#holy shit why is this one so good????
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day 19: shin tsukimi
#guys i think i accidentally took the best fucking photo of my lifw#would you believe me if i said i did this in one take without even looking at my phone??????#new pfp as well#holy shit why is this one so good????#omfg#anyway#shin tsukimi#kimi ga shine#kmgsn#your turn to die#yttd
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ratcliffe power station by michael kenna
#obsessed#ugh#just so good#michael kenna#love him but why are all his books so fucking expensive#like holy shit#the cheapest one is $290 ???#black and white photography#smoke stacks
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Fanfic prompt: you know how dink can control monsters and all
You know what would be beyond cruel
If he took the form of Malon and started fighting time while the chain is busy fighting the hord
Time gets increasingly angrier and annoyed by him daring to use his wife’s face to make him feel bad
Then in one cut he hatefully stabs him in the stomach and Dink drops this nightmare of a sentence while laughing
“You know that I can control monsters do you really think that she could resist me?”
Then gives time one last Malon like smile before dying
But the body never changes back and the hero of time has to see his lover’s death body right in front of him
The chain also watches in horror and guilt as time breaks down
And after the shock passes
A portal appears and the chain spends the entire time walking to Lon Lon ranch in silence and guilt for not realizing that the shadow took control over a loved one
As they open the door
The entire house was empty
And now either Malon was hanging out with her friends and because of that wasn’t home
Or
The shadow wasn’t gaslighting them and time really just killed his wife
(Wind just wondering why everyone is upset over the shadow dying because he can clearly see that it’s the shadow with his ghost seeing ability
Not understanding that the others are not capable of seeing ghosts and just thinks that they are guilty for killing a monster with their loved one's face
Is hilarious to think about)
#linked universe#lu wind#lu time#lu legend#lu sky#lu warriors#lu wild#lu hyrule#lu four#lu twilight#lu malon#lu malink#time is a mess#and he has a mental breakdown#wind can see ghosts#the chain is having a crisis right now#because of the implications#while wind is just confused#possession#shapeshifter#are so good#like why#isn’t he trying to gaslight people into believing they killed their loved ones#like holy shit#that would be evil#as fuck#lu dink#lu dark link
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#alolan raichu#holy shit these alolan forms are kicking the fuck outta my ass#the things i do for you all. my production value on this blog has increased over the years and i don't think i can get away with the same#weird shit i used to be able to when i couldn't find a good model so now i'm having to learn how to use blender and shit??#downloading weird scripts off the internet just because i can't find the right models. and now alolan raichu has kantonian eyes#they have kantonian eyes. i know. i'm sorry. i don't know how to fix it and this is the best you're going to get because i had to work for#like an hour and a half just to get to this point. and i know the lighting is dark. it's. it's bad. it'll probably be like this for all#the alolan forms at least. and holy shit when we get to gen 9 it's going to be even worse#this is a wreck!! this is a wreck. i had to use the sv model for this one and it's like#i dunno the eyes in sv aren't textures?? they're procedural. they're fucking. shaders. in sv. which is why espeon's pupils#are no longer pupils and are instead reflections (lie‚ falsehood)#and i'm. dissolving. y'all're gonna have to bear with me moving forward bc i've gotten Very used to the “it just works” nature of#the older models that i was using but this is getting way harder on me as we move into newer generations
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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HEY. HEY.
HEY @re-dracula WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO HAVE JONATHAN ACTUALLY READING THAT PASSAGE OUT LOUD BEHIND SEWARD DESCRIBING THE SCENE, HUH? WITH THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE AND THE PAUSING AND THE SHORT LITTLE INHALES AND THE VOICE CRACKS? WAS IT TRULY NECESSARY??? I WAS ALREADY CRYING. I DIDN'T NEED THIS TOO. WHAT THE FUCK.
#dracula#dracula daily#re: dracula#re dracula#to be clear this is meant in sarcastic jest this episode was a beautifully crafted piece of art and I'm blown away by the cast and#the producers and the editors... holy fucking shit I know today's was a short episode but I think it's taken its place as my favorite so fa#it beat out jonathan fuckin dropping out of the sky in front of drac with his fuckin knife out in order to protect his wife which was ALSO#very good and made me cheer out loud in my car but THIS#also why does jack get to narrate all the dope ass dramatic scenes#I wonder if Mina was like#no really y'all this dude has the best voice and grammar structure for storytelling#we gotta let him keep doing the phonograph thing and I'll just keep copying it down later#tbh she's so valid for that also y'all are so valid for casting jonny sims in this role bc he SHINES when he's describing emotional shit#he NAILS the middle ground between conveying the emotion of a scene and still being a separate narrator#it's almost like he did a whole podcast of that one time ANYWAY my point is y'all are incredible and I am so fuckin glad y'all decided to#start this project
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Ok Inertia came in swinging with a beat that slaps so hard I forgot to duck and was knocked on my ass by the force that is the last two verses.
#AJR#the maybe man#holy shit i just started sobbing you don't understand#Why does it hit so fucking hard#the gradual tension that just picks up as the verses continue???#those 3rd and 4th ones just suddenly pick you up and you're getting just as full of emotion and angry and sad and everything slaps you holy#sorry i don't usually blog about music im just#the maybe man was really good I enjoyed it thoroughly#turning out part iii also hit me but in the kind of way where i want to just go hug my fiancee and tell them i love them and im thankful#that they're here ;w;#holy hell i probably won't shut up about this to friends for the next few days#my post
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So uh, me and my sister are watching Steven Universe and we just finished Gem Drill last night
And today, this girl came up to me just now and asked me "Because Pearl cared so much about Rose Quartz, and Pearls are normally servants like the yellow and blue one, was Rose Quartz the Pink Diamond?"
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkk
#just posting#no she didn't look up anything she “had this idea when I was on the toilet” when I asked how the heck did she “come up with that?”#the reason why she knows about pink diamond is because she noticed the Great Diamond symbol on the arena and moon base#and we've seen Blue and Yellow Diamond thanks to Peridot and Garnet's story#so she figured it's reasonable that “there's a white and pink diamond” which I had to confirm it's not big spoilers anyways#but yeah uh anyways thanks for the heart attack kid. jesus#she figured it out fuck fuck fuck#I told her that she “cooked like Yor (Briar)” which got her to laugh and divert from the tracks for a bit thank god#(yes we watch SxF yes I realize it might be above her age. dw I skip the weird parts and she understands why)#what she doesn't know though is that I'm referring to the one good dish Yor cooked in the whole series so far#holy shit.#steven universe
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Watch out ya'll, Sin's sketching Bloodborne comics again! 💀
#sin speaking#(i havent drawn anything bb related since MAY. holy shit dude. tbf i have been affronted by existing in general lmao)#(wow 2 whole years in the bb community and this is the first time ive drawn any of the main monstars. very subpar of me)#(im making approximately 0 promises on when this will get done bc i always end up being wrong LOL but still)#(i got a big brain boost of bb inspiration so you have to contend with my messy af sketches)#(anyone thats been here for a while is used to that though)#(why yes!! i AM infatuated with the choir rn. specifically my choir menace hradi who i love so much he has been written into ruzas story)#(as a minor role. but a role nonetheless. HEH.)#(it feels good...it feels so good to be with them again...)#(this isnt a big comic its like 4 pages lmao but still)#(i am currently raiding the chalice dungeons for uncanny weapons if yall need someone to tomb prospect with hmu)#(aloysha and hradi's profiles are menacingly strong and available for hire at the price of one corn chip)#(if nobody else got me i know my ballpoint pen unique brush got me AMEN)
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Quick heads up: No progress report today, however... I will say there's a good chance the demo may be updated in the very near future. So keep an eye out for that. 😉
#redo; rewind if#i'm so excited!!!!!! bug testing is almost complete there's just a few odds and ends to check and a couple things i want to change#but other than that it's good to go!#i can't wait for bug testing to be done because holy shit guys i spend like 4 hours last night trying to resolve 1 (one) fucking bug#i still don't know why it happened or how i fixed it but it works now. so. that's good enough for me!#also found a sugarcube validator which didn't register the 4 hour long hellscape extravaganza as a bug#but it did help me find a couple little ones so that was nice
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for some reason i can't explain i know saint peter won't call my name
nothing that lives, lives forever - an immortal soldier!alton more au
(1.1k of snippets from my old guard(ish) au where alton more is old, too old, and has been living and fighting far longer than anyone should. full description/other thoughts at the bottom. tw: blood, violence, mentions of death)
Alton clicked the lighter closed, running a thumb over the silver case. The night was warm, sticky in a way that he never could get used to. He sucked in a breath from the cheap cigarette, letting his head fall back against the rough side of the barracks.
It was quiet. Typically, there would be no end to the commotion coming from the small building, one of many that littered Camp Toccoa. The wall of sound was ever-present, no matter if it was shouting or laughing or snoring. But whatever the cause, there was always noise.
No matter if it was a blanket of noise he knew well, unchanging except for the language and the scenery. Soldiers are soldiers, and some things are a constant. It could almost be comforting, if it didn’t also mean that the need for soldiers was a constant as well.
However, tonight was a Saturday, and it was one of the few weekends that Sobel had allowed Easy the use of their weekend passes. Almost every man in the company had jumped at the chance to get off base, to travel home if they could and spend time with loved ones. The ones with farther-flung hometowns had spirited off to Atlanta, happy to spend their time drinking and dancing and fucking instead of slogging through another run, three miles up, three miles down.
Normally, Alton would have joined them in their carousing - it was easier to pass the time with the effortless camaraderie built during a training camp than bored and alone.
But today had been a bad day. The sound of swords and the shift of sand beneath his feet followed him out of his nightmares, the humid summer of Georgia morphing itself into the baking, dry heat of the desert.
His shouts must have been real, because when a hand came to shake him out of his dream, the first face he saw was not that of a grouchy NCO, but of a blood-caked Saracen, eyes alight with righteous fury.
Alton didn’t think. He had grabbed the knife from under his pillow, an old thing that had been sharpened more times than he could begin to count, and was on the man in less than a breath, pressing the blade into the side of his neck. The familiar thrum of blood beat against his fingertips, the grit of sand scratched his gums. He knew what he had to do, had done it a thousand times, a thousand thousand times, what was a little more bloodshed spilled across his feet-
Alton had blinked, and came to himself in a rush.
Instead of an unnamed Saracen, the ashen face of Johnny Martin stared up at him, eyes wide behind the knife.
Alton drew back his hand, retreating almost as quick as he had lunged earlier. He mumbled a quick curse and apology as he stepped out of arm’s reach from the man. It wasn’t until Martin’s eyes widened even farther that Alton realized his tongue was slipping out Arabic of all things.
Usually, Alton was better about remembering himself, who he was almost as important as where he was. But for whatever reason, his demons had decided to catch up with him that night.
After a quick smile and some quip about the Krauts in his dreams, he managed to wave an only-slightly-mollified Martin off. The shorter man apparently hadn’t forgotten it though, if his watchful eyes during chow that morning were anything to go by.
Alton was just glad that no one else was awake to see it, at least. That was the last thing he needed.
And so, instead of joining in on a weekend of broads and booze, Alton found himself waving away the invitation by an eager Smokey and bemused Alley. When the horde made their way out of the barracks, fantasizing in bawdy terms about their planned misadventures, he felt like he could breathe easy.
Fucking finally.
~~
Alton took another drag from the cigarette. He watched the smoke curl, up and up until it faded into nothing amongst the darkening sky.
The lighter was a welcome weight in his hand, grounding him to this time, this life.
The design was worn by now, details barely visible after a half century of worrying. It still managed to amaze him, sometimes, what people could do with the smallest of canvases. Alton didn’t feel the same wonder however, wasn’t as mesmerized by the beauty man could create as he once was.
But in the quiet moments, he could still appreciate the time some French craftsman took to transform a hunk of metal into a small token carried around by a dead man.
Luz had spied the lighter one weekend, and laughed at him for using something so old-fashioned. Alton just shrugged, not caring to admit that he was still getting used to having a light at his fingertips. It wasn’t all that long ago when he was still lighting a pipe with a flintlock pistol, and not so long before that when he would carry around a flint and steel.
Time was passing all the more quickly these days, technologies changing and advancing, and everyone was obsessed with needing things to be quicker, cheaper, simpler. Alton scoffed. He could hardly find it in him to care.
He glanced down at the lighter in his hand, shifting it back and forth in a practiced motion and watched as the light skittered across the sides.
It had shown flowers, once. A veritable garden of carnations, daffodils, and lilies of the valley, with leaves spilling across the front panel onto the back. They represent good fortune, he was told. Good fortune, luck, and hope.
When the merchant described it to him, eyes ablaze with a passion known only to those with wares to sell, Alton didn’t try to hide the snort that escaped his throat.
Fortune and Luck had abandoned him long ago, and hadn’t returned since waking up in a battlefield abandoned by all but the dead, sword in his chest and blood in his mouth.
And what the fuck was Alton supposed to do with hope?
It was the quote on the back that had caught his eye, all those years ago in a street market in Reims. The beveled edges had faded with time, the familiar letters Alton traced were more memory by now than any physical mark. Une vie honorable est une vie éternelle.
An honorable life is an eternal life.
Alton couldn’t help but stare at the message, both then and now. He hated that goddamn word. Immortal. Unending. Eternal.
They were such flowery words, used by people who craved what they couldn’t have, what they shouldn’t. The romanticized idea of the everlasting, the fountain of youth, the gift of life! Alton was sick of it.
This wasn’t life. He was a fucking dead man walking. And he sure as hell didn’t do anything honorable to deserve it.
months ago, while thinking about the absolute insanity of the almost...cavalier? attitude we see alton more have over the course of the series, an idea hit my brain: what if there was a reason nothing seemed to phase him - not panzers, not being a breath away from a car wreck, not bastogne, not speirs? what if this wasn't his first war? that thought spiraled me into a minor insanity that is this: my immortal soldier!alton more au, loosely inspired by the movie the old guard (2020). the idea is that, once upon a time, there was a soldier in a land many centuries ago. one day, he died in battle. and then, he woke up. and then he died. and then he woke up. over, and over. drawn to countless battles, conflicts, and wars, each one etching itself into the core of his soul. a never-ending cycle...until one sweltering summer, where he found himself at a training camp at the foot of a mountain. anyways. at some point, i plan on writing this as a full story, but that is admittedly a long ways away. however, in celebration of alton more's birthday today, i wanted to post my favorite scene that i've written for this au! it's set sometime at the beginning of the story, in the early days of camp toccoa. mostly, it's just a character study of this version of alton more. hope you enjoyed! and of course - happy birthday alton more!
(song insp.)
taglist: @sweetxvanixlla @coco-bean-1218 @bucky32557038ww2 @georgieluz @samwinchesterslostshoe @xxluckystrike @next-autopsy @ronald-speirs @land-sh @ronsparky @panzershrike-pretz @theredrenard @kyellin
#happy alton more day!#holy shit im actually posting this...i've been sitting on it for MONTHS#but YEAH its just...the gothic romanticism about the physical embodiment of war and soldiers and the concept of death you know??#what it means to feel and to live and to connect to those around you when it all feels so fleeting#fleeting not just due to the nature of war but also the nature of immortality#or something#...look i have a lot of thoughts about this story okay#it kills me#its also known in my brain as the “how immortal soldier!alton more made friends” story#because literally thats it thats the plot#OH WAIT did i forget to mention that speirs is also an immortal soldier in this story??#oh yeah thats the best fucking bit - they met like centuries and centuries ago on the wrong ends of one of the various punic wars#(where speirs was known back then as...wait for it...TERTIUS)#its good goddamn shit okay#also explains why alton is so fucking unflinching towards speirs at any given point and why they were so petty about the photo albums#ANYWAYS if anyone wants to hear more about this!! come stop on by!!!#also yes the title is a reference to the old guard#as is the reference to the siege of jerusalem which is where joe and nicky met#immortal soldier!alton more#alton more#nothing that lives lives forever#easy company#band of brothers fic#mine#band of brothers#bofb#hbowar#em's moodboards#em writes#jesus christ i guess that's a tag now
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reached the end of the tears of the dragon questline. I knew it I had a feeling ever since my discovery yesterday I had a feeling and I am so so so sad and horrified but that was badass what a great idea A+ game you have such a good story opportunity here please please grab it
#totk spoilers#totk liveblog#loz liveblog#ok gonna try to be as vague as possible but like. dont read if you don't want spoilers. im serious#ok so the fact that i literally said ''i'm afraid they will reduce zelda to a sacred power''#and then ''OMG THE GAME REMEMBERS ZELDA IS A PERSON WHO HAS INTERESTS AND TRAITS AND ISN'T JUST HER ABILITIES''#and THEN. THIS HITS ME OVER THE HEAD. THE ULTIMATE TOOLIFICATION OF ONE ZELDA BOSPHORAMUS HYRULE. HOLY SHIT#i really hope that the point of the game is that it's bs that she is worth so much more than what she can do with her powers#bc the sidequests and botw all point to that#and if that is indeed the point of the game. oh my god. oh my GOD. I AM NEVER GONNA STOP THINKING ABOUT IT#the mad dash i did across akkala bc i didnt have any teleport points nearby........ good god#nintendo why didnt you make link's reaction stronger that was. insane. insane
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#why do you need this many legs sir#toedscruel#woah holy shit i just looked outside and it's super dark out. i'm queuing this up at noon why is it so dark#lemme look#yeah it's. dark. there's a bunch of dark evil clouds in the sky lookin like it's gonna storm oh i just heard thunder yeah it's gonna storm#uh oh. good thing i'm queueing this guy up before the storm so my power doesn't go out. this happens frequently#anyway toedscruel. it's definitely an evolution of toedscool. it definitely looks like tentacruel#if it's a different pokémon why does it evolve into something so suspiciously similar. i can understand wigglet and wugtrio being#different pokémon. just based on how different they are from diglett and dugtrio. even though their names are a typo away#but this guy is. it. really should've just been a regional form‚ i think#unrelated‚ but on random occasions seemingly whenever someone new finds the blog and reads my tags#i'll occasionally get folks asking me how i type commas in the tags#the answer is that this character → ‚ ← is not a comma. it just looks identical to a comma because of tumblr's font#it's actually a lower quotation mark. so for a language that does ‚this kind’ of quotation marks#and i use it as a comma because i have a fancy linguist keyboard that can type all kinds of fancy symbols. and it's easily accessible#some of my favorites include the single-character ellipse: …#the degrees symbol: º and °#small A: ª#fractions: 1⁄2 2⁄3 1⁄4 etc#and obviously IPA symbols and various diacritics‚ so that i can type the word pokémon without having to copy-and-paste the E#currency symbols‚ too. £¢$§¥ euro is on here somewhere but i don't know where bc i don't use that one really#i just like being able to type things the way they're supposed to be. like it's 80º outside. the stopwatch costs 15¢ in the shop#and‚ of course‚ pokémon. it's the linguistics and computer 'tism combining together i think#it's storming harder now but i found the euro symbol: €#oh fuckin hell my lights just flickered. this is gonna be rough..!
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the legends speak of it as a kind of enthrallment: the life ended by the tiger is tied to the tiger. in this way there is a line of souls following the beast, for no reason except to show that they were killed. that they could be saved - if only the beast would die [...] in the dark of the wood you see it walk, shadow to shadow, followed by loss after loss after loss, a tail trailing seemingly into the deep death of night [...]
#bakuspecial#cw: body horror#cw: nudity#ask to tag#hi. this is actually not at all the piece Ive been sitting on. I just suddenly really wanted to sketch this at 4 last night#and now. it got done before the one Ive been looking at for uhhhh four days! awesome#this legend I only know like colloquially but it is real btw. iirc#like if a tiger mauls u ur soul has to follow it around until it does#dies. I mean dies. when it does anything is kinda why ur there in the first place#this is very divorced from its full context tho lol tigers and most big animals were generally thought to be long lived and uh. magic?#like they become sapient. when they live long enough. and they start learning spells n shit#so when u become tiger thrall its assumed the tiger actually has stuff for u to do. ur not just following it doin nothing#granted the stuff its assumed it'd want u to do's probably fucking up people's lives or find more stuff for the tiger#greed is also assumed for these beasts generally. so yeah#okay holy fuck I should NOT be awake rn. my brain is not working anymore#have a good night lads. had a really fucking good beef stew tonite. here's to many more of those and for u guys to have some
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you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!
oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!
(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)
anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???
or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?
(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)
now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!
but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.
see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?
(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)
so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.
"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.
oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.
and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!
(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.
but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)
the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.
(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)
so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.
but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.
oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.
so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.
oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.
oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?
in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.
arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.
remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.
#tldr: oikawa 's confident in himself but (believing that there will always be someone more talented) is always striving to become better#ANYWAYS#i know this one's a bit different from the itachiyama post where i analyzed each panel but like#that was REALLY hard to do for this one since there were so many good ones i could use!!!#so i ended up just smashing 2-3 panels together that i thought were best representative of each point i wanted to talk about#and then just diving deep into the whole thing#if i had done it the first way we would have been here FOREVER#literally that's why it took so long i kept deleting and rewriting and going 'holy shit how the fuck do i write this'#'how can ANYTHING i possibly say do justice to oikawa tooru'#i hope i did a good job and i hope this helped anon!!!#i genuinely think this is the most insane thing i have ever written so thanks for that i guess#oikawa tooru#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu meta#sou says stuff
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Ngl I’m tempted to animate something from that one canon au where Kusuo dies with this cover
#I will never not take an opportunity to post about Will Stetson#I typically don’t care for English covers or dubs or anything but holy shit man he’s an exception for me#I’m a little ashamed to admit he has some covers that I actually prefer to the original#Like “nothings working out”#Which is also a very Saiki brothers coded song tbh#Specifically Kuusuke coded#WHY DID TUMBLR TAG THIS YOUTUBE DONT DO THAT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION ??#Oh actually speaking of English covers (I really like the art of song translation sorry) there’s actually one that’s not by Will Stetson#that I really like#The rolling girl cover by lollia#she makes it like? Rock? It’s so cool#and back to Will Stetson he does a cover of hated by life itself that has rap and when I first saw that I was like hmmmm how is that gonna#work out yk#BUT ITS SO SO GOOD? AND IT KIND OF ENHANCES THE EXPERIENCE ACTUALLY#That song (the original moreso) is also imo saiki coded#Hey can u guys tell my brain is rotted#i love translation one of my fav external/non story parts ab the saiki manga besides Asous ramblings is the translators notes#Like them explaining how the joke works and the context behind it and why a joke might be hard to translate#its so interesting to me
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