#covid like well actually the way you say that does reveal that you Do actually have a little dust bunny of shame about your shitty behavior

[californiaquail]

was hanging out with someone today and she was talking about how she would shoot the hawks and eagles if they went after her indoor/outdoor cat and i had to struggle to keep a straight face. there is an EASY fucking solution to this problem that doesn't involve killing federally protected wildlife OR your poor damn cat. who got in a fight last night and left fur all over the place.

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

[annerbhp]

So I think you’ve written some of my fav HP fanfic ever like ever ever and I see you’ve been obsessing over the untamed lately. Is there anything similar narratively that drew you to it or another reason why you’d recommend someone watch the untamed?

Thanks so much! That is very kind of you to say, and REALLY nice of you to give me a chance to blather on about The Untamed!

You know, sometimes I just think the right piece of media comes along at the right moment and just hits all the right buttons. I swear I can never see it coming until it does.

Part of the reason I started watching The Untamed in the first place was because I kept seeing random posts about it and I was looking for something to distract me. It was still during the most isolated time period of COVID. I'd also found that my attention span and ability to focus on one thing at a time was severely challenging at the time? Like I couldn't even watch TV without also playing a game on my phone or doom-scrolling. So when I started The Untamed looking for something to watch, the fact it was in a foreign language and I had to read subtitles like...fixed this for me? It allowed me to fully focus on something for the first time in a long time. I also really like the formats of Chinese dramas in general, in that they are long (50 episodes in this case) enough to get really invested in the characters and character arcs, but are filmed at the same time with a complete plot from beginning to end. It's just so much nicer than the American TV show format of "here's a season, maybe you'll get another, maybe not, maybe the plot will wildly change, maybe we'll keep upping the ante and randomly kill people off when actors get different jobs." So the combo of subtitles and format really appealed to me.

But as for why The Untamed in particular is great, well, there's a lot of reasons!

It's a world that has magic, which I always find fascinating. This fantasy setting is based off Chinese Daoist traditions.

It has the theme of young people forced into war far too young. (Sometimes it feels like the show is actually three different genres in turn: high school hijinks, gritty war movie, and a murder mystery caper, and each one is awesome.)

Which kind of leads to another of my favorite things: the character arcs. I love a show with thoughtful character growth and change over time and this one does that really well.

There are so many characters to love, all with their own drives and interests. I can't say this show does overly well by its female characters when it comes to plot, but when it comes to character development, they are all fully fleshed out and have their own drives and none of them exist to just be a love interest, which is nice!

There are Jane Austen-levels of romantic longing. Like, the show is based off a novel that is explicitly gay, and I do mean explicit. Yet thanks to censorship, everything is subtext that is played so well by the actors and clearly very carefully put in place by the creators of the show through music and things like framing and glances and symbolism and hand touches, did I mention the LONGING GAZES? They know what they are doing. This show is so romantic, I can't even get over it, especially since it could never really be explicitly stated, even though it totally is!! (I am such a sucker for romance.)

There is also absolutely beautiful music, cinematography, and costuming.

Phenomenal acting, even when some of the CGI is laughably bad, and most people playing instruments don't look at all like they are actually playing.

This show has tragedy and humor and highly competent people and complicated evil and historical trauma and a complete denial of black and white thinking. It never holds back from exploring the ways society can fail us and we can fail ourselves. And how we can still find ways forward.

Also, the show has some jaw-dropping plot reveals that I just did not see coming, though maybe other people did. It was one of those, "WAIT A MINUTE" moments when the moment the show ended I was determined to watch all 50 episodes again immediately with my new understanding. I love media that can pull that off.

Look, the opening scene is literally the main character falling to their death off a cliff and you get to spend the rest of the series trying to figure out how that happened and where the world goes from there. It's beautiful!

If you do try to watch it, the first episode or two is SO CONFUSING, and that's fine, just go with it. By episode 10 if you are not completely sucked in, then maybe it's just not for you. We get some non-linear story telling approaches that are so effective.

Also, not really a "why is the show so great" or anything, but the fandom for this show is so active and HUGE. Like, there are currently over 43,000 fics on AO3 for the main pairing in this fandom alone. You'll be reading for ages. Some of them are the best fics I've ever read.

Hmmm. I think I'll go read some Olympics AUs.

[fleurywiththesave]

For the ask game: ↻ FLIP FLOP for It’s the magical mystery kind (especially the reveal outside the bar at the allstar game / the ending from Leon‘s POV) please💙

YES I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU!!! (here's the original fic)

(↻FLIP FLOP:send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!)

Leon can’t seem to catch his breath in the bar. He was okay during the actual game, but now he feels hyper-aware of Matthew’s presence just a few tables away from where Leon’s sitting with Connor. He’s with his brother, drinking and laughing and apparently having a wonderful time. Which he should be. This is meant to be fun.

Connor has no idea – no one does, Leon’s managed to keep everything locked down tight – but he keeps asking Leon why he’s acting so squirrelly, until Leon finally gets fed up and steps outside to attempt a reset.

“Stop being weird,” he orders himself. It doesn’t help much. Or at all.

He’s not even entirely sure when it all started. It would be easy enough to say it was their first all-star game, but that’s not quite right. Maybe that’s when the Matthew switch in his head initially eased off of PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE, but the rest of it…it crept up on him. At some point during the Covid season, when they were playing each other constantly, Leon began to wish that he were the person making Matthew laugh, genuinely laugh, the way his teammates did. And he’s been suffering in silence ever since.

The past few months have been harder, he won’t pretend otherwise. It’s not like Leon ever made any progress on attempting even just a friendship with Matthew, but at least when they were in the same province, he could still fool himself into thinking that he might. Now Matthew is on the other side of the continent, loving life in Florida, no doubt headed to a Cup win within the next few years, and Leon…

Leon is just a loser who doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings, and Matthew can never, ever know. Which shouldn’t make it so hard for Leon to act normal around him, since their normal is, well, nothing. But apparently that would be too easy for his brain.

He’s staring up at the moon, feeling kind of like he belongs on a teen drama, when there’s some noise behind him and he turns to see Matthew. Of course. Of fucking course he does. Because the universe is out to get him.

“Hey, Tkachuk.” Wow, solid. Try to sound more flat and unfriendly, Leon. He’s usually pretty good with people – how come he can never quite get his shit together around Matthew?

“‘Sup,” Matthew says. He’s a little wobbly on his feet and Leon has to stifle laughter. Drunk Matthew kind of resembles a baby deer.

“Having a good time?”

“I’m a responsible drinker,” Matthew responds, which isn’t really an answer, but he’s nodding sagely like he’s just delivered some profound wisdom and Leon has to fight even harder against laughter.

“I’m sure you are,” he agrees, then adds, when Matthew sways a little bit like he’s getting dizzy, “Hey, maybe it’s time to call it a night. Do you want me to get you an Uber?” There, that’s good. Friendly, helpful. A normal, thoughtful gesture.

But Matthew turns fiery in a second, hissing, “Go fuck yourself” so surely and ferociously that Leon can practically feel it washing over him. He’s half-tempted to just turn tail and run back to Connor like a wimp, but he makes himself try again.

“Come on, Tkachuk. Let me take you home. I think you need to go to sleep.”

“Don’t wanna sleep,” Matthew says. Or, more accurately, whines. Leon kind of hates that he still finds it endearing. “I hate sleeping.”

He doesn’t even know what to make of that. “Um, okay? But—”

“When I sleep, I have to wake up,” Matthew says, cutting him off. “And when I wake up, you’re always gone.”

It’s like a bucket of ice water being dumped over his head and flooding his lungs.

“What did you say?”

“You’re always gone,” Matthew says again. “‘S not fair. ‘S like…like…oh, Matthew, here’s your person. Just kidding! He’s in Edmonton and he hates you!”

Leon can’t decide if he’s about to throw up or pass out. How, how, how did this happen? He’s always been so careful, ever since the day his parents sat him down and explained what he could do. He was twelve years old and utterly horrified by the whole concept, and resolved immediately that he would master how to control it and it would never be an issue. And it never has been, until now. Of course it’s now, when it matters most of all.

“Matthew…” He has no idea where he’s going with that sentence. Matthew starts to walk away before he can figure it out, but he’s still shaky on his feet and Leon grabs his arm without even thinking about it. “Whoa. Okay, okay. Matthew, come on. Let me take you home and I…we can talk in the morning. I’ll explain in the morning.”

“Explain to your mom.” Yeah, Matthew is pretty damn drunk. But he tells Leon his address and gets in the uber without a fuss, and, after trying and failing several times to open the front door himself, hands his house keys over to Leon.

Leon peeks in the upstairs rooms as quickly as possible until he finds what must be Matthew’s room. What a joke, what an incredibly sick joke by his old friend the universe, that he’s actually in Matthew’s house, in his bedroom, and it’s only to make Matthew get some sleep before Leon has to confess to what’s been happening and beg for his forgiveness. He tugs Matthew’s sneakers off of his feet and gets him to lie down and hates himself the entire time.

“I don’t wanna have another dream,” Matthew mutters.

“You won’t.” He never will again, Leon can at least promise that. Now that he knows what he’s been doing, he would give up sleep himself if that’s what it takes,

“You don’t know that. You’ve been hau–haunting me for months. When I find out who’s doing it, ‘m gonna…gonna…gonna pinch ‘em, really hard.” Matthew sounds like a petulant child, which only makes Leon feel worse. He should be furious, shouting and swearing and maybe trying to call the police, not morosely threatening classic older brother treatment.

“You won’t,” Leon says again. “I’m sorry.” Matthew doesn’t respond. He’s asleep.

Leon promised to explain in the morning, so he can’t exactly leave. But he can burrow into Matthew’s couch – one that’s clearly been chosen for comfort rather than aesthetics, which only makes him more endearing – and call his mother. Unfortunately he starts to cry as soon as she picks up.

“Leon?” she says, sounding understandably alarmed. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

“I messed up, Mama,” he whispers. It all comes tumbling out, everything he’s been keeping carefully hidden for the last couple years and how badly he’s managed to screw up anyway. His mother makes a few startled noises along the way, but when he finally gives her a chance to get a word in edgewise, she’s utterly calm.

“It’s going to be okay,” she says soothingly. “You can tell him the truth in the morning.”

“He’s going to hate me,” Leon says. “Even more than he did before.”

“What you’ve described does not sound like someone who hates you, Leon.”

“Well, he does,” Leon says firmly. “I’ll just be lucky if he doesn’t tell the entire league what I did.”

“I think you should try to get some sleep,” his mother tells him. “Our problems usually don’t seem quite as scary in the light of day.”

Leon is a good son, so he follows her instructions. Or at least, he does eventually. It takes him a long time to fall asleep, since the sheer embarrassment and mortification of the night gives him another jolt every time he closes his eyes, but he gets there in the end. It’s restless and uneven, but at least he keeps his word to Matthew.

_____

Matthew hasn’t emerged yet when Leon wakes up, with a sore neck and a headache even though he had way less to drink last night than some people. At least Matthew’s coffee maker is a simple model. He stumbles into the kitchen when the pot Leon started is almost ready, also looking a little worse for wear.

“Hey,” he says. “I have multiple guest rooms, you know.” Leon knows – he looked in two of them last night before finding Matthew’s room – but it didn’t seem appropriate to just help himself to Matthew’s space when he hadn’t actually been given permission. He says as much. “Well. Thank you for getting me home. And for making coffee.” Matthew is looking at him expectantly. Leon digs down deep into his guts to dredge up every bit of courage he can.

“Matthew, I owe you an apology.”

“For what?” Matthew asks. Leon pulls in a deep breath. He can’t even look Matthew in the eye when he answers him.

“For the dreams.”

“For the—it was you?”

Leon nods. He can’t feel his hands. “I swear to you, I had no idea I was doing it. I never, ever meant to project any of that onto you. It’s been a long time since I had to work to control it, and I guess I got sloppy…I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know how to make it up to you.” His voice sounds desperate and pathetic even to his own ears, so he can’t imagine what Matthew must be thinking. Matthew’s face doesn’t betray anything. He mostly looks confused.

“But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you do that to try to knock me off my game? Why would you do it by accident?”

“Knock you off your game?” What is he talking about?

“Yeah!” Matthew says. Now he’s starting to sound kind of angry again. Leon braces himself. “Brady and I figured it out – someone was trying to mess with my play by giving me weird dreams. But you don’t—and you just said you didn’t mean to project it, so—I don’t get it.”

He really doesn’t get it. He has no clue what’s been happening or why it’s all Leon’s fault. Leon is going to have to spell it out, and then go hide in a cave forever. Maybe he should book one of those cruises to Antarctica and forget to get back on the ship at the end.

“Matthew, I wasn’t trying to mess with your game,” Leon says. “I was…I was just imagining. What I wanted. And I guess it was just so strong that it…went to you too. That can happen sometimes even when you don’t mean to do it.”

“What you wanted.”

“I’m sorry,” Leon whispers. That sick, heavy feeling from last night is back. He’s never been more sorry for anything in his entire life. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t intend for you to find out, certainly not like this. I promise I have it under control. I won’t make things weird again.” He has to look away from Matthew for a second time, can’t bear to see the hate in his eyes when he tears Leon to pieces.

But that’s not what happens.

After what might be thirty seconds or an hour, Matthew’s feet appear in his line of vision.

“You’re an idiot.”

When Leon looks up, Matthew kisses him.

[serpentineshine]

Letters A, K, J, and P?

Yippee! Thank you tumblr mutual starredforlife <3 Oh boy, D&D NPC time, this post might be a bit of a long one… I may not be the best explanatory writer right now, but I tried. :’)

Alba Elûmoine (World Setting: Trita, Deltarra, Other)

A is pretty easy since Alba is a beloved recurring NPC of mine. Alba Elûmoine, or stage name “Alba Alabaster”, is a Tiefling with Ice Devil heritage. He’s a cleric, usually of a setting’s moon goddess (Selûne, Deonora, etc.), and is legally blind. He’s typically soft-spoken, polite, and pleasant to talk to, but can be stubborn and brazen if the situation calls for it. Born to be sassy, forced to be classy.😔 It depends on what setting he appears in, but he typically works as a courtesan and often attracts clients wishing to keep their identity a secret(in his early life he makes a lot of extra money blackmailing clients who think he is more blind than he actually is). In settings where he is older and more wealthy he’s an avid collector of magical and historical artifacts and will often hire adventurers to fetch things for him. Love this guy, he’s so fun, I think I’ve had him as a character since maybe like 2018, maybe 2017? Thankfully he’s been very beloved, so I was not short on finding art of him. <3

My most recent sketch of him is with a werewolf, I thought you’d appreciate that info :)

Khovid Va Otsukimi (World Setting: Deltarra)

This is my warning and reminder to all GMs and OC creators to say your characters names out loud, or mid D&D game you might accidentally end up with a character named Covid, even though it’s not spelled the same way... Khovid Va is Elven and a shopkeeper in the city of Ebon'rana. His shop is called “Glasshopper” and he specializes in selling magical weapons. He’s mute and has a large horizontal scar across the front of his neck, as well as a scar across his left cheek by his mouth and right eyebrow. He can do that cool thing where he can write upside down and does that at his counter to communicate with guests (and show off). His fun trivia and secret lore is that he faked his own death and ran away from his noble family in the Feywild because they wanted him to basically become the next leader of the Autumn Court and he couldn’t take the responsibility. Khovid Va is his full first name! He just has a two-part first name. Yes, I created him in 2020, no I did not realize at the time that I named him Covid until it was too late… I don’t have many drawings of him, but here’s a very small old sketch of him.

Jortly (World Setting: Deltarra)

I actually have very few NPCs who have names starting with J so this took me a sec, but then I was reminded of Jortly (thank you hedgie). Jortly is a Tortle monk and a son of one of my player’s characters. Think about combining a turtle with one of those stretchy blue sticky hand toys and that’s basically Jortly. He talks like he’s so worried all the time and his catchphrase is “Oh gosh”.

Phonoko Silverscribe (World Setting: Trita)

Archivist Phonoko Silverscribe is one of the three head mages of the Harmonic Circle Mage’s Association, and right-hand to the High Mage. He’s an older Aarakocra gentleman with a bit of a nervous demeanor. He and his team are in charge of magical archival information for the association as well as he basically keeps everything in order for the other two top archmages. There’s more to him as well, but I have a couple of my players following me here who are playing in this setting right now, so I can’t reveal too much at the moment, he might be a more relevant character at a later time. :)) this drawing and design of him is by @hedgehogofspades!

Oof ok wow that took a while, thank you for the ask!

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

I have jumbled thoughts on WISH looking to fall short of industry projections, its low CinemaScore grade, its low chances at scoring a great multiplier that helps it climb, and Disney's overall bad film year - on their centennial no less.

The success of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3, the excellent legs ELEMENTAL scored after such a poor opening weekend, and how well THE LITTLE MERMAID did domestically tells me everything I need to know, I feel.

GUARDIANS VOL. 3 had a solid opening for an MCU sequel, down a bit from what VOL. 2 pulled in back in 2017, but still good. Legs carried it past $350m+ domestically, and it made over $845m worldwide. It's probably my favorite MCU movie in a while, and it resonated for a lot of other people, too. Can't say the same about MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS, LOVE AND THUNDER, QUANTUMANIA, and THE MARVELS. The Marvel Cinematic Universe is now a mess of rushed movies that are either homework or you have to do homework in order to keep up with them, GUARDIANS VOL. 3 not so much. I extend this to last autumn's BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER as well.

ELEMENTAL, like most of the recent films overseen by current Pixar leader Pete Docter, told a personal story in a fun, appealing, and visually stunning way. Despite existing next to other family films in a crowded June/July, ELEMENTAL grew some serious legs and did really good overseas. I'm confident LUCA and TURNING RED, had they been released theatrically in a world where COVID-19 never happened, would've done pretty darn well. LIGHTYEAR is the anomaly here, the rare Pixar film that audiences just didn't take a liking to. But I can't hold it against Pixar, Docter lets these filmmakers make the movie they see fit, and sometimes in the world of the arts... It's not going to sit well with everybody. Luckily, ELEMENTAL had a real rebound and nearly made 2 1/2x its posted budget.

THE LITTLE MERMAID got by on being almost beat for beat a redo of a beloved animated feature in Disney's library, and it also helps that some of the actors did a pretty solid job. (I haven't seen the film, only bits and pieces at my movie theater job. I'm not into these remakes.) While this movie couldn't cover its costs worldwide, as it had a hard time in certain large markets, it still did pretty great here.

But I think Marvel, Disney Studios (as in the end that does all the live-action and CG tech demo movies), and Walt Disney Animation Studios are in need of some course correction. I get the sense that the latter two arms of Disney's massive film machine aren't really letting filmmakers make the movies they want to make... But rather making the films for them, and someone steps in to do the job. That's also pretty much the case with Marvel, but sometimes they let a director do what they want. Sometimes. James Gunn got more freedom on VOL. 3, and Ryan Coogler got a lot of say on WAKANDA FOREVER.

Pixar feels the most free of the divisions to me, outside of 20th Century Studios and Searchlight. I feel their recent animated offerings have more of a voice and a personality, they feel like their filmmakers' own creations. Everything from LUCA to ELEMENTAL, all these post-Lasseter movies. I'm not really getting this kind of thing from the Disney Animation films made under Jennifer Lee's leadership, and given how audiences reacted to STRANGE WORLD and WISH (as in, those who actually saw them), I suspect audiences aren't, either. Are their movies being noted to death by upper management? That FROZEN II documentary did reveal that these films are test screened for toddlers, and then stuff is cut out to make things less intense. As if they are sanding off the edges of a perfectly fine piece of furniture.

Maybe it's not villains and such that people missed in Disney animated films of late. Maybe they weren't upset at twists or whatever...

... but rather, they were not too fond of writing that feels like it got doctored relentlessly into being FROZEN 6.0, and also the lack of bite and that classic sense of danger that complimented the magic and "warm fuzzies" quite nicely in the more beloved Disney animated movies. You think Walt Disney gave two craps about the angry letters he got from parents over the frightening moments in SNOW WHITE and PINOCCHIO? If a Disney film has to be a little scary and intense, it should be. I don't understand this new thing where they hold back. Look at how warmly received DreamWorks' PUSS IN BOOTS sequel was last year; a good helping of some scary stuff for the kids in the audience should only help it do better, so long as everything else adds up.

(Note: "Warm fuzzies" was something a friend of mine, a fellow Disney enthusiast named Jim Miles came up with, and I use that phrasing quite a lot!)

The horizon for both studios is curious. Pixar's next is a guaranteed hit with INSIDE OUT 2, it's ELIO that's the more curious one. It'll be Pixar's 2nd-ever post-outbreak theatrical release of an original animated movie. WDAS' next is unknown, and they have ZOOTOPIA 2 and FROZEN III on the horizon, both of which sure to cover any recent losses. Maybe WDAS-2024 shows a change in direction, maybe it's another round of what STRANGE WORLD and WISH had to offer. Maybe it'll be taken back and retooled if WISH comes up short? There will likely be a much needed strike for animation when the Animation Guild can make that happen in mid-2024, so maybe we won't be seeing that very film next year. Stuff will likely be pushed back again, for a strike that NEEDED to happen. Maybe some self-reflection and strikes will do this studio good, they seem to be in a funk.

And in live-action land, you would think a new HAUNTED MANSION movie with that kind of cast (well, except for Jared Leto, yuck) and a rare-for-Disney PG-13 rating would be an all-timer, right? Big flop. Massive budget, probably noted to death, too. If not, then... Decisions were made, and audiences just didn't care for them unfortunately. The remakes, even the ones that make good money at the box office, are largely agreed to be stinkers. Audiences may have flocked to most of them, but if they weren't based on beloved movies... How would they have done? And what's next? A LION KING prequel that I'm certain won't make much of a stir, a delayed and iffy-looking SNOW WHITE remake that I feel will also have trouble at the box office... And more animated movie-based pictures, and some theme park ones maybe. They've run out of classics to remake, so now they're trying theme parks again. They keep trying to get this TRON-in-name-only movie off the ground that's not a sequel to TRON: LEGACY and doesn't involve anyone from the previous two films. And they're doing sequels/prequels to the remakes. But as we saw with ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS and MALEFICENT 2, that's not a guarantee. People came to see the car they loved with a new coat of paint, not a similar car made afterwards.

So, I think Marvel, Disney Studios, and WDAS are at a similar point to where the Disney enterprise was in the early-to-mid 1970s. Maybe even into the early 1980s...

Above: This logo, for the enterprise's 50th anniversary in 1973, would show up before the films released that year... Presumably, the Buena Vista distribution title card would follow. It does not appear on home video editions of the Disney films released that year. i.e. ROBIN HOOD, CHARLEY AND THE ANGEL, etc.

I think this is all telling me that some audiences aren't necessarily upset at what kinds of stories Disney is choosing to tell, but are instead a bit unsatisfied with the way they are telling those stories. That merely the reliance on brand names and what worked a decade ago is not enough anymore:

I think about where Disney was by around 1975-76, inching up on a decade without Walt Disney, and a few years after Roy O. Disney's passing... And it looks as if Walt Disney Productions at the time were delivering what was guaranteed to be successful... In 1965...

You had cheaply-made kid-friendly comedies starring TV mainstays and often times they co-starred an animal (THE BAREFOOT EXECUTIVE, MILLION DOLLAR DUCK, GUS, take your pick), you had standard adventure movies (such as TREASURE OF MATECUMBE and THE ISLAND AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD), you had the occasional long live-action musical with animated scenes in them (BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS, PETE'S DRAGON), and the occasional animated feature film that was always directed by Wolfgang Reitherman and had that same lazy vibe that he'd been employing since THE SWORD IN THE STONE a decade ago...

You look at what Disney had to offer on the movie front from around 1969-1976, and it's like backwash from the early 1960s, and what worked back then... Interestingly, it was the animated movies that continued to do well during that period, contrary to popular belief. But nothing was a massive blockbuster domestically, on the level of 101 DALMATIANS or THE JUNGLE BOOK...

So, again, I think of Disney's output roughly 1967-1979... And I see what's coming out now as backwash from 2013-16. Guaranteed smash hit movies - Marvel superhero spectacles, remakes of animated classics, FROZEN-esque family movies... no longer foolproof. Pixar looks to be weathering this just fine, even if this timeline did not see LUCA and TURNING RED hit theaters nationwide. I still reckon those would've been big, big hits in a not-COVID world. How ELEMENTAL did tells me everything.

There was one lucky arm of Disney that somewhat avoided all of this... STAR WARS...

STAR WARS is largely just streaming shows now. There hasn't been a feature film since THE RISE OF SKYWALKER back in 2019. SOLO was the first movie in the whole franchise to actually lose money at the box office, the lowest-grossing film remains that very cheap CLONE WARS theatrical pilot movie. I feel SOLO lost money simply because the director change and subsequent refilming of almost the whole damn thing ballooned the budget, and there's only so many people you can drag to a Han Solo origin movie when a Wikipedia article is right there. Releasing it so soon after THE LAST JEDI didn't help, either. STAR WARS movies aren't MCU movies, I think you kinda need to let those sit for a little while. SOLO, I think, would've probably done better if it had been a Christmas 2018 release. Not the May right after LAST JEDI's December 2017 bow. Disney plans to release two new STAR WARS features in 2026, and well... Good luck with that. The new STAR WARS movies will be a test, to see if audiences will keep showing up for these movies. They aren't even entries in a new trilogy, so there's that.

Lucasfilm did do a new INDIANA JONES movie that did disastrously. Maybe audiences just weren't down for another adventure with Indy, maybe the market was a little too crowded, maybe those who saw it just didn't take to a Spielberg-less Indy movie. (Not a dig on James Mangold, but maybe audiences felt his absence?) Maybe it just cost too fucking much... Lucasfilm seems to just be "Star Wars Studios" now. They lost the rights to the book CHILDREN OF BLOOD AND BONE, which they were supposed to adapt. They've barely made any live-action movies that *aren't* STAR WARS or INDIANA JONES on a consistent basis since RADIOLAND MURDERS all the way back in 1994. Like, what did they make between '94 and now that wasn't part of those huge franchises? RED TAILS, and an animated movie called STRANGE MAGIC. Both of which bombed... But I will be fair to Lucasfilm, a good chunk of the not-SW/Indy movies of the late '80s/early '90s also flopped.

Speaking of that... I also feel that Disney should probably invest in lower budget movies again? Not necessarily "cheap" stuff, but lower budget stuff that's more experimental and more creative? Not the kinds of movies that they can send straight to streaming, but small little movies that do okay in theaters and sorta help build a back catalogue for them. Why wasn't something like CRATER a theatrical release?

One of Disney's biggest live-action successes, a looooong time ago, was HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS. Produced for $18m, grossed over $200m worldwide and spawned some sequels. Did you know that movie actually outgrossed THE LITTLE MERMAID that same year? That's right, in 1989, HONEY made more money than MERMAID... Which film do you think is better remembered?

Anyways, what ended up happening after Disney's weird era after Walt's passing? In the late '70s and early '80s, they genuinely tried to experiment and redefine what a "Disney movie" could be, but a lot of it went south. TRON was probably the most successful of these experiments, but even that didn't measure up to expectations. Touchstone was set up, and they hit the ground running with SPLASH in 1984, and had quite a few successes into the late '80s... Films like THREE MEN AND A BABY and GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM. But that was Touchstone... Mainline Disney was where things needed to be happenin'...

And they weren't really... THE BLACK CAULDRON, THE JOURNEY OF NATTY GANN, ONE MAGIC CHRISTMAS, they were all coming up short. The little bit of respite came from efforts like FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR and THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE, smaller-budget productions that made their money back.

Eventually, the tides changed, and it was time to make movies that took the audience by surprise.

While it was released under the Touchstone banner in 1988, I'd say WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT was the movie that really got the ball rolling... And then that would be followed by OLIVER & COMPANY, HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS, THE LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, etc. All of which reversed course for the studio's film output. You couldn't convince anyone over the age of 12 to check out a "Disney" movie in theaters five years earlier in 1983, but by the beginning of the '90s, you had all the demographics showing up to some of their films...

Maybe that's what Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures will discover again in this weird post-outbreak, post-streaming world. They've hit this wall before, and they've gotten over it...

Maybe it's time for them to take a daring leap and make a proverbial new ROGER RABBIT-type movie that makes a Disney movie neat and worth checking out in the theaters again...

AND ALSO, TO TREAT THEIR FILMMAKERS AND STAFF BETTER, but that's another story.

[conkreetmonkey]

How does Sakurai keep aging backwards??

Watching the latest Masahiro Sakurai YouTube video and

how does this man keep aging backwards. He looks significantly younger now than he did when I was watching his Smash Ultimate reveal videos a few years ago. I'm actually comparing videos now and it's not just me misremembering what he looked like back then, he legitimately looked a decade older in his Smash for 3DS/Wii U videos compared to today. How does he do it?

Now, these example images are far from perfect, I wasn't planning on making this post so this is kind of a quickie. Still, am I crazy, or does Sakurai look far younger today than he did 4 years ago? (I'm aware the quality of the modern photo is far better than the first, but the hat's not on me there; the Smash Bros videos just had less resolution than is seen now on Sakurai's personal YT channel. Weird.)

I've noticed a few distinct ways in which he looks significantly better now:

His skin looks noticeably more youthful. His laugh lines seem to have all but vanished, and his face appears to have significantly more healthy colour to it. The difference appears slight in this photo comparison, but in some older videos from the 3DS/Wii U era it's much clearer. He looks significantly less pale now, and any lines that were present on his face have seemingly disappeared.

This one is more obvious: his eyebags are gone! He's clearly sleeping far better now. The difference is night and day.

Again, not too noticeable from the pictures given, but Sakurai's hair seems to be smoother, glossier and darker than it used to be. Perhaps he's dyed it or is using different products now, but it looks far healthier and youthful now, and that's not even to say it looked bad before. He's always had great hair (and has never been bad-looking in any field), but it's really shining nowadays.

idk why I'm even making this post. In all likelihood, he's just far less stressed nowadays without Smash Ultimate and Covid to worry about. Still, I think it was worth pointing out. Masahiro Sakurai looks phenomenal. Again, not to imply he's ever looked bad. He's always been, in my opinion at least, quite an attractive man. I also understand that this post may come across as creepy or obsessed, but I haven't watched any Sakurai content since high school, in which my friend group was heavily Smash-oriented and we kept up with the development and new character additions like other men do sports. In an unorthodox way, Masahiro Sakurai was a huge part of my teenage years. I idolized him back then, and I'd still consider him a man worth looking up to; his passion for his craft is damn near unmatched. If every big name gave developer cared as much about the art they were creating as Sakurai, the entire gaming scene would be so, so much better.

This is an appreciation post, I suppose, as well as just me being happy a guy I followed closely a few years ago now seems to be doing better than ever. I get that he was and still is a multimillionaire, but back in the day he was working himself to the bone. I mean, passing out at work, winding up in the hospital, and then going right back to work with a IV drip in his arm?? He's clearly worked extremely, unhealthily hard to gain his wealth. I'm glad he's visibly less stressed out nowadays, and austounded at how much better he looks. There's graceful aging, and then there's Masahiro Sakurai. He's 52, and works like a coked-out mule with a sick kid at home and a debt to the mob, yet despite all this I wouldn't think he's a day over 30. You fucking go, Sakurai.

[blogtaculous]

I read The Deep by Nick Cutter and I have some thoughts. I’m also going to spoil the shit out of the whole thing.

The first 100 pages are almost sublime. I couldn’t read fast enough. The world literally falling apart from the seams from the disease feels so real. People are just losing the ability to be human and everyone else is trying to carry on like normal. It feels eerily prescient considering it was published years before the same thing would happen during the first heights of Covid-19. The Disease itself is very cool, and only teased at (eventually it’s revealed that it’s basically Colony Collapse Disorder in humans, but the cause and transmission are not explained), but for the first 100 or so pages it feels like it’s going to be a dynamite reveal (it won’t be) and it’s so exciting.

The characters are interesting and the conflicts as initially presented are memorable and even fun. The terror of the deepest depths is so visceral, and the backstory lore teases are well done.

Unfortunately, it fucking unravels fast.

The things I liked:

- Luke’s son vanishes and has not been seen for years. It’s spooky and haunting, a parent’s worst nightmare. The conflicts that arise from that aftermath feel grounded and it is a good bedrock of terror that’s much more real than, say, being 8 miles underwater and having hallucinations.

- Luke’s mom is evil, and at the start she truly feels like the actual antagonist, the 11th hour see, she was the real horror all along, and the delight she takes in being awful was good. She sucks but it made for good reading. This will change later.

- The technical details feel grounded enough to make you think that a research base in the Mariana Trench could be possible. The Ambrosia, also, is well introduced and seems like a neat macguffin that will play a cool part in the story to come. It’s just sinister enough to get the ball rolling, and I was really looking forward to more.

- The body horror was (mostly) very good. Sick, twisted, and flirted with The Line enough to be fun instead of just uncomfortable. I was squirming in a few sections. Alice’s body being incorporated into the evil beehive and her face peeled open and birthing some monster was a highlight, but the scars upon scars corpse was also good.

And now… The Bad

- Killing the dog for shock value is stupid, and it’s also stupid to draw out that entire incident into like four pages.

- Luke’s mom is revealed to have sexually assaulted his older brother numerous times, and then he poisons her to death. This is how the story acknowledges Luke’s brother is a psychopath. It wasn’t the unspeakable experiments be performed on animals, or how he didn’t care for anyone else on earth, or how he tried to make deals with extradimensional evil… it was when he killed his abuser, a Good and Right thing to do.

- The plot just fucking derails. It does this in two ways. First, the actual plot doesn’t take very long once Luke and Alice (I’m not calling her Al) get to the Trieste so the length is padded out with an absolutely insane number of dreams and flashbacks. They exist to feature some creepy imagery, but most of it has no bearing on the plot or characters. And they’re long! Let’s talk about the goddamn tickle trunk, as an example.

What is the tickle trunk? The short answer is it’s a fairly innocuous toy box with some clowns on it that Luke’s abusive mother forces into his bedroom. That’s it. Does she use it as a torture device? No. It literally just sits in his room and is vaguely creepy. The worst part about it is that while Luke is having his little dream-flashback about it Alice is also having one… about half of a corpse of a submariner she worked with in the Navy plaguing her with guilt about his death. Which do you think would make a better spook? The box, or animated bloated corpse? Like… come on. Alice is like “wow I had this horrible dream about this gross dead body chasing me with my own guilt” and I had to sit there and think about how instead of diving into that I was reading about a toy box.

I’ll bring this toy box up later, don’t worry.

Other bad flashbacks include Luke gathering frogs for his scientist brother and seeing a spook in a gated tunnel and anything to do with the “millipede.”

And second, the Big Reveal sucks. I’m just gonna dive in because it’s so bad.

Ambrosia is a tease to get humans to build a research base in the Mariana Trench. Why? Because two extra dimensional beings of terror have been banished there. Most egregiously, how do we know this? Because they literally fucking sit Luke in a chair and explain the entire thing like a fucking Scooby-Doo villain. The entire scene reeks of Dumbledore talking to not-quite-dead Harry fucking Potter. It’s so fucking bad. And the worst part is these motherfuckers somehow planned the whole fucking thing. There were three researchers on the base, and all of them were specifically groomed by the baddies to be there so they could manipulate them into going looney so that Luke could be brought down there to free them. That’s right, Luke was a Chosen One all along.

It’s further revealed that the monster in the tickle trunk and the gated tunnel were real the whole time. The extra dimensional horrors, despite being banished 8 miles under the ocean for being evil can force project monsters to terrorize people. They do this to slowly torture all the researchers their whole lives to lead them to the Trieste. In fact, they fucking kidnapped Luke’s son.

I cannot begin to describe what a stupid thing this was, and how fucking stupid it was for the extra dimensional horrors to just flat out explain it to Luke like it was a college lecture.

Like, what even keeps these motherfuckers down there if they can so easily do all this? They also reveal the following complete bullshit:

- The Disease was a happy coincidence for their plot. Just background noise. Shrug!

- All the torture and dreams and bla bla bla was just for fun. To quote the extra dimensional horrors: “For fun. And games.”

That’s right, literally less interesting than fucking Jigsaw. Just for funnies. Jokes, even. Their presence, often described as curious, was just silliness. They already knew everything there was to know and were just having a ball.

All right, so prior to Luke being soft-captured to witness this monologue of total garbage, he had grabbed some Go To Sleep medicine (that he knew how to administer since he was a veterinarian) and it just sat in his pocket. He didn’t use it to spare the dog from being Assimilated into evil, or to spare Alice from her ecstasy of pain and suffering, so when he gets captured I’m thinking “okay, here it comes, this is important.”

The extra dimensional horrors reveal that they’ve kept Luke’s son “safe” (he’s a monster now, by the way) and they want Luke to merge his consciousness with it. They explicitly tell him they need him to do this and that it will help them escape to the surface to bring horror and madness. I smiled, “Aha! Luke will use his Go To Sleep chemicals to kill himself, preserving life on earth and rejecting the Thing That Is Not His Son, showing how he has grown and healed.” I was confident in this assessment because Luke literally tells the bad guy that he won’t do it. He knows that this monster isn’t really his son and he’s ready to die.

NOPE!!!!! !!!! !!1! That motherfucker does it! He just fucking merges with Not Zach and lets them out. No big moment, no deep breath, no clarity. Just “yeah I guess.” So what happens? The unholy amalgamation of Luke, his son, and two extradimensional horrors goes to the surface in the only submarine and they get out. The last line is like “what emerged was unspeakable” but what I thought was unspeakable was how fucking stupid this plot was!!!!!!

Read the first 100 or so pages then chuck it in a bin.

[doberbutts]

@hikko-g

Because that post is already long enough, a condensed timeline for how my doctor was able to put things together and figure out that I’m intersex:

I brought a lot of evidence that I’ve been gathering for the past 5 or 6 years and then asked her to look into it, because I found out by complete surprise after thinking maybe I had PCOS or endo that I might actually be intersex instead. How did I find that out?

I had an ovarian cyst I didn’t know about burst and the pain was so severe that my face turned a light grey color (and I’m black so that is... Not A Great Sign) and I collapsed to the floor in the middle of my shift, and it was in the right spot for my appendix to have burst, so my job immediately sent me to the ER because if your appendix ruptures you either get surgery or die. Pre-op bloodwork revealed that my appendix is Fine Actually, so they did an ultrasound and discovered one very upset ovary covered in cystic scarring [bastard] and one ovary that very much did not look like an ovary but did look like an undescended testicle sitting where an ovary should be.

Which I took directly to my mother who proceeded to tell me “oh we’ve known about that since you were born”. WELL IDK WHO “WE” IS BECAUSE I WAS VERY NOT INCLUDED IN THAT DISCUSSION

She linked me to a study on CAH- Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia- which according to her the doctor told her I very likely had when I was born, which she deliberately kept from me because she was afraid it would make me want to be a boy. That was right before I moved to this state so about 5.5ish years ago. I have been working with PCPs and OBGYNs since trying to figure this shit out and at the end of the day I was told to go to an endo armed with all of these “well have you ruled out-” and “could it have been-” dead ends.

My endo looked at the evidence I provided and the medical records ruling out the more common stuff, did a brief physical exam of my body, and went “yeah probably”, did a quick blood test, and as the results trickled in over the next week she went “yeah that’s it all right”.

The specific things she was testing for were: baseline levels of estrogens and androgens [needed for HRT anyway], cortisol levels, and special tests for the components of cortisol as well as what people with CAH make instead of cortisol that the body converts into androgens. What do you know, my estrogen levels are at or below post-menopausal despite me definitely having periods, my testosterone is juuuuuuuuuuust touching the low end for a cis man, There Is No Cortisol Here, and I have a lot of loose ends my body should be turning into cortisol but is actively choosing not to do that and to turn it into androgens instead. So, that pretty much sealed the deal.

As for my ovary vs testicle problem- that is still a mystery and honestly one that will be resolved hopefully next year when I have the damned thing removed. My OBGYN looked at the images from that ER visit and went “yeah that sure doesn’t look like an ovary” but then on her own ultrasound said that it could be deformity or even a benign tumor causing the weird shape and so without actually seeing it outside of my body it will be hard to determine either way. CAH does not inherently do this- most people with Nonclassical CAH have perfectly normal internal genitals, but a study did discover that a non-insignificant number do have some form of mixed genital presentation either externally or internally, so it’s hard to say either way.

This was not a quick process but I do have to say that it would have been slightly faster had COVID not happened, as I was all lined up to start this process mid-2020 and then March Happened. And then things kept happening and I lost my health insurance and I just got it back. So instead of taking 5 or 6 years it would have been 3 or 4. Still not a fast process tbh.

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[thescaliforniagentleman]

Self-Identifying as a Gentleman

I recently had a terse conversation with an unpleasant, naïve, inexperienced and narrow minded young midwestern girl who was extremely opinionated and who believed she knew just about everything in the world there was to be learned. As I grew up in Indiana and went to college there myself, I know what a backwards, myopic, tiny little rural redneck state it truly is. I tried to explain that just because an older man identifies as a Gentleman (was raised that way, acts that way, raised his own son that way), does not instantaneously make him some kind of charlatan. Instead of respecting my point of view, she openly mocked it on her own little tumblr blog, before I had the foresight to make "reblog by no one" a pre-condition setting for the post.

So I will post the excerpt here, of my explanation to little miss know-it-all, as I believe it is succinct and impactful. She'll likely never see it, and that's fine with me - in fact, I prefer it that way, as she's proven herself to be an intractable termagant shrew.

---- see below ----

For the naïve, inexperienced, impudent and opinionated here who say: “I don’t think real gentleman pride themselves on being a self proclaimed gentleman” (@name withheld, so as not to shame the stubbornly narrow minded original commenter) I pose the following questions:

1. were you raised in a home where your father was a consummate gentleman? (and shown an example, held to a standard, daily)

2. Did you also raise a son as a gentleman, who had such a positive impact on his community that at his funeral wake with more than 1500 distanced & mask wearing mourners during the Covid pandemic that dozens of strangers told you how they were your son’s best friend, and how he helped them change their life for the better?

3. When you see your physician, does that person have “Dr.” before their name? How do you know who they are & what are their qualifications?

4. Do any of your LGBTQ+ friends have or fly a rainbow flag, or include it in their correspondence occasionally with you?

5. If you follow a cat blog, is there the word “cat” or “feline” in the blog name that you follow? How did you recognise it as a cat blog?

Anyone can call themselves a gentleman, but sadly, very few of us actually are. Similar to how +95% of the “daddies” on tumblr are really just abusive predators who prey upon little girls; the vast majority of them were never shown how to be and never learned how to be a gentleman, a daddy, or a good citizen, nor will they ever be.

Being a gentleman goes to character. Character, that which is revealed when no one is watching. That which is demonstrated when there is no advantage or reciprocation needed, wanted, nor expected from those in need. Gentlemen understand kindness, helping those in need, and standing up against the immoral, reprehensible, selfish, narcissistic and those that are evil. Gentlemen understand being gentle and tender, as well as being capable of being extremely violent with overwhelming precision and effectiveness when necessary as a last resort. It took me several decades, and the ascent of demagogues into power, to realize how few gentlemen are left in the world.

So for the naïve & inexperienced who prematurely misjudge, belittle and dismiss those who identify as a “gentleman” as charlatans in a Potemkin Village, it would be better if they looked at the person’s character, the theme of their posts here, the content of their conversations, how they treat others, evaluate their character, before leaping to the premature and inaccurate conclusion that gentlemen never identify themselves as gentlemen. 🙄 In a world of swipes and clicks, where decisions and dismissals are made in less than a few seconds, rapid differentiation is not straightforward nor accurate when one’s constrained, inexperienced & narrow minded paradigm is applied.

SCalGentleman

[adultswim2021]

The Drinky Crow Show #8: “Elephant Man” | January 5, 2009 - 12:15AM | S01E07

This is one of the few episodes of Drinky Crow that I remember watching on television. I liked this one fine, but I didn’t really have a dramatically different take on it this time around. You know, the kind of dramatically different take that might, MIGHT, make a crapped-out write-up on a bad blog really sparkle.

Drinky calls the suicide hotline and makes a friend in the Elpehant Man, who works the Suicide Hotline. Drinky seduces Elephant Man to his suicidal worldview, and the two start hanging out without Gabby doing “suicide stuff”. Gabby steals the Elephant Man away out of jealousy and uses him to get pussy. Elephant Man now has a boost in confidence, which makes him decide to get “the surgery”. I mean, plastic surgery, to make him look pretty.

Turns out Drinky, without Gabby, has turned his life around to such a degree that he’s the surgeon. Gabby begs him to throw the surgery, which is being viewed by an audience. After a difficulty arrises, Gabby encourages Drinky to fall off the wagon, and tosses him a bottle of hooch as if it’s Popeye’s spinach. Gabby acts as his nurse even, while triumphant music plays. The pair walk away, pleased with the miracle they just worked. The episode ends with the grim reveal that they just mangled his body into pieces and that the Elephant Man is now dead.

Despite having seen this before, it does move in a surprising way. This show performs absurdist plots pretty well, and it’s well documented that that’s the “sort of stuff I like”. I think I laughed once out loud, which is pretty good all things considered. Okay, jokes I liked: 

Both Gabby and Elephant Man’s utterances of “I thought you said this guy was fun” (when Elephant Man tells Gabby he doesn’t drink and when Gabby tells Elephant Man he’s not suicidal, respectively). 

Drinky at an opium den but at the end of his hookah is just a bottle of liquor.

The reveal that Drinky is a surgeon is funny, but it’s explained by the fact that he’s been away from Gabby’s no-good influence. I preferred the initial impact of the joke, where I thought Drinky was just casually revealing that he’s been a surgeon this whole time.

There is a small part of the episode where it's revealed that Elephant Man has a hot mom who it's implied she's in an inappropriate sexual relationship with. I left this out of my write-up, because the only thing I thought during this reveal was "lucky!" and I would rather not unpack that.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Frisky Dingo - Season Two DVD (January 6, 2009)

Frisky Dingo Season Two came out, which is nice, because it’s better than season one. This release was fairly bare, except for the inclusion of a promo for the DVD release itself and an EXCLUSIVE SHORT (which you can find on youtube) that bridges the gap between Frisky Dingo and the then-thought-to-be-upcoming Xtacles series. What actually happened is the two episodes of Xtacles aired as a special, and then later this came out.

The DVD was likely produced to come out before The Xtacles, back when the plan was to actually make a full season. It seems like a shameful missed opportunity that the two Xtacles shorts couldn’t have found a home on this volume. I just want some decent-looking copies of them online.

MAIL BAG: 

Been sick. Managed to build up a queue to keep Space Ghost Week going through the holidays. Didn’t foresee myself getting sick immediately after Thanksgiving was over. Don’t know how it happened. Nobody else I spent time with got sick. I even threw up a whole bunch one night. That sucks! You’re not supposed to puke! You’re not supposed to be sick at all. Not covid. Got to take two days off work. Luckily I'm all better, and get to go to work now, a place where I physically can't watch movies all day. What fun!

i can think of one joke you cribbed from kids in the hall, if i remember scott thompson is in a bear costume when he says it

Spiritually I’m more quoting the other guy in the sketch–HEY WAIT

ugh joey fatone. awful.

His voice is even bad. He just seems like a guy who doesn’t understand how sweaty he is, and he keeps trying to sit next to you and he even puts his head in your lap at one point. Joey Fatone... HANG UP THE STUFF.

[helliontherapscallion]

I'm sorry for adding on to your pile of requests but I just wanted some family fluff with sbi where all of the siblings are having fun on a road trip or vacation

I don't know if that's specific enough for you if you want a little more detail maybe they're just being really dumb and making stupid videos with each other because that's something my sister and I do a lot

(A/N): I hope you don’t mind that I added Kristin and Tubbo (BASED ON THE CHARACTERS, NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE). Real life AU btw (no covid tho)

Okokok so this is deadass something Philza and Kristin is both dreading and looking forward to

1. They love spending time with their family especially now since yall are getting older and don’t spend as much time together anymore/getting ready to fly the coop

2. Have you met the SBI fam? Chaos incarnated.

After packing, yall set out on your trip to the hotel yall rented for a week or so (about an eight hour drive away from the house)

You and your twin Tommy 100% smuggle Tubbo underneath all of the luggage and a blanket

You’ll just ask them for forgiveness when you’re about halfway through

It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission 

Wilbur and Technoblade catching you hiding the stowaway and blackmailing you both into doing their chores for a few week 

Seating: Phil and Kristin in the front, Tech and Wil in the middle, You and Tommy in the back, and Tubbo in the trunk (it’s a mom van)

Before getting too far into the trip, a gas station is raided for snacks and drinks

Philza raising a brow at the amount of food you and Tommy get 

Philza’s eyes were torn off from the refrigerator in front of him by his wife lightly nudging him. Looking at her in question, she raised her eyebrows and pointed at their youngest kids. It looked like they were just looking at the Monster drinks, so why- oh god the last thing he needed was two already hyper teenagers hopped up on Monster trapped in a car for eight hours. Before he could go over there to stop them, Kristin grabbed his arm. 

“They’re up to something. Listen to what they’re saying.”

He strained his ears to hear what you both are whispering to each other. “...e like this flavor?”

Tommy shrugged, “I dunno. I’ll text him.”

As Tommy texted someone, Phil looked back at his wife. She wore a similar wary expression as they both stared at each other. He nodded in confirmation, “definitely. How do you reckon we confront them?”

He watched as his wife thought for a moment before she sighed and looked at him with a hint of excitement in her eyes, “let’s wait to see. It might be a pleasant surprise.” 

“What? Are you mad?” He eyed his youngest gremlins once more. It seemed that they finally decided on a flavor and are now moving on to the snack portion. He looked back at his wife and felt his heart skip a beat at the small grin on her face. “...fine. Let’s just see what they’re doing after they do it.” Oh, the things he does for love.

He kept a very close eye on you two after that 

You both are on your phones for longer than usual

Texting Tubbo so that he wasn’t lonely 

Tubbo has fun with hiding too, never being bored at all

The only thing that he (and you and Tommy) struggled with was holding in his laughter

You jumped as you felt someone gently slap your shoulder. Turning around, you saw Tubbo’s hand peeking over the backs of the seats. You glanced at your parents in the front seats, they were deep in conversation. Good. You saw Tommy stifle a laugh and pull out his phone to record. 

Tubbo made grabby hands at something but you didn’t know what he wanted, so you decided to mess with him a bit. Smirking, you put your earbuds in his hand. It snaked back underneath the blanket before he threw it back at you and did more intense grabby hands. You put your metal water bottle in his hand. He did the same thing before he threw it back at you. It collided with your forehead with a loud bong sounding throughout the car. Tommy started to laugh loudly and ended the video. You followed suit in the laughter as Tubbo’s hand froze midair and quickly slinked back into his lair.

All noise in the car came to a halt as they all looked behind them (well, Phil glanced through the rearview mirror suspiciously) to see you and Tommy laughing your asses off with you holding your forehead. Through blurred vision, you could see Kristin looking at you with worry and Techno and Wilbur looking confused and mildly annoyed.

“(Y/n) honey are you alright? What happened?” You opened your mouth to respond, but only wheezes came out making you laugh harder. You could hear Tubbo silently cackling to himself in the back, the blanket shaking slightly. Without being able to speak, you only nodded your head and gave her a thumbs up. 

Tommy sent the video into the siblings' group chat and you could see over Wilbur’s shoulder as he watched it before starting to cackle and save the video to his phone. Even Techno got a good chuckle out and saved it to his phone making Phil and Kristin even more suspicious. Well, Kristin was just excited for what you two (four? Was Techno and Wilbur in on it as well?) had planned. Phil could just imagine the chaotic things you had planned. And he did not like what came to his mind.

When the rest stop came eventually (about three hours into the trip), you all left the car to stretch your legs and take care of business

Taking separate ways to walk in pairs (same person they sat next to in the car)

You and Tommy wait until Phil and Kristin leave before getting Tubbo out of the trunk

You three vibe walking along the winding sidewalks for a bit before you come back to the car and get Tubbo back into the trunk

You, however, forgot to use the bathroom so you leave Tommy and Tubbo in the car 

“Fuck, I forgot to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“Be quick, I’m not fuckin telling em if we forget you.”

“Pfft, they won’t forget me. Stop joking around.”

With that, you left the car and made a beeline to the bathroom. After that, you went back to the car. Well, where the car was supposed to be. There was no sight of a van anywhere in the parking lot. That asshole, he just let them drive off? He and Tubbo’s probably giggling to themselves in the backseat like school girls. You were only gone for like eight minutes. 

Sighing, you walked over to a nearby bench and sat down, pulling up Techno’s contact and calling him. 

He picked up after a few rings. The second you heard the dial tone stop, you spoke to him, “check the backseat.”

“What? You’re taking a nap, why’re you calling me I’m literally right in front of you.”

“Just fuckin check, Tech.”

In the background, you could hear Tommy snickering to himself. You heard some rustling before Techno started laughing, “Dad, we left (y/n) at the rest stop.”

“YEAH YA FUCKIN DID!” 

You could hear loud laughter from your brothers and muffled cursing from Phil. You heard Kristin tell Techno to hand her the phone. 

“We’re so sorry, we’re turning around right now. We’ll be there in about five minutes. Stay in one place and don’t talk to strangers.”

“I dunno Mom, that trucker looks really friendly. Might do some hitch hiking with him.”

You ended up befriending an old lady when she sat next to you on the bench with her husband. She even gave you some butterscotch and those strawberry hard candies that all older people somehow have but you can never find in stores. Her husband was telling you stories about his younger days when you saw the familiar van pull into the parking lot. Waving goodbye, you thanked them and hopped back into the car. 

After profuse apologizing from your family and scolding Tommy for tricking them, you were on the road again. You glared at Tommy with a small smile on your face, “you fuckin prick. Did you seriously make it look like I was sleeping under a blanket?”

“Yeah, I told you that I wouldn’t tell them if we forgot you.”

“You fuckin dick,” you grabbed a few butterscotches and strawberry candies and handed some to Tubbo after ensuring your parents weren’t looking. He took them gratefully and quickly. You heard him whisper a ‘thank you’ and opened them with plastic crinkling. 

“Wha- are those butterscotches? Gimme some.” He was about to snatch them out of your hands before you moved away from him. “No, you left me at the rest stop. You don’t get any. Do you guys want some? I’ve got butterscotches and strawberry candies.”

After you handed them out to your family, Phil looked at you confused in the rearview mirror, “(y/n), where’d you get these?”

“Oh, I just made some friends with an old couple while I was waiting.”

“You what? What if they kidnapped you?”

“Naw they couldn’t’ve. Ethel has hip problems and Charles was in a wheelchair. They were chill anyway.”

“...Just- just don’t do that again.” “Well don’t forget me again at a rest stop three hours away from home and you got yourself a deal.” 

After a while the family was chill again and everything was back to normal

It was getting closer and closer to when Tubbo would make his reveal

You three agreed that Tubbo would just wait for the perfect time 

That time came about three hours later when Phil and Kristin was asking everybody where they should stop for food

“So kids, we have three options: McDonalds, Wendy’s, and Arby’s. What do you want?”

“Wendy’s is obviously the superior choice.” Tommy proclaimed and you nodded in agreement. You leaned back and whispered to Tubbo, “now would be a great time.” You pulled out your phone to discreetly record the front seat. 

“No it isn’t. Arby’s is you heathens.” Wilbur chimed in, glancing at his twin for back up. Techno shrugged, “I’m fine with anything as long as it’s edible.”

“I’m more of a fan of Wendy’s myself!” Tubbo’s muffled voice chimed in from his makeshift hut in the trunk. You snickered as Kristin whipped her head around to look at the back seat and Phil’s eyes snapping up to look at you through the rearview mirror. 

“...Tubbo?”

“Hi Mrs. Tommy and (y/n)’s mum!” You flipped the camera around just in time to catch Tubbo poking his head out of the blanket and grin sheepishly at them. You panned over to Tommy’s ruby red face as he was holding in his laughter before flipping it back to the front. 

“You absolute gremlins, this is what you’ve been hiding?” Phil scolded you and Tommy, his knuckles whitening from gripping the steering wheel. You could see his shoulders bouncing slightly with a slight strain in his voice from holding in chuckles. 

“Honey, have you been in the trunk this entire time?” 

“Yeah, but it’s quite comfy back here! Tommy and (y/n) gave me pillows and some snacks. Got some stretching done at the rest stop.”

“You’ve been back there for six hours?” Phil’s incredulous voice asked. 

“Yep! Don’t worry, I had a lot of room. Anyways, my vote goes to Wendy’s.”

The car was quiet before Kristin started to laugh, “Wendy’s it is. See Phil, I told you it was gonna be a pleasant surprise!”

Tubbo sat between you and Tommy in the backseat for the rest of the trip 

Techno and Wilbur saying that they knew Tubbo was back there but left out the blackmail part

There was no way they’d risk losing their little siblings doing their chores for them for a few weeks

At the hotel, the rooming was the same as the seating in the car

You, Tommy, and Tubbo having the time of your lives alone in your hotel room

Jumping on the beds, checking for hidden cameras and double sided mirrors (well, that doesn’t sound fun, but you had fun doing it), truth or dare, racing each other down the halls at night time, the works

B L A N K E T  F O R T S (but always cleaning up the hotel room in the mornings bc yall are respectful to the staff)

Getting plenty of videos of you guys ding dong ditching Techno and Wilbur’s room

Them getting tired of it so they tell Dadza and Momza and they tell you to stop : (

Walking around aimlessly around the hotel hallways with Wilbur and Techno

Going up and down elevators aimlessly 

Pulling an all nighter with Tommy and Tubbo on the last day

Philosophical late night talks when yall hardly know what you’re saying anymore (and becoming closer than ever before)

“Tommy, Tubbo?” You three were currently sitting on the balcony chairs looking out at the empty parking lot and the occasional cars driving by. It was about three in the morning and you guys were determined to stay up all night. “If you think about it, a hotdog is puréed meat in an intestine casing. When we eat the hotdogs, we turn it back into puréed meat. It eventually goes through your intestines which makes you the hotdog for a solid couple of hours.”

“...What the fuck, (y/n).”

“No no, they’ve got a point. Don’t you understand, Tommy? We are hotdogs.”

“...I’m starting to think you guys need sleep. Speakin nonsense.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you two reckon we’re alone in the universe?”

“What do you mean, Tubbo?” You glanced at the male next to you and raised an eyebrow. He was looking up at the stars with furrowed brows. 

“Like, do you guys think there’s life out there. Looking down at us right now wondering the same thing.” 

You hummed and looked up at the stars. They were twinkling down at you with the occasional shooting star blazing by. Red lights from far off satellites being the only visible sign of humans in the dark expanse of space. “I think so. I mean, nobody knows how big the universe is. You never really know.”

“Honestly I don’t know what’s scarier, being the only lifeforms and being completely alone or having things out there that we don’t know about.” 

You sling an arm over your twin’s shoulders, “that doesn’t matter. As long as we have each other, we’ll never be alone. We’ll face whatever the universe has in store for us together.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know, I just hate it when people only see me as the loud annoying one. It really gets to me sometimes and I don’t know what I should do about it. Fuck, even Wil and Tech see me like that.”

“Toms, fuck them. They don’t know you like we do. You’re caring, ambitious, and brave.” 

“Yeah, don’t listen to what they say. We’ll prove them wrong when we form our own nation one day.”

Tommy’s sullen expression slowly melted into a smile, “yeah, I’d like that. You’d be the president.”

Tubbo grinned back at Tommy, “and you’ll be my trusty vice president and (y/n)’ll be our Secretary of State. We’ll rule together.”

“Our nation would be a place for people to escape tyranny and injustice. Somewhere where men could live free, you two would be amazing leaders.”

“What do we call it though is the question,” Tubbo hummed in thought.

“How about ‘Manberg’?”

You looked at your twin with half lidded, exhausted eyes, “I like it, but it needs more… pizazz. How about L’manberg?”

You watched as he smiled widely at the stars, “it’s perfect.”

Watching the sunrise together on the balcony wrapped in blankets

Sleeping on the rest of the way back home

Best sleep of your life

When you wake up (about an hour or so away from home), you see that there’s blankets over you three and you had your head on Tubbo’s shoulder, Tubbo had his leaned up against the seat behind him, and Tommy’s cheek was squished against the window

You stretch out your limbs a bit trying not to disturb the two beside you

Checking your phone to see pictures of you three sleeping sent into the family group chat with Kristin replying with a bunch of heart emojis

You send the videos and pictures you took along the way of you, Tommy, and Tubbo doing stupid things in the hotel room and in the car

If you looked in the middle row, you could see Wilbur watching the scenery pass by out the window with his earbuds in

Techno is reading one of his books (you have no idea how he doesn’t get car sick)

Phil and Kristin are talking lowly to each other holding hands on the center counsel 

Soft radio music is playing in the background

Life is good

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@crybabyjabby  @izzybobizzy13  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @bunnyz-pxstel  @averytiredfanfictionwriter  @dcml04  @sparkling-gayyyy  @bbigbbrainn  @thaticecreambish  @kiinokochii  @satansphatass  @bxkubitch  @bxmentchildxx  @roxy3457  @montygator17  @feverish-dove  @the-fictionwriters-hairdo  @jichuuchaeng  @404rynnotfound  @luluwinchester  @laura--444  @the-cult-classic-bitch  @youngstarfishdinosaur  @nottheotheruser

[thefanficmonster]

Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff 

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.” 

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

                                                          * * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger! 

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at. 

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black. 

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“ 

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me. 

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios

[outsideratheart]

Rendezvous On The Tennis Court (Julie Johnston x reader)

A/N: I got inspiration for this fic from an interview Sue Bird did. She told the interviewer that she met up with Megan in Tokyo but it had to be outdoors and social distanced.

Part 2

Being in Tokyo with Team USA was a dream come true. It was your second time representing your country at the olympics, the first being in Rio.

Even with the COVID protocols you still were having a great time, the only downside is that you couldn’t see your girlfriend and you couldn’t tell your teammates because you both had decided to keep your relationship a secret.

You didn’t have the opportunity to run into her in the olympic village because she and the rest of the team stayed at the hotel closest to the stadium they were playing at.

Tonight would be the first night you would be seeing her since you both left the states over 3 weeks ago.

You watched as your teammate Sue left the hotel and you left 5 minutes after trying to make sure you didn’t get caught.

You wondered around the olympic village looking at every map as you walked past it. You felt like you were going in circles until you saw them in front of you, the tennis courts and more importantly you see her.

As you enter the court she begins joggings to towards you but you hold put you hand out even though you would love nothing more than to hold her in your arms.

“We have to follow the rules” You tell her and she looks at you like a kid who got told no more cookies.

“Come on baby, you know what that look does to me” She changes her expression “That’s better”

“I miss you so much Y/N” She tells you

“I miss you too Jules” you respond.

She hated it when people called her that but you were the exception.

You both stand there taking in the sight before you. You knew that it would be hard to be away from her but not this hard.

“How is your knee doing?” You ask, you were so proud at how she handled her recovery but you still wanted her to take it easy.

“It’s ok” You see right through the lie.

“Oh really? Is that why you were limping when you ran towards me?” You say.

“You know me so well” You hum in agreement “It hurts but only after games” You raise your eyebrows “Ok so sometimes during games but I can’t not play” she says as if begging you not to say anything.

“Well you couldn’t tell against New Zealand miss woman of the match. Sue was so confused when I started shouting at the TV” you laugh remembering the moment well.

“Thank you. Pinoe was just as confused when I asked to watch the basketball with her”

“So I have a present for you?” You tell your girlfriend “I know that you loved my storm jersey” She nods in agreement “and that you didn’t bring it but I thought that you might like this one”

You reach into your hoodie revealing your team USA jersey giving it to the blonde.

She smells it and smiles which makes your laugh.

“Weirdo”

“What, it smells just like you. I did steal one of your hoodies but then it got washed. This can be it’s replacement” she tells you as she begins to laugh.

“What is so funny?” Her random giggles confuse you.

“I brought you one of my jerseys too. It doesn’t smell like me but it does have my name on it” she says taking her jersey out of her jacket like you did.

You take the jersey, smiling at the Johnston on the back, but just a quick as the smile came it went again.

“You know that I can’t wear this, not here” You tell her.

Julie’s eyes begin to well up at your comment which made you feel terrible but you were only being realistic.

“Why not, is it because it has my name on?” She asks you and you shake your head straight away.

“This shirt, is not available to buy. Which means if get pictured in it or even seen in it my teammates then they will have questions and I can’t lie to them, not directly” You explain.

Keeping your relationship a secret from the people closest to you was getting more and more difficult everyday.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep us a secret” you confess.

Truth is you wanted to scream it from the rooftops but Julie wanted to wait which you understood. Once the world knew, your relationship wouldn’t just be between the two of you.

“I’m just not ready for the world to know” She says.

You don’t hide the hurt you are feeling and Julie can sense it.

“How about this? We don’t tell everyone but we don’t not tell everyone?” She suggests.

You look at her confused. Either you tell people or you don’t.

“What does that mean?”

“It means we wear the jerseys and if people ask then we tell them. I know you see your teammates as family and I should never have asked you to lie to them but you did, for me”

You move towards her but this time it is her who tells you off.

“We have to follow the rules” she says mimicking the tone you used earlier.

“Well rules are stupid” You pout.

You both sit there talking about the tournament, what you had been watching on Netflix and what food you had been eating.

The chatter is small but you appreciate every word as you know after tonight you probably wouldn’t see her till the closing ceremony or till you were both back in America.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” You hear someone say and you recognise the voice straight away.

Looking around you see a social distanced Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe walking towards you.

“Hi Meg” you say “Fancy seeing you here”

“Is there something you want to tell us?” Sue says looking at you then to Julie and then back to you.

You hesitate, not sure what to say. Julie said if someone asked but was Sue actually asking?

Instead of saying anything, you look at Julie mentally asking for permission and she slowly nods her head.

You stand up

“I have a girlfriend!” You shout a little louder than expected and you quickly look around making sure no one else heard you.

“Don’t worry babe, it’s late most people are asleep” she tells you.

“Not anymore” Megan laughs.

Both of them begin asking questions about your’s and Julie’s relationship which you are happy to answer considering you have had to keep everything to yourself for so long.

Before you know it, it is time to go back to the room. You look at Julie and you feel the familiar ache in your chest, it was time to say goodbye and you really didn’t want to.

“Don’t look at me like that” she says causing you to pout.

“I don’t want to go” you tell her.

“We lasted this long without seeing each other, the next week will fly by”

“Promise?” You ask and she nods holding out her little finger and you make a air pinky promise.

Sue and Megan say goodbye too.

“Come on little Romeo, it is way past curfew and we have practice in the morning” Sue puts her arm around your shoulders as you walk back to the hotel.

You went to bed that night with a huge smile on your face, Julie was finally ready to tell people about your relationship. It might not complete openness but it was the first step.

[kimmyyang]

210408 Zhang Zhehan's interview with Elle Magazine

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, be a gentle yet strong person."

On the day of the photoshoot, it was a rare windy day in Bei Hai. The weather forecast reported it will rain, which made everyone slightly heart-stricken. "Can we still take photos by the seaside?", "how about changing the location?", we were worrying, but fortunately it didn’t rain, only left with steer drop in temperature and roaring wind.

On the way to the photoshoot location, Zhang Zhehan recorded the sound of wind outside of the window. To be able to use the last bit of daylight before the sun sets completely, after filming, he only had one hour and a bit to go back to the hotel, have dinner, change clothes, and get his makeup done. And now, when we have done everything, he uses the time in the car to chat with the long-waited fans in the drama interactive zone.

Busy is an expected state. But when we saw him at the location, you can’t tell any trace of being busy from his face. The strong wind blew the gravels on the beach in the sky. During the interval of the photoshoot, everyone couldn’t help but complained about the cold wind and getting sand all over their faces. Only Zhang Zhehan looked more relaxed as if he came back from a different beach as us.

When we moved to the coffee shop, we finally had time to sit down and talk. He asked the staff to give him a cushion for his back, at that moment, it was probably the first time that made us realize that he is actually very tired. "It’s tough and tiring to be an actor, right?" we haven’t even finished the sentence, and he disagreed, "it’s all the same, every job is tough and tiring."

It seems that he has a big heart.

He chose to ride to Tibet with his friend for his graduation trip. Like his mum said he always has the spirit of seeking out suffering. Speaking of this journey, he said: "we’re living too happily, most families don’t have to worry about clothes and food, don’t need to go through a lot of hardships. I like what Huang Lei teacher once said, ‘people will only have faith after suffering, people will understand kindness after suffering.’ I think after seeing the suffering in the world and feel the suffering yourself - you will be kind to others."

After hearing what he said, you will realize that ‘big heart’ could have been a misunderstanding. He can’t dilute ‘sufferings’ more than others, instead, in the moments of ‘seeking out sufferings’, his feeling towards ‘sufferings’ is stronger and more abundant compared to most people.

He has a very meticulous side, he feels, understands, and hides his ‘sufferings’. Then, those experiences and feelings related to sufferings become something that is hard for others to spot on him.

He said, "when we’re going through a hardship, we can only see the hardship itself, you don’t realize that it’s actually reminding you something and teaching you something else." This is also his understanding of being mature – you can see the many sides of one thing.

‘Bruce Almighty’， ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’， ‘The Bucket List’ are his favorite movies. He said, "there’s a line from Bruce Almighty that left a deep impression – do you really hope God will give you happiness? Maybe everyone’s interpretation of happiness is different, but in the movie, the protagonist only realized it at the end, God was giving him happiness, but not the so-called happiness, God taught him the ability to gain happiness." He pressed his thumb again his chin, slightly looking down, earnestly sharing his impression of the movie.

He added, "you’re actually changing your perspective of the problem." Like what he wrote before, "being mature is being able to see the things that you couldn’t see before."

Maybe if the settling time is long enough, you will be able to stay calm in the change of tides and guard yourself in the quicksand under your feet. Speaking of popularity, he was calmer than we expected.

He said, "popularity is very important for an actor. I think it’s complementary, when you’re popular, you will receive more attention. You will be able to carry some things on your shoulders, first, it can prove that you have the ability, second, it can prove you’re acknowledged by the market."

He continued, "as actors, we also need to be acknowledged by the market. I have seen some amazing actors, they put so much effort into every character but maybe haven’t been acknowledged by the market yet, so they remain unknown. Therefore, a lot of great characters won’t fall into their hands.” It sounds cruel but it’s an undeniable fact. He added, “if you’re not popular, good scripts won’t even land in your hands."

The success of ‘Word of Honor’, to Zhang Zhehan, is like winning the lottery.

He said, "the success of a drama depends on timing, geographical and social conditions, none of these is dispensable. There are hundreds and thousands of dramas filmed each year, but in the end, there will only be one or two that everyone would love. That kind of feels like winning the lottery."

Working hard is very common, it’s nothing special, he thinks it’s unreasonable if you just use ‘working hard’ and ask why you are ‘under appreciated’. Just like how everyone praises him for being an experiential actor and praises his immersive acting. But he thinks, this is the passing line to be an actor, this is what actors are supposed to do.

He said, "if you’re an actor and you don’t experience the character, how could you portray it well, if you don’t get into the character, how could you make the character come to life?"

Working hard, experiencing, and immersing… he views them as a refined definition of actor, these are the preconditions of the lottery ticket. As for whether you can win the lottery in the end, no one can predict it. At least in his experience, he waited for 11 years for that winning lottery ticket.

After the filming ended, he wrote ‘jianghu, goodbye’ on Weibo, when the last episode aired, it was exactly 6 months after the last day of filming. His Weibo is on the setting of showing only the recent 6 months’ posts, as if it was a ‘long been destined’ farewell.

Perhaps the character Zhou Zi Shu is destined to be his. During the four months of filming, he had to gradually reveal Zhou Zi Shu’s two thousand layers of gray, he had to find him, become him, and lastly live the rest of his life for him.

Actors are probably all like this, they always must pour in their own life, emotions, and experience to make the character come to life. The process of making the character come to life means the actors get to experience life and emotions once again.

"Life is experience, you need to put some of your experiences into your characters."

Hegel mentioned in ‘Lectures on Aesthetics’ - 艺术通过供观照的形象可以缓和最酷烈的悲剧命运, 使它成为欣赏的对象。(thank you @sixteenthshen for providing the original quote!)

the specific lines zzh mentioned is bolded: If we are in a general way permitted to regard human activity in the realm of the beautiful as a liberation of the soul, as a release from constraint and restriction, in short, to consider that art does actually alleviate the most overpowering and tragic catastrophes by means of the creations it offers to our contemplation and enjoyment, it is the art of music which conducts us to the final summit of that ascent to freedom.

The reason why those so-called pains are endowed with aesthetic tension may lie in ‘being watched with pleasure’. Those most beautiful things aren’t been torn in our real lives, they become one ‘tearing performance’ after another, being shown on the stage, shown on the screen. The existence of aesthetic distance made ‘those so-called pains’ into something that can be bearable, having its own appreciation.

That so-called ‘pain’ experience comes more direct towards actors, there’s not much room for leeway. In his previous interview, he commented that Zhou Zi Shu is the most memorable character, the character that hurt him the most. Talking about ‘getting hurt’ again, he thinks that is unavoidable.

"I say that an actor has to get into the character and get out of character quickly. But when you’re acting in a happy scene, that happy feeling might last for a day or few days. When you’re acting in a sad, heart-broken scene, even you say it’s ok, it’s fine, it won’t affect me. But it will affect your mood, including your actions. When I go back to my room, I can’t help but to think about that scene, I might not be willing to go out and walk around."

"So, do you think acting is a process of wearing yourself out and wearing emotions down?"

"Of course, of course, of course, it’s wearing myself out." He said of course three times consecutively, "it’s not just wearing my emotions down, it also wears my physical strength out, wears my experience out, and a lot of my own things. So, if I want to do well in a piece of work, I can’t go into the next crew right after I have finished filming. Because you will have traces of the last piece of work, it’s actually hard to accept and get into the next character."

"I personally really like to stay in the filming crew, the reason why I said Zhou Zi Shu is great is that we couldn’t have any other work due to COVID-19 restrictions. I was in the crew for 4 months, in peace. I was looking into and experiencing the character carefully."

On the day of the interview, the Q&A part about acting was the most ‘unrestrained’. Every time we throw out a question, we would always get a powerful and resonating reply. From the perspective of a bystander, you could feel that he is the kind of person that is shining in his professional field.

At the end of every drama/ film, he would choose to leave that environment, and go out to have fun for few days. "I’m not insisting that I need to disengage from the drama/ film, I just want to relax, return to myself, return to Zhang Zhehan’s life."

"So, when you’re looking at Zhou Zi Shu again now as a viewer, do you have any different sentiment?"

"Of course, I would think of the funny parts and incidents. A lot of interesting bits that I’ve added in myself, you can see it in the character." Fortunately, as an actor, he can also feel the happiness that ordinary viewers have.

In our conversation, the words that he mentioned the most were 'gentle yet strong'.

"I really like netizens' comments that Zhou Zi Shu is gentle yet strong."

"The quality that I admire the most now is gentle yet strong."

"I feel like now I want to be like Ah-Xu, someone who is gentle yet strong."

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, become a bit gentler."

He thinks this seemingly contradictory combination is very interesting, "strong describes a person who is strong, whereas gentle is soft. These two words may seem to have no connection, but when they’re put together, it’s also a perfect connection."

"I didn’t feel this way before. I used to think people have to be strong, powerful, how can you be gentle yet strong? I think that’s something I need to learn now. This person must make everyone around them feel comfortable and think of others, but at the same time he/ she is also an individual who’s very strong and full of capabilities."

"Like water, it’s like this when it’s calm, it’s like that when it’s surging high."

He used as many hand gestures as he could as he wanted to express what’s on his mind as much as possible.

Gentle yet strong, this is what he saw, felt from Zhou Zi Shu, and it’s also the character experience he most wants to leave behind.

"Speaking of what hasn’t changed for 11 years, is that I’m still acting; speaking of changes there are a lot. All these years of experience, it became my understanding of each character, in contrast, 11 years of acting experience allowed me to learn a lot from my characters."

To him, every big or small character he had in the past 11 years is a mutual encounter, he gave something to the characters, and the characters also left him with something.

Those who have seen his acting praise him that he truly understands Zhou Zi Shu, so we asked how he could stand in the perspective of Zhou Zi Shu to understand his words and actions. He doesn’t think that it was understanding, it just naturally happened.

"I didn’t deliberately try to understand him, I think what he did was just following his heart, that’s how I feel, so that’s how it should be. I would ask if it was myself, can I do that? Is it acceptable? If I think it’s ok, then it’s right. If I think it’s unacceptable, I will definitely tell the director - 'I don’t want to act this way.'"

"I read another book today, the main idea is the most important thing for people is to know themselves. Know yourself, know what kind of person you are, then you will know the world. You need to learn how to reconcile with yourself, learn how to communicate with yourself, tell yourself when you need to keep going, when to compromise, when you need to understand, when you need to be strong… you need to keep being yourself and convince yourself at certain times."

Meeting Zhou Zi Shu, to Zhang Zhehan is also the process of meeting and knowing himself. "But I’m probably not as mighty as Zhou Zi Shu," he laughed.

He thinks that he’s not at the age of looking back, the things that have happened, just let them go. "There’s nothing to remember in particular, there’s nothing memorable. And my occupation, a lot of people will remember for you, they will remember your good, remember your various moments, so I don’t need to remember. What I need to do now is to live well, my current life, future life, and get into the next role."

"When I can’t act anymore, I think I will look back more."

Now, he wants to challenge a new area, "I really want to act in movies, act in more movies. 40 episodes of acting and 2 hours of acting are different, condensed acting is the quintessence. I still need to learn how to act well in the 2 hours."

And "I hope I can be a director one day."

The beautiful scenery in spring is as deep and wide as the sea, it’s fortunate that we get to meet.

"My occupation, many people will remember every moment of yours."

"Immerse into my next character, and live well - that's what I need to do now. "

Translation by: KIMMYYANG