#honestly cat paul for the win

[caleohateclub]

okay, but, Paul "cat disguised as a human" Matthews or Paul "Mutant Anthropomorphic Squirrel" Matthews?

[ladytesla]

The Great Faerun Baking Show (part two)

I've decided I'm going to run with this anyway. It is a beautiful day in Faerun and I am a horrible goose fanfiction writer. There are several things I need to get done today, so obviously I'm going to not do them and write this instead.

For those of you who are just stopping by, I had a horrible idea a while ago and this is the result. I have no idea what's going to happen or who's going to win. I’m just going to roll a D20 ‘bake check’ for everyone and write out the results, including what everyone rolled so y’all know I’m not cheating just so my druid boyfriend can win.  The person with the lowest total score (out of a possible score of 60) goes home.

We've got the main 6 companions, Jaheira, Halsin, Minsc (and Boo), Minthara, Dammon, and my tav Medora (who y'all can just pretend is Alfira if you don't want someone else's tav in the story, since they're both female bards)

Week One, Cake Week: Star baker was Karlach, Minthara went home

Week Two: Biscuit Week, or "Viconia's Walking Florentine"

Signature Challenge: Sandwich Biscuits

Astarion: Bourbon biscuits. He and Shadowheart took a shot right when the bake started. He took a few more shots after that just because he could, and ended up making a bunch of vampire jokes with Noel Fielding. Despite the alcohol handicap, his biscuits turned out quite nice.

Dammon: Dulce de leche and banana biscuits. The dulce de leche overpowered the banana a bit, but the texture of the biscuits themselves were great.

Gale: Tara's coffee biscuits. He really wanted to bring back the memories of caffeine-fueled all-nighters at Blackstaff Academy. He also used a cat-shaped cookie cutter. The biscuits weren't exactly identical, and the coffee cream was a bit too runny.

Halsin: Lavender and vanilla biscuits. He used a duck-shaped cookie cutter because he likes ducks. They were all perfectly identical and the flavors were incredible. He got a Hollywood Handshake for them.

Jaheira: Malted milk biscuits. She wasn't able to get them as identical as she would have liked, and some of the biscuits were a bit underdone.

Karlach: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich biscuits. She was determined to have Paul like something with peanut butter in it. Unfortunately he still doesn't. They were also a bit messy. They were adorable in their messiness though.

Lae'zel: Pistachio custard creams. They were messy, and the dragon cookie cutter she used was a bit too delicate, resulting in some dragons missing their tails.

Medora: Raspberry and almond linzer biscuits. They had a lovely classic flavor profile, and were nearly identical.

Minsc: Coconut biscuits. He tried to use chocolate designs to make them look like tiny coconuts, but it wasn't completely successful. The flavor, however, was nice.

Shadowheart: Blackberry and earl grey biscuits. She tried to shape them like night orchids, colored with activated charcoal. However, the color made it hard to judge whether or not the biscuits were overcooked, and several of them were burned. The earl grey was so faint it was overpowered by the blackberry and the, well, burn.

Wyll: Empire biscuits. He grew up sneaking them from the kitchen as a boy, and wanted to stick to his 'classics done right' style. Unfortunately the biscuits weren't as crisp as Paul and Prue would have liked. Noel still stuck one in his pocket for later though.

Technical Challenge: Coconut Macaroons

(I think I'm going to list them from worst to best from now on)

11. Dammon

10. Shadowheart

9. Medora

8. Karlach

7. Lae'zel or Wyll (they both rolled a 9)

6. Wyll or Lae'zel

5. Halsin

4. Astarion

3. Jaheira

2. Gale

Minsc (honestly how does he keep doing so well idk man)

Showstopper: Gingerbread Showpiece

Astarion: To keep with his Brand, he decided to make a graveyard with several little gingerbread mausoleums and monuments. His, of course, was the biggest and fanciest one, with the door open and a little paper cut-out of himself coming out. Very tongue-in-cheek. Some of the monuments were sloppy, because he had so many he didn't have time to make them all super polished.

Dammon: He did his best to make an anvil, a hammer and a little piece of pulled sugar as the metal to be forged. He then discovered that despite working with molten metal on a regular basis, molten sugar still burns just as much when hitting the skin, and dropped it. He spent so much time on a backup sugar piece that the presentation on his anvil and hammer suffered a tiny bit.

Gale: His scene was an open book with a little wizard casting Fireball standing on the pages. There were huge cracks in the gingerbread book, but the wizard and his fireball were nicely detailed. He wasted a lot of time because he needed the spell piped on to the gingerbread to be ACCURATE DAMMIT.

Halsin: He created a peaceful woodland scene with trees, a family of bears, and some mushrooms. The largest bear broke, but he was able to fix it somewhat and prop it up against a tree. Bears lean against trees all the time. He hoped the judges might think it was purposeful. They saw right through him, however.

Jaheira: Years of helping her children with various projects has paid off. She somehow in the time limit created Wyrm's Crossing and just for show a poured-sugar River Chionthar. That earned her a Hollywood Handshake.

Karlach: She made an impressive replica of her tent, complete with a small army of teddy bear cookies. She even took the time to make little bears shaped like her friends and the judges. When asked if she hadn't wanted to make something more badass, she shrugged and said she could like cracking skulls and teddy bears at the same time.

Lae'zel: Her red dragon looked more like a guinea pig, unfortunately, so she changed her answer last-minute and said it was a giant space hamster. Due to its red color, though, the judges saw right through her story.

Medora: She attempted to create a lute, a mandolin and a drum. The neck of the lute broke and the piping on the drum was far from precise, but it wasn't a complete disaster.

Minsc: He made a treasure chest mimic. Originally he'd wanted the lid to open, but the hinge broke. It was still beautiful regardless, and quite big. It nearly took up the entire counter.

Shadowheart: Her little gingerbread cottage was already precariously lopsided, and when she turned to grab another piping bag it fell completely off the bench and onto the floor.

Wyll: He replicated his favorite park in Baldur's Gate out of gingerbread, even sculpting a statue with modeling chocolate. It was very impressive.

The Results

Our star baker this week with a total of 45/60 is Halsin!

And unfortunately, with a score of 9/60, Shadowheart has to leave the tent.

Feel free to play along, roll bake checks, and comment with what your Tav would make! Yeah I can't be stopped we're on to bread week next.

[solaireverie]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

tagged by @oscar-fastri 🫶

1. Who or what got you into F1?

my family! i come from one of those european motorsport legacy families where we've followed the sport from day one. both my parents are enthusiasts and i grew up watching f1.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

the first f1 driver i supported would either be sebastian vettel or lewis hamilton. seb is retired now, but i'm still a lewis girlie through and through. i think my opinions have changed a lot, especially when they switch teams, but in my heart i'm still that kid screaming my heart out as my favorite driver drives past.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

max verstappen 🦁 if you'd asked me before feb 1st i'd have included lewis but i'm still reeling from the news

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

hear me out: oscar and fernando. it may be unconventional, but i feel like it'd be epic. it'll probably never happen but the vibes would be incredible omg.

but secretly i'll always want to see seb and lewis in the same team 😭

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite driver?

oh. ohhhh boy.

my mum's favorites are lewis and mick, my dad's are max and pierre, my brother is lecfosi through and through, and my sister is a lando fan. my extended family supports various assorted drivers that i honestly don't bother to keep track of 🤭

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

barcelona 2016 and interlagos 2021 are the ones that come to mind. yes, there are others that have been "better" for my faves, but max's first win (ft. brocedes public divorce proceedings) and lewis' insane comeback hold such special places in my heart.

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

i'm legally obliged to say circuit paul ricard and silverstone, but zandvoort, spa, and suzuka also hold special places in my heart.

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

i've been lucky enough to go to quite a few 😜 there's a picture of three-week-old me at the 2005 barcelona grand prix that i keep on my desk lmao

i think my most notable experience is that the cars are a lot louder and faster than they seem online. my favorite gp experience would probably be silverstone but spa and interlagos are really cool too!!

btw monaco is a tourist trap. it's kind of boring and honestly it's more of a social event than a race, so if you want to experience the more technical side of f1, it's better to go to another gp

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

my lawyer (my cat) has advised me not to comment on this

(yes but mostly in passing)

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

w11 😌 you will never be forgotten, although rocky (rb19) comes close to stealing my heart

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

meeeeeeh. if i really had to choose it would either be heikki or pastor maldonado but nope, no favorites.

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

"i don't apologise for winning" - sebastian vettel

"enjoy the butterflies" - daniel ricciardo

"no regrets, just memories" - daniel ricciardo

"still i rise" - lewis hamilton

not a quote but i really like the il predestinato nickname for charles :)

tagging @papayatifosi @formulahuh @matchnightt @lorarri @presdestigatto @renarots <33 and anyone else who wants to do this!

[bingsucks]

im really tired so probably none if this is canon compliant but hhh Community characters and what pets they would have

Jeff: A big dog, maybe a rottweiler or any kind of mastiff. defo will use the dog to win women over emotionally. he considered buying it clothes so they could match (double the women points) but he thinks that's corny, so he just got the dog a raincoat and called it a day. for the name i'm thinking something too human sounding like "Hank" or "Brenda"

Britta: we already knows she has one-eyed cats, but why not some three-legged dogs? a lil bird missing a wing?? she's gotta name them super stereotypical names like "mittens" "beef soup" "fartshitter the squeakquel " you get the gist

Abed: betta fish. he doesn't trust himself to take of something bigger and frankly likes how quiet fish (not the filters. fuck the filters are so loud) are. they're (almost) all named after movie characters, and even though they're basically indistinguishable Abed always knows which is which. there are actually two named nemo, one after the Disney character and one after Point Nemo which is the furthest place from land on earth.

Annie: Annie seems like the type to get a ferret on a whim because they're cute (after doing extensive research of course to make sure she has enough space and the means to take care of it), and then continue to love the little guy after it fucks over her sleep schedule and makes her room smell like rotting shit. she also likes to hold the top in one hand and the bottom in the other and then wiggle it around (but not often because she doesn't wanna hurt it)

Troy: the exact opposite of Jeff, only small dogs like a dachshund or a yorkie. he likes to pick it up and put it under his arm or in a bag like rich people do in movies just for funsies. not for transport or anything, that would be cruel, but just for little bits and such. whenever the dog stops to sniff something or hears something in the distance, Troy always goes out of his way to investigate too because he wants the dog to feel important. for a name i'm thinking more movie references, maybe a name. imagine "yeah this is my dog Indiana jones, and my other dog Paul". also he HAS to match with the dog, he has a bunch of harnesses with different colors on em just to match

Shirley: so many hamsters. so many. there is a graveyeard in her back yard full of small animal carcasses in boxes because her kids have no idea how to take care of something. at one point, after buying like 50 hamsters, she just got them one of those mice people buy to feed their snakes and it lived for two years. she never gets to name the things because they're her kid's animals, but she frequently has to stop them from naming them "fart" and "butthole"

Hickey: firm animal hater. he definitely has some sob story about how when he was a child he had to kill his dog, and that dog was his only friend or something and now has a deep-seated distrust of all animals because they all will hurt him. so sad for you cry about it, ration man

Frankie: I don't think she would ever commit to having an animal because having to deal with the Dean is like having a dog anyway but she always dreams about having a cat one day. a little orange one that's lazy that she can talk to and pretend it talks back just for funsies... yes she does want Garfield, okay? are you happy? she dreams about having Garfield. she doesn't even like Garfield and god knows she hates Jon Arbuckle with every fiber in her being but god dammit, she wants a Garf.

Pierce: friends with a dog breeder. treats dogs the way the Kardashians do except n o o n e thinks its cute when he does it

The Dean: honestly I don't think we should allow this man within 50 feet of a Dalmatian. no pets

Chang: befriended the mice and bugs that live in the walls. has a cat named "shit"

[twistsandtwizzles]

Stars on Mars: The Finale

Holy shit, y’all. We made it.

After twelve weeks of watching “celebrities” pretend that they are astronauts on Mars, we have come to the final episode. Tonight we will learn, at long last, which one of them is “The Brightest Star in the Galaxy.”

Shatner kicks us off with a series recap, and I had honestly forgotten that Richard Sherman was on this show. Then we get a brief moment with each of our final five crew members, starting with:

Adam: “In my sport, it was: become a National champion, go to the Olympics,” he tells us, over footage of him twerking with Porsha, running through a dark cave, and riding on a rover. “And these are the tools that I’m going to be counting on to go all the way.” Then a hero shot in slow motion of Adam in full space suit, walking down the hab hallway.

Cat: “When I am in a competition, there’s something that clicks in my brain,” she says as we see her driving the rover and high fiving Lance. “I always have in my mind that I am going to win.”

Porsha: She walks down the hallway in full glam. “I came here to do some things I’ve never done before,” says her voiceover. Clips of her celebrating with Tinashe after a mission, rappelling down a cliff, and pretending to wrestle with Ronda. “You don’t make it this far and not be a warrior.”

Paul: “I went from the poor house to the penthouse,” he says. “Bottom three to Base Commander.” Most of his clips are just him standing at the airlock door? Sorry Paul, but you really did just kind of stand around a lot. “The simple fact that I’m still here is saying a lot.”

Tinashe: “I’ve always kind of felt like an underdog in my life, maybe because I’m quiet sometimes. But I think I’m going to surprise everyone.” She smiles at the camera and I have to say that I have really become fond of Tinashe. She gives us our last slo-mo hero walk before we cut to the show logo.

“Sol 19 - Second to last day of experiment,” reads the text on the screen, as we find Shatner just . . . sitting on the edge of his bed, in his leather jacket, appearing to be waiting for instruction. Lady AI obliges, and tells him that it is time for him to go address the crew. Shatner has some trouble with the door latch on the Base Commander suite, but eventually makes it out and summons the crew to the kitchen.

On his way he passes a big red button on the wall that says “DO NOT PUSH” that I swear to God we have never seen before but apparently it’s been there the whole time?? We even get a bunch of flashbacks of crew members pushing the button as Lady AI tells Shatner that the button controls all the hab life support functions, and was placed there to test the crew’s self-control. “That did not go well, and I disabled it on Sol Day 1, but it has now been reactivated,” she says.

Shatner tells Cat that he really, really wants to press that button.

Adam and Porsha are hanging out in the living room and Adam tells Porsha that he has really loved getting to know her: “You’re such a good person.”

“Aw, thank you,” Porsha says, touched.

“It will be so sad when you leave the competition,” Adam continues, grinning. They both dissolve into giggles.

The group gathers and Shatner tells them they are at the “moment of truth.” This morning, they are going to reduce the five remaining contestants to three. And then tomorrow, those three will be reduced to one, who will receive the “Brightest Star in the Galaxy” patch. (We see a picture of the patch here, and I just have to note that it only says “Brightest Star” on top and then on the bottom it says “Stars on Mars.” I would demand to have one that specifically says “Brightest Star in Galaxy” as Shatner promised.)

Shatner goes on to say that the winner of that patch will then have the opportunity to “speak to the world.” You can tell that the group was sort of hoping that the additional prize might be like, cash. Or a vacation somewhere that is not the Australian desert. “A message coming from your heart,” Shatner continues. “It could be the biggest and best thing you’ve done with your life.”

Porsha and Cat play along and tell Shatner that it is an amazing prize. Adam meanwhile is trying really hard not to smirk.

Shatner says the process starts now - they are each going to get to ask the other players one question, and then they will vote for the three people who will continue on in the game. The group splits up to write their questions.

Adam tells us that he loves Porsha, but he’s still kind of stung that she chose to be in a group with Marshawn instead of him last week, and that he feels like the dynamic between the two of them has changed.

Cat says she wants to be strategic; Tinashe says that Cat has been playing the game and seems to be the only person who wants to win “by any means necessary, and I think that makes her a threat.” Tinashe also says that she’s noticed Porsha and Paul bonding and that they may be playing a bit of a game as well. Porsha tells Paul she thinks it’s shady they have to ask their questions in person and would prefer that they were anonymous.

Shatner has Tinashe ask the first question. Tinashe asks Cat if she made every decision here “for the right reasons” or if she was more focused on strategy. And honestly I am THRILLED that we did not let a full season of a reality competition go by without someone pulling the “right reasons” card. Cat says that she came in knowing that alliances had already formed, and she’s tried really hard to focus on what was fair in all of her decisions. Then we get flashback footage of Cat telling Paul that she’ll nominate him for Base Commander if he makes her Mission Specialist and her getting mad at Andy and kicking him off of Mars, and I LOVE when the editors get shady. Cat also adds that she cooked for the group, which wasn’t really part of the question but okay.

Adam asks Porsha who she thought would make it all the way to the end at the beginning of the experiment. Porsha says she thought Tinashe would.

Porsha asks Adam if he truly thinks that he is the “Brightest Star” over everyone else at the table, and why. Adam says that he thinks he’s proven that he shouldn’t be underestimated and that he can be a serious competitor. We see a flashback of Adam promising Tinashe and Porsha that there is no way they’ll be in the bottom three if he’s Base Commander, followed by footage of him talking Andy out of putting the two of them in the bottom. We also get a clip of Adam winning the challenge last week. “And I’m so proud of myself that I made it this far,” Adam continues. “And in my own eyes, I feel like, yes, I am a bright star.”

In his voiceover, Adam says, “I’m going to be honest. At this point, I don’t know if Porsha sees me as a serious contender or a serious crewmember.”

Paul asks Tinashe how she deals with failure. Tinashe says that she’s faced a lot of moments that she could have taken as a failure, but that in those moments she chose to be resilient. 

Tinashe asks Paul if he feels like he deserves to win over people who have been there longer. Paul responds by telling a story about getting stabbed and almost dying in his early twenties, and then William Shatner asks him if that experience helped him on Mars. (Yes, Captain Kirk. Surviving a murder attempt definitely carried over into pretending to be an astronaut for a week and a half.) Paul says his life has always been about starting at the bottom and rising above.

Question time over, Shatner tells them that they are all wonderful. He instructs them to go put on their spacesuits, because the time has come to cast their votes for the most mission critical crew members, and the two people with the fewest votes will immediately be extracted. 

Adam says in his confessional that when push comes to shove, he will fight for what he wants, and that he’s stronger than he looks. “People are going to have these subconscious biases about keeping their friends in the experiment,” he continues. “But here’s the thing: at this point, it’s just about who has played the game the best.”

When the crew gathers again they are all pretty nervous. (“I’ve peed 100 times today,” Adam tells the others.) Cat is feeling confident which seems silly because she’s clearly outnumbered by the Porsha/Tinashe/Adam faction. Lady AI tells them to rank the five remaining players, including themselves, from 1-5 (most critical to least).

Shatner collects their ballots and pretends to do the math in .5 seconds but you know we had a cut while the producers figured out the tallies. Anyway, he announces the first person who is safe: Tinashe. Not a surprise at all. Girlfriend made it through this entire experiment without ever being in the bottom three!

The second person who is safe is Porsha. She’s thrilled.

We’re dealt an excruciatingly long reality tv pause before the next name. (Adam: “I feel a little like I might have diarrhea, but I think that I’m going to hold it in, because I’m wearing white.”)

And the third and final person advancing to the final part of the experiment . . . is Adam!!!! Yay! 

“OG Three! OG Three!” chants Tinashe. Adam gives everyone hugs, as his voiceover says that it just feels right that the final three are all original crew members, and how happy he is that he gets to be there at the end with two of his closest friends from the entire experience.

Cat and Paul say their goodbyes. Cat says she really thought she was going to go all the way, but gives credit to Adam, Tinashe, and Porsha for a game well-played. Paul says it’s been a fun ride.

The final three embrace, grinning from ear to ear. 

“It’s so dumb, I’m so excited,” Adam says, pretty much summing up the entirety of the Stars on Mars experience.

Shatner tells them that what he didn’t tell them earlier is that all three of them got the exact same score when the votes were tallied.

“Look at that,” Tinashe says. “Teamwork.”

Later that evening, the remaining three are having drinks and celebrating together. Tinashe says she suspected it would be the three of them at the end. Porsha says she knew it too: “I wrote it down so fast I had to slow myself down.” 

Porsha does add that she put Cat above Paul, Adam says he did too. Tinashe says she had them reversed: “I saw what I needed to see earlier. I respected the fight, but . . . even picking Lance as her mission specialist. I was like, ‘this is a strategy, because this doesn’t make sense.’” Tinashe also says it rubbed her the wrong way that every time Cat cooked she made a big deal of letting them all know how lucky they were she was cooking for them.

The group says goodnight to Lady AI and Lady AI tells them that she is very happy to have the three of them there.

After commercials, the crew is waking up on Sol Day 20 and the very final day of this lunatic experiment. Tinashe and Adam are shown working on their message “to the world.” (LOL.) Adam asks Porsha if she’s done hers yet. She says no, it’s just thirty seconds, and Adam is APPALLED that she is apparently just going to wing it.

We get another montage of the final three walking in full glam and slow motion down the hallway in their spacesuits. Porsha has put her long wig back on. Shatner is making them wait, and they pace nervously in the command center until Shatner appears with three tablets under his arm.

“It’s a big day,” Shatner begins, running down all the things they’ve endured to get to this point. And then, the final mission assignment. Out there in the “Martian desert” there are two satellites, which will be used to broadcast their message to the world. The first person to assemble their satellite and transmit their message will be the Brightest Star in the Galaxy. But before they can get to the satellites, they have to take a quiz about Mars facts. The first two people to answer enough questions correctly will proceed out of the hab to the satellites, and the last person will be eliminated.

Adam says that he read the Mars manual “every chance he got” but that the facts might be a little muddy.

Shatner passes out the tablets, and then leaves - punching the “Do Not Push” button on his way out with a “WOO!” He really is charming and I cannot get over the fact that this man is in his nineties. He saunters out of the hab with a “good luck!” as the hab begins at countdown to the end of life support systems. The group has five minutes to complete the quiz.

“Damn,” Adam says. “That’s what that button did?”

“Yeah,” Porsha replies. “I pushed it the first day.”

Everyone laughs.

The quiz starts: “I feel like I’m taking a written test at the DMV,” Adam tells the others.

I’m not going to run down all of the questions that are on this quiz, because listen, you can just google Mars if you want to learn about it. But five questions in, everyone is tied with three correct answers. “I really thought I knew this stuff,” Porsha says.

“Me too,” Adam replies.

Adam takes the lead with the sixth question, and needs just one more question correct to advance. He gets the next question wrong and Porsha and Tinashe get it right, so now everyone is tied again. Everyone is VERY NERVOUS.

The next question is “Who was the first person to see Mars through a telescope?” with the choices Copernicus, Galileo, and Johannes Kepler. Galileo is correct. Tinashe curses.

“Mission complete!” Adam shouts, excitedly. The other two cheer for him as he sets his tablet down and hustles out of the hab. Adam leaps on his rover, saying, “Let’s go, baby!” and he looks like a little kid in his glee. It’s cute.

The next question is about the diameter of Mars. Tinashe gets it right. “I love you!” she yells to Porsha on her way out the door. “I’m on your ass, Adam!” she shouts as she gets on the rover.

Porsha heads out of the hab for her extraction, saying that she’s ready to go home and conquer some stuff. “For my daughter to see this, it would be such a positive and motivating thing for her.”

Adam is racing through the desert on his rover. “I want to win this experiment so badly,” he says. “Because I love patches.” LMAO.

He pulls up next to the satellite assembly station, where Shatner is waiting. Shatner tells him that there’s a brief with instructions in the back of his rover. Lady AI informs us that each contestant needs to hook up a series of cords and wires to the satellite, but each cord goes in a specific spot. The instructions illustrate what goes where. After the satellite is assembled, they will insert the disc with their message to Earth. The first satellite to begin broadcasting will be the winner.

“In my entire life I have avoided all instructions,” Adam tells us, as we see him start to unload cables and plug them in. “And I thought, ‘why would I start today?’” 

As someone who has watched literally every season of The Amazing Race, I know that not reading the instructions ALWAYS comes back to bite you on the ass. So this is not a great start for Adam here.

Tinashe is still driving. She says she’s feeling very zen as she pulls up to Shatner, who congratulates her on her driving and cool skidding stop.

We watch them put together their satellites for a while. Adam pulls out to an early lead, but we do see Tinashe actually reading her instructions which she says was “very helpful.”

This is when Adam realizes that the cables have to go in specific places. “Oh, Adam,” Shatner says as one of the satellite pieces falls over. “You have to have the right length cable!”

“Got it, mister,” Adam says, sounding annoyed, and I wonder if this is also how he responded when Raf gave him a correction that he had already identified himself. 

“Am I having a lot of trouble?” Adam asks us. “Uh, yeah. The issue is that I didn’t read the directions and I really should have.” 

So Adam starts redoing his cables, and Tinashe begins to catch up. Shatner alternates between heckling and encouraging them both and I desperately wish he would have said “Come on, buddy!” just to make the world’s most niche joke for fans of The Runthrough. Adam is spinning in circles looking for one of his cables. “Where is this bitch?” he mumbles to himself.

“Oh Adam, for God’s sake,” Shatner says, his head in his hands, as we go to commercials.

When we return, Adam is explaining that he was feeling frazzled. “Some of my cables were in the wrong place. William Shatner was yelling at me. And now Tinashe is going to win!”

Tinashe says she knew right away that the cables went in specific places, and that she could tell she was catching up. Tinashe connects her final cable and officially pulls ahead of Adam, and moves on to connecting her wires.

Shortly after, Adam gets his last cable connected. Tinashe is struggling figuring out the wires, and so is Adam: “Are we still using wires?! It’s 2023!” (“Go the *bleep* in!” he tells the wire he’s working with, trying to get it to connect.)

Adam takes the lead again and Tinashe says she was disappointed she couldn’t hold her advantage. She’s frustrated and finally asks Adam for a hint. “Just flip them around, you’ve got it!” he tells her. She gets her first wire connected.

All three of them - Tinashe, Adam, and Shatner - are sweating. Shatner has more flies landing on his face. “Oh my god, I’m doing all this for a *bleeping* CD-ROM!” Adam exclaims, as Tinashe laughs.

They are neck and neck until: Adam gets his final wire connected. Triumphant music swells and at this moment my friend messaged me, “Oh my god is Adam going to win Stars on Mars?!”

The answer is yes, yes he is. And Adam is as incredulous as we are: “I can’t believe it.”

Adam inserts the DVD with his message on it into his satellite. He pumps his fist as Tinashe and William Shatner cheer. Then - and this is so freaking funny - we see the message he has recorded, but the producers have CGIed it so that it appears like the message is playing to packed crowds in Times Square, Red Square in Moscow, Vatican City, and Sydney Harbor.

Here is his message in full: “From Mars, this is Adam Rippon. When I began my journey here on the Red Planet, I had no idea what to expect. I quickly learned that being hot doesn't make you a great astronaut, which feels like it should a little bit. More importantly, I learned that life is all about the journey and the connections you make. So let the ones you're close to know how much they mean to you as often as possible. I'm sending you so much love and I can't wait to see you back on Earth.”

I appreciate that Adam opened and closed this series talking about his hotness. Never change, Adam.

“You have won,” Shatner says, as Adam and Tinashe high five and celebrate. “Adam, my darling. You are wonderful.” He hands Adam his grand prize, which is literally just . . . a patch in a little plaque. I need you to understand that on first viewing I did not stop laughing for basically the last ten minutes of this episode because it is, forever and always, just. So. Dumb.

Tinashe says, “Honestly, I’m so happy that Adam won. He’s had so much growth over this competition - I’m really happy for him.”

Adam spins in a celebratory circle, and gets the final word of the series: “I’m Adam Rippon, and I’m the brightest star in the galaxy.”

But the final shot belongs to one of the robot dogs, who has wandered to a billboard welcoming us to Coober Pedy, Australia. Banjo music swells as we pan back to see a highway. GASP. You’re telling me we’ve been on Earth this entire time?!

And so that’s it. We have reached the end of our Mars adventure! Adam shared some behind the scenes pictures on his instagram that made me laugh, below, and he also gave this great interview to Entertainment Weekly that I’d encourage you to read if you haven’t.

The funniest thing about this entire stupid show? I’m actually going to miss it. Who saw THAT coming??

Thanks for coming along with me on this dumb ride, all two of you who read these. 😂 I can promise that if there is a season two of this show, you will not find any recaps here.

[flaggermuser]

15 questions, 15 friends

Tagged by the ever wonderful @dravenxivuk, my darling Paul Amos friend, mwah mwah mwah <3

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I am, my great aunt. Who said it was a stupid name for a child

2. When was the last time you cried? 

Last night

3. Do you have kids? 

Nope.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? 

I played hockey and cricket in primary school. I've also played volleyball, rounders, basketball and handball as part of PE

5. Do you use sarcasm? 

Yes

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? 

Their vibe.

7. What’s your eye color? 

Blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings? 

Scary movies for the win

9. Any talents? 

I can click all the bones in my left foot

10. Where were you born? 

London

11. What are your hobbies? 

Video games, listening to music, writing

12. Do you have any pets? 

Two cats

13. How tall are you? 

5'1 or 155 cm

14. Favorite subject in school? 

History

15. Dream job? 

Honestly? Something like data entry where I can be left alone to work.

I'm not tagging 15 people so no stress tags: @languidcryptid, @chromeedwardian, @ventiswampwater, @venus-haze, @delicatefade

If you choose to do it, you can tag me <3

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S03 E05 The FIP.

*Score changes noted in parenthesis.

Series finale! Kind of excited to get through Series Three, because Series Four marks where I feel the show starts to become truly special. But I have some love for the weirdos here, so let's wrap it up right.

Prize Task: Photo of the most handsome relative.

Definition of Handsome - Of a man, good-looking. Of a woman, striking and imposing in good looks. -- I find it strange that Oxford Languages feels the need to gender the definition, so we'll just go for "good-looking," gender notwithstanding.

Let's get the non-relatives out of the way! Paul isn't a relative of himself, Sara is not related to a cat (adopting a pet doesn't create a legal relationship), Rob is not related to James Earl Jones.

So weirdly, this is a two horse race between Al and Dave. No disrespect to Al's grandfather, but Dave found the link to Cary Friggin Grant.

Al: 4 (0) Dave: 5 (0) Paul: DQ (-1) Rob: DQ (-3) Sara: DQ (-1)

VT 01: Move the water from Bucket A to Bucket B. You must not move the buckets.

Dave cheats. Taskmaster's cheating policy never forgives. But . . . does Al cheat? Greg says no but he also gives Sara a bonus point to address perceived injustice. I'm of the mind that Sara could have paid Alex to move the bucket, just like Al.

One more note, Taskmaster isn't about being fair, but Rob really got hosed by the weather in this one.

Al: 5 (0) Dave: DQ (0) Paul: 3 (0) Rob: 4 (0) Sara: 2 (-1)

Team Task: Wearing one of these hands on each of your hands at all times, communicate to your teammates the names of these films, books or TV programs. You may not raise your voice.

Greg is right, nothing in the task says you can't have Ben Fogle shout the answers across the Thames. I'd normally say the split should be 4-1 except Rob was just openly shouting at Sara, which is forbidden.

Al, Dave, & Paul: 5 (0) Rob and Sara: DQ (0)

VT 02: Do something that looks brilliant when sped up or slowed down.

I actually thought Dave's was really cool. Sara's robot dance was fun . . . "brilliant" might be a stretch. Al's is funny and I like that it comes back in Series Four. However, banging a gong is not improved by slowing the video down. Paul's is interesting because he both speeds up and slows down the video. Interesting idea, looked okay.

Rob did maybe the simplest thing in just hitting a bunch of stuff, but I have to say it's the only one that actually benefitted from the tempo change.

Al: 1 (0) Dave: 4 (+1) Paul: 3 (0) Rob: 5 (0) Sara: 2 (-3)

Live Task: Place one or more donuts on your stick. The person with the lowest unique whole number of donuts wins.

For a second I thought maybe only Al and Dave should be able to participate in the second round because they had the fewest donuts. On review, this task was scored properly.

Al: 0 Dave: 0 Paul: 0 Rob: 5 Sara: 0

Final

Al: 15 (-1) Dave: 14 (+1) Paul: 11 (-1) Rob: 14 (-3) Sara: 4 (-5)

So here I would give Rob's win to Al. Mostly because I thought he should have been disqualified for bringing in James Earl Jones as a relative.

Series Final

Al: 80 (0) Dave: 83 (+2) Paul: 68 (+2) Rob: 78 (-9) Sara: 63 (-9)

So, as predicted, Rob doesn't win the series in my regrade. He honestly got really lucky in a lot of situations and benefitted from not being disqualified when he should of. I wasn't expecting Sara to land below Paul, but she did lose a lot of tasks.

[the-cat-chat]

July 29, 2023

Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

A family determined to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant take a cross-country trip in their VW bus.

JayBell: I really thought this was going to be a straightforward comedy, so I wasn’t expecting the more dramatic moments. But once I readjusted my perspective on what this movie was going to be, I was on board.

This movie showcases the epitome of dysfunctional family. They’re just so weird and messed up and crazy, but somehow they manage to remain likeable. Except the dad. I don’t care how “nice” he is in the end, I still think he’s an asshole. He did not win me over. 

Honestly the best characters were the young son and daughter (Paul Dano and Abigail Breslin) and surprisingly, the uncle (Steve Carrell). He doesn’t get too many dramatic roles, so I thought it was a nice change of pace for him to get maybe the most dark and “unfunny” character of the bunch. The scene between him and Paul Dano’s character at the beach definitely stands out to me. Paul Dano, despite not speaking for a lot of the movie, still made his presence known. His lines feel more significant simply because he is so silent throughout the first half. Plus, the relationship between the siblings is so subtle. Like they don’t even have that many lines together but that one moment in the field where they don’t even speak a word together but somehow communicate so much is incredibly well done.

Putting this weird family and even weirder child into the beauty pageant world (which is already so weird and bizarre) is enough to almost make them feel normal. Almost. I have to admit, I didn’t see a lot of the final dance number simply because I suffer from secondhand embarrassment, even when it’s fictional embarrassment. So mission accomplished on the writer’s perspective I guess?

While this is labeled a comedy, it wasn’t like laugh-out-loud funny, even if it did have its moments. Honestly, I would call it more of a family drama with just a touch of humor. Which is great, even if it’s not what I expected.

Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I’ve always wanted to see this movie bc everyone alwayyssss acted like it was the best movie ever and Abigail Breslin is so cute and I loved Nim’s Island. I wasn’t allowed to watch Little Miss Sunshine, I think? Like I don’t remember ever expressly being denied but still I never did 🙄. I digress.

The movie is very good but not in the way I spent almost 20 years assuming. It’s morbidly realllll. Like I spent half the time not breathing. The opening scene of the whole family at dinner. Yikkkes. And I love Greg Kinnear but someone need to beat Dad up. At least give him a good slap. And all the other actors- despite them being huge- they were so believably their character, like this whole family existed I. A bubble of their dysfunction and crazy. And did I mention how cute Abigail Breslin is she’s like kittens and rainbows personified. I loveeee when she finds out in the dinner scene she’s going to the pageant and while the family’s arguing she’s just heard in the background excited and packing her bags. And Steve Carrell is so funny in little moments and quips.

And like I said it’s very real. And very dysfunctional. But at moments sweet. But at moments crazy. And then veryyyy cringe. That talent portion of the pageant…I get very much so it’s a commentary on how messed up beauty pageants for kids are truly- but then add the big finale- which was sweet and funny- but my umm my organs are receiving damage just recalling it now from the amount of cringing they did. So yeah take that for what it is.

Rating: 6/10 Cats 🐈

[deakyjoe]

Same anon from the movie question: you're a Heath Ledger fan? Who are your other favourite actors?

I love these film related questions 😭

So here are my top actors. Some of them I have seen most of their filmography and others only a little but still think they are remarkably talented and/or entertaining. The favourites I’ve listed are purely about their performances, not necessarily the films themselves.

1) Heath Ledger. Obviously. I have loved him my whole life and I can barely think about the man without crying. He was phenomenal and could do anything. I’m so sad he didn’t get to see his own Oscar win. Favourites: 10TIHAY, A Knight’s Tale, Brokeback Mountain, The Dark Knight

2) Jake Gyllenhaal. Give this man an Oscar already. Every few months I suddenly remember his filmography exists and rewatch as much of it as I can. Favourites: Brokeback Mountain, Zodiac, Prisoners, Donnie Darko, Nightcrawler, Love & Other Drugs, (I could list several more)

3) Nicolas Cage. Okay so maybe he’s not the best actor in the world but I will watch anything this man is in. And I mean ANYTHING. Favourites: National Treasure, Knowing, TUWOMT, G-Force, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

4) Pedro Pascal. Another obvious one. He’s so good and I’m so glad he’s getting so much appreciation at the moment. Give him an Emmy please. Thank you. Maybe not the first that comes to mind when you think of “great actors” but certainly should be. Favourites: Prospect, TUWOMT, TLOU, The Mandalorian, Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Narcos

5) Viola Davis. I cry every time she cries. She always hits me right in the gut and you can feel every ounce of pain. She’s EGOT for a reason. Favourites: HTGAWM, Prisoners, The Help, Fences

6) Angela Bassett. You know you’re going to see a good performance when Angela Bassett appears on your screen. Favourites: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, 911, AHS

7) Paul Dano. Soft-spoken and constantly being beat-up on screen. And yet he’s incredible every time. Favourites: The Batman, Little Miss Sunshine, Love and Mercy, Okja, There Will Be Blood, Prisoners, Swiss Army Man

8) Samuel L. Jackson. Every time this man says “motherfucker” I smile uncontrollably. Favourites: MCU, Pulp Fiction, The Incredibles, Star Wars, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Snakes on a Plane

9) Queen Latifah. Brings a certain energy that cannot be matched. Favourites: Chicago, Hairspray, Ice Age

10) Lucy Liu. I fell in love with her when I saw Charlie’s Angels for the first time. Favourites: Charlie’s Angels, Kung-Fu Panda, Chicago,

11) Michelle Yeoh. She’s just cool, man. I don’t know what else to say. Favourites: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Last Christmas, Reign of Assassins

12) Jeff Goldblum. He plays every character the same but IT WORKS and I love it every single time. Favourites: The Fly, Cats & Dogs, Thor: Ragnarok

13) Willem Dafoe. I never intentionally watch films with him in them but always get a million times more excited when he shows up in them. Favourites: Spider-Man, American Psycho, The Great Wall

14) Joe Mazzello. Underrated actor honestly, deserves a lot more appreciation and better roles. Petition to get him a better agent. A lot of his work as a child are great as well. Favourites: Bohemian Rhapsody, Jurassic Park, The Pacific, Undrafted, Dear Sidewalk, The Cure

15) Leigh Whannell. The guy is Australian and plays whiney, pathetic characters. What’s not to love? He’s also a great writer and director! Favourites: Saw, Dying Breed, Cooties, Insidious

[ratlordsarah]

additionally, here are some more

Mr big

Honestly, I do believe that he is some form of neurodivergent, it’s just the vibe he gives off, maybe autism or adhd, but definitely one of the two. I am mostly looking towards autism for him due to his hyper fixations about bunnies, but also honestly he’s really silly

if he were to be an irl character, he’d look like if Donald trump had a normal color palette

probably anywhere from his late 40s to early 60s

His money is inherited from his dad, who owned a railroad company

leslie

I feel like she’s autistic as well, mostly due to her mildly monotone voice (bigslie is such a neurospicy ship 💀)

I like to think she’s somewhere in her early thirties to early 40s

she is obsessed with nearly every fandom imaginable like… you could literally ask about anything from breaking bad to dnd to wonder pets and her eyes would light up that you are into that stuff

she just gives off vibes that she somewhat is like miss Pauling from tf2

she will listen to any music, but she absolutely loves abba (her favorite songs are money money money, and dancing queen

would probably be a will wood fan, and if she were, her favorite song by him would be either white knuckle jerk, white noise, or cover this song(a little bit mine)

used to baby sit, and still does when she has free time. I like to feel like she genuinely loves kids and there are a good few that she visits regularly to the point where they are basically family at this point

lives with her grandma to help take care of her

had a hippie phase at one point as a teen& young adult(was absolutely beautiful)

If she has an ounce of liquor, she has a very high tolerance but will be literally so open, and she will breakdance, and she will sing, and she will be a totally different, and she will be a totally different person

her, lady redundant woman, and miss question are besties, and do one can change my mind

her, lady redundant woman, and granny may are the ones who are in charge of the villains association meetings

Has one of those blue eyed cream colored cats with a brown face and paws named Fiona

miss power

Somewhere in her 30s in her appearance in the show

the reason why she can see people’s weakness so easily is because she is able to read people’s minds and see their past via alien brainwaves.

she is actually very empathetic, but doesn’t know how to show it, and she also just gets embarrassed from being nice because she’s just that way I guess

very much of a person to do before thinking

she cannot stand losing, so if she thinks she isn’t gonna win, she normally tends to back off before that happens

honestly, I like to think that she almost has the same thing going on as dr two brains, although it goes a lot smoother than him ,basically where she is part lizard, and that lizard part of her shared brain room and the spinal cords are braided as well, but it’s basically where she is a good person at heart, but she says mean stuff due to the lizard part of her being more critical and stuff. Also, her two brains also share a mind, so it’s mostly where you can’t even tell it’s two different brains

I like to think that she is a that handsome devil fan, her favorite song would probably be twist the knife

Lady redundant woman

she was mild friends with Steven before the two of them became villains (ofc, they both secretly liked each other, I like to start drama between characters)

In her early to mid 30s

I like to think she has mild dyslexia, it seems to suit her

whatever you do, absolutely never under any circumstances attempt to interact with her before she has 3 cups of morning coffee. No exceptions.

also a fan of abba, and ehr two favorite songs are California dreamin and dancing queen

has Italian and Greek roots, and does the Italian hand thing when she’s angry 🤌🤌

if pushed to, she will in fact, dropkick a child, and will not regret a thing

invisi-bill

Extreme adhd

If he isn’t talking, he will stay invisible while playing tricks on people. I mean totally freak people out. He will stand over someone’s shoulder at their house for 2 hours while making a sound every once in a while to freak them out, and then once he gets bored, he will jump scare them, and terrorize them (did this to two brains once and he screamed so loud he nearly ruptured invisibill’s eardrums, so he won’t scare tb anymore)

him and miss question are actually good friends

samw thing with the whammer

the butcher

In his 40s

I like to think his irl name is either a frank or mike

has Bosnian mild polish roots, like to think he’s also a bit irish

loves southern rock

has literally 0 enemies (wordgirl doesn’t count)

half of his crimes are just done because he likes to have convos with wordgirl (he honestly kinda sees her as a niece or something)

this mf is like…6’4

chuck

in late 20s

will either love or absolutely despise a hug depending on his mood

Watched joker and thought that he should adopt that persona, and got mad when people didn’t look at the deeper meaning behind him nearly crucjimg a school on a sandwich press over a hairnet

favorite game is either Tetris, or Atari breakout (also likes Mario games)

his favorite sandwich is surprisingly a foot long from subway (with extra onions)

extra 2 brains stuff because I got a lot for this guy

Super jumpy. Even as Steven, he’d jump and scream when someone knocks at the door, but as two brains with the mouse instincts, he 1. Could scream louder than a freight train under the right circumstances. 2. May instinctively punch, throw nearest object at, or kick whatever made him jump, 3. For the next minute after being jumpscared, his heart rate will be like… 250 bpm

sleep schedule is the worst in the world. This man will fall asleep at 3pm, wake up an hour later, and repeat that for a month, and the next week, he’ll be asleep for 3 days in a row

has nearly overdosed caffeine multiple times throughout his life as both Steven and two brains

80s music obsession

favorite movie is man with 2 brains for obvious reasons (beforehand it was either cloudy with a chance of meatballs, or the outsiders )

on the topic of movies, I like to think amazo literally cries at the end of every movie he watched. His favorites are how to train your dragon, and shark boy & lava girl

setting hcs

The show takes place from 1999 to 2002

fair city is either in New Jersey, or California

I am gonna reblog with even more, believe it or not, about a silly au I’ve been cooking up for the longest time

whispers got any fun headcanons on any wordgirl characters… or maybe if you’re really crazy a whole wordgirl oc?… or even a au… fades into the shadows of anonymity

THE WAY I CACKLED AND SCREAMED AHAGAH

I will not miss this opportunity 🫡

Headcannons/theories:

for two brains (there is a lot)

The way Steven’s brain is fused with squeaky’s caused part of his skull to crack off and while part actually popped off during the transformation, it also caused a fracture or two in his skull, so whenever the mouse brain pulsates, it is basically a mix of feeling like your head is going to explode, and the brain slightly pushing his skull, causing the fracture to never properly heal, because it gets slightly opened up again as it pulsates

another thing I’d like to point out is I feel like two brains would occasionally black out and also have a seizure every once in a while due to the electricity during the transformation. This also goes with the fact that he also could get frequent nosebleeds too, if he injured his brain in a certain way.

Also, a hot take of mine is that 2 brains is basically just Steven, but being mostly forced/controlled by squeaky, and of course, his dna is modified too.

another hot take is that it’s only his scalp hair that turned white (maybe a salt and pepper mix everywhere else?idk) because his eyebrows are still brown, and in ballad of Steve mcclean, he is shown to have brown facial hair too, so maybe it was only what touched the helmet in the experiment to turn white, and the rest of the den was sort of scattered everywhere

As a more silly hc of mine, I like to think that squeaky likes to play silly games where he attempts to freak Steven out every once in a while, by causing auditory and visual hallucinations, but Steven later just gets used to it

Also, due to the change in eyes, he’s probably a little color blind, so I like to think that he sees colors the way the color settings were inside the hospital in the house md pilot episode, or maybe just having him see more in a slight grey scale? Idk

The way I like to think squeaky takes control is via brain stem, so it’s basically where the mouse brain still has the brain stem and spinal cord attached to it, and it’s braided and tangled with Steven’s spinal cord, so if Steven and squeaky are fighting for control, it looks like two brains is fighting an invisible person in an arm wrestle or something.

Another hot take is that two brains is still able to remember everything as both Steven and two brains, so have fun with that one as you wish 💀

also, the mouse brain is obviously anatomically incorrect, in both looks and scale, so my theory on how this was achieved was during the transformation, the mouse brain almost blew up due to the electricity, so the brain is basically very inflamed and bloated. As far as the brain wrinkles go, I like to think that squeaky was originally genetically modified before Steven buying him, causing the mouse to basically have the same brain as a human, and squeaky was actively seeking revenge

as far. As cheese goes, I like to think squeaky is really the only one enjoying the cheese, while Steven is purely sick of it, like where after the first month of being two brains, he was just done with cheese, but he’s basically addicted to it due to squeaky. Also, I like to think that two brains can hardly eat anything that’s not cheese, and if he eats something that’s not cheese, he’d have to put so much cheese on that food to the point where you can’t even taste the stuff that isn’t cheese. besides orange juice, because squeaky likes that stuff. In other words, I also think that if he were to put something that’s not pure cheese in his mouth with the intention of eating it, he’d immediately throw up because squeaky doesn’t like rebellion (squeaky read about famous dictators once pre-transformation and decided that’s what he wanted to be)

also, because of only eating cheese, this is why he tries to have as wide of a variety as possible, to at least try and keep it a little interesting.

with that being said, I feel like if the mouse brain were removed, he’d probably puke at the sight of cheese, from how much he had to eat, and due to squeaky, even normal food would probably not be that appetizing either.

Also, in the show, he is built like a noodle, despite how much cheese he eats, so my theory is that he stays like this because the transformation made his metabolism go into overdrive, and usually, fast metabolism causes excess body heat, so if two brains were to take his lab coat off, you can literally use him as a radiator, because he’s gotta get that energy burnt off somehow lmao.

also, mice can’t sweat, so unless unter extreme circumstances, he’s basically just chilling radiating heat like it’s nothing because this genetic trait somewhat transferred during the transformation

Also, throughout the show, he is seen multiple times to worry a lot about how people think about him, (prime example is the episode ballad of Steve mcclean, but also you can see little dribbles of this trait in invasion of the bunny lovers, fill in, wordgirl & bobble boy, and rat trap) and honestly I think this is caused because of the obvious genetic changes that happened, so he obviously gets a lot of stares and weird looks in public, due to his appearance, so imo, he gets that from his appearance.

Due to the cheese consumption this guy does, I feel like he’d definitely have some problems in his digestive tract, as well as a vitamin deficiency for obvious reasons 💀

Also, I like to think that during the transformation, he was a week away from turning 30 (what a great way to start off your thirties XD)

Also, as far as Charlie and meatloaf, I have another hot take that they don’t live in the warehouse, and only two brains lives there. Someone could protest on that because in the new year episode, they are seen to sleep in the warehouse, but I like to think this as more of a thing that they only do every once in a while when two brains is planning a crime that requires them to be there really early. So essentially, they basically work based off of when dr two brains calls them over for the scheme. as Steven

As Steven, I like to think that he had two tuxedo cats. A long haired tux cat named Dennis, and a shorter haired girl tux cat nicknamed mags in public, but is truly named plunger

he was certainly a cat person pre-transformation. Look at him. (You cannot change my mind)

I also like to think that he has a huge cage set up for the lab rats and mice that he had to work with, as he felt really bad for having to use them, so he tried his best to compensate by spending a butt ton on of money on spoiling the rats, and getting a big place for them to stay. (I also am convinced he would name them after the first thing he sees them do, but doomed to the worst way possible, so he named a lab rat piss finger, or Ricky pee pee, and he has a whole long story on how he decided to name the lab rats those names

i like to feel like he was in a science trio with tubing and doohickey, and they were probably great friends

honestly idk how much I agree with the hc I made, but I’d like to feel like doohickey and Steven are probably cousins (blood related or not)

I’ve even pondered ideas like how I feel like Steven is a mix of Irish, Romanian, and maybe a little bit Italian (mother is Irish, and dad is an Italian Romanian mix)

also, I feel like Steven was actually friends with lrw when she was Beatrice, and they’d have some long conversations while he is having his science research copied and stuff

also, I like to think that he and Huggy were good friends,too, and would discuss ways to help wordgirl fight crimes sometimes

I feel like Steven and amazo guy were really good friends and the two would have karaoke night at least once a week, and they’d prolly also chill a lot cracking beers and playing with Steven’s cats and stuff like that.

I feel like he has a phd in engineering, some form of degrees in both biology and chemistry, and a minor in culinary arts

this man can make the best food in the world, but the way he makes it will make Gordon Ramsay cry

has an o

Charlie

The reason Charlie doesn’t talk is either due to nonverbal autism, or a certain condition that causes him to not be able to talk.

either way, Charlie is so silly and honestly I feel like two brains has a soft spot for him(same bro, same)

I like to feel like he is more of a silent observer, like heavy from tf2

amazo guy

Honestly, I like the hc that people think his name should be Adam so much to the point where sometimes I forget it’s not cannon💀

so yeah, his name is Adam

i like to think he also came from lexicon, but on his own accord when he was 21.

he has the same language powers as wordgirl, but just doesn’t make them his main focus.

hes obsessed with pizza and pizza rolls. He would literally rather have a pizza party by the city than 1million dollars.

he was actually fighting alongside wordgirl, and teaching her how to deal with villains until about a month before Steven turning into two brains

he ended up leaving to go and help another city , because she thought wordgirl was ready to fight the villains herself.

i like to think that he was an extreme back street boys and David Bowie fan, and whenever there was a ceremony for him, star man would certainly be playing

he secretly loves the song baby one more time by Britney Spears, but will tell no one

he is more of a dog person, and words cannot describe how badly he wants a golden retriever or German shepherd

wordgirl

She made it to earth with huggy when she was about 9 months old

the reason why lexiconians are so good with reading is that lexiconians use their powers to travel to neighboring planets and galaxies to help others in need, and they achieve this by being able to hyper-adapt to any different language, like to where the average lexiconian can learn Russian fluently in just a week

hot take but lexionite it’s doesn’t come from lexicon, but an enemy planet trying to make a weakness (I say this because it doesn’t make sense to have something from her home planet be her weakness, so it’s basically a hc of mine to not go bonkers over that lmao)

wordgirl is fluent in many other languages, like French, polish, Spanish, and mandarin

Due to her high iq, she still has the energy of a kid her age, although the mental age of a 30 year old, which is why she is so good at talking with other adults

Near perfect memory (why she can remember how she got to earth

early 10 year old at the time the show starts, and either young 12 year old, or almost 12 towards the end of the show

[i-arch-my-backula]

General and dating Paul tlb head cannons

Ok if I'm being honest Paul is one of my favorite boys. He's just such a baby girl and I love him so much holy shit. I'm probably gonna do this for David too. Also requests and match ups are back open and I'm writing for the candy man now.

Warnings: None I can think of

General head cannons

He was turned in the 60's at or shortly after woodstock. He was a total hippie. He was super high the entire time and got mad bitches. Probably met Marko and made out with him after like five minutes of knowing each other.

His hair was long at the time and he just kept growing it out. He obviously had it cut from time to time but he always kept it long.

Knows how to play the harmonica and can play a few songs on the guitar too.

He washes his hair once a week and keeps it down like that once a week too but for the rest of the week he teases it and sprays an ungodly amount of hairspray into his hair. If you squeezed it, it would sound like someone bit a pretzel.

Also a fan of girly music (Again women artists or artists popular with girls) and one time got into and intense fight with David about how the Beatles are a boy band. The fight go so bad the two went a month without talking to each other.

His little nest area has a ton of posters in it that he probably stole from someone or a booth at the boardwalk.

He annoys the other boys a lot. Like a lot. He makes really dumb jokes all the time and doesn't know when to shut up and doesn't know when he's actually annoying the other boys so he keep going (totally not a self insert. I totally don't do this all the time with family)

Second big brother to Laddie. If Dwayne is busy or Laddie's just mad at him he goes to Paul. Paul definetly calls Laddie "Little man". He also calls Marko "Little man" because he's short.

Is the biggest pussy when Marko brings around animals he's not used to. Birds, cats and 'reasonably sized' dogs are fine. But when Marko brought in a great dane one time and a raccoon the other time Paul refused to leave his nest until they left. I laugh about thinking about Marko bringing in a horse and Paul just groaning as he leaves. (But honestly I'm a little scared of being around horses too ngl)

Relationship head cannons

Main love language is gift giving so he'll be winning you a lot of prizes from games and stealing buying you a ton of stuff you want.

Sucks at flirting. Like he just sucks so bad at it. Like he'd mix up all his pick up lines together, "If I had a nickle for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you I'd give you a dollar. Wait shit no let me start over."

But this doesn't stop him from getting you interested. He acts like it was on purpose the entire time.

Loves listening to music with you. Like explaining music to you and telling you about how he saw this band live and how he met so and so once and stuff like that. If you have good music taste he's even more in love with you.

He will not admit it but he would love if you washed out his hair for him and brushed it out. He washes his hair seperately from himself because of all the hairspray. Like if you help him wash it out and brush it and take care of it, he's gonna be so down bad man. He would adore that.

Will try to impress you by showing off. He'll like do something really dumb then will beam when you compliment him on it.

Will also make you songs and sing to you. He'll deacate a song to you and buy it on cassette and vinyl. He'll listen to it every day and always think of you while he does.

Would also love cuddling with you while listening to music. Will mouth the words or straight up sing them while holding onto you.

Would love to go on a concert date if you could ever swing that for him.

[awigglycultist]

Hey, Melissa! Read through thoughts bc I'm super behind on the stream but there's no way I was gonna just catch up and start watching were the stream is now, absolutely had to watch this first

"hey nick! Hey nick? Before we get started can I ask a character question?"

Ted pt 2

Omg Jeff-

Fanart my beloved everyone's incredible <3

Charlotte :( hnggg

Also yes Melissa likes cats!

Paul!!

Oh yeah Melissa likes Paul doesn't she

Bill!

Yeah Bill! Call Paul out!

Yeah Paul! Call Bill out!

You see your daughter in her hey?

TED!

Okay Jesus Ted

It's... Kinda.. Sweet? In a way? That Ted doesn't want step on Paul's game and chances with Melissa. I mean considering heoves fucking other Men's wives, and as someone who's obsessed with the fact Ted sees Paul as his best friend, there's something nice about Ted saying this... Even if it's followed by him being a horny bastard and saying he can't keep it up for long

"you're a fucking idiot Paul!"

He doesn't like her bc she's a cat person? I agree with Ted, "come on Matthews!"

Paul's childhood pets were named Spot and Whiskers my god he's so fucking Normal™

"well your lost fuckhead!" "yeah, ya fuckhead"

Ted doesn't see women as something you can, it's a win!!

Oh no Freddy is going to fucking run Ted over isn't he? If he dies this soon istg-

Omg no his office is empty omg noooo

But they didn't actually say he's dead... Maybe... Maybe there's a chance-

Melissa how do you not know Paul despises musicals?

Working Boys?!

"do you like film?" "not particularly" this single handly destroyed everyone's hc that's Paul's has a special interest in movies wtf Langs I'm gonna pretend that he does like film and only said this to get out of going out with Melissa

Beanies delivers?

Emma!!

Paulkins :))

Oh poor Melissa :(

Yeah Melissa stand up for yourself!! I love you!

Oh boy I wonder what he wants to tell his wife...

He'll never be able tell his wife huh?

"don't work to hard" "I don't :)"

Oh no...

I wonder if it's Freddy or is it Melissa?

Yeah!! Melissa! Badass!

Oh god Mr Davidson why would you keep that in your office...

Paul is a good man :) I love him :)

Wow Paul really loved that dog

LANGS STOP KILLING THE DOGS :( FFS

I mean it was when he was 10 so Spot would dead by now anyway ig but COME ON

Okay wow jeez Melissa he didn't mean for the dog to die, he didn't kill the dog it was accident

Teddy Bear? I.. Don't like that...

Holy fuck wtf Melissa omg

But at least Ted's alive!!

She cut off his fingers? Melissa is the human pet guy-

Can I just say Jon's scream in response to the taser was great

The way Melissa is saying absolutely terrifying things while also saying "soft little puppy beans!"

Something about Jon "Catteson" playing Paul pretending to be a cat

Also Melissa has lost her mind like she fully thinks Paul is a cat just bc he meowed

Ignoring the irony she is right about declawing being inhumane

Melissa should know that cats don't listen well

She's leaving RUN PAUL RUN TED

"WHAT THE FUCK TED!? WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK!?" this line has me dead and Jon's delivery is grest I will be quoting this forever

Honestly yeah piss on her couch, she deserves it

The way Ted's totally accepted that he's stuck here

Joey omfg

Why would she record it??

Emma! Omg yes Emma that's right! Emma please! Go to Melissa's house! Save them!

Okay so Melissa... Is both aware that Paul is her "cat" but also full believes he's a cat?

Yes Bill!

No Bill-!

Melissa I have a feeling your friends are gonna be freaked out by your human pets

"w e n e e d h e l p"

Yeah ofc they don't care

There's a community of ppl in hatchetfield that all have human pets

Ted you fucking horny bastard-

TED THIS IS YOUR CHANCE YOU CAN FUCK OTHER WOMEN LATER WHEN YOU ESCAPE THE TREAT PROBABLY ISN'T GONNA BE SEX ANYWAY YOU DUMBASS

"if you go near that door I will bark at you! I swear to god I will bark at you Paul!" this is another line I'll be quoting a lot

Please the Scooby Doo impression

Ya know... I don't actually think this is considered a treat for dogs...

Goddammit Ted's alive again

"you don't want to get another dog killed do you?" is so. So bad. Like Paul already feels terrible for accidentally getting a dog killed when he was young and now I can't imagine how he feels partially being the reason Ted's dead... And then Melissa saying this, like obviously everything she's done up to this point is worse but like goddamn the psychological hurt

BILL!!!

Bill.... Daddy.. No..

PLZ NO GIRLS DONT NOT BILL NOT BILL PLEASE

PAUL!!!

Bill you dumbass-

NO OFC A CAR WOULD HIT PAUL

A gun?

FREDDY?? I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S THE FUCKING HERO!? Also good job Melissa you forgot to kill him

HE'S APART OF THE FBI???

The Kitty Cat Club?

Okay come on you didn't have to saw paw

13?

Paul let it go she deserves to feel bad for this if nothing else

SHE'S GONE? HOW?

Paul- Paul- PAUL WHAT DID YOU DO

PAUL YES SHE IS A MONSTER SHE KILLED 13 PEOPLE YOU LITERALLY SAW HER KILL TED SHE WAS GOING TO KILL YOU TOO

PAUL WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

"love comes in all forms"

[samwearsreebok]

The Forgotten Uley

Sam's father left when he was young, taking nothing but the car and Sam's little sister.-

~Paul's pov~

I never really liked Sam's sister. So I wasn't bothered when she disappeared along with his dad. She was mean and hurt people just cause she felt like it, not that I could talk. unfortunately our dads were best friends so we were always around each other. no matter how often it ended in tears. Needles to say I learned not to tell girls their frilly dresses and pink dolls were dumb.

I never missed her. I never thought she would be coming back. I never thought that if she did she'd be this stunning. Tall and a really good figure. She had black curly hair cut like a boys. Her nose was the same as Sam's so was her eyes, she was still, some how, beautiful. I knew in my pants-

I was pleased when she walked into my science class and sat at my table. I got a better look at more than just her face. Her clothes were all black; a tight fitting band shirt, black skin tight jeans, doc Martins, and a bomber jacket the back covered in pins patches and bottle cap badges. Her makeup was minimum, I'd you didn't count the dark eye shadow, plum colored lips, and well the rest of the makeup.

I had to wrack my brain for her name. It took a hot second but Ryver eventually popped into my head. That sounds about right. Then Mr. Deshal called out "Miss can you come to the front of the class and introduce yourself?" She groaned getting up and walking swiftly to the front. To spite what her serious all black look made me think her answer would be, probably something like "I hate the world". She stood and said "My name is Ryver Uley I used to live in England..." but then she launched into a lengthy story on how she was killed by a gigantic lizard in 1832. Mr. Deshal had to tell her to sit down. Not that that knocked her smirk.

That was the best lesson I ever had. Not just because of the way her ass moved when she walked to the front of the class.

As I walked to lunch Jeremy chattered to me about the next basketball game and how we were 'so gonna win it'. To be honest, I thought he sucked at basketball and that he would make us loose. But I didn't say anything, cause I'm nice like that. That thought was worth a laugh. I had almost completely forgot about Ryver Uleys beautiful face. But alas I was in the popular click. The girls in our group always had some new drama or gossip, predictably todays was Ryver. "I sit with her in science." I offered to the girls, immediately Emily hit me with a Machine gun fire of questions "What's she like? I bet she's a total weirdo!I bet she is have you seen her jacket?" honestly I should have known better this were always so judyg.

I guessed this would be Ryvers shot at making friends over. or not I kind of just realized there was nothing Stopping me from going over to the table she was sitting alone and talking to her. So I did.

"Hey Ryver,"

"what do you want?" She spat

"Damn, to have a conversation." I retorted

"why so you can go tell those skancs you were sitting with," each word got snappier and more agitated, but the last part was said with a fake sickly sweetness. "all the hot goss on the new girl?" I was dumb founded. Girls usually blushed and giggled when I talked to them. "Cat got your tounge?" she asked when I didn't respond. Then She picked up her tray and left.

[coffeeman777]

Tagged by @therebelknights

Thanks!

1. Were you named after anyone?

Middle name, after King David.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last Sunday, during worship at church. I cry during prayer and worship all the time.

3. Do you have kids?

I do, three of them. A set of twins (one boy, one girl) that will turn 11 in a couple months, and a younger girl who is about to turn 9.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I dunno what constitutes "a lot," but I can be pretty sarcastic in the right setting.

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Really depends on the context of the meeting, but generally I notice how a person smells before anything else.

6. What is your eye color?

Blue around the outside, greener towards the center with little flecks of brown around the pupil.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Both. I'm not a fan of slasher flicks, gore, or anything demonic, but I really like mysteries and psychological thrillers. And I'm all about good winning in the end.

8. Any special talents?

Not really. I'm pretty average.

9. Where were you born?

The midwest, USA.

10. Have any Hobbies?

I love Christian theology and eschatology, video games, movies, fantasy novels, and working out. I also like hiking, but I honestly haven't done much of it in years.

11. Have any pets?

Three, two cats (Logan and Belle), and a dog (Daphne).

12. What spots do you play/ have you played?

Not a big sports guy, but I played baseball, soccer, and football in middle school.

13. How tall are you?

5'11.

14. What is your favorite subject at school?

My favorite subject used to be history, especially ancient history.

15. Dream job?

I want to be an itinerant minister. I want to travel everywhere and preach the Gospel. I want to be teaching Scripture all day, every day. I want to live a life like Paul did in the book of Acts, even if it means I have to go through the bad parts too.

Anyone following me who wants to participate, please consider yourself tagged.

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Thanks for the tags @peony-pearl and @sleepyghoststories 💖💖💖

1. Were you named after anyone?

A fictional character from a movie my parents watched while dating.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't remember. Which means I'm due for a breakdown soon.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

It's how I cope

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Usually their appearance/outfit

6. What is your eye color?

Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings ❤️

8. Any special talents?

I can roll my eyes to the back of my head. Makes for excellent zombie impressions.

9. Where were you born?

illinois

10. Have any Hobbies?

Drawing, writing, cosplaying

11. Have any pets?

No but I always wanted a cat

12. What spots do you play/ have you played?

I used to do track and volleyball

13. How tall are you?

5'7"

14. What is your favorite subject at school?

Art class

15. Dream job?

In a perfect world, writer and voice actor.

Tags: @avatardoggo @exhaustedhope @wingchunwaterbender @friendrat @trashfactorysstuff @emmelinekahuyan @love-airy @love-n-purple @longing-for-rain @moonlitxeuphoria @its-booklovr @monochromeswirl @fireliliesstuff @evsalonyx @ekwolfwriter-blog

[sholiofic]

Hi! Idk if you're taking prompts but one of your fic gave me this idea: Sam notices symptoms of touch-deprivation in Zemo and, Sam being Sam, he wants to help in any way he can. So he starts by touching Zemo whenever there's and opportunity and Zemo goes from being deeply weirded out to secretly looking forward to a familiar touch.

Also posted on AO3: Hands On.

This lovely prompt set off my latest prompt fest, so I hope you're still around, anon, and feel free to leave another!

---

The first time Sam touches Zemo—just a casual hand on his back, propelling him forward in Madripoor, nothing special about it—he feels Zemo flinch.

It's not that big of a thing. They were just shot at. Anyone's gonna be a little jumpy, even their resident hyper-controlled fur-collar-coat asshole.

But it's a recurring thing. Zemo doesn't really have a problem touching people, although he doesn't go out of his way to do it. But people touching him is something that he ... reacts to. Sometimes he jerks away, sometimes he just kind of goes with it with an almost hedonistic sort of pleasure, even if it's something like Walker handcuffing him to a piece of machinery.

Man's been in solitary for years, Sam thinks. And before that, his entire family died, and he built a whole new life around a single-minded revenge quest. It must be like going cold turkey on human touch, from a wife and son and the military camaraderie of squadmates and friends, to being completely and utterly isolated, physically and otherwise.

And he's already figured out that Zemo is kind of a people person, in certain ways. Not a complete extrovert. Zemo is a private person who plays his cards close to the vest. But you can't be around him for long without noticing that he tends to gravitate towards people. He likes an audience. He likes doing things for people, feeding them and that kind of thing. There's a sort of old-world noblesse oblige attitude about it that grates on Sam, but on some level, he's pretty sure it's genuine. There's no telling what Zemo was like in the old days, but these days, he likes to be around people.

Or, more simply: he's lonely.

He's lonely and touch-starved and there's no way Sam can not feel sympathy for that.

*

It's not until the second time they get Zemo out of prison—on a semi-official sort of work release this time, with a tracker that they all pretend Zemo can't disable anytime he wants to, and a second, secret one that they're pretty sure he doesn't know about, of Wakandan make—that Sam actually finds himself doing something about it. Or trying to. It's not like Zemo's touch-starvation hell isn't of his own making, but by this point, Sam actually kind of reluctantly likes the guy, and—well, he wants to.

So he does.

It's casual, just a touch here, a hand on the shoulder there; if nothing else, he can at least get Zemo past that startle reflex. Sam is a hands-on person anyway, and he's already done something kind of like this with Bucky. Very different circumstances, of course, and it was really more ... accidental, with Bucky. But maybe that's just proof of concept.

He's pretty sure that Zemo notices something, but it's hard to say what, exactly, Zemo thinks is going on. Initially, at least, Zemo seems to treat it as a slight infringement on his personal autonomy, sort of like a cat being petted without permission. When Sam puts a friendly hand on his arm or shoulder, Zemo glances down at it with a slightly affronted expression and then ignores it.

There is a very interesting week in which Sam gets the general impression that he and Zemo have somehow become involved in an escalating series of tiny acts of combative friendship: Zemo tries to feed them enough tea to float the Paul & Darlene, paired with small shortbread cookies, while Sam brings coffee every day and pats Zemo's shoulder a lot, and Bucky looks like he's one more shortbread cookie away from pitching them both into the Gulf of Mexico.

But somehow they settle into a sort of ... truce isn't quite the right word, probably, but it's a situation where Sam treats Zemo exactly as he would, say, one of his dad's old fishing buddies, with a casual, everyday sort of hands-on camaraderie, and Zemo at the very least doesn't try to stab or poison him, so he's going to call it a win.

*

Despite all the good intentions in the world, the Paul & Darlene is an absolutely terrible pursuit vessel for going after a suspected HYDRA smuggling speedboat. But they do actually catch up to them through Sam's insider knowledge of currents in the Gulf, which turns into a pitched battle on the fishing boat's deck, and the end result of that is Sam getting brained with a gaff hook while trying to get a HYDRA goon off Bucky's back, and falling over the railing into the clear silvergreen waters of the Gulf.

It's Zemo, he hazily understands afterwards, who dives in after him—Zemo who hands him up to Bucky on the deck, and Zemo who holds onto him while he coughs up about five gallons of seawater and Bucky steers them back toward the coast. (The speedboat, he gathers later is, is left bobbing with a GPS tracker and a handful of HYDRA operatives tied up on deck for SHIELD to come collect.)

"How is he?" Bucky asks from above Sam, a shadow cast across the painfully bright sky. Sam submits to being manhandled down into the boat's single small berth, and collapses in dizzy misery as his head injury combines with the rocking of the boat to produce a highly unpleasant mix of sensory input. Also, his throat and the back of his nose still feels like they were cored out with salt, and he has the mother of all headaches. Someone—he's really not sure which of them, honestly—gets some water and painkillers into him, and then he turns his face to the bulkhead and pulls the scratchy wool blanket over him and finds some solace in the boat's steady rocking, a callback to his childhood.

He wakes an unknown time later to the rhythmic jarring of the boat skipping over waves. They're moving at a good clip; he can almost read the speedometer from the rhythm of their thumping impacts on the ocean's slow, rolling wavetops. He tries to move, but there's a drag on his arm. He turns his aching head sluggishly to find Zemo sitting beside the bed, reading a book by a bedside lamp in the shadowed interior of the Paul & Darlene's cabin. Clear gold sunshine comes down through the steps leading up to the pilothouse, where there's a shadow that is probably Bucky, piloting the boat as Sam taught him.

Sam tries to raise his hand to his face, and that's when he realizes that Zemo's hand is wrapped loosely around his wrist. And Sam suddenly gets where Zemo is coming from; it is actually kind of strange having Zemo holding onto him like that.

"What?" Zemo says, all innocence, when Sam looks at him. "Do you need anything? Water? Tea? A trip to the head, perhaps?"

"No, I'm fine," Sam mutters, and slouches down in the bed.

Zemo goes back to reading, but his hand stays on Sam's arm, fingers lightly curled over his pulse point, until Sam drifts back to sleep.

[bitchapalooza]

Hetalia nekotalia headcanons(covering just a few of them)

It seems weird that the cats would just be called "Italy-cat" by the actual nation whose name is already Italy so I wasted my time in figuring out their possible breeds and searching up acceptable names(unless stated otherwise) for them that the nations may pick for them and even where the nations obtained these cats. I think they've come to value these cats on the same level as themselves due to how long they may have been around(the same goes for whatever other pet(s) they may own). I thought this was a fun thing to do and honestly it was! :)

Might do more when I get the time again~

***Tw for mentions of animal abuse***

Americat:

Domestic long hair, possible Maine Coon mix!

I think America adopted his cat in the 1980s. He was just a kitten, abandoned outside a supermarket in a box with a sign with one other kitten inside. At least 2 months old. America, having a big heart and soft spot for animals of any kind, took them both in. However he was already struggling to buy proper food for his other animals so he needed to find a different home for them. America ended up keeping one, as he fell absolutely head over heels for him, and named him Liberty— for obvious personal reasons. America raised him for the majority of his life as an indoor cat but with how much energy he has he decided to train him to be an outdoor cat as well, even teaching him to use the doggy door. This gave him enough room to actually grow faster into the adult cat he is now compared to if he'd ALWAYS be around America(as in staying small due to the slow aging around America).

Canacat:

Domestic longhair, possible Maine Coon mix!

Canada adopted him after America offhandedly asked. Canada was pretty stuck when it came to naming him. It was 4 weeks into owning him, mostly calling him a range of names such as Paul and Rookie but never sticking to one for even one whole day, but when Canada was just sitting there eating breakfast before leaving for his daily duties, just a normal quiet morning it came to him. Again, he was just sitting there. That is until the kitten figured out how to climb onto the chair next to him that is. He sat there meowing and pawing at Canada's thigh for 10 minutes while Canada ate. And then he tried to jump onto the table 3 times in a row. Canada gave in and allowed him up there for a minimum of 3 minutes. Not even 1 second passed and suddenly the little rascal is trying to steal the last couple bites of pancake. That was apparently what he wanted. And so Canada named him Pancake! Pancake was an energetic little kitten that a spring in his step but he did mellow out as he grew into adulthood. He's mainly an indoor cat. Come winter time when it snows, Pancake has a tendency to forget the existence of snow so he goes bolting for it only to regret it later.

Germany-cat:

A black or gray German Rex!

Germany isn't exactly a big cat person, he prefers dogs. But after this kitten followed Prussia's cat all the way home and noticed how thin he was he couldn't resist taking care of him. Germany ended up naming him Maus in reference to how tiny and often silent his meow was as a kitten. Now it's just a hilarious name as he's grown quite big and has a very strong meow! Maus is a very well behaved cat although it seems he doesn't favor being played with. He's most often seen at the top of his cat tower or in the window basking in the warm sun. As he was previously found as a stray outside he still does favor being outside. He tends to escape whenever Germany unlocks the doggy door or when Germany let's the dogs out in the backyard to run around for a bit. Maus may be a very mellow cat but he does tend to be loud when he wants food and doesn't want to wait for it. He also tends to attack people when suddenly being pet.

Prussia-cat:

An albino German Rex!

Prussia adopted him in 1998 after his and Germany's new home became a little overrun with mice. Prussia affectionately named him Gunther. Gunther was a spunky little kitten, in fact he was the runt of 6 other siblings and noticeably different to his siblings in appearance(originally thought to just take after the father's white coat despite the orange coats of his siblings and mother). Prussia chose him, the teeny little runt, after watching him easily sneak up and take down his bigger sister and win the play-fight he started. Prussia proudly took him home and trained him to catch the mice! Some years later, Gunther apparently got curious and brave and got loose outside. He was gone for weeks. He came back with a limp, a fresh scar, and a kitten clinging to his side. Gunther rarely escapes outside anymore. Prussia didn't know Gunther was albino until took he took him to the vet for his shots.

Itabby and Romano-cat:

They're both European shorthairs!

When the Italies were freshly unified and everything was still pretty awkward they were forced to go bond by taking walks every morning. Veneziano didn't mind this, he enjoyed the morning and even more so the countryside around them. Romano however could care less about it all and just wanted his bed back. Veneziano was all conversation, very observant of his surroundings as he commented on them to strike up an interesting conversation. And that's how he noticed a man cruelly stuffing two kittens into a sack on their way out of town. After alerting his brother, the two confronted the man. The man claimed these two were sick because neither were getting any of their mother's milk like the rest. Romano demanded he hand the kittens over or else he'd regret it. Veneziano annoyed him with his whining to the point where he gave in and handed them over quite harshly. Once they got them safely away from the man they took a look at the 1 week old kittens; they were both terribly skinny but clearly hanging on for dear life and the brothers both agreed, for once(well more like Romano kept saying "whatever the fuck you want"), that they wanted to help these poor creatures. Luckily for them they knew a stray cat that just had another litter of 3 and could perhaps try to get her to accept two more. And she did! Well it took a day but she did eventually take them in and feed them. Veneziano immediately decided that once they were old enough to eat solid foods he was going to keep one of them and name him Gino! It took a while for Romano to warm up to the idea of keeping even one but he eventually did. He took the other kitten and named him Sonno. They've lived so long due to just how clingy they are to the brothers. Their aging was so slowed down because of how often they're near the Italies that they didn't become fully grown adult cats until some time around 1932.

Japan-cat:

Japanese bobtail!

Named Yoshi* for being Japan's little lucky charm. Yoshi was left behind by his previous family after they moved away. He left his home and began wandering around until he got to Japan's house. Taking notice of how the cat stuck around his house, Japan began feeding him. And feeding him. And feeding him. And eventually he accepted the idea that he was now a cat owner. Not knowing his previous name, Japan decided to rename him Yoshi. Because of Yoshi, Japan began to come outside more and more each day as he is an outdoor cat that seldomly comes inside anymore. What's more is Yoshi came into his life in 1999, just a few months before 2000— aka when The Lost Decade was coming to an end as well as his personal on and off string of depressive episodes. Japan spoils Yoshi with treats and only the best cat food he can afford!

*The real name given to him by Himaruya is Tama, most likely a reference to calico cat Tama from Kinokawa, Wakayama Prefecture, Japan(that's at least what I've gathered). Before I knew this(in my early fandom days) I headcanoned his name to be Yoshi, as I said above it was a reference to luck(I didn't have as easy and unmonitored access to the internet as I do now so I never had a steady way to look these things up). I like Tama as well but I still can't get the name Yoshi out of my mind! I'm not sure if Yoshi and Tama can be combined like some names here in America can be combined(like Lilian Pad[as in Lily Pad] or Patches Poo) and I don't want to attempt it in case I get it wrong no matter how much research I do.

Austria-cat:

Domestic longhair!

Austria has quite the soft spot for this kitty surprisingly. He was born on his estate after his mother wandered in and settled between a couple bushes in his garden. He was born one of three kittens, almost entirely identical to his mother. Austria ended up giving names to all the cats but this one specifically was named Mozart— for very obvious reasons on Austria's part. The mother cat and two of the other kittens ended up moving along a year later after Austria decided to renovate part of his house; however the only one to stick around was Mozart. Austria would let Mozart come inside if only he could manage to pick him up. Mozart will jump into his lap outside, brush up against him, greet him in the morning, allow him to come near(especially with food and clean water) and even pet him but he won't ever peacefully allow Austria to carry him. Mozart was originally thought to be a Ragdoll however it was France who identified him to be a simple domestic longhair instead.

China-cat:

Burmese cat!

Originally a stray that endlessly bothered a shop owner and his own cat, China attracted his attention when he fed him only once. This cat followed him all the way to the hotel he was staying at not far from the little shop, which annoyed him greatly but honestly gave him a little laugh as well. As his car ride home was only going to be an hour at best he decided to at least attempt to bring the little fella home for proper care and attention. And obviously it worked. On his way home he decided a name like Zhi seemed perfect for him! Something told China Zhi was used to car rides and being around people, which told him Zhi was originally in a loving home. Feeling a little sad that this nice loyal cat was living on the streets he began to pamper him. Now Zhi expects to be brushed twice a day, let out at least once a day to soak in the sun's warmth and lay in the soft grass. He's fed the best food possible, has more toys that he knows what to do with. China's cellphone is overrun with videos of Zhi playing fetch— a trick he didn't teach him which, to him, is further proof he had a previous owner.

Russia-cat:

Siberian cat!

Taken in from a rescue shelter, at first fostered, then adopted. Russia kept the name the shelter gave him, Boris, as it fit him very well considering his past. Boris was unfortunately neglected when his previous owner was around. His fur was matted, he was skin and bones, upon pick up he had an eye infection. He was terribly scared of people. After being treated and showed kindness, it wasn't very long for him to open up. When Russia came along and took him in to give him all the proper attention he lacked, Boris fell in love with it. And Russia fell in love with having a cat around. Before anyone could swoop in and try to adopt Boris, Russia already put in to adopt. Now Boris is a happy healthy cat who's favorite toy to play with is Russia's supply of yarn. Boris loves bird or feather based toys the most, however, and will often drag his favorite feather wand over to Russia so he'd play. He's not much of an outdoor cat but after being kept mostly in a small cage since birth he does enjoy at least laying on the porch outside.

France-cat:

A Sacred Birman with light creamy point colouration!*

Obtained as a newly born kitten in 1992, France had offered to help nurture him as his mother had died shortly after giving birth. France named him Minou, more so in honor of his deceased mother Minet rather than it being a common French cat's name(some assume he was lazy with his naming). Minou grew up to be properly spoiled and loved by France. From the time he could see and walk properly, France began putting light outfits and accessories on him for very small amounts of time(like hats and ties mainly to avoid overheating). Minou often silently greets France at the door whenever he comes home, barreling through the hallway or off the couch in order to get some much needed love and attention. He surprisingly gets along very well with France's pet birds, only ever going after them once as a kitten. Minou can be found in his luxurious cat bed made of cardboard from the cat tower's box and a quilt France had crafted long long ago that's now drastically torn in various places. OR he can be found planting his fanny on France's face at night, nearly suffocating him. Minou seems to have a likeness for Russia and England.

*I know France-cat doesn't have any visible point colorations to him but him being a Persian doesn't fit him in my opinion, especially a blue eyed white cat. There's a high percentage of blue eyed white cats being deaf. However a common trait in Birmans are blue eyes so that, to me, fits better.

Iggycat:

Scottish fold-American shorthair mix!*

Obtained through a small litter from a colleague. England named him Lopsy  immediately upon seeing him, completely falling in love with him. Due to Lopsy's health concerns(osteochondrodysplasia) he's strictly an indoor cat. He's not very playful due to the pain he endures so he's prone to lay about, especially in England's lap, in his cat bed that sits directly under the window to reach the sunlight, or under England's bed. Despite being on them for so long, it still takes quite the struggle to give Lopsy his medication as he's come accustomed to when England is preparing to give it to him. As he's not very active, Lopsy isn't too fond of France's, America's, or Canada's cats— all of which tend to love playing together. However there are times when Minou is in non-playful mode where Lopsy will lay near or eat with him, but will absolutely refuse to lay with since Minou does have a tendency to attack another cat's tail without warning.

*The reason I see him as a mix is due to the major health concerns breeding two Scottish folds together can bring. However, breeding a Scottish fold with an American shorthair or British shorthair is often the better choice as there's less issues involved. There's talk about banning the breed all together. Even with this talk, breeding persists, preferably for cat shows from the sound of it. There's even research going into fixing these health concerns but it seems incurable due to the Scottish fold disease seeming to be a very dominant trait no matter what secondary breed it's bred with. Scottish fold disease doesn't always occur in a litter, mostly being a 50% change.

Spain-cat:

European shorthair!

Named Vivo for his lively personality, this little guy was found in the rain, drenched and hungry. He looked to be roughly 3 months old, very well fed and groomed so Spain assumed he had a family he ran away from for whatever reason. Without any other solution, Spain took him in until someone came to pick him up. A few weeks go by without anyone coming to claim him, so Spain opted to keep Vivo. Vivo is very loving, he possess a strong purr and often falls asleep purring. He's a lap cat but also has a tendency to curl up on or near Spain's shoulder when he's on the couch. Vivo is mainly an outdoor cat, often chasing mice or other vermen away from the garden without ever destroying it. Spain is pretty grateful to of found him as it had gotten quiet with Romano gone and all. And Vivo defiantly brought some noise to the house! He's not always vocal but when he is he tends to run around happily meowing for attention. He's surprisingly very territorial however— when introduced with then young kits Gino and Sonno, the Italies' cats, Vivo almost attacked them. It took small steps forward to get the three of them to warm up to each other. It also took a while to warm Vivo up to Minou and Gunther.