#honestly I was wondering who they were going to kill off to connect the next season

[fioletowa-krowa]

I ASSUMED IT WAS GONNA BE THE CHICK. HOW CAN IT BE FUCKING LESTER??????!!!!!???!??!!?!??!?!?!

[makoodles]

ミ tìtunu

part one | part two | part three (nsfw) | part four (nsfw

🍓pairing: tsu'tey x human fem reader

🍓word count: 9k words (oops)

🍓warnings: alien courting rituals, misunderstandings, accidental sexy touching

yoooo i was not expecting people to like this ahhahahaha but thank you all so much for all your lovely excited comments! they've been so fun to read and honestly pushed me into writing this faster! pls forgive me if i forgot to tag you (i tried to include everyone that asked) 🍓 masterlist

reblogs are always enormously appreciated!

Tsu’tey is beginning to wonder if he had received some irreparable damage to his head in the fall from the sky that had nearly killed him all those months ago. It’s the only explanation for what’s gone so terribly wrong with him.

After his failed first attempt at courting, you don’t come back to the village for a few days. It’s probably a good thing, Tsu’tey tries to convince himself; he needs to decide what it is he truly wants, and how far he’s willing to go to get it. But even though he tries to use the time to himself productively, he finds himself on edge and impatient.

His foul mood is clear to the whole village to see, and so it’s only a matter of time before someone confronts him about it. 

It’s just his luck that the person who approaches him about it is Jakesully.

“So,” The new Olo’eyktan drawls as he sidles up to where Tsu’tey is watching a group of young warriors training with their longbows, “Word has it that you’ve chosen a mate.”

They may be brothers in arms and tentative friends, but that doesn’t mean that Tsu’tey is pleased to have him poking around his business. His ears flatten back in a wordless warning to back off, but Jakesully pays no heed to it.

The bastard is grinning, as though this is the most entertained he’s been in weeks. “Word has it that your chosen mate is human.”

“Do not speak on matters you do not understand.” Tsu’tey bares his teeth in a move that is bold at best, considering he is speaking to his clan chief.

But Jakesully just laughs, his stupid shoulders straightening. He has become so confident since becoming one of the people, and Tsu’tey envies him for it. He was sure of himself just like Jakesully once, but now it seems like all he does is doubt himself.

“Relax, brother.” Jakesully says casually, leaning on one leg as he follows Tsu’tey’s gaze out towards the young warriors. “You are too tense. How could she want someone so grumpy?”

Tsu’tey turns to him then, his tail coiled in a tense loop as he glares. “She is a demon.”

Jakesully just rolls his eyes. It's a gesture so human that it’s almost jarring. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that he is alien, just like you.

“Everyone sees the way you look at her.” Jakesully says, raising a brow at him. “It’s a different kind of scowl than you give everyone else.”

Tsu’tey doesn’t think that he scowls that much. He tries to force the frown off his face as he turns to look at Jakesully head on.

“It does not matter what you think you see,” He bites out, frustrated and on-edge with embarrassment. “She is tawtute. Sky demon. She does not see, cannot connect with the People or with Eywa.”

Jakesully is nodding, but he still has that infuriating smirk curling around his mouth that suggests he understands Tsu’tey’s feelings better than Tsu’tey himself does.

“That hasn’t stopped you so far, has it?” He points out with a faux-innocent tone that is utterly unconvincing. “I mean, you certainly seem happier to show her around and explain things to her than you ever were with me.”

“That is because she listens, Jakesully.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jakesully waves this away as if it’s inconsequential, before his expression shifts. 

The next look he levels at Tsu’tey is uncomfortably sober. 

“Look. I know that you’ve been having a hard time since...” He trails off, and his eyes dart down towards the harsh, ugly scars that cover Tsu’tey’s torso from where the brutal human weapons called bullets had nearly torn him apart. “Look, who cares what anyone else thinks? The People are still wary of the humans left over, but they’re looking to you as an example on how they should act. You could set a precedent here.”

Tsu’tey clenches his jaw as he stares out at the warriors. Instead of answering, he shouts out to one of the younglings near the edge of their makeshift firing range. “Netu’li, keep your elbows up.”

Netu’li fixes his posture, and the next arrow he looses hits home in a perfect bullseye. Tsu’tey nods in satisfaction.

Jakesully is still staring at the side of his face, and Tsu’tey realises that there is no way for him to escape this conversation. He takes a breath, and tries to ignore the resentful embarrassment coiling in his belly.

“She did not accept my advances.” He mutters, his ears flattened against his skull.

Irritatingly, Jakesully doesn’t seem bothered by this in the slightest. 

“Oh yeah?” He drawls. “Hm. Well, I never thought you’d give up so easily. I’m surprised.”

Tsu’tey flicks a quick glance his way. What a ridiculous, painfully transparent attempt at goading him into admitting the interest he’s been trying to deny. The worst part is that it might actually be working.

“I did not say I was giving up.” Tsu’tey says sharply, well aware that he’s playing right into Jakesully’s hands right now. “I am just… I am thinking.”

Jakesully raises his stupid eyebrows, but Tsu’tey is studiously avoiding looking at him now. This whole situation was mortifying enough when it was all going unsaid; now that it’s being discussed, Tsu’tey feels like climbing inside of a yomioang plant and never coming out. 

“Well,” Jakesully sounds smug, which should be a warning in itself, “You’d better do some thinking quickly, because I believe that’s her coming now.”

Tsu’tey straightens quickly, and tosses a look over his shoulder. Sure enough, your familiar figure is standing awkwardly by the treeline. It seems as though you’re reluctant to step further into the village; you’re fidgeting with your fingers, eyes darting around until they finally find him.

Something in his lower belly leaps, and he finds himself taking a sharp inhale through his nose at the sight of you. It’s been days since he’s last seen you, and he had been beginning to wonder if you would ever seek him out again. The sight of you here is a ridiculous sort of relief, one that he doesn’t even want to fully think about. Even better is the fact that you look alright, you look healthy. It doesn’t seem as though he’s done lasting damage to you with the meat.

You smile at him, and even from across the village he feels his heart thump against his ribcage. Perhaps you don’t hate him after all.

Aware of your eyes on him, Tsu’tey hefts his longbow from his back and shoots an arrow. It flies straight through the target, and hits it with a heavy, satisfying thump.

Jakesully just laughs. “Wow. Impressive.”

“Be silent.” Tsu’tey grumbles, his tail coiled tightly around his leg. He is anxious in a way that is entirely unbefitting of a warrior, and he resents you for being the cause of it. “I do not wish to speak to her.”

“Oh, come on!” Jakesully tilts his head back, shaking his head as though Tsu’tey is nothing but a child. “I thought we just talked through this!”

Tsu’tey ignores him. He can feel your gaze on his back like a weight, and though he stands straight and tall he cannot bring himself to turn around and meet your eyes. It’s all too much – even from across the camp your presence needles at him, and he hasn’t even decided on what he’s going to do just yet.

Jakesully’s eyes on the side of Tsu’tey’s face don’t help very much either. “Where’s all your confidence from the other night gone, when you practically declared what you wanted in front of the whole clan?”

Tsu’tey’s tail lashes restlessly. That had been a moment of pure madness. “It was rash of me.”

Jakesully just makes a face. “Whatever. Look, if the People could accept a skxawng like me as Olo’eyktan, why wouldn’t they accept your interest in a human mate? They respect you; they’ll respect your choices.”

It’s a reasonable point, but Tsu’tey remains stubbornly silent. It rankles, the way that Jakesully is trying to insert himself into his business. Tsu’tey’s thoughts and feelings about you are confused and conflicted, but they’re private. The way Jakesully speaks about you as though he knows you makes Tsu’tey’s skin prickle.

“I must think on it.” Tsu’tey says at last. It’s a weak response, but he just wants to buy himself some time.

Perhaps Jakesully is right. Tsu’tey has always been strong-willed and stubborn, and has always known exactly what he wanted. Now though, he's floundering. Now he doesn’t know what he wants, and he’s casting about desperately in the hopes that someone will advise him on what to do. After having his life and expectations so soundly upended, he just wants to make his clan proud. He wants their approval, but Jakesully is right – when has he ever given up on anything just because it posed a challenge?

“Fine.” Jakesully says, jarring Tsu’tey from his thoughts. He had nearly forgotten the Olo’eyktan was still there, and it’s unnerving to realise that he’s being watched with a smug sort of smirk. “I’ll keep her company for today, then. Considering you need your space.”

Tsu’tey’s jaw clenches hard but he does not protest. He can’t, not after making such a big deal out of not wishing to speak to you today. His pride is hurt, and all he can do is double-down on his position. Besides, Jakesully is mated to Neytiri, and Tsu’tey knows that he would rather die than stray from her.

That doesn’t stop him from turning his head as Jakesully leaves his side, watching with sharp eyes as the Olo’eyktan approaches you. Even from this distance, he can see the little smile on your face through your mask as you tilt your head up towards him. The sight of it causes something to curdle in his low belly. 

That should be him on the receiving end of your sweet little smile. It’s a selfish thought, but one that he can’t quite shake off. The sense of possessiveness surprises even him, and he watches with narrowed eyes as Jakesully leans down to say something to you.

When Jakesully’s stupid five-fingered hand touches upon your shoulder to lead you away to somewhere else within the camp, Tsu’tey feels his tail whip around his ankles in aggravation. 

I will try again, He thinks wildly as he turns back around to stare unseeingly at the practicing warriors in front of him. And this time I will not fail to impress.

Now that Tsu’tey has reached the decision to court you (officially), there is much to be prepared. He has never been one to take half-measures, and initiating a courtship is certainly no exception. You may not be Na’vi, but he will court you with all the respect and courtesy as he would if you were one of the People. 

Part of him wonders if his decision is written across his face somehow, because the People of the village seem to know. When he begins searching for materials to make an official courting gift for you, he begins getting help from unexpected places. 

Some of the children have started leaving pieces of twine and plant fibre in his treehut, and he is pleased to find that it is of good enough quality to begin weaving immediately. The old woman, A’nayla, who is the best at carving beads in the whole village, slaps his hands away impatiently when he attempts to pick out a number of beads for your gift. She directs him instead to some of her shiniest and most vibrant beads, and refuses to make any trades. A gift, she had insisted, her old face crinkling in a knowing smile as she had waved him away.

He feels supported, even more so when Neytiri visits him in his treehut one evening after dinner. It has been a few days since you visited the encampment, but Tsu’tey is determined to have everything in good order before he approaches you in earnest. 

When Neytiri enters the small hut he had built in the trees when they first settled in this encampment, she takes a moment to peer around with a neutral expression.

Tsu’tey has been sitting on the woven mat in the middle of the room, but he looks up and waits for his old friend to speak.

“My Jake has told me about your intentions with the tawtute.” She says after a long moment, stepping forward and sinking down to sit in front of him with her legs crossed. “Many people speak of it in the village.”

Tsu’tey’s ear twitches at that, embarrassed, but he just focuses back on his weaving. There’s no point denying it; he does not plan on hiding it for much longer, anyway.

“Yes.” He says simply. “My first attempt was… not successful.”

Neytiri hums. He thinks he can hear an undercurrent of amusement. “Yes. I saw.”

His ears flatten in earnest at that. He had hoped that no one had witnessed that particular humiliation, but that’s no matter. People will soon forget, and he will soon have you distracted with his second (and surely more successful) attempt. 

Her eyes fall on the half-finished woven piece in his hands, and she eyes it carefully. “That is too big. She is small, remember.”

“Of course I remember.” He snaps, before raising the half-finished jewelry to his face and squinting at it. “You think it will not fit?”

“Give me.” Neytiri demands, and stretches out her hand. 

Tsu’tey passes it without complaint. They have known each other since birth, certainly long enough to forgo any passing formalities and niceties. He trusts Neytiri with his life, his best-friend and once-potential-mate, and he finds himself waiting with his tail curled protectively beside him as he awaits her judgment; not only on his half-finished gift, but also on his choice of a mate.

“This decision I have made,” He says suddenly. “To court the sky demon. It is madness, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Neytiri speaks with hardly a hesitation, though she doesn’t raise her eyes from his weaving. She starts picking out a loop where he had made a mistake, and begins reweaving it with deft fingers. “But I will not be the one to judge you for that.”

“And Mo’at?”

“She thinks you are a skxawng.” Neytiri says easily, “But she loves you like a son.” The next look she darts at him is quick and sharp out of the corner of her eye. “Out of everyone in the village, your heart was the most firmly closed against the Sky People. Does that not make it all the more meaningful, that you have chosen a sky person as your mate?”

Tsu’tey is silent. He used to think that he knew exactly how his life was going to work out; he would be Olo’eyktan, he would mate with his first love Sylwanin, they would be happy and prosperous and strong together. But that future evaporated like mist before his eyes; not all at once, but gradually, until he could barely see the vapours. His reality is very different now; he clings almost desperately to the idea of you. There have been many people that Tsu’tey has not been strong enough to protect, but you are so small and soft – you need protecting more than anyone he’s ever known, and he’s determined not to let you down.

“She will accept,” Tsu’tey murmurs, before casting an uncertain glance in Neytiri’s direction. “Do you think so?”

“I see her look at you.” Neytiri murmurs back, her mouth curving. “She will accept.”

That brings a rush of relief so sudden and unexpected that Tsu’tey feels it like a physical blow. He keeps his head bowed in the hopes that it will not be so obvious, and hums absently as though he’s only half listening. It’s not enough to convince Neytiri, but he hopes that it works to recoup at least some of his pride.

“You have redecorated.” Neytiri comments, though her eyes stay focused on fixing the small section of the necklace that Tsu’tey had messed up. “Your kelku is inviting.”

That pleases Tsu’tey, and he sits up straighter. Decorating has never been a strong suit of his, and it presented more of a challenge than he had initially anticipated to decorate in such a way that it would appeal to a human. He knows you are very interested in the plants of his planet, considering the amount of time you spend studying them, so he has effectively cushioned the rough wooden walls and floors with softer wide leaves. From the ceiling hangs intense blue eanean flowers and hippophae leaves, lending a soft phosphorescent glow to the small space.

“Humans are weak,” Tsu’tey grunts. “Soft bones, fragile skin. She needs soft surroundings, too.”

Neytiri hums her agreement, before finally lifting her head. In her hands, the knot in the half-finished necklace has been unpicked and resolved. She hands it back, and Tsu’tey takes it cautiously into his hands before peering carefully at her work. Her hands are far more practiced in the art of weaving than his; she has done a wonderful job.

“Thank you.” He says quietly. He is appreciative on several levels; for her weaving, for her company, for her support.

She seems to pick up on what he isn’t saying, as usual. “You should approach her again soon. My Jake says that she is sad – she thinks she has upset you, and that you are angry with her.”

Tsu’tey raises his head sharply at that. He’s not sure if he’s more displeased at the idea that you are upset or the fact that you have apparently been confiding in Jakesully. It is difficult to push past the feeling that you should be confiding in him, that he should be the person offering you comfort. But how could you approach him when he was part of the problem?

“I will find her tomorrow.” He decides. The thought of him losing his chance is sickening – he can’t afford to wait until everything is perfectly prepared. He will just have to do his best with what he’s got so far.

Neytiri grins at him, her lips peeling back of her teeth in a way that is both joyful and intimidating.

“Sìltsan tìtaron.” She says, and Tsu’tey finds himself grinning back without conscious thought.

It is a customary saying in their tribe, used for both chasing prey and courting mates. Good hunting.

When the next day dawns, Tsu’tey curses himself for feeling nervous.

The last time he felt this way was the night before his iknimaya, when he was a fledgling warrior. Even then, he was so confident, his ego inflated by the simple fact that he had never experienced a loss before. 

This time is different. He finds himself anxious in a way that he is utterly unused to experiencing, and it makes him bare his teeth in frustration as he bounds down from his treehut into the village properly. It is already a hive of activity, and the familiar buzz of conversation and laughter eases some of the tension out of his shoulders. 

He will take this slow, he’s already decided. Slow and careful. 

The thought of you refusing him is something that he can’t bring himself to consider; he needs to show you that he is strong, that he is thoughtful and caring, that he can provide for you and keep you safe and make you happy. He has to convince you that there is no one who can care for you better than he can. 

Finding you is easy enough; the human scientists that have remained on the planet follow a routine, and you are no different. Besides, as some of the children in the village tell him, you have been lingering close to the village for days now. Ostensibly you are studying the plantlife, but Tsu’tey knows that you have likely been waiting to catch a glimpse of him. The realisation has a hollow feeling of guilt gnawing at his stomach, but he tries to push it aside – he will apologise soon.

He finds you in the forest, only a little while outside of the village. You are not alone; as is standard procedure, you are accompanied by three other scientists and a dreamwalker. 

Norm is as awkward as ever in his Avatar state, discussing whatever he is reading from his demon technology with wide eager eyes. Tsu’tey is familiar with Norm now, mostly against his will – Jakesully is fond of the scientist, and he has been invited to take part in village life on several occasions. Tsu’tey will begrudgingly admit that the dreamwalker is respectful of Na’vi life and culture and he has come to accept his presence both on his planet and around his people, but seeing him around you is making him fidgety.

One of the scientists is armed (and the sight of the gun makes his skin itch from the memory of bullets tearing flesh) and Norm is at least Na’vi-sized, but that is the extent of the protection they have brought. Tsu’tey’s fingers twitch. It is not enough. You are so small and fragile, entirely unsuited for his world. Don’t you know that? Don’t you know how dangerous it is to be out here like this with so little to protect you?

You’re so preoccupied with the helicoradian you’re studying that you don’t seem to notice anything else around you. Your head is bowed, your eyes bright and shiny with interest as you inspect the orange pigment dusting the leaves. 

The dappled light that filters through the trees casts shadowy patterns across your face in a way that is nearly mesmerising, and he ends up staring at you for a longer moment than he had originally intended. You are strange-looking and alien to him, and yet his fingers itch with the desire to touch you.

Tsu’tey leaps from the branch he had been watching you from, and lands neatly on the balls of his feet. His movements are nearly soundless, and none of the humans raise their heads. They don’t seem to sense his appearance at all.

His brow furrows in dissatisfaction. Anything could creep up on you, and you would not see it coming until it was too late.

He reaches out one leg and steps purposely on a twig. The snap is resounding, and the man with the gun whirls around and hoists the weapon higher, aiming at Tsu’tey’s chest.

He just bares his teeth in warning.

“No!” You yelp, throwing your hands up as soon as you realise what’s happening. “Don’t shoot him!”

Despite the situation, he’s sure that he looks quite smug. It feels good to experience you standing up for him, even if he doesn’t really need it – he could knock this puny little gun-toting tawtute into the dirt with a single backhand if he wished, though he refrains. He’s trying to be on his best behaviour.

“Fuck!” The little man yells, clearly spooked. “What does he want?”

That makes you falter, and you look up at him with uncertainty. It seems like you’re waiting for an explanation as well. All of the scientists are silent are apprehensive, eyeing him cautiously as they wait to see what he’s going to do. Their eyes linger around the knife strapped to his waist and the longbow strung over his shoulders.

Norm is looking at him with raised eyebrows, his ears perked up. Judging by his expression, Tsu’tey assumes that Norm has guessed exactly what he’s doing here.

“I wish to speak with you,” He tells you in Na’vi – he knows that some of the other scientists will be able to interpret his words, but it brings an illusion of privacy all the same.

You blink, but hesitate. When you don’t agree immediately, Tsu’tey feels his ears pin back. Your uncertainty is surely a bad sign for him – has he misjudged how upset you were?

He turns to the other humans and narrows his eyes at them. “Leave.”

They burst into motion satisfyingly quickly. The moron with the gun looks as though he is about to start arguing, but Norm hooks the long fingers of his demon body into the back of his collar and tugs him away. For once, the scientist is not being a nuisance.

You’re still standing there, turning to stare in apparent bewilderment at your comrades, who are practically fleeing. “What-”

“Come.” Tsu’tey says. Now that it’s just the two of you, he loses some of the edge in his voice.

 When he turns away and begins to lead you into the forest, you follow after him without complaint. Out of the corner of his eye, Tsu’tey can see you twisting your hands nervously. Your clear anxiety has him frowning – he wants you to be comfortable with him, not on edge.

Once he’s determined that you’re both far enough away from the other humans that they could not hear you, he turns to you. You’re already looking at him, fingers twisting as you bite at your lip.

 Calm and steady, Tsu’tey thinks to himself. Just apologise for ignoring her.

Apologising does not come easy to him, but he rolls his shoulder and takes a breath before opening his mouth.

“I’m sorry!” You blurt before he can make even a sound.

That throws him, and he ends up staring at you with his mouth ajar for a long moment like an absolute moron. Why are you apologising? This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

“I didn’t mean to get sick,” You continue, a little desperately, “I really did appreciate your hunting, it was very impressive and the meat was very nice, I swear I didn’t mean to come across as ungrateful-”

Oh no, are those tears he sees shining in your eyes? 

Tsu’tey feels as though he’s been frozen in place. He knows that his face is stuck in a confused scowl, but he can’t soften his expression no matter how hard he tries. Panic starts to curdle in his stomach. He may be a seasoned warrior, fearless in the face of fearsome opponents, but he finds himself at a total loss in this situation.

You just keep going – his silence seems to be making you even more upset. “I never meant to offend you, and I’m so, so sorry if I have. I never meant to make you angry-”

Finally, Tsu’tey manages to find his voice. “I am not angry.”

Even he has to admit that he doesn’t sound particularly convincing, but he’s never been an eloquent person. How does he explain that he’s not angry at you, he’s frustrated with himself? Right now, with you staring up at him with your eyelashes all wet and clumped together as your lower lip trembles, he feels like kicking his own ass.

He needs to make his move now, he realises wildly. Be conciliatory, he thinks. Let her know you are interested.

His voice sticks in his throat, but he manages to push the words out. They come out slightly strangled, but semi-confident all the same.

“Would you like to come fishing?”

You hesitate, and Tsu’tey feels his heart seize in his chest – you’re not going to turn him down, are you?

“Would I-” You begin, face crumpling. “What?”

Despite all the similarities in your bodies and faces, Tsu’tey finds himself floundering when it comes to reading your expressions. Is that disappointment? Confusion? Anger? It’s so difficult to tell with your tiny blunt ears and lack of a tail.

“Fishing.” He repeats. His own tail lashes restlessly, the only part of his body that moves at all. “Come and watch me fish.”

It doesn’t come out quite as smoothly as he had planned in his head the night before, sounding a little more like an order than an invitation, but Tsu’tey thinks it’s a victory just to get the words out at all.

You look a little lost, but you nod all the same. Your tears are blinked away, your expression smoothing a little. Is Tsu’tey imagining it, or do you look hopeful?

“I- alright.” You swallow, and your hands reach up to tug at your hair in what appears to be a compulsive sort of movement. “Yes. Fishing. Right.”

Tsu’tey barely stifles his reaction. A success. He can’t stop his ears from pricking up, but otherwise he tries to appear neutral – he doesn’t want to scare you off. 

“Come then.”

Just like before, you follow him readily through the jungle. He is careful to keep his back to you – it is a display of trust, to show off his conviction that you will do him no harm. It is mostly symbolic in your case, considering that you are unlikely to cause him any real harm even if you wanted to, but he is determined to carry out these courting rituals correctly even if the rest of this courtship is unconventional. 

His ears are pricked the whole time for signs of danger or any other signs of life approaching, and to ensure that you are close behind as the two of you make your way towards the river winding towards the Omaticaya stronghold.

“You don’t have a fishing rod.” You say when you both finally reach the river.

Tsu’tey has no idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds as though you’re doubting his ability to fish. 

He frowns, turning to squint at you – is this a challenge? Do you require him to prove his prowess right away? Displays of physical prowess and skill are part of the courting process, but he had thought that he had already done that with the hunt you had witnessed. But then again, the meat from the prey of that particular hunt had made you sick – perhaps you had decided not to count that hunt as an official courting display. 

You stare back at him, looking perfectly innocent, if a little confused.

Fine. Tsu’tey straightens his back, and pulls his bow from his back. If it’s a display of prowess that you want, that’s what you’ll get.

In one smooth movement, he draws, nocks, and looses an arrow. It lands true, hitting home in the sleek, smooth body of a large fish that has just darted out from behind a stone lodged in the riverbank. 

You let out a startled sort of sound, but lean forward quickly as Tsu’tey strides into the water and reaches for his catch. He had been planning on drawing this fishing display out a little longer, but it seems that you’re a demanding little thing. He doesn’t mind that; if anything, it will make satisfying you all the more exciting.

He retrieves his catch and holds it up for you to see. The fish is a large one, and it glints in the sweet sunshine that streams through the canopy of trees above you. It is a catch to be proud of, but he is careful not to be too pleased with himself until you react.

You laugh at the sight of the smooth glinting silver surface of his catch, clapping your hands together.

“Oh!” You call out, and you sound delighted. “Amazing! You make it look so easy!”

The praise sends a pleasant warmth effusing through his chest, and he feels a slow, hesitant grin begin to spread across his face.

“I am good at providing.” He tells you earnestly, stepping forward. He snaps off the long shaft of the arrow before proffering the fish towards you for your inspection.

You glance down, still smiling, but you don’t look particularly closely at his catch. That dulls some of his satisfaction – he glances down at the fish himself, wondering if there was something about it you found lacking.

“I know.” You murmur, tilting your head as you gaze up at him with lidded eyes. “You’re strong.”

His ears twitch like a child’s, and he nods, pleased. Hearing those words coming from the person he has chosen as a prospective mate fills him with a type of excitement that he has never experienced before. As a tawtute, you cannot connect with Eywa or with the People; but in this moment, Tsu’tey feels as though you see him anyway. 

He swallows, and sets his catch aside in the pouch at his waist. He feels flustered in a way that is entirely unlike him, and he has to push his reactions down deep. He doesn’t want you to think of him as a silly little youngling – he wants you to see that he has taken this decision to court you seriously.

Time for the next step.

“We are close to an area where the Tsahìk gathers her herbs for medicine,” He says, clearing his throat as he turns to look at you with wide, earnest eyes. “I have offered to collect some for her. Would you like to help?”

Plants have always fascinated you – he knows that the original reason that you came to his planet was to study the wildlife and the flora. He waits, hoping that he’s right in thinking that this is something you will enjoy.

Your strange, sweet little face brightens. “Really?”

Tsu’tey nods, relieved by your reaction. “You would like this?”

“Yes!” You breathe. For the first time since he had approached you, you relax in earnest and Tsu’tey finds himself mirroring you. 

He reaches out and cups your elbow as he helps you step over a log, and he doesn’t miss the little shiver and quick glance that you send towards his hand where it’s wrapped around your arm. It seems like you’re just as taken with the size difference between you as he is, and his lips begin to curl in excitement at the realisation. 

This is good, He thinks, biting at the inside of his cheek. He is very slow to remove his hand, and you make no move to shake him off. Very good.

Tsu’tey does not want to speak too soon, but he feels as though his courting attempts are going very well indeed.

You had loved gathering the medicinal herbs with him, even more than he had hoped – you had badgered him with questions, curious about the names of the plants and their properties and their appearances, and you had bounded along at his side with a bright grin the whole time. It had pleased him greatly to experience your interest in the ways of the Omaticaya and the life of his planet; it was proof that you could be taught, that you were willing to learn.

And most thrillingly of all, you were receptive to his advances. Over the next couple of days, he continues with his cautious attempts at approaching you with little gestures.

When he gives you flowers and pretty leaves, you take them with brilliant, near-blinding smiles. Every time he shows off by flexing or practicing wrestling with the other warriors, you watch with interested eyes and tiny smiles. Whenever he tentatively touches you, small brushes to your shoulders or hands or waist, you never flinch away – on several occasions, you lean into him. 

He tries not to let it go to his head, but it’s difficult. Since he’s started to admit his urges and his attraction to you, he swears it’s gotten worse. It feels like all he thinks about is you. He’s distracted during training, during his duties, during meals. He thinks about your reactions to his offerings, to your smiles, your scent, your voice. It really does feel like an illness, but it’s one he’s beginning to come to terms with if it means having you close by.

It’s beginning to get more difficult to keep his hands to himself. Traditionally, at this point in a courtship it would be acceptable for a courting pair to exchange flirtatious touches and other little intimacies, but Tsu’tey is aware that this is not exactly a conventional courtship. 

He’s trying to be careful, to avoid spooking you or making you uncomfortable or uneasy, but it’s beginning to wear on him. Though he’s getting bolder with his little touches, it’s not enough to quench the skin-hunger growing in him.

But no matter. The courtship is going well, and moving at a good pace. The next step is one of the most important ones. 

His carefully woven courtship necklace has been completed. It is customary to present a potential mate with a statement piece of jewelry, and Tsu’tey has spent several late nights fussing over the finishing touches. He recognises on some level that he’s stalling; it’s not in his nature to be nervous, but he’s beginning to grow nearly obsessive about getting the necklace as perfect as possible. It has been crafted to fit you exactly, with fibres and beads selected by him personally based on what he thinks you would like and what he thinks would suit your features. 

The finished product is eye-catching, and Tsu’tey feels nearly delirious at the thought of it decorating your neck. 

He crushes any semblance of nerves as best as he can, just like he might have done before a big hunt.

Of course you will accept his mating advances. Why wouldn't you? He is a strong warrior, a protector, desired by a great number of women. He could likely pick any woman he wanted out of the available women in the clan, and they would be honoured. Why would you be any different? You may be difficult to read at times, but he has laid his intentions out loud and clear and you have not shied away. You would accept him. 

His mating necklace for you feels like it’s weighing him down as he steps through the village. It’s tucked safely into the pouch at his waist, though his hand keeps drifting to his hip to check that it’s still there. He’s not unaware of the looks he gets as he makes his way towards the edge of the encampment, but he ignores them. No doubt many of his people have guessed at what he’s up to, but he can’t give them his attention right now; he’s too focused on you, now that he spots you sitting next to one of the large pxiut trees.

Your head is bowed over your silly little notebook, lost entirely in your own world. Tsu’tey’s steps slow as he approaches you, taking the opportunity to drink in the sight of you while you’re unaware of his gaze.

His eyes track over the curves of your strange features, the slope of your alien nose, the arch of your neck. Your features may be exotic, but he’s finally beginning to admit to himself what he’s been trying to deny for a while now – you’re attractive to him.

He likes your weird little face, your odd five-fingered hands, your thick silly accent when you speak his language. He likes that you are so much smaller than him, he likes that you are soft. 

He appreciates that you are patient with him, too. He knows he can be gruff and surly, and most people find him off-putting or intimidating, especially when they don’t know him. But you – you’re so calm and sweet, and you never seem to care when he’s stoically silent beside you. Most of the time when he’s around you, most of his brain-power goes into trying to keep his hands to himself, and he doesn’t have much intellectual power left to attempt conversation. He’s content with simply listening to you about whatever it is you wish to talk about, occasionally chiming in to ask a question or just to hum gently to show you he’s listening.

As he watches, you shift where you’re sitting and reach up to scratch absently at your neck. Beneath your odd human garments, your skin is glowing lightly with a thin sheen of sweat. Tsu’tey finds his eyes tracking over your exposed skin like a moron, and he clenches his jaw as he pulls himself together.

You're a warrior, you're a warrior, you’re a warrior, he chants in his head. He would not be cowed or intimidated by a tiny human.

You raise your head as he approaches, and a smile unfolds across your face. Your expression is bright, full of pure innocent happiness just to see him. He wavers, and nearly turns right back around.

“Hey, big guy.” You call out, setting your notebook aside as you beam at him. 

You’re waiting for him to join you, he realises. He jolts forward, his previously confident stride turning a little jerky under your sharp eyes.

“Hello, little demon.” He murmurs, keeping his voice low and level.

You bite at your lip, still watching him with that little smile on your face. He watches you back just as closely, even as he sinks down to sit next with you. Your smile melts into a little look of surprise; usually, when he comes to you it’s so he can invite you somewhere else, either to show you something or to give you something. Joining you as you just sit is new for both of you.

For a moment, you’re both quiet. It seems like you’re waiting on him to speak, but he stays silent. He’s trying to compose himself, to appear cool and calm as he reaches his hand towards the woven bag slung around his waist.

Finally, he says, “I have something for you.”

It comes out impressively calm and level. While he’s not a man prone to nerves or to doubting himself, this is entirely new territory for him. When your expression brightens into a look of excitement, he feels a new little seed of confidence build in his chest. You’re anticipating his gift, you want it. 

When he slips his hand into his bag, you sit up onto your knees so that you can watch him. Over the last few weeks, you’ve gotten used to receiving little flowers, plants, beads, or little carved figures. You accept each one with your usual brilliant, sweet smile; the thought of how you may smile at him when he gives you the necklace makes Tsu’tey’s tail flick eagerly.

He pulls it carefully out and hands it to you. As you take it your fingers brush his, and he twitches slightly as he stares at how small your hands are next to his.

“Oh,” You breathe, lifting up the necklace to eye level so you can get a good look at it. “I… Really? For me?”

“Yes.” He says simply, his eyes sharp and alert as they drink in every minute flicker that crosses your face. What are you thinking? 

“It…” You begin, and then pause. Tsu’tey is just beginning to feel like crawling out of his skin when you slowly continue. “Tsu’tey, it’s beautiful.”

You so rarely say his name, choosing instead to call him variations of big guy, and he feels a near physical jolt run down his spine at the sound of it in your mouth. He wants to hear you say it again.

He just hums, still watching your face. You are examining the necklace intently, fingering the beads and the weavework, and he feels his pride inflate the longer you inspect his work. You are giving real, earnest thought to his offering rather than simply making your decision rashly. He respects this, and revels under the careful consideration you’re giving his proposal. 

“You like it?” He murmurs. His voice comes out rougher than he had intended, and you jerk your head up to look at him.

Like this, your faces are very close together. Tsu’tey had leaned closer unconsciously as you were examining the necklace, and he makes no attempt to back off. Likewise, you make no attempt to retreat either, blinking up at him from behind the odd clear surface of your bubble-like mask.

“Yes,” You whisper, a shy, cautious smile beginning to bloom across your face. “Did you make this yourself?”

Tsu’tey just huffs. What sort of fool wouldn’t make their mating offering themselves?

 “Of course.”

“Oh.” You bite at your lip. You seem to be trying to suppress your smile, though he can’t imagine why. He wants to see it, now more than ever.

You are certainly not racing to give him an answer. Your fingers trace over the beads, taking your time to admire the craftsmanship. Your obvious appreciation is certainly inflating his ego, but the longer you go without giving him a firm answer, the more agitated he gets. He hides it as best as he can, aiming to appear cool and unflappable. He is a warrior – he doesn’t want you to think of him as someone who is easily ruffled.

When you finally turn to look up at him, your eyes are shining. He can’t help but sit up a little straighter, watching you very carefully as he awaits your decision.

You proffer the necklace back to him, and Tsu’tey feels his stomach positively plummet. He truly hadn’t considered what he would do if you refused him.

“Will you help me put it on?” You ask, a little shyly.

The relief nearly bowls him over. Tsu’tey swears his stomach jolts so violently that he nearly makes a truly undignified sound. You are not refusing him – you wish for assistance. 

“Yes.” He says lowly and seriously, taking the necklace back. 

You beam again, then turn your back to him and bow your head to give him access to your neck. Tsu’tey’s heart thumps dully in his chest at the display of trust and vulnerability, though he keeps his face carefully still.

As he reaches out and slips the necklace around your neck, he gives in to his weakness and allows his fingers to drift over your shoulder. Your skin is so soft, your frame lacking the lean hard musculature that is so common among his own people, and he allows himself a moment to admire the feeling of you beneath his hands before finally beginning to tie the two ends of the necklace together.

He can feel you breathing carefully beneath his hands, the steady rise and fall of your chest matching the thumping rhythm of his own heart. The blood is rushing through his ears as his knuckles brush over one of the knobs of your spine at the base of your neck and you shiver in response.  

Success, his instincts are screaming at him. Success.

When he finally pulls his hands back, you turn to look at him through your eyelashes behind your breathing mask. The corner of his mouth twitches as he eyes the way the necklace sits above your collarbones; a perfect fit.

It probably goes without saying that you have accepted his advances, but the customs of the Sky People are odd and he wants to make certain.

“You accept, then?” He asks, reaching out and settling his fingers over the woven fibres of the necklace. You’re small under his hand – his fingers reach one of your shoulders and his palm reaches the other, dwarfing you. 

Your head tilts, a little frown creasing your brow, before you smile and nod. “Of course I accept it. It’s very lovely. I’m honoured. I didn’t know that you made your own jewelry.”

The last piece of mating jewelry he had crafted had been a bracelet for Sylwanin. It’s not something that he wants to think about right now, so he shrugs roughly.

“I do not, usually. This is different.”

“Oh.” You say, a little breathlessly.

Tsu’tey’s tail twitches recklessly. It’s time for the next step.

“I would take you to my hut.” He begins cautiously, watching your face. “It is finished now. I have made it comfortable.”

You blink, and take a careful breath. He wonders what you’re thinking. 

“I would like that.” You say quietly, your eyes drifting towards his tail, which is twitching as he awaits your answer.

Triumph soars in his chest, and a slow smile begins to spread over his face. This feels better than any hunt, any accolade, any success he has previously enjoyed. This one is his and his alone – you see him, you want to be his just as he wants to be yours.

You appear to get flustered, and look down at his twitching tail in an apparent effort to distract yourself. You watch the movement, your own lips beginning to curve, before you reach out to touch it.

Tsu’tey goes entirely still, his eyes flaring wider in surprise. He doesn’t pull away, watching intently as your fingers trail over the thin, sensitive skin of his tail. It is bold of you, so bold it nearly steals his breath away. 

“You’re like a cat.” You say, and laugh.

Tsu’tey has no idea what that means, and just continues to stare at you. You’re still holding his tail in your warm, soft hand. The fact that he isn’t pulling away seems to embolden you even more, before you start to bite your lip as you look up at him. 

Tsu’tey takes a soft, quiet breath – do you even know what you’re doing to him right now? Desire is beginning to pool, dark and hot, in his belly as your fingers stroke absently over the thin skin of his tail, your liquid eyes gazing up at him with that shy, enigmatic little smile playing over your face.

Slow and steady, he tells himself firmly, fighting to stay composed. He doesn’t want to scare you away by moving too quickly, but your soft warm hands and sweet little smiles are making it terribly difficult. He wants to touch you back, but he doesn’t want to startle you.

“Sorry,” You murmur, apparently growing self-conscious. You begin to pull back. “I didn’t mean to-”

“You may touch me.” He interrupts before you pull too far back. He has been intimate with women before, but this moment with you feels infinitely more intimate and illicit than anything he has experienced before. 

You watch him in return, eyes bright. Is he imagining the excitement on your face, mirroring his own feelings?

Slowly, you trace up his tail. His skin shivers under your touch, but he doesn’t pull away. In fact, he leans in a little closer as your fingers move from his tail to his chest, tracing over the lighter stripes on his skin. It feels as though your touch is leaving trails of heat in its wake, and he fights to keep his breathing steady and even as your eyes follow the path of your fingers.

His own fingers twitch, but he keeps his hands to himself. He wants to give this to you, to allow you the opportunity to be in charge of this moment. You’ve always been curious, and watching you exploring his own body only stokes his desire – but he holds back. He will be patient, and he will take this slow. He wants to do this whole thing right.

Your fingers trail down over the defined muscles of his abdomen, and he flexes entirely on instinct. You must like what you see, because your smile turns bashful as you trace your way around his waist.

He’s so preoccupied with watching your face that he doesn’t watch where your hands go next. It means that he is taken entirely by surprise when he feels your delicate, small fingers wrap around his kuru.

His back goes ramrod straight, his eyes flaring wide in shock. It was an innocent touch, only wrapping around the protective braid curiously, but the sheer fact that his prospective mate, wearing the mating gift he had made, holds the most intimate and sacred part of him in their hands has his toes curling into the dirt where you sit. 

A jolt of pure, liquid elation jolts down his spine. No partner of his has ever touched his kuru – it was saved specifically for a mate. And though you may not be capable of making tsaheylu with him, the sheer sensation of you holding this sacred part of him nearly makes his vision white out.

“Oh!” He hears your voice say as though from a distance. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep-!”

He’s sure his pupils are blown wide, his ears alert and hot. He wants to reassure you that your overstep is most welcome, but it feels as though his brain has half-melted.

“Tsu’tey?”

He comes back to himself, though his thoughts are still scattered. As he regains some of his awareness, he realises that his desire is beginning to grow obvious beneath his loincloth. 

Fuck. He was meant to be taking it slow! He couldn’t invite you to his hut and then grow so visibly aroused in front of you; it was not honourable, and he did not want you to feel pressured.

He lurches backwards, nearly sprawling in the dirt. It’s a graceless movement, ungainly and unlike him, but then again all of this is entirely outside of his realm of experience. 

You’re staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, your hand still raised in midair.

“I have to go.” He says sharply, pushing himself to his feet. It’s all he can think to do to preserve both of your dignities before he ruins his careful courtship plans with his own reckless desires.

“But-” You start, your face crumpling. “Am I still invited-”

“I must go,” He repeats, hastily angling himself so that you can’t see his front. 

He takes several firm steps away before hesitating, then turns back to look at you. “Tomorrow. You may come back tomorrow.”

You still look utterly bewildered, but Tsu’tey hurries away all the same. As he goes, he adjusts his tewng as surreptitiously as possible. 

Despite his tactical retreat, he feels more optimistic than he has in a long time. As he approaches the village he feels a feral triumphant grin begin to grow over his face. That likely could have gone smoother at the end, but overall he finds himself feeling impossibly pleased with himself. 

He has succeeded at his attempt at courting a human, and he has done so without Jakesully’s help. You have accepted all his gifts, you agreed to come and see his hut, and judging by the way you had groped at his tail and his kuru, physical attraction certainly wouldn’t be a problem for either of you.

 It has left him excited for tomorrow, and yearning for more of your soft little hands against his skin.

[cressidagrey]

The Ties that Bind - Chapter 7

Summary: 

Shadowsingers were made, not born. Made out of trauma and loneliness and desperation.

So when Cilla and Azriel meet and their shadows entwine, they both meet the only other person that could understand these particular childhood scars.

The last thing Azriel had ever expected from his mate, however, was for her to have a surprising connection to his brother.

Warnings: 

Azriel has some realisations, and Cilla has a meltdown

(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)

Azriel should have known that it was coming. He should have…he should have expected some kind of fallout. 

The fact that he didn’t make Azriel a fucking idiot. 

But it hadn’t even crossed his mind. He had been so…happy that it had gone…well enough, that Cassian hadn’t actually killed him, that Cilla was willing to go along with meeting Cassian, that Azriel hadn’t even thought about the price Cilla would need to pay for it. 

By the time he was ready for bed, she had already buried herself under the covers, curled into a little ball. She didn’t turn towards him as he laid down next to her…didn’t move when he shut off the faelights with a wave. 

Didn’t say anything. 

She always turned towards him. Even when she had been sick with a fever, his mate had turned towards him. But she hadn’t done so now. 

He watched the little ball under the covers, unmoving unless one counted her breath…shaking with something…

His brows furrowed. This wasn’t…This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. 

“Sweetheart?” he asked quietly, hand hovering over her form, unsure if she could stomach his touch at the moment. “Cilla, is something wrong?” he asked her carefully, wanting to gauge how she was feeling. 

“Wrong?” she repeated, her voice near tonelessly, wings trembling and then wrapping around her form like a cocoon…shadows coming to join them, swathing her in darkness. 

Azriel wondered absentmindedly how often he himself had laid like that, when sometimes everything around him just felt like too much, too much, too quickly. 

"Talk to me. What is going on in that Head of yours, sweetheart?” he asked her, hand settling on her shoulder, feeling her take another shuddery breath. 

She seemed to have some sort of mental fight with herself until she admitted what was really bothering her. 

He waited her out. He would always wait her out. 

“You didn’t talk to me,” Cilla finally whispered.  “You didn’t talk to me. You…You knew who my father was. And you didn’t tell me.” Her voice was broken, splintering around the edges. “Why.” It was as much a question as it was a demand and Azriel closed his eyes, mentally cursing himself out. 

“Because I needed to wrap my mind around it myself,” Azriel finally answered honestly. It was a weak reasoning, he knew that. But he had needed to… “Because I needed to know if he knew before I told you. Because if he knew what was happening to my mate for years and did nothing…then he wasn’t the male I knew. And he was nobody I wanted anywhere near you.”

He had needed to know if Cassian was somebody he needed to protect Cilla from or somebody that he could trust to act in her best interests. And it had been selfish as well. Putting Cilla in front of a fait accompli as he had…telling Cassian before he had told her…giving her no time to back out and refuse…that had been selfish. He recognised that. 

He had acted selfishly. And she had caught onto it, had felt hurt because of his actions.  

“Sweetheart,” he said with a sigh. “I thought it went well today?” he asked her and Cilla seemed to shudder.  

“I don’t know what he wants from me,” she whispered, the sound nearly heartbreaking. 

Of course, she didn’t. She never had anybody who wanted to spend time with her just because…didn’t know what friendship meant or what it felt like to be part of a family. It was all just…

The only steady companion she had ever known had been her shadows. Which at least had kept her from going completely feral but probably hadn’t helped with any of that. 

“You heard Cassian,” Azriel said quietly.  “He only wants to get to know you.” And probably take care of his daughter when he never had the opportunity for that before. Probably wanted to teach her how to wield a dagger to defend herself and get to know the girl he didn’t know. 

That’s what Cassian would want. But Cilla didn’t even seem to understand the concept of that. 

“And what do you want from me?” Cilla asked, her voice shaking. He could just stare at her back. 

What he wanted from her?

“I just want you to be happy, Sweetheart.” That was the truth. That was all Azriel wanted from her. If it involved him, that would make him happier than anything else…but if it didn’t…he still wanted Cilla to be happy. 

“What have I done wrong?” she asked him and he just…every question from her was like a stab with a knife straight into her heart.

“What?” he brought hoarsely. What did she mean?

“What have I done wrong?” Cilla repeated, still not turning towards him.  “You don’t touch me anymore.”

“Of course, I do,” he disagreed, the hand that laid over his shoulder gently squeezing, marking that particular statement. Of course, he touched her. 

“Not like that. Not since that first night,” Cilla said, her voice harsher than before. And then he realised what she meant, closing his eyes. “Was it that horrible?” she asked him, and he could nearly hear how Cilla held back her tears at that question. 

“What?  No,” he assured her immediately, blurting out the words. “Gods, Cilla. That’s not…” He didn’t have the right words for this, didn’t know how he should explain this to her, without hurting her even more…without… “Sweetheart,” he said helplessly. 

Cilla turned around, shaking off his hand, dark eyes mustering him in the dark room, the expression on her face shuttering. 

“Then what?” she demanded, sharper than she had ever talked to him before. “is it some kind of treat that I only get when I behave like you want me to?” she spat out and he swallowed. 

“Cilla,” he whispered, his voice breaking. 

“Do I need to earn your affection?” she asked him. “What do I need to do?” 

“No, Gods, no,” Azriel forced out, the words sticking in the back of his throat. 

He had managed to fuck that up spectacularly, hadn’t he? 

Yes, you have, his shadows agreed. 

“Then what do you want from me? What am I doing wrong?” Cilla demanded, her voice splintering. “What am I doing WRONG?!” The way her voice rose at the end, so loud in this quiet house, the way her chest heaved, the tears glinted in her eyes and then fell over her cheeks…

Somebody strangled him with his guilt. 

This would have never needed to happen. But he had been stupid. So fucking stupid. He should have known better. 

But he hadn’t. He had wanted to fix things for her and overcorrected so sharply, that she was the only one hurt and it had ended in a mess. 

“You have done nothing wrong, Sweetheart,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice gently, not to let her hear the chaos that he was currently feeling. He held out his hands for her but she stayed distant, just watching him…her eyes tearful, her lower lip wobbling. 

She was crying because of him. Having an ash bolt shot through his chest hurt less than this. 

Fix this, his shadows demanded sharply. We don’t like to see her crying. This is your fault. 

It was his fault. “Fuck, Sweetheart, I am so sorry,” he apologised fiercely. “I really fucked up. It’s not some kind of treat. I just…I didn’t…I was so wrapped up with finally meeting you, finally meeting my mate, that I didn't think about the consequences of my own actions, Cilla,” Azriel hurried to explain. “You are still so young…you have an excuse why you don’t think it through, but I don’t. I should have seen your shadows and I should have realised what they meant..and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you.” 

“Advantage,” she repeated like she wasn’t quite sure what the word even meant.  

“You didn’t really know what you agreed to the first time we had sex, sweetheart. You were…desperate and half ill and I should have treated you, my mate, better than that,” Azriel explained quietly. He should…They should have had an actual conversation, they should have gotten to know each other before he even laid a finger on her like that but instead, he had been…so overcome…so impulsive that he had just. 

 “I am not a child,” Cilla bit out sharply. “I have been on my own for 2 years, and I managed to survive. I can decide if I want to be with you or not!” 

“Of course, you can. Cilla,”  he agreed. She wasn’t a child. Even if she was painfully naive in some ways, she was very much not that in others. Treating her like a child when she had spent 2 years working herself to the bone to make sure that she could survive didn’t seem fair…not when she had also spent 18 years locked in that attic with only her shadows for company. 

“I…I thought that taking sex out of the equation until…until you had settled into the mating bond and…this life was the better choice,” he admitted with a grimace. Put it on ice until she was sure that she knew what she really agreed to. But clearly she…

“You thought,” Cilla repeated flatly, her voice icy. “YOU thought. Did you notice that it’s always YOU thought about something? It’s never something WE thought about. It’s not something that WE DECIDED! That we even TALKED about! YOU just decided and I…I am expected to go along with it because you are older and know BETTER?!” She lost her temper. 

Quite frankly…he deserved worse. 

Worse than Cilla ranting, and raising her voice at him, worse than her screaming, her hands turned into fists…worse than her dissolving into tears as she scrambled to the end of the mattress, the shadows coming to blanket her. 

Great job, Master, their voice dripped with contempt. You better fix it or we’ll take her somewhere else. 

He didn’t think for one moment that that threat was idle. 

They were serious about that. 

“Sweetheart,” he said gently, even as he could see her trembling. 

“You are alright. It’s alright,” he promised her softly. “I am sorry.”

She stared at him like she didn’t believe him…Like she expected him to get angry at her for shouting at him. 

He wasn’t. 

It had clearly all boiled all over for her. And even as he wished that she didn’t need to feel the need to shout to be heard…he understood it. 

He’d rather her shout and scream at him than to shut down and just accept if he mistreated her. 

“I am so sorry,” he apologised again. “Cilla, you are right. I should have talked to you. I should have given you more time. I should not have just put you in front of the choices that I made because I thought that it would be the easiest way. I should have told you that I knew who your father was when I figured it out. I should have given you more time to wrap your head around that idea and not expect you to be alright with meeting him the same day, the same evening,” he continued. “And I should have talked to you about my worries about sex as well and not just…not just pulled away from you intimately, making you think that you did something wrong or that I don’t want you.”

He should have done none of that. 

“I am so sorry, sweetheart.” 

She trembled, staring at him, like…wide-eyed, terrified and…like she couldn’t quite believe it. 

“You aren’t angry?” she asked him, her voice shaking. 

“At you? No,” Azriel answered honestly. “At myself, very much so, Sweetheart. I’ll spend the next few months begging for your forgiveness, Cilla,” he promised her.

The last thing he had expected was for her to pounce at him, once again, clearly unused to physical comfort and still searching it out…still clinging onto him desperately. 

“I am sorry. For screaming,” Cilla apologised, her voice shaking, breathing the words against his chest, as he pressed a kiss against her hair, and he wiped away her tears with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“That’s okay. You were upset at me. You were right to be upset at me. And I want you to be able to tell me anything. I won’t ever hurt you in response,” he promised her. “I am sorry, sweetheart,” Azriel apologised once again. 

She didn’t say anything, just burrowed tighter to him, breathing in his scent, her heartbeat calming down slightly. 

Better. She was doing better. 

He would have deserved it if she kept being angry at him…if she wanted nothing to do with him after that outburst, but instead she seemed to search him out for comfort, clinging on to him, as he brushed kisses over her head and rubbed her back…still feeling every single vertebra of her spine. 

Too thin. Still too thin. So easily breakable, even when he knew that she had gone through things that would have driven a weaker person insane…even when he knew how strong she really was…so strong and so easily breakable by him. 

He couldn’t fuck up like this again. 

Not again. 

He couldn’t stand to see her tears, see the trembling off his body because of him…smell the bitter scent of tears and fear that was not slowly returned to the sweetness of fire and vanilla. 

He needed…They needed to figure out something else…a way forward that Cilla could be comfortable with…that wouldn’t be Azriel pushing her into something that she didn’t really want and only went along with to make him happy. 

“Did you…did you really want to get to know Cassian or did you only go along with it, because you didn’t want to upset me?” he asked her carefully, trying to keep any sort of judgement out of her voice. he wasn’t quite sure how he should tell Cassian it if she changed her mind, but he would deal with it if Cilla really wasn’t…interested. 

“He’s important to you,” she sidestepped his question, her voice hesitant. 

It was an answer in itself, wasn’t it? Azriel closed his eyes, cursing himself out. 

“He is, but so are you,” he assured her quietly. “Cilla…what if we…what if we take it slower?” he proposed quietly. “You can just…get to know him. And then you can still decide if you want to have…some sort of relationship with him?” he suggested. 

“I…I want more time,” she said, her voice shaking. 

“Alright.” Azriel could work with that. “You’ll get that,” he promised her. “We’ll take it slow…maybe invite Cassian and Nesta to lunch and I will be your buffer, how about that?” he suggested. Stop Cassian from coming on too strong…giving Cilla the option to get away if she needed it. 

She shrugged, her body still trembling. It wasn't a no, but it also wasn't an outright yes. 

“And we’ll try a flying lesson tomorrow maybe,” he suggested, hoping that maybe that would…that would cheer her up in a way...Give her a feeling of freedom of control. 

“Really?” Cilla asked him, hesitantly. 

“Really,” he promised her. “But now, sleep, Sweetheart,” he said softly, pressing another kiss against her hair and she hummed her agreement. 

Crisis averted. For the moment. 

[ajxrn-archive]

Obviously I know (some) of your thoughts on Childe, but what do you think of the other harbingers?

YIPEE I love the harbingers ‼️ I’ll rant under the cut.. I had a huge obsession with the harbingers a few months back and I still do (in fact my brainrot is coming back so this is a perfect time for you to ask this)

Starting off with Pierro. I find him so interesting as a character because when I was diving into the lore of the harbingers I originally thought that he was number one?? Apparently he’s the director because capitano is no. 1.. I think that’s interesting. So what mainly intrigues me about him is the fact that he’s khaenri’ahn. The Tsaritsa has got to be different from the other Archons because of the fact she literally has a Khaenri’ahn man help run her military. I wonder what their relationship is with each other. Is it anything like dainslumi? I can picture it being that way but more cold, you know? The fact he’s based off the commedia dell’arte stock character Pierro (the fool/jester) is really interesting to me too.. they all have their connections to the characters in one way or another so I wonder what exactly his is.

Now onto Capitano. So far I think he is SO fucking cool he might be one of my favorite harbingers atp. Design wise it’s definitely a favorite but also the fact that he has so many similarities to Kaeya? If hyv were to make him related in some way to kaeya that would be so funny to me.. a lot of people do the pierro is kaeya’s dad thing but honesty I think Capitano would be a cooler connection lowkey? Also generally the ragbros situation would be 10x worse if kaeya was related to the fatui in some way, no matter which one it is. Anyways back on capitano, I’m mostly interested to see how his motives lay out and what his relationship with Mavuika is. The fight seen with him and her was so neat like the way they laid it out was so.. idk. I have a thing for fire/ice character relationships (not in a romantic way.) also what interests me even more about him is that The Captain in the commedia dell’arte is described as a ‘braggart’ type of person, so I’m wondering if he would use his ability to “convince people who knew nothing about him beforehand” to try and manipulate people in Natlan to revolt against Mavuika for the current issues and whatnot.

like I wonder how this'll play into his character in game/story wise. I hope he'll be playable sniff sniff.. Anyways, now onto this fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dottore is one of my favorite harbingers. I am an avid Dottore enjoyer. He’s cunning and genuinely awful and there’s no redeeming his ass he’s going straight to hell 🙏 and that’s what makes him such a GOOD character. He genuinely has zero redeeming qualities about him. He literally uses people and children for his experiments without second thought. He has clones of himself. He possibly killed his girlfriend in his school days. (If the zandik lore is right.) He was literally expelled from the Akademiya because of how awful he was.

I cannot fathom how amazing of a character he is. I think in games we need to have more characters who are just genuinely fucking evil and we don’t just “hate” them for it. I honestly dislike how people hate him JUST because he did bad shit, like have a better reason than that tbh? "He hurt collei/He's the reason crepus died/he gave scara so much trauma" I LOVE ALL THREE OF THOSE GUYS AND DOTTORE</3 Don't hate one character only to love the next. anyways dottore supremacy..

Anywho, onto Columbina. Honestly she intrigues me so much. She's so powerful that not even childe wants to fight her, what is up with that??? I think its also interesting how in the commedia dell'arte her title is technically Little Dove but it’s Damselette in the game. we like,, do not know much about her at all to be honest?? The harbingers voice lines about her interest me so much, especially arle's. It's very. vague??

Arlecchino: "She is a very special Harbinger. Pose her a question, and the answer you receive will be entirely unpredictable, if she sees fit to give a proper answer at all. Regardless, any answer you do receive is sure to be an interesting one."

Childe: "The Fatui Harbingers are ranked by strength, and I have no idea why that girl is No. 3. I'd test my skills with every Harbinger who ranks above me if I had the chance, but when it comes to her... something just doesn't feel right. Anyway, you should be careful around her."

Scara/Wanderer: "Let me ask: what should you do if you were to encounter a "damsel" who is oblivious and innocent at any given time, and unconcerned and unfeeling in any given situation? If it were me, I could at least challenge her to a fight. But if it were you... with your conscience, I would stay away from her."

Judging by voice lines alone, columbina is very, very powerful. she seems to beat around the bush with questions (arles voiceline) and is very mysterious even with the other harbingers. (childe saying something doesn't feel right) I've seen theories that she belongs to the seele race which is honestly pretty cool, but I think i'd need to see her in game or hear more about her first. I'd assume that Arlecchino has a rather close/interesting relationship with columbina. Not purely because of the fact they do in the commedia dell'arte, but because she was the only one out of the three to not tell the traveler to be careful around/stay away from columbina.

Arlecchino herself is a really well written character to me and I notice that a lot of the fandom don't understand her entirely (myself included.) Something i notice the most is how people tend to dumb her down to the Father of the house of the hearth, either portraying her as a wonderful parent (incorrect) or as an awful one (also incorrect.) She's definitely a highly flawed person who does put her children in danger, although she absolutely cares about the children of the hearth. I wouldn't say she's a child abuser/groomer/any other stupid shit the fandom says about her. Her wiki quite literally says that she's flawed but not as awful as Crucabena:

Her (possibly?) being khaenri'ahn is also so interesting because WHY does the tsaritsa keep having connections with khaenri'ah in her military of all things. I have so many questions.

We do not know much about pulcinella at all but I do find it SO intruiging/interesting (can someone give me another word for this HELP) that he's close to childe. he visits childes family for him, iirc, which is suspicious when you read the commedia dell'arte lore.

I do think he's doing this for self gain to be honest. He's a manipulative person, so he could be manipulating childe into relaxing around him to the point of letting pulcinella get near his family, which could end really badly to be honest.

Next up is scaramouche. I feel like the scara stans themselves don't even understand his character that much, because they're too busy yelling at people about raiden/dottore instead of focusing on his character itself. I think he's a LOT more than mommy issues short boy and actually his character is really deep. His name in the commedia dell'arte is also Little Skirmisher (instead of balladeer, though I'm not too sure what that means) and what's most interesting to me about his commedia dell'arte connection is how (IIRC, this could be wrong but i found this out last time i was talking about the harbingers and the commedia dell'arte) scaramouche's "mask" was later removed, which him being removed from irminsul could be a nod to that.

What's also a neat nod to the commedia is how scara "influences the audience to do his bidding." I think in game they referenced this by him influencing/controlling that one woman in sumeru (i forget her name) to be his first follower and do as he says.

Okay so truthfully i don't have many thoughts on sandrone but something that makes me curious about her backstory is the fact that in the commedia she is known as "Peasant.” what else is neat with this is that she looks like that one girl from Fontaine (Mary-Ann) I don’t really know/remember the the lore of her but hm.

What’s even weirder abt the similarities is that Marionette (her title) means Little Mary IIRC? I don’t think she IS Mary Ann since she’s dead but she could have connections to her. Anyway I don’t have many thoughts on her ngl.. </3 genshin give us sandrone lore PLEASEEEE

Next up is my fucking WIFE ‼️‼️ (la signora)

everyone who hates her sucks lowkey she’s such an overlooked character like her lore is so fucking?? sad?? Everyone reduces her to “haha ashes” and it annoys me tbh. Her boss fight was a pain in the fucking ass though ROSALYNE WHY.. it took me 20+ tries

I genuinely love her backstory it makes me so sad honestly. Through her grief and rage she became feared and hated. Idk I wish people would talk about her a little more?? Because she’s so interesting?? She has ties to ancient mondstadt isn’t that sick.

something that interests me the most about her character is how they made her somewhat different from La Signora in commedia dell’arte? She’s continually described as a woman who often cheats on her husband in the commedia, but when you read genshin Signora’s backstory it’s interesting to see how it’s mostly focused around how her loss of her lover threw her into a grief induced rage (basically, it’s centered around her grief and love)

as for her similarities, these two images explain it well:

Honestly I wish we had got to explore her character more than the information we have now. Genshin is so evil for killing her off tbh.

Pantalone I know like NOTHING about. I think he’s a really neat character. A lot of people dumb him down to “evil baizhu” but I do think he has a lot of potential to be a really good character

Basically he’s a capitalist ‼️ kidding but for him, he seems so far to be REALLY similar to Pantalone in the Commedia. I dont have too many thoughts on him either because we don’t know much about him yet </3 pantalone lore when….

and you already know most of my thoughts on Childe so I will save the rant for another day because that would get me fired up (I am losing words this rant sucked the life out of me HELP)

oh wait another thing that is neat about the harbingers entirely is how the trailer for them was called a Winter Night’s Lazzo (I think) but that’s another reference to the commedia dell’arte :)

[byfulcrums]

Honestly the “JLU Wally is YJ Wally” HC/AU has so much wasted potential. Not only angst but also. Imagine how fucking funny the whole situation could be. Imagine

Wally, against his wishes, goes to an undercover mission with the League. When something inevitably blows up, he gets (reasonably) angry and starts muttering about how “It's a curse, I swear. I am not feeling the aster right now. So not whelmed, man”. Shayera looks at him confused, because what the fuck does aster mean?

He gets banned from going to undercover/recon/non-fighting missions

When he figures something that he feels should have been obvious up he says “Hello, Megan!” and facepalms. He does it a lot, and refuses to explain when someone asks him why or what it means

He's the youngest in the team but he's also one of the most experienced

People usually think that the reason why he tends to not tell the league about what his next move is going to be in battle or why he's so uncoordinated when working in a team is because he's arrogant and refuses to listen. It's actually because he's so used to having the mind link to communicate that now he finds it hard to talk out loud with his teammates sometimes. He's working on it

He'll ask someone something and then get frustrated when they don't answer him, only to remember that he never actually said anything out loud

Not having people in his mind all the time feels kind of lonely. Maybe that's why he was so much happier than usual when J'onn was forced to make a temporary mind link for a mission

He gets frustrated because he wants to watch a show he likes but then remembers that the show doesn't exist because it was created in like 2008. It's a pain

He talks to Shayera about his other red-headed sister, ‘Megan’, and gets uncharacteristically sad and quiet when she asks if she could meet her someday

The original JL members started to pick up on some of the stuff he says, so the phrases “Hello, Megan!”, “Get whelmed” or even the word ‘crash’ are commonly heard in the Watchtower

His relationship with Superman is complicated because he's used to holding some resentment for not being patient with Conner when he first met him so sometimes he's too salty with him, but then he remembers that that was another Superman and it gets awkward pretty quickly

If his relationship with Superman is complicated, then imagine how it is with Batman and Zatanna. One is his best friend's dad from another universe and the other is his friend he's known since he was 14 from another universe who is now older than him

And imagine how it'd be with Red Tornado. He's so used to having the guy as some kind of mentor that being his superior feels off. He tried to connect with him but it was just too awkward for him to handle

He. Misses. Barry. And. Iris.

He finds out that the Jason of this universe came back to life and wonders if his Jason came back too. Too bad he's never going to find out

Let him break down a little. Let him live with the knowledge that he's all alone now (pre-JL). Let him be depressed over the fact that his aunt doesn't even know him because both him and Barry are dead in this universe

He thinks about how he was going to propose to Artemis and doesn't show up to league meetings and missions for three weeks

“Why weren't you here?” “I had some stuff to do haha sorry” (he was laying in bed crying)

Certain things, like eating ice cream or going out to see movies, just aren't as appealing as they used to be. Everytime he sees teenagers hanging out, laughing with each other, he can't help but think about how that could (should) be him

He had to quit the team (more like was forced to quit) because his powers were killing him. Now he's back on the field and isn't dying anymore, but he can't help but think that maybe if he was then he wouldn't have cared much

Wally meets the Nightwing of this universe and immediately starts crying

Think about this: Dick doesn't know him, who know what's up with Roy, Artemis is a criminal, Kaldur probably doesn't even exist, Conner also doesn't exist (yet), Zatanna's way older than him and M'gann is dead. Just. Take a moment to think about it

He has to live with the knowledge that he's probably never going to see his friends, his family again. He has to live with the knowledge that he has no one to go to when he has speedster problems. He has to live with the knowledge that he'll never go home

Clark brings his Ma's pie to the Watchtower once and Wally gets so emotional because it smells sm like the pies he used to (try to) make with Iris and Barry (it was apple pie. They always failed so they bought one from a bakery, and Ma's smells sm like those he can't help but remember the good old days lmao. He cries)

I said this once and I'll say it again: he was going to propose to Artemis

He died knowing that he would never be able to make amends with his soulmate best friend

He has to go on a mission where he sees this universe's Artemis (a criminal) and no matter how much he tries to help her and turn her into at least a civilian, he still wasn't able to make her be even close to his Artemis

He has one of those scenes where the hero (Wally ofc) says “You could come with me. I'd help you. You could get away from the people that hurt you and, if you want to, I'd live you alone once you're safe. I can promise that”, and the villain (Arty) is like “Omg really...??” and acts all hopeful and shit but ends up being “Sike no, I'm never going with u wtf”

He finds out Hal exists in this universe too but is in another planet and looses his shit lmaoo

But like srs. The potential this shit has is amazing and ppl should acknowledge it more

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: To the Ends of the World (3x10)

Wow, okay, interesting!

Cons:

Do we think this is the most the show has ever deviated from the stream? I don't mean in the sense of anything particularly major happening that is just straight-up new for the show, but in the sense that this episode isn't... based on a cohesive set of incidents that played out on stream, it's really a lot that's totally new! I am putting this under "Cons" not because I think it's bad in and of itself, but I did want to mention that this season is making me realize, for better or for worse, that a fair percentage of my enjoyment of this show is the adaptation aspect, seeing how they chose to move things around and still hit all the important moments. Up until this season, even with all they did change, I never felt like a core morevment I really enjoyed from the stream got dropped entirely, even if it did move around. This episode makes me pretty trepidatious that the Ripley kill is going to the twins alone, and that will mark the first time a major moment I was looking forward to from the stream simply won't be in the show at all. But we shall see!

This episode did feel structurally a little weaker to me for another reason - it feels like the momentum coming off of the Thordak kill is just sort of ground to a halt as the group separates off into their little mini quests. Now instead of the group racing to find Raishan and figure out next moves, it seems that Keyleth is the only one who even cares about doing that? I get that Ripley needs to be dealt with and that they need to find a way to wake up Scanlan, but it felt like the urgency just fell out from under me as a viewer when Raishan vanished and the gang didn't immediately set to chasing her.

I understand Keyleth's anger and I don't blame her for it, but her plot thread in this episode was honestly pretty dissatisfying to me. There was a mismatch with the stakes and what we were seeing her go through. This trial to learn the Earth Ashari ritual wasn't really... grounded in a strengthening moment for who she is as a person, if that makes sense? I kind of wish the stakes had been "find a way to defeat Raishan" instead of just "find out where Raishan is." Scrying is some pretty basic D&D shit, and turning it into part of Keyleth's big growth arc felt a little... I don't know, uninspired, I guess? Seeing her struggle to connect with this new form of magic didn't really hit as hard for me as it did with the Fire Ashari, and I think a big part of that is that the whole gang wasn't there with her.

There's this overall tension in my brain, here, where I understand that part of the gift of adaptation is that the whole gang doesn't have to be together for the whole story - unlike a D&D campaign, where splitting the party rarely happens and for good reason. It didn't really bother me in season two when Grog, Scanlan, and Pike started off the Westrunn arc while Percy, Keyleth, and the twins were in the fey realm. But here it's hitting a little differently for me, and I think it's because of that lack of motivation/momentum thing I was talking about before. Vex and Vax sneaking off to deal with Ripley without even checking in with Grog and Pike... nobody worrying about where Keyleth has gone or even mentioning going to find her... I'm fine with a story about how the group is fractured right now and going through a tough moment, but it felt like they all just kind of shrugged their shoulders and wandered off, which felt slightly off as a vibe.

Pros:

That's more negative than I usually get with this show, but I think part of what I'm noticing is that this is an episode with a lot of setup and not a lot of payoff, and that's just part of creating a serialized viewing experience! So I can't knock it too hard for being a bit of a transitional episode.

While I might be a little iffy about Keyleth's story, I did like the way she verbalized her quest towards leadership here. She's wondering how she's ever going to lead her people if she couldn't even get Vox Machina in line. And then later when the council rejects her proposal, she comes back and stands firm, expressing that being a leader isn't about just following in other people's footsteps. Her mother's journey is not her own. I loved her standing up for herself and getting through to them in that moment!

Then we've got the Scanlan plot, where Grog and Pike are distressed to find that he's not waking up, but then Pike has a thought: maybe Kaylie is the way to get him back to the land of the living! Comedy points for Allura's very brief appearance in this episode as Pike's ride to go find her, that really made me chuckle. Much like with Keyleth's story, this is mostly setup: Pike goes and finds Kaylie and is going to bring her back to talk to Scanlan. We'll have to see how that plays out in episode eleven!

And then the twins - despite my fear about how the Ripley fight is going to go down, I really did love seeing them two of them as a dynamic duo again. This has been a very romance-focused arc of the show, which I love, but I did feel like some of the other relationships were lacking. The two of them work really well together, but Vex's grief for Percy is getting slightly in their way, as she's rushing ahead without Vax's help, nearly getting herself killed. I like them slipping into familiar rhythms but with added context that makes some things harder for them. Vax is pretty hot as a super sneaky rogue character. I feel like most of the time on this show we get to see him zip around and be sneaky, but he doesn't get to be like... cool and suave and in disguise. So I liked that aspect too!

I'm excited to watch episode eleven because I think it'll play out what we've started to see set up in this episode - will Keyleth find Raishan? Will Scanlan wake up? Will the twins win out over Ripley? And I think knowing the other half of these plot beats will help to solidify how I feel about this episode. In isolation, it's a bit of a dip in terms of my personal enjoyment, but that doesn't mean I'm not still thoroughly enjoying the season!

7.5/10

[kayla-marie-writes]

We are HALFWAY through My Demon! Time for Episode 8! (Again, I'm not sure if Song Kang's career is taking off like crazy, or if it's me being new to his work, but I've added a few more of his dramas to my watchlist).

Also. The thing is dramas where blatant crimes happen in public and it's never noticed is INSANE! YES, GET HIM! THE MASK CAME OFF! WHY ARE THEY TAKING PHOTOS, WHAT THE HELL?!

I know Seok-hoon is upset, but he wouldn't wish death on Jeong...oh. The tattoo isn't working?! Oh SHIT. What's going on with that? Oh-tears? Second male lead pain. My heart.💔 Okay, seriously WHO IS THAT LADY?!

Sigh. Still. I do not care for Star Jin. I don't. If you cared about him so much, you wouldn't be acting like a brat. I've never understood that fandom/crush trope. They can only be happy if they're yours? I understand that him falling for someone else hurts. I've had it happen. My issue is the whiny behavior. I can't relate to it.

Oh. Spontaneous combustion must be slow and awful. He is a baby when he's hurt. Why is it cute?! Awww, he keeps asking for Do-hee!😭😭😭😭🥹. Honestly, I'd use the Wild Dogs to track tbe killer down. They're funny and loyal. I think they'd be useful, too. Why. Are. They. Adorable?!

The leap out of bed was so-what's with the cutesness in this episode? I hope we get more of the office in the series. Or maybe I need a good workplace comedy to watch.

Oh, people are connecting the dots. I KNEW THEY WERE WORKING TOGETHER!! OMG!! They just wanna cuddle, but you know...he's gotta charge.😉 Awwww, OMG, I CANNOT!! 🥹😍 Cuddly demon...

I LOVE Do-hee's assistant, and I think she lowkey ships them. What's that?? I think the butler is handsome, honestly. He is sunshine. And funny. Jeong is so (again) cute when it comes to sweets.

Right, so the truth about Madam Ju and Do-hee's parents hasn't been revealed yet. We still don't know who killed her, as that's the one death we haven't seen signs of Creepy Bastard being involved...WHY IS HE KEEPING HIS PAIN FROM HER?!

Do-hee, I'm pretty sure he knows about demons and we KNOW HE KNOWS the killer. I was just about to comment that it was nice to not see her family this episode...the bitch got what she wanted, and she's STILL annoying.😒

Okay, WAIT WHAT?! Why is she telling him this?!💔💔💔 I am so sick of them. *eye roll*...okay, so I missed when Needy Jin said something to Doo-hee.🙄 He's not in love with you, you aren't doing this for his sake. You know Do-hee has the tattoo.

Oh. Both male leads face off. Seok-hoon has been going through it. AAAHHHH!!!!!!! CONFESSION??! Maybe? Kinda?! (Not the dramatic sprinkler🤣😭😍). Ok, so now, I wonder if the powers will work better, or become stronger now? OOH THE PREVIEWS FOR THE NEXT EPISODE! I can't wait until tomorrow!

[lycorogue]

One Piece NoPixel

Ever since the 4.0 launch of NoPixel (a private GTA Online roleplay server), my husband and I have become OBSESSED with the Yuno Sykk storyline going on.

Considering Sykkuno has been streaming NoPixel for roughly 8hrs every day, there's no way I can fully keep up, so my insomniac husband tends to give me recaps the following day. As he's telling me the story and is trying to get me to understand the relationship ties between characters I had an epiphany: Yuno is just Luffy from One Piece.

People already joke that Sykkuno has "plot armor" and is the "main character", so his GTA character Yuno being Luffy already kind of fits. Plus, both Yuno and Luffy are ADHD/Autistic balls of chaos that are also unintentionally beams of charisma that attracts just about everyone to their side. It doesn't matter how insane the plan is, if Luffy/Yuno says it people will follow through. You also have the fun of wondering if Luffy/Yuno is just insane with godly amounts of luck that allows their plan to work out, or if they are secretly geniuses that had already calculated everything in the background and the plan worked because of that discrete planning (or if it's a happy combo of the two). Luffy and Yuno are both almost impossibly optimistic and goofy, and people INSTANTLY know to take these boys seriously the second they become serious. If Luffy/Yuno stop smiling, you KNOW shit is about to go down! Also, Luffy/Yuno is INSANELY loyal and protective of his found family. On multiple occasions, Yuno has been informed that if he were to betray the speaker that would kill their last bit of faith in humanity, because if they know ANYTHING it's that Yuno doesn't lie and doesn't betray. Much like Luffy.

OK, so Yuno Sykk is Monkey D. Luffy (If Yuno's name wasn't just Sykkuno's I wouldn't be surprised if he had included the D. initial).

I then thought about those around Yuno. While the personalities don't work one-to-one, my husband and I were able to map a lot of Yuno's friends onto Luffy's simply based on relationship ties.

First is obvious. Yuno, through the 3.0 adoption chaos, ended up the adopted grandson of cop (and eventual Police Commissioner) Sam Baas. So, Baas is Garp. The fish-name connection is just a bonus.

Next up is the inspiration to both start an illegal lifestyle and to become the best possible at it. A pseudo-father-figure and mentor. The man whose blessings and pride in Luffy/Yuno is just about everything to the boy: Lang Buddha as Yuno's Shanks.

Luffy/Yuno couldn't get as far as he does without his true ride-or-die. The man who is loyal to a fault. Who will gladly give his life to not only save his best friend and brother, but also to simply lift him higher, if that's what's requested of him. A man who will smile as he participates in mass murder, and whose homicidal tendencies are surprisingly calmed when around Luffy/Yuno: Raymond Romanov as Yuno's Roronoa Zoro

The personalities don't really match, and YMMV when it comes to this ship, but 4.0 brought about Yuno's "relationship arc". This introduced us to a woman that Yuno loves spending time with, is very protective of, and joys in making her smile. She is there to comfort Yuno, but understands that he needs to do things his way and on his own sometimes. Yuno keeps saying that they're only best friends, and that may be true. He may honestly have no romantic interest in her, despite her obvious romantic interest in him. Even so, she's His Person and he wants to be with her and protect her as much as possible. If there's one person that Luffy/Yuno cares about that you DO NOT mess with, it's her. Ladies and gents, meet Yuno's Nami: Lottie Mae

On the flipside, we have a woman who started off as an enemy, but was instantly charmed by the lengths Yuno would go to in order to help someone that had threatened him. Someone who has family who viciously protects her. Someone who is completely smitten despite Yuno not really giving as many "I want to be in a romantic relationship" vibes as he does with Lottie. Someone who clearly has a jealous streak to her. The main person people seem to ship with Luffy/Yuno behind Nami/Lottie. Our own Tsundere Queen: Gigi Costello as Yuno's Boa Hancock

Next up is a man who is a more serious leader who doesn't approve of Luffy/Yuno's shenanigans, but he also can't deny the results, so he begrudgingly gives Luffy/Yuno free rein. He still tries to talk some sense into Luffy/Yuno and his friends, and they do listen to him on occasion, but those moments are few and far between. He also can't ignore Luffy/Yuno's charisma, and, in spite of himself, he's equally drawn in to the King of Chaos. Congratulations, Tommy T. You are Yuno's Trafalgar Law.

We then have someone who is older. Someone who is a bit of a mentor, but also would gladly follow Luffy/Yuno. Someone who was once a leader himself, but has since disbanded his own crew (or, at least, left them). Someone who is incredibly protective of Luffy/Yuno, but also understands that the kid can hold his own (for the most part). Someone who can't fathom Luffy/Yuno ever betraying anyone. Someone who is a master a steering??? This one is a little bit of a stretch, but my husband believes that Tony Corleone is Yuno's Jimbe.

Finally, we have someone who is a pseudo-ally to Luffy/Yuno, almost begrudgingly. Someone whose goals differ from Luffy/Yuno's and those differing goals caused tension for a bit before the two decided to break off from each other. Someone who has a sort of 1920s gangsta vibe with his underground gambling and mob-like connections. A man whose main goal deep down is to find a family of his own. Marty Banks as Yuno's Capone Bege

My husband also thinks that Benji Ramos would be Yuno's Sanji, mostly due to the incessant flirting with little-to-no success. Also, Mickey Sinclaire as Usopp due to Mickey being a cowardly schemer and master liar. I'm still on the fence for both of those. This list was largely mapping parallels on how these characters relate to Luffy vs how they relate to Yuno. The Benji and Mickey parallels are more about their personalities pairing with One Piece characters.

I think that will have to be a different list, though.

So, NoPixel/One Piece fans, what do you think? Does this work? Would you have picked other character parallels? Are there others we didn't think of?

[shadowmonkstone]

Fuck. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

It’s all kicked off. Or, it’s about to. If this is my last one, tell Prim that Jayce is a massive bellend, she’s better off without him and she was right. I should never have taken that gig.

So why am I saying all that? Well, because the four of us are about to go an take on an entire bloody goblin camp.

It all started when we found our way to this Drow commander, Minthara. I swear she’s got the same lust for lopping off heads as Lae’zel but with this extra cruel streak that sends a fucking chill down my spine. While she was talking about glory to the Absolute and finding a weapon our minds connected, tadpole to tadpole. This Drow has one of the Absolute’s three top brass whispering directly in her ear so no matter how things pan out from here, we’re fucked.

But you know how I said the artefact Shadowheart had was protecting us? Mate, this time I could feel it was afraid. In a way that says ‘keep me the bloody fuck away from the Absolute’s hands’.

The Drow asked me to join her, to obey. I played the game and said I’d think about it before buggering off. The four of us needed to find somewhere to work out our next move.

Problem was, after we’d walked over a death pit full of spiders (because of course there’s a death pit full of fucking spiders) we stumbled straight into a big fuck-off hobgoblin trying to cast a speak to the dead spell on a Mindflayer corpse.

And he fucking pulled it off!

Which then threw another spanner in our plans because the stupid fucking squid recognised my stupid fucking face!

Thankfully, the hobgoblin had used up all his brainpower on casting the spell so I was able to convince him I was a True Soul and the dead squid was a lying toerag.

After that he was a bit more friendly and sent us to speak to Minthara. We took that as a good opportunity to fuck off somewhere else to work out what we had to do next.

“Where was that somewhere else?” I hear you ask. Well, it was the prison, where the goblin bastards were keeping a bear. A bear we freed and a bear that just happened to be the fucking Druid chief!

I swear this all happened and I’m not making it up.

Anyway Halsin, Druid chief who is built like a fucking oak trunk by the way, when he wasn’t talking about how wonderful it is to hug trees told us that he doesn’t know a cure. What he did know is that we have to go to a place called Moonrise Towers to find the answers, because people go in and tadpoled worshippers come out. He thinks there’s magic at work here and those towers have the answer.

Lae’zel was so fucking smug about all this. She took great delight in telling us (and Halsin) that her crèche would cure us all and Githyanki were the best blah blah blah… honestly, Kay looked like she was about to tear Lae’zel in two and I probably wouldn’t have stopped her.

Anyway, Halsin can help us but only if we help him. And we help him by killing the priestess, the Drow and the Hobgoblin. Which means the four of us taking on the whole Goblin camp together.

Lae’zel and Kay are well fucking up for this.

Wyll has his reservations.

And me? Fuck it, I’m in.

Let’s go!

[romana-after-dark]

This is Lorenzo once he's recovered waiting for me Zack

lil blurb for The Wrong Way below the cut, spoilers for The Wrong Way chapter 10 and WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF ALL HORRIBLE THINGS

**************

"You should be in bed" Zach said to Lorenzo as he came back in their room.

"I am in bed, see?" patting the bed, Lorenzo wiggles his eyebrows at his... boyfriend, yeah, he could safely say they were boyfriends now, right? They lived together in Jackson, Zach was nursing him back to health, that boyfriend stuff, right? Lorenzo didn't know how it worked between men, honestly. Sure, he was married before, but a brief marriage to the first girl he dated in high school who initiated the worlds most peaceful divorce because she figured out what he was before he did didn't make for the most experienced of dating life. Lorenzo only had a few years as a single adult before the outbreak, and none of those years were spent admitting he was gay. He always wondered if he ex-wife lived, but the chances were low.

"I meant laying down, jackass." But there was a soft smile on his face. Zach had been taking his sisters death surprisingly well. Maybe it was the fact he knew her life of suffering was over, because it had been her entire life. Their dads abuse, their dad pimping her out to men for blowjobs and allowing them to beat her for extra, their dad selling her virginity to Joel the litany of horrors Joel put her through, it was over. Lorenzo thought Tommy should've been the one to do it, he thought Tommy shouldn't have let Joel have her life too... but Tommy was weak, and Lorenzo was starting to feel like all scenarios ended with Joel killing her, and this, funny enough, seemed to be the least painful.

Zach took the tea out of his hands and helped Lorenzo lay down. The pistol whip had mostly healed, leaving a nasty scar on his face, but the bullet wound was taking some time. Luckily, the people of Jackson had given them a home right next to Tommy and Ellie, as long as Zach put his share of labor in and Lorenzo promised to once recovered. Lorenzo never saw himself as a settle down type, he liked to stay on the move. Even him and his ex-wife moved around a lot in their short marriage... the people here were nice, sure, it was safe here and well ran, fair. Lorenzo found himself looking forward to a nice life with Zach.... but Lorenzo knew the real reason they were staying in town.

Zach had tried to take Ellie, citing that it was his niece. Tommy reminded Zach that it was his niece too, to which Zach had no problem reminding Tommy of the circumstances of Ellie's conception and birth, and that his connection to Joel was not helping his case... but it was clear Tommy was not letting the girl go, and Lorenzo had never seen Tommy so... strong willed. He finally grew a pair of balls. So the deal was made Tommy would raise Ellie, and Zach and Lorenzo would help. Lorenzo loved Ellie's mom, he really did, and he loved that little baby just like he did his sisters kids. None of them made it past the first few years of the outbreak, but now he had Ellie to protect and care for. Zach and Tommy's relationship was strained, Zach had a lot of understandable anger towards Tommy... but they were making it work for the baby. Lorenzo hadn't seen her yet, unable to leave the bed for much for than the toilet, and Tommy unwilling to take her outside in the cold just yet. He was protective, wanting to keep Ellie safe the way he couldn't her mom.

Zach laid with him in the bed, holding his hand as they drifted off to a nap, only waking up to a loud knock on the door. Zach groaned 'I'll get it' as if Lorenzo had much of a choice, and went downstairs. When he returned, Tommy was behind him with a little wrapped up bundle in his arms.

"Lorenzo?" Tommy spoke with his soft, deep voice. "Wanna meet your niece?"

Lorenzo's face lite up, still laying on the bed. He turned to Zach. "Hey nurse Ratchett, you gonna let me sit up?"

Zach gently bonked Lorenzo's head, but helped him sit up before Tommy guided the tiny little baby into his arms.

"Wow... she's so small..."

"She was 5.9 pounds and 17.6 inches when I got her here." Tommy explained. "A month premature she doesn't appear to have any health problems, just small."

Zach grumbled "There might be a few other factors that contributed to her being so small." He alluded to the traumatic months of the pregnancy. "We're lucky she even made it."

Tommy let that slide. "Face seems to have healed up, Lorenzo. Nice to see you're doing better."

Lorenzo didn't doubt he was genuine. Tommy was a good person, if weak. "Gonna have to make a cool story about how I got this scar, one that doesn't make me look pathetic."

Jumping in, Zach wouldn't let him talk about himself like that. "You're not pathetic, Renzo. You almost died trying to save her. But, we are gonna have to agree on a story."

"A story?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, she can't know the reality of her parents. I want her to think... to think they loved each other, that it was happy... and she needs to think Joel is dead. We can't have her trying to find her dad."

"I don't wanna lie to her" Lorenzo countered, but Tommy was already on board.

"We'll just... stretch the truth a bit."

As Lorenzo held Ellie, Tommy and Zach concocted a story, how her parents met and fell in love, why they died... all lies that Lorenzo didn't think was fair to Ellie. But Tommy and Zach essentially lost their sister and brother in this, Ellie was their blood... it was there choice.

But Lorenzo made a promise that day that day that he wouldn't lie to Ellie. He wouldn't tell her the truth, but he wouldn't lie. He'd tell her stories of her mom, all the fun they had together... but he would lie. He wouldn't say her dad was a good man, he wouldn't say they were in love.

Ellie deserved the truth.

But for now, as Lorenzo recovered, he enjoyed his time with Zach, getting to sleep in the same bed, kiss, hold hands, cuddle... he was happy, he was in love, and he was gonna make the best possible life for his niece and his boyfriend, despite the odds.

***************

Not tagging anyone bc the series is technically over.

Im still working on the alt ending and the first chapter of ellies story but i spent so much time speed writing this series that i negelected other series on my main so im trying to work on the series and one shots i wanted to write, primarily the Benny Miller x frankie morales fic for pride.

[extrahorribledynne]

mmkay, so, digesting the latest episode batch of earthspark. a question i had within the first 10 episodes was ‘HOW antagonistic will GHOST be’ and the answer turned out to be: VERY!

lots of thoughts and theories floating around, i’m gonna add to the pile. putting on my wild mass guessing hat. this is gonna be disorganized.

i feel pretty confident in saying optimus is definitely aware of, on some level, what GHOST is doing. mandroid calls grimlock ‘your’ dinosaur problem when croft confronts him. bee says grimlock was on a mission and they lost contact with him for months. i’m inclined to think he was smuggling energon and/or decepticons out of bot brawl, providing them an out, until he was discovered or perhaps got a little too close to the truth. after all, GHOST turns out to have been aware bumblebee was likely not dead at all. who’s to say they’re not keeping tabs on mechs like wheeljack, arcee, and the other ‘bots we saw who were on earth during the g1 flashback? optimus is clearly trying to keep cards in his deck and appease GHOST to the best of his ability. i’m definitely concerned for his safety ngl. my guess is he’s likely the target for mandroid’s next mind control project honestly.

related, i believe while megatron is definitely aware of the stockades, i think either he doesn’t LIKE going down there, or GHOST won’t let him specifically be there without supervision. after all, even though starscream dislikes him, i’ve got no doubt in my mind he’d happily air the dirty laundry of GHOST’s activities involving the incarcerated cons as soon as he laid optics on megatron.

another thing i think earthspark has been demonstrating through repetition is the idea that the cybertronians are pretty difficult to actually kill. being drained of energon seems to merely put them in torpor until they’re refueled. brawl shows a few signs of life when bee is examining him. hardtop gets a limb removed while awake and is no worse for wear. starscream has clearly survived a major explosion at point blank range and is completely fine. i have no doubt in my mind that GHOST is likely trying to engineer a weapon that can pierce sentio metallica. honestly thought thats what croft’s gun during bee and breakdown’s escape was going to be; and maybe i’m not too far off as breakdown was actually taking some pretty significant damage from it. we’ll definitely see a cybertronian die by GHOST’s hands. i just feel that in my jellies.

one last disjointed thought, it was very interesting that mo found the emberstone’s power in episode 18 ‘scary’. robbie agrees. since the emberstone and quintus prime has connections to quintessons by association, i’ve got to wonder if it’s related.

[alaffy]

Riverdale 7x3 - Sex Education (Spoilers)

Well, unlike the last episode, this one was not enjoyable...unless the goal was some sort of meta shit to show how awkward sex is between teenagers by having the episode seem to be written by someone with no basic knowledge of sex.  And honestly?  If I was forced to watch this or they key party episode again, it's key party no question. 

 So everybody's on a sex kick and it's just cringe.  Betty has urges and Kevin doesn't (not towards her).  Clay comes out to Kevin. Veronica is still after Archie.  Julien is still after Veronica (and I have a feeling that his part might have been created because Reggie isn't here.  His lines towards Veronica really sound like Reggie).  Julien convinces Archie to date Cheryl to get him out of the way and because Penelope asked him to (Penelope is starting to realize Cheryl's urges).  Toni is playing the long game when it comes to Cheryl.  Jughead is comic Jughead, who ends up at the party in order to make the system think he's less strange.  Oh, and Archie and Cheryl may have ended up having sex (I question if they really went that far).

But let's talk about a few of the interesting parts.  Ethel says her parents were killed by someone dressed as a milkman; which happens to be similar to a story that was written in the comics that she and Jughead read.  Also, Ethel (who is staying at the Coopers) asks Jughead to break into her home and steal some drawings that she made.  Like the one of a girl that looks like her feeding two bodies that look like her parents into a meat grinder (are we sure she didn't kill them?).  Jughead gets the drawing, but someone sees him and tells Keller.  Keller questions Jughead as he's strange, like Ethel (this is why Jughead ends up at the party).  I am curious about how the comics are going to connect and really hope they focus on this soon.  

There are a couple of things that happen at the party that are interesting.  The first thing happens when they're playing a kissing game.  Jughead has to kiss Betty and it seems to be implied that they don't really know each other well outside of school.  And there's a joke made that "this will go well."  But when they kiss,  there's a music que and Jughead has a visible reaction.  Perhaps this jarred something in the subconscious?

But then a few moments later, when everyone pairs off, Veronica calls Jughead Holden Caulfield; which again he reacts too.  Mostly, he wonders why she called him that but...it is interesting to see the callbacks and the reaction.  Also, this is a good scene between Jughead and Veronica and it's too bad we didn't see more like this throughout the series.

Anyway, at the end of the episode, Ethel and Jughead are called into the principal's office.  Keller is there.  He tells Jughead that he searched Jughead's place and found the drawings.  And that's were the episode ends.I'm hoping next week for more mystery and less teen drama but...oh, look Archie and Cheryl are engaged.  Sigh.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Chains of Heart ep 4

Oh I remember this feeling - getting so fixated on something I end up staying up till 2 in the morning then dreaming about it all night and waking up early singing the theme music eager to continue fixating even though I am so so tired. Right, only way to get over this is to just get these next 5 eps done!

A reminder: I think Din is green, Ken is blue, and Din in his new form as Lue is red. These colours are also used to add dramatic or emotional effect...but on to the ep.

This ep once again starts off where we left ep 3 - with Ken being strangled by Fin/Gun in the woods and Lue rescuing him. Note the GREEN CORD WITH RED FLECKS which was used to choke Ken. His love and connection to Din is literally killing him...but so is his new connection with Lue.

I hadn't noticed in the flashbacks in previous eps but Ken and Din's trousers were also in each other's colour on the day they almost died. And I love the blues and greens around Ken as he waits for Din to come back.

I've noticed that the use of red has diminished as the eps have progressed... It was used A LOT in the lighting in ep 1, a bit less in ep 2, and less again in ep 3. I wonder if that has something to do with the location - that red is used more in Taiwan rather than in Thailand and maybe why this colour is associated with Lue, because of his supposed Taiwanese roots (but also the revenge thing). Anyway, it was interesting to see the red turn up on the not-a-date date, during which Ken resolutely wears his and Din's colours but Lue imposes the red under and on top of Ken.

It's also interesting that Lue often wears a neutral colour palette of creams and beiges (apart from the burgundy in ep 2 and the black and blue in ep 3). Maybe this is a link to the old Din and his earthy tones, or maybe Lue is trying to present a clean/blank slate for Ken to eventually imbue with colour once they (as Lue hopes) fall in love.

Anyway, these frames below are just brilliant. Of all the colours in that shop, both Ken and Lue are captured through the pompoms in their colours.

And then on to the not-a-date dinner, where Ken tactfully turns down Lue's advances despite all the blue and red pairings flanking them (the banners and the lanterns - which have swapped sides). Lue is being so obvious this ep with the hints that's he's Din, not least the talk of Ken's lover's favourite food. But it's poignant to see the purple flowers when they're talking about Ken's love for Din (remember the purple lighting during the first time they slept together). And I wonder if the drinks are supposed to be red and white wine but I love that they look purple and green - Ken's still in love with Din and Lue is indicating that he is Din.

We're going to see more of the below outfits in the next ep but I love that Hin is in Ken and Din's colours (perhaps ignorant to the fact that Din is alive) whilst Payu's shirt has red and blue stripes (indicating that he knows Lue is in fact Din?). I also love the one red drink between them all...and I've noticed that Boon wears a lot of earthy and green tones too - so indicative of his efforts to bring justice for Din?

I can't do these wardrobe posts without mentioning The Gloves (and honestly I went feral when Lue wore the burgundy ones in a later ep...but I'm getting ahead of myself)... I just wanted to re-iterate what most people have already said and that is JUST HOW RIDICULOUS THESE GLOVES ARE. When Lue's wearing a jacket, or when he's dressed up as the MiB, they can sort of pass as ok, but with just a top on, like below, they really stand out. Who thought these chunky, loose, flared-wristed, heavy gloves were the way to go? smh. They could have at least found some tighter-fitting, elegant, more flexible gloves. Is it because it's a hot country and they just don't have many gloves to choose from and this was the best they could do?! Or did they really want us to collectively lose our shit over them and be distracted from all the confusing plot elements? The mystery continues...

[ep 1] [ep 2] [ep 3] [ep 4] [ep 5] [ep 6] [ep 7] [ep 8] [ep 9] [ep 10]

[toraleistripe]

I JUST FINISHED SAW VI

OMFG

Y'ALL

Alright, so I think it's so interesting how John keeps making appearances in these movies even though he's, well, dead. OR IS HE?? I'm honestly not convinced he's dead, like, yeah they opened up his body in that morgue, literally removed his brain, but like, this is the Saw franchise, freaking anything can happen, maybe one of the big twists is that John's still alive somehow. If that's NOT the case, then I think it's really interesting that they continue to feature him in these movies despite the fact that he's been killed off. I like that we keep learning more about him though and his connections to the 'players' in his 'games'.

I was NOT expecting Agent Perez to still be alive, that was shock number one. I was convinced she'd been killed off, so that was quite a surprise. I feel even worse for Strahm now, he died thinking his partner was dead.

Hoffman is one slick son of a bitch, the way he just kept getting away with shit, good grief. And when Erickson and Perez had that woman analyzing the voice recording, I KNEW they were fucked, I got the feeling that they were getting suspicious of Hoffman and there was no way he was going to let them live if they found him out.

It was nice to see Amanda again, I was hoping we'd get to see her and Hoffman interact, that was neat to see. I wondered what their relationship was like while I was watching Saw V. I'm also glad to finally know what was in the note Hoffman left for her. Didn't expect Amanda to have been involved with Cecil the night Jill miscarried, that was shock number two.

Speaking of Jill, I've had my suspicions of her ever since her first appearance. Since she's John's ex, I wondered if she was involved wit everything going on, and apparently she IS. The more time she was onscreen, the more suspicious I got. I wonder if she's the one who's going to be calling the shots from now on?

AND did Hoffman survive the reverse bear trap?! I mean, his jaw was partially ripped open, so I don't see how he could've survived that, I guess it's possible if he's gotten to in time?? IDK, I suppose I'll find out in the next movie, maybe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I was also SO wrong about who Tara and Brent were. I thought they were William's family, BUT NO, NO THEY WERE NOT FKGJDLKS it blew my mind that they're actually Harold Abbott's family, that was wild. I also thought William was talking to a girlfriend or something when it showed him on the phone in that one scene near the beginning, but he was actually talking to Pamela, his freaking SISTER, didn't see that coming either!

It was also fucked how Hoffman was using Strahm's severed hand to plant his fingerprints on shit.

I'm sorry if this post is all over the place, my mind has just yet again been BLOWN by a Saw movie and it's hard to get my thoughts together fkjgksdjskjd

Once again I sit here in anticipation for the next movie, eager to see what more is going to be revealed.

[jacksmysterylabyrinth]

Roundup for Chapter 2, then.

Lost track of some details again because my head tends to wander off. Though the stupid thing is before I went on my suspicion of Kurumi again, before we even got to the raised area, I was about to make that silly Red Dwarf quote as a post but I plain forgot about it. But I did predict ‘they all did it’. I have no way to prove that though hdjfghfdjghj

The Investigation was really fun. Setting aside the horrible pervy-comic-relief from Desuhiko (especially THAT one...), it was great getting different perspectives of everyone depending on your disguise. And bringing the moral dilemma of ‘paranormal investigation’ into this is a plus, too. It was also really entertaining. This is fresh and fun stuff

I was expecting a bit more from Karen’s character, not gonna lie- in the end it was all about the girls banding up against her, but it feels like a terribly wasted angle when in the ML she turned into that burning witch and tried to convince others that she committed suicide. Seriously, if you’re gonna bring that in, at least get to what the argument was about and why it led to violence. The girls could have known something

This is where casting ‘judgement’ is really starting to get especially tricky. High schoolers who were backed into a wall by people who refused to enact justice, are all being killed in one go. I’m not so sure about everything Shinigami was saying about it, because as much as she waxes about ‘truth above justice’ it’s as if she gets in on the ‘justice’ thing just as much, from the way she acts about the executions. Honestly, I think that’s a matter of ‘you’re in the labyrinth now, this is the only way to get out’- but it’s all one big metaphor too, that much is obvious. Hrm

I really enjoyed this Labyrinth in particular- the changing-perspective thing was especially cool, using the environment in order to make that work. It just goes to show that tunnel - or hall - vision can end up blinding you to the other paths. Just like what happened in this case...

Desuhiko really did pull through despite being... yeah. Getting to connecting paths is smart intuition. Looking for connections in the fog, past the smoke and mirrors. Heeeh...

Well. Of course there are supernatural experiments! I kinda figured there would be, already. Was Yuma the result of them hahahaha

It seems Yuma really got extraordinarily lucky with Kurumi chasing him down. Then again her being an informant, this checks out

With that rather pointed comment from Vivian, I wonder if the next partner will be him. He could make for a particularly interesting one- at least his commentary has seemed really topical up til now

Happy to see one of the church squad again! Even if it’s minor, seeing Nun with a new sprite was really nice

That side-story about the grieving boyfriend is especially tricky- snapping someone out of a state like that isn’t so simple, but then leaving it to stay as it is doesn’t seem right either. Have to think of circumstances carefully when you decide a lie is better

Halara’s thing about deception being necessary, and now Desuhiko’s Forte being about disguises and coercing the truth out of people, curious follow-up on the theme...

I’m really rather glad that Kurumi wasn’t the actual culprit in the end, even though it could have gone that way with the misdirection thing. The three grieving and acting girls in the end turned out to be a greater answer to the theme, particularly about disguises and how they fooled Kurumi, who mistakenly judged them for Aiko’s case, not realising that they were masking their relationship to her. Next time I really ought to not jump to conclusions myself and focus on what’s in front of me

That’s that- at least as far as my notations go. Still the same issue with the videos (I keep getting swamped with them, and not enough time to load them into my computer and trim them, aurgh) but I saved a handful of good moments so I guess I’ll just be late. Overall, a really strong chapter if with a few nagging points, time to roll on

[luctheletterweaver]

Fight or Flight Symphonia Side - Ninth Fragment

I honestly didn't remember you fight a malfunctioning security system in the shape of a door. That fight was, as Genis said, stupid.

The quest for Genis to help Presea and maybe like Regal continues. This one needed a lot of rewatching the whole part on a play through because I erased this whole part from my brain, not much happens... EXCEPT FOR THE AMAZING SKIT BETWEEN REGAL AND GENIS!

Yeah, that inspired the small backstory you see here, since the game never said openly why Raine would be so hung up on being okay with killing sometimes (it can be interpreted from the whole half-elf thing, but I preferred to connect Genis' actions in Iselia to something she would have been traumatized by too).

This fragment appears in Ch 31, let's go to the side quest mines, ignore the thing that will make your time in the Earth Temple less annoying, and have some serious talks. Enjoy!

Word count: 2225

Toize Valley Mine

They fought a door of all things. A stupid malfunctioning door. And it took too long to beat it. Genis thought the journey couldn’t get any more ridiculous after this.

After making sure it was not going to attack again, the party went inside the mine and started exploring. There were some monsters inside, forcing them to avoid or fight in case they got too close for comfort. When there wasn’t anything attacking them, Genis quickly noticed the equipment inside the mine. It looked quite old, but it worked fine for some reason, which left him confused. Regal pressed a button and a platform on the other side of a hole started to move towards their position.

There hadn’t been any choice but to come here. Their visit at Altessa’s was not pleasant, the dwarf kicked them out moment Presea’s name was mentioned and refused to listen to them. That said, the young lady living with him, Tabatha, guided them to find inhibitor ore to make a new Key Crest for Presea since hers was made from something else apparently. She didn’t tell them where to find it though.

And there came Regal to save the day, who knew exactly where the ore was mined and its location. Genis scoffed in his head. This guy was something else entirely the more time he spent with the party. So, they went back to sea and arrived at Toize Valley, where the exsphere mine was located.

The platform arrived and Genis looked at it slightly terrified; he didn’t want to ride something that could break down at any moment. Not like he had a choice.

“Why are the machines running?” Lloyd asked with interest.

“This is an automated mine, so it runs by itself,” Regal replied.

Genis sighed. “No wonder. I don’t think anyone would ride this thing of their own will.”

“Do not worry, there hasn’t been any accidents like that before,” Regal explained as they got off the platform. “This was a mine from the ancient time. These machines are also from that time.”

“The professor would be really happy if she was here,” Colette said, though she immediately looked towards Genis with concern.

Genis shrugged. He didn’t know if to call this a blessing in disguise when Raine’s whereabouts were still unknown. Her ruin mode would have gone out of control here. She would probably scream in horror at the state of the machines with how much she loved to preserve things, demanding to know who made such an ignorant choice, and then imagine herself dismantling the machines to study them. Typical Raine behavior. And Genis missed even that.

Regal told them where the inhibitor ore was mined, and they followed the directions. Zelos made a strange comment of his knowledge of the place, Regal quickly deflecting he used to work there. Zelos didn’t seem convinced, showing his typical smug grin.

Genis didn’t understand Zelos’ sudden interest in Regal since Mizuho and didn’t feel like questioning it. After the argument in Ozette, he would have preferred to ignore Regal’s existence, but it was next to impossible when they traveled in the same group. The convict was nothing like the image Genis had. He was too polite, quiet, and quite knowledgeable for someone who claimed to have worked in a mine and spent a long time behind bars. Adding to that his monstrous strength, no imagination was needed as to why the other convicts back in the sewers listened to him so loyally. His cooking was really good too, it rivaled Genis’ skill —and wondered how Regal could cook with the shackles on—. Even if it stinged a little, it was nice to have someone else in the group who knew what they were doing when it came to food instead of another lost cause like his sister.

Besides Zelos, Lloyd was also fascinated and asking Regal all kinds of things, but knowing him, his friend would get bored real fast.

They continued their trek through the mine. A strange creature was wandering around but approaching made it start calling them rude things and asking for a potion. They ignored it. Then, Lloyd stepped on something, and they heard something heavy rolling towards them. Sheena reacted fast and grabbed both Genis and Colette and ran. When they rounded a corner, Genis saw a boulder falling off the edge.

“What the-?!”

Sheena’s swearing was cut off when they heard Zelos speaking from somewhere else. “Whoa, that was close! What was that?” Genis saw him, Lloyd and Regal huddled in a corner out of the way of the boulder.

“I’m sorry, I had forgotten. That’s a trap to stop intruders.”

Seriously?! What were the people who designed this place thinking? At least Regal looked apologetic over them almost getting crushed.

“Pay attention to what you’re doing!” Zelos complained.

Genis agreed with Zelos for once. He couldn’t wait to leave this place.

--

The encounter with the human named Vharley was unpleasant to say the least. As the party left the mine, Genis saw Regal walking slower than the others. Despite no one casting any judgement on him after what they learned, Regal was probably not comfortable having his crime told out loud like some common gossip. And the anger shown back there made it crystal clear there was some bad blood between Regal and Vharley.

Although his petty side wasn’t still comfortable, the man had saved them a lot of time by guiding them to the mine. Now, they had a working charm for Presea to wear until they could make a better Key Crest. Also… he’ll surely understand. Genis approached him. Regal looked at him but didn’t say anything, which was just as good.

“You’ve killed a human being,” Genis said dryly. There wasn’t any point in hiding what he wanted to talk about.

“That’s right,” Regal looked away. “I apologize. I imagine it’s not easy traveling with a criminal. I hope you can tolerate me for a short while. Just long enough for us to save Presea.”

Genis didn’t understand how Regal could sound so calm about his situation. After many months since that day, Genis was still assaulted by guilt at the mere reminder of killing someone.

“I-I’m a murderer, too,” Genis looked down.

Regal turned to him confused.

“I’ve hurt countless people to protect myself and my sister. I was forced to kill someone I wanted to help.” Marble’s screams echoed in his ears.

Regal stayed silent.

“I don’t know what it was you did, but I won’t tell you to leave just because you’ve killed someone.”

“I see.”

“Because… we’re all the same.”

“Thank you,” Regal said with a ghost of a smile.

Genis didn’t know how everyone else coped with what they’ve done. At the beginning, when he believed the lie of saving the world, their actions felt justified, righteous even, when they fought off the Desians and blew up the ranches. Until the truth came out. Now, what was all the killing for?

Survival. It was his friends or them. Nothing else. No matter how much Lloyd spouted they were looking for a way to save both worlds, until they found it, their killing was not justified beyond trying to survive in a hostile world. Genis didn’t mind as long as he could keep his loved ones alive.

Raine would agree with his thought process. She hadn’t been a fan of killing before. Whenever they were found out, she chose running rather than fighting back. Even when Genis learned his first spell, she always forbade him from using it with killing intent.

Then, a certain incident took place.

Back when Genis met with Colette, Raine, and Kratos in the desert, his mind was too focused on learning where Lloyd was taken, and his relief at finding them was immeasurable. That said, when sundown came and they were still in the desert without any clues, they returned to Triet since camping out in the sand would not be a good idea.

In the inn, Genis couldn’t sleep. The nightmares had become a constant since he and Lloyd were casted out of Iselia. He would always dream of that fight, the pain, the screams, and then the look of hatred from an old woman he was unable to help. So now that Raine was back, he went to find her.

To his luck, Colette was already asleep. Genis loved his friend but wasn’t sure if he was ready to share his sin with her or what really happened. Colette didn’t deserve to hear about their beloved village’s ugly side yet. He and his sister left the room and went for a walk. There, Genis spilled his guts about what happened in Iselia.

Raine hugged him to calm the tears that came to his eyes. She let him cry everything out, at times humming the lullaby. The sounds of the familiar song comforted him. When he was a little calmer, Raine explained that what he felt wasn’t wrong, it would just take time to heal. He’d tried to help out of the goodness of his heart but, sometimes, things didn’t go as one wanted. That’s when his sister started to tell him a story of a memory, one that seemed so distant but was a grave reminder of her role in Genis’ life.

Raine was carrying a feverish four-year-old Genis during a storm. They had no medical supplies, her healing artes weren’t strong enough, and the scarce food supplies were all for him until his body could break out the fever. Raine was hungry but ensuring Genis’ health was her priority.

She found a barn, seemingly abandoned, and entered to shelter them from the rain. It was supposed to be safe… until it wasn’t. The human who owned it found them in the middle of the night. Worst of all, it was one of the humans who casted them out of the village they’d been living in a few days ago. Raine tried to run at first, but there was no other way out than the one being blocked, and her strength was nothing due to lack of food. When she was thrown to the ground, she saw him advancing towards Genis, who was so weak he could barely keep his eyes open. That’s when she saw a pitchfork.

She took it and hit the man on the back to grab his attention. Raine only wanted to protect Genis, and that’s what pushed her body even though her stomach hurt so much. She and the man scuffled over the pitchfork for what seemed like minutes when it was barely seconds. Raine was able to push the man away and hit him hard in the head, hoping to leave him unconscious. The man didn’t move after that. Raine panicked. She shook him but no response. In case, she checked his head and then felt something in her fingers.

Blood. Horror.

She took Genis in her arms and ran out of the barn. The rain had stopped during the fight.

Raine found a hole under the trunk of a tree and crawled inside it, curling up to Genis to keep him warm. When the adrenaline subsided, reality sunk in. She killed someone. She killed someone.

She killed someone.

Raine couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t her choice, she just wanted to protect Genis. If she hadn’t fought back, her little brother….

Raine didn’t sleep that night, albeit due to the guilt or the worry if Genis would wake up the next day, she didn’t know. In the darkness under that tree, she bawled until the sun rose high in the sky, never letting go of Genis.

She never spoke of it. The damage was done, and it was better to spare Genis of her crime. That said, after a few days of processing and crying in silence when her brother was asleep, Raine realized something. Kill or be killed. Her brother or the humans that hated them out of prejudice. If she had to bloody her hands to give Genis a future, then so be it. They would survive, no matter what, until they found a home. A true home.

From that day on, Raine took to killing if necessary and when provoked. It was them or the humans, she said, yet never allowed Genis to do the same.

“I always wondered what happened in those days. I couldn’t remember,” Genis said in bewilderment at the whole story. “You never told me anything. And I knew not to ask.”

“And I wished you’d never have to find out,” Raine stroked Genis’ cheek. “Now you understand why. But remember this, Genis. We don’t kill because we want to, we do because we need to survive. In this world that hates us because we were born, we need to fight. Your actions were not out of evil, you didn’t wish for Marble’s death…”

Genis grimaced. “I’m sorry for what I said in Ozette. It was wrong. But that doesn’t mean I like you, understand?!”

“I see.”

 Genis ran back to the front, stopping behind Lloyd and Sheena who were talking. He looked back for a second, seeing Regal much more relaxed while he caught up with the party. Genis relaxed too as if some of the weight was lifted off him.

“…so, it’s okay to forgive yourself.”