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greensaplinggrace · 3 years ago

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What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

1 2 3 4

He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited—there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years ago

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The Mandalorian Chapter 15 rewatch thoughts

- mayfeld does hear when the droid talks to him the first time, you can see him pretending not to like he hopes he’ll just go away haha. I also guess he’s had a lot of time to think, picking apart pieces of the large fascist machine he used to be a part of and going over everything he clearly regrets

- hahaha fennec and boba are in the back intensely keeping watch the entire time they’re on the prison planet. I suppose a good two thirds of this crew is uuuuh extremely wanted by the new republic lol

- the thing din’s voice does at the end when he says “but you still know your imperial clearances and protocols. don’t you.” is beyond fucking words, it sends a chill right through me

1) din fiddling with that panel; I think he’s phenomenally nervous behind the helmet here, that’s the sort of keeping his hands busy he does when he’s anxious and 2) why the hell does boba have this many chairs instead of like space for cargo haha does he throw bounty hunter parties in here or what

- ngl boba correctly guessing at a glance what sort of ore they’re mining and informing everyone in his sardonic deadpan voice is Big Sexy

I love how he and fennec are standing together when they’re both present in these opening scenes too, first at the very back when they’re keeping a lookout:

and then in the foreground while they discuss the scan

it’s a nice subtle way to get across that they already have a dynamic, they’re somewhat used to working together as a unit at this point. (she’s also looking over at him when she asks what they might be mining in there, like she’s mostly asking his opinion instead of opening it to the floor. they’re talking the mission out between them before din enters the conversation)

- the inside of slave 1 when the ship’s moving makes me a little bit motion sick, I really love seeing it but I hope we don’t stay in here too often haha

- aaaw the small weary sigh din gives upon realizing none of his bros can go with mayfeld. I’m sorry about basically your entire life buddy

the awkward way din adjusts the helmet like he’s trying to get used to the way it feels ;______;

- ah the distinct implication that mayfeld is needling din about this because he’s actually feeling super uncomfortable being back in empire gear and he needs to transfer that discomfort over onto someone else so he won’t have to feel through it... very psychologically understandable and such a fucking piece of shit asshole character trait to give in to haha

- din’s level of side eye is so epic you can see it straight through the helmet fhaskjfhd

- neat detail: din’s head turns slightly toward mayfeld when he calls mandalorians a ‘race’. (it’s sort of cool that we as the audience know why that bothers him, but mayfeld probably didn’t even pick up on it). also shows that mayfeld doesn’t actually quite understand what he’s talking about, even when he makes decent points he’s caught up in his own myopic nihilistic point of view. ‘we’re all the same’ ------> ‘everyone’s secretly as shitty as me deep down’. (which also betrays a lot of self loathing, since we see later he does have the capacity to NOT be that shitty when he chooses to. rick famuyiwa manages to get a LOT of really interesting nuanced stuff into this character in two short episodes, that’s super impressive)

the bright sunny look on mayfeld’s face when din finally gives in and takes the bait tho fsajdkfhasj he’s awful but that’s very funny

- rip all these excellent dudes who really only wanted to accomplish the noble goal of ruining the empire’s entire day and didn’t know they were also trying to blow up My Dad Who Does Not Deserve Any Of This, it’s honestly just really sad that there’s no moment to talk that out

well at least they blew up the entire refinery on their way out, I’m sure that’s the way they would have wanted their memories honored lol

- the comedy beat of din running out of ammo for the first time ever and the music briefly cutting out for it is so so good for me

hahahaha din seems to actually take a moment to be a little aghast at that dude who ends up crushed under the treads of the tank thing, he’s just sort of staring for a few seconds too long and that’s how pirate nr 2 takes him by surprise and shatters his shoulder armour

- I feel a bit bad -- two of the ‘pirates’ try to hold on to each other for balance and then din punches them apart and off the tank :( I mean it’s not like he could just let them murderate him either but like. ouch I’m guessing this one might haunt him for a while for several reasons huh

(the sequence is actually this guy, let’s call him pirate 3, swings the spear at din and misses, instead hitting his buddy who’s trying to get to his feet, then looks horrified and grabs for him to make sure he doesn’t fall off, and then... mando’s forehead happens to them haha)

- poor fennec and cara just running up that hill while everything’s on fire, they must be wondering what the FUCK is going on (at least cara knows that things blowing up is a sure sign din djarin is in the middle there somewhere)

- everything about carano in real life aside for one second -- I do like that we get this contrast in build between our main female characters of the episode and the way their costume designs enhance it

- awwww the little gesture din does with his hand after he removes it from mayfeld’s chest after stopping him from leaving, it’s just so... sweet. it’s a little bit appeal, a little bit reassurance, it just lightens/softens the tone of what he says a bit (he has quite a lot of like... not conciliatory mannerisms exactly, but small touches here and there that are there to communicate that he’s not angry/aggressive or trying to be a dick about it even when he’s emphatic. I keep wondering how much that is just him being him and how much is him being practiced at settling other people’s hot tempers)

- this shot is just... genius

it’s din seen entirely from the outside, with nothing of what we’ve learned to recognize as him for almost two seasons now in view -- not even his face, which we have at least a tenuous fledgling attachment to from before. it’s like we get introduced to him almost as if anew again and again in this episode, just like he’s getting introduced to new aspects of himself and what he’s willing to do and having to struggle to find ways to have that fit with who he is. his discomfort and stress is our discomfort and stress. it’s so interesting

- I can’t stop cackling at this moment even in all the tension -- you only get a sliver of din’s profile but you can feel the sheer MURDER radiating off him sdhfasjk

- aaaaaaaagh the way you get a whole different view of din’s habitual impassiveness when you can actually see his face... the way he keeps appealing to mayfeld ‘just don’t make more trouble, just shut up’, the way he goes completely silent and watchful and frozen..... those are all really obvious trauma responses, and it leads you to wonder how often he touches into that even when he’s in his element, when he’s got the full armour on. hmngh my heart

- ‘the believer’ is such a galaxy brain title for this episode, because it could be referring to either of the three men around this table or all of them at once. (and crucially the only person whose beliefs aren’t in a living, breathing state of adapting to the world around them is the empire officer, with his horrific inhuman ideology. mayfeld thinks he believes in nothing, and proves himself explosively wrong by the end of the episode, and it’s redeeming for him in some capacity. din is facing a more internal dilemma of different parts of his (and his culture’s) beliefs/values clashing and having to decide which one’s more important, to his identity and to how to exist in the world as a person (and love for the baby wins out supremely in the end. of course it does Y_____Y). the empire dude only sees the same sterile fascist world at the end of his shit rainbow that he’s clearly always done, even when faced with proof that it’s untenable. (I mean he wouldn’t give a fuck that it’s immoral because he’s y’know evil, but he’s not even fazed by the fact that the empire provably FAILED, and failed so quickly) his belief is a dead and deadening thing to contrast the others. man when this show goes off with the themes it goes OFF haha)

- love the triumphant heroic mando music kicking in as we’re finally getting to pick off imps, love that for us

- din’s protective instincts at work again, he helps mayfeld to his feet and makes sure he’s safely on board before going further in himself ;_______;

- fennec’s professional approval at mayfeld’s shot hahaha. well I guess he was supposed to be a sharpshooter back in the day huh

I do Not think she likes mayfeld even after all that, though, the withering look she sends him on her way past... should have killed him stone dead on the spot

- seeing din back in the armour is like a physical relief, I can breathe again haha

- tfw you catch yourself thinking ‘at least when all this is over we can go back to the razor crest and everything will be normal again’ and then you rEMEMBER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta #honestly I could add a lot more of my boba thirst in this lol (idk din is always Dad not Daddy to me but boba's Doing something for me haha)

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adobe-outdesign · 4 years ago

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The Big Grand TIOL Review/Critique

I’ve been covering my thoughts on this a bit during my liveblog, but I figured I should punch out a proper review.

No spoilers review: This one’s a bit tricky in terms of reviewing it. The reason for this is that, in a way, I feel like some its weaknesses are part of its design, so it’s not fair to critique them.

Basically, DCTL is the essential BATIM novel, in that it does exactly what you’d expect a BATIM novel to do. Don’t get me wrong, it was by no means paint-by-the-numbers, but you had all the BATIM staples in there. Game-canon characters, the machine itself, people getting turned into cartoons, the Ink Demon killing shit, ect ect.

TIOL is different because it’s basically an in-universe memoir written by Joey about his life and philosophy. So the thing is, when you boil this book down, it’s kind of almost not a BATIM book in a way. It features a game-canon character and dives deep into his backstory, but most of the book has little to do with the studio until like the last 4/5s or so.

So on the one hand, I feel like that’s a problem, and we needed more game-canon characters, more about the cartoons, ect. But then again... it wouldn’t make sense for Joey to spend his entire life rambling about the studio instead of talking about his early years at all, would it? So in a way I can’t really fault the book for it.

In terms of flaws, it honestly has less than DCTL--while DCTL had some major glaring problems, TIOL is fairly solid all around, but is less of a satisfying read due to its premise, making it hard to compare the two.

In terms of whether or not you’d enjoy the book, I guess it’s most important to know what you’re going to get out of it. If you’re like me and like extreme character studies and backstories, de-fictionalized in-universe media, and long philosophical talks, you’ll probably really enjoy it. If you don’t and want something more standard for BATIM, stick with DCTL.

Overall, I enjoyed the book, though I do like DCTL more at the end of the day. I’ll give this one a solid 6/10.

Spoilers below the cut:

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Okay, I lied. I’m not gonna include an ugly section this time, mostly because, as I said before, this book has less glaring issues than DCTL did. With that said:

The Good

If you like Joey, you will love this book. I’ve said before that Joey is the best character (strictly speaking) in BATIM because he by far has the most depth, showing a layered and interesting character. This book takes that and runs with it, giving a deep look into his psychology, philosophy, and overall explaining a lot about why he does what he does and his way of viewing the world. It’s legitimately well done and makes you look at his character in a new way, and as someone who loves character studies this whole thing was a real treat for me.

They do a very good job making this feel like an actual memoir. Nathan is editing and leaves footnotes, he wrote a foreword explaining this is a reprint, Joey blatantly lies a few times because that’s what he’d do, ect.

Also, if you enjoy foreshadowing dialogue--which I do, very much--there is more than enough of that here.

This one might be cheating because it’s probably unintentional, but there is a ton of Joey being gay in this book, some of it really overt. I’m not going to go into it much here as Dreamfisher already summarized everything for me, but yeah, there is no way this man is straight.

Everyone who was OOC in DCTL seems to be better here. Sammy, while still an asshole, is neither as big of an asshole as he was in DCTL nor is he being racist. Bertrum is still affable towards Joey, but here it makes sense because they literally just met, and unlike in DCTL he even corrects him on his name.

Other characters get some screentime, and while brief, it’s nice to get some more characterization for them, especially because a few of them never showed up in DCTL. Jack Fain in particular gets some much-needed characterization and really shines here, as well as Nathan.

While it’s not overtly ha-ha funny, I did chuckle a few times. Most at Nathan’s notes, as half of them are just blatantly contradicting Joey’s lies.

We get a bit more info on Henry and Joey’s relationship, as well as how the cartoons were made.

The Bad

As mentioned above, there’s weirdly not a ton of BATIM content in this. Sure, it’s about Joey, but the bulk of the novel features book-canon characters only and is more focused on how he got where he ended up than stuff regarding the studio. It doesn’t really feel like a BATIM novel until about 4/5s of the way through. Like I said above though, I don’t know how much I can critique that, as it’s kind of inevitable with a memoir.

There is a lot of navel gazing in this. If you like philosophy you’ll enjoy it, but if you don’t it might get irritating, especially when it’s just Joey’s opinions over and over.

While we get more info about Joey and Henry and how they met, there’s not much info given on their relationship. Joey just talks about how much he totes didn’t need Henry while Nathan indicates that it was way more personal than that, but we never learn how personal. It makes sense as Joey’s the one writing this, but it still would’ve been nice to hear some more remarks from Nathan on the matter or something.

There’s like a 50 page or so detective mystery that I didn’t really care for. There was nothing really wrong with it, but it didn’t feel like it told us a ton about Joey, and there’s not a lot of emotional investment as we don’t know these people. Combine that with the mystery being unsolvable to the reader (because Joey leaves out crucial information until the reveal) and it just kind of felt like a pointless side detour, and like that time could’ve been spent on something more interesting. Most we get out of it is the origin of Bendy’s name.

There’s a weird inconsistency where Joey claims he made Bendy (not surprising), but he also goes over the moment when Bendy was made and it blatantly shows the two collabing, so at best he would’ve been Bendy’s co-creator. It’s just strange that he would describe the process like that instead of changing it to fit his lie. I think the implication is that the process itself is fake--that Henry had nailed Bendy’s design when he first showed it to Joey--but like I said, the scene contradicts Joey’s claims regardless.

There’s not really a... plot? Not surprising as it’s a memoir, but some memoirs do a good job of building a climax by showcasing an important moment in the person’s life. Here, because things are being told out of order, we never really get a climax, as there’s no action and Joey’s little emphianys are scattered throughout. There’s kind of just a lot of people standing around and talking and not much actual action going on.

I was kind of hoping this book would go into Joey’s black magic stuff. I need to make this clear: I don’t think BATIM should ever go into this too much, as it’s really just the macguffin that explains the plot, and it wouldn’t make sense for Joey to sit there talking about all the cool satanic bullshit he’s been doing lately anyway. However, Joey’s mentioned the “Gods” before, so I was kind of hoping for something about his thoughts about religion or something that would hint at the demonic stuff. He thinks about the afterlife a lot, but that’s about it.

Overall

Like I said, you have to know what you’re getting into when you pick up the book. If you read this and it sounds like something you’d enjoy, then grab it. If not, then don’t bother. For me, personally, I’m glad I read it, even if it wasn’t quite on the same level as something like DCTL.

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #batim: illusion of living #the illusion of living #joey drew #liveblog #kind of #outdesign posts things #outdesign analyzes things #also I didn't include this one because it's more of an aesthetic thing but it is nicely printed and presented

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obx-adventures · 4 years ago

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The Introverted Twin

Summary - Being John B’s bookish twin isn’t easy. Especially with my best friend, Pope, being weird about me getting closer with JJ.

Warnings - Smut at the end

A/N - I have tried to tag everyone who has reblogged at least one of the chapters. If you don’t want to be tagged, just let me know. If anyone wants to be added to the taglist, let me know. Thank you everyone for being so into this series!

Catch up here: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5

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Chapter 6

“JJ! I know you’re here! Answer the damn door!”

I jolt awake at the banging on the bedroom window and it takes me a few moments to recognize my brother’s voice. JJ is sitting on the edge of the bed frozen in place. I reach out and grab his hand. When he looks down at me, I see how nervous he is. I’m reminded that the Pogues are his only real family and being with me puts that in jeopardy.

“JJ, it’s going to be ok. I’ll talk to him.” I glance out the window and see my brother walking to the front of the house. Once he can’t see into the bedroom anymore, I sit up and put on my shirt. As I climb past JJ to get out of his bed, I kiss the top of his head. “I promise I won’t let you lose your best friend.”

I fix my hair quickly and open the front door. My brother stares me down as I step outside and close the door. I remember the conversation he had with JJ and I feel my anger rising too.

“John B, what are you doing here?” I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him.

“I came to see if JJ knew where you were. But I guess you were here with him. All night.” I can’t stop my eyes from rolling at the implication.

“JB, stop. I left you a note that I was ok and would be back in the morning. You couldn’t wait for me?”

“Y/N, you have never disappeared like this before. I was worried about you…” Guilt washes over me as I take in his face. He has huge bags under his eyes and looks like he didn’t sleep at all last night. But I can’t let him know that he’s wearing me down already. We have too many things to hash out.

“You were worried about me or worried that JJ was with me?”

“About you! First you freak out yesterday and bolt, then I find out from Sarah that you went to talk to her when you wouldn’t talk to me, and then I see the van outside and find your note. None of this is like you!” He’s right. Everything I did yesterday after we docked back at our pier was out of character.

“Calm down, I’m really ok.” I hold out my arms and spin in a circle to show him I was completely fine. “See? Not a scratch on me. I just needed some space.”

“From me?” I can’t ignore the hurt in my twin’s voice. In this moment, I remember that John B and I are the only family we have left. Our mom left when we were little, and our dad has been gone for almost a year. It’s just the two of us and we’ve grown to rely on each other.

“Yes, I saw how you were getting worked up after we got back from the marsh and I didn’t even know what I was feeling in that moment. How could I talk to you about something so important when I didn’t understand myself? You said Sarah told you I went to see her? Did she tell you what we talked about?”

“No, she wouldn’t tell me anything. She just said that you needed to talk through some stuff.” His frustration is evident, and I have to stop myself from smiling at the pouty look he has.

“I did. I needed to figure out how I feel.”

“How you feel about JJ?”

“Yes, John B, how I feel about JJ. And how JJ feels about me. And how Pope and you fit into all of that. I didn’t mean to scare you. Honestly, I’m sorry that I did. I just… damnit, this is all stuff that will change our whole little world and it freaked me out.”

“Yea, I’m pretty freaked too. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

“So you could try to scare me away from JJ? Like you tried to scare him away from me?”

“He told you?” he asks sheepishly. He looks down and won’t make eye contact with me as he waits for my response.

“Yes. How could you say those things to him, JB? You know that his dad has told him at every opportunity that he is worthless and won’t amount to anything. How could you pile on like that? He’s your best fucking friend.”

“I didn’t say he’s worthless!” His anger is back now that he’s reminded about part of the reason he’s here. He can tell me all he wants that he was trying to find me, but I know him well enough to know that he was planning on having it out with JJ. “And you’re right, he is my best friend. But as my best friend, I know him really well and I know how he is with girls. I can’t let you be one of the girls he tosses to the side when he’s had enough.”

“All the girls that he ‘tosses to the side’ are Tourons or girls he barely knows. We’ve been friends since 3rd grade, just like you two have. I know we’ve never been as close, but he’s defended me when I was picked on for being the nerdy kid that doesn’t surf. He saw me get stood up last year and wanted to go beat the shit out of that guy. He cares about me, he always has.”

“But Y/N –” I hold up my hand to interrupt my brother. I will not let him tell me what’s best for me.

“No, John B! You do not get a say in this. Did I give you shit when you started dating Sarah?”

“That was different,” he responds stubbornly.

“Why?” My eyebrows raise as I await whatever bullshit explanation he tries to give me.

“Because Sarah isn’t –” I stop him again. I also will not let him try to make JJ out to be the bad guy.

“Stop. Sarah cheated on her boyfriend with you. I knew Kie hated her, too. But did I give you shit like everyone else? No, I didn’t. So, I need you to return the favor here.”

“I’m not trying to give you shit, I’m trying to protect you.” His shoulders sag after he tells me this and I realize he doesn’t understand why JJ is so important to me.

“Do you know how difficult it is for me every day? I have never been good at making friends, I’ve never fit in. Do you remember all our birthday parties when we were little? Everyone was there for you. JJ was the only one who ever even got me a present. I was invisible to everyone else. Thankfully I found Pope so I don’t feel so alone every day. But with JJ, it’s more than that. He makes me feel alive, John B.”

“You make me feel alive too, Sunshine.” I jump at JJ’s voice and wonder how long he’s been standing there. “Dude, I get that I don’t have the best history here. I’m not even pissed about what you said yesterday. I just need you to see that this is different. I’m in for as long as Y/N wants me here. I don’t want to hold her back from her dreams, I just want to be a part of it. If that means waiting here for her, fine. If she’ll let me come with her, even better. Like I told her yesterday, I’m in. 100%.”

John B starts pacing while he thinks through everything he’s just heard. I go over to JJ and bring him in for a tight hug. He gives me a quick kiss and I know that he’s thanking me for defending him to my brother.

“Did you have sex with her?” John B asks.

“JB!” I am mortified and livid that JB would think he’s entitled to ask that question.

“Y/N, it’s fine. No, we didn’t have sex. I’m not going to tell you anything else because that’s none of your business.”

“You shouldn’t have told him anything.” JJ chuckles as he pulls me in close to him.

“He needs to know this isn’t my usual bullshit, Sunshine.”

“Is that why –” JJ cuts me off before I can finish my question. He must have known I would think this was why he stopped us last night.

“No, he had nothing to do with that.” He leaves it at that and looks back at my twin. “JB, are we good?”

“He makes you feel alive?” John B asks me.

“Yes.”

“And you actually care about her? You don’t just want to mack on her?” I roll my eyes at John B while he waits for JJ to answer him.

“Yes, absolutely.” John B looks back and forth between us and finally let’s out a resigned sigh.

“We’re good… I’m sorry for being a dick yesterday. And, Y/N, I’m sorry for –”

“Being a macho asshole?”

“Yea, that.” We both break into a smile and John B comes forward to hug me and JJ. “But JJ, I was serious yesterday. You hurt her and I’ll beat your ass.”

“Whatever, JB. Ready to go home?” After he nods, I turn to JJ and smile when I think about our date tonight. “What time for tonight?”

“I’ll pick you up at 6.” He gives me a quick kiss and pats my butt when I turn towards the van. I look back at him and he winks at me, causing both of us to laugh. I kiss him again, but the kiss is cut short by John B honking the horn. I flip him off as I go in for one more kiss just to bother him.

The ride back to the Chateau is quiet, my thoughts stuck on what JJ may have planned for our date. So I shouldn’t have been surprised when John B slams on the brakes after I yell out. We are in front of Heyward’s and I just saw Pope walk outside.

“JB, give me 5 minutes. I need to try to talk to Pope.” I’m already half way out the door before John B understands why I yelled.

“Good luck, I’ll wait down the street.”

I wipe my suddenly sweaty hands on my shorts and walk over to the dock. Pope hasn’t seen me yet, so I take a minute to think through what I want to say.

“Pope, can we talk for a minute?” He freezes at the sound of my voice but doesn’t turn around. “Please, Pope.”

He finally turns to face me, and I can see that this past week has been hard for him. He looks like he’s barely slept and has lost a couple pounds. I feel terrible for my best friend and incredibly guilty about what I need to tell him.

“I can’t do this right now, Y/N. I’m already late for deliveries and my pop will flip if I’m not gone in like 30 seconds.”

“Please just talk to me. I could come with you on your deliveries.”

“No, that’s not... no.” Pope won’t look at me but is shaking his head quickly to shut down this idea.

“But I miss you, Pope. And there is something I need to talk to you about. It’s really important.”

“You better get your ass on that boat!” Heyward yells at his son.

“Look, Y/N, I’ll try to come by tomorrow. Ok?” He doesn’t wait for my response before he jumps on the boat and starts the engine.

----

“Y/N, JJ’s here!”

Sarah gives me a gentle squeeze on my shoulders to calm me before she put the finishing touches on my hair. When we got back to the Chateau earlier, Sarah was here waiting. She looked nervously between me and John B to try to figure out if we were ok. I pulled her into a hug and asked her to help me get ready for my date. She took the assignment very seriously and has spent the rest of the day perfecting my look.

Before Sarah lets me leave my room, she forces me to stand in front of my mirror to admire her handiwork. I gasp when I finally see the finished product. Dressing up and wearing makeup is not me but Sarah has found a way to make it natural. My makeup is subtle but makes my eyes sparkle. The dress that she picked out highlights my curves and looks great with my tan skin. My hair is down, and my normally wild curls are tamed.

“Wow, Sarah,” I whisper as I turn to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. Do you think JJ will like it?”

“Are you kidding me? He is going to drool when he sees you!” Sarah laughs and opens my bedroom door.

I walk out to the living room and the boys don’t see me right away. I get a chance to study the way JJ is nervously fidgeting with his lighter. He has a button up shirt on and styled his hair. He looks up and his jaw drops as he takes in my appearance. John B notices JJ’s response and turns to look at me. My anxiety ticks up at their silence. Thankfully, Sarah steps in to break the silence.

“So, JJ, where are you guys going?” It takes JJ a moment to respond, his gaze still focused on me.

“Umm… I... I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.” I raise my eyebrows to silently ask for a hint, causing JJ to grin. “Nope, can’t tell you, Sunshine. You’ll just have to wait.”

“Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?” I tear my eyes from JJ to furrow my brows at my brother. But I follow him to the kitchen and find him pacing nervously.

“JB, what’s wrong? I place both hands on his shoulders to get him to stop and look at me.

“Are you sure about this?” I roll my eyes at my brother, give him a kiss on the cheek, and go back to the living room.

“Ready, J?” He nods as I take his hand but he doesn’t walk with me.

“John B, I promise –”

“Nope, we’re not doing this, J. Let’s go.” I pull him with me outside and link my arm with his when we get off the porch.

We walk to the beach and JJ guides me to an area that I’ve never been to. After walking in comfortable silence for a little bit, JJ gently reaches over and covers my eyes. He turns us away from the water and leads me for another minute. When he removes his hand from my eyes, I am speechless. He has laid out a picnic for us with all my favorite things – a blanket that I always cuddle under on movie nights is spread out on the sand, candles that Kie gave me last year for my birthday holding the blanket in place, a picnic basket that my dad used to use when we went out on family adventures is sitting in the middle, and my favorite classical music piece is playing through the speaker. I instantly remember how much JJ pays attention to little details and all of my anxiety disappears.

“JJ, this is… wow.” I give him a quick kiss and he leads me over to sit down on the blanket. “I’ve never even listened to Clair de Lune around you guys. How did you know?”

JJ smiles at me and tucks one of my curls behind my ear. “You were so pissed when you found out it was in Twilight. We were 12, I think, and Ms Lana gave you the Twilight movie set for your birthday. JB put the first one on as a joke since he knew you would hate it. Pope talked you into watching it with us and you stormed away when they started talking about Clair de Lune and John B yelled ‘Oh come on, it’s your favorite!’ I’ve listened to it every once in a while since then after I get into it with my dad. It helps calm me down.”

I’m shocked into silence. I watch JJ unpack the picnic basket and am in awe of the beautiful boy in front of me. I tear my gaze from him to see what he brought for us and am confused when I see the assortment of food. JJ sees the look on my face and worries that he did something wrong. I offer him a reassuring smile and ask what’s for dinner.

“We have grilled cheese sandwiches, yours has that weird cheese you like so much and tomatoes. I still don’t get why you like tomatoes on there but whatever. I have your favorite chips and peanut butter filled pretzels. I also got strawberry lemonade and mixed it with real strawberries like they do at the Wreck. And vodka to add in if you want since you don’t like beer. I know it isn’t fancy, but I thought this was more you and all of these are your favorites.”

“JJ… this is perfect. You’re perfect.” I smile when I see him blush. How did I get so lucky to have such a sweet and caring guy?

We eat in comfortable silence and JJ chuckles when I moan in satisfaction after taking a bite of my grilled cheese. I decide to add some vodka to my strawberry lemonade to calm my nerves. After JJ finishes eating, he lays down on the blanket and looks up at the stars. A little later I join him, resting my head on his chest. JJ points out different planets and constellations as I trace the different constellation patterns on his forearm. We lay like this for a while and I feel myself drifting off as he plays with my hair.

“What are you thinking about, Sunshine?”

“How happy I am right now. You?”

“Mhm, I wish we could stay here, like this, forever. Dance with me?”

“Seriously, J?” I sit up and study his face.

“Please, I wanted to take you to that dance last year but that asshole asked you first. That was one of the reasons I wanted to kill him when he stood you up.”

I stand up and pull him with me. As I wrap my arms around his neck, he places one hand on my waist and selects a song on his phone. After he puts his phone away, he pulls me flush against his body and we start to sway to the opening notes of Ed Sheeran’s Perfect.

“This is my favorite love song,” I tell JJ as I rest my head on his chest.

“I know, you told me last summer.”

“Really? When?”

“We all went out on the Pogue and I decided to sit with you instead of swim. You quietly asked me if I didn’t want to get in because I didn’t want everyone else to see my bruises from my dad. But I didn’t answer you and instead of pushing it, you turned up the music and held my hand. A little later, Perfect came on and you told me you loved it because it is about wanting a life and future with someone instead of the chase or just one night with someone.”

“I can’t believe you remember that, JJ.”

“I remember everything,” he whispers to me.

——

“Did you have a good time tonight, Sunshine?” JJ asks me as we walk up the steps of the porch at the Chateau.

“Absolutely, JJ. Everything was perfect.”

JJ steps closer to me and rests a hand on my cheek. He leans in and kisses me gently.

“I love you, Y/N. I should have said it yesterday but I was scared.”

I take JJ by the hand and lead him inside the house and into my bedroom. I lock my door behind us and wordlessly guide him to sit on the edge of the bed. I straddle his lap and crush my lips to his.

JJ’s left hand wraps around my waist while his right settles on the back of my neck. He tangles his fingers in my hair as he pulls me as close as possible to him. This kiss is carnal and hungry. We pour every ounce of emotion into the kiss and I begin to feel lightheaded. I pull back to catch my breath but JJ’s hand in my hair only allows me to move back an inch. He looks at me with lust filled eyes before he squeezes them shut and takes a few steadying breaths.

“Sunshine, I should go.”

“J, stay... please... You can’t tell me that you love me and then leave.” I lean down and brush my lips along his jawline then nibble gently on his earlobe. “Stay...”

JJ moans and grips my waist tightly with both hands when I start kissing his neck. I run my hands down to his waist band and skim my fingertips along the top of his shorts. His hands move down to my bare thighs and I’m so damn thankful Sarah forced me into a dress.

“You’re killing me...” JJ groans as he tilts his head to give me better access. I smile against his skin knowing that I’ve won him over. I start unbuttoning his shirt and kiss back up to his lips.

When our lips connect, JJ takes control. He moves his hands roughly up and I shiver when he traces along the lace of my bikini panties. His insistent fingers press into my ass and pull my hips closer to his. I thread my fingers into his hair and gently tug as I slowly grind my core on the ridge of his growing erection.

Keeping one hand on my ass, he brings the other up to cup my breast and uses his index finger and thumb to tease my nipple over my clothes, eliciting a moan. He moves the hand on my breast to my back and finds my zipper, hesitating until I whisper please, trying not to break the kiss. He slowly unzips my dress and runs his finger pads back up my now exposed back. He roughly grips the dress straps with both hands and pulls my dress down to expose my chest. I climb off his lap quickly to remove my dress completely and his normally ocean blue eyes are dark with desire as my dress pools around my feet. He rakes his eyes over my body and licks his lips as he takes in the sight of my matching red lacy bra and panties set. He reaches out to pull me back to straddle his lap again and my skin tingles everywhere he touches me. He roughly cups both of my breasts and pulls down the lace to gain better access to my nipples with his nimble fingers.

Instead of returning his lips to mine, he kisses down my neck as he teases and tweaks both nipples. My breath hitches and I revel in all the different sensations. When his mouth reaches my breast, he releases one nipple from his fingers but quickly encircles it with his tongue while his free hand moves to my back to make quick work of the clasp. Instead of returning that hand to my breast, he slides it down my back and firmly grabs my ass. With one hand on my ass, the other on my breast, and his mouth on my other nipple, he drives me wild and my panties are soon soaked.

I release my grip on his hair and move my hands down his chiseled torso to unbutton his shorts. Because my body is pressed so closely to his, I can only brush my thumb over the head of his penis but this is enough make him moan. He quickly flips me over to lay down on my back and he removes his shirt and shorts before joining me on my bed. His boxer briefs and my panties are our only remaining clothes as he settles between my legs.

He switches his mouth to my other nipple as I slip my hand under his waist band to grip his erection. I marvel at the feel of his silky skin as I move my hand slowly up and down his length. He bites down on my nipple causing my hand to tighten around him and his other hand grips the back of my thigh.

He moves lower as he kisses down my belly and licks along my pelvis, trailing his tongue under the hem of my panties. He settles between my legs, kisses me over my panties, and runs his tongue over my covered folds while I grip his shoulders.

With his index finger, he moves the fabric to the side and swipes his tongue again. I groan at the sensation and tighten my grip on his shoulders while he slowly inserts one finger. His tongue laves along my clit as he moves his finger in and out. When he adds another finger, I gasp and feel my body tightening. I start to feel lightheaded and my hips buck. He rests his free arm over my stomach to keep me in place and increases the speed of his tongue and fingers. My breathing speeds up as I feel my body explode. I moan his name over and over as I ride my high.

He crawls up my body with a satisfied grin on his face and brushes his lips on my forehead as I come back down to reality.

“Close your eyes, Sunshine.”

“But why? What about you?”

“Tonight was for you.”

“JJ -” He silences me with a gentle kiss as he cups my cheek.

“I told you, I’m in no rush. This, us, it’s different, too important to blow through all the stages at once.”

“Will you stay?”

“Are you going to steal all the blankets again?” He shows me my favorite JJ grin as he cuddles in next to me.

“I love you, JJ.”

“I love you too, Sunshine.”

Ch 7

Taglist: @agirlwholovescoffee @obxlife @meaganjm @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @velyssaraptor @http-cherries @prejudic3 @love-youu-softly @rudyismymanperiod @justcallmesams @celestialmaybank @yasminesameh @chaoticbisous @liloddcora @obx-snippets @xx-randomshit-xx17 @thepanmermaid @rudysdiaries @cinnamonandspice1994 @sexualparkour @lasnaro

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literaltrashforeverything · 4 years ago

Text

obnoxious songs they blast while picking you up | pt. 1

Ft. Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Hinata, Kuroo, Yaku, Oikawa, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Daisho

Warnings: Language, dorky boys, some songs are 18+ lmao sorry kids

A/n: I don’t really know where this idea came from. I was just vibing and listening to music and had the epiphany that I listen to obnoxious shit and decided to put some of them into writing and then it turned into this lol. I feel like half the boys in this show are petty as fuck and would do this just because of a small fight. This is also published to Ao3 and there will be a part 2!

Daichi – Bad Boys from COPS

This fucker probably pulls up to your job in a police car, windows rolled down, and blasts this song. Everyone in the general vicinity is just staring. You are too, but you’re staying in place because your husband is the worst human on earth.

He points at you and motions for you to get in the car, smirking.

You can’t even see his eyes. He’s wearing the classic cop aviators.

Honestly, fuck this guy.

You’re head is lowered as you shamble toward the car, face red, before getting in the passenger seat.

“I’m never asking you to pick me up again, Daichi.”

“Awe, you love it, babe. Plus you’re riding in style.”

This isn’t what you’d call style, especially when he blasting this particular song.

He even has the audacity to turn on the sirens and the lights as he drives away from your workplace.

You’ll have your revenge. . .

Sugawara – Can-Can by Offenbach

You think the person pulling up in a car that’s blasting Can-Can is a genius while also being extremely annoying, until you realize that’s your genius but annoying ass husband.

Sugawara rolls down the window and smirks at you. He’s trying to look cool, doing the whole single-hand on the steering wheel and one arm out the window thing.

And really, he would look cool if he wasn’t playing Can-Can.

“Twerk for me babe.”

You pull the hood of your jacket up and awkwardly walk to the car.

Your face is bright red, but let’s be real, the second you are both in the car together you’re headbutting your asses off to Can-Can because it’s an amazing song.

Fuck y’all if you disagree.

(Jk I love you anyway)

Yeah, he blasts Can-Can a lot at home just because it's amazing.

Usually he does it before cleaning the house because it's very motivating.

Tanaka – Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes

First off, this is the best song that’s ever been created in the history of music.

You can fight me on that.

Anyway-

Tanaka pulls up in your guys’ mini van because it just had the oil changed, and as payback for making him drive a mini van, he thinks he’ll be a little cooler if he just blasts the most badass song ever.

It’s really not. . .

Everyone is staring at Tanaka because for some reason your mini van has hella bass so it’s just vibrating everything in the general vicinity.

You stare at him, smiling, but internally raging. Your husband stares back, smirking widely and very mischievously.

He even dares to lean over the passenger seat and open the door for you.

“C’mon, baby. Get in and be cool with me.”

Hinata – Fur Elise by Beethoven (Klutch Dubstep Remix)

He’s not even trying to be embarrassing. He’s just legitimately vibing with this song when he picks you up.

He probably just got out of volleyball practice, too, so he’s in a tanktop and shorts, sunglasses on his head, and looks like he’s on top of the world as he waits for you to come over to where he’s pulled up and he’s literally headbanging to the song.

It takes you like a whole minute before you realize that’s literally your husband.

You’re like *surprised pikachu face*.

Just let him vibe. . . Don’t ruin his vibe. . .

You just go to the car and get in the passenger seat quietly. He doesn’t even notice because he’s vibing so hard. He’s doing hand movements and everything, as if he’s the one playing the piano.

When the song ends and he sees you sitting there, his face just lights up.

“Hey, baby! How was work?”

You smile and go on to tell him about your day. You don’t bother to tell him that your entire workplace just witnessed him aggressively headbanging to Fur Elise.

Kuroo – WAP by Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion (but the Rihanna S&M mashup)

You and your husband had a fight earlier that morning. It was over basically nothing (it was about you not making him breakfast because you woke up late -.- This petty fucker—), and you did not apologize to him.

Never let a fight linger with Kuroo’s petty ass.

You watch your husband’s car pull up to the curb, where you’re waiting for him. The music could literally be heard from three blocks away.

Kuroo rolls down the window, smirking, and turns to you.

Deadass, this fucker is shirtless, and wearing aviator sunglasses that he casually pulls down to look at you from over the rim. His hair is even slicked back and he looks hot.

His arm is dangling over the steering wheel and the song is just blasting.

“Hey, kitten~”

Your face is absolutely burning. Everyone in the general vicinity is staring at this shirtless, attractive motherfucker who you unfortunately chose to marry.

“I’m not making you breakfast for a week, Kuroo.”

You don’t even call him by his first name even though you literally have the same last name as him.

“What!? >:(“

This is probably how he picks you up everyday until you make him breakfast.

Yaku – S my D by Blood on the Dancefloor

This is another case of the man being a petty bitch because of a minor fight.

You may or may not have called your husband short earlier this morning, and you both laughed it off after he scolded you for calling him short. You genuinely thought it was over with until. . .

. . . he’s picking you up for work.

You didn’t even know this song existed until this exact moment, but the lyrics are so vulgar.

Yaku has all the windows down and is screaming this song as it blasts from the speakers.

You deadass just turn around and pretend you don’t know him.

You’re literally five seconds away from just walking home, honestly.

“Isn’t that your husband, Yaku-chan?” one of your coworkers asks.

You glance at the car where your husband is still jamming.

“Hm, nope. Don’t know that guy. What a weirdo.”

Yeah, everyone knows you’re married to that lunatic but no one says anything.

Oikawa – I’m a Barbie Girl by Aqua

Why wouldn’t he? This fucker probably thinks he’s a living Ken doll.

Jk, but seriously.

You guys had a fight a whole week ago about his haircut. All you said was that he should cut it a little because it was growing into his eyes and he gasps like you’ve just murdered his whole family.

Yeah, he’s dramatic.

So, the next time you ask him to pick you up from work? Well, he’s obviously playing this song and he’s actually jamming to it.

He’s wearing sunglasses and staring at you like he’s staring into your soul.

He only sings the Ken parts and points at you at the Barbie parts like he expects you to actually sing back.

You’re so embarrassed because everyone is staring.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows the obvious implications of the song so all the older people around are mildly horrified.

“C’mon, Barbie. Let’s go home,” Oikawa says, winking.

You’ve never wanted to murder your husband as bad as you do right now.

Matsukawa – Skibidi by Little Big

First off, go watch the music video if you haven’t.

. . is this even a surprise?

Your husband is chaotic and he probably forced you to learn the dance with him. You both will randomly turn it on at inopportune moments and fully expect the other person to start the dance (someone do this with me).

You shouldn’t be surprised when your husband pulls up, looking innocent, before beginning to blare the song with all the windows rolled down.

Suddenly he looks like a maniac with the way he’s grinning.

Your jaw drops to the ground and you just stand there for a moment in shock.

Your face is bright red but you’re smiling stubbornly as you begin the horrific dance.

Matsukawa laughs. He literally gets out of the car and starts dancing with you like an idiot.

Everyone is watching in awe and honestly they should be jealous that you guys have so much fun.

Best husband.

Hanamaki – I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers

This is probably a common occurrence honestly. This bitch is chaotic as shit so if you think he wasn’t going to be harassing you every time he picks you up then you’re wrong.

At this point it’s just a challenge to see how far he can go.

Pulls up blaring this song and rolls down the window revealing him to be wearing a beach-themed button up (ya know, the classic dad ones) and he’s smirking like a fucking maniac.

Points at you just before the chorus.

You’re smiling like an idiot because he’s just so stupid and lovable.

“I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE~!!”

He’s screaming so loud that you can’t believe his vocal chords haven’t snapped.

Maki starts doing the rope-pull thing and you play along and go to the car.

Yes, you guys sit in the parking lot screaming that song together until it ends.

Honestly, everyone at your workplace just thinks your husband is the coolest guy ever.

Daisho – Daddy by PSY

Probably thought he was the funniest guy on the face of the Earth when he pulled up to your job blaring this song. He looks like a real cool guy, too.

Sunglasses, short-sleeved shirt to show off muscular biceps, slicked hair.

Ya man has the whole shebang.

You just stare at him, jaw dropped when Daisho turns to you with a smirk. He’s nudges his sunglasses down a little to look at you over the rim.

“Hey, babe,” he greets, too casually for your liking.

The music is so loud that you barely even hear him.

His smirk only stretches wider when he sees your growing embarrassment.

“C’mon, you like my body, just admit it!” he calls.

You get into the car before he can keep talking. You quickly roll up your window but the other three are still down and you know in your heart that there’s no escaping your husband’s will to embarrass you.

“I’ll get payback.”

“Sure you will, babe.”

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in-tua-deep · 4 years ago

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tua s1 rewatch - end

Less bc I am tired

Episode 8

I still have no idea how old Claire is supposed to be

Honestly Patrick was like... the first person who enforced boundaries and enacted consequences on Allison tbh and she didn’t even hesitate to use her powers even though they’d clearly discussed it before

I heard a rUMOR YOU LIKE BROCOLI?? WHICH SIBLING DID SHE USE THAT ON?

Roommate making the realization face about Leonard’s new prosthetic eye

Vanya our here like “my teen bullshit actually has a body count” a la heathers

Klaus not remembering his first is depressing but given by the fact that luther seemed surprised a girl was in his bed and had to check if he was naked indicates that,,, luther doesn’t remember his first either

Five knows EXACTLY where the aspirin in... buddy tell me you are taking stronger pain meds when you are getting shot and knifed

Pogo out here like “it was a difficult choice for both of us” like grace had a choice at all considering her programming was literally altered

I agree with luther tbh “there’s always a choice” damn

Tag yourself I’m five with his head in his hands with probably a killer headache

Leonard: it’s not your fault what happened to those guys

Roommate: yeah dude I’m pretty sure it’s yours

I love Agnes bless

The Netflix subtitles spell oof as ouf and idk what to do with that

Roommate theorizes that tua takes place in New York with the evidence that the cop dude says that Diego is being transferred up state and New Yorkers say that

Babie Vanya looks like kids I know tbh

Leonard keeps looking more unhinged and awful the longer I look at him tbh

Vanya gives Reginald one (1) tiny scratch and he decides to drug her and emotionally abuse her for the rest of her life :/

Five limping into the bar: CONTINUITY

Luther really said “hmm think I will launch into a depressive episode”

Maybe cha cha should take a nap and then maybe she’d calm down instead of bloWING UP GRIDDYS I forgot she did that

Sergeant cheDDAR I forgot his name was fucking CHEDDAR - all I can think about is the dog from b99

Vanya blease your boyfriend is a serial killer

Okay Leonard was definitively and canonically thirteen for the murder of his father

Vanya out here with her chemicals being WACK bc of cold turkey quitting her whole ass meds designed to numb her emotions like ouch

But also Allison is this the right time to tell ur sister that you were used to erase every shred of self confidence she ever had and also make you forget her cool ass powers

Vanya be like “look me in the eye and tell me you’re not threatened now” like yeAH VANYA YOURE BEING PRETTY DAMN THREATENING RIGHT NOW

Episode nine (I think?? I didn’t realize where the episodes switched over)

Leonard has directly killed at least three people so far but one (his dad) definitely deserved it and indirectly killed at least two more

She doesn’t even really get scOLDED FOR KILLING THE NANNIES JUST HER NAME IN A FIRM TONE NO FUCKING WONDER SHE KEPT ON KILLING

Huh does that mean vanyas body count is higher than Leonard’s?? There were at least three dead nannies and she killed those two dudes as well 🤔

Five doesn’t even bother insisting on volunteering bc he is thirteen and has also already lost a lot of blood I mean seriously

The whole making klaus get up by throwing a knife at him... sibling moon although Diego has a lot better aim than MY sister who always managed to hit me in the face with anything she threw at me :/

Leonard is poking the bear here and I really don’t know what he expected when vanya straight up kills him

“I really don’t know what he expected to get out of that.” -roommate

Aannnndddd check for five again on the “klaus heart to heart” list with that addiction discussion

Five is SO BEYOND giving a fuck by the time hazel shows up and five offers him a margherita ... he can’t even be bothered to get up and interfere with Diego and hazel

Though to be fair five does have a GUT WOUND so smashing a bowl over their heads is valid

Roommate: more scripts need to have hugs in them

Me: ...not this one

Roommate: w,, why. Why. You find out your sister has powers and instead of being a reasonable person you choke her

I’m blaming pogo for this as well because luther wouldn’t have known about the basement soundproof vault that luther put her in :/

Like pogo painted the WORST picture and told them about the people she killed and everything which informed luthers decision to lock her up which,, Vanya was a little kid with no real concept of death

“Maybe while he’s here he can pick up something new to wear” - roommate while five dropped Dolores off at the department store

Luther isn’t guarding Vanyas cell 24/7,,, the others could have done something or like?? At least stayed down there with her? So she isn’t horrifyingly alone thinking she’s been left to die?

Episode ten

I erased reginalds weird alien origins from my mind honestly because... I just don’t care about him. Like. At all? Fuck this man I wish he didn’t exist in s2 :/

The mansion really do be a walking house of triggers for Vanya huh

“I’m going to posit something. Pogo has no culpability as a being of his own free will, he’s just a second hargreeves. He’s just a second pair of hands to what hargreeves intended. He’s just a walking mouthpiece.” - roommate but that’s okay because I hate Reginald more than I hate pogo actually

I’m okay with pogo dying tbh and even the roommate isn’t exactly torn up about it

Goodbye mansion

Me, remembering this is the last episode: it’s been 84 years...

Five coming in late to find the academy in rubble like :0

Wow I still really hate the handler speaking Yiddish and the unfortunate implications that it has, just in general

“I have to respect she went home to change into formal wear and apply eye liner before ending the world” - roommate on Vanyas concert outfit

I’m amused by the bowling and the shoes but sad about the content :(

Five this is what you get from accepting candy from creepy women honestly

He just DITCHES

Why is Allison even salty at luther for sleeping with a girl. She MARRIED a man and had a child and Luther wasn’t salty I don’t think?

I feel like the handler could have kept five there for way longer before he caught on tbh

Agnes has had... a day

Luther and Diego are DUMBASSES

Ben taking care of BUSINESS

Roommate has questions about when exactly Vanya was photographed to put into the promotional material for the concert and honestly?? Now I do as well especially since they established Vanyas suit was at her apartment

“IS THAT A SUPER POWER INDUCED COSTUME CHANGE? Ya love to see it” roommate on Vanyas white outfit

Five really didn’t need to jump and also like BRO HE HAS A SHRAPNEL WOUND

Oh we can’t let Allison do any heavy lifting bc of her throat

Five has a GUT WOUND

As someone who had appendicitis and had to get that shit our gut surgery fucking sucks I couldn’t do shit for like a week and a half

Sibling energy is immediately rejecting fives plan then being like “okay what is it”

Their fucking bowling shoes I’m still yelling about it

THE END

and a picture of my cat bc i accidentally put it in here so enjoy a mia

#tua rewatch #done with s1 lads #actually finished it monday night and forgot to post this oops #will move onto s2 SOON #finally amiright #far tua long #long post

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erumai-maadu · 4 years ago

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@rock-n-roll-lee here’s the nejiten oneshot you bullied out of me (jk ily and I wanted to write this for you hope you like it)

Modern AU, established relationship, fluffiest shit I’ve ever written.

word count: 1351

warnings: none

---

“Tenten? Hey, Tenten, wake up. We’re at your apartment.”

The sound of Lee’s voice pulled Tenten out of the haze of sleep. The chill of the window against her cheek reminded her that this, unfortunately, was the real world, which meant she had to get up to get back home. Opening her eyes, the harsh glare of a street lamp immediately assaulted her vision, making her squint.

She let out a little groan as she slowly sat up, her body aching. “Sorry about that,” Tenten mumbled, bending down and rummaging around for her bag. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Not finding it, she reached into the back of Lee’s truck, feeling around blindly in the dark.

“No problem. After all, anyone would be tired after what you did today. You were so awesome, Tenten!”

“Aww, thanks Lee. You did really well too!” Finally finding the strap of her bag, Tenten hauled it into her lap, wincing as her muscles protested the exertion. “Kami, I’m gonna be so sore tomorrow. I’m gonna have to skip out on our daily run.”

“I do not blame you. I think I’ll do the same, honestly.”

“Yeah, I get that.” She smirked at him. “Gives you an excuse to spend some quality time with Gaara in the morning.”

Lee flushed bright red at her implication and sputtered a bit before regaining control of himself. “Speaking of significant others, Neji comes back from his trip in a month, right?”

Tenten sighed, mood immediately soured. “Yeah, but he hasn’t texted in days.”

“What?” Lee demanded. “He hasn’t texted? That is very unlike him! You should call him and inquire what the matter is.”

“Tried that. Went straight to voicemail.”

“Seriously?” When she nodded, Lee yanked his phone out. “I’ll call him right now. If he picks up, he’s in for it.”

“Don’t bother.” Tenten waved her hand dismissively. “I’m too tired for this shit. I’ll try Hinata’s phone tomorrow.”

Lee’s eyes were filled with concern. “Are you sure, Tenten?”

“Yeah. It’s okay, Lee.” She smiled at him. “We know Neji. He’s probably just busy with some job that Hiashi-san gave him. Honestly, I’m pretty sure he’s trying to work Neji to death so he doesn’t have to hand the company over to him.”

Lee nodded, concern still etched into his expression. “I suppose. Let me know if you need anything at all, Tenten.”

“Thanks, Lee.” She opened the van door and stepped out, shielding her eyes from the brightness of the streetlamp. “Have a good night.” The door slammed shut, the noise echoing through the empty street in the dead of night.

“You too, Tenten. Don’t forget to stretch and get a good night’s rest. You earned it.” Lee shot her his signature Nice Guy Grin. “Congratulations on winning gold.”

They waved goodbye and Lee drove away as Tenten scanned her key card to get into the apartment complex. She painstakingly made her way up three flights of stairs and finally reached her door after what seemed like ten years. Fumbling with her keys, it took her three attempts before she managed to unlock her door and step inside.

In a haze of exhaustion, she removed her shoes and dumped her bag somewhere on the ground, the medal inside making a loud clank as it hit the ground. Shuffling into her bedroom, she flopped down on her bed and let out a sigh of contentment, already half-asleep.

“Tenten.” A deep male voice came from behind her, startling her awake. Who the hell was in her apartment? Shooting up, she looked for the source of the voice and found her gaze locking with a pair of lavender eyes. The breath rushed out of her.

“Neji,” she breathed, not daring to believe this was real. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you in America? You’re not supposed to be back for another month.”

“I asked Hiashi-sama for early leave. I missed you so much.” He smiled, stepping closer. “I also wanted to watch your tournament, but my flight was delayed. I got here about ten minutes before you did.”

“Is that why you haven’t texted for the past few days?”

He nodded. “It was a hassle, trying to get Hiashi-sama to approve my absence, and then he tried to shove as much work as he could at me before I left. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I totally get it.”

“I’m going to take a shower.” He took another step forward and slipped his hand into hers, squeezing once. “Join me?”

“Neji I don’t have the energy for—”

“Not like that. We’re both too tired for that.” He let out a warm little laugh and squeezed her hand again. “Just getting clean. Then we sleep.”

“Okay.” She allowed him to pull her up and out of bed.

A short shower later, they dressed and dried their hair, Neji gently removing the tangles from the rat’s nest she called hair in a way only he could do.

(“Don’t call it that!” he admonished. “Your hair is beautiful, just like the rest of you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck.)

Neji’s hair, of course, was smooth and silky with minimal tangles, even after two days of airplane travel because the universe was unfair like that.

“Frickin’ Hyuuga and their magical hair.”

“Magical hair?” Neji asked, his voice full of amusement.

“Two days of airplane travel and like three minor tangles? That’s the definition of magical hair.” She ran the comb through, marveling at the easy slide. “You’re like Rapunzel or something.”

“Does that make you my prince then?”

“Obviously. I’ll ride in looking all dashing and handsome and save you from the tower and take you on a wild adventure.” She yawned, exhaustion crashing like a wave over her. “Well, maybe we can go on a wild adventure tomorrow. For now, I need to sleep.” She stood up with a sigh and took a step in the direction of the bedroom, but Neji hadn’t moved an inch. Turning back to him, she frowned. “Neji?”

“In a way,” he started slowly, “I suppose you did save me from a tower.”

She stared at him for a moment. When his meaning finally became clear, she let out a soft huff of laughter. “Huh. Well, I suppose I did.” She walked over to him and pulled him up, planting a small kiss on his mouth that was more smile than kiss, in all honesty. “You’re such a dork, Neji.”

Neji laughed and stood up, gently tugging her in the direction of their bedroom. She gladly followed him, throwing herself on the bed and snuggling under the covers as quickly as she could. Neji switched off the lights and slipped in next to her, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her to him once again.

“I’m glad you’re back.” She shifted even closer to him, letting her forehead rest on his neck. He smelled like lavender, from her soap. The scent reminded her of the color of his eyes, which was part of the reason she preferred that soap in the first place.

(She’d been using lavender-scented soap since middle school, but he didn’t need to know that.)

“It’s good to be home. I heard you won gold in the competition?”

“Yeah, I did. It was super hard, though. Remember Karui? The girl from Kumo? I fought her in the finals. I just barely won.” She was probably slurring her words, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Ah. No wonder you were so tired when you got home. Lee dropped you off, didn’t he? I saw his truck outside.”

“Yeah. That green hunk of junk is hard to miss,” she grumbled.

He laughed, the pleasant vibration of his chest lulling Tenten further to sleep. “It certainly suits him, I suppose. It matches his jumpsuit too.”

“Mmh. It does.”

Neji let out another soft laugh and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Ah, sorry for talking so much. Go to sleep, my love. We will talk more in the morning.”

“G’night. Love you.”

“I love you too, Tenten.”

#nejiten #listen I wrote this while I was half asleep #I think that's why depictions of exhaustion are more detailed than my depictions of cuddling #also bc I'm touch starved and haven't gotten cuddles in a long ass time #erumai writes fic sometimes #if this is bad I'm sorry I really tried #I haven't slept in so long #I should give rock-n-roll-lee his own tag

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eddiesquinnsworld · 4 years ago

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Walk The Red Carpet

So this is my first fanfic! So please be kind as I was so nervous to upload this. I haven’t seen any fanfiction that represented us disabled gals so I took the job on as a disabled gal myself. I’m by no means a writer and this is probably terrible. Also I do have dyslexia so I might have missed out a word here or there.

There’s a bit of swearing in this and mentions of a panic attack but apart from that it’s pure fluff! Enjoy!

Today was one of those days, one where your mind was so chaotic and busy with pointless thoughts. One where your mind was frantically telling you the same unhelpful things constantly. That you were never enough and you’ll never be enough, this was all thanks to your mother because from a young age you were always the last thought, the inconvenience and the girl who fault it was for everything.. you just weren’t enough. You’d been through therapy and counselling multiple times, and it seemed to help calm those intrusive thoughts and you started to become an independent woman who didn’t need no one else.

But the reality was you were a young woman with multiple disabilities which meant you needed more help than you’d actually admit, your dreams had been dashed when your consultant said you were too ill to continue with education. This meant that you spend a lot of time at home with your dysfunctional family constantly checking on you, blood pressure checks, medication to be taken at certain times, physiotherapy to complete and regular hospital and doctors appointments to attend.

Also being a full time wheelchair user meant all your friends ditched you, because you ‘couldn’t be fun’ as you always had to plan ahead. As somehow not every location is wheelchair accessible, this did piss you off but it not like you chose this life so you just accepted it. Basically you were alone in this world, however you found solace in filming videos and uploading them to YouTube weekly, because it was something you had complete control over and meant you could share your experiences to others.

You also had gotten to a point in your life where you wanted to start dating again after a 3 year break because up until then the guys you’d talked to took one look at the wheelchair, and either started acting distant or ran a million miles. You couldn’t keep count of how many times a guy had asked you if you could have sex and after that shit show experience you decided to quit the dating game, believing you’d never find your ‘Prince Charming’.

But you thought surely not all guys were pricks, so you started hanging out in bars again to see if Mr Right would walk in. Then if by luck after 3 months of waiting for a miracle, he did.

It was his ocean blue eyes you saw first glancing at you, that made you blush because he was quite possibly the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Within seconds, he was besides you. “What’s a beautiful girl like you doing alone in a place like this” he said grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “oh you know just waiting for my prince charming” you replied with a hint of sarcasm in your voice. He held out his (rather large) hand for you to shake “Well my name’s Henry and I hope I’ll do for now”

That was 2 years ago, now you’re in the middle of a global pandemic with the love of your life in a cottage in the English countryside. You’d both been together 24/7 for the past 4 months and it had been bliss, waking up together in the morning, baking together, watching Henry play his favourite games and snuggling on the sofa in the evening. However you knew it would come to an end eventually, today was that day.

Henry had been called back to work on the Witcher, you’d visit the set occasionally but you didn’t want to get in the way too much. So you stayed at home and made yourself busy. However this was when your anxiety took over and that one thought crept in your mind again.

‘You’ll never be enough for him’

Tears started to escape your eyes and your breathing started to quicken. A panic attack. You didn’t want to bother Henry on his first day back so you got on the bed and curled in a ball and let the panic attack take over your body, until you heard the front door close and a familiar deep voice “hello darling I’m home”

Henry looked everywhere for you and called you several times but he got no response, he knew something was wrong instantly. Once he made it to the bedroom door and saw you on the bed, curled up and shaking.

“Oh sweetheart what’s happened?” He realised straightaway that you were having a panic attack and he also knew exactly what you needed. He laid on the bed next to you moving your head onto his chest and securing you into tight embrace. He learnt from previous attacks that you needed to feel safe and protected, also having seen many of your panic attacks over the last 2 years, he also understood the implications they had on your health. “Darling I need you to steady your breathing or you’re going to pass out on me”

After 10 minutes your breathing became calmer and slower so you could finally tell him what happened. “I’m so sorry Hen, I’m such a mess. I don’t know what you see in me? Surely you want more than this… more than me” You gestured down your body whilst trying to stop tears falling from your eyes.

He pulled away from you so he could look into your eyes. “I see the most beautiful, intelligent, strong and caring woman I ever met. I watch the way you deal with pain everyday, without complaining and it astonishes me. I see how strong you are by getting out of bed everyday when somedays your body really doesn’t want you too or how you get on with your day making sure everyone else is ok and forgetting about your own needs.”

You process his words for a minute feeling how they warm your heart but your brain takes over again. “But don’t you want a woman that can actually walk the red carpet with you without all the pity looks and stares. How can I ever be enough for you, ‘the great actor Henry Cavill’, you see what they write about me, they act as if you need a medal because you decided to love someone who’s disabled”

He seems generally hurt by your words and you can instantly tell you’ve hit a nerve “I’m not the one needing a medal, you are! You are so inspirational to me, I honestly feel ashamed for all the times I moaned when I pulled a muscle when I know you deal with far worst pain than me everyday.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of the best way to say his next sentence.

“Plus I decided to love you not because you’re disabled but because you wanted to know the real Henry, the man away from the cameras. You fell in love with me as a person not as an actor and you have made me feel love like I have never felt before, I love waking up to your beautiful face every morning knowing that you chose to love me… so if anyone needs the medal it’s you”

“Also just because your legs don’t work properly doesn’t make you any less of a woman to me. Anyone who decides to defines you by your chair, the thing gets you around is shallow and isn’t worth worrying about so let them write what they like, because all that matters is that we love one another… in sickness and in health. Anyway, I’d rather have you by my side on that carpet in your wheelchair with all the looks and stares than some woman who can walk and doesn’t love me and support me like you. They’re only staring because you’re so damn beautiful and they’re jealous that you chose me as your date” You stare at him in awe wondering how you got so lucky.

“That’s how you see me? You know I’m not as strong as you make out right? I love you so much because you’re the first man to see me as person and not as my disability.”

“Plus what do I need a medal for, loving you is easy, I mean one look at you and two no one has made me feel the love you do. With you I feel ‘normal’ and like I could conquer the world. You know I love supporting you, walking that carpet with you knowing my boyfriend is so talented at what he does, but I just worry, I sometimes take the spotlight because the tabloids seem to focus on ‘Henry Cavill’s disabled girlfriend’. That’s why I thought maybe you’d like to have someone that could actually walk” You look down as your eyes well up again. You can feel your anxiety bubbling up inside you. Henry places his finger under your chin to lift your head up.

“I mean I think walking can be a bit over-rated anyways. Plus as I said most of the women I’ve been with who could walk don’t have your massive heart and kindness, so I think I’d rather show you off as my girlfriend” You both chuckle as he wipes your tears away. You grab his hand bringing it to your lips as you look into those ocean blue eyes you fell in love with.

“You really think the world of me don’t you and that makes you the most amazing man I’ve met. I’m glad I met you in that bar 2 years ago because you’re the best thing to happen to me”

“Yes I do because to me you are ENOUGH”

Insomnia

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x disabled reader

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justalittlebluetiefling · 4 years ago

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Friendship, Fuckery, and Fey

Words: 3684

Look, I used the title! I come up with the perfect title and then I can’t write a proper introduction to save my life. Go figure.

Anyway, I wanted to look into the conversation between Artagan and Jester a little deeper and writing is how I figure out what I’m thinking, so you all get this thing, whatever it is.

Disclaimer/Reminder: Dudes, I don’t hate Artagan. I think he’s complex, interesting, layered character and watching Matt play him is a genuine delight. And he’s an Archfey on top of that, which makes him even more complex. I am inherently suspicious of everything, so there’s a good chance that we’re not going to agree on what any of this means. I’ve also never been quiet about my distrust of The Traveler, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that’s been following me for a while. I look forward to potentially being proven wrong by the narrative.

To quote Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: This is the problem with fey. They don’t tend to lie. They tend to tell just most of the truth.

I debated how to set this up and decided that I’m going to dissect small chunks of the conversation and go from there. I’m just going to get into it, because I’m assuming that’s what you’re here for.

Artagan: Hello, Jester Jester: Hi. Artagan: What’s wrong? You look so.... Jester: This guy. Here. He’s real... he’s a... he’s a dick, man. Like, not in a good way. Like.... Artagan: There’s a lot of them out there. You’re not wrong. Jester: But this guy, like, this whole island is weird. It’s like opening - look at this waterfall! Have you ever seen anything like that? This doesn’t count as a question. Like, come on. Artagan: That is quite impressive. I mean, from a mortal standpoint. There are some places in the Fey that are just mindboggling. That is - Jester: We need to go there. Artagan: One of these days. Jester: (over each other) Can you take everyone there? Artagan: (over each other) You are welcome to. Jester: Can we sleep in the Feywild? Artagan: I would prefer not to go back. But you’re welcome to go any time you’d like. I’ll just keep my time here as well.

I don’t have a lot to say about this really. It all seems pretty normal. But I do like that Matt has loosened the interaction rules for Commune to open it up for conversations like this between Jester and Artagan. She asked three yes-or-no questions in this tiny section alone, but he stayed around for a longer chat. I... just dig the whole thing.

However, it also makes total sense to me that Artagan wouldn’t have told Jester much, if anything, about his time in the Feywild. Since he has no interest in ever going back. But it makes me want to know what would happen to him if he goes back? I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that he needed Vox Machina to build him a doorway to the Material Plane for some reason that remains unnamed. Matt give me your notes!

Artagan: But I’m sorry, you brought me here for a purpose. Did you have any questions? Jester: People lose their memory here. They could be here for two or three days and then they get stuck here forever. Did you know that could happen? Artagan: I... I was aware. Jester: Like, I understand if, you know, you want to get rid of some of your followers, we talked about it, it’s okay, you know. Like... a few of them could stay, but I don’t want to stay.

So... here’s the deal. I’m going to get into the Artagan morality now as opposed to later, because I feel like it. I’ll get into Jester morality later.

Fey are, in a sense, amoral. Hmm... maybe that’s not what I mean. Their sense of morality does not tend to line up with the morality of someone from the Material Plane. The rules in the Feywild are different. Honestly, I don’t even know how to approach this without trying to apply a human moral code to it. I guess... my feelings on this? I love a gray morality. I love the confusion and angst that comes with it. But like... defending an archfey by saying that they don’t have the same morals as us seems kind of weird to me. That’s exactly the point? They don’t have the same morals as us? So everything that he says should be taken with a grain of salt.

Artagan does care about Jester. I believe that. But... he also didn’t warn her about what was on Rumblecusp. He knew there was a Morkoth there. He knew that people were losing their memories here. And I guess this is where we have to decide why him not telling her doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It’s more that he didn’t think it was a big deal not to tell her. His favorite. He sent her in blind. Whatever you feel about an archfey’s morality, by our own standards, that’s super fucked up. That’s like you being deathly allergic to bees and me sending you to pick something up for me at a farm that also happens to be a bee rescue place and not telling you about that part. (Okay please don’t judge me for that comparison it was the only thing I could think of and I’m aware how silly it sounds.) Do I know that something could happen to you? Yep. Do I want something to happen to you? Nope. Do I send you anyway? Yep. Do I care that I sent you into danger? Nope. Do I care that it makes you think I don’t care about you? Yep.

See. Complicated.

Anyway, one other thing I want to talk about before continuing is Jester’s relationship with faith right now. She’s been struggling since the reveal that he’s not a god. She’s been struggling since she realized that she needs to put on her mask around him, too. He threw her entire world out of place with that reveal. And I can’t help but focus on what that means for Jester and how it has affected her. This change in their dynamic has been a problem for her. It is hurting her. And she is still frantically trying to cling to her faith in their relationship. It doesn’t bother her that he wants to get rid of some of his other followers, as long as she isn’t someone he wants to get rid of. She used to believe that he wouldn’t do that to her and here? She’s starting to doubt, saying it out loud, because she wants him to tell her that it’s not true. It’s yet another crack in the foundation of their relationship.

And... he does tell her that it isn’t true.

Artagan: You’re not going to stay. Jester, Jester, Jester, Jester. (takes her hands) Please don’t ever think that I’m not looking out for your best interest. And I wasn’t planning to leave them all here. It was more of a backup plan if things didn’t work out well with the Travelercon thing. You have to have a series of layers for something like this. (Jester sniffles) Oh, dear thing. (Puts his thumb on her cheek) I... I don’t mean to put you through this. I was never going to abandon you or leave you to this. If things went sideways when we arrived, I would’ve just plucked you and everyone else of import - Jester: Everyone else, too? Artagan: Everyone else of import. Jester: My friends? Artagan: Oh, your friends? Yes. Of course. But... let’s be honest. There are a few individuals on their way here that are more of a pain in my ass. Let me tell you, trying to charter this many ships from the middle of the Menagerie Coast? Jester: It’s a lot. Artagan: A lot of paperwork. Jester: Yeah. Artagan: I’ve been busy. I hate it. I hate all of this. I’m excited to be done. But no, I wasn’t going to abandon you and your friends.

Oof, okay. My first reaction here was super visceral. This is where most of my distrust started in the conversation, to be honest. He doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the Mighty Nein. That’s not news. He likes that they’re helping keep an eye out for Jester, yeah. But if they hadn’t had this conversation, I’d put money on him only grabbing Jester and leaving the rest of the group. I mean, remember. He didn’t think it was a big deal not to tell her about the memory loss. I’m sure that, in the heat of the moment, he wouldn’t think it was a big deal to leave her friends behind. Jester had to push him twice and even then, it felt like an afterthought. They’re something tangential to Jester. They don’t matter to him.

We also don’t know what the Traveler thinks is in Jester’s best interest. Hell, we don’t really know what Jester thinks is in her best interest. Her reactions to this conversation are where we should be taking our cues from, to be honest. Whether or not she’s comfortable with any of this.

Also, this makes me really, really curious about his other followers. Jester was his first and will always be his favorite, but what if there are a few more that he genuinely likes the way he likes Jester? There have to be a couple. It’s the way he said ‘everyone of import’ that made me start thinking about it. There’s an implication that Jester isn’t the only one on the island that is, however he defines the word, important to Artagan.

Jester: So, do you think we should get rid of this weird Vo-greedy guy? Artagan: Perhaps. If you don’t think there’s much of a purpose or a way to make him useful.... Then.... I mean, what other choice is there? Jester: Do you want to fight him? Artagan: Me? I don’t fight. I... hedge my bets on those who fight for me. Jester: Yeah.... Okay. You promise? You promise? Artagan: I am of a kind of entity that promises are binding. Makes them dangerous. Makes them easy to regret. But binding. And. I. Promise. Jester: Okay.

OKAY. This is where we’re going to get into real arguments, I bet.

Look, I get it. He said the words “I promise”. BUT WHAT DID HE PROMISE?

There are a lot of possibilities here. This is so open-ended. Matt has so many ways he can play this. He could be promising that he never intended to abandon her here. He could be promising that she’s not going to stay on this island. He could be promising that he wasn’t going to abandon her and her friends. He could be promising that he hedges his bets on those who fight for him. Jester didn’t specify. A Fey cannot knowingly tell a lie. Yes. But they are masters at manipulating the truth. If we can’t judge him using our morality, we have to be willing to acknowledge that this probably extends to the way he interacts with people he cares about. Including Jester. Because it’s not the same thing to him. It just isn’t.

So, what does this mean? If he can’t tell a direct lie?

I was aware

He knew something on the island was sucking memories and decided to use it to his advantage if Travelercon didn’t pan out. But how did he expect Travelercon to pan out? What is the purpose? What is the end goal?

Please don’t ever think I’m not looking out for your best interest.

What does he think is Jester’s best interest? Would Jester agree? Is it in her best interest to travel the world creating chaos with him alone? Is it in her best interest to forget him?

I wasn’t planning to leave them all here. It was more of a backup plan if things didn’t work out well with the Travelercon thing.

He wasn’t planning to leave them all here. Again. What is the Travelercon thing? What is the end goal? He still hasn’t said. We know he wants to abdicate responsibility, right? So, what’s the plan to do that after gathering his followers?

I don’t mean to put you through this.

Yeah. He cares about her. He hasn’t intended for his actions to hurt her and they have. He’s aware of this and how she’s upset by the shift in their relationship.

I was never going to abandon you or leave you to this.

He was never going to abandon her or leave her to this. But... he didn’t say that he didn’t intend to leave her there at all. He could leave her there for 50 years and then go back and that wouldn’t be considered abandoning her. Or he could have intended to sweep only Jester out of there.

I wasn’t going to abandon you and your friends.

After a little pushing, he agreed that he didn’t intend to leave her friends behind either. So, for now, the Nein at least have a backup escape plan, although we don’t know exactly what that means. And if they die fighting Vokodo, he doesn’t have to worry about extricating them as well.

I hedge my bets on those who fight for me.

I mean, that’s pretty easy to take at face value. He’s not really one for direct confrontation.

Look. Maybe i’m being paranoid. But Fey always make me nervous. In a fun way? If that makes sense. It’s like a logic game. How many different ways can this sentence be interpreted? What have I possibly gotten myself into? Like... *CR1 SPOILERS* remember how Vox Machina got out of the whole threshold crest thing by stone-shaping a Whitestone crest in the threshold of one of their doors? And Garmelie/Artagan had to accept it, because it fit the letter of the promise, if not the spirit? I feel like you need to always look for the loopholes with Fey beings.

And again. Yes. Artagan said the words “I promise”. But the loophole is literally right there. He promised nothing explicitly.

Artagan: And I’m sorry if you felt abandoned. I... there’s no excuse I can put other than the fact that things are a little crazy right now and I (laughs). Oh, mortals are a special breed. Jester: Hey, man, maybe a dragon turtle will take out a couple of the boats on the way here. Artagan: Well, I don’t - I don’t want them dead necessarily. Jester: No, I mean, that would be - that would be terrible. That’d be terrible.

Oh, yay! Jester morality time! I’m not going to go too in depth, but I’ll make a couple notes.

I love this. It’s so amazing, because you can see the way Jester’s opinion on morality was shaped by her time growing up with Artagan. It’s been clear through the entire campaign. The time Fjord said they agreed not to put anyone in harm’s way in an excessive manner and her response? “When did we agree that?” The way that Caleb assumes she’s sweet and innocent and would be upset to find out he murdered his parents? (That’s something Liam said on Talks, btw, I’m not making that up.) And Laura, on the other hand, is like, dude. Jester wouldn’t care.

Jester’s morality is very much shaped on how the actions of others affect her and her friends. This person is her friend, so what they do is ‘good’. Or, even if it’s not good, she’s going to back them up. The conversation with Fjord in the Uk’otoa temple? “Just don’t be evil to me, okay?” I mean, if Fjord had decided to free Uk’otoa? She would have helped, because he’s her friend. She cared about the way it affected and hurt Fjord more than anything. She doesn’t care that Beau or Nott or Caleb were in jail for anything. She doesn’t have the same reservations about lying to people that others do. (Hmm... someone else want to write something up on the way the different members of the Nein view lying??) She doesn’t have the same reservations about killing people. It’s just... yeah. She’s chaotic neutral. Okay, I have more thoughts on this, but I’m going to save them for the conclusion.

Artagan: The plan was, if things went wrong, at the very least they’d be left here to live a nice life in a village with some people, you know? They weren’t going to be hurt. They just would’ve forgotten some thing. Jester: Yeah, that’s true. I mean, they’re living a nice life and nobody seems to hate it with their memories gone. Artagan: Right?! Jester: But I don’t want to do it! Artagan: And you won’t be! It was never even part of this. I should have clarified it. You’re right. I should’ve been a little more forthright with some of this information. Jester: I’m here extra days! You know? Like, extra time. That’s extra risk! (deep sigh) I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you. Artagan: It’s all right. I would’ve come back. Jester: Okay. Artagan: Hey. you wanna see something very pretty? (makes the Tusktooth logo appear on one of the moons) Jester: That’s pretty cool.

This is kind of more in the morality vein as well, but it feels separate from her individual morality. Jester once again asserts the fact that she doesn’t want to live here. She doesn’t want to forget things. And Artagan apologizes and says he should have been more forthright with the information. All while continuing to not be forthright of what his actual plan is.

He also makes sure to mention that he would have come back. Again. Fey can’t tell a direct lie. Maybe he means he would have rescued her right away. But I still stand by something I said last weekend. Artagan doesn’t want this responsibility anymore. If he has to lose Jester in order to get out of it and go back to a life of fun, he would. It’s an acceptable sacrifice to him. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t genuinely care about her. He just cares about himself more. He cares about how this is affecting Jester, but he cares about how it’s affecting him more.

I don’t know you guys. Like I’ve said over and over. He’s fun. But I still think there’s reason to worry.

Final Thoughts

If anyone thinks I’m ever ignoring Jester’s morality, because I think she’s the sweetest, I can promise you that’s not what I’m doing. I think her morality is sketchy af but really funny, the same way I view Artagan’s tbh, but the difference is in how she cares about the rest of the Nein. Which is also what she cares about, by the way. She loves them and cares for them so much. She does so many sweet things to show that. She paints a mural of wildflowers for Yasha. She pretends she’s going to offer up her hands to a hag and tricks said hag with a cupcake for Veth. She buys Caduceus the cookbook about mushrooms, because she knew he loved fungus and cooking. She uses her special paint to create a parasol for Essek so that he can have a small shield from the sunlight.

But she also takes every opportunity to fuck with everyone she comes across. Her little pranks are hilarious, but if you put yourself in the shoes of that priest of Bahamut? Probably not so great. And do I care? No. What I care about is that Jester has fun. That goes for this Traveler thing, too. And right now it’s hurting her. A great deal. She cried for a long time after that conversation was over. If Jester ultimately says “fuck it” and runs off with The Traveler, I’d be super sad, but more power to her. I just want... I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to get hurt.

I guess I think there are two options here. There are more. But these are the two I think about a lot.

One: Artagan doesn’t want to intentionally hurt her. He doesn’t seem to want to intentionally hurt anyone. But when he says he doesn’t want any of the dead. He adds necessarily. If he managed to get out of having all these followers because some of them died. Eh. An unfortunate side effect. He didn’t want it to happen. But maybe he’s willing to give every single one of them up, including Jester, if he can go back to his carefree life.

Two: Artagan loves Jester enough that losing her would hurt him. This encompasses a lot of things. What could he lose her to? Death? Her losing her faith? The Mighty Nein? A romantic relationship? Another friendship that has somehow become more important? Honestly, there are lots of threats to their relationship. And this kind of ties into the way that I think the Nein are an afterthought for him. He doesn’t currently view them as a threat, but he’s also been very busy lately. He values them as protectors for Jester, but she doesn’t necessarily need protection. She’s strong on her own. So... let’s say Jester decides that she doesn’t believe in the Traveler anymore? What would a scorned archfey do? What have we seen, historically, in this game? Legit, I am all about Saundor 2.0. I’m not sure I think it’s the most likely, but I would love to see this play out in their narrative. Because I’m a sucker for angst. Have I not mentioned that enough?

Anyway. I guess that’s it. The message? Don’t blindly trust Archfey? No. That’s not the message. The message is that this is complicated and painful and making for a super fun story, but it really sucks to see Jester cry.

#critical role #the traveler #jester lavorre #cr meta #cr spoilers #i didn't intend to write this today but it happened #yes i blamed percy for making me hyperaware of everything artagan ever says #and wanting to dissect every single word from every single sentence #LISTEN #some of the things i say in here are so dumb like dorky dumb #i am aware of how silly this got in places #don't remind me that there was probably a better comparison out there lol #the bullet list in here is awkwardly formatted sorry

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citrineghost · 4 years ago

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100 Humans on Netflix

So there’s this neat Netflix Original show called 100 Humans. I immediately got interested in it because they take this group of various humans from different backgrounds, age groups, and so on, and they use them to conduct experiments to get answers to interesting questions.

So, right away I had concerns about this show because

If you know anything about data and statistical research, you know 100 people is a very small sample size and does not breed accurate results

However, I’m very curious and wanted to see what they came up with anyway. I watched all 8 episodes and, honestly, I enjoyed watching it for the most part. However, I have a LOT of issues with the show and how it was conducted and I want to list them out here.

If you’re interested in watching 100 Humans or have already watched it, please consider the following before taking any of the show’s data as fact.

100 people is a very small sample size. This is because, the more people you have, the more weight each increment in your percentages has. With 100 people, each person represents 1 entire percent. That’s a lot. That means even a few people giving incorrect answers, having off-days, or giving ridiculous results (such as you can see in the spiders georg meme), can sway the entire result of an experiment into unreasonable territory. This is why most scientific studies attempt to get data from many hundreds or even thousands of people. The bigger the sample size, the more accurate it is to the entirety of the world.

I’ll put the rest under the cut because it gets long

The 3 hosts, who I’ll refer to as the scientists (regardless of if they actually are, because I’m not sure and don’t feel like googling it) repeatedly make false statements. For example, in one episode, they told their humans to “raise your hand if you believe you’re less bigoted than the average person here,” to which 94 people raised their hands. One of the scientists then made the statement, “If that were true, it would mean only 6% of Americans are bigoted.” This statement is entirely false. The only way to actually determine a true meaning to that would be to determine at what percentage of bigotry you are considered a real bigot. You also must consider that believing you’re more bigoted than other people in a small group, who you already have an impression of, is not necessarily indicative of how you feel you measure up to America as a whole. Anyway, I could go on and on. The only way to accurately summarize the results of that question would be to say that 44% of the humans had an inflated sense of righteousness or something of the sort.

The 3 scientists, both in person and in narration, for the sake of entertainment (if that’s what you call it) continually made “jokes” that poked fun at different groups, implied men are shit, etc. Maybe that’s fun for some people, but the kind of jokes they were making to amp up the hilarity of their host personas was genuinely just uncomfortable and made me feel even more like they couldn’t be trusted to go about unbiased research.

The scientists continually drew conclusions where the results should have been labeled inconclusive

The scientists made blanket statements about certain groups based on 1 element of research that would not stand up to further evaluation. For example, when explaining that ~93% (i think it was about that number) of Americans have access to clean, drinkable, tap water and yet some large number of single use bottled waters are sold every year, one scientist said it was because people believe bottled water is safer and cleaner than tap water. I am going to do my next survey on this to see if my own perception is flawed, but I simply don’t believe that all of the people who buy bottled water do so because they think its cleaner than “tap” (as if all tap is the same.) I know there have been studies about people drinking unlabeled bottled water and tap water and not being able to tell the difference, but this neglects to account for the fact that different houses pipes can affect the taste of the tap water running through them, people can use disposable bottles of water for certain activities or events too far away from tap for people to refill their reusable bottles easily, and so so so much more. Anyway, it just really bothers me to see “scientists” making these kinds of generalizations when they’re the ones whose results we’re supposed to trust.

The show was incredibly cisnormative. There was an entire episode based on comparing men and women that made me extremely uncomfortable with its division of people by men and women. There was the implication that all men have penises and all women have vaginas. There were implications that reproduction is a necessity in picking a partner. It was just a shitshow. There was one comment by one subject who asked, when being told to separate by men and women, “What if I’m transgender?” Obviously I can’t say for sure, but this person didn’t appear to be transgender and the sort of tone it was asked in makes me think it was literally something they asked him to say in order to get inclusivity points with the viewers and to “prove” that they’re not transphobic by having them divide up, because they said to go to the side you identify with. This whole thing is a) harmful to nb folks who would not have had a side to go to and b) completely negating the fact that the way we were socialized can have an effect on our social responses. That means that for a social experiment, a trans person could sway the results of one side due to their upbringing and the pressures society put on them before/if they don’t pass. This is all assuming they had any trans people there, which is potentially debatable. I also take issue with this entire fucking episode because just, the amount of toxicity in proving one sex is better than the others is really gross and actually counterproductive to everything feminist and progressive. Not to mention, them implying that they’re trying to support trans people only to reinforce the notion that a trans man is inherently lesser for being a man when even prior to hatching, he would have also been force fed propaganda and societal pressure implying he’s less than for supposedly being a woman is really gross and makes me angry. The point of what I’m saying is that it’s actually not woke to hate men as a way of bringing women up because there are men who are minorities who are being hurt by the rise of aggression being directed at them for their gender. Anyway enough about that.

The tests drew false conclusions because they did not account for how minorities adapt to a world that’s not made for them. This is specifically directed at the episode where subjects were asked to match up 6 people into couples. There were 3 women and 3 men and the humans were asked to put them together into pairs. they could ask the people 1 question each but then had to match them up with only that information. The truth is, the people brought in were 3 real life couples already, which the humans didn’t know until after they matched them. The couples were m/f, m/m, and f/f. I think that’s great, but the problem is, literally none of the humans asked any of them their sexuality as their question and most people didn’t even consider they could match up same-sex people. One girl even thought that they had told her to make m/f pairings, even though they didn’t. The scientists concluded from the experiment that the humans have a societal bias toward people, and assume they’re all straight, even if they, themselves, are not straight. I personally believe that was the wrong conclusion to draw. You could see some of the queer humans were shocked that they hadn’t considered some of the pairings might be gay. But, I don’t think it’s because they believe everyone they meet is straight, I believe this says more about what they expected from the scientists themselves. If someone is in a minority and they go to do something organized, like a set of experiments, they are going to be judging the quality and setup of the experiments by those designing them. I feel that the lack of consideration that the couples might be gay has a lot more to do with queer people having adapted to a world where queers are rarely involved or included in equal volume to the cishets. The queer humans taking part in the experiment and failing to guess gay couples shows that they have adapted to a world where they are excluded rather than a belief that every random person that they meet is straight. My point is further supported by an expert they had on the show who explained that, statistically, it was entirely likely that they were all straight and that even queers will account for being minorities by going with what’s most likely. The truth is, we are surrounded by a whole lot of straight people. It makes sense to assume only 6 people are all straight and that, if any aren’t, they may be bi.

The scientists frequently broke an already small sample size into even smaller groups. The group was very frequently broken in half, in thirds, or into sets of 10 people. These sample sizes tell us almost nothing actually conclusive.

The experiments/tests frequently were affected by peoples abilities, unrelated to what was being tested. For example, one test that was broken down into 6 people and 6 control people competing at jenga was meant to show whether needing to pee helps or hurts your focus. first of all, sample sizes of 6 are a fucking joke. Second, this completely ignores these 6 people’s actual ability to play Jenga. If someone sucks at jenga with or without needing to pee, them losing Jenga when they need to pee says exactly fuck all about whether needing to pee affected their focus. They should have tested people’s Jenga skills beforehand, counted the amount of moves they made before the tower fell, and then did it again after hours of not peeing to compare their results. This test made no logical sense at all.

The scientists ignored the social effect of subjects knowing each other as well as duration of events during their last experiment. They were testing to see if people with last names near the end of the alphabet get a shittier deal because they go last in everything where things are done by name order. They tested this by doing a fake awards ceremony where they gave out some 30 awards to people, gauging the applause to see whether the people at the end got less hype and therefore felt worse about themselves than those in the beginning who got the fresh enthusiasm of the audience. the results showed that the applause remained fairly consistent throughout the awards. The issues with this test are numerous, but here are the three I take most issue with. 1) the people here all got to know each other very well over the week it took to make the show. People who know each other and have become friends are much more likely to cheer for each other with enthusiasm, regardless of how long it’s been. On the other hand, polite applause from a crowd at, say, a graduation, where you are applauding people you don’t know, WILL start off more raucous and grow very quiet except for individual families near the end. 2) the duration of the test was a half hour, which is not very long at all and doesn’t say much to test the limits of enthusiasm. Try testing the audience at a graduation with a couple hundred graduates that also involves the time it takes to walk all the way up to a stage a hundred feet away, accept a diploma, and then wait for the next person. These kinds of events take hours and nobody keeps up their enthusiasm that long unless they’re rooting for someone in particular. 3) this study tested only one of many many ways name order affects a person. Cheering and applause is only one factor. It does not take into account people having their resumes looked at in alphabetical order and therefore people at the beginning of the alphabet being picked before anyone ever looks at a W name’s resume. It doesn’t take into account a small child’s show and tell day being at the very end of the school year, after 6 other people have brought in the same thing they planned to. No one cares about their really cool trinket because they’ve seen a bunch like it already. This test doesn’t take into account how many end-of-the-alphabet people just get straight up told, “we ran out of time. maybe next time,” when next time doesn’t really exist. I feel genuinely bad for the girl who suggested this experiment because the scientists straight up said something akin to, “lmao her theory was bs ig /shrug” even though it was their own shitty research abilities that led to their results.

They did one experiment intending to see how many people have what it takes to be a “hero.” The request for this test was made by someone curious about the effect of adrenaline and if it really works how some people say. The scientists thought it an adequate method to determine an answer by testing their reflexes with a weird crying baby sound and then dropping a doll from above while they were distracted with answering questions. The scientists looked up before the doll dropped to indicate a direction of attention. While this does give some answers about peoples intuition, reflexes, and ability to use context clues, its entirely an unusual situation, makes no sense in reality, fails to take adrenaline into consideration literally at all, and has a lot more to do with chance. The person dropping the doll literally couldn’t even drop it in the same place from person to person. Some got it dropped into their lap and others almost out of arm’s reach. This, like a few of the other mentioned experiments, was during the last episode, which felt lazy and thrown together last minute, with very little scientific basis to any of the results. The last episode was weak and disappointing overall.

One of the big issues I have with this show is actually their repeated use of the same group. They said at the end that they had done over 40 tests. Part of doing studies is getting varied samples of people in order to get more widespread results. Using the same 100 or less people (already a tiny sample) repeatedly is a terrible research method. You’re no longer studying humans at large. You’re studying these specific humans. You can’t take the same group with the same set of inadequacies, the same set of skills, and the same set of biases and then study them extensively and in many different ways like this. Your results are inherently skewed toward these specific people and their abilities. I expected them to at least get a new group each episode - every 5 or so studies - but no. They keep the same group all week, which makes the entire season. This is inexcusable in research imo.

The next issue is contestant familiarity. The humans all getting to know each other is great, socially, but it also destroys the legitimacy of many of the studies that involve working together or comparing yourselves and your beliefs

Many tests had issues with subject dependency. One study, meant to compare age groups and their ability to work together to complete the task of putting together a piece of ready to assemble furniture had each group with members they relied on entirely. A few people built the furniture while one person sat across the room, looking at instructions with their back to the others. They had to relay the instructions through a walkie talkie to another contestant and that other contestant had to relay it to the people they’re watching build the chair. You cannot study a group’s ability to build something with instructions by the ability of one single person to communicate. You’re testing that individual and the rest of them on two completely different capabilities. One person fails at being able to communicate and everyone else becomes unable to build the furniture. Even if everyone else in the group is more effective than all the other groups at building ready to assemble furniture, they might end up falling in last because of their shitty communicator who is literally not able to convey simple instructions. (yes, this actually happened in the test)

One test judged the subjects at their speed of getting ready, to see if men or women are faster at getting ready. While most elements of this test were just fine, the part I took issue with was that they did this test without regard to social convention. They told the subjects they were going on a field trip and to get ready by a certain time. Then, they gave them many things to get distracted by, like refreshments to pack with them, a menu to preorder lunch from, and so on. The part that upsets me about this test is that they ignored social convention entirely, to the point that subjects were judged based on their conventional actions and expectations more than their actual speed at getting ready. The buses promptly shut their doors and left at the time they were supposed to but there was no final call to get on the buses. In general, when a group is to be taken somewhere by bus, there will be an announcement to load up and leave. You could clearly see many of the subjects were ready to go and were just standing around talking while they waited for fellow subjects to finish getting ready. I have no doubt that, if given a final call, most of them would have loaded up within a couple minutes. However, they were relying on the social convention of announcing departure and were therefore, left behind entirely (for a nonexistent field trip). These people who were left behind were counted as being late and not making the time cutoff. If one were to look at the social element of this situation, if everyone there believed there would be a warning before departure, the fact that 24 to 14 women to men were loaded onto the buses at departure doesn’t necessarily indicate the women were faster to get ready. It seems to me that it’s more likely to indicate anxiety at being late and a belief that they need not impede on anything lest they be reprimanded or have social consequences for taking too long - something women are frequently bullied for. There’s also the chance that many who boarded without final call are more introverted or antisocial. Plus, we can’t forget to include the people who have anxiety about seating. If someone is overweight, has joint pain, or has social anxiety, they will be more likely to board early to get a seat they feel comfortable in. If they had counted up all of the people socializing and waiting on the sidewalks nearby, they may have found that there were more men who were ready to board up at a moment’s notice. I’m not saying I think men are faster to get ready, I’m just saying that we can’t know based on who boarded without a final call. If people believe they will have a last minute chance to board, a large number of them will take the last few minutes to socialize with their new friends until they’re told they have to board. Therefore, this test cannot be considered conclusive without counting and including the people who were ready and not boarded as a third subset.

Honestly, I could go on and on about how sensationalist and unscientific this show is, but I just don’t have 6 more hours to contribute to digging up every single flaw with it. There’s A Lot.

My point is, if you feel like watching this show, which I don’t necessarily discourage inherently, I just beg you to go into it with a critical eye. Enjoy the fun of it and the social aspects, but please don’t rely on the information provided and please don’t spread it as fact, because it’s not.

It’s entertainment, not science.

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maliby · 5 years ago

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When The Night Comes | CH. 2 (special Halloween chapter)

↬ Pairing: Jimin x Reader | Taehyung x Reader ↬ Story Genre: smut, angst, vampire!au ↬ Warnings in this chapter: blood, violence, death, gore, horror shit ↬ Word count: 5.6K ↬ Summary: Your school has two courses: the day course, and the night course. Rules say that it’s strictly forbidden for both courses to interact but can you really follow the rules when you see the same eyes that have been showing up in your dreams for months on a mysterious hot guy from the night course?

↬ a/n: this is a special chapter with a little bit of horror to celebrate Halloween. If you get too scared or don’t like to read this type of stuff don’t worry, it’s just one little scene. Happy Halloween <3

tag list: @godzillagirl-14 @joons-dimple94

CH. 1

You were in a state of shock, your thoughts all scrambled into one big mess trying to make sense of everything. “You erased my memories?"

"Do you really think I would let you leave while remembering everything about this place? I couldn't risk it." His velvet-like voice was hypnotizing, almost like he was trying to keep you from completely freaking out.

"So if you erased my mind then why do I keep seeing your eyes in my dreams? Are you like new at this or something?"

Your question was a genuine one, and in no way did you intend for it to have the effect that it did on him. It seemed like you had just hit some sort of nerve, the change in his demeanour making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

"I can guarantee you that I am no amateur." The way his silver eyes sparkled was telling you that he was part mocking you, like he knew something you didn’t. He clearly didn’t like to be called an amateur, and something was telling you that he was way more powerful than you thought.

After a few moments of silence, he decided to go back to the conversation as nothing had happened, catching you off guard. “I guess your mind retained my eyes in your subconscious and latched onto them.”

“Does that ever happen?”

“Not that I know of,” he said nonchalantly.

“Then why me?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that you’re back here, so I’m gonna have to erase your memory again.”

He was moving closer to erase your memories when you placed your hands on his firm chest to stop him. “Wait, wait!”

“If you think I can let you go back to your normal life knowing the secret about my kind and this place you’re wrong.”

“How many times have you erased my memories now?” You asked, capturing his interest.

“Four.”

“Four times? So, four times now, I’ve wandered back in here even after you’ve erased my memories. Don’t you think it’d be safer if I remembered that there are vampires in here? What if I wander back and someone tries to eat me again?”

“Again?” Something about your statement was making him all tense again, like he didn’t like that someone tried to eat you. Maybe it was because there was some sort of rules, but you couldn’t help but have the feeling that this went beyond the rules.

“Well, he didn’t really try to eat me he just...nevermind.” You were too embarrassed to tell him that a guy you had just met touched you over your panties and you liked it. Not that there’s any shame in that, it was just that that was usually not you.

“He what?”, Jimin insisted.

“He...touched me.”

“Who?”

“He said his name was V…” For a moment it seemed like Jimin was blinded by some sort of rage, and for the first time, you felt really afraid. Those silver eyes were piercing and haunting, like you were back in one of your nightmares, making you even more scared. All you could hear was him mumbling ‘that rusty piece of shit’ before you decided to reassure him that everything was okay. “He didn’t force me to do anything”.

“That doesn’t matter,” he stopped for a moment to take a big breath, realizing how angry he was getting. “I’ll let you leave with your memories, but you have to promise not to come back here. It’s not safe.”

“O-okay,” you didn’t know why he was so bothered by V, but you were glad he was going back on his commands and letting you leave with your memories for the first time since you’d started coming in here.

“I’ll take you back to your dorm,” he said after a brief moment of silence.

“Isn’t it against the rules for you to go to the daywing?” you asked, realizing that he might get in trouble for taking you back.

“You’re worried about the rules? Weren’t you the one who said a big ‘fuck you’ to them when you came in here in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t worry, if I happen to get caught I’ll just tell the truth. I’ll say that I found a very curious girl from the day course wandering around our wing and I was just making sure she was escorted safely back to her dorm.” You could note a slightly mocking tone in his speech like he was finding it very funny that you would clearly be in trouble because of him.

“What? You can’t do that! I’ll be in trouble!”

“I guess some people only learn their lesson once they’re punished.”

You felt your cheeks burn at the implications of his words. For a minute your thoughts were carried to a dark and lustful place, where this handsome brunette with hypnotizing silver eyes would tie you up and do sinful things to your body. You just couldn’t help it, it seemed like when it came to these vampire boys your flesh was way too weak.

“Come on, it’s getting too late for good girls,” he started walking away, leading you out of the nightwing. As you walked you couldn’t help but notice that everyone seemed to make way for him. Maybe it was the way his walk conveyed confidence, with his back straight, his chest puffed out and his chin held up high, or maybe he just held a big status in the night course. The more you thought about it the more the latter made sense in your head.

“What are you thinking about?” Jimin asked, catching you off-guard.

“Why is everybody staring at you? Are you like the vampire king or something?”

He chuckled, your curiosity clearly amusing him. “Something like that.”

“So is that why you were in the daywing talking to the president?”

“You are quite the nosy little bug aren’t you? Haven’t you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?” he said in a strict tone, making you realize that maybe you were overstepping your boundaries.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to..”

“Listen,” he stopped you in your tracks, the both of you now being the only ones in the corridors of the nightwing. “I know you mean no harm but I’m going to warn you that the world is much darker than you could imagine, so if you want to be safe and live your normal human life stop asking questions and stop coming into the night wing, because I can guarantee you that you won’t like what you’ll find in the dark.”

“O-okay…” he wasn’t threatening you per se, but you just couldn’t help but feel intimidated.

The rest of the walk back to your dorm was silent. All you could think of was how hot and cold Jimin was. One second he’d be flirting with you and next thing you know he’d do a 180 and be very serious and intimidating. Whatever the case you decided you’d just let him take you back to your dorm in silence and not ask any more questions.

“This is it,” you said as you stopped right in front of the door to your dorm.

“Stay out of trouble, and stop coming to the nightwing,” you heard his voice from behind you as you opened up the door.

“Jimin,” you turned around but were met with nothing but an empty hallway for he had completely vanished. “Thank you…” you whispered.

It’s been a month since you last visited the nightwing or saw any of its students. You obviously never told any of your friends about it. You could already imagine Lisa bombarding you with questions about Jimin and the nightwing. And if by any chance she found out about your little encounter with V then oh boy, would you never hear the end of it.

The dreams never stopped after that night, but they did become tamer, not making you wake up all startled and in a sweat in the middle of the night. Yujin theorized that your subconscious was at peace because you met Jimin and saw that those eyes belonged to something human and non-threatening. She, of course, had no idea of how wrong she was about that last part.

For the past month, even you must admit, that you’ve been very weird. You couldn’t help but doze out and get lost in your own thoughts, but how could you not when your entire notion of the world had just been torn apart? Not only were vampires real - and dangerously hot - but they were living in the same place as you.

Are vampires the only thing that is real? Or are there other creatures that wander through the night? What was Jimin’s warning about? Was he just trying to scare you or was he being serious? More and more questions kept coming up in your mind, and you could honestly say that if your brain kept this up you might actually go crazy.

“Y/N, did you hear anything I just said?” Lisa was snapping her fingers right in front of your eyes, making you wake up from your dozed off state. She had just joined you, Yujin and Eunbin at lunch.

“Sorry Lisa, I was just thinking about something.”

“Jesus Y/N, you’ve been so out of it lately. My ‘boy problems’ sensor is tingling,” Eunbin said as she placed two fingers in both of her temples as if she was using some psychic powers.

“Y/N boo, I’m just gonna ignore the fact that you may be having boy problems and you’re not telling us because I’m just so freaking excited!” Lisa said.

“Okay, first of all, I’m not having boy problems. Second of all, what are you so excited about?” You said as you took a bite out of your now cold cheeseburger.

“So I was just with Chungha, and she told me that this year, for the very first time, the Halloween party is going to have the participation of both the day course and the night course. Isn’t it amazing? We can finally have a go at all those hotties the night course is keeping away from us!”

Your body froze. Is Jimin gonna be there? If so, then how is he going to react when he sees you? Is he gonna talk to you? Then what about V? Fuck, V is definitely gonna talk to you if he sees you.

“Wow, Chungha and Doyoung must be over the moon with this, they love organizing big parties like this,” Yujin noted.

“Yeah, she told me they have so many big plans that they can’t even keep track. She wants the night course’s student body to be blown away by our student body’s party,” Lisa said.

“Do you know why the school has decided to join the 2 courses?” It simply didn’t make any sense as to why the president was allowing a bunch of vampires to go to a Halloween party full of drunk human students. It was like a disaster waiting to happen.

You were sure that the president knew about the night course’s little secret. He just must have. Otherwise, why would there be so much secrecy about the whole course? The only thing you didn’t know was why were the vampires in this school. It wasn’t like you had anything against them, it was just that there was something fishy going on and you wanted to find out exactly what.

“I don’t know. Chungha said the president told her some crap about promoting synergy between the two courses,” Lisa answered as she took a big sip of her coke through the metal straw she carried everywhere.

“Synergy?” Eunbin asked.

“Yeah, who cares? All I know is that this is a great opportunity for me to pick the sluttiest outfit I can find and get me some night course dick,” Lisa smirked, surely already thinking of some option in her head.

It was then you realized the implications of what she was really saying. “No!”, you practically yelled. She couldn’t fuck a vampire! What if he hurt her? Yeah, maybe not all vampires were evil, but was it so bad to worry about your friend’s safety?

“What’s up, Y/N?” Yujin asked, worried as always.

“N-nothing, it’s just that we don’t know these guys. I mean they were kept exclusive for a reason, w-what if they’re some sort of mafia people or...I don’t know,” even you had to admit that that excuse sounded lame as fuck, but it was the best you could think of without sounding absolutely crazy.

Lisa, who was in the middle of drinking her coke, spit all the liquid out, her laughter travelling through the whole cafeteria. “I think Y/N here is worried I’m gonna steal that guy we saw last month from her.”

“What? No!”

“Don’t worry baby, he’s all yours. Sisters before misters right?” She winked at you, letting you know she would not break the girl code. Little did she know that the girl code was the least of your problems.

The day you had been waiting for had finally come - the Halloween party. After weeks of building expectations and endless debates about which costume each of your friends was going to wear, it was finally happening. You must say you had your reservations about the dangers of the party at first, but then you figured that if the president was doing this it was because he thought it was safe.

“Hey Y/N can you help me put this collar on?” Yujin was wearing a Playboy bunny costume, which everyone agreed was the perfect choice for her. She was wearing a black bodysuit, some see-through black tights, black pumps and black satin bunny ears.

“Sure.” As you were helping Yujin complete her costume you heard two knocks on the door, “come in!”.

“What’s up bitches,” Lisa said as she came in your dorm, Eunbin following right behind her.

As soon as you saw their costumes both you and Yujin whistled. Eunbin was wearing a Catwoman costume, the black leather suit hugging all her forms, as for Lisa, she was wearing a devil costume, with a red leather bodysuit, red thigh-high boots, a red devil pitchfork and little red horns.

“Wow girls, are you planning on murdering everyone at the party?” Yujin asked.

“That’s the idea,” Lisa winked. “But looks like we’re not the only ones coming for everyone at the party, look at you guys!”

“Y/N you look so sexy and innocent at the same time in that angel costume! I’m glad you decided to wear that silky white loose mini dress instead of the bodysuit. It looks so much better!” Eunbin came closer to inspect the silky fabric.

“Those wings are to die for! Are they heavy?” Lisa asked.

“No, not at all. But I’ll talk to you at the end of the night after I had one too many drinks,” you said, enticing a laugh out of all of your friends.

“So girls, are we all ready to go?” Eunbin asked, everyone nodding in response.

“Let’s give them hell,” Lisa said as she made her way to the door like she was the captain of your hot bitches gang.

When the four of you got to the cafeteria you were all in awe, for it all looked so amazing that it didn’t even feel like you were in your usual cafeteria. There were so many little details on the decor that you couldn’t possibly even notice them all. The walls were full of cobwebs, spiders, cardboard bats and bloody handprints and smears. The ceiling had several floating fake candles and most impressive of all, glowing ghosts.

“Wow ladies, looking to smash it are we?” Chungha and Doyoung approached all four of you, the both of them masked as Harley Quinn and the Joker, the ever so power couple that they are.

“Oh my god, Chungha this is amazing! You guys must have barely slept taking care of every little detail,” Lisa said.

“Tell me about it, I feel like when this is all over I’m gonna hibernate for a month.”

“Those glowing ghosts are amazing! How did you guys do it?” You asked, amazed at their creation.

“You’d be amazed at what you can do with some saran wrap and duct tape,” Doyoung explained.

“Now if you’ll excuse us ladies, we have to keep circling the party and make sure everything is in perfect condition. Have fun and go get yourselves some drinks,” Chungha grabbed Doyoung’s hand and give you girls one last smile before walking away.

“Thanks Chungha, we certainly will,” Lisa responded.

“Okay, let’s do some shots ladies!” Yujin said.

As the amount of time you spent on the party increased, so did the level of alcohol in the blood. It didn’t take long for Lisa to be sticking her tongue down a sexy fireman’s throat, for Eunbin and Yujin to be playing beer pong (using balls that looked like eyeballs) against sexy Mario and Luigi, and for you to be dancing alone on the dance floor.

You didn’t mind that you were alone, for your slightly intoxicated state made it so you didn’t give a fuck about anything and just let yourself go. In fact, you could say that you let yourself go maybe a bit too much since you started to feel up your body more and doing way more body rolls than you’d usually do, attracting the eyes of almost everyone.

There was one pair of eyes though, that you felt more intensely than all the others - the guy in the skeleton costume in the corner. You had no idea who he was, for his face was covered with a skeleton mask, but the way those silver eyes shined through the black around them gave you an idea. There were only three options: either it was Jimin; another vampire with silver eyes; or just some guy wearing contact lenses. There was only one way to find out though, and that was when you started making your way to him.

As you walked towards him some girl dressed up as the corpse bride accidentally bumped into you, making you break eye contact with him.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“No problem.”

You looked back at the wall where the skeleton was standing by, but he was no longer there. Your mind suddenly remembered that night last month where Jimin took you back to your dorm and disappeared into thin air. You had no idea if that was really him, but something inside of you told that it really was.

“It’s such a shame I’m going to hell and I won’t be able to see an angel like you.” A voice spoke from behind you, a voice you couldn’t forget. lt was that same deep and seductive voice you had heard that night, one month ago. The voice of the whole embodiment of fire and danger - Taehyung.

“Guess I’ll have to enjoy it while I can...my little angel,” he whispered in your ear, making all the hairs on your body stand up.

When you turned around you were met with his signature copperish eyes. Eyes that were burning with sin, and bad decisions. “You’re dressed as a vampire?” you said as you noticed his costume.

“I know, isn’t it perfect? As soon as they told me I had to bring a costume I thought: is there even any other worthy choice?”

“Is the blood on your chin real or fake?” The last time you were with him you weren’t as brave as you were being now, but at this moment all your inhibitions were out the window due to the alcohol.

“Why? Are you jealous?”, he said with a smirk on his face.

“No.”

“Sure,” he chuckled. “How about I go get you a drink? You look thirsty.”

You could feel your panties moisten just by the way he emphasized that last word, and there was no doubt in your mind that he did it on purpose. “Sure, can you bring me a Bloody Mary Margarita?”

“Of course, I’ll be right back.”

As you were waiting for Taehyung you scanned the room and saw that Eunbin and Yujin were now both making out with Mario and Luigi. You searched a bit harder for Lisa but she was nowhere to be found and there was no doubt in your head that she was getting the dick she wanted.

Five minutes passed and Taehyung was back with a drink in each of his hands, “there you go angel, one for you and one for me. Cheers?”

You clinked your glass with his and took a sip of the blood-like cocktail, immediately feeling a different flavour to what you had tasted before. “What did you put in this? It tastes funny.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, a guy accidentally bumped up to me when I was putting the hot sauce in,” he said as he took a sip of his drink.

“No, it’s fine. It’s not that bad.”

“So, are you enjoying the party?” Taehyung asked.

“Yes, it’s amazing! Everything looks great.”

“Good. We want you to feel safe,” he said as he took another sip of his drink.

“Safe?”, you questioned. “Oh...because you’re all vampires?”, you whispered that last word to make sure no one heard you.

“Oh no, it’s because you’re all in danger. Why do you think the president chose now to unite both courses? We’re here to protect you,” he said nonchalantly.

“Protect us? F-from what?” you started to get freaked out, more so because what he was saying actually made sense. Why else would the president forget about his rules now?

“Just some low life rogue vampires that want to make a feast out of all of you.”

“What?” you screamed, getting the attention of everyone who was around you. You wanted to know more, and you knew by the way he was so casually telling you everything that he would do it. So, you grabbed him by his hand and guided him to a secluded place in the garden, a place where you could both talk.

“Oh you naughty little angel, you want to fuck out here in the open like an animal? I love that,” he was starting to get closer to your mouth to kiss you, but you immediately pushed him away.

“Now it’s not the time! What were you talking about? Why are those guys threatening us?”

He sighed, upset he wasn’t getting what he wanted. “They are rogue vampires, they do what they want, and what they want is to have you all terrified as they create a bloodbath and feast on you.”

“Oh my god…”, if you were getting freaked out before, now you were feeling completely petrified.

“They said they would attack at your Halloween party, so the president decided we would join your wonderful party just in case anything happens.” Your face must have shown the true horror you were feeling because right then and there Taehyung held up your hand and gave it a gentle kiss. “Don’t worry angel, I’ll protect you.”

You barely knew Taehyung, but you must say that seeing him being so caring was reassuring. There were no games, no flirting, no second meanings, just pure care, and that was making you feel a lot safer. But not two minutes later you heard the rustling of the bushes behind you, and the fact that Taehyung turned around immediately and put himself between you and the bushes made your fear kick up to a maximum.

“Stay behind me,” his arms spread up and he got in a stance that meant he was ready to attack an protect you.

You grabbed his clothes, like somehow the action made you feel safer, and watched over his shoulder as two deranged looking vampires came out of the bushes. Their eyes were completely red and rivers of blood were running down their mouths as if they had just fed.

“What do we have here?” The taller of the two said.

“She smells absolutely...heavenly,” the shorter one said, making a clear joke about your costume.

“Sorry pals, she’s mine. So why don’t you do yourselves a favour and go running back to whatever stinky hole you crawled out of?”

“Aren’t we feisty for a vampire who is outmatched?”, the taller one said.

“Oh honey, I’ve got tricks up my sleeve you two sleazy dogs couldn’t even dream of,” Taehyung chugged down the rest of his drink and then broke the glass in his hand, now having a large piece of glass as a weapon.

“Bring it on then,” the taller one said as they both got ready to fight.

In a blink of an eye, Taehyung was already on top of both of them. All three of them were moving so fast that you could barely understand what was going on. All you could hear were the sounds of the punches they were throwing each other.

At one point you heard one of the rogue vampires loudly scream, and the splash of blood that flew out made you believe that Taehyung had sliced him with the glass somehow. And then, out of nowhere, you saw the head of the tallest flying to your feet, his headless body crumbling right at Taehyung’s feet.

“You son of a bitch! I’m going to fucking kill you!,” the shorter one yelled out in a rage as he threw himself up back at Taehyung.

Once again, their movements were too fast for you to realize what was going on and who was winning, but since the odds were fair now, you were feeling more positive about Taehyung’s victory.

They kicked, and punched, and threw until at a certain point the sound of a big slash reached your ears and rivers of blood became visible: the guy had stolen Taehyung’s piece of glass and gushed a deep wound in his neck.

You were in absolute horror. You had no idea of how vampires died (besides the reaping of the head, as you just witnessed), but the fact that Taehyung was immobile on the ground grabbing his neck was certainly not good. “Taehyung!” you screamed, immediately letting the glass you were still holding fall down to the floor.

“You thought he was gonna be able to save you, sweetheart?” His sinister laugh made you truly scared for the horrors that awaited you. “There’s no saving you now angel, I’m gonna suck out all of your delicious blood in front of him and he won’t be able to do a damn thing about it.” It was then that the vampire proceeded to kick Taehyung’s head and body like he was nothing but a punching bag.

“STOP!” you ran to him to try and grab him but you were no match for his speed and strength. He grabbed you by your neck and threw you to the floor, your lungs immediately having difficulty to breathe.

“How sweet of you try and save this piece of trash,” he said as he made his way closer to you.

You looked over at Taehyung and you saw him hunched over on the ground, bruises forming and blood coming out of his throat and mouth, blood that looked just like his eyes - copperish red. And then you remembered all the brief moments you spent together. He was a little out there, and maybe he was a playboy, but he tried to save you. He did his absolute best to try and protect a girl he barely knew and now he was on the floor like he was nothing.

“You can look at him all you want,” he got near you and pulled you up by your hair. “He can’t save you now…” his mouth touched your neck and his tongue ran through your jugular, making you both scared and disgusted. “No one can save you now.”

You were so terrified that you couldn’t even scream. You couldn’t even move one tiny muscle, except your eyes, the ones you were closing right now as you waited for the fatal bite that would ultimately end your life.

That bite never came though. The only thing that came was a bone-cracking noise and a fountain of blood splashing on your face. You felt the body of the rogue vampire release you and drop right in front of you. When you opened your eyes you noticed that he was laying headless at your feet. As you looked up to try and understand what had happened you noticed a guy holding up his head - the fireman who was previously making out with Lisa.

“W-what..a-are you? V-vampire?” You couldn’t even speak like a proper person, the events of the past minutes taking a toll on your speaking abilities.

“Yes. But there’s no time to explain, V needs help,” he dropped the head of the rogue and immediately made his way to Taehyung, you following right behind him.

“Fuck! He’s hurt really bad!” the fireman said as he analyzed his injuries.

“W-will he be okay?”

“He needs blood to heal faster.”

“I’ll give it to him,” you promptly moved up closer to him and were putting your wrist near his mouth but the fireman stopped you.

“He’s too weak to take a bite, you’re gonna have to cut it and give it to him,” he looked around and found the piece of glass Taehyung had used to fight against the rogues. He tried and give it to you but you refused.

“Could you do it?” you offered him the palm of your hand. You wanted to help Taehyung, but you were not sure if you’d be able to do it yourself.

He simply nodded and proceeded to cut the palm of your hand, blood immediately pouring out. You put your hand directly on Taehyung’s mouth and waited until he started sucking. The sucking started off slow, but as his wounds began healing and he got stronger the suction became more vicious, making you wince.

“Easy V, we don’t want to kill our little angel here,” the fireman said as he forcefully removed your hand from Taehyung’s mouth.

“Thanks Chanyeol, I owe you big one,” the boy named Chanyeol offered his hand to Taehyung so he could stand up.

“No problem V,” he let go of his hand and started looking back and forth between the two of you. “Okay then, I’ll leave you two alone and go take care of these two dead fucks. Don’t want anybody running up to these.”

“Are you alright?” he asked as soon as his friend Chanyeol left.

“Besides feeling a little weak and being disgusted by all this blood on me, I’m okay.”

“You need to go eat something, take a shower and then get a good night of sleep,” he grabbed your hand to guide you inside but you didn’t even move.

“Taehyung…”

“What is it?” he looked closely at you, worry ran through all of his features.

“Thank you,” you said, before shyly placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Get away from him,” a voice you’ve heard before said from a distance - it was Jimin’s.

As you looked behind you noticed the skeleton man from before getting closer to you, only this time he wasn’t wearing his mask, and he looked really angry.

“Care to explain to me why the fuck is she covered in blood?”

The question was aimed at Taehyung, but before he could even reach the both of you your saviour turned to you and said: “See you in your dreams, angel.” And just like Jimin did a month ago, he disappeared into thin air.

“What did he do to you?” Jimin interrogated as he closely inspected your body for wounds.

“Nothing! He saved me from two rogue vampires,” you quickly tried to explain but it all fell on deaf ears as Jimin noticed the cut on the palm of your hand.

“And this? You can’t get this deep of a cut from a simple fall.”

“Taehyung was hurt really bad, so I had to feed him my blood so he could heal,” you grabbed your hand with the other hand to apply pressure and try and stop the bleeding.

“Fuck! That fucking bastard!”

“Why are you so angry?” Jimin was fucking pissed now and you had no idea why. All you did was try and save the guy who saved you, why was he acting like this?

“There were no rogues Y/N, I’ve been keeping a close eye on everything all night, and I can assure you that there were absolutely no security breaches...he made it all up!” he was running his fingers through his hair in desperation.

“B-but, I saw them! I felt one of them, he grabbed me! How could he have made it all up?” At this point, you weren’t sure which one of you two was the crazy person, if it was Jimin or you.

“It’s his fucking power,” he sighed loudly. “Each vampire has one or more unique powers, and his is to be able to create illusions.”

“But...why would he fake this?” You were in a state of shock, why would he make you go through something like this? Just to have his fun?

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jimin grabbed your bleeding hand and pressed it hard so the blood would squeeze out of the wound, “to get your blood.”

“W-what?” Realization dawned on you. How could you be so freaking stupid?

“When a vampire feeds on a human he can track them down no matter where they are in the world. It doesn’t matter where you are, it doesn’t matter what you do, he will always be able to find you.”

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ramblingguy54 · 5 years ago

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Amphibia’s Season 1 Finale: An Emotionally Charged Climax Of Brilliance

For those who haven’t watched Amphibia yet, or are only halfway through the series, I’d highly recommend not reading this post on the events of Season 1′s finale. This is an episode that should be experienced blind, rather than having it spoiled for yourself, unless you really don’t mind at all whatsoever.

No matter how many times I’ve re-watched Amphibia Season 1 on Disney+, I gotta say its finale was easily up on my list of top moments from animation back in the 2010′s. Amphibia starts off with some pretty simple straightforward slice of life stuff throwing in a nice mix of drama and comedy. Although, as the series has progressed, Amphibia’s storytelling makes it clear we’re in for a bigger shift with dramatic writing once Season 2 rolls around in the future. This last episode of Season 1, Reunion, gives me the impression it could very likely be transitioning into heavier stuff, like Gravity Falls did, when it’s second outing steps up to the plate eventually. Season 1′s finale has seriously impressed me with what it managed to accomplish in its themes that were set up as early as its first episode. We finally get more insight into what Anne’s daily routine with Sasha must’ve been like before she was suddenly dropped into this crazy lovable world of anthropomorphic frogs. What I really appreciate about this backstory is it reels us in just enough with seeing Anne and Sasha’s chemistry. It doesn’t do a big exposition dump about what good friends they are, rather Amphibia just simply shows us first hand. From the get go it’s made crystal clear that Anne and Sasha are very close, seeing how Sasha stands up for Anne when someone tries to steal her food on a special day no less.

Or else you can forget about coming to my awesome house party next week.

Happy Birthday, girl!

Like, extremely close given how happy these two are to see each other. Anne & Sasha’s interaction here is safe to say they go way back before their current school year. Almost as if, they’ve known each other since they were younger.

“Sasha’s been my friend since Kindergarten. If she says it’s fine. It’s fine.”

Anne’s piece of dialogue here makes it evident how much she cares/trusts about Sasha as an individual. Even enough to allow her in doing morally questionable stuff highlighted with this brief montage spotlighting Anne’s passive behavior towards Sasha’s dangerously impulsive attitude. Time and time again Anne willingly goes along with Sasha’s mentality of, “Do whatever we want.”, because in her eyes that’s what being best friends is all about. Giving the other what they want regardless of the moral implications around whatever their actions are. Not to mention, when you take that into account that Anne has been around Sasha since preschool, it’s equivalent to putting your foot down on a family member. Anne doesn’t want to hurt Sasha, considering she’s like the sister Anne never had, being an only child and all. That further establishes emotional weight for something Anne fears to lose out on, which Sasha takes advantage of greatly.

Anne, this isn’t cute anymore. We’re meeting up with Marcy right now! End of discussion...

“Heh! She’s persuasive, right?”

Look, if a friend likes a pencil case, you get it for them. If your friend likes your new shoes, you give them to her. And if her friend wants you to steal a crazy music box from a thrift store, even if you really don’t want to, you do it okay? Because if you don’t, they might not want to be your friend anymore...

Sasha’s serious verbal abuse has made Anne completely twist around the very concept of what a healthy friendship basically is, overall. For whatever the reason at some point, be it the very school environment they both grew up in or personal family issues, Sasha has become an extremely toxic influence on Anne’s important decision making and it painfully shows here in her self-esteem. This kid has made it second nature for herself to never be honest when a friend is doing something that she internally deems highly questionable in moral terms, since she’s so afraid of permanently losing those who claim to care about her own well being. Anne believes it to be a “golden rule” that if you’re openly honest with your close friends, it will only lead to failure in a nutshell. This is honestly one of the strongest elements of Amphibia’s storytelling on how it explores the human condition of real friendship. It’s not sunshine and rainbows, but an honest reflection of who you are as a person. Those you choose to let into your life for better influencing yourself, also reveal your true nature as an individual. These particular lines from the episode, Flood, Sweat, and Tears, sets the mood into motion that vital theme its story centers itself around.

Sharing a room doesn’t make you best friends. Being honest with each other does!

In fact, if you ask me, you’re better friends now than you were before.

Seeing how greatly Amphibia explored this statement means a lot to me, since I myself have struggled with passive aggressive behavior plenty with my own friends. There were social experiences I went through in my childhood that made me bottle up how I genuinely feel a lot, so being honest with my own circle of close friends was a serious challenge for me. While I have come a long way in the improvements of being more honest with my pals whenever something is bothering me, it’s still a never ending struggle I deal with on a daily basis, considering it’s much like second nature to me. This significant moment hit all the right chords for me in showing that beauty of human connections, by taking the good and bad people can experience in dealing with their own differences. Anne’s journey to better understand what real friends are and stand up for herself is a very empowering one to see occur, as she continues to come out of her shell, while putting her foot down when more immoral shit starts to hit the fan. Another giant step forward for her own independence comes to light in the tenth episode, Toad Tax, when Anne wanted nothing more than to be respected by the towns folk, instead of being openly called a monster and getting severely alienated for it, too. Which, again, it really shows just how much Sasha’s manipulation has had a grip on Anne, given she first thought that by joining the Toad force that she’d garner their respect. However, that idea was nothing more than a deeply shallow belief, which would’ve made the town more afraid of her rather than love and accept her.

All I wanted was this town’s respect, but just because these people treated me crumby, doesn’t mean I’m gonna do the same to them. I’m done with this. I don’t care if they’ve broken the law, you can’t treat people like this!

In a very jarring contrast to Anne, Sasha is a more two faced individual with her own motive for getting herself, Anne, and Marcy back home by any means necessary. To put it bluntly and harshly, Sasha is a real bitch hilariously to the point where she is the sole reason why Grimes minions become more competent, due to throwing out fake compliments to help their lack of motivation, since his intensity as their ruthless leader was backfiring greatly. It’s priceless to see a villain’s cold blooded behavior ironically be a big detriment to their rule of power, as other works of fiction have shown it to a “positive” influence on their minions, where a teenage cheerleader blonde archetype has to patch things up.

You lot are without a doubt the most useless group of toads I have ever seen!

Just try saying nice things for a change. Get them to love you and they’ll do anything for you.

That actually works?

Ooooh, it works alright. Trust me.

Sasha’s already cold and calculating manipulation is influenced in return by Grimes heartless nature. Sasha & Grimes combined make for a deadly combination for one Hell of antagonistic duo, but that’s not to say this series doesn’t add layers to this complicated girl. While she is a very toxic verbally abusive person, Sasha isn’t without her own humanity either. Besides lying about being the only human in the world of Amphibia, Sasha genuinely is concerned about reuniting with each of her friends and not just for keeping them underneath her thumb in a controlling fashion. The voice acting here from Sasha’s VA really helps elevate that idea there’s more to her than how she acts.

Hold on for a little longer girls. I’m coming for you and when I find you we’re gonna get home, but first I think we’re gonna have some fun with this place.

By the time Anne and Sasha reunite by the finale, both have changed. Anne for the better and Sasha for much worse. Anne has become more selfless and free to make her own choices that she feels morally comfortable with doing, while Sasha is out to kill Hop Pop, due to his vital actions in earlier episodes, for encouraging more Frogs to rebel against the Toad’s rule of power through fear and violence. Sasha doesn’t view Hop Pop as as an equal living thing, but another obstacle that’s keeping herself, Anne, and Marcy from their one way ticket home. She strongly believes that killing Hop Pop, to keep the other Frogs back in line from having a voice of their own, will allow them a better chance to get back home with help from Grimes. Sasha knows to an extent the terrible thing she’s trying to help Grimes commit, however she still only views Hop Pop as not an equivalent human being, but an already figurative dead frog for them to dissect in their biology class.

So you’ve probably already noticed the Toads in this valley have one job. To rule over the Frogs. And lately those Frogs have been stepping out of line.

Sasha is a serious fucking jerk, but a well intent extremist on wanting to get everyone back home, who doesn’t fully grasp the full context of what horrible atrocities she’s helping Grimes commit through doing this attempted murder.

Anne, what are you doing? Are you really gonna risk your life for these...talking frogs? We don’t even belong here. Don’t you wanna get back home? See your family?

Yeah, but...

Then put your sword down, now!

END OF DISCUSSION...

There we go, that’s my girl.

There that wasn’t so hard was i-

WHAT THE HECK!?

For someone who’s Anne’s best friend, you sure don’t know her very well! She brave, she’s smart, and most of all she’s not gonna be pushed around by a bully like you!

I think I’ve had enough of you, squeaky toy.

Anne, what are you doing!?

Something I should’ve done a long time ago. Standing up to you!

Thanks for believing in me, Sprig.

Can I just say that I love how they don’t try to pin blame on Anne for being consistently manipulated by Sasha? While Anne most certainly needs to stand up and not allow Sasha to abuse her like this anymore, Sasha is the sole person responsible for making Anne feel so insecure, who needed to be put in her place. It was very important for them to make that clear who is at fault here in this situation more than anyone and Sprig was perfect for telling off Anne’s abusive friend. Can’t begin to describe how cathartic it was for seeing that bitch get hit in the face for trying to once again pull on Anne’s emotional baggage. That highly noteworthy moment aside, there is a really interesting exchange between Sasha and Grimes showing how warped Sasha’s definition of friendship has become over the years she’s grown up with Anne in school.

You’ve given me plenty of advice, now let me give you some. Stamp this out. Make her yield. Fail and nothing will ever be the same.

Not gonna happen...

So, taking into account everything that I’ve covered at this point, this makes for a wonderful climatic finale to a slow burn where previous episodes have emotionally prepared Anne for facing down the very person who’s been hurting her most of all. One of her closest friends, who’s been like a symbolic sister in the past to Anne, but has turned into this very hurtful person with a seriously warped idea of an “affectionate” friendship based on similar ideas of control as seen with Grimes. While Amphibia has plenty of comedic shenanigans in its storytelling, there’s always been this dramatic undertone centered around Anne and Sasha’s views of what relationships are all about for what each one has based their ideals on. This Disney series is centered around gaining new bonds, while looking at old ones in a much different perspective, as seen with Anne and Sasha’s falling out.

Anne, you don’t have to do this.

Yes I do...

Anne vs Sasha is an important key moment that the finale nails on every possible level, given each side here has something lose, if the other one wins this duel. These are old friends, or rather family in a sense, standing up for what they think is the right moral thing to do and you can feel this high stakes tension every second as its building up to their swords finally clashing again against one another. Reminds me a lot of the Star Wars battles where it’s not necessarily remembered so much for the fights themselves, but the emotional weight that is carried in every moment which is happening between its characters and I applaud Amphibia for taking inspiration in utilizing that trope of writing.

Much like how DuckTales (2017) handled its amazing Season 1 finale, Amphibia’s writers know the most crucial element to focus more than anything are the characters themselves and what they’re feeling, rather than making it a big flashy battle of epic proportions. Granted, that’s a nice icing on the cake and all, but the real meat should always be in how you’re executing the important themes you’ve introduced from the start. In Amphibia’s case, it’s the tragedy of friendship turning into something nasty with Sasha treating Anne poorly and breaking apart their once stable lives, due to that very nature which dropped them into this world where they have to now fend for themselves.

There’s so much powerful heartbreak emitting from this one pic here and hoo boi we haven’t even gotten to best part, yet. It’s delightfully angsty and shocked the Hell outta me when first watching this episode. Fuck, it still does quite frankly knowing the people behind this show had the guts to go that far dramatically.

They’re just slimy little frogs, Anne.

They don’t matter!

They’re not just Frogs. They’re my friends!

After Anne finally beats Sasha the entire castle starts exploding, due to Wally misinterpreting her on not blowing up Grimes base. Here’s where the most heart wrenching scene comes in as the cherry on top of this intense finale to Amphibia’s first season. As the castle is falling to pieces, Sasha almost falls to her death but Anne catches her in time, despite just fighting her tooth and nail seconds ago to save the family she was trying to kill for her selfish reasons. There’s a crap ton of symbolism here in this poignant moment of characterization for Anne & Sasha’s current state of friendship now. All of this is topped off by the music piece, Lean On Me, being poetically woven into it.

The Plantar family is doing everything in their power to hold Anne up equivalent to how they’ve made her into a better individual than she ever was around Sasha. While Sasha is putting all of them in danger as a figurative ball and chain that, besides holding them back from staying alive, is also keeping Anne from becoming the best version of herself she can be. In these last moments, I’d like to believe Sasha finally put it together in her mind just how much she’s royally screwed everything up. Not just what she attempted to do with Hop Pop and most likely the rest of his family, but how seriously disrespectful she was to Anne for who knows how many years of their friendship when Sasha started abusing her. Sasha was most likely feeling a ton of self-loathing and terrible guilt before making this shocking pivotal decision next in saving Anne and the Plantars’.

Hey Anne...

Maybe you’re better off without me...

Like, on one hand it can be simply viewed as Sasha simply saving these people from dying, too. However, I’d prefer to make it darker for the sake of heavy angst and say she was committing suicide, as well. Sasha realized in these last moments, before thinking that she was going to die a painful death, how shitty she was to Anne. Sasha’s abusive behavior is what started this whole story in the first place. If it wasn’t for Sasha, none of them would of ended up in the world Amphibia to begin with, but it needed to happen for Anne to become better about who her real friends are and maybe this rough experience would even help Sasha, too. We’ll just have to see what awaits for Sasha’s character arc in Season 2′s future. As it stands now, Anne may have a lost a dear friend, who was basically like a sister to her years back, but gained something even better.

A family and terrific friends who care deeply for her.

Hop Pop, you three are my family. I’d never let anyone hurt you.

Thanks for taking the time read this very lengthy post of me gushing about this powerfully bittersweet finale. Can’t wait for Season 2!

#amphibia #anne boonchuy #sprig plantar #sasha #amphibia season 1 #this finale hurt me REAL good #amphibia spoilers #amphibia season 1 finale #ampihiba reunion #amphibia episode 20 #polly plantar #hop pop plantar

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justjessame · 4 years ago

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Babysitting Butcher Chapter 32

Life as a human guinea pig is a strange thing. First of all, there's the questions. The same questions over and over, to the point where the machines and medical doodads and the noise that became almost normal for me, but the questions became the irritant of the day.

"How are you feeling today, Dr. Taylor?" As I'd squint into the bright light being forced into my marrow it seemed. A muttered reply from me, and honestly the same answer in varying degrees of annoyance or acceptance depending upon the day and how many times I'd been asked it so far. "Uh huh, and are you feeling warm? Is there tenderness in your abdomen?" While they poked and prodded, testing skin, muscle, bone and eventually blood.

Did you know the average human adult has around 1.2-1.5 gallons of blood which equals roughly 10 units? I know this because I wanted to be certain that I'd have enough after all the blood testing. Research would either be the way I kept sane or what finally pushed me over the ledge into complete madness, mark my words.

Billy visited, as often as he could, and every single time he'd greet the head poker in residence with his own version of the repeated question game. "How is she? What's the bloody progress?" At which I would inevitably check the arm that seemed to be their favorite vessel for bloodletting. "How much longer?" And then he'd meet my gaze and focus his attention on ME, rather than on my medical condition.

Yes, I was calling it a condition. If I let the reality of my situation fully grip me, then I'd scream. And I had moments of it, trust me.

How would you feel if every single time the man you loved walked in and spoke about your person as though you were a petri dish experiment before reminding himself, through sheer force of finally SEEING you, that you were in fact the woman he loved?

Now take that feeling you just got from that scenario and add the annoyingly taunting voice of the caped asshole who caused this whole fucking irritating bullshit situation reminding you that you fell in love with a man for whom hatred of supes is as natural as inhaling. Feeling just a hint of discomfort? Just add the sound of beeping, buzzing, and dripping to remind yourself of the fact that this was all happening while I was being held hostage as a "let's see what happens if we try this mixture to counteract the demon juice flowing through her veins" was tried over and over.

Strained. My nerves, body, and brain felt strained. Even after the feeding tube was gone and Billy could kiss me. Even after I was given the go ahead to work from my hospital bed. Frayed would be a kind way to say how absolutely on edge I felt.

And the worse part? I felt like I was missing something. Something important. Something paramount. Just out of reach and as though, even surrounded by my laptop and notes, something that was keeping me out of an important loop.

The longer that I stayed in the 'undisclosed medical' location, the more that I wanted to be anywhere else in the world. Literally anywhere. I started to yearn for Bolivia and the Black Ops team that had gotten caught up in the web of a rogue agent and 'died' implicated in a massive fuck up of epic proportions.

When a rational woman who knows how the inner workings of other people's brains and behavior follow reliable patterns starts thinking fondly of the heat of a tropical place where she had to wade through more red tape than most people would assume humanly possible to unravel the truth, all while hearing the type of rumors about the men she was trying to clear and resurrect from faked death, then shit has hit epic levels of horrible. It did remind me to contact that team to see how their return to their former lives had worked out, and wonder if their leader had gotten over his own tragic ability to attract murderous women.

I wanted to go further than the small courtyard deemed safe enough for me to explore, and near enough to make them taking me off the dialysis machine after another fun round of 'clean her blood again' reasonable. I wanted to sleep in my own bed and watch television at my discretion without interruptions for another round of the questions and poking I wanted, in short, to be back to normal already.

I might have been empathizing with Billy's urge for the Vought wankers (his word, I swear) to find the magic solution so life could go back to the routine we both wanted a return to. Or I might have been trying to only see the positive outcome, since there was a creeping feeling that maybe, just maybe there wasn't an easy fix or a fix at all.

A month passed, with my cabin fever slowly increasing by the day, and with it my internal and external temperatures. Oh yeah, that's right, I might have forgotten to mention that while the steaming was at bay, now it was just my actual body temperature that would fluctuate and freak every single fucking person all the way out. When Billy said I nearly went "nuclear" he hadn't been joking, apparently I could have fucking exploded like a goddamn human time bomb and I didn't want to consider just how fucking messy that would have been for the janitorial staff.

Finally, maybe because I wanted some type of control about the questioning, I started asking some probing ones of my own. And what I found, when they would meet my eyes and answer me as fully as I wanted, was that that creeping feeling was growing more likely.

The issue wasn't simply that they didn't know which variation of Compound V that Homelander had me infected with, it was that as they broke down the components and addressed each one, my body didn't simply fight their attempts, it attacked itself. The asshole, it would appear, had basically chosen the self destruct version, and it was trickier than any puzzle these 'real doctors' had ever come across. I was truly feeling the confidence of having a toddler performing my brain surgery with this knowledge.

Oh and that wasn't all, even IF they figured out how to 'neutralize' the formula inside of my bloodstrain, then there was a probability that I could pass it on to any future children. Isn't that some kind of amazingly poetic bullshit to hear after you chose to evict a foreign invader from your uterus? That the one stabilizing agent I'd had scraped and dumped was the ONLY one that I would ever get to actually be allowed to experience. Remind me to send Homelander a HUGE fucking thank you card, would you?

Early into my first true consciousness, before I found out just how fucked the pompous dick had made my entire existence, Billy had told me that my parents had visited while I was knocked out. Apparently near death experiences make even the weirdest of families reunite. And mine was no different.

Mom became a regular visitor and I was shocked by how much I started looking forward to her visits. She was strangely comforting, and tried to keep my spirits up, she even made peace with Billy. Dad was less frequent in his contact, but Mom told me it was difficult for him to see me look like a shell of myself.

And I did. I looked like a ghost that's haunting what was left of my body. The feeding tube had kept me nourished, but my muscle mass had suffered from the amount of time I was forced to spend in bed. I was constantly tired, my work hours going from nine to six to an hour here, a few minutes there, and the amount of napping I did would make most house cats jealous. The gowns that I wore hung from my frame, my appetite was scarce and I felt like this was the LONGEST goodbye letter ever to be written.

As the days passed, one merging into the next without me taking stock of how much I missed, how much that puzzle of what I was missing had bothered me early on, the negative ideas started creeping in. Homelander's voice grew louder. His smug question about Billy and me and what my condition would mean for the two of us in the end kept pushing through my attempts to distract myself.

I was sitting in the soft chair they'd brought in for me by the window, staring out and thinking of my options when Billy came in for his visit. I heard him, in the background noise of beeps and whirls, ask his questions. I felt him when he was nearer to me, but my eyes stayed on the 'view'.

He started to greet me, but my mouth opened and the question came out without me thinking about it. "How will you do it?" I watched a leaf, one missed by the obsessive groundskeepers, dance in a breeze I wish I could feel. He was confused, his reflection showed that much. "When you kill me, how will you do it?"

"Veronica," I could hear the pain in his voice, the fear hiding behind it. "I wouldn't-"

"Frenchie then?" I tilted my head considering. "MM? Hughie barely managed to make the choice with-" I stopped and took a breath. "Kimiko?" I sighed and pulled my legs up onto the chair, hugging my knees. "I hear she makes quite a mess of her prey." My voice wasn't loud and it didn't sound anything more than resigned, and I was a little curious. "If you can get Starlight to do it, you could make it seem like self defense? Or," I sighed, and bit my lip, "it would finally give you a reason to take her out too."

"Ronnie, love, that's not gonna-" I turned and he flinched when he saw that I was serious and not the least bit upset. "Ronnie?"

"Billy Butcher, I wrote the book on you." My smile felt wrong to me, but right at the same time. "I know you inside and out, or at least I think I do." I had the research on the flash drive that was hooked into my laptop on the bed. "You are single minded in your focus and your focus has been on eliminating supes from the world for a very long time." I turned back to the window, staring past the view and at the reflection of the room behind me. "It was one of the things I found the most attractive about you, I think. That you could see a goal and pound away until you master it." He sat in the chair close to me, but at a distance far enough that he'd have to work to touch me. "So, how will I die, Billy?"

"You'll die safe and sound, of old age in our bed, Veronica." I smiled sadly at this pipe dream of a fairy tale he wanted so badly to believe. "When you're sick of me, remember?" I could hear how badly he wanted it to be true, how much he wanted to hold me and it to all be a terrible dream.

"Never took you for a nursery rhyme and fairy stories fan," my eyes were still on the window. "This isn't going away, Billy, what he put in me isn't going away. And you will start to look at me like you look at him." My eyes found his, and face to face I wanted to force him to see it. "You will. And then, just like you, Frenchie, and Hughie brainstormed about Translucent and the best way to end him, you'll start to consider my pressure points." I gave a harsh, humorless chuckle. "And the funniest part is that Homelander built mine in for you, all you have to do is take me off the blood cleanse for a day and my own body will do it for you." His eyes tightened at the reminder of how many close calls I'd had. "Oops, I guess I just planned it for you."

"Please don't." He was begging me to let him pretend it wasn't the truth, that he wouldn't lose me too, and because of the same supe as Becca's cause of death. "Don't do this."

I smiled sadly, knowing he knew, even without me telling him, what was going to happen next.

#Billy Butcher x ofc #the boys #angst #alternate universe

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