#honestly how I feel rn
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bro ur telling me some ppl saw the shooting scene, saw buck scream and crawl under a ladder truck and drag eddie out from under it, and thought "they arent meant to be together". ur telling me ppl saw the LIGHTNING STRIKE scene, where eddie climbs up the ladder screaming for buck, tries to DEFY GRAVITY and LIFT BUCK UP, and ends up PUSHING BOBBY OUT OF THE WAY to get to buck, told the doctors to do more than their best, and then counted and remembered exactly how much time, to the second, that he had to live in a world without buck, and they THINK THAT BUCK AND EDDIE DONT BELONG TOGETHER. LITERALLY YOUVE GOT TO BE WATCHING SELECTIVELY
#LIKE I FEEL INSANE RN AM I WRONG????????#like honestly its one of the reasons i cant understand multishippers specifiically for buddie bc HOW.#HOW ARE THEY MEANT TO BE WITH ANYONE BUT EACH OTHER????#like im sick its 1am i got work in the morning bros its actually so over#im going to die rightt now#this was fueled by a buddie edit i saw on twitter to adams ribs by jensen mcrae twitter user kynedits#broke me good...#911 abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#buddiemaxxing
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Guys.. guys... guys.....
Guys I just finished writing the last chapter of Decoded...
IM SO SAD RN I DONT WANT IT TO END BUT IT HAS TO END BUT OAUHDAHR R R T G GRR GUYS
#wild kratts#littlecrittereli#wk reprogrammed au#reprogrammed au#wk decoded#IM NOT READY TO LET GO#THIS HAS BEEN MY PASSION PROJECT FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW......#AND ITS OVER#im actually so burntout rn so honestly its good timing bc idk how much longer i could have gone at this pace#like holy shit i said i was gonna post on saturdays and i posted every saturday i feel like i just ran a marathon please clap /j
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i think ive given up on the sticklers ngl LOL like they are nawt a real team atp, id honestly consider 4c more of rek's teammate then the sticklers. all three of them joining the server at the same time for once and not even considering messaging each other today is what sold me unfortunately, like it wasnt even just ro agreeing to help the empire fight before even contacting jumper or rek for me, it's the fact that all three of them gen are always off doing some random side quest or massive solo project thats made me realize they just dont play the server as a team frfr. i dont even know if id consider rek and jumper proper teammates either
#lifesteal spoilers#very unfortunate bc i do think jumper and rek at least have some genuine attachment to the team#jumper like Way moreso then rek#and ro is....#complicated to me tbh#i dont think he feels like theyre a real team but i think he wishes they were at least to some extent @_@#but like yeah as much as i love the sticklers and the Idea of them w the potiential they once had#it also feels like theres very little that could bring them together LOL#i honestly. genuinely. do think that its much more likely we get dualities teamup or like ro joining empire.#before we ever get the sticklers being an actual team#and i dont even rly think ro will join the empire bc i think the empire is on its deathbed#but him joining them before they crumble feels more likely then him playing the server to do any sort of project w jumper or rek LOL#i hope i dont sound too negative bc i dont mean it in that way its just how I see things rn tbh
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What if we fell in love and you died LMAOOO what then
#joke of the century fr#the real what if is like what if I made a little prologue comic for bloodlines to show the night when pepper died#jk there's no what if I'm already doing it HAHA#and NONE of you can stop me 🔫#sleep.txt#sketch tag#only I can stop MYSELF#fr tho. if I may be fr for a sec#I've written an outline just to see what the story would be like if I were to do like. the entire story of the game#the vincent & pepper TM version of the story ofc which deviates a bit from canon#and uh. the outline is over 30 pages long#and I've come to the conclusion there would be about 30 chapters#if I were to cover the entire game#and yk I'm insane bc I looked at the finished outline and went 'well it's not even that long'#LIKE BRO#is my little character obsession worth starting a 30 chapters comic. is it.#I'm genuinely wondering#bc ON ONE HAND#I'd definitely improve on my comic skills & writing skills(especially writing dialogue and structuring a story and chapters)#and probably improve a lot on my art also bc of so many different scenarios I'd be drawing#but on the other hand.#it IS 30 chapters. like. I feel like I'm delusional rn#honestly I should probably just get the prologue done first and Then we'll see fnsjjcnfncn#no way to tell how fast or slow this would be until I finish this part first
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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day 37
#married#i miss my husband#how i feel rn honestly.#homestuck#johndave#pepsicola#dave strider#john egbert#johndavedaily#davejohn#day 37
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Man, I feel like every clip I see from Pints with Aquinas lately Matt Fradd is demeaning women. Really sad to see it, I used to love his interviews :/
#lilac rambles#pints with aquinas#matt fradd#catholic#if anyone knows of anyone who has adressed this (not a paid substack. im very broke rn and only looking for podcast type things)#please let me know about it#honestly it feels like every other day someone i really admired turns to our polarized culture of hate#i was watching his recent interview with jason evert and jason is saying all these beautiful things about how the women he's encountering#who are dressing immodestly or being promiscuous or engaging in the culture are deeply wounded and matt just keeps jumping in with all these#reminders that yeah thats great and all but dont forget women suck too#and like. we know! we know the ways we suck! the entire red pilled manosphere spends a lot of time pointing it out to us!#but if you dont want women constantly pointing out the ways men have failed us then for the love of goodness please stop taking every moment#where someone is talking about female woundedness to talk about Why All Women Except Your Wife And Friends' Wives Suck#im just feeling very let down
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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
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a smile would be nice
#my art lol#persona 3#makoto yuki#minato arisato#p3 protagonist#kotone shiomi#persona 3 femc#hamuko arisato#aigis#aigis persona 3#p3 aigis#ryoji mochizuki#insert that audio like OH GODDDDDD IM SCAREDDDD!!!!!!!!! bc yes THATS HOW I FEEL RN AUGHHGHGHhhh. interpret that as you will#i s2g everytime i actually take the time to try and do a nice bg IT GETS COVERED UP BY THE CHARAS. EVERY FUCKING TIME#also bruh not THIS about to be the thing that forces me to actually properly draw ears. like i can technically but i dont like doing it#cus they look weird. but some of these character designs look really weird/wrong imo if i try removing/hiding the ears so GRAHH#its like how sonic forced me to reexamine anatomy in my feeble attempts to draw sonic styled charas. aughhh#granted i still think i suck ass at drawing sonic charas and my regular humanoid anatomy thangs aint that good either#but its considerablyyyy better i'd say comparing to my art from like 5-7 years ago for example. so thats a good thing ig?#anyways back on topic. upscaled this bc i accidentally made it tiny and honestly i still dont know if this looks that good#feel like smthns missing or the lighting looks weird but i think im just gonna stop looking at it otherwise ill go insane
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the thing is I have no idea how to put it into words but dally loves about as hard as soda does. just in a very different, very specific kind of way. soda loves everyone at first glance until it’s proven a mistake and dally loves only a few specific people so much it kills him.
#dally winston#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#I’m so fucking tired rn someone explain this for me. it’s in the thing with Sylvia and how he talks to Johnny driving back from dairy queen#it’s in how dally has and would’ve hit ANYONE for talking to him how he did at the drive in but not Johnny. never Johnny#it’s in his delirium after the rumble (how he hits & slumps against the wall begging Johnny not to die)#it’s in calling the gang for help knowing he was going to die anyway because he’d already been shot#but he didn’t want to die alone so he called them so he wouldn’t have to#it’s in how the only thing he does honestly is working with horses.#it’s in ‘you’ll die of pneumonia before the cops ever find you’#i just ugh. the phrase ‘hood with a heart of gold’ embodies him so bad#johnny didn’t have anything but the gang who loved him unconditionally; dally didn’t feel like he had anything but johnny because for him#the gang’s love WAS conditional. or so it seems sometimes. he was an outsider among outsiders and you can tell by the way pony talks#about him in the book. they were all a little scared of him. he wasn’t *quite* the same as the rest. it might be unconditional if it came#down to it but dally hadn’t lived a life where he could risk it.#my post
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When the interviewer asked when we should expect s5 to be coming out, that’s when Shawn mentioned that a little bit of an answer to that might be out there soon.
He actually mentions that this answer could be out by the time the video for this interview comes out, and since this interview was filmed mid-May and it’s now mid-June, I’m assuming we could be getting something soon or within the next couple months, potentially about a release date aka possibly a small teaser with 2025 stamped at the end…
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#idk I’m just praying for a vague quick 15 second teaser with 2025 at the end#idc if it’s late 2025 which is most likely#and so they’re just pulling this out of there ass to put something out there#but they have decent amount of footage already they should be able to pull from#even if that’s not what they want to do rn#they could release something vague that doesn’t even involve actors being in it and just maybe a build up of s5 vibes with 2025 at the end#I do feel like it has to be release date related even if it’s small af tho#bc we’ve gotten bts nonstop so just a mere screencap of s5 won’t be enough#it’s also worth considering that they might release s5 in very far away volumes like they did with cobra kai#not saying I want that but it’s possible#that could mean an earlier release date for those first episodes#i don’t think late 2024 is possibly honestly#but I know Maya mentioned in an interview they were like 1/3 of the way through filming s5#and this was about a month ago#so it’s possible a split could result in a serious waiting period between seasons#idk if Netflix is even willing to do that for st though#but I’m not ruling it out!#especially in the finale or even the second to last end up being longer l#we could be looking at a series finale on its own potentially taking up that vol 3 spot#but i still think late 2025 is likely for the ending regardless of how much earlier the initial part could come#also thinking about how they prefer to release the show during the season the show is set#if they can do that I feel like they will
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"what's ur favorite kakagai fanfic?" naruto
#kakagai#the show itself fr feeds us so well compared to how other media does#they're married? they take care of each other?#they've been each other's one singular constant for their entire lives?#kakashi says gai's springtime of youth back to him when gai's feeling down?#I read kakagai fanfic every day but the show itself honestly provides so much lmao#“guy... if anything should ever happen to me; you'd rush over right away right?”#“you're damn right. never doubt that”#be so mfin fr wid me rn#they write themselves#naruto#kakashi hatake#maito gai#they're so “you came” “you called” coded#“there's the Guy I know ♡” - kakashi to his husband after hyping him up on the battlefield
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,
#started typing out a long soppy post as i’m emotional rn but decided otherwise#i just want to say thank you to the community really#this is by far the nicest community i have ever had the pleasure of being part of#and i’ve always had imposter syndrome i guess and other fandoms only amplified that and made me feel beyond useless#and i’ve always had the misfortune of only being known as ‘[person]’s friend’ or ‘[person]’s mutual’ etc#and never as just my own person i guess#and i kind of got used to that? i got used to people only communicating with me to get to someone else - usually someone with more clout-#or followers or whatever#and ngl part of that still fucking stings#and is partly why i joined this community completely anonymous#like i am just anonymous community member fitpacs with nothing more than pronouns#and the fact i have managed to make friends and connections in this community even with that - it astounds me#and it means the absolute fucking world#i’ve never had the feeling of complete acceptance in an online sphere (i’ve dealt with irl aspects in therapy dw im fine)#so i just want to say thank you for accepting me wholly and completely in this community (q/smpblr/ratinhos/huevitos)#i honestly wasn’t expecting the warm welcome because of past fandoms#and i don’t know how ive managed to have such a wholesome experience honestly but thank you#thank you for reading my fics and my shitposts and sending kind anons (remember ‘fitpacs appreciation day’?!)#just thank you for accepting me for me and not expecting anything in return#i may regret posting this tomorrow but oh well#thank you for accepting anonymous community member fitpacs and expecting nothing in return - it means the world to me and then some
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I still don't get why people say 13's era is so different to the rest of dw... it's really not?
Because people always frame this as some kind of Obective Writing Fact that has to be agreed upon when a bunch of times, if they go deeper into that statement, it dips into nothing more than the pov of storytelling which is only different because the casting demographic has become more diverse, and therefore their stories can and Would realistically be approached from a different angle.
I mean... While historically men Did actually get tried for witchcraft, it was not nearly on the scale of which women did and nor is it a widely acknowledged thing in history (I only know this because of a history podcast) so when you talk about writing here and 13 being charged for Witchcraft because James historically really did have women issues (waaaay beyond the speculation into his sexuality), where previously the Doctor probably would have been some kind of white knight and that's more befitting the hero of the tale, then i have to say, that is not a writing critique. That is a casting critique dressed up as something else.
I just see So much around that basically says that even the people who've been begging for more diverse casting for decades didn't actually stop to consider what that'd mean. And this isn't even getting into the Disturbingly large subset of the population that has no idea whatsoever that they have little to no empathy with women.
idk. The writing in general, silly stories, universal peril, cautionary tales, very unsubtle plots to teach children things. That was not different in this era. All of the show's like that? But there Were differences realistically stemming from the cast of characters that broke all the way down into the narrative, which is Not an issue and in fact what people have wanted for decades.
idk.
#dw shit#i am thinking out loud but#so much of this is disingenuous without anybody Noticing#and honestly looking at how shit and misogynistic the world is rn#for all the ways i've been pointing out in regards to this stupid era of this stupid show?#i don't feel bad for the hostility#i've shown tbh#the red flags as it turns out were in fact red flags
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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