life.

[heartfullofleeches]

Oohhh I love the night gallery crew!! <3

Okay so- how would the art gallery harem react to the news that their precious night guard used to pose as a nude art model for one if their previous jobs? Bonus points if they end up digging around and finding old drawings/portfolio pics of them posted online lol

The Painter

Their muse - a model in the past? A nude one at that? They can't say they aren't jealous others have bared witness to their beauty, but they won't be so upset about it if their dearest is willing to come out of retirement and maybe send their older photos up to their study. They promise not to stare too much, but they pray their muse doesn't mind if their eyes linger. It's rare for them to be in the presence of such raw perfection. They are more of a hands on type of painter so their muse wouldn't mind a few touches, no? As they would say, it’s all just apart of the process.

Rosebud

Of course they are interested, but they won't press the matter unless Reader offers to share.... Please ignore the excitement of their roses - though they do reflect Rosebud's inner feelings they assure Reader it's just past their feeding time. Clearly more flustered than they let on. Refuses to look at the images because they would only make them more tempted to leave bites all over Reader to claim them as their own as they are when they see the Guard's exposed neck or wrists or pretty much any uncovered inch of skin.

The Scavenger

Hope staff gives the printer in the breakroom a nice funeral because if Scavenger gets its hands on those portfolio shots it's the end of the line for that poor machine. Anything relating to their precious treasure is the pinnacle of their collection. They must have more - even if it's the same picture a thousand times it's still not enough. If anyone comes across one of their copies it's best theu leave them their because even if they're trying to return them Scavenger will accuse them of stealing. There's not doubt I my mind they've eaten a copy or two because they're weird like that.

The Faceless Angel

Conflicted. On one hand they are interested in seeing their guard in all forms, but on the other it feels like an invasion of privacy. Unlike some, their intrigue comes from an artistic viewpoint rather than sexual. They'd give anything for the opportunity to touch Reader's warm flesh without clothing in the way. It feels like heaven on their stone skin.

The Lady in Red

It's the less images she's interested in and more the people who have seen them. Swiftly cuts down anyone who views Reader's pictures while in the gallery be they human or fellow exhibit. She can't do anything about the past, but does everything in the present to keep too many eyes off her love. Takes the photos Scavenger loses and while she keeps a few on hand - she burns the rest.

Julian

Slimy fuck is probably the first to come across them being the noisy little stalker he is. As an artist in his free time, he does use them for reference, but it's much more fun to use them for other things. Like teasing Reader about their past or taping copies to the breakroom fidge. He only does it when he knows they're the only two on shift because he'll have to hurt anyone who sees them nakee besides him. Like Lady, he's more likely to attack paintings who have gotten a hold of the scavengers copies.

Anri

Their favorite coworker was once a model? How fun! They aren't the best artist, but they can draw Reader too. A little bashful about seeing them naked so they stick to just about the shoulders. They want to at least waiting until their ten date with Reader before seeing them in such a state. Covers their eyes and runs off whenever someone tries to show them. Julian only allows Anri to see the photos because it's fun to chase them through the halls with them or point out various aspects of their features to make Anri flustered

The Director

Dislikes imagine of Reader because while they can be used to create copies of them, The Director wants the real thing. Still has one of Scavenger's photos tucked in his coat pocket.

[zeondraws]

Weh I slept badly, I think the negative memories I have towards the swtd server owner trigger me somehow. Or like my therapist put it when I talked about my toxic coworker "it re-traumatises me". So I struggled to fall asleep at all. I think I'll talk about these memories one more time before I shall move on. It makes no sense to keep myself stressed thinking about it.

But I find it very important to say that, don't harass anyone mentioned here.

If internet drama triggers you, please don't continue reading this post.

When I first joined the server it was still kinda new. I think the only recent discovery we've had was where Muir and Innes would lay near the end of the game. I still remember seeing the server owner talk about it with people.

I had a lot of fun staying there and learned a ton of new things. Which I'll try to apply for future stuff.

But the main thing was that me, the server owner and their friend would talk a bunch about recent discoveries. At one point I would start learning fmodel because I really wanted to gain access to the voicelines and other things. It was when I worked on my Muir video.

They would kinda help me with fmodel but like.. their help on some problems I faced with the program weren't too helpful because often I got answers I already knew. We found complex ways to manually extract the raw files and convert those into wem and then into wav. But that process took too long so I kept tinkering. I think I even said at the end if their friend used fmodel besides me, we would've find solutions quicker.

I still remember the server owner said how they can look through the soundfiles very quickly and apparently looked through 15000 of them. However I had the slight suspicion they won't share the converted files afterwards. I think their friend wanted to show me something but the owner stopped them?

I did figure out how to convert files with fmodel and was finally able to listen to all the soundfiles. I discovered sooo many interesting things, unused lines from Muir, scenes and other unused bits hidden in other folders. I shared my findings on the server. I still remember compiling the soundfiles of the infected crewmates back in October. Discussing the findings and all.

So I would continue to share my findings, I'd ask devs a bunch of questions that I shared on here as well. Even at gamescom I tried asking questions people had on the discord. It was a stressful day because I accidentally got out of the business area and ran around for half an hour to be let back in.

Eventually I would notice weird things the server owner would do, they said they knew where Muir transformed, where the Derrick phone is or some other info of Muir they wouldn't share. Mainly because it's from their projects that they want to keep secret. I tried to be understanding but after a while I got annoyed because I would always share my findings with the community, specifically helped them a ton to figure out Muir's lore for their projects. So them not telling me what they found was weird.

Also because they had asked me a bunch of times to show them something ingame, like we'd hop in vc because they wanted to have screenshots and everything from the Muir level. Afterwards they started saying "I knew where he transformed!" and wouldn't tell. And I pretty much felt used afterwards.

It took me ages to realise they don't own the game at all, even in the last confrontation I did they talked about having other PCs and even after my apology they wouldn't mention what PCs they meant (Do they really own multiple PCs? Or do they mean PCs from friends, Im still confused). I still don't understand if they ever played the game or only watched playthroughs or streams in vc to get their info they needed. And I was their tool to get said info. My main suspicion comes because I swear I saw them talk about seeing the "Davros bug" in their playthrough. Which confused me since that Davros thing only occurs in a game version that isn't public. And they said how they played the game in the first week it was out, often finding it important to mention that they were one of the first people who knew about the game.

They once said how they wanted to work on the swtd wiki, or at least their friend did tiny edits to add some of my discoveries. But only recently I'd learn they won't work on the wiki because they apparently have better projects to work on. I think they wanted to make a new wiki with their friend (their friend knows how to code) because people ranted how bad the info is on the current wiki. (Which is something I'm currently trying to fix)

They didn't even stop people who started vandalising said wiki, they laughed and said how they aren't responsible for what people are doing. And folks shared what edits they made. I am not really mad at the others, tho people on the wiki were very pissed. However I find it bad that the server owner doesn't take responsibility to tell people to stop. Instead it felt more encouraging to vandalise. I think I didn't say much either, an error on my part..

One of the people who edits the wiki got banned from the server. Like what I saw was them saying "ayo" then getting jumped by everyone before being thrown out of the server. I was extremely confused because I didn't think the word would be that sexual? People apparently thought it was. I know I frequently used that word with friends but the server I moderate doesn't ban people for THIS word...

A second person that got banned didn't even have enough space to talk before the owner would open a private thread with me and others talking about if said person should stay. I tried to talk with the person before they got banned put people started cursing at them too quickly, so ofc the person who was affected would curse back.

The owners friend is the most conflicting part because they seemed helpful and kind but I slowly started to get a feeling they were hiding something. Stating their dislike for a certain bigger community for X and Y reasons. But I found what they said hypocritical since I saw similar things in the swtd community. And I don't want to judge another community that I barely know.

But I still felt confused how they wanted to help me but the owner would try to stop them from doing so at times? I don't fully remember anymore.

The final straw before I left was when they shared their dislike towards datamining. Me and another dataminer felt very annoyed about it and tried to say something. They didn't reply back initially. Which made me so angry that I wrote a longer message in one of the chats stating my anger. I felt attacked that they thought us sharing our findings wasn't good, since they said we're handling copyrighted materials. They thought the files had "securements in place" which made them believe the devs didn't want us to datamine. But the securements they mentioned were simply our inability to understand how to use fmodel. Or rather my inability to use the program at the start. The gamefiles are not encrypted and don't need a key to access. It just showed me they didn't have much clue of what they were trying to say.

I think it would make sense if I show screenshots I took, I felt hesitant to keep the screenshots because I really do not want people to harass the server owner. But after seeing a post yesterday regarding the server I feel courage to show my experience. Because I have realised the server owner causes people to leave the fandom... And it makes me feel down to witness this. Community members deserve better and if many people start to feel ignored or start to think they're the enemy it would make sense to properly highlight what's happening. I often feel worried of younger community members who are in the server, but feel intimidated because owner and their friend don't fully know how to make everyone feel at home. Instead, they prefer some people over others, as hollow as that sounds.

This is my initial response after they expressed their view on datamining

Their response was very long as well. I would like to be clear I avoided mentioning their anxiety because I had the suspicion they'd use it as an argument. It's also why I struggled to voice concerns early on, what if they'd use their anxiety to avoid confrontation?

I wanted to talk about it with them in dms to avoid clogging up the public chat, however they told me their dms are closed (they usually didn't have their dms closed towards me, I had talked about random stuff with them in the past) and made a private thread inside the help desk instead.

Even after my apology and even after asking the devs if datamining is OK the server owner still wanted real evidence. I don't understand? They can reach out to the devs if they have concerns about something in the community, or their friend can reach out if they're too anxious. I don't understand how I should gather "real evidence"

The trusted admin was their friend whom I mentioned already. So I felt extra weird. This screenshot is from when they opened the thread.

I didn't take a screenshot of my apology but I kept the message saved somewhere else:

"Hi Owner!

First of all I am very sorry for the way I spoke to you yesterday. I have a big issue with sounding very cold or brutal when I'm emotional/upset, which I didn't realise here and will be working on it to avoid this in the future.

I still need to learn how to sound more neutral, because the way I do it right now makes people feel attacked (like you said) rather than open to discuss. But having made this mistake helps me to improve myself.

I wasn't the only one who was upset by your messages yesterday, so I felt a bit conflicted with how I felt, but probably should have properly reread my messages, before sending.

I would reiterate that the X and Y can see what I do, if they'd dislike it, they would intervene asap and not beat around the bush.

None of them say anything to the 3D models being shared privately on reddit either. Even if people openly ask for those models on reddit posts.

To solve this, I simply asked one of the people what their stance is on Datamining and if I am allowed to do it. Or if I should take something down.

I will get some further info next week, but they said it's a grey area and something that happens on every game. As long as I don't sell or release stuff early they see no problem.

X and Y said they are okay with it. But they'll wait for Z's opinion to see if there is something specific I can't post. Aside from common sense stuff like lines of codes, they don't think there is any issue.

Yes She has helped a bunch and offered their help numerous times.

However we went through a way more complicated process to convert these files. If someone like Her used Fmodel alongside me, we could've avoided spending countless hours doing it manually.

In the end I had to sit down and figure the solution out on my own. I may have terribly worded myself but that doesn't devalue the work I did within this group project. (?)

You have indeed, however I was referring to an earlier conversation, where I wanted to show you Fmodel. There you didn't mention that you didn't own the game or asked if it was incompatible. All you said that you were busy and my mind went to assume something else. So after the second attempt to go over it with you, I thought it would make no sense to ask again.

I don't know what you mean with other ways to play. Do you own multiple PCs? I'm confused, sorry.

I too am a very busy person. I have my own projects I work on, this didn't stop me to learn Fmodel, blender, UE5, OBS and Davinci resolve. You telling me that your device can't handle it is more than enough.

I think it's just important for me that my efforts to find all of this stuff isn't forgotten.

I am not trying to use your anxiety against you and didn't even think about it.

And again I am sorry for attacking you, it's my issue of sounding very brutal or cold when I'm upset, as I've said above. I will work on it, but issues like these reappear, so bear with me. I genuinely want to improve, but I can't do it if I don't tackle the issues head on."

I waited over a day their their response, while I waited they laughed and chatted in the public chat like nothing had happened. As if all issues dissappeared. It wasn't until I said I felt ignored, inside the private thread, that they'd reply to me at 5AM with their long reply:

The main thing is, we both had truths in our message, I wasn't entirely wrong nor were they. But this message showed me they weren't interested in a proper conversation. I asked my friends for guidance in this and they told me it's not worth it.

I don't know what my conclusion should be.. I avoid call out posts like a plague because it brings back bad memories from when I was extremely immature. But, seeing people I enjoy hanging out with leaving the community or stopping communication saddens me. I think it's my responsibility to speak out about issues even if many want to avoid conflict.

My therapist said it's important to face conflict if something arises. If you have a weird feeling in your gut, it's always best to talk it out in a normal manner. Otherwise issues pile up.

I spend almost 10 years to fight for my hobbiest, my family disliked what I find interesting. Told me I'll hate my hobbies and saying they want to throw everything out that I collected. But I stayed stubborn. These two people will not stain my love I have for this game. I fought years with family until I was finally able to get my dream job after enduring a toxic work environment for over a year. I made sure that I will not hate my hobby because of a toxic person.

Do not let negative people stain your love for any passions you might have. Protect them at all costs and establish boundaries where they are needed. These people have their own battles to deal with and I feel sorry that they struggle to manage the server. I still remember when people thought I'd be a good mod (I found that very cute, thank you all) but I found it very funny how the server owner avoided to agree with that at all costs. They tried to change the topic by saying another person would be a good mod, but people still sided with me.

Maybe it's a mistake to make this drama surface on tumblr, but I just want everyone to be informed. You all can draw your own conclusions and tell me your honest opinions, I'll read through them. But please do not harass anyone. If you struggle feeling accepted in the server and already left/rejoined it a bunch of times, it's best to listen to the gut feeling and leave.

Find people who appreciate you for whom you are. I know finding the right people takes ages, but I know there are people who will appreciate you. My dms are always open to everyone, my discord is ikarues if anyone wants to chat there. I know I am not perfect and I am a flawed person!!! But I try to see what mistakes I did and try to learn from them.

After all it's important to make mistakes, it will help with personal growth.

I'll leave the post at that, showcasing my raw emotions.

[riskyraiker]

Idk if tumblr removed my request from you or you decided to ignore it but anyways I'm going to request it again??

So I saw your post with xmen x tfp with a mutant reader, so I think you can do this request. Basically, reader is Charlie's younger sister from Hazbin Hotel and she is in a relationship with cons/bots. What would be Optimus and Soundwave (you can another character if you want) to their s/o being the Devil's daughter, is she actually evil as the myths portrayed? What is she doing here on Earth? There will be so many questions.

You can just ignore this if you want.

Oh I apologize, I saw the request, but I'm having trouble organizing school, freetime and writing. So here I wrote this now quickly but efficiently as possible😭😭I wanted to add Megatron and Ratchet to this aswell so I hope you don't mind!

Y/N Morningstar (Lucifer's daughter)

You were just minding your own business on earth since getting back to hell wouldn't be a problem. Hiding your s/o and their team from humanity was pretty challenging but boring since you're so used to go outside a lot or have something keeping you entertainted. These days only the best part was hanging out with your S/o You have told them about who you're related to, but they don't get human things like hell or heaven yet.

Optimus prime

He didn't understand at first that if you're the daughter of lucifer means that you're a powerful royal being.

He does search your name but only finds mythology about you which he thought wasn't true.

Telling him who you were with a long speech gave him time to process what or who you actually are.

He still loves you the same don't worry about that.

The moment he realizes the mythology he read about you was actually true was when you were furious. Megatron almost beated optimus in a fight.

You looked exactly like the pictures he found of the princess of hell.

He was happy that you weren't pure evil since you're from hell.

He did wonder why you were on earth as a royal demon. Whatever your explanation was, he was content with it.

WARM KISSES!!!!

If he anytime goes somewhere cold for a mission just please heat him up.

No PDA in public, but go around the corner and he's clinging to you

IF! IF your demon form is tall as him! hugs....just hugs.

As long as you're good and treat everyone with respect, you're the perfect couple of the eons.

Ratchet

Didn't believe one piece of scrap you spoke or what he found on the interent.

Once he sees you lose your temper and light things on fire on accident he thought he hasn't recharged enough.

Explain your situation to him and he's really confused.

Supports you anyway, he doesn't care if you're a rare being from hell etc.

he still wonder about one thing: you're from hell where everyone is bad, evil, done sins etc. how come you're so nice and such.

He might have had a spark attack when you changed into your demon form using fire.

His attitude might have changed to somewhat nicer. Definitely not because he doesn't want to get melted.

No PDA. NO! NOT ANYTHING WITH ANYONE AROUND. He likes loves privacy.

Small kisses and smooches if he's working with no one around will make him slightly happier.

Literal princess treatment :D

Warm him up PLEASE.

If your demon form is taller or as tall as him, he WILL be flustered after even one simple hug.

Doesn't question why you're on earth, gladly.

Megatron

Finds you interesting, but doesn't believe everything you say right away.

Asks Soundwave to find information about this thing called hell and it's beings.

Soundwave

You won him over the moment you lose your temper and the whole room is in flames.

If he finds out you might be more powerful than him he might get angry or jealous.

Asks can your dad (lucifer) to join the decepticons. (He ended up going to knockout for new three fingers)

Questions why are you on earth and not in hell ruling your realm.

He treats you with respect. You're a princess so expect some royal treatment!

He loves your demon form. It looks intimidating and strong.

Might give small PDA sometimes if he's in a good mood enough. Privately? He actually shows that he loves you :D

He's cold all the time! Warm him up and make him less angry thank you!

Wants to see how strong you actually are.

No words (no pun intended xD)

He didn't believe you at first ofc none of them did.

Finds your mythology quite interesting yet foolish until he discovers you're really a royalty from hell itself.

Confused why you're so sweet and nice yet being from hell; the place of sinners.

If he ever shows you a heart on his screen it has little devil horns on it like yours<3

He doesn't do PDA except head pats and taking you with him around the ship. Softie

If your demon form is tall or taller than him pick him up, he might struggle to focus on work again (megatron can do his own work for primus sake!)

Treats you the same, but is protective of you, doesn't care if you can take care of yourself.

If you miss your dad or hell. He gives you a smiley face on his screen and tell you to go visit your home!

-------------------–------------

AN: Motivation just punched me in the face :D hope you enjoy! Feel free to make anothe request<3 also if anyone here has read anything from me before thank you for the support! It keeps me going:)

[sparklecarehospital]

I know you’re not working on any askblog things but will the sparklecare askblog ever return?

i've thought about this a lot, semi-recently. sorry for long post, i had a lot to say

see, the issue with asksparklecare is the fact it's supposed to "go along with canon events" and a lot of the time, the arcs will just abruptly end or change with no real connection between them. haunted was sort of my first attempt at putting a "story" on there, then again with the kissmas comic from 2021.

when i started cometcare for example, i wanted to take the generic "ask blog" format and turn it into a coherent, cohesive connecting story that just had interactive elements to make it engaging with readers as opposed to just making people ask the characters questions aimlessly. the main ask blog never really had that entirely, it was just sort of the classic 2010s-style ask blog, this is apparent in basically every arc on there.

it's stumped me quite a bit because now that i have this very different style of ask blog storytelling, the original ask blog feels weird to go back to and i don't feel the same passion or connection with it that i once did. it's a little bit frustrating. i tried to do an arc about the side patients but as you guys saw, i never even did it because i felt so out of touch with that old format of ask blog posts and i couldn't bring myself to work on it at all.

cometcare and darkermatters both have Stories to them, and each arc has a plot that is moved on by readers- even if i already have it written out, there are little things people can influence through the asks and it's a good way for introducing new characters or expanding on characters who we've already met. several times cometcare will return to specific characters to relay information or new details or exposition or something that their initial introduction didn't have.

it's a much more fun process for me to write actual stories in my AU blogs, instead of just....making the characters talk. and another thing- going alongside the main comic has problems, because sometimes there's information i can only reveal in the comic itself, and it's hard to keep up with it in general.

i enjoyed doing the kissmas comic because i got to do a "story" even if it wasn't interactive. i had fun repeating the concept on cometcare last december with help of the crew.

i'm sort of at a loss of what to do with the main ask blog at this point. as much as i miss doing stuff like that for main comic, i just don't find it FUN to do it that way anymore, i've become too attached to the storytelling aspects of my other ask blogs and it just doesn't feel the same exciting experience of watching people react to events and such.

if anyone has suggestions about what i should do with the main ask blog to solve this problem i'm open to hearing them, it would be nice to have some ideas because i'm really not sure what i want to do with it.

there was a time i had the idea of doing a backstory ask blog as an alternate main canon interactive story that followed similar mechanics as cometcare and darkermatters, but idk if everyone would be interested in that. that would probably be a separate thing if i ever did it.

thoughts, opinions, suggestions and ideas are all welcome in the replies or my inbox, i would love to have your guys' input since im making content you all would be engaging with after all

[sophiechoir]

One of my goals for the New Year is to compile the best of Sophie Choir - a near decade of my creative writing - into a physical book.

Two reasons for doing so:

1) Tumblr will not be around forever and I do not want to lose said decade of writing to the increasingly rapid deterioration of the digital landscape. I have tried and not been crazy about the functionality of Tumblr’s blog export feature. I want a separate personal Word doc of the entire contents of my blog as pure archive.

2) Beyond a pure archive, I want to actively reflect on and edit my writing into a curated collection I am proud of, that I can keep on my shelf and give to my loved ones as an important part of myself. This would be the physical book. I know my presence on Tumblr has waned significantly [ though I reblog art & writing frequently on my side blog @sophiechorus ]; perhaps this will tie a bow on my Tumblr poetry era - at the very least, it will be part of a year of reflection and self-analysis as I figure out how I’m going to move forward creatively. I may transition to keeping most of my future writing private for a chance of “real” publication one day.

Since I have technically already “published” all of this writing by posting it here on Tumblr.com, this retrospective book will be self-published. I plan to compile, edit, and design it myself and print it through Lulu.com, having some experience with the process already from my career as a professional graphic designer. I’m really looking forward to making it beautiful.

I have begun the laborious task of copy & pasting my posts into a Word doc. I probably should not have started at the very beginning of my blog, since the oldest posts are extremely painful to read. The nausea has already put me off this project for a week, haha. But I am determined and will not be stopped even by the ghastliest specters of my past! :)

Just thought I’d share a bit of what’s going on behind the scenes. I don’t expect much or any interest, but if anyone would like a copy of the final book, feel free to let me know. Probably won’t ask anything for it (it would be my honor to find a spot on someone’s bookshelf) but it all depends on how the production costs shake out. I will post an update once the book is ready.

Hope everyone is well and filled with the hope and invigorating spirit of the New Year 🕊️

[neechees]

Why do you think it's out of the realm of possibility that people scam using gaza? Anyone can say they're vetted. I can go to my neighbor's house and say that he verified i have a huge cock but that doesn't make my cook huge. I may have never even talked to my neighbor. Maybe my neighbor is made up. Maybe I'm a woman and have no cock. Etc.

You can understand why people are careful with where they send their money, especially when there's not a lot of money to go around. I think everyone should be grateful that any money is sent, at all! I'm broke, too!

I've sent money to specific people in gaza but I'm not stupid enough to be guilted into thinking all these gaza blogs are in good faith. Stop guilting mentally weak and empathetic people into potentially getting their information stolen over payment networks. Shame on you.

I find your wording interesting accusing me of "guilting" the "mentally weak" (weird choice of words but whatever) because I myself havent ever really made posts trying to guilt people into doing anything, all I've ever said is that I think, based on my experience as a scam buster and scam investigator, and based on given evidence, I personally don't think most Palestinian fundraisers are scams, and that people should be cautious of who they accuse of scamming (not even just for Palestinian fundraisers but like.... anyone). I also didn't say it's "out of the realm of possibility for people to scam using Gaza", I've said I think that the cases where this is happening is not as much as people think, and most of the Palestinian fundraisers are genuine, you're twisting my words and misinterpreting me.

As a scam buster I ONLY accuse people of scamming who i have PROOF are scamming and list all my evidence. The closest I've come to "guilting" people is pointing out that White users on tumblr are racist, and empathize with animals more than nonwhite humans, which is 100% true. I've seen tumblr users accuse random users on color on here for being "scammers" despite all evidence to the contrary. A follower of mine even talked about how they've been fundraising for months and still haven't met their goal, but when they asked for mutual aid for their ill cat, they got the money within days. It is not a stretch to say that a predominantly White website is racist lol.

I know anyone can say they're vetted, either you're new here and just came to my inbox to complain, or you've been ignoring my posts. On posts where I call out scams pretending to be Palestinian, I point out that a common tactic scammers will use is that they will lie & say "vetted by x!" Or "verified!", but of course they aren't, dont provide proof they are, and sometimes dont say who vetted them. They do this hoping nobody will double check their notes for verbal confirmation from anyone who is an official vetter and just reblog their post, and some people do. I personally only reblog fundraisers who I have seen have been verbally vetted and confirmed to be genuine by other Palestinian users on here who have been on tumblr for years and are not currently in Gaza. I've continuously warned people to DOUBLE CHECK blogs asking them for money to see if they are vetted.

The (few) scams that are claiming to be Palestinian are not actually Palestinian, and are not in Palestine. We know this, because we know the location of several of these scammers, some of which are from the Philippines (Laura Deramas & her clown crew & ivysour) and the other is from Kenya, which we managed to find out by someone who found the ip address of that scammer. But we ALSO know that there's no actual Palestinians who are scamming because if they are currently in Gaza then why in the WORLD would they be focusing on getting money & scamming for frivolous shit instead of getting out of Gaza? It makes zero sense. Priorities.

We also have the vetting process up set up by real Palestinians who vet by, again, 1. Asking for Palestinian I.D cards from these blogs, which they would know which are real are what is faked, 2. They literally personally know some of these people that are fundraising, or know people who know them, and ask questions that only THEY would know. (This is similarly how I found out info about the Native scammer Julian Charger, because people know each other and talk) 3. Palestinian users who speak Arabic will speak Arabic to the people behind these fundraisers and confirm identities and proof in a Language they understand the most 4. They ask for current photos from these users. One fundraiser we know who gives food to Gazans via donations also will write tumblr urls and write thanks to tumblr on cards in order for us to know that they are in Gaza, and that our money is going to where they say it is 5. Several families HAVE managed to evacuate thanks to tumblr fundraisers, and they update us after their evacuation, like Ahmed. 6. The sheer number of genuine fundraisers is too much for even a group of people to handle and pretend to be scamming for: all these blogs have their own names, family lines, I.d cards, stories of their trauma, what camps they are stating at, who regularly speak with several people to update them, etc and we'd find gaps in their stories if they were lying. We can often suss out scammers because they either A) impersonate real Palestinians and steal their photos, which we then find and can tell who posted it first and is the real person, and B) they continuously use the exact same story or photos & paypal names or variations thereof over and over again, and this is how we know it's them (see: the Kenyan insulin scammer)

But this kind of reminds me of how people will say "don't give money to homeless people on the street because you don't know if they're using it for drugs". No one's forcing you to do anything, but with mutual aid, it is inherently a system in which you acknowledge you don't 100% know what your money will be used for, but it's meant to be that youre doing it because you want to help.

I can't force people to do anything, reblogging fundraising posts, or donating, or not, is entirely your perogative. I've always said that. On multiple of my scam busting posts I've even clarified that I can't force you to believe or not believe my evidence of someone being a scammer. Give them money or don't, believe me or don't, I can't force you to do anything, I'm just presenting evidence and my opinion based on that evidence.

I do not feel ashamed, and if you feel bad and guilty about be saying that I don't think that most of these are scams than that is your problem, not mine.

[anticmiscellaney]

what's your favorite part of writing and drawing newoldrare?

Apart from the fact that I love writing and drawing and have fun doing it and would do it all day every day if I could, it's that I can do exactly whatever the fuck I want with it.

It's likely commercially unpublishable for a range of reasons. All the stories are designed to be printed by specific processes and assembled in ways that will probably not translate to a convenient book, and nothing about traditional publishing sounds like a good deal to me. The comments I've gotten about my other scripts relating to music have been annoying. "Young people don't know who these bands are" - okay I'm not writing YA but no problem, books are a great place to find out about new things. I'm making stories about what I'm interested in and they are an invitation for readers to join me, as I have joined many creators in their interests.

I have a few graphic novel scripts that I'd be happy to draw for traditional publication and maybe one day I'll get the chance, but I also have a full time job because I need health insurance to pay for surgery. I have rent and bills and student loans. There are only so many hours in the day, and if I'm not getting paid to do art, I will only be making art I'm insane about.

NewOldRare is what I'm insane about. The art styles and approaches are varied because I love to try different things for different stories. It'll keep growing; I have a lot of ideas noted down, a lot of scripts of various lengths written, and quite a few thumbnailed. It's small scale. It's specific. It's niche. I hide a lot of things in the backgrounds and they don't necessarily matter to the story, but they matter to me. It's probably pointless, it's just quiet snapshots of the lives of two ordinary people and it's kind of silly, but I care about it. It's partly a response to how alienating I find most queer comics/art, but it's not offering incisive commentary or judgement. It also started as a porn illustration series and I forget most people don't know that because I can't post any of it here.

I held off on posting any of it online for a pretty long time and just sent people PDFs of it because I didn't think anyone else would care - friends are obligated to at least pretend. The fact that some people I don't know like it and see value in it is strange to think about, but also very cool.

I guess that was a long way to say I love doing this work because I enjoy the process, but I also like what it represents about my development as an artist and it has helped me figure out a few things.