#hmm maybe I’m not okay
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#hmm maybe I’m not okay#clara oswald#doctor who#I did fact check this it's true#twelveclara#whouffle
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being a multishipper is so interesting in the fop fandom (and most fandoms tbh) because you’ll have a lot of ships you really enjoy but the other shippers like actively DESPISE the other. I like perirep the most but I ship that purple twink with so many guys
#every day I see perirep and peridale shippers hating on each other#or other peri shippers hating on irep and dale#meanwhile I’m just. making peri kiss everyone. playing with them like dolls#like hmm maybe you guys wouldn’t want to see my other peri ships#like him with Juandissimo *gets shot in the head and dragged off stage*#that’s all I’m talking about I’ve seen how this fandom can be#also makes my sona smooch him AND irep sorry boys I also want the blue and purple bitches#yknow I call peri a twink but I draw him human he’s kind of doughy. and Irep is boft (buff with tummy). fascinating#peri and Cupid are victims of me (i ship them with too many people but also have favorite ships for them)#okay tbf the Juandissimo one is MOSTLY a joke. mostly. I’ve drawn it a few times so maybe the joke is me.#peri can do better than him but unfortunately for him I like to put him in Situations
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!
Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3
(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)
Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:
#and yeah I did say I’d do a fuckass background but all my energy went to figuring out Suiren’s design#plus I suck at backgrounds so.. woe. LoK screenshot be upon ye#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#avatar suiren au#original character#sotrl suiren#vaatu#I don’t really know what to say in these tags lmao#usually I reach the tag limit really really easily but between my previous post and answering that ask I’ve ran out of things to say#someone please indulge me in this au I have Way Too Many Thoughts about it#hmm…#you know. I think people often make different avatar aus because they dislike Korra or think she’s a bad avatar#I don’t. I love Korra. I would kill and die for her#(says the red lotus stan. yes I’m well aware. no need to call me out)#and I think she’s a good avatar who was dealt a shitty hand both in universe and by the show’s production team#I’m making this au BECAUSE I love Korra. if Suiren is the avatar Korra gets to be a normal SWT girl#she’ll get to grow up with her parents. not isolated and degraded all the time for not being perfect. maybe she’d have a sibling or two#and Suiren gets spared her sotrl trauma too. win win for everyone!!#(I return Suiren gets the weight of the world on her shoulders lmao. but it’s fine. 1. she isn’t alone in it. she has her family#2. three quarters of the LoK threats are basically automatically eliminated for her. the RL are her parents. she fuses with Vaatu#and all she has to do to defeat Kuvira is to take her dress off 😁 /hj. basically. she’ll be okay. better than in sotrl at least)#also look. I love Suiren. she’s my dear child who’s been with me since I was 12. of course I wanna make her the main character in everything#and dark avatar Korra AUs have been done countless times before me. Kat’s doing one right now!! I just wanna do something that’s my own#and also I wanna focus less on pain and trauma for once and more on the sheer hilarity of the shenanigans that will occur post-fusion#cause this isn’t Adumbration where Korra lets Raava go and fuses with Vaatu instead. here Suiren’s got both of them at the same time#and they have 10000 years’ worth of grievances to air out. it’s like living with your divorced parents#trust me I would know. except mine aren’t divorced. they’re Worse and everyone wishes they’d just separate#anyway. that aside. Suiren’s not getting any sleep any time soon while those two duke it out
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thinking of rereading the entirety of HoME again. for my health
#‘for my health’ says the woman who has been struggling so much she’s barely read a book in the last half year lmao#silmarillion#(eh close enough)#tolkien#personal#also because I got so viscerally appalled when someone the other day tried to claim that ‘the second age has a lot less written about it tha#n the first age’ like I beG YOUR PARDON LMAO WHOMST#clearly someone hasn’t read unfinished tales 🙂↔️ clearly someone hasn’t read the entirety of HoME 🙂↔️#and like obviously idc idc I’m not a completionist truther read as much or as little of a fandom as you want enjoy what you want etc.#but when I went ‘oh there’s actually a lot in unfinished tales and in the home! it’s rly fascinating and fun and some of my favorites have y#ou had a chance to check it out ever?’ this person rly had the audacity to say they’ve ’read some of the unfinished tales’ like hm. somethin#tells me I don’t believe you lmao#I have never once in my life heard someone call. unfinished tales. the book. titled unfinished tales. ‘the unfinished tales’ like lmao what#anyways. it’s okay to admit you haven’t read something babe I was actually gonna recommend a few parts of that book and HoME you might enjoy#but 💋 okay then 💋#also normally I’d give ppl the benefit of the doubt but this person is Like This TM a lot and always has to outdo others & im over it lmao#but also also anyways. I am not immune to the HoME rereleased editions with that gorgeous artwork they are calling me and I am weak to#resist their siren song 😭😂 they’re so beautiful but each set of like 3-4 books (some have 3 some have 4 and the last one also has an index)#are like. over $100 each lmao ripppp.#I do own a few of the HoME but I don’t own all of them and. aaaaaa I need a complete reread#13 yo me 🤝🏻 late 20s yo me : going ‘hmm life is crazy maybe I need to immerse myself in the obscurent most dense Tolkien lore I possibly can#and yknow what. we’re so right. we’re so right#the history of middle earth#unfinished tales#and that conversation. as weird and posturing as that person was being. did get me reminiscing about my HoME obsessed days and I was like aw#I should revisit that :)#sometime self care is rereading 12 volumes of obscure lore about a fictional world with no one to talk with it about#anyways home my beloved. unfinished tales my beloved. love those books#obviously OBVIOUSLY I love the silmarillion and LOTR and the hobbit and beren and luthien etc etc ad infinitum as well! ofc! I just. I love#all of them ♡ hehe ♡
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2018 -> 2024
One thing about me is guys and flowers 👍✨
#d0 stuff#hmm#I remembered the Paul piece and put this together thinking it would be nice progress tracker#but now that I look at it I’m like hmmm#the main progress is using refs 🤣#aaand maybe some coloring#maybe#okay mayhaps composition too but that depends on the day lol
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CHRONIC RECURRING LAZARUS PIT MADNESS ISN’T REAL, CHRONIC RECURRING LAZARUS PIT MADNESS ISN’T REAL, CHRONIC RECURRING LAZARUS PIT MADNESS ISN’T REAL, AND IT WASN’T A PIT SIDE EFFECT THAT JASON TODD WAS SHOWN TO GET WHEN HE WAS HEALED ANYWAY! JASON TODD DID BAD THINGS AND HE CHOSE TO DO THEM! HE’S NOT A SAD LONELY LITTLE IMPRESSIONABLE BABY WHO CAN’T MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS OR EXCERCISE ANY SELF-CONTROL! STOP TAKING AWAY HIS AGENCY! STOP MAKING HIM A BORING GUILT-RIDDEN WOOBIE! JASON TODD STANDS BY EVERYTHING HE’S DONE AND HE DID IT ALL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO! SHUT UP ABOUT LAZARUS PIT MADNESS ON MY POSTS!
#dc#jason todd#batman#batfamily#batfam#dc comics#red hood#i am going to snap this is me snapping#delete later maybe idk#if you comment on this arguing w me i will delete your comments bc i am not in the mood#i don’t want a fight i know it seems like i do but i don’t#this is just me screaming my frustration into the void#just ignore me#i hate fanon sooooo much#people see an interesting complex character and go ‘hmm i’m going to get rid of everything that makes this guy interesting.#bc what the batfam really needs is black-haired blue-eyed guilt-ridden sad boy number 46’#okay NOW i’m done i’ve expelled the toxin from my veins i can move on with my life now#i’m not necessarily mad at the people who have commented these things really i swear my frustration is directed at the nebulous collective#i hold no bad feelings towards any individuals. if you think this is directed at you i promise it’s not
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guys how the freak do u write a scene where a character is being beat up brutally like to the point where if he wasn’t found by his friends, he coulda been killed, and this jumping brutally traumatizes him and he isn’t the same for like months and months after wards . and if His Person hadn’t been there for him, he probably wouldn’t have survived those months after his jumping. like.
#i’m struggling very much with this scene . hmm#maybe i’ll. well. okay wait i have an idea#this is a multi chapter . maybe i shall. cut off this chapter at a certain place#hold on i need to cook
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oh wait huh okay
#camera talks#just. just realized people care about me lmao uhm#like I knew and I know#but I just had this moment#like fuck people care?#and like maybe people actually think about me#and maybe people would miss me?#damn yeah okay#I’m a person and I have a life hmm#what a revelation to have rn#to be known is to be loved or something like that#people care about me huh
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:/
#I know they’re only teasing but my parents always joke when I talk about my interests#basically saying it’s annoying and I talk about them too much#well okay I just won’t talk to you about them then!#you want to see my photos? hmm no maybe some other time#you want me to be more chatty? well no I think I’m good. because then what would I chat about?
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Spotify prompt! Knuckles and tails, an 19 :)
Oh hoho! You managed to land FightSong by EVE (<- YouTube link), a song that by all rights shoulda been #2 (<- I refuse to pay Spotify money).
Hmm…. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything with Super Sonic Speed, but I always did intend to write follow-ups…
.•.•.•.
The city is unbelievably loud. They’re in what Sonic had called a shopping district, and it’s apparently very popular. Knuckles would kind of like to go home, a lot, actually, but Tails is flirting from one shop to another and he doesn’t have it in him to shut the kid down. Sonic is somewhere on the periphery of their little group— he and Tails had bonded, thick as thieves, and Knuckles— well, he tolerated the guy.
Tails gasps like he’s seeing the sun rise for the first time, excited enough that he’s lifting off the ground. Knuckles ambles over, grabs him by the ankle, and pulls him back down. He’s looking at some sort of… thing. Knuckles can’t make heads or tails of it, but it’s definitely saying something to Tails.
Hmm. He is, at least, familiar with the idea of shops. Chao liked to set them up, sometimes, selling fruit or handmade crafts for rings, but Knuckles has no idea if their idea of currency and everyone else’s aligns. Would the shopkeep accept a fruit? Most chao did. It isn’t like rings are a problem, so…
Knuckles turns, seeking out Sonic in the crowd. There he is— stiff as anything, glancing frantically back and forth between Knuckles and some other hedgehog, a pink one. One of his friends, maybe? They look irritated, maybe not. Knuckles steps away from Tails, invites himself into their conversation.
“and you just RAN OFF—“ the hedgehog is shouting. Sonic cracks his mouth open, a faint wheeze escaping.
“Hey,” Knuckles says.
“—do you have ANY IDEA how WORRIED I was—“
This looks like a battle Sonic is better off fighting on his own. Still, Knuckles needs his question answered. “Hey,” he repeats, slightly louder.
“—I mean, I knew you were alright because my cards said so, but—“
“Hey Knuckles,” Sonic manages to crack out, “this is Amy.”
Amy tilts her head at him, and then gives him a sharp, discerning once-over. “Are you one of his other friends?” She asks.
“Yeah, sure,” Knuckles says, and then “do rings work as currency down here?”
She blinks at him, as if this is a weird thing to ask. “Yes?” She says.
“Okay,” Knuckles says, nodding, “try not to scare him too bad.”
Any lingering confusion evaporates, and she whirls around to find Sonic trying to sneak away. “AGAIN!” she shouts, full of conviction, and Knuckles makes his way back to where he left Tails. He isn’t pressed up against the glass anymore, so Knuckles steps into the store. Yeah, there he is. Hovering— literally— over the same display.
Knuckles takes a moment to properly observe, rooting around for the terms Tails would use, in an attempt to ensure he gets the right thing. There’s a looping track, and a few other gadgets on the sides. A switch, one of them looks like, and some barricade, and a few blinking lights. On the track itself is a… sideways cylinder, set on wheels, connected to a few boxes, puffing out smoke— or steam, maybe. Tails is absorbed enough in watching it chug along that he doesn’t even realize Knuckles is standing right next to him. Knuckles’ll just have to make sure he comes up for air, occasionally.
He casts about the rest of the store, vaguely lost. There are a lot of displays, and a lot of colourful boxes. Knuckles picks up one, flips it over, and realizes swiftly he is out of his depth. He brings the box over to Tails, handing it to him. Tails holds onto it for a full few seconds, watching with bated breath as the cylinder switches tracks, before he looks down. His fur all along his spine puffs up, and he turns to look at Knuckles so fast he has to wonder if Sonic hasn’t started to rub off on him in more ways than one. That’s the right box, for sure.
“Really?” Tails asks, voice breathy with excitement, and Knuckles ruffles his fur instinctually.
“‘Course.”
Maybe the shopping district isn’t that bad.
#eggthew#prompt fill#askbox#uhhh so. I kind of barely followed fightsong at all I CAN EXPLAIN#went off the visuals instead of the lyrics. two people running around in city. ooh I could do knuckles protecting tails from Eggman in some#kind of egg city! ah hang on there’s the eggperial city arc in idw and I haven’t read that yet. so I’m not confident in portraying it. hmmm#I could do a Different egg city… man Knuckles and Tails. what a great pair. I really enjoyed writing them in super sonic speed. hey! I could#do super sonic speed’s Knuckles’s first time in a city! maybe he gets kind of freaked out? escape from the city haha#well tails would be familiar with cities. and sonic would be there ofc but I’ll shuffle him off to the side so he doesn’t hog the spotlight#I could do tails looking at a shop! yeah! and knuckles needs to ask how currency works but sonic is… busy? hmm. oh! a city!!!! amy lives in#a city!! she runs into sonic! which keeps him from coming back over with knuckles. I always did mean to write her reunion with sonic.#that’ll be nice to do. alright. perfect. it’s all working out. get to the final few lines. think ‘hey how did I end up with this anyway.’#pulse of adrenaline as my brain goes OH YEAH FIGHTSONG. ach.#I’m happy w this though :)#knuckles: I Tolerate sonic. at best.#sonic: hey I am in a vaguely uncomfortable situation#knuckles *rolling up metaphorical sleeves*: do I need to kick ass#Amy making a mental note: sonic apparently befriending a space alien okay okay cool#they meet up for ice cream. knuckles is inflicted with curse of immediate brainfreeze. tails is So Excited about his new model train set#within a week he mods it to A) be strong enough to pull the Master Emerald and B) be armed.
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Growing up w a mom who both wants to talk to you about all of her feelings but also somehow doesn’t know how to talk about your feelings but also she’s your best friend and also she’s done so much for you but she ruins your day constantly and you love her but you haven’t told her that in months when she says she loves you you say “yeah” and walk away and she’s sick and you’ve been asking her every time you get up if she needs anything if she wants the bong packed if she needs water food whatever and then the one time I’m nauseous making food for myself (eating for the first time today at one pm) she leans into the kitchen and asks me to make her scrambled eggs and I said no maybe after I eat and she said okay and then went back into her room and then I took my food and went into my room and was just eating when she came into my room to yell at me and cry about me not ever helping her and I said no I can cook after I eat a little I was nauseas and she was just like [yelled through tears] no I’m making myself toast you don’t need to do anything for me! And slammed my bedroom door and went loudly crying across the house and now I’m just in my room like oh okay 👍 thanks ! So I might go to the library for a bit maybe and listen to my mommy issues playlist on the way there and sob
#lol! okay sure this might as well be how my day goes today sure#no cause she made me feel so fucking awful that I didn’t immediately fucking bend to her will it’s insane the guilt this woman can lay on#i said I haven’t eaten yet today she immediately said ‘ I haven’t eaten in three days I weigh ___ (low number for her bc she’s always keepin#me in the loop on her weight cause that helps raise children with normal relationships to themselves and their own weight#anyways#yeah !! yipppe !! and I was on the phone with my girlfriend and she had to fucking listen to my mom yell at me !!!#apparently she deafened but idk when she did but I have to feel bad about that too cause my mom yelling triggered 📞 and made her anxiety#spike and she wanted to go lay down for a while and I’m just like pissed off in my room and it’s soooo fucking annoying#I think I’m gonna just finish my Mac and cheese cup and pack up my coloring book and my iPad and go drive and check the ashtrays first maybe#I need tobacco after that I feel like I was doing good I haven’t smoked tobacco in two days I think so yay but after that. I want a bowl and#I don’t have that much rn#whatever I could make it work without the ashtrays and I could just like. stop going.#I could have self control if I wanted to. hmm… we shall see.
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i think i need to write less conversations and more things like cori being in so much pain healing themself that they mess it up. i need to make things happen to them again
#i’m just better at that i think 😭but so many things happen to them in canon that a lot of my thoughts now are what they talk about#better at things that are not dialogue i mean#maybe i need to do an shb fic from cori’s pov….hmm….#okay sorry for all the text posts i’m going to bed#i need a text post tag
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you know. i don’t really care about repping flags anymore but i do want a gilbert baker pride flag
#i feel like i have to make it myself to make it feel real. i’m okay with that#hmm maybe ill get some fabric and dye it#i think mr baker would appreciate that#talking
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I’m realizing that with the way I interact with the real world, I could very much make the case of being an alien trying to learn about and blend in with the human race
I don’t know if that makes sense, but the way I act sometimes, you’d think I don’t know what a person is
#I’m not saying this as a negative thing#well I mean okay objectively it probably isn’t great#but this isn’t like a put myself down sort of thing#I just act strange#no wonder that one girl genuinely thought I was homeschooled#also you guys probably don’t see that much of it#because here I can act semi normally (or at least normally for tumblr)#but take me out of my element and put me in the real world?#yeah no#I don’t know what I’m doing#so I must observe#learn to blend in#hmm maybe I could make that into a narrative for Creative Writing#quite literally have my main character be an actual extraterrestrial trying to observe humans#file that idea away#real life stuff#school stuff#random stuff
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im not a spontaneous person so when im like. let’s do it. im pretty much committed to the bit.
#I actually really hate when you talk to someone about doing something and you’re like hmm maybe but then they turn you into a yes.#and then once you’re committed they’re like. let me think on it.#girl! fuck you! (respectfully. this is not serious. well. that serious. I’m a complicated person okay.)
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