#honestly could have been a lot worse

[calling-cthulhu]

I just got back from a viewing of Kenji Kamiyama's 'The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim'. Hoo boy.

I first have to admit I completely forgot this movie was going to be a thing until today, when I saw the poster on my local theatre and thought 'Fuck it, I got time'.

I must secondly admit I had no real expectations going in. I wasn't expecting to hate it, mind, nothing about it's advertising raised serious red flags like the likes of Rings of Power or Shadow of Mordor did, but neither did I expect to be particularly wowed.

Anyway, thoughts.

The movie is ultimately... fine. Not unentertaining, but it felt a bit conflicted with itself at times. You definitely feel like there's almost two movies here, one of a grounded localized conflict in Rohan, and a J.R.R. Tolkien™'s The Lord of the Rings™ movie where there's shots of recognizably iconic Middle-Earth™ things for their own sake.

The best characters are ultimately Helm himself, Wulf, and somewhat unexpectedly, a character called 'General Targg'. No really.

Hera, Daughter of Helm, unfortunately feels... stock? Like, forget the cultural warrior whining about 'Strong Female Protagonists', Hera honestly spends a shocking amount of time getting put in positions of distress and very rarely actually wins a straight fight. Unfortunately compared with fearless death-seeking Eowyn, she comes off as a bit more Disney Princess, and doesn't really change all that much as a character. She's not bad, per se, but is just serviceable, and is unfortunately surrounded by characters more interesting than her.

I admit I'm not the biggest into the Rohirrim, Gondor all the way baby, but for the most part as an adaptation of what's essentially a Tolkien sticky note, nothing about it struck me as an egregious case of 'Writer Trying To Make It Their Own'-itis, unlike certain other works I could name. If you're even slightly familiar with the events, there are no big twists or turns, the plot is incredibly straight and narrow with everything be telegraphed from a mile away. Whether this is a good or bad thing, I leave up to your personal discretion.

The biggest alteration I'd say would be the inciting incident, namely the circumstances in which Helm kills Freca. There is actually a lot in the incident that is true to the text, mind, such as Freca insulting Helm's age, who returns with jabs about his weight, but there seems to also be an attempt to justify some of Freca's marital ambitions by him claiming Helm's too influenced by Gondor as he wants to marry Hera, our protagonist, with a Gondorian prince (Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film). Freca is... Actually right, Helm absolutely wants to marry his daughter off to Gondor. I actually kind of like this, as right away we have the contrasts between Theoden and Helm. Helm is kind of an imperious, more moral Bobby B type, very used to getting what he wants by his word alone.

And yes, he destroys Freca in a single blow... But I have to deduct points off this, because rather than the premeditated straight-up murder of the text, this is more of a formal brawl where Helm accidentally loses his temper due to Freca's insults, which honestly is kind of funny as Helm clearly expected Freca to get back up after smashing his face in.

Another change I'm not really fond of is that Freca and Wulf actually do seem to have Dunlending blood. While in Tolkien's work it's fairly easy to read as it being an unsubstantiated rumour used to discredit an influential rival, here Wulf straight admits he was discriminated against due to his ancestry, and even uses his heritage to become 'High Lord' of Dunland.

Anyway, Wulf amasses an army, including 'Variag mercenaries' who are clearly just Haradrim, but whatever, and beats Helm. I won't go too much into detail, but the battle itself isn't incredibly impressive, imo, clearly trying very hard to emulate Jackson's Return of the King.

Speaking of Wulf, marketing kind of painted the picture of a kind of badboy former childhood sweetheart of Hera turned evil. He is... not that. Very little of his childhood relationship with Hera is actually explore. Instead, Wulf instead channels more Macbeth or Captain Ahab. An incredibly bloodthirsty and ambitious warlord who is ultimately undone by a combination of hubris, lust for vengeance and a complex over his own inadequacies.

Frankly, the only reason he doesn't fall faster is thanks to, again seriously, 'General Targg', his Dunlending advisor. Not that you would be able to tell he's a Dunlending, being clean shaven and having close-cropped hair... He looks like he's just a Roman strategist plucked out of time, like an Africanus or even Caesar. His main job is to tell Wulf to please stop being dumb and take his Ws, such as when Helm straight up offers to surrender the crown for the life of his last son. Wulf for his part never actually listens, however, cumulating in him spending the last of his gold building a giant 'siege tower' (Think the Warwolf if its only job was to fall over and provide a big bridge for soldiers to march up the undefended walls of Helms Deep) and he promptly stabs Targg once the man gets fed up of Wulf being a complete failure of a king.

Lastly, my biggest criticism of the movies is probably that a lot of the Tolkien elements feel very incidental and solely there for the sake of the intellectual property. The Mumak and the 'Variag mercenaries' show up for one battle and are never mentioned again. The Watcher in the Water appears once and quickly disappears again. There's one scene with Orcs that only exists to foreshadow that Sauron is looking for rings, but it's completely irrelevant to the story proper and mostly exists so Helm can have a Batman moment saving Hera from a troll. Saruman pops up at the end to wink at the camera, and perhaps most egregiously of all, they pull a Battle of the Five Armies, where Hera rides off into the sunset after she says a wizard wishes to talk to her, who 'in the common tongue is Gandalf'. I have no idea where this is going to lead and can only pray Philippa Boyens isn't trying to make Gandalf a kind of fantasy Nick Fury who is gathering heroes from all across the land for another movie...

In terms of rating, from a bottom-barrel The Rings of Power to a lovely The Lord of the Rings Online, I rate it a Fellowship of the Ring (2002). That's a 5-6/10 for you boring people. The animation itself isn't bad, but it's not quite your name or Mononoke Hime level. It's an entertaining enough one-time watch, but I don't foresee being it much of a repeat classic like it's forefathers. Overall a decent but unambitious foray into Tolkien, which given the current competition, may not actually be an insult...

[epickiya722]

I have thoughts!

I doubt Izuku went eight years being Quirkless.

For one thing, after the Final War, he still had two years of high school left. I doubt all that time he used One For All continously when he have to focus on schoolwork and had more time to actually wind down since the major villains of the story have been dealt with. So there would be times he wouldn't have to use OFA like that.

Last chapter, we can see he still has OFA.

I would say it would be more recently that he lost OFA.

Note that here, Izuku says "recent times". This is just happening now that his class has reached their goals of what they wanted to accomplished. From Ochako and the others creating a program to help people to Mezo getting an award.

When this came...

I figure this can interpreted as Aizawa asking about his Quirk and being a Hero on the field or just his time in school when everything was happening.

Why some of the fandom took this as abandonment is beyond me. "We started working..."

Folks, Class A would be 24 - 25 years old... they would have just started to be Pro Heroes probably three years or later if you consider their "college years" would be the time they would be sidekicks and working to having their own agencies. Probably some of then even living together to save money and whatnot.

A teacher is fitting for Izuku as he is still encouraging others and it reflects even how All Might, his mentor, was one. He knows he'll be Quirkless again, a job as a teacher is ideal for him.

You need a bachelor's degree to be a teacher, which takes four years. So from probably age 18 to 22, Izuku worked for that degree to be a teacher. Meaning that time, he necessarily didn't have to use OFA, if he still had it. And he could have also been doing the sidekick thing on the side.

Present Mic is an example of a character who has multiple occupations, so I don't doubt that Izuku couldn't have done sidekick work and studies at the same time.

Therefore, he would have been a teacher for 3 years at the moment at this point.

Now, given that a school like UA exists, where they taught Heroics, business, engineering, etc. There could have been colleges like that. So class A could have went to the same college and still hung out, including Izuku.

Point is what I'm saying is, because of what Izuku's schedule may have looked like, I doubt he lost the embers of OFA that fast. Yes, he most definitely lost them, but like overnight? Yeah, no.

And him being abandoned? Some of you took a hold of the steering wheel and whipped it way too hard to the left. They definitely still talked. They just got busy with their jobs and hectic schedules.

"How dare they not tell Izuku about the project?!"

... IT WAS A PLEASANT SURPRISE, HELLO?! Have none of you gotten something nice as a surprise before???

[myokk]

🥺

[langernameohnebedeutung]

since i'm back on my x-men bullshit: One underrated subplot in x-men first class is to me the way Charles, Hank, and Raven are totally fine experimenting on themselves (Cerebro, the serum Hank creates) and Erik - the person who has actually been experimented on in the most horrific circumstances imaginable - frequently going "can you...maybe not???"

[lgbtlunaverse]

I'm a little bit insane about how in novel canon the whole xiyao ending where Jin Guangyao wants to die with Xichen, who accepts, which then makes jgy change his mind and pushes him away at the last second isn't actually explicit. A lot of adaptations chose to make it so but in the novel this is all VERY up for interpretation.

Here's what actually happens in the text: Lan xichen stabs jgy, jgy moves away from lan xichen, xichen follows him, wwx realizes jgy is about to open the coffin and calls "watch out!" to lan xichen. Jgy unseals nmj, pushes xichen away, nmj kills jgy and they are both dragged into the coffin which is sealed again.

Here's what wei wuxian, our narrator, thinks is happening: Jin Guangyao wanted to lead lan xichen to his death out of revenge for stabbing him. Lan Xichen, unaware, simply followed Jin Guangyao to try and stop him from getting away. Wei wuxian's warning came too late, but Jin Guangyao- for an unknown reason- changed his mind at the last second and pushed lan xichen out of danger before lan xichen had any idea of what was going on.

Here's what most fans as well as the teams behind several adpatations think is happening: Jin Guangyao leads Xichen to nmj's coffin to die with him, Xichen accepts, because of this acceptance, proof xichen still cares for him, Jin Guangyao pushes him out of harm's way. Wei Wuxian just doesn't get that gay people who aren't him or Lan Wangji exist.

Here's what ALSO MIGHT BE HAPPENING: Jin guangyao wants to die in a different way than he is currently dying. Maybe he's afraid of what'll happen to his body after his death like he was scared for his mother's, maybe he wants to confront nmj one last time now that there's nothing more for him to lose, maybe - if he can't take her body with him- he'd at least like his final resting place to be where he buried his mother. Lan Xichen thinks he's trying to get away and follows but Jin Guangyao, who despite everything doesn't want him to die, pushes him away. Xichen doesn't know what happened until it's already happened. What he would've wanted if he had known remains up in the air.

Or, alternatively: Jin Guangyao's reasons are as above, but unbeknowst to Wei Wuxian, Xichen DOES know what jgy is about to do and either misinterprets this as an invitation to all die together, or inidividually decides he, too, is done, and wants to join his sworn brothers in the grave. To Jin Guangyao this has nothing to do with Lan Xichen, and he still doesn't want him to die, so he pushes him away against Lan Xichen's wishes.

Every single one of these interpretations is unhinged and they are all supported by the original text. It's like a choose your own adventure of tragic gay endings.

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[thisisntreaver]

That quest in fable 2 where sparrow has to go save their child from the same cave where they saw a man simply die of heartbreak because they didn't get to his son before he was turned into a hobbe must fuck with them so bad

[envolvenuances]

and I think child modelling should be illegal I'm not even joking

[dingoat]

Best girl was being a bad girl so she got a little taste of plant surge before things had a chance to go from tragic to catastrophic >.>

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.

You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!

[adore-gregor]

.

[raimi]

the problem with nice pretty pain scales is that sometimes you are slowly coming to the realization that you don't properly know what "not pain" feels like in the first place

[arundolyn]

on one hand it sucks cause it sucks to see her like this and for her to have to go through it in general and also its literally so much cancer and like at least???? at LEAST 2 different types???? so they don't know what to do about it and any further treatment would literally just be Seeing What Happens. and it sucks for this to be like. it. and to have to remember This after

but on the other it's also. like. all of this happening has kinda crystallized more in my mind that i don't have a hell of a lot of nice things to say about my mom in the end. which feels awful. but also at the same time i can't really like.. tolerate. giving credit to someone who Loves me who like.. saw it as an obligation? and would and probably will right now if given the opportunity hold it over my head? the fact that she raised me and all. i brought you into this world ill take you out etc. i don't know how you can say that shit to a kid ever and think you're right. i just can't. for all that she's always said she loves me she sure. doesn't act like it much. i don't think keeping all my baby blankets and my kindergarten schoolwork counts for much when your actual emotional support of me has never been great and is half of why im Like This. like it doesn't really feel like she's ever made much of an effort to understand me. lord knows I'll never understand her at this point aside from just. kinda always been too self centered for parenting i think. my mother has never been particularly selfless.

all of this feels horrendous to say out loud in any regard

[valewritessss]

I feel like I came out of the womb with raging anxiety

[loverlylight]

I am very tired and I want to sleep but instead I'm thinking about Benjamin Park... I don't know why this character who's around for all of half an hour has such a death grip on me but he does.

[phagodyke]

looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one