#honestly… all these birds and we still have a fly problem

[snstse]

I saw a blue jay today checking out our backyard. Then it came back with a second blue jay (a pair maybe?).

I’ve also seen a pair of mourning doves hanging around our house too. And the bees are all over our flowers.

[mcflymemes]

PORTAL 2 PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2011 video game, adjust as necessary

when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! make life take the lemons back! get mad! i don't want your damn lemons!

best case scenario, you might get some superpowers. worst case, some tumors.

science isn't about why. it's about why not.

the next test is very dangerous.

before the wright brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly everywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.

to help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three... two... one.

please disregard any undeserved compliments.

all right, i've been thinking.

what am i supposed to do with these?

do you know who i am?

oh, i like this guy.

he says what we're all thinking.

you can head on back to your desk.

well, this is the part where he kills us.

hello. this is the part where i kill you.

i know you.

no! i'm not listening! i'm not listening!

you're lying!

you're not just a regular moron. you were designed to be a moron.

i am not! a moron!

now who's a moron?

could a moron do that?

i can't see it though. maybe it fell off.

do you want to go and have a quick look?

are you alive? that's important. should have asked that first.

i'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive.

i'm just going to wait for you up ahead.

i'll wait one hour.

brilliant! go team!

i think we can put our differences behind us.

hi. so. how are you holding up?

good, that's still working.

here are the test results.

you are a horrible person.

i'm serious. that's what it says.

we weren't even testing for that.

don't be alarmed, all right?

good work getting this far.

i wish i could take it all back. i honestly do.

i'm in space.

if i were ever to see her again, do you know what i'd say? i'd say "i'm sorry." sincerely.

i am sorry. i was bossy and monstrous... and i'm genuinely sorry.

you made it through! well done!

okay, follow me. we've still got work to do.

what's happening?

okay... don't move.

so i've got an idea, but it is bloody dangerous. here we go.

they told me that if i ever turned this flashlight on, i would die.

they told me that about everything.

i don't even know why they bother giving me this stuff if they didn't want me to use it.

look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle.

i'm different!

prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. he was cast to the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.

it won't be enough. the answer lies beneath us.

oh, it's dark down here, isn't it?

i'm proud of you.

now we are a family again.

that last test was seriously disappointing.

just work with me.

some of my best friends are actually orphans.

you look ugly in that jumpsuit.

that's not my opinion.

i'll be honest. we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks.

no idea what it'll do.

i knew someone was alive in here!

you'll know when the test starts.

oh thank god you're all right.

i thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend.

the best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one.

i'll be honest. killing you? is hard.

i had a pretty good life. and then you showed up.

you know what? you win. just go.

it's been fun. don't come back.

this sentence is false.

to be honest, i might have heard that one before.

you know, i'm not stupid.

i realize you don't want to put me back in charge.

i'm being serious. i think there's something really wrong with me.

we should get our stories straight.

no, we're not stopping!

don't make eye contact, whatever you do.

i feel awful about that surprise.

oh, that's sad. but impressive.

we're running out of time.

you've probably figured it out by now, but i don't need you anymore.

i'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the being alive club.

the square root of rope is string.

okay, what you're doing there is jumping.

you know what? that's close enough.

you saved my bacon.

is this a jailbreak?

the next test is very dangerous.

it's been a long time. how have you been?

i've been really busy being dead. you know, after you murdered me.

you out having yourself a little adventure?

no, don't get up. i'll be right back.

you're unqualified!

what if this hurts? what if it really hurts? oh, i didn't think about that.

get your hands off me!

i can't see a thing! what just happened?

i don't have any bullets.

did you feel that?

you were busy back there.

that's funny. i don't feel corrupt.

i've got an idea! do what it says!

look how small you are down there!

do you have any idea how good this feels?

sorry, fellas. she's married. to science.

let me answer those questions with a question. who wants to make sixty dollars?

yes, all right, okay, this is getting tiresome.

well done. good. aren't you little miss clever. little miss smashy smash.

does it actually make you feel good when you do that?

it's not impressive.

what is this, like a hobby for you now?

i'm beginning to actually take it personally.

it's like an insult to me.

oh, there goes another one.

it's vandalism! it's pure vandalism!

it's just us talking like regular people.

are you going to open this door?

where'd you go? come back!

[astronomodome]

It’s 3 AM and I’m stressed out so instead of doing boring things like sleeping I’m deciding whether or not I could beat each life series member in a physical fight (c! and cc!). Sorry about the violence idk why my brain thought of this. DISCLAIMER I don’t want to fight any of these people and I don’t wish any harm upon them I’m just delirious 👍 yayy

Rendog

c!: He’s just a guy with dog ears in canon so I wouldn’t be like suuuper fucked but I think I’d still lose. You know he turns up to jazzercise

cc!: Hasn’t he been through enough recently… could I win? Maybe. But I’d be a good sport about it and I’d expect him to do the same should he beat me

Grian

c!: Have you ever tried to fight a bird? Those things are scary. I got chased by a goose once and it was not fun. Yeah this ain’t happening

cc!: You know that one video of Grian demolishing that punching bag? That would be me. Do you want that for me? I don’t

Joel Smallishbeans

c!: I think I could but it would be really close and I’d have to go to the hospital immediately after. Not for fight wounds or anything I just would be worried he’d have given me rabies

cc!: I feel like I would have to fight him and Lizzie at the same time and I don’t think I could take that. Nothing can beat the power of love <3

Scott Smajor

c!: Nah I just lose and he’s judgmental about it too

cc!: LGBT infighting. I would probably lose

BigB

c!: he would win the psychic battle long before the physical battle could even begin

cc!: Man is yoked. I have died

Etho

c!: As soon as I walk up to him he teleports behind me and cuts me in half. Nothing personnel kid

cc!: Lost in the Canadian wilderness trying to track him down, I am mauled by a moose. My corpse becomes a nice meal for some wolves and I am slowly forgotten

Bdubs

c!: I could punt him with ease

cc!: I maybe could but would it really be worth it

Pearl

c!: Ripped apart by hounds so sad. I deserved it

cc!: I can’t afford to fly to Australia. Also even if I could I think she could just throw a bug at me and I would die from the 10,000 poisons that every Australian animal contains

Martyn Inthelittlewood

c!: I lied we’re not fighting I’m leading you out of the endless cycle of violence come with me

cc!: I feel like I would be overconfident going into it and then he would just deck me. Alternatively he could just recite mentally damaging lore facts at me until I fall over and die

Scar from Goodtimes

c!: He immediately engages me in a battle of wits that ends in me paying him to punch me in the face

cc!: I would concede immediately for moral reasons. Maybe we could lightsaber duel instead?

Impulse

c!: He would show up in like full netherite or something. Are these fights happening irl or in minecraft. Doesn’t matter. Either way I am gone. Reduced to ashes

cc!: That is a whole entire human being I think I’d punch him once and then apologize. It would not affect him at all. I don’t think he’d hurt me though

Tango

c!: I might have a chance but the fire hair thing might be a problem

cc!: I think it would somehow turn into a hockey match and given that I have only ice skated twice before and both times ended in me spraining my ankles real bad I don’t think my odds are looking great. He is bald though so there’s always hope

Cleo

c!: I am breakfast. She will eat me

cc!: I don’t think I’d even be able to get the fight set up I think they’d give me a fake address and leave it at that. And I would deserve it

Jimmy Solidarity

c!: We’re both rather pathetic and sad so I think in this case we would just adhere to rule of funny. Whether I win or lose depends on what’s funniest at the time

cc!: The GYM TEACHER?? No.

Skizzleman

c!: Why would I do that

cc!: :( I don’t want to do this anymore. I would lose also that is a whole ass adult man but I think he’d go easy on me so idk

Geminitay

c!: Lol. No.

cc!: I would be beaten instantly cause I’d feel bad about hurting her but honestly I don���t know why this would ever happen. We could be friends <3 sorry is that parasocial

Mumbo Jumbo

c!: I feel like he could outrun me but I could overpower him

cc!: Absolutely no chance, man could bike circles around me. I would be easily run over

Lizzie LDShadowlady

c!: Easily but I’d feel bad about it

cc!: Same as with Joel. I stand no chance against their combo attack

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Raggfong

This week's beast was the Raggfong, much to the dismay of everyone who is sick of birds. Again, sorry, there are a bunch... and the random distribution put a clump of them in December/January, so it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it helps, imagine it's some kind of ritual to empower the birds currently eating the Gävle goat. Or maybe a "Twelve Days of Christmas" sort of thing -- we've already had the partridge.

Also again please forgive me if I fail to string sentences together properly -- still sick. Covid, actually, turns out. The brain fog is difficult; almost forgot I was supposed to do this today.

Anyway, here is the link to the entry that our artists are working from:

(Why did I redact the Greek and Latin names for the coot? I'm not making any effort to hide its identity... baffling choice on the part of Past Me.)

And if you have no idea what this is about, you should take a look at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting for an explanation and previous entries.

As usual, art will appear in roughly chronological order under the cut.

@elodieunderglass (link to post here) responded days before anyone else with this image, which successfully conveys a lot of emotion in my opinion. Those are some very communicative facial expressions on the birds. I particularly like the coot, and how it's positioned to shield the chick from the sun. The real gem here, however, is the text of the post linked above, which I would describe as a prose poem about the bird depicted. I'm genuinely a bit blown away by it -- go click the link and read it for yourself.

@embervoices (link to post here) has got some kind of effect going on here that I don't know enough about art to describe, but I like the way it looks. Her post mentions the phoenix connection, which I think comes through pretty clearly in the design and pose. The linked post explains some design decisions, including which real-world birds were the inspiration for this one.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) helpfully specifies that this Raggfong is resting on a bed of sea kale. The design of this bird is very good, I think, conveying a certain gravity one does not always associate with seabirds. I also like the effect created by the background; it kind of looks like it's the cover for something, you know? The linked post explains the various birds from which the artist borrowed features and why, and also discusses the evocative nature of the entry this is based on -- I'm glad people are enjoying that aspect.

@rautavaara (link to post here) has made the executive decision that this bird is actually a frog, and the drawing is frankly too pretty for me to have any kind of problem with that. Look at that border. And the wonderful color palette. Also there's a flying frog, which is very cool.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) notes an emerging theme in these entries that birds (except coots) are jerks. I honestly can't remember how consistent that theme is across all the birds... I know there are some the author likes, but there are also definitely going to be additional Birds That Are Jerks in future. I like the crown-like crest on the Raggfong, and I'm impressed by the dedication involved in doing all those little body feathers with a fountain pen. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that one of those chicks the adult Raggfong is carrying has been shown staring off in the same direction as its parent, while the other has its head turned and its eyes closed, meaning we can expect it to join the coots off to the right... and there's already a young Raggfong there, too. The linked post contains a detailed explanation of design decisions, which you should go check out. (Also, thanks again for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has employed her usual medieval stylization to depict a Raggfong inspired by an albatross (on the grounds that they are a seabird with "judgy" eyes... you know, I can see it). I am absolutely delighted by the scrungliness of the chick being shown here, which does indeed have the "muppet made from dryer lint" quality of a real albatross chick. They have also included a series of pictures that show the whole life cycle, which I've decided (after substantial back-and-forth) to not copy over here as there's a certain color-of-the-sky quality there, but which I strongly encourage you to click on the link and look at for yourself. I particularly like that the coot in the "life cycle" picture appears to have a couple Ilyechams in her flock in addition to the new Raggfong.

@moustawott (link to post here) describes their Raggfong as a gannet mixed with an eagle, and it looks pretty majestic, honestly. The background really enhances that effect, and I think it makes a much more entertaining contrast with the two little chicks being carried below. There's a certain severity to the design that I think is fitting.

@pomrania (link to post here) has ditched the whole "coot" thing for a more direct interpretation of the Raggfong's "common counterpart", which they deem the "Ritchfong". I kind of like the idea of two related species of bird that the human observer has interpreted to have class divisions. The crest on the Raggfong is also a very appropriate touch, I think. The linked post contains additional detail on design decisions, and links to some process images, so go check that out.

@treesurface (link to post here) has decided that the Raggfong should actually be a sort of insect that people mistake for a bird, which I think is quite clever. They explain their reasoning for that a bit more in the linked post, along with some other notes on design and execution that I think are worth reading. I really like the concept that the "unmoving wings" are elytra, and the kind of glittering quality that they suggest here. (I also appreciate that they provide their own alt text.)

@karthara (link to post here) has drawn a Raggfong in several scenarios to express the behavior described in the entry. I really like the overall design here, with the feathery tufts on its head. Also charming is that one flying up near the sun -- it looks so happy to be on fire. The linked post explains the design decisions and the real-world birds from which karthara has taken inspiration. They also mention they included the coot chicks after looking them up and seeing how colorful they are, so I did a quick google and found this great headline:

(Tl:dr coot parents show preference for more colorful chicks, so the later the chick hatches, the more colorful it is, allowing it to compete with its larger, older siblings for food and attention.)

And finally, the Aberdeen Bestiary depiction:

The one diving into the basin just looks so goofy to me, sorry. Anyway, as I'm sure everyone has guessed, this is the eagle.

Yeah. I know. The whole "fiery rebirth" thing sounds like it should be the phoenix, but this bestiary has an entry for "Phoenix" and it's not this one.

Regular listeners to the Maniculum Podcast may recall this particular eagle behavior coming up before, in the quiz-show episode we did for the second part of "Sidrak & Bokkus". I still don't really know where this idea comes from, but there you go. Eagles.

I feel like there's some kind of comment that could be made over the lack of compassion shown by the medieval eagle here and, you know...

... but I can't quite formulate it, so you'll have to write your own.

Anyway, see y'all next week for our next beaſt.

[lady-ginnie]

Tonight, during Dungeons and Dragons:

For context, a while ago, our tiefling monk got his hands on some...uh...illicit drugs and a set of bombs used for mining. He's been carrying the bombs and drugs for around 4 or 5 sessions.

Last session, the monk, human fighter, and my character, a minotaur druid, got into a spot of trouble during what should have been an easy, in-and-out job, and wound up killing an ogre dockworker. Our fighter unsuccessfully tried to frame the dock foreman for the crime (the foreman was a dick who totally deserved it), but got caught LITERALLY red handed, as there was still blood on his hands.

So, tonight's session, our cleric returned from his hiatus and got filled in on what happened. We were waiting for a letter, so the cleric thought it would be best to lie low in the city for a bit.

Then we see the bounty.

A bounty for the "Zoltan Gang" (Zoltan being the name of our fighter), with a perfect illustration of the fighter's face on it. My druid and the monk were listed as well, but their pictures weren't nearly as accurate. The fighter panics and states that we need to leave town now, so we begin making preparations to go.

Here's the problem: the entrance gates to the city are all guarded, with checkpoints looking for contraband. And presumably criminals.

Our fighter is wanted for murder.

And the monk has drugs and bombs.

Drugs and bombs he almost got arrested with when we ENTERED the city.

So, the monk comes up with a plan.

He wraps the drugs and bombs up so that they resemble a bento box, and asks me to smuggle them out. By this point, I was already a hawk, flying above and watching out for guards so we could get Zoltan out safely. The monk, who can communicate telepathically, tells me to take the bag and make it look like an animal just stole some dude's lunch.

I do so.

The monk then proceeds to go a bit overboard on the acting and goes, "Oh, no, a bird stole my lunch!" thus drawing attention.

A gate guard, trying to be helpful, SHOOTS ME DOWN.

I pop back into minotaur form, tumble over the outer wall, and land in the moat surrounding the city.

The guards were so distracted by a bird turning into a bull that Zoltan was able to get out of the city. But now all eyes are on me.

And I'm now in possession of the drugs and bombs.

So I panic and turn into a large trout, dragging the bag with me into the water and swimming around to the complete opposite side of the city from my friends, while guards go on high alert for a shape-shifting bird-bull-trout. I wind up jumping a levy into a river, get close to some docks where I'm able to pop back into my minotaur form, and get on dry land.

Except.

It's the dock where we killed the ogre last session.

Cue anxiety attack as my nearly 8' tall druid boi tries to remain as inconspicuous as possible while moving across the docks. I made it! But I was back in the city. With bombs. And drugs. And all my friends outside.

Luckily the cleric got back in and was able to find me, but while I was more than willing to leave the bag at this point, the cleric didn't just want to leave bombs in the middle of a city, "where any 5 year old could get hold of it" (valid, honestly).

So, we try the plan again (I'd been in the city long enough to constitute a short rest), and I'm shot at AGAIN. Luckily this one missed.

We did find out later that the bombs no longer worked after getting wet, so we wound up leaving them behind anyway.

So, what should have been an easy walk out of the city took up almost an hour of the session, and it was HILARIOUS.

[mageofseven]

Nesting with Birdie: A BarbMams Love Story

Chapter 12

Taglist: @astroseuss @zarakem @fcxyviixen @brielle043

TW: I describe a real life pregnancy complication. This could be a bit too 'real' for some people so I'm giving a heads up.

Mammon woke up later in their and Barbatos' room in the castle.

Seriously, this wing of the castle should just be known as the hospital wing at this point. Give it time and maybe it will be.

The pregnant demon's vision filled in as the sleepy fog left their mind and they began to notice Barbatos was in a chair by the bed and laid forward, head against the blankets and his hand over Mammon's.

Dude, Barb was gonna back problems, if he didn't already.

The greed demon stared guilty at their boyfriend. They did it again, didn't they? They worried Barb yet again...

Mammon started tearing up.

"Birdie, none of that."

Barb was now gazing up at them from the blankets. Mams quickly started wiping any fallen tears with their sleeve.

The butler rose up and grabbed their wrist, only to take his other hand and gently stroked the tears from their cheeks before giving his partner a slow, sweet kiss.

Mammon turned away, unable to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

"Look...I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I always end up doin' shit that makes you worry for me..."

Barb pursed his lips.

"No...I am afraid this time, the fault is mine." The butler admitted guiltily. "In truth...I suspected such a time would come, but I hoped we would simply have better fortune than this."

"W-Wait what? What happened then?"

Their boyfriend sighed.

"You...are aware that I am unhappy with my visions, yes?"

Mams nodded. Honestly, the greed demon could never understand it; it sounded like a cool ass power after all.

"Well...it is genetic, something that has never sat well with me." His body tensed up a bit as he said this and his eyes even avoided Mammon's own. "Though I have always loved children, I long ago vowed not have any of my own for this very reason. People love to talk about my powers for their rarity and usefulness, but never want to acknowledge the cost of it all. I never wanted to a put a child through that..."

Mammon started to panic, heartbeat racing in their chest. Was this Barb's way of saying he no longer wanted the baby?

The butler took his anxious partner's hand and squeezed it.

"Let me finish, Birdie." He asked softly.

There his little bird goes; their mind is always flying off to their own conclusions.

Barbatos laid his other land on the pregnant demon's belly.

"However, when I discovered you were pregnant...this fear twisted inside my very soul. The very thought of this child having to learn to control the very power that traumatized my earliest days shook me to my very core." Suddenly, a small smile came to his face, even if his eyes still radiated sadness. "Then I began to imagine them, who this small being could grow to be...and I just saw you, a small child that takes after you in every beautiful way, even those you refuse to see in yourself...and suddenly, I realized the idea of us...'doing away' with this child was just as scary to me.

The butler closed his eyes and simply focused on the feeling of his hand on his partner's belly. There was nothing in particular to feel; after all, it was still far too soon for their baby to be kicking. Still, the father-to-be still felt a connection to his child as he did this.

"I...let you decide the direction this would take, something that I would have done regardless since this is your body going through these changes after all." He continued. "However, I also needed you to do so because the truth of the matter was that I was frozen for the first time in my very long life...I still do not know if I could have made a decision if you had not. Luckily, you did and since then I have been...looking out for you in little glimpses."

Barb finally met his partner's eyes once more.

"I would just check on you in short glimpses in the future, whenever I was particularly...anxious without your presence." He explained with just the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks. "After our last talk, I was well aware you were seeking Lucifer's help with informing your younger brother on...well, all of your more time-sensitive secrets and so I wished to see how that was going to turn out for you...that's when I when I saw your episode and realized our child truly has inherited my...'gift'."

The bitterness was extra thick at that last word and it usually was. That's all anyone ever refered to his particular version time mapping. They always saw what he could do; how they could use him. They cared not how much he suffered to get to this point.

"I made it over there as soon as I could. I am very sorry I was not quicker." Both the butler's eyes and voice was soft as he said this.

Mammon pressed their lips together before leading their linked hands to their belly so both of the couple's hands were resting there.

"Nah, I'd say you came for us just in time." They told him. "I mean, we're alright, aren't we?"

Barb sighed.

"Mammon, you could have fallen and hurt your head."

"But I didn't!...Right?"

"Lucifer said you collapsed in an open area of the living room originally so there was not much to hit your head on." He relented. "Still, we need to figure something out to help your body handle the visions better. Having two happening, one after another had quite the affect on your blood pressure and we cannot have that become consistently high."

"What will that do?" The pregnant demon asked.

"High blood pressure is nothing to take lightly." Their boyfriend lightly lectured. "It can attribute to a list of health problems, but most notably preeclampsia."

"...okay so what are the clams gonna do to me if my blood pressure is high?"

The butler sighed.

"Preeclampsia is a complication in pregnancy caused by high blood pressure. It can lead to some kidney damage, sometimes damaging other organs." He explained, frowning. "It...it could even cause your body to restrict the blood and oxygen our child gets, which would limit their growth and could lead to a premature birth for our child."

Mammon's eyes widened.

"Shit..." The pregnant demon hugged their boyfriend's hands to their belly, which stayed in place this entire time. "How do we prevent this pre-clam stuff?"

"We just need to keep your blood pressure down." Barb explained calmly. "I will look into methods on how to help keep you calm when a vision presents themselves, but for now, please do not stress about it, my little bird."

And with that, the man leaned down and kissed his partner's belly.

Things just had to get even more complicated. Still, Barbatos was going cling onto his birdie and their baby now more than ever.

[revalentine2]

Winona's Skyfall! - Team Objective plays Pokemon Emerald

Norman and Haven - Roseanne of Team Objective (2024, pencil on paper)

Aha, a flying type gym! Should be no problem for my rock and electric types, plus Iris' new move.

...Birds only??? That's. Well. Hm.

I'll admit, I never understood this mindset. You already dedicated yourself to a singular type, but now you further restrict yourself by only allowing certain species? What about flying objects, like Drifloon, or Rotom's fan form? Ooor some other ones, I guess.

No matter. Her restrictions will be her downfall!

Maximum, time for a proper debut! Spark! Eliminate that bird masquerading as a cloud!

Oh, looks like I angered momma. Well, let's just thunder wave it and then bring in-

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhhh no. I'm so sorry, Maximum!

Just a setback. We're well prepared for this.

Iris, come in and Ice beaAAAAOOOOoooh no. That's not good.

Even with quad effectiveness, we don't hit very hard...we may need a change in strategy.

Ouch-dragonbreath does a lot! Skybomb, Haze it! Get rid of those boosts!

This thing's really put us on a backfoot...

Sungaze, let's see if you can do some chip damage...?

OH! Critical hit! That's the power we needed, Sungaze!

Okay, that is NOT a bird. That is...honestly, I have no idea, but it's certainly not an object either. Stick to your own script, Winona!

it's definitely a grass type, though! FLAMETHROWER!

Two hits and it's down! All it did was charge a Solarbeam in between!

This pelican will be no problem for 'Splodey...

Skarmory can probably take one, but it's all over at this point!

The spamming healing items is unappreciated.

Uhh...I missed. She got sand in 'Splodey's eyes when I wasn't looking! We may have to swap around a bit to restore our accuracy.

Ugh...swapped on a Steel wing. No matter, if Sungaze goes down they still got some damage in. Flamethrower!

Two more hits is all it takes.

Give me that gym badge, you silly woman! You're not even sure what a bird is!

And that makes six badges!

I don't have much time left today, but we'll continue moving forward. There's a couple milestone I wanted to meet this time around, and we're so close. Just a few more trainer fights.

And there's one! Skybomb, you've been a trooper and you deserve this upgrade. Two mutated heads are better than one!

And Iris! Really living up to their name now, I see. Eyes in all directions! What a strange and beautiful relic!

...What's that? Oh, they're asking me to follow again!

This is the third of these rock formations! Six dots all around, much like the six eyes on Claydol. And three of them...that old legend...didn't it mentions something about three pillars? Are these the pillars in question?

I must know more, but I've run out of time for today! Until next time, loyal followers!

Team: StepStone the Graveler (F) Skybomb the Weezing (F) Sungaze the Solrock Iris the Claydol 'Splodey the Electrode Maximum the Magneton

[askkrenko]

Krenko’s Guide to Pokemon: Togepi Line

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

DESIGN:

Egg.

Egg egg egg. 

Togepi directly translates to something like “spikepeep,” because it’s like a baby bird, but with a spikey head. Despite Togepi’s lack of bird traits, its core design is that of a creature still within its eggshell. What makes this oddly reasonable is that eggshell protects it much like a shellfish’s shell might, just not nearly as dense. We know from Professor Elm’s initial egg research that the shell is made of plant material and soil, creating a nice little cushion around the Pokémon inside.. The actual features of a Togepi are a bit nondescript, but it allows the focus to remain on the egg, giving this a really strong design. The bright colors, though meaningless, help breakup what would otherwise be a monotone eggshell.

Togetic gains a few more bird traits but keeps the core egg-shaped body. Honestly, I think its design is kind of a downgrade. Now instead of looking like a creature coming out of an egg, it just looks fat and round, with more focus given to its blander traits. The wings are a nice touch, but the long neck compared to the short limbs and the lack of a second primary color just makes it look kind of slapped together without a real idea for form or function.  I’m also not sure what its body is supposed to be covered in. If that’s all feathers, it’s weird that it still has the egg pattern, but if it’s eggshell or skin, then its wings are weird.  Also, it has hands and wings, which I’m not inherently opposed to but it does raise further questions about what this thing is supposed to be.

Togekiss, thankfully, fixes Togetic’s weird problems. The arms and wings combine into huge, soft looking wings with tufts that let you know that this creature is feathery, the neck disappears again, and the clear shapes of the egg become spots. It still has an overall egg shape, but it also looks like something good at flying, and the addition of red and blue on its head give it a much stronger visual. Togekiss is a perfect final form for Togepi, even if Togetic seems like a mistake upon the way.

Also, I really just want to throw one of these things. Not maliciously or anything- I don’t want it to get hurt. I just want to scoop it up, shout “GO LONG” and send it flying at someone as fast as I can, at which point they’ll catch it, get a soft thump because it’s 80+ pounds, but also covered in feathers, and then they’ll throw it back to me. With its egg body and huge wings I bet this thing can glide forever.

Art by Oddsocket

ECOLOGY:

Though primarily native to Sinnoh, Togepi are nearly extinct in the wild, their ecological niche completely unknown. Unlike most Pokemon, Togepi cannot breed until they evolve, and they cannot evolve without sufficient joy and happiness, which is nearly impossible to achieve while hiding from predators. Further, Togetic only breed through the PokéEgg method used only rarely by most Pokemon (see Professor Elm’s research). Fortunately, Togepi are extremely friendly, eagerly latching onto humans to evolve, and Togetic are extremely happy to breed in captivity. Few Pokemon create PokéEggs as swiftly as Togetic, though the necessity of evolving first and the massive male to female disparity in their chicks keep them from overrunning areas. It is not uncommon for breeders to simply give away extra Togepi eggs to young trainers. 

Togekiss, requiring exposure to an evolution stone, is effectively unheard of in the wild. The few verified sightings of wild Togekiss have been in Galar’s Wild Area, where the stones can be mined.

More art by Oddsocket because I liked these

TYPING:

While Togepi is pure Fairy, both evolved forms are Fairy/Flying. This combination grants immunity to Ground and Dragon attacks as well as a double resistance to Bug and Fighting. With additional resistances to Grass and Dark, this more than balances its five weaknesses.  Offensively, the pair hits five types supereffectively, though has to contend with Steel resisting both.

STATS: 

Dumped Attack aside, Togekiss has average to good numbers in everything, with a particularly strong 120 Special Attack and 115 Special Defense.  Its second worst stat is Speed, which is still quite average at 80. Absolutely no complaints here.

Art by Missy Pena

ABILITIES:

Hustle is an odd choice for Togekiss, increasing its attack stat by 50% but dropping its accuracy by 20%. While this can be a powerful option, even at +50% attack, Togekiss’ special attack is better. Using Hustle would be insane.

Serene Grace is an incredibly strong ability that doubles the odds of secondary effects on attacks. While this is ‘fine’ on a move like Psychic, doubling its Special Defense drop chance from 10% to 20%, it’s frankly unfair on Air Slash, doubling its 30% chance to flinch to a whopping 60%. 

Super Luck increases Togekiss’ critical hit rate by one stage. This is a strong ability that many Pokemon would be happy to have, but it’s not Serene Grace with Air Slash. The vast majority of Togekiss are going to want Serene Grace. This isn’t to say Super Luck isn’t viable or even good, just that Serene Grace is a huge selling point. If you do want to use Super Luck, combining it with the Scope Lens is extremely potent. Critical Hit rate increases are effectively multiplicative, so while Super Luck raises base Crit rate from about 4% to 12.5%, adding the Scope Lens further raises that to a whopping 50%

Togepina Colada by Naschi

MOVES:

Air Slash. It’s STAB, it’s Special, it combos with Serene Grace to make anything slower than Togekiss extremely sad. If you’re using Super Luck… you can stick with the secondary effect of Air Slash or go with the high-crit-rate Air Cutter, which has a lower base power at 60 instead of 75, but ups crit rate by another stage, potentially raising a 50% to a full 100% and ensuring a critical hit on every attack. 

Moonblast is not only the strongest Fairy attack Togekiss can learn, but it combos with Serene Grace to have a 60% chance of reducing the foe’s Special Attack. In doubles, Dazzling Gleam hits both enemies and is thus the better option.

Togekiss has plenty of coverage options, able to learn all sorts of special moves, but it’s generally most important to get something that can hit Steel types, like Flamethrower or Aura Sphere. 

Thanks to its high defense and special defense, Togekiss has opportunities to use setup and recovery moves. Nasty Plot turns its already high Special Attack stat into an overwhelming one while Roost, Heal Bell, and/or Wish provide healing to itself and others. In doubles, it gains access to moves like Follow Me and Helping Hand while having the durability to leverage them multiple times in a fight. 

Other useful utility moves include Yawn, Thunder Wave, Defog, and Charm, though often you’ll just want to be attacking and hoping Serene Grace gives you a secondary effect. 

Art by C-Ren

OVERALL:

Other than Togetic looking really stupid, this line is great. Togepi’s an adorable egg, Togekiss is a football bird, and with solid stats and Serene Grace it has a lot of interesting combat options. The middling speed is always going to hold it to being a meta pick, but a 60% Flinch chance and strong resistances means Togekiss’ good matchups are very, very good, and its high Special Defense lets it stand up even to some super effective hits. 

I honestly don’t see any need for anything to change about Togekiss at all. It’s in a good spot, comparatively, and any buff could risk making it oppressive. I think it’d be fun if it could learn Hurricane, though. 70% accuracy and 60% confusion chance turns into a 42% confusion chance, which could be fun to roll and is a lot more damage than Air Slash.

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Boromir and his chaotic hobbit wife #2

(still thinking of a name for her, im considering either magnolia or myrtle...anyway...here's more! once again, this features other members of the fellowship)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Okay, truth or dare? Boromir: Truth Hobbitess: How many hours have you slept this week? Boromir: Boromir: ...Dare Hobbitess: Go to bed. Boromir: I don't like this game.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is such a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I prevented a murder today. Boromir: Really? How'd you do that? Hobbitess: self control.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I am an expert at identifying birds. Boromir: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Hobbitess: Yeah, they're all birds.

(honestly that one could go either way lmfao)

~~~~~

Boromir: Is something burning? Hobbitess: Just my love for you. Boromir: love, the toaster is on fire.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Change is inedible. Boromir: Don't you mean inevitable? Hobbitess, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

~~~~~

Boromir: You're giving me a sticker? Hobbitess: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!” Boromir: I'm not a preschooler. Hobbitess: Fine, I'll take it back Boromir: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~

Boromir: Dumbest scar stories, go! Hobbitess: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Merry: I dropped a pan on my leg once and burned it. Pippin: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Sam: I was taking a pot of noodles off of the stove and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Frodo: Frodo: I have emotional scars.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Rules are made to be broken. Boromir: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Merry: Uh, piñatas. Pippin: Glow sticks. Sam: Karate boards. Frodo: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Hobbitess: Rules. Boromir:

(*grumbles in italian about spaghetti*)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Bye Boromir! Bye Gandalf! Bye Gimli! Bye Aragorn! Bye Boromir! Pippin: You said ‘bye Boromir’ twice. Hobbitess: I like Boromir.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Pippin, can I talk to you for a second? Pippin: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Boromir are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Hobbitess: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

~~~~~

(modern au)

Boromir: Hobbitess and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Aragorn: *Sighing* What did Hobbitess do? Boromir: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Hobbitess: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~

Hobbitess, after Boromir's death: ive come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than "fuck"

~~~~~

fair warning, these next few will probably be spicy

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Well, Boromir and I finally did it! The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.* Hobbitess: That's right... We kissed!

~~~~~

Boromir: I feel like doing something stupid. Hobbitess: I’m stupid, do me.

~~~~~

Boromir: What are you in the mood for? Hobbitess: World domination. Boromir: That's a bit ambitious. Hobbitess: You are my world. Boromir: Aww... Hobbitess: Boromir: Hobbitess: Boromir: OH.

~~~~~

Boromir: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things. Hobbitess: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I like your new pants! Boromir: Thanks, they were 50% off! Hobbitess: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Boromir: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Hobbitess: Thats’s… not what I meant. Boromir: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Hobbitess.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Boromir: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: It'll be fun. Hobbitess: We'll make a day of it. Hobbitess: Come on you punk bitch. Boromir: I can't believe I have to say this. Boromir: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Boromir: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Hobbitess: I— Hobbitess: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

~~~~~

Boromir: Wow, Hobbitess, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Hobbitess: We literally slept together yesterday. Boromir: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

~~~~~

alright, back to non-spicy stuff

~~~~~

Hobbitess: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Boromir: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Hobbitess: I said within reason, Boromir. How about I murder that guy? Boromir: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Hobbitess: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship. Boromir: These are handcuffs. Hobbitess: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

~~~~~

Boromir: You have to apologize to them Hobbitess. Hobbitess: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

~~~~~

Pippin: Where did you get that tomato soup? Hobbitess: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

~~~~~

Pippin: My head hurts. Gandalf: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

~~~~~

Gimli: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything? Hobbitess: I had a lizard that I burnt.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *Hugs Boromir from behind* Hobbitess: *Tucks Boromir's hair behind his ear* Hobbitess, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

~~~~~

Boromir to Hobbitess: Turn that frown upside-down! *a little while later* Boromir: What are you doing? Hobbitess, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

~~~~~

[owlhead650]

Pokemon Rejuvenation - Interceptor Asopo

This is a Pokemon Rejuvenation fanfiction that's roughly 2850 words long. This story will be like Asopo is writing diary entries about what he experiences. I don't make any alterations to the plot but I instead share my interpretation of what the main character would have been thinking at different parts of the early game. The protagonist in Rejuv goes through a lot and I wanted to explore that.

Day 1

I’m overwhelmed. My mother, Nancy, got kidnapped by this group called Team Xen. I was nearly captured too but mom tried really hard to save me. She held off the purple haired woman long enough for me to escape to the deck, but I was cornered there anyway. I thought it was over for me, but then a large flying Pokemon named Talonflame grabbed me and carried me all the way to land. It has a human partner named Tesla. She said she was doing her best to save people from the sinking boat. She left to go help more people after asking me who I was. She seems very nice, I hope I see her again soon. 

I honestly felt so lost, walking into Gearen city this morning, but the sound of the rainfall felt calming. I like rain. I also think the ocean looks beautiful. That’s why when I reached the lab in the city centre, the first Pokemon I chose was a water type called Mudkip. It looks adorable and I bet it’s really good at swimming. It also has these orange things on its cheek which remind me of the hoodie Mom bought me when we visited a shopping centre together. The professor who gave me my Mudkip friend is named Professor Jenner. He seems okay, but overall I don’t know what to make of him. He was talking to this red haired woman on his TV when me and the league scout Amanda walked into the room. He acted a bit suspicious and suddenly turned the TV off.

Me and Mudkip explored the city and battled many trainers. We came across some dirty puddles and Mudkip really enjoyed splashing around in them. He got my legs dirty when he splashed about but I was still happy to see him having lots of fun. I checked the pokedex that Professor Jenner gave me and apparently Mudkip’s later evolutions can live easily in muddy water. That’s when it dawned on me that there are thousands of Mudkip all around the world, and that everybody just calls all of them Mudkip. My Mudkip feels special to me so I think I should call it something different. I then named my Mudkip ‘Mud Splash’. Mud Splash the Mudkip. Me and Mud Splash seem to make a good team. I came across this place called ‘The Help Centre’ where you can help other people with their problems. I really want me and Mud Splash to get strong enough to help my Mom escape Team Xen, so hopefully if I practise helping people at the help centre then I’ll be able to do it. There was this girl I met called Sasha who was missing her own mother. I decided to help because I knew how scared she must have been feeling. I hope that because I helped her then that means I’ll find mine someday soon too. 

After we found her mother, they offered to give me a free haircut because Sasha’s mum is a barber. I asked to have my long hair cut a lot shorter. They were upset at first because they thought my long hair looked really nice, which I appreciate, but I explained to them that my whole appearance feels wrong to me. I told them that I feel like my body wasn’t really made for me, if that makes any sense. I’m not against having long hair but I think I want to try to make myself look as different as I can for now.

After doing lots of different help requests, I took a break and rested at the Pokemon centre. Pokemon centres are a good idea, anyone can go there to have their Pokemon friends given medical treatment or physical maintenance after battling. At that point Mud Splash wasn’t my only friend, I found Chrpy the black fletching. I used the pokedex so I know that the Talonflame bird that helped Tesla save people was once a fletching. I even learnt that the reason Chrpy is black is because it’s shiny! I also met Wake the Buizel who was being neglected by this other mean trainer who abandoned it. One of the help requests was from a travelling girl called Novae who gave me a Pichu when I defeated her. I named the Pichu Thunder Tail and it turns out she was another shiny! There’s Paddle the Psyduck and Captain the Nidoran. Nidoran was the third shiny that day, and I thought the pokedex said they were rare.

By evening time I walked past a house with loud music blaring out the window. Two people seemed to be arguing inside, until one of them was literally thrown through the roof! A girl my age with long purple hair, a black tank top and a short white skirt landed in the yard in front of the house right in front of me. I checked to see if she was okay, but she told me she was dying. I got really upset, all she did was play music too loud but now her own mother threw her out of the house and fatally wounded her! Of course, I learnt later that it was just a prank. The girl was taking advantage of my desperation to trick me into bringing her a free berry. Turns out she does this a lot and the berry salesperson was getting sick of her. This girl was called Veronica by her mother but says that she would rather be called Venam. Despite the fact that she gave me a fright, I actually quite like her. She introduced me to her two friends Melia and Ren who I had coincidentally met earlier before Venam. I think… I’m friends with them? We had an adventure in the sewers together and Venam was impressed by my battling skills so she challenged me to fight for her Gym badge. She’s a gym leader, I know the Aevium league has eighteen strong trainers called Gym leaders and Venam is the first. It was getting late so after our adventure in the sewers I told my three new friends that I was going to wait until tomorrow to challenge Venam. 

I guess you could say that I had a good day? My first day in Aevium was scary and lonely, but also fun and welcoming. Everything started looking up once I got my first Pokemon, I was able to help lots of other people and make new friends. Pokemon are beautiful, awesome creatures. Lot’s of other trainers are nice too, but not all of them. This world uses the power of Pokemon to create a strong and comfortable society for humans to live in. This benefits Pokemon too, but not every human is grateful to Pokemon. The boy who had Wake before me said that Pokemon are only for fighting. I know he’s wrong, but it’s sad to think that there are normal people like him who think that way and it’s sad to think that there are scary people like Team Xen who use the power of Pokemon for evil. Overall I’m finding the world to be a place of mixed emotions and concepts, it’s not simply one thing or another. My Mom, before she was taken away, told me to find new love and happiness. She wants me to be happy, but that might not always be easy. I’ll do my best regardless.

Day 2

I’m overwhelmed, again. My best friend Melia died today. My second day in Aevium started off good. I had some nice breakfast in the pokemon centre and started to prepare for my gym battle against Venam. I went to the library for the first time because I wanted to see if I could find a book about how to beat gym leaders, instead I found Ren. Ren knew lots about pokemon attacks and he gave me some tips about how to counter Venam’s battle style. When I went to the gym it had a really unique atmosphere. It was dark inside but also well lit up with these flashing, colourful lights. I think it was meant to be a sort of disco club place, which is fun because I’d never been anywhere like that before. While I was exploring the gym I found a secret room that led to a junkyard. Venam explained that the junkyard is where she keeps all her scrapped gym ideas, one based on Seviper, another on Whirlipede and even this abandoned factory gym. Seeing that really helped me realise something important, nothing lasts forever. Change is inevitable and even if you really like something, such as a building, you’ll need to leave it behind or change it one day. After seeing all that, I battled Venam and won. Even though Venam was clearly super strong, I actually didn’t allow more than one of my pokemon to faint during the battle. Venam, Melia and Ren were all very impressed. That made me happy. I think the win was partly thanks to the training me and Ren did. Ren actually challenged me to a battle afterwards and I won that as well. 

Melia had invited me to Goldenleaf Forest for a trip with her and I accepted. That was when I met Tesla again, she gave me a lifetime free pass for the train ride and checked in on how I was feeling. I was reminded again of how kind she is, after that me and Melia had a really fun time exploring the forest. We went through this cave and stumbled upon some ancient ruins. After we got through the ruins we found a place that wasn’t on the map and Melia named it the Silent Grove. I thought it was a nice name, but what was nicer was the picnic we shared. We sat down eating sandwiches, surrounded by these beautiful Vivillion with translucent wings. Melia told me they were known as ‘The Butterflies of Fate’ which is very dramatic for some bugs but I guess their rarity makes them deserving of it. During that picnic, I think I realised what Melia was to me, she was my best friend. I know that only knowing somebody for two days might not be long enough to really be able to call them a best friend, but that’s just how I felt. Being with her put me at ease, I was able to talk about all the really hard things that had been weighing on me. I told her about my Mom, about Team Xen and about how I generally felt lost. Melia was a good listener and she challenged me to a pokemon battle afterwards. My winning streak continued, despite the fact that Melia herself was preparing to become a gym leader like Venam. Yet no winning streak could save me from the awful loss I was about to experience. Team Xen attacked. A man named Zetta brought loads of Xen grunts to help him capture Melia. He even transformed lots of poor small Magikarp into a big monster to attack me, fighting the so called ‘Rift Gyarados’ took everything I had. I was barely able to push it back. After that me and Melia were able to escape the forest and get back to the city. I thought we were going to be safe but Melia’s adoptive father, Professor Jenner, had dealings with Team Xen this whole time. I don’t think it’s as simple as Jenner betraying Melia because he desperately asked me and Melia to help, but Melia was super angry at him. A red haired woman from Team Xen was there, I think her name was Madelis, she fought Melia to capture her. Melia did a really good job fighting back and managed to knock out her Houndoom but my own pokemon were too tired from fighting the Gyrados. The final time I ever saw Melia was when she tried to escape Madelis by getting her Togepi to use teleport. She asked me to grab onto her but I was too slow. What would have happened if I were faster? Would Melia still be alive? I’ll never know, me Ren and Venam all ran to Amethyst Cave because we believed we could save Melia if we caught up with her. We were too slow. Just like the woman with the Gothitelle said, Melia was dead before we stepped inside that cave.

As I write this I’m at Venam’s house, staying the night. It was nice of her mother to let me and Ren stay because I really didn’t want to be alone. I also didn’t want to talk, most of the time I don’t want to anyway, but especially not then. Convenient then that Neither Ren or Venam had anything to say. Is this how life will be for me? Mom, Melia… I formed a strong bond with both of them in a short time, yet soon after both of them were lost. I don’t want my whole life to be like this, I don’t want to keep gaining things that are precious to me only for them to be ripped away soon after. My Mom and Tesla would both say I need to hold onto hope, but how can I do that…?

Day 4

I’m still at Venam’s house. We say little and do little. That’s all.

Day 7

I’m done mourning. So are Ren and Venam. Ren encouraged me to continue with the gym challenge and I think he has the right idea. I need to get stronger, strong enough to save my Mom and stop Team Xen. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but that’s okay. I know that wherever I go I’ll do my very best to find hope and make a difference. I’ll start by doing some more help requests. It's fulfilling to help others so maybe when I help other people I’ll also help myself.

Day 14

After spending enough time off course I went through Amethyst Cave and befriended a strange girl named Nim. Apparently she’s known about me for a little while and wanted to be my friend. That sounds innocent enough, but she’s been watching from afar for the past couple of days and she was rather pushy about the whole becoming friends thing. I appreciate her lively spirit but she comes on very strong. She also claimed she was my ‘guardian angel’ which was probably a joke but it’s still very sweet of her to say something like that. Overall I find Nim to be a very pleasant individual but her eccentric behaviour might take some getting used to. Right after finishing things with her I arrived in Sheridan Village and met another girl called Aelita. She wants my help getting the gym leader to return to his senses and stop locking himself away. The way he hides himself away reminds me of how I was just after Melia died. Maybe this sensei is going through something similar to what I did? Either way I know that it’s important for me and Aelita to help him.

Day 15

We helped Keta open up to his people again and stop hiding himself away. But guess what? He died right after! Why do I keep watching people die?! Is this normal?! Better yet, I was forced to murder a pokemon today, just like how I had to murder the rift pokemon the day Melia died. Team Xen had set up this big underground lab because Keta had dealings with them. He sacrificed himself to stop a shadow Mewtwo from attacking me and Aelita, he said he was doing it to atone for his sins but honestly I wish he could’ve atoned by surviving instead. Honestly the idea of someone needing to die for a cause or hurt themselves for ‘atonement’ or whatever is sickening to me. Why does the world demand sacrifices from people? Why is there always such a devastating cost? After we escaped Team Xen, Crescent’s Gothitelle teleported me to another Xen base. I was terrified because I was suddenly surrounded by a bunch of strong enemies. I was worried that maybe that was going to be the end, but the Gothitelle teleported me back to Sheridan. I wasn’t able to catch the shadow Mewtwo because the Xen Admin Madelis activated a machine that broke my snag arm I got from Melia. Me and Aelita are going to Akuwa town to find an engineer called Saki Blakeory who might be able to fix it. At this point. I’m going to stop numbering my diary entries with the number of days I’ve been here because inexplicably I disappeared for a whole week. I honestly cannot tell you why I was gone for a week or what I was doing for that time, but according to Aelita that’s how long I had disappeared for. My life is insane, Aevium is insane and I just wish people would stop dying every time I start to understand them a little bit.

[masterqwertster]

Send an AU for 5+ headcanons: Consecution Quest AU please.

🔮 Laudna/Adeline does retake the Warlock class, but this time her Patron is Ashton. Having a new life granted new perspective that made it easier to say 'No' to Delilah and 'Yes' to Ashton when the idea of a Patron swap was brought up. And I feel like it does have to be a Patron swap since it's been revealed that Delilah basically entwined their souls, so I'm not feeling super confident about saying consecution would separate them. Unless it brought them back into separate bodies... Oh shit, that could be kind of cool with a bit of a Ted-and-Opal-ish type of situation for the Warlock aspect, except Delilah has a body. For a while. Will expand in the next point.

So anyways, like Fjord, Laudna/Adeline upgraded to a new Patron of greater strength. I lean towards the Genie patron/subclass because Baby Titan, but an argument could be made for Undying given consecution.

🔮 So about the above Delilah thing that just occurred to me. How it works is as follows: Bells Hells obviously isn't going to tell much of anyone of power about Delilah and her grip on Laudna for fear of Lord de Rolo coming for their asses with all his resources and the rest of Vox Machina. Bells Hells are also the idiots who sweep their problems under the rug and ignore them until they're actively problematic once more, so they're not going to consider what happens to Delilah if Laudna is bound into a cycle of reincarnation because she's under the rug at the time.

Because of the intertwinedness of Laudna and Delilah's souls, they both end up passing through a "Beacon" with all its possibilities to be reborn. Don't kid yourself into thinking for one second Delilah wouldn't pick a possibility where she has her own body instead of riding shotgun in Laudna's.

So Delilah is reborn. And since she's got wild necromancy powered by the babiest evil god, she doesn't really suffer the past life memory issues. Which gives her the side effect of knowing but being physically incapable of acting. But she's probably murdered the family she was born to and resurrected Sylas by age 10. Or maybe the family lives (probably in fear of their scary powerful necromancer child). It's honestly hard to tell how the madwoman would feel about having blood family given by the time we know her she's all-consumingly obsessed with Sylas.

And, of course, being the hateful thing she is, Delilah has to go after the de Rolos (and the rest of Vox Machina). She doesn't succeed and ends up dead again at like, 15. The only reason Vox Machina even really knows it was Delilah was the involvement of Sylas, back yet again after his last death at Dalen's Closet, and they've honestly got no clue how Delilah came back again since a) they thought Laudna was the last anchor and that was severed when Pike resurrected her and b) Laudna is dead now anyways.

Being disembodied once more, Delilah realizes she's still got a tether to Laudna, so apparently it's time to ride that wonky horse again. Also because she was too far from a Beacon to be passed into a new life by Laudna's consecution that she was riding.

Unfortunately for Delilah (and fortunately for most everyone else), a new blank slate of a life without her has given Adeline the spine and context to reject her and fall into safer arms.

Thus Delilah is finally put down for good.

🔮 Caduceus would definitely actually get to say "Someone please take this child away" about Ashton in this AU. Essek has definitely brought the Baby Titan to the Blooming Grove as an escape point from danger or just because he needed a breather from all this baby-sitting and Search Quest travel

🔮 I don't know if I want Imogen's reincarnation to be an eisfuura or a centaur more. On one hand, flying dates with Laudna (and fun tension with Ruz/FCG because of bird trauma). On the other hand, literal horsegirl and riding your girlfriend.

🔮 Because Fearne now has the Spark of Rau'shan, she'd be reborn as a fire genasi. I was planning tiefling previously to keep her horns and a bit of a fire theme, but oh well.

Send an AU (new or established) for 5+ headcanons

[octahedral-chaos]

Have a random story- drabble thing based off of a random idea I have. Basically, solarpunk/ clockwork world with sapient moth-bird-raptor people.

Honestly, she had no idea how she even got in this situation. She was currently at Ms. Rubi's stall, waiting on a few supplies for drawing and other small crafts. Sula nervously twirled her claws, hoping that she haven't done anything that could warrant misunderstanding. She wasn't really the best at social situations, but she couldn't rely on Ashworth to do the shopping and talking all the time.

Sula looked around the gigantic open space that is the local mall. It was mostly small stalls, their lepigriff owners trying to desperately gather any passers-by's attention to show off their stocks. It was mostly crafts, with many stalls selling beads, paintings, suncatchers, tapestries and the like. The mall itself was made of mostly copper, gold and wood, the hues of the walls being a dead giveaway. The ceiling was made of stained glass in varying shades of green, casing a leaf pattern on the floor, almost like the ground of a gigantic forest.

There were also many plants, especially somewhat large trees that were placed in well-decorated 'pots,' although they were really depressions in the ground that was filled with more than enough soil. The building was also multistory, and there were perches scattered around, many of which had lepigriffs resting on it. The air was filled with quiet chatter and clicking of talons against the wooden floors.

Sula haven't realised that she was zoning out until Ms. Rubi have finished packing her order and was giving it to her. "Here you go, sweetheart," Ms. Rubi chimed in her sweet voice, startling Sula from her trance and handing her a fabric bag full of art supplies. Still a bit anxious, Sula took the bag from Ms. Rubi's talons and replied, "Thank you miss. Sorry about that, I zoned out." Ms. Rubi adjusted her glasses, before she spoke, "No problem dear, it's alright." She then waved at Ms. Rubi, before heading back to her room in the nearby apartment.

She glanced around the halls in the apartments, looking for her room number. She never really adjusted to living in apartments, she vividly remembered how her parents had a small shack near the local park, which was somewhat small but still beautiful, with a small stream passing right through it. She finally spotted her room number; 140, up on the second floor. Except there was one problem.

She can't really fly.

She couldn't remember if there were any nearby stairs, and she could ask any of the lepigriffs who were walking around, but she didn't want to seem weird and lead herself to a potentially awkward situation. So she decided the best course of action: she was going to at least try to fly.

With wings outstretched, Sula jumped into the air, flapping her large rusty-red and yellow wings, with eyes locked on to her room. However, it wasn't executed as gracefully as she liked. Instead, she managed to crash-land onto the second floor's wooden panels, her wings sending a great deal of dust and scales everywhere.

She heard of the sound of a door slamming opening, and then was greeted by the sight of Ashworth staring with a concerned look on her face, bright golden-yellow eyes seeming even more comically large. "Are you okay? Have you tried to fly to the second floor again?" Ashworth asked with concern in her voice, talons on hips and tail flicking a little bit. "Yeah, at least I managed to actually get onto the halls this time," Sula replied, already dusting herself from the landing.

"You could've gotten hurt! Next time, please ask someone for directions to the stairs, or something like that!" Ashworth chimed. "Don't worry, I'll try to remember that, plus I managed to get all my supplies without being a nervous wreck!" Sula then continued, holding the bag which somehow managed to not spill any of it's contents during the crash. "That's great, although I guess we should go inside now, and make sure you're okay and all that." Sula sighed, before chuckling, "Okay! Okay, please stop being really concerned, I'm okay now."

[belethlegwen]

The Faerie Spell - Chp 8

Chapter One: Click Here

Previous Chapter: Click Here

Chapter Directory: Click Here

Words: 10,339

Summary: Daphne slowly comes to the realization she isn't dead, but she's in an unfamiliar place with people she doesn't know: A literal nightmare. Who are these people? Where have they taken her? How hurt is she, and how is she going to get home? As she gets help with her injuries, Daphne begins to get a peek at what kind of help and treatment she *needs*, and hasn't been getting.

Content Warning: Blood, mentions of pain and physical injury.

[Major MAJOR thanks to @adjacentperception for the RP that was used to write this chapter, and for the use of their characters and setting <3 You are wonderful.]

Death had more smells than I was expecting. 

Probably should've been my first hint, huh? 

But nope, before anything else hit me-- before any other experience or feeling or thought of the idea of existing had managed to make it's way through my thick skull, smells were what was doing it. 

I mostly just noticed that the overwhelmingly nauseating smell of garbage was suddenly… gone. Everything else in terms of smell was just a game of 'is this better, or it is just less?', which, either way, was a relief of some kind or another. 

That thick skull started to pound as I managed to identify the familiar smell of the pews back in the church at home, and then I realized I probably wasn't actually dead. Only probably, though-- if I had any amount of a body at all, it sure as hell wasn't interested in moving. Maybe I didn't have a body? That'd be a pretty novel experience, honestly. I hated that even body-less though, my head was pounding away like there was a hand inside of it, gripping my brain directly with sharp-nailed fingers. 

It took a moment to figure out what had happened. I had been flying before I crashed into solid concrete. I had been hit by a car-- weird car, lots of colors-- before I had been flying. I had been running before I had been hit by a weird car. I had been-- 

Oh fuck 

I had been grabbed and tossed around by a kid before I had been running.

It wasn’t a car that hit me, it was a foot. 

I was shrunk again, and I was in a lot of fucking danger. 

Or... I mean, I had been in a lot of danger. I was still only probably not-dead right now, so, maybe those were problems that didn't actually matter. Sounds. Sounds were a part of being alive, right? I only just now was tuning into the extreme humming and ringing in my ears. Did I have ears? I still couldn't tell if I had limbs, at this point, so trying to touch my pounding head to see if there were ears on it was out.

Noises were slowly… slowly coming back to me. It was mostly just a droning sound beyond the high-pitched ringing, the pounding of my own pulse— I guess, anyway— putting little hiccups in it. The droning was interesting, changing pitch, changing rhythm, changing volume a little…

I was just finally accepting that I was very probably alive, wondering when the very very slow return of feeling to my limbs would finish happening, when... well... 

To be fair, it was cold. Whatever had touched my face was wet and textured and cold and weird, and considering I had only just come to the full conclusion that when last I left my mortal coil, it was extremely and dangerously tiny, I think I can be forgiven for my reaction to something that my brain immediately told me was the tongue of a rat or a raccoon or a bird or a bug or something trying to eat me. 

Oh hey look, limbs. We have those, might as well flail them, I guess? 

I was screaming-- as much as I could in the moment anyway-- as my voice tried to come back to life, my eyes snapping open blearily and just seeing this... horrifying shape of an inhuman colour coming toward my face again. My legs started kicking to try and scramble away, but I was on something soft that just shifted under my efforts, and all I managed to do was to twist and flop my body onto it's stomach as noises-- massive, indecipherable noises for the first few seconds-- surrounded me. 

Great. Basically deaf, practically blind, and as I tried to reach forward to grab whatever I was on for purchase to launch myself forward and run away, one of my shoulders seized in so much pain that I fell back onto that side with new, more expressive yelling. 

Something shifted, the light above me being blocked out as I fell onto my back, hoping that the pressure of my weight on that shoulder-- on whatever I was lying on-- would ease some of the pain, and all my body could do as I looked hopelessly up was pant through my attempts to process the only things I seemed to know, now: Hurt. 

Hurt, and a giant, unfamiliar face.

Initially, before my focus really came back through the blur of pain and panic, I thought it might be Mak, only because the skin was similar in color; a brown I probably would’ve thought was beautiful if it wasn’t, y’know, the size of a billboard. The hair wasn’t dark enough and… I mean I couldn’t really make a guess on the eyebrows. I never really got to look at Mak’s face much while I was zonked. Knowing now that it was because he was… weirded out is the nicest way to put it, about my whole thing, if I hadn’t already guessed it wasn’t him by the hair, I would’ve guessed the second two gargantuan hands had started to put up a wall around me as I was scrambling around.

Didn’t know how I felt about any of that. Kind of a bummer to have Mak come up at all in my mind, honestly, in the middle of all of this, now that I think about it. Thanks, brain.

The massive, blurry hands coming into focus as they dropped around me were enough to make me yell again, though I wasn't sure if the yelling was the first reaction, or if it was in response to the first reaction of me trying to squirm away again. A lot was happening, ok? Like... you try it and see if you would've done any better. Nowhere to run to, I just lay still again.

Another gargantuan form slid into view over me from somewhere behind. Not like... directly over, thank god, but my eyes jumped up all the same to stare at it and try to determine what the fuck it was doing. God I wish they hadn't. Beyond the big round shades and the messy hair, the guy looked like he had fallen face-first through a barbed-wire and broken glass factory. 

Why did they seem so much bigger right now? Stars, my heart was practically choking me and every rapid beat made my vision go slightly fuzzier as my head pounded more.

The first one, the one with their arms making a wall around me, started talking and between the heavy breaths and my brain screaming two thousand different instructions at me at once, I could barely make out what she was telling me. Somethingsomething, scare, it's fine, not monsters, my eyes shut tightly to try and focus on the words though it just made my panic scream more inside of me to not be watching whatever the hell was happening. 'You're safe, just want to help.' 

I took in a gasping deep breath as yet another voice entered the ringing, exceedingly loud soundscape, and while I was trying to figure out why a ‘sewing kit’ was being talked about I started to realize that everything seemed to be coming from my left. Was my right ear deaf or just... worse than the left one? No idea. 

"Wait, wait--" God, would they even be able to hear me? My voice was wrecked, and I could barely push words out past the pain in my... shit, can everything hurt? I'm pretty sure every single thing was hurt, somehow, especially my ribs. They were the next part of me to wake up to this fun, fresh hell. "Wait, I-- Ah!" 

A shout of pain left me as I tried to sit up to get a better look at what-- and who-- was around me, but my ribs weren't having it. I collapsed back, uselessly, my eyes watering as I stared up at the closest face again. Maybe I should just focus on her until I could work out some actual words, maybe just pretending there's only one person looking at me while I'm like this would make me feel better. 

Blinking caused my whole vision to become an abstract painting. I felt hot tears start streaking down my face. Hahahaha, of course I wouldn't feel better. Great. Fantastic. I should've aimed to fall into the trashcan or something. Death would've been so much simpler than this, right? 

"Sorry, I'm so sorry you have to wake up to this, oh no..."

Her voice was so quiet compared to everything else. Like, it was still big, everything about everything that was happening was big, but… she was trying? The guy with the glasses and the intense scarring dipped back while it was too blurry to see if he was making a face, and I was just… alone, with whoever this was, the memories of that horrid screeching the kid had made, or all of the other noises I had gone through kind of just fading.

"Tell me what you need, it's okay, we're here to help." A deep breath entered me, like I was gasping for it, as her words hit me. There were a lot of questions, but those weren’t as important as everything else my brain was screaming about, apparently.

Do we really have to be crying at a time like this?! I thought to myself, trying to force the damn tears out of my eyes faster with hard, squinting blinks-- my eyelids probably the only part of my body not too hurt to move, honestly. 

I was panting, trying to assess if every part of me was online yet or if I was going to need to expect more pain as other parts woke up. She was waiting... god why did that seem like so much? Why did that feel like the greatest gift in the world that I had managed to stammer out a 'wait' between shouts of pain and that this person listened? If I wasn't so mad about the crying I was already doing, I'd probably do more just for that.

Between the blinks, I saw her moving, getting lower and my stomach did flips at the idea of her coming closer. I don't know why the idea upset me, it was already too late-- this person was extremely aware that I was this pathetic lump of idiot laying on a...

Turning my head only enough to look at what I was on-- whatever primal animal-part of my brain was trying to take over not wanting to take my eyes off of this person in case she... I have no idea. Wanted to eat me? Probably not, I probably looked like shit. I certainly felt like it. Either way-- I turned my head to take in that I was on a green sweater or something, and the other half of my brain that was not trying to consider how fast we'd be able to bite someone if they tried to touch us right now just felt incredibly guilty; there was a damp piece of napkin or paper towel or something that had some blood on it, and as I looked down at my sleeves to assess, it was pretty obvious it had been my blood. This person was trying to help, she was trying to help me and I shouldn't need help, this should never have happened.

"Wh-where am... Where a-am I?" I stammered out, gritting my teeth as I tried to look around what I could see past her incredibly massive form, both of my hands rubbing on the soft clothing I'd been laid on. My voice was pathetically quiet, I knew that, I couldn't summon the energy or the focus to try and shout loud enough for her to hear, and I was trying to restrain as much of the pained shouting as possible. Why did I even start with that question? There was so many more pressing things, but my brain couldn't bring any of them up at the moment to try and prioritize.

One of my hands, stiff and sore, started to try and reach into my pocket, digging for my stone so I could try to talk louder, fingers greeted by whatever remained of my shielding stone, I presumed. Great, finally have pocket-sand on hand and I'm too small and battered to actually use it effectively. Digging further, I just grunted and grimaced with the pain of the movements, trying to fish out anything useful that I might still have.

"You're in a bar. I mean, it's closed right now, there aren't like... people here or anything. Customers. No patrons. Just me and the owners, and we want to help." 

She was so… reassuring? Comforting? Hard to say I fully felt either of those things in the moment, but it was definitely something that was helping immensely in the meantime.

Trying to curl my fingers enough to scrape out the stones was proving too hard, and I'll be honest-- the fact the woman seemed to be able to hear me well enough without it seemed like a blessing. Thank god it was quiet here, in--

"A bar?" I choked out, trying to sit up as another wave of panic came over me. I managed to get myself propped up on my least-janked elbow this time, at least, so I wasn't completely flat, but my heart felt like it was going to be the straw that breaks the camel's ribs as it took a moment to calm down, even as I focused on the information that she had given me that it was at least a closed bar. 

I didn’t even really flinch too much as this giant woman’s hand slid in from behind somewhere and pressed fingers lightly to my back. It was too much of a relief to pass up, though I couldn’t bring myself to really lean my weight against it fully out of fear it was some kind of trap.

My eyes managed to catch a glimpse of the other two gigantic strangers from around her fingertips as she mentioned them, but that primal rat-brain panic-mode was still telling me to keep watching her, and what she was doing, as the most immediate threat.

"My name is Zora, so you don't have to think of me as a stranger. Could you please tell us where you're hurt, or do you need another minute?"

I just stared for a while, trying to click into what she was saying. "Zora?" I asked, trying to manage enough energy to shout and just flinching from the effort. Did she look like a ‘Zora’? Her hair was short, wild and styled, and she had piercings in her nose and an eyebrow. One of her earrings kept catching the light when she moved. I shook my head quickly, getting back on track. "I... shoulder is bad... just feels hot and I can't like... move it very much? Ribs also bad, this whole general--" I used what limited movement I had of my bad arm to gesture at the whole front of my torso, taking a moment to pant from the effort. "I'm Daphne," I tried to speak slowly so I hopefully wouldn't have to repeat, or try to shout again.

"Daphne. I'm glad to meet you Daphne,” she hummed, nodding along and repeating what I said quietly. It took me a second to clue in— literally until she looked at them— that she was doing it for the other people in the bar and not for me. "Okay, hot shoulder doesn't want to move, ribs aren't feeling great, general much pain all over."

I heard the other two start moving and doing things behind me… I think one of them left the room, but I was too busy focusing on Zora.

"You were in the stairwell,” she said quietly, “or that's where I found you. I have no idea how you got there, but I can't imagine it could have been easy." I watched her wince as she thought about it. ‘Oh you have no idea,’ I thought. "I don't want to crowd you, but I also don't want you to hurt yourself more, so my hand is behind you if you need to lean back on it.”

'Stars, am I smaller than usual?' I kept thinking as the presence of her hand just kept setting my cardio into a state like I was Usain Bolt or something. It didn't look much bigger? Was it just because it's a different hand? One I don't know? Was it because the last hand that had touched me damn near killed me? I had a thought to just fall back on it after she had moved it there. It was tempting, god I could use it, but that stupid rat-panic brain was still envisioning us touching it and the thing snapping closed around us like a bear trap, crushing us.

I didn't even have a shield spell anymore. What would that even feel like now? How fast would I break? I--

'She's just trying to help, she's just trying to help, she's just trying to help...'

Yeah, sure, toss a mantra or something in here. Maybe that'll help. My brain was just throwing things at the wall at this point to see if anything would stick. 

 "I was kicked," I stammered out. I don't know why I needed to say it, why I was compelled to tell this woman what happened, but... there it was. "They didn't see me, they-- it just... happened."

Her massive face winced again, sympathy all over her face. "I'm so sorry you went through that. That's terrible and should never have happened." She said softly. God, I felt like such an idiot for having this happen and having to bother this woman with it, and everything else. She was being so kind; she had no idea how this all happened.

The pain of it all was making me just want to hide somewhere. Disappear until I was big enough to walk out of here and either take myself to a hospital or throw myself in a river, whichever came first. I don’t know if it was because she saw I was spiraling or anything, but she spoke again and took my mind out of it. At least… for a little bit.

“My friends are good people, they're already working on helping us out here, okay? Do you need us to call someone for you?”

I grunted through pain as my hand went instinctively to check my pockets, patting them, my eyes finally tearing away from the woman to look around me. I didn't have my phone. It wasn't here. It had been in my hand and then I got kicked, so it could be anywhere, smashed into dust with no one even able to tell what it might've been.

And who? Who would I call? My family? They still had no idea this was a fuckin' thing with me, I refused to tell them! I was supposed to have this cured or broken or whatever months ago now and they were never supposed to find out about it. Sheridan? Absolutely not, she'd tell Gem, who was also very much a 'no, never' right now because I could only imagine the reaming I would get from her. No, no way, I couldn't let either of them know. Mak wanted nothing to do with me like this. That left Cal, and I-- oh my god I don't know anyone's number.

All of their numbers were just... in my phone, I had never memorized any number but my own and my job!

It had happened without me even realizing, my body leaning back until it had made contact with one of her fingers, and it was just kind of... automatic from there. Her fingers moved closer, pressing me up. My body sagged from the relief of not having to try and hold myself up on limbs and ribs that, for all I fuckin' knew, would've hurt less if they had been broken. 

"I don't... I can't call an-anyone..." I choked out, tears already coming out like I'd turned on a faucet. "I l-lost my ph-phone, and-- I don't know a-anybody's n-number..."

"It's okay, it's going to be totally okay." She cooed, fingers twitching around me, like they wanted to wrap tighter or hold me up more but wouldn’t. 

She was so gentle. 

She was so gentle, and that just made this all so much... harder to handle, honestly.

She was gentle and she cared, and my brain was telling me right now that she was the only person I knew who would be like this with me, after I had been such a colossal fucking moron.

You know that feeling when you start to cry, and you really, really don't want to be crying over whatever it is you're crying about? Or when you're crying about it? Or where you're crying about it? Or who you're crying in front of? And you know how that all compiles and just makes you cry harder and want to crawl into a hole and die? 

There was a moment, right when I started to bawl my eyes out, where I felt like that was going to happen. Where my stupid panicked brain, splintered into a thousand different stupid voices all trying to tell me different things and all but the stupid rat-brain getting drowned out in the confusion and the headache and everything else, wanted to do nothing but scream and thrash and go run until I found a crawlspace where no one could reach me and I could just cry until this was all over. 

But when I realized that her fingers weren't snapping shut around me... 

...when I realized that they weren't disgusted by me and wanting to get away from me...

...when I realized that they were just there, supporting me, the way I needed without trying to just do what they thought I needed, then it really hit me that I was safe. 

So, I just let myself cry. She let me cry, soothing me quietly-- as quietly as she could-- and just telling me everything was going to be ok. I had every reason to believe it wasn't going to be ok; I was an idiot, after all, and I'd manage to fuck up everything for everyone already this much and the day probably wasn't even over yet, but... something about the way she said it made me actually kind of believe it. 

Zora didn't know me. Zora had no idea what a moron I was, but I don't know... I didn't want to argue with her and tell her she was wrong or anything. She was being so nice, and she had no reason to be. I could've just been left, but she decided to let me fuck up her day too.

That felt like it should be worth at least me not arguing with her... at least for a moment. 

"We'll circle back around to the calls, for now we're gonna get you cleaned up and put back together alright? It's gonna be fine," she continued to soothe me while I just… sobbed. Her eyes glanced up to someone somewhere behind me, and I heard another woman whisper something but was too wrecked to try and turn around and watch.

"Is everything okay?" The stranger was asking.

"She lost her phone. No idea where it is." Zora whispered in reply.

"You said you found her by the bins?"

"Yeah, but she was kicked down from the street by someone who didn't see her, so there's no telling."

"I'll take a look,” the unknown woman said before suddenly she was leaning into my periphery to put something on the… I guess the bar, that I was on top of. A glass vial most of the size of my body. "I'm going to tell Arthur we don't need the ice. We thought we were out, but this is the stuff you can just rub on the spot to numb it out."

"Oooo" Zora grinned, "We love that stuff here. Thank you Madge."

Madge. I had a Great Aunt named Madge, rest her soul. Everyone always called her the family weirdo and ever since I was young, I always kind of wanted to be the next Great Aunt Madge on the family tree. This woman was obviously much younger, and still very much alive, but something about the way her smile had tugged up one side of her mouth more than the other made me feel like if she wasn't 60-odd feet tall, I'd really really like her.

God it was so nice to be around quiet people, holy shit. Even aside from the screaming banshee hell-spawn child that waved me like a flag earlier, nobody ever bothered to whisper around me before. While I was wiping the snot and tears off of my face, Madge  locked eyes with me a moment as she nodded, the wall of hand still doing a good job of making me feel safe, protected. 

Also warm, which I very much appreciated. 

Madge slipped away and I could kind of make out what she was saying to Arthur-- I guess the guy with the uh... the face from earlier-- if I focused hard enough, but mostly I just turned my sniffling, sore face back to Zora as she fiddled with the bottle with her free hand. I was finally getting to the 'everything-is-less-jarringly-huge' stage of my Small Self Bullshit, but it was still hard for me not to fixate on her working with the thing. 

"Madge is good at finding stuff,” the voice just above me got my attention again as I wiped at my eyes more. “I spent an hour looking for an earring once and she found it within five minutes of me asking for help." 

Zora smiled, using her free hand to uncork the bottle and glance inside, "You okay with using this, or would you prefer the ice? I personally love the cold goo, but I know not everyone is happy and willing to just apply random potions to their skin."

Fucking hell. A potion? A real-ass magic potion? Normally I'd say no, normally I'd prefer to be like... a trip-sitter and see how everyone else handled a 'potion' first before I dove in, but I was less than six-inches tall and bawling my eyes out in a bar with a bunch of strangers and I was very, very hurt. 

Also, ice sounded horrible. Rat-brain told me if I had ice put on me, they'd harvest my organs. 

Me and rat-brain are not friends. 

"I... yeah, I, um..." I stammered, sniffling myself stupid as the crying finally started to slow down a little. My head felt better, at least. The release really did help a lot, though something told me I might actually be far from done. "I don't think things can get much worse than this, so... so long as it doesn't make me smaller, I'll be fine." 

Couldn't even bring myself to laugh. Guess my head wasn't feeling better enough for a joke. Oh well.

"I can promise you, they wouldn't keep a shrinking potion in the first aid box. This'll just numb the area you rub it in. Keeps it cold, helps with inflammation without having to hold an ice pack." Zora chattered quietly, using one hand to tip the little vial onto the end of her finger, a small bit of light silvery blue goo oozing out onto the digit.

"It looks like toothpaste," I blurted out, though almost as a mutter as it wound up on her finger. It was a bit more watery than toothpaste? But just barely. The chatting was actually helping calm me down more than I probably would've wanted to admit. Explaining what the goo was gonna do to me also helped. She put the vial aside carefully and then went right back to helping me. It just… it seemed so natural to her. It reminded me of how I used to think of Gem, for a flash, before she distracted me out of that particular bubble of thoughts.

"Here, let me know if you need help with any of it. I've used this stuff on people here more times than I can count at this point." She offered, holding the little blob out for me. "It takes a few minutes to settle in, so you've got time to get it off of your hands before they go cold, and we've still got the wet napkin handy."

My eyes moved again to the damp napkin with my blood on it, shuddering a little.

"Sorry about that by the way, that probably wasn't a nice way to wake up. We were just trying to clean you off and figure out what we could do."

"I... didn't know I was bleeding," I said, looking down at my sleeves and seeing the tear-watered stains on them faintly. It looked like she had gotten most of it before I woke up, and touching my face I found my nose was tender and my lip had definitely been split. Great, must've landed on my face. Bet I looked stellar right now. I sighed and nodded, trying to flash a smile as I focused on her saying that they were just trying to clean me up. "Thanks," I managed, trying not to show my disappointment as I thought back to how great I had felt after getting a haircut. 

It was just a stupid haircut. Why did I have to take this stupid gamble for a stupid haircut? 

I stared down the blue goo and nodded to myself. Couldn't be worse than this, right?

Again, I felt like I could trust her. It was... it was nice to have something to cling to, honestly, and I think that might've been the whole deal. It wasn't that I believed her because there was a lot of reason to, I just needed to have something to keep me afloat instead of going completely rat-brain, and trusting someone else was a good place to start on that. 

Leaning away from the fingers behind me was rough enough, but as I tried to figure out where I'd need to put the goo, I realized it was the least of my problems in the immediate moment. Slowly I started to try and work my way out of my jacket, and honestly? Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Between the pathetic grunting and the urge to cry, I managed to get my bad arm out but couldn't use that arm to help me shrug off the rest.

"I don't... I don't want to bug you..." I managed to grunt out, looking up at her and her very, very concerned face. The words died in my throat, and I just kind of vaguely turned my body as much as I could to let the coat hang off of me. 

Not going to lie, this was one of my nightmares. Like, literally-- since this stupid bullshit had happened with this stupid faerie, the idea that I'd be picked up and handled like a doll and stripped was something that would have me wake up sweating in the middle of the night. Especially since that shit with Gem. My stomach was preemptively rolling at the idea as her hand started to move, and I fought the urge to close my eyes simply because I'd rather be aware of what was happening to me. 

I can't describe the relief; the absolute rush of almost elation as her fingers pinched the coat-- just the coat-- and just kind of... held it for me while I wiggled out. Once the tiny jacket was in her hands, it seemed like without even thinking about it Zora used the fingers of her free hand to fold it, setting it delicately to the side when finished.

I'm so glad she didn't know what kind of a person I was. Glad she didn't know what kind of massive, stupid idiot I was. It was nice to be treated like someone who deserved this level of just... gentleness? No, beyond that. It was like she trusted me to just... know what I needed. 

"Thank you," I said, louder than I had been now that I was feeling just a little more put-together, and I didn't want her to get sick of like, straining to hear me or whatever. 

"You don't need to shout." She stated simply, tilting her head to the side and using her pinky to point towards her ears, the cold little blob still at the end of her finger. I watched such a massive, fluid motion and shivered, feeling pathetic that this was still just... shit I wasn't used to. Would it have been better if I was used to this by now? I had been intentionally trying not to feel like this shit was normal, I didn't want it to be normal but now it just made me feel worse and worse. I blushed, hoping my shouting didn't come off as rude. 

 "I've got really good hearing, there's no need to worry about that,” she continued. “I haven't had trouble this entire time." She slid her hand back toward me with the blob extended, and I caught myself staring at her. I blushed so much I felt a bit dizzy. I was so caught up in the idea that someone was just... handling me (ugh) but not like... staring at me like I was a toy or a weird bug or something like Gem and Cal did, that I didn't really pick up on how I was just kind of... zoned-in on her face so intensely. I went back to dealing with the goo and my bruises as best as I could, feeling a little guilty about taking up so much of her time with how slow I was going.

I had just been wearing a tanktop underneath the jacket, which was good for needing to smear magic goo all over me I guess, but also showed me exactly how red my shoulder and arm was, and how bruised it was starting to get. Jesus, I felt like the last apple at the grocery store. 

"I'm sorry if I ruined your day."

The words just kind of fell out of me as I dipped my fingers into a god damn magic potion and moved to lean my less-hurt side against her hand again while it was here, spreading it with some pained and uncomfortable grunts over the shoulder and under the back of the tank top. "I... I really didn't think this was gonna happen, today, and I just... I'm sorry."

"You haven't ruined my day at all." She said quickly, nearly cutting off my apology as her eyes went wide and her eyebrows began to knit together, "It's not like I'm pressed, I was only here to pick up a check for working last week. Even if I had big plans though, I still wouldn't consider helping someone to be something that ruins my day. I'm more than happy to assist, and I can safely say the same for my friends." The hand behind me straightened a bit, and I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not but it gave me the support I needed to help me reach certain angles with less strain, but she was still careful not to jostle or move me too much. 

"Please don't be sorry. You need help. Everyone needs it sometimes. I'm more than happy to offer mine, however you might need it."

"Yeah, but--" I stuttered out, taking more of the goo and finishing smearing it as far as I could reach on my shoulder, knowing it was just... all over my shirt and my bra. "I... I'm glad you want to help, but you shouldn't need to. This shouldn't have happened and I shouldn't have done any of this." 

Waterworks were building up again, god, this day though. I lifted my shirt and started to smear the potion on my abs, hoping to warm it up before I put it on the very, very sore ribs, as much as I could reach. I grunted and-- unintentionally-- leaned back a bit more against her hand. I was happy it was here. I was happy that she was here, doing all of this for me, but... I don't know, my brain also turned to Gem a bit? Like, I was so happy to be treated so much more gently by Gem and then it just kind of became... weird. 

Was this woman going to resent me for getting all of this help if I wasn't going to give her what she wanted after? At least she didn't seem like... fixated on me, outside of the concern, which was a nice change if I really really had to be honest about it. I guess that's why I felt I should be honest about my own stupidity. "This is all my fault."

"I doubt that very much."

Well, shit.

I don’t know if I had ever had someone disagree with me so nicely before. I honestly don’t know if, in the entirety of my whole life, if anyone had just been this kind to me before when I needed it like this. I was sniffling like a pathetic little baby and this person, despite how weird this whole situation had to be, was just… helping like it was the only thing they knew how to do.

"No one does anything with the intention of getting kicked through the air,” her voice continued as I went about the continued smearing, blinking back tears with red and sore eyelids. “I imagine you would avoid that scenario if you could. In any case, should vs. shouldn't really doesn't mean a lot. It did happen, you need help, you deserve it as much as anyone else. That doesn't equate to a burden."

I took the edge of the napkin as she nudged it toward me while she spoke, letting me wipe my hands off as I opened my mouth to try and reply to her. "You're really good at this," I said, probably a bit bluntly. It was true-- she was really good at making me feel less like I was bothering her, at the very least, though I was still pretty set on the fact that this never would've happened if I had just followed the plans everyone had made for me and didn't take such a stupid risk for a bit of fun. Fun and freedom. And a really good coffee-- god, I wish I hadn't spilled that coffee.

"Thanks, I have no idea what I'm doing." Zora laughed while she recorked the bottle of magic potion. The laugh was quiet, like she was really trying her hardest to hold it back. I actually laughed myself at the admission. I suppose that might explain it; she hadn't grabbed me, or seemed comfortable with just doing what needed to be done with me. I guess that was the kind of shit that came with familiarity of dealing with this sort of stuff. 

I appreciated it. If that was the case, god I hope she never got an idea of what she was doing. I liked this, for all the horrible shit that was surrounding it.

I was going to elaborate as I rolled my shirt back down, when the sounds of someone reentering the room caught my attention. The guy with the scarred face was making an exit, or... he was going to, before I guess his wife stopped him. 

"Where do you think you are going?" Madge asked.

"Jasper's putting some medicine together for us." Arthur responded simply, the deep quality of his voice would’ve probably made it impossible for him to ever actually whisper, but I could tell he was trying to be quiet. "I was going to run over to grab it." 

"No, no no no you are not." Madge chattered, and I could see her shaking her head and nudging his arm to turn him back towards the bar. "You'll get over there and talk to Jasper for 45 minutes before you remember there was a reason you were going. You do this every time."

Arthur was already grumbling some sort of muttered response to her, but he didn't ultimately argue with her.

"Give this to her,” Madge instructed, handing him something. “Be incredibly careful with it. Six steps from the corner. I'll be back in a mo'." And just like that, within the span of a second, Madge was already spinning around and whooshing out the door and up unseen stairs with rapid, echoing footsteps while Arthur lumbered back over to where he had been directed, palm out and ready.

"Special delivery. No tip necessary." His voice was flat, not necessarily loud but with a timber that sent a shiver up my spine from this close. He rested the back of his hand on the counter, sliding it forward until Zora intercepted.

"You are most appreciated. I'm sorry you don't get to play with Jasper today." Zora laughed, delicately taking something out of his palm and placed what was, unmistakably, my phone next to me. My hands picked it up, multiple cracks across the screen, and trying to press any buttons seemed to elicit no response. I didn't know if the screen was broken, if the battery was dead, or if the whole thing was toast and I felt like I was curling in on myself a bit as the realization of how well and truly I had fucked up started to set in.

"Eh. He'll be around after he closes up tonight," Arthur shrugged, as the two of them continued to banter above me. "Need anything?"

"We might need a drink here shortly. Standby." Zora smiled, redirecting her attention back to me for the moment and squinting her eyes at the busted shape of my phone. Obviously, it was too small for her to tell what was up. "Is that it? Is it alright?"

I shifted uncomfortably as Arthur drummed his fingers on the wooden surface I was on, the sound and feeling making me jump. I didn’t know how to feel about the fact that he seemed… notably blind? Is that the nicest way to say that? I was glad Zora was here to keep his attention, and only kind of glad he probably couldn’t see what kind of a state I was in. I was considering mentioning the finger drumming being a bit much— I mean, neither of them likely knew it was huge to me, or anything— when he suddenly ducked out of view, I guess getting something from under the bar.

"It's uh..." I stammered, looking up at her. "I don't know if it's broken or the battery is dead. What... what time is it?"

Zora whipped out her own phone, unlocking it as her eyes danced around the screen as it shone some light up at her features.  "We're at about 3 o'clock,” she said, and I felt my mouth open a little as it went slack.

Three fucking PM. 

"Oh god I was... I was out for hours," I breathed, cold chills coming over me. My hand slipped in to fetch my two remaining stones and came back out covered in glittery sand. The loud-stone was still bright and I could feel something with it, but the minor invisibility stone-- opaque white quartz-- had gone from bright white to a dull, dreary gray and felt almost... not cold but dead? Does that make sense? Was I just imagining that because I knew it was out of magic or mana or charge or whatever? 

"Zora," came the flat, muffled voice of Arthur from below the counter, making my jaw snap shut again and my body tense with a pained grunt. It was then that the magic goo started to really hit, and I was happy it did. The cold, numbing feeling was very needed. "Which set does your friend need?" 

"Which set..." Zora muttered quietly to herself, her eyes dashing up and away from her phone while she thought. "Oh! Oh, box three is probably about right."

"Got it. Thank you," he replied, followed by the sound of cardboard scooting around below like he was casually just moving boulders around.

Set? Box three? 

Probably surgical tools to harvest my organs. 

I shook my head with an annoyed grunt I hoped neither of them could hear. Fuck off, rat-brain. We're fine.

Zora’s eyes had moved back to her phone when it seemed like an idea had struck her. "Do you remember any logins for like... social media, messenger app, anything? Do you think that could work?"

I shoved the dead invisibility stone back into my pocket but kept the loud-stone out and not activated if only to use as a worrystone for the time being as Zora asked for my logins. Oh god yes, I knew my passwords-- it was so risky to try and like, stick those on notes around. 

"Yeah, yeah, I can log in to basically everything. I'm good with password memorization, I do individual salts for each login on a pretty long base-- I work in CompSec." 

...Why did we tell her that? Why was that suddenly a brag? God damn it, brain. Don't make me let rat-brain back in here, rat-brain wouldn't brag about our stupid boring deskjob.

Embarrassing info-dump aside, I could see the giant woman brighten significantly at the news that I could log into my stuff. She started tapping away on her phone screen, and before my pounding head could piece together what exactly was going on, she turned the thing around for me, propping it up. 

"Log in to whatever, tell me if you need help. I don't you to strain anything further with sweeping arm movements, and I can promise you my memory is garbage enough to never remember whatever you tell me to type in."

She smiled at me, and I felt such a wave of like… hope. Arthur had reemerged from underneath me and was rooting around in a box, but I was busy pushing myself to stand.

You know what's dumb? How comforting a phone the size of myself was. God. I managed to push myself to my feet with a few grunts and took a second to catch my breath before approaching it and starting to tap away on the screen. 

This. This I was used to. 

I pulled up the messenger app, using a few extra seconds between a few letter-smacks to rest and to also just... hesitate. It's 3pm. If Cal swung by the apartment before they went to work, or if Sheridan decided to take an early exit for the afternoon, they might already know that I was gone. I mean... car was gone. They'd know I had dodged out. Someone would've tried to message me maybe, might've tried to call me... 

Shit. If it was Cal, or if someone had flagged Cal, they had access to my Find My Phone services. They might've tried to ping it, maybe they had gotten a read on the area I was in before the phone died? God... if I logged in now and they were actively looking for me I'd be fucking in for it. So, I felt it best to take it slow with the typing. 

"Seeing as you work CompSec, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that this isn't an always thing for you," Zora muttered gently to me from above, her eyes drifting back down to meet with mine. I blushed a little, nodding. 

"Yeah," I admitted, shifting my weight on my legs. They were... well, they were less hurt than the rest of my body. Sore and bruised around the knees obviously, but... y'know. "This is a... uh... relatively new development, for me. Three months, off and on. Guess it's pretty obvious that this isn't... normal, hey?" 

Might as well fess up to some of this. I mean... they had potions, probably weren't totally out of the loop on magic stuff and curses. What were those things I was supposed to say did this? Curse Bitches? Curse Hags? 

"You'll have to tell me if this looks okay,” Arthur’s voice interrupted me as he held something up for Zora to try and look at. I couldn’t make it out from here and just went back to typing in my login. 

"You've got it my man,” she had replied.

"Water. If you need it." The bartender's voice almost made me duck, I just hadn't been paying attention while I was lost in App UI. “I can get you something stronger but.. yknow. Something something, hydration is key.” Shivers came up my spine as his hand slid closer and closer until it bumped the hoodie, then he lifted up a glass of water. Just... a regular glass. A regular glass for me, anyway.

"Thanks," I said, almost in awe as I took it, looking the thing over. It was... basically perfect. God, it was cold, and fuck, did you know bodies need water? Apparently my ass had forgotten. I chuckled at the offer of something stronger. "I might take you up on it once I'm a bit more sure I don't have like, a frontal-lobe bleed or something happening," I replied, looking up at him just in case he could see me. I didn't want to be rude. "I hope you're ok with small bills." 

A chuckle bubbled up in Arthur at the 'small bills' comment, deep and low and caught in his throat, though still perceptible in its reverberations. I smiled as wide I could manage with my lip busted, the barkeep seemed like an alright guy, despite the pretty cool demeanor. Maybe it was because I was standing and felt-- don't laugh-- bigger, but I was feeling a lot better about this situation despite, y'know, The Horrors.

"Don't worry about that." He chuckled with a gargantuan wave of his hand, moving now to get Zora a similar glass of water. "We're not here to exploit someone in a situation for needing a stiff drink." 

"Even if they weren't going to cover you, I would have you taken care of." Zora nodded, her hand still stiff on its side behind me.

"Listen, you don't have to foot any bills, this is more than enough," I said, finally finishing my email address and moving on to the twenty-four character password, Christ why do I do this to myself? "Besides, you don't know, maybe I'm an expensive drunk." 

I hoped my laugh didn't sound as nervous as it actually was as I tried to cover my worries regarding what might be waiting for me beyond the login screen with humor. I took a moment a few characters in-- I had to alternate to the numbers and special characters keyboard, and varying amounts of capital letters-- to step back and just lean against Zora's hand again. It was still there, just waiting, and I figured she was being nice enough about it, it seemed awkward if I kind of just ignored it. 

I couldn't tell if it might be like, cologne or something she put on her wrist, or if she had some kind of lotion... maybe it was just a really nice soap? Her hands smelled nice. 

Hey, look, I found the new weirdest thing I could notice about a person. This stupid curse was a fresh hell every single moment, huh? I made the easy decision to never say it out loud as she offered genuine sympathy for my stupid condition. I took another drink of water.

I was going to comment on it. I was going to just straight up say it was nice to have a glass my size. 

Then I realized what it obviously meant. 

Beyond just... magic potions in the first aid kit, this place was obviously the kind of bar that might cater to uh... well. 

They might know a guy who's neck I wanna wrap my hands around and squeeze. 

Probably not the best time to bring that up, though.

I continued to type, taking breaks to let the throbbing in my hand and shoulder subside a little before going back for more. Above me, Zora looped back around to my earlier comments.

"Three months of sporadic shifting sounds like an intense pain," she said. "It's only really obvious in that you have a phone and don't seem to have wings or pointed ears or... anything else that would set you apart from just being a human person. Well, that and that you probably hadn't planned your day around ending up in a footpath." 

"I'd be way less mad about it if I had wings as a trade-off," I muttered with a dark chuckle, moving back to hammer in the rest of the password. "Shifting is probably a better word for it. Me and my friends call it zonking, it happens kinda fast. I didn't know there was like, a term for it." 

"Mm, the words we use are important." Zora nodded, being pretty polite about but it still watching me punch in letters kind of intently. I guess I couldn’t blame her, Cal and Gem also loved watching me do things. "Zonk feels like a shot fired at you. Something that yanks you down and keeps you there. Shifting would imply that it's a state of being you go back and forth between. It probably feels more like the former, but language used will eventually shift your perspective."

Arthur's voice caught my attention fully as I slapped the log-in button, only remembering afterwards that it probably was disrespectful to do that to someone else's phone. 

"We've got a few people who kick around here with similar problems." Arthur added in, sliding a frosty tumbler of water over to Zora, the vibrations and movement causing me to tense and shiver. "I mean, different reasons as to why they have those problems, but same general flavor none the less. Either way, you're welcome to join the Set 3 club if you want." 

"A few?" I asked, blurting it out as the rumble of the glass of water sent another shiver up my spine. He had good aim at least, for a blind guy. "I... I had no idea anyone else had ever gone through something like this." 

Shit, maybe they really didn't have this glass for faeries or whatever. Maybe there were people dealing with bullshit like me! Maybe there's a whole damn support group of Completely Innocent People Victimized by Faerie Bullshit just hanging out in this bar on the reg! 

"Are you really trying to businessman yourself into having a new regular?" Zora was kind of scolding him.

"Never in my life," He responded flatly, unamused by the implication, "-but I can understand the value of knowing there's a place out there with a chair ready for me if I need it." 

I had no idea how to take the information, honestly, but I didn’t have a lot of time to try and make a road map to what I wanted to say before Arthur seemed to clue into what I had said.

 "Wait, you didn't know anyone else went through things like this?" He asked, head tilting a slight as he considered that idea. "Shrinking and variations thereof is like.... there are a good number of curses that will have that in as an element if not the main show. I'm not saying you see it every day but we've got.... what... maybe three? ..Is it three?" 

"Four if you count that temporary thing that happened to Yancey,” Zora chimed in.

"I don't. He got over that quickly, but... yeah he was happy for set three." Arthur chuckled, "It's not a formal club though, I think only two of them even know each other."

"We could put you in touch if you needed someone to talk to." Zora added in, "Knowing people who are similarly afflicted can be a real godsend.”

I stared up between Arthur and Zora as the little spinning loading wheel kept doing it's thing alongside me, my neck benefiting greatly from all the cold magic goo I smeared on it earlier. "It... I mean... if there's a club of people who have to deal with this horseshit, yeah I'll happily sign up. He can businessman me into being a regular all he wants, though I might need to look into carpooling." 

“Welcome to Nakahara’s Cellar, then,” he replied flatly but with a faint hint of a smile. I smiled back, even if he couldn’t see it, and then the thought really slammed into me.

"Aw, shit," I swore, groaning loudly. "My car. Oh damn, she's not getting home today." Poor BillTron was sitting in the work car garage-- at least it was free parking, I guess?-- and the keys were about 12 times too small for the ignition. Damn it. "I'll need to find a way back downtown once I'm not small anymore and--" 

The sudden, aggressive vibrating of the giant phone next to me sent me jumping back against Zora's hand with a gasp and a few uncomfortable grunts of the force of the, admittedly soft, impact. 

My absence from the apartment had uh... been noted.

"I am... I am so sorry about that. I'm usually so much better at leaving the thing on mute,” Zora said, her own voice sounding like it was coming down from the fright of the phone going off as well as her arm reached over me carefully, the other hand curling around me protectively as she muted the phone entirely.

"Explains a lot." Arthur muttered, prompting a snap and unseen point response from Zora.

"Are you always this wildly popular or... is it to do with the obvious?" Zora asked me.

I stared at the screen from the comfort of her hand, not even really aware that I was just... letting it hold me like that. If I had had a moment to get my senses about it, I might've realized that I was being super awkward to her or something, but instead I just... stared. 

The notifications just kept rolling one after the other as this phone dealt with the new log in and trying to catch up. The group chat had 47 new messages, I had dozens in each of the individual chats from Cal, Sheri and Gem-- Cal and Gem really racing for the top there, apparently-- and even had a handful of messages from Mak, which was... I think it might've been the first time Mak's ever private messaged me outside of a group chat. 

"It's... uh... I--" 

I felt myself just sinking back into her hand more, my legs just wanting to give out underneath me. They were pissed. They were already pissed and they were going to be so much more pissed when they found out what happened.

 I didn't even want to go back to the phone to read any of the messages, the short couple-of-word previews were... more than enough. 

"I... didn't tell anyone I was going out today," I managed to admit after rattling my tongue uselessly around my mouth for a little while. My mouth had had no interest in forming any words and my mind didn't seem to want to try and let our thoughts out. 

For a second, anyway. 

Then... 

"I didn't think-- It's been months and I really didn't feel like I needed to because normally this doesn't happen again so fast after the curse ends and I thought I had at least some days before this happened again, but I just-- It only ended this morning, I should've had time! I should've been able to just go get my haircut," I started blurting out, staring at the stupid bubble icons of my friends' faces and the stupid meme we had used for the groupchat like they were all about to start yelling at me personally.

"I should've had time to be able to just go out and be normal and not need some babysitter who doesn't even want to deal with me or something and this-- and I know! I know it happened anyway! I know I fucked up but like... I thought I could have just like, one day, you know? But they-- they don't get it they don't know what this is like, they all just feel annoyed-- I know it!-- they're all annoyed that they have just deal with this and they don't even think about how bad it actually is."

 I reached up to wipe tears away out of instinct, only to find they weren't there. Maybe I was finally done, maybe I was finally out. 

"The fucking bastard that did this to me better be choking," I snapped bitterly, stepping forward to switch myself to 'appear offline' as fast as I could before they all saw me online. They were apparently out looking? Or at least Cal was. Cal's message preview mentioned something about 'heading there as soon as...' so I could only assume. 

My body sagged, eyes finally dropping to the bartop as I wrapped my arms around myself. I had had so many questions and so many other things to ask. For a brief, beautiful flash, the idea that these people might know something or actually know somebody who might know anything about what I'm going through and could maybe help... hell, even knowing this place might be someplace I could come even if this happened again?? 

But now I was staring at the static faces and one dumbass pixelated meme of the people who were going to spend the next eon yelling at me about what an idiot I was. 

And I felt like I deserved it.

-------

[apocketfullofstones]

The Mandalorian s3 e4 Review

I don't know how, but the show got even worse. I made a list of everything I had a problem with while watching the newest episode and put it all together into a cohesive essay for you guys. (This is a long one btw)

Spoiler Alert!!!

So chapter 20 was basically filler, but can I just point out exactly how stupid the plot of the episode is.

First, when Paz's kid initially gets taken by big bird we are told that the Mandalorians were already fully aware of the creature that was flying around (because they mentioned that others had been taken) but, even knowing that they were vulnerable to attack, they didn't bother setting up sentries or keeping a keen eye on the kids? Or how about just finding a safer spot to train since that beach has been attacked on two separate occasions now, both incidents having plenty of close brushes with death. But, no. They just stand around and let their precious little foundlings be carried off by a danger that should have been brutally executed after the very first attack. No wonder they're almost extinct, they're so fucking stupid.

Then, Bo-Katan says she followed the creature back to it's nest and then she just... came back to the covert? Like, why didn't she take care of it then, while she was there? But whatever, what do I know.

She and the Armorer round up a team and the way that they go about planning the attack irks me. The reason why they didn't just assume that the kid was already dead and just plan the entire excursion around getting rid of the pest now that they knew where it's dwelling was is beyond me. I find that, if they would've changed the stupidly optimistic rescue mission to a revenge plot, it would've been much more believable and interesting because then we'd get to see what they do to anyone or anything who hurts their foundlings.

And then, if they really wanted to, the writers could introduce the fact that the kid is still alive as a kind of surprise or something instead of his survival just being expected. Besides, having the Mandalorians just assume that the kid is still alive is dumb and unrealistic because the writing had already set up the episode with the narrative that the creature kills every Mandalorian it gets it's claws into.

So then the team takes Bo-Katan's ship and get as close to the base of the mountain as they can before walking the rest of the way in order to avoid losing the element of surprise. They get there by nightfall and then they actually SET UP CAMP. I am honestly floored. They chose to wait a whole 12 hours (at the very least) before going into the nest, and now it's just insane that any of the Mandalorians could possibly think -after over 20 fucking hours- that the kid is still alive.

Din sees a heat signature in the nest, but conveniently doesn't mention that the blob is way too big to be the kid -since the three chicks revealed to be in the nest are fucking huge and that would translate to their heat signature size- and Paz recklessly climbs in while yelling for the boy. Wow. We went from Din and his people being established as thriving, tactical badasses in the first two seasons to all Mandalorians becoming useless, floundering idiots.

The writers really went and ruined an entire fucking race in just one 30 minute episode. Now that's impressive.

The babies freak out and the creature shows up again and spits up the kid which it had apparently swallowed (okay, how the hell did this kid survive being in its stomach for god knows how long? And how is he even conscious?). Meaning that the creature had flown back to its nest, did nothing?, swallowed the kid whole at one point and left again, then conveniently came back right as the Mandalorians get there. What? That timeline makes absolutely zero sense.

Then a chase happens and Din ends up saving the child and killing the creature by proxy when he sends it careening into the water and it gets eaten. But when they return, somehow Bo-Katan is the one to get all the glory? Even though her plan went to shit beacuse they got impatient and sloppy and they were forced to improvise? What? How? I get that the show is trying to set her up as a character that the audience should root for, but does it have to come at the expense of downplaying what other characters have done?

Din obviously made the heroic save, there were other witnesses among the team (and it was right there on the screen) so why didn't anyone set the facts straight? And besides, anyone who's done even an ounce of research on Bo-Katan knows that she's a trash human being with questionable intentions at best. So no, I will not be rooting for your shitty ass character with no redeemable qualities.

Also, I was actally surprised to find that I was genuinely disappointed in Din and his questionable parenting this episode because he was so shitty to Grogu. He actually forced Grogu (yes forced since it wasn't like Grogu could speak up for himself and refuse) into a fight -despite how small and inexperienced he is- with a kid like six times his size (that also outweighed him by a good 70 lbs). Thankfully, they only dueled using paintballs but wtf Din, the kid's so tiny that a small projectile hitting him in the chest winded him.

And Din was so neglectful. We see it when, after the foundling was snatched up, he immediately left the beach to go after the creature instead of going to Grogu to make sure the kid didn't get trampled in chaos (you don't understand, he's just so fucking small) or just in case there was more than one in the area (cause he didn't know much about the creature at that point). It's been established in previous seasons that Grogu's wellbeing is Din's number one priority, so much so that he'd break his creed and remove his helmet in front of -not only strangers- but the enemy as well, without any hesitation. So you understand why I was frustrated when it seemed like Din's initial instinct was to go after Paz's kid without even bothering to secure Grogu's safety first.

Then when Bo-Katan returns with the location of the creature's nest he goes with the team in order to retrieve the kid, leaving Grogu with a bunch of strangers that have - up to this point- basically just shown how incompetent they are. Like, in the opening of the episode, various Mandalorians and foundlings were just shooting their guns into the breeze as "training" when they should've been aiming at targets.

But the main problem I have with this season is the lack of an overarching plot. There is absolutely no established drive for why the characters are doing what they do. Like, at first I assumed that the entire season would be dedicated to Din going to Mandalore, the finale closing out with an impactful, emotional moment as he goes to the desolate planet to bathe in the living waters and maybe even say the adoption rights to officially name Grogu as his son. But no, he already redeems himself in like episode 2. Well then is Bo-Katan going to be an omnious enemy lurking in the background of the story? A looming threat that she could, at any moment, challenge him to a duel for the darksaber since they left off on such bad terms? Nope, wrong again. Then it has to be about Din accepting the role of Mand'alor and deciding to use the fact that he wields the artifact that gives him the right to rule in order to round up what's left of his people in a quest to re-inhabit Mandalore, build their numbers back up to their former glory, and preserve their culture? Of course not.

Then what the hell are we doing? If you don't immediately establish a clear directive for the story, then the audience has nothing to get invested in and nobody to root for. Oh, Din rejoined his convert, cool. But I wanna know why we should care. What does it do for Din? Are there any repercussions? What is he risking? What does he gain by re-attaining the favor of his covert? And all of this isn't even touched on, what could've been a very meaningful moment is instead brushed off as yet another side quest and completed by the second episode.

We don't get to see Din struggle. We don't see the emotional aftermath of him being essentially cast out from the covert (the only family he's ever known other than Grogu) or watch him slowly realize that being a Mandalorian is more than just keeping his face covered or even confront the fact that the "old ways" that his covert practice are archaic and dehumanizing. There's absolutely no character development, so there's no reward when Din completes his mission, leaving the whole "redemption" arc (if you can even call it that) feeling hollow and lifeless.

[system-of-a-feather]

A small tip of perspective for those that struggle to navigate their own needs but are animal lovers / pet parents, try to approach yourself and your needs (and for systems, parts and system needs) as if you were trying to understand a specific needs profile of a breed / version of the pet aren't the most aware of and don't have the ability to look up. I don't know how well this applies to non-dog/bird species, but largely in birds and dogs, there is a large variety of needs depending on the species / breed you get and even within species and breeds. What one needs is going to be drastically different from the other

What sort of enrichment is necessary to make this animal happy and able to live to the most of their natural behavioral capabilities? What sort of social exposure and activity does this animal need to meet their needs and make sure they have an enriched life? What have they been eating? Has it been one same meal over and over again beyond the point of enjoying it still? When was the last time things were changed up? When was the last time they were bathed or given the opportunity to see something new?

Largely our system is a bird, and like any bird, you really can't keep them in a cage all day so we have system rules that we should try to leave the house every day for at least an hour and preferably go somewhere that has something to look at that we haven't done in a while. We call this the "Fly the Coop" time and its just a general welfare rule. Treat the bird in our brain like the bird it is and give it it's "outside time" because not giving a bird that would be very bad for them.

We also are a parrot to be specific so it is very important to give us something to work on, a puzzle to figure out, and active mental stimuli and enrichment. We have a very high curious and drive to learn and figure things out, so like any particularly curious parrot, its important to lay out a number of activities, problems, and puzzles for us to figure out and build on - as a result it is important for us to always have a list of skills and problem solving and creation related things availible for us to engage with.

We are also very social but we aren't so much the active cuddler (save for specific parts) and active affectionate type, so much as we are more around the ways of an African Grey or Cockatiel that needs passive company and benefits from a mutually engaged environment; so it is important to have people (or birds for our case as it fills the need) around us doing their own thing and even better if they are also engaged as it lets us relax in an engaged state. Mutual engagement is one of the solid bonding activities. Additionally, we fill our social needs often in the form of social bathing, social eating, and general social cleaning / preening, so when possible, its good to put ourselves in environments where others are doing similar and/or bring our close people and our birds into those activities with us.

Routine is highly important to us as well which again is a good parallel to parrots so we keep that in mind.

With the general frame work, we can really easily apply a mental check list / needs list by largely applying a "welfare and needs" marker for a "non-existant parrot" and apply that to ourselves so rather than trying to figure out what "We Need", we can just make sure we have made sure the parrot need profile in our head has been met.

Largely following the general caresheet for the specific type of parrot that we are has honestly led to a lot better self care and day to day management of our mental, psychological, and physical health so its a perspective thing I do recommend.

[sinosauropteryx--prima]

Gay Dinosaurs

Let me interrupt your regularely scheduled paleozoic posts for some gay dinosaurs because it‘s pride month.

Up there you can see a little doodle I did of a Heterodontosaurus holding a pride flag. And yes, that is it‘s real name (although it actually translates to “different-teethed-lizard“; you can see it‘s weird dentation in most paleoart, as it is usually depicted with its mouth wide open). It was a small fella, only about 1.5 m long and maybe 10 kg heavy, most likely herbivorous and lived in the early jurassic, about 200 million years ago.

Heterodontosaurus is of course not the gay dinosaur I want to talk about. For the extinct dinosaurs it is very difficult to tell sexual behavior. There aren‘t really any fossils of dinosaurs that are in the middle of fucking, and even if there were, telling the sex of a fossil is very difficult to borderline impossible.

However, we still have dinosaurs around: The birds. Usually you hear that birds are descendants of dinosaurs. That is true, but it is true in the same way, that dogs are descendants of mammals. They are. But they also are still mammals themselves. It‘s the same for birds. They originated from dinosaurs, but they are still part of the dinosaur lineage.

Those fuzzy little dinosaurs that we still have today are extremely gay. Very famously gay are the Chinstrap Penguins of Central Park Zoo, that raised a chick together, but there are many other gay penguin couples: In San Francisco there is a pair of Magenellic penguins, a King penguin couple in Berlin, African Penguins in the Netherlands, gay Gentoo penguins in Sydney and Valencia and many more. More recently there has been a pair of male vultures in a zoo in Amsterdam that has adopted an orphaned egg and they raised the chick together.

Gay behavior is also not just something that is observed in captivity. On an Island of the coast of California there is a population of seagulls with lots of lesbian couples. More often bird species show male-male-pairings though, like in Black swans or Greylag geese, where up to 20 % of pairs are same sex. Sometimes this also causes major problems for breeding programs of endangered species. In one case for example a female Blue duck was presented with two males to chose a mate from. However, the two males decided to chose each other and are apparently very happy now.

(selection of gay birds: top left: Western gull; top right: Black Swan; bottom left: Chinstrap penguin; bottom right: Griffon vultures)

What do all those gay birds now mean for the non-bird dinosaurs? Well, since fruity behavior is that widespread among birds, it is very likely, that they inherited it from their common ancestor. This means that at least the lineage of small carnivorous dinosaurs from which birds descended most likely also showed gay behavior.

But what about all the other dinosaurs?

I did some digging and managed to find an account of male-male-mating in crocodiles (caimans to be exact) published in 2012 in Herpetological Reviews (Herpetology is the study of reptiles and amphibians). You can read it here and you should, mainly, because the clinical way the author describes these two crocs fucking is cracking me up.

So why is the gay croc important? Well, Crocodiles, birds and the non-bird dinosaurs (also the flying pterosaurs) all belong to the same group, called Archosauria. If today, we can see gay crocs and gay birds, it is very likely that they inherited it from a common ancestor (like all the birds would have inherited it from their common dinosaur ancestor). If birds and crocs inherited it, dinosaurs most likely did too. Therefore, there were gay dinosaurs (which honestly isn‘t surprising at all considering how many gay animals there are today).

So, in conclusion, happy pride month to all the gay dinosaurs!