citrineghost

[citrineghost]

common origins of suffering, euphoria, and ferret

substack

[citrineghost]

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

[citrineghost]

i love writing porn and i wont feel bad about it. understanding the eroticism of a character is character analysis if u are enlightened.

[citrineghost]

granted i havent read lotr since i was 13 but the way legolas joins the fellowship always cracks me up, like hes literally a prince but they sent him as a messenger to basically tell the council like "whoopsiedoodles we fucked up and gollum is gone, that's what you get for entrusting him to the party elves of mirkwood you know how we get" and he feels SO bad he joins this super deadly quest like imagine you're thranduil and you're like "hey son can you go to elrond's house and tell him we fucked up royally" and your son is like sure pops can do but then you don't hear from him for like two months so you call elrond like hey e-dog what's good have you seen my son. and elrond is like. well i dont know how to tell you this but he went on a homoerotic voyage to the most dangerous place on earth. id be so mad

[citrineghost]

Baby potato

[citrineghost]

I bet it feels good as fuuuuck to slightly draw your sword with all the other knights in anger when a treacherous knave shows their face in the court

[citrineghost]

[citrineghost]

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

[citrineghost]

living in a place where your water is supplied by aquifer is really funny

you WILL have clean, naturally filtered water you can drink straight from the tap even in times of severe drought. but!

every single faucet in the county is constantly trying to form a limestone stalagtite

[citrineghost]

thinking again about vampirism as disability

[citrineghost]

started playing thunderstorm sounds from YouTube at night. it is frustratingly effective

pros: falling asleep quicker

cons: having nightmares of storms

[citrineghost]

[citrineghost]

my familys cats are outdoors now, I can't do anything about it, and i was looking up whether putting bells on them would help keep them from killing birds, and amidst the articles and studies that were like "yeah putting a bell on the cat could reduce their prey catching ability by 30-40%" there were a bunch of articles like "RAAAH bells do nothing bells don't work the ONLY thing that will work is keeping your cat indoors ONLY"

So much for harm reduction huh

[citrineghost]

it's been nice to draw him again

[citrineghost]