#and maybe people would miss me?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
oh wait huh okay
#camera talks#just. just realized people care about me lmao uhm#like I knew and I know#but I just had this moment#like fuck people care?#and like maybe people actually think about me#and maybe people would miss me?#damn yeah okay#I’m a person and I have a life hmm#what a revelation to have rn#to be known is to be loved or something like that#people care about me huh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Not being defined as anything also means that you can become anything"
#btsgif#btsedit#cyphernet#dailybts#raplineuser#userbangtan#userpat#annietrack#tuserandi#useremmeline#usermaggie#creatyoon#usersevn#heyginkgo#usermizuoka#userpris#namjoonedit#kim namjoon#bts#*#i think this is my fav quote from trailer#funny how few days ago i was thinking that i miss this roundie very much and here we are#ironically i won't be able to watch this in the movie theather but maybe that's for the best#i have a feeling that it would be too personal and i don't want other people to distract me#sigh#i hope he's doing well these days
582 notes
·
View notes
Text
After doing some research on the types of pets people had in ancient Greece, I'd like to imagine that Helen is the sort of person who has a whole menagerie of birds — and she loves each and every one of them very, very much.
It fits well with her being good at mimicry, you know. Talking and imitating and singing with her beloved birds 💜
Close up under the read more:
I had to include that one necklace from the minoan 'saffron goddess' fresco because it's my favourite thing Ever
#helen of sparta#greek mythology#greek myth art#tagamemnon#birds#this started as a helen with birds drawing. then turned into a chance to put helen in mycenaean accurate clothing.#and THEN turned into a sort of hades game art study/sprite because playing with half lineart + half rendering is just too much fun#speaking of fun: I really enjoyed making this!! Once I got a bit experimentative it really came together. I'm happy with the outcome! ^w^#choosing what birds and how many was a challenge... in my mind Helen has dozens of birds and all sorts of species. truly a crazy bird lady.#but I decided to focus on a few for this. maybe another time i'll make a piece with a ridiculous amount of birds for fun >:) hehe#I cant remember the source but I know I read somewhere that people would specifically train magpies to say hello/greet guests#and I love that little factoid (and love magpies very much) so that was an immediate choice for me to feature here.#I also love doves and goldfinches. goldfinches sound so delightful and stand out so they were my 'songbird' choice.#and I'd like to imagine that one specific dove snuggles up on helen's shoulder all the time <3#the only bird that's truly missing here is an indian ringneck parrot (which I initially wanted to put on the shoulder but changed my mind)#so if you're like me and watch too many parrot videos. just know helen has one of them that can't stop talking and posing lmao#capri_art
305 notes
·
View notes
Text
There are always 2 sides.
The discourse around Louis and Lestat being a victim and abuser and nothing more drives me insane.
Something i don't think enough people remember is that the very same reason the fight began in 1×05 (lestat grabbing claudia by the throat when she tries to "take louis away") we see Louis himself do to her in 1×07 when she tries to get Louis to burn Lestat.
They BOTH would harm her rather than live in a world without the other. They are both guilty of abusing her and each other.
There is an implication that a good deal of time passed between Louis and Lestat meeting and the church. Louis expresses that he shares himself with Lestat in a way he only had with Paul. I would assume that goes both ways, to a degree. We know Louis knows at least enough about Nicki to discourage Claudia poking that wound. He also clearly knows that the threat of leaving is his most powerful weapon against Lestat.
Mental abuse is abuse. And Louis abused Lestat mentally for years. Shaming him, ridiculing him, shutting him out, manipulating him into making Claudia (a traumatic moment for him, whether Louis understands the depths of it or not) by promising to give him what he's being denying him, promising to never put him through what he fears the most.
Louis admits to purposely making Lestat suffer. He admits he was warned that Claudia would suffer and he wanted her anyway because he needed to feel redeemed. He is not innocent. He is not a trapped, weak victim. He made choices to hurt both Lestat and Claudia time and time again.
Does this justify Lestat's actions in 1×05? Obviously not. But we now know Louis was not willing to stop the fight. He taunted Lestat the same way he taunted the Alderman. He was unleashing years of frustrations just as Lestat was. His priority was not to protect Claudia, it was to hurt Lestat, consequences be damned.
I hate the drop scene as much as the next person and Lestat has admitted he will never earn forgiveness for what he did. But if you view Louis as some squeaky clean victim who was manipulated, trapped, and abused by Lestat you are missing so much of what this show is conveying.
We will always tend to paint ourselves as the hero of our own story. It is hard to accept your faults or that you hurt people you love. It is much easier to shift that blame on to someone else, to frame them as the villian. But life is not usually that black and white. Claudia had harsh words for them both in her diary, even before they got to Europe, for a reason. They both made hurtful mistakes with her, both treated her like a pawn in their relationship instead of a person, both harmed her, took away her choice, never prioritized her.
That is the great tragedy. That she never had a choice and was not allowed to be her own person. And in the end, they both are responsible for her misery and her death. That's what makes the reunion scene so important. They have been grieving her and carrying that guilt alone, all the while longing for the comfort of the other for 70+ years. Louis has found clarity in his memories, he has accepted his role in their suffering, he has seen Lestat's perspective more fully. Lestat is broken, totally consumed with that guilt and grief. Both know that although they cannot change what they've done, they can forgive the other, even if they can't forgive themselves. They can love each other despite everything they've done to one another because they cannot stop loving each other. But now they can try to rebuild that love from the rubble.
#If you don't think that lestat would have killed anyone who grabbed Claudia the way Louis did (other than louis) you don't know lestat#tw abuse#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#iwtv text post#iwtv thoughts#I'm sorry idc if people have problems with this take I have problems with MISSING THE POINT#If they wanted you to view Lestat as an irredeemable monster the show would suck#Yes I think 1×05 was a mistake and I get why people struggle with it but we have learned a lot since#We know Louis is an unreliable narrator and we have only seen the real lestat in 1 scene#We have never truly heard his side of any of this ffs#If Louis loves him I can love him ok?#They are messy but they like that!!! Look at how they fell in love!!#Mess all around#Don't even get me started on viewing Armand as The Villian#claudia deserved better#They all do tbh#Rant over sorry#interview with the vampire#i could talk about this forever#Maybe season 3 will finally have some healthy relationship but probably not lol
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#christian horner#for the blacklists#I recognize that christian horner in a gifset is NOT the kind of content people in ricnation are looking for rn#debated posting this but fuck it#me 🤝🏼 daniel: two bitches that love a depressing song lyric#it's about breaking free from a toxic relationship and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs#and that it can take a long time to recognize the dynamics at play in those relationships#and removing yourself from that situation can be just as hard and that just kind of epitomizes daniel with christian for me#in the return to rbr I think daniel trusted that CH would at the very least be straight forward and upfront with him#even if the end result wasn't what daniel wanted or hoped for#daniel could handle not getting the rbr seat#but something he couldn't handle was the truth that the one person he believed he could trust was gaslighting him and using him#and daniel had a light bulb moment - the point where you realize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away#and so he got out#also this is obviously my interpretation of a relationship that I have zero insider info on and maybe they are chill now#as always…thinking too deeply about people I don’t know in the tags#also i recognize that this song is actually about a tiktok hype house but whatever rbr are that immature so it fits#this is my first go with this type of editing in PS so if you have any tips on style and execution i'm all ears#Apparently i also owe CH an apology bc i was so sure he didn't shake daniel's hand pre-race in singapore but he actually did and i missed i#during the breakdown i was having anyway fuck him still
159 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 twist // designs for the mushroom citizens of the mushroom kingdom. Toadette, Toad, and Toadsworth.
#MyArt#toad#toadette#toadsworth#mushroom#mushroom people#fungi#mushroom kingdom#mario#nintendo#princess toadstool#// still decided to post this here even if it doesnt have much to do with wario its still nintendo related --sue me WHWUHAHAAH#// I dont mind the toads how they look but I just always would like if maybe there was a little more to them I suppose#// It was really fun to do though--making this#// I miss toadsworth. where did he go? HWWUHAAHAH
711 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm
Heroes and Monsters by Penny & Sparrow // Critical Role Campaign 3
#thinking about the 4sd where laura was talking about how all the hells titles are good but imogens sounds like it has a double meaning#that shes the storm's hope rather than just the intended a hope that comes from the storm.#and all of imogens 'i am the storm' esque responses#something something what does it mean to turn away from the storm when the storm is inextricable from who you are on both a psychological#and metaphysical level. how do you turn away from your fate when its already in your veins#imogen answers: you don't! you take it into you. and i think that's fun!#me holding imogen's arc in my hands so I can look away from the context it exists in: this is wonderful#critical role#imogen temult#cr3#bell's hells#predathos#liliana temult#also god. i really miss fcg and imogen. not only was fcg the only witness to a lot of imogen's most significant moments of internal conflic#he was also often the only one that could successfully get her to elaborate on vague claims she would make about how she feels about#the moon and the storm and their fight and all her fear and her willingness to be scared and still do the Right thing even if it risks her#life. and I remember how much fcg's presence was often imogen's impetutus to take seriously that the gods matter to people. because imogen#was the first and often the loudest one to insist fcg had a soul. but it wasn't until the magic of the everlight through pike and their#realization of a meaning through the changebringer that fcg really began to value themself. and she saw how much the gods really could be#this powerful and good force in a person's life beyond just granting them magic. and it led to her often pushing back against (thought ofte#in over delicate and tentative ways) ashton's claims against the gods. but fcg is gone and he died for the hells. and imogen doesn't have#that ever present reminder amongst the storm that the choices she makes will echo out farther than the people she cares about.#also just. they were besties 2 me. they bullied each other but also put the most effort into both challenging and understanding each other.#actually. now thinking about it. fcg and imogen had maybe the most illustrative dynamic of what bh could've been and failed to be. alas ala#cr spoilers#my post#long post#web weaving#web weave#cr edit
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
"you guys are celebrating a murder" yes, I am aware?? 🤨 that's literally The Whole Point
#''you're idolizing a MURDERER'' yep sure am 👍 and good for him tbh#if the uhc ceo killer came to me right now and needed a place to stay#i would not only hide him forever but also suck his dick every day amen#uhc ceo#united healthcare#the people trying to moral grand stand about this are so clearly missing the point it's not even funny#OBVIOUSLY the murder is tragic and killing people is wrong#but the murder of brian thompson was also calculated and planned#it wasn't spontaneous or a result of angry lashing out#it was meticulous and clearly targeted#and we all know why#we're latching onto the shooter because he's the current embodiment of a poor and exhausted working class#no one wants to sit back and take this anymore#the shooting was a symptom of the larger problem -- namely the gross wealth disparity in america#instead of condemning the action maybe y'all should condemn the years and years and YEARS of suffering—#that the working class has been through to make a man feel like something this extreme was necessary
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
467 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/48446587e9cf4588afd6fb051055662f/50bfd31adb0d960c-bd/s540x810/6f511012353f9f768314885c39ff4b091d27729c.jpg)
What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like ghostmaker and batman as narrative foils not in the “ghostmaker is incapable of forming relationships with or feeling empathy for others, therefore batman is better” way but in the fact that ghostmaker IS better. literally. more stronger mentally, emotionally, physically. stronger in the way he carries himself and how he sees himself and how he treats others (depending on your definition of strong) and yet, he’s still so so miserable. he can lie to himself all he wants, or ignore everything but blatant fact, but it still doesn’t change the fact that even though he follows batman’s “I work alone” rule better than the actual batman ever could, he still loses to bruce in some way. bruce was willing to shoot someone for khoa, willing to follow and stay, and khoa straight up couldn’t handle it. therefore, he is worse in the one thing that makes batman, batman. that nothing will ever tie him down, no matter what. not Bruce or his city or his rouges.
except, that’s not entirely true anymore, is it? because this time, he does stay. he meets Bruce’s kids and indulges bruce in banter and playfighting and even fake ‘dates’. he stays, and leads, batman inc. and he does it considerably better than batman. of course, he still kills people. he can barely stand batmans kids and the feeling is entirely mutual. he still treats others as expendable next to his mission. but, he stays. he stays with bruce, with someone, in some way this time. he’s learning, he’s willing to learn.
#frankly the ableist take that ‘Khoa can’t feel which makes him weaker than the totally not mentally fucked other guy’ pisses me off#I think people forget he doesn’t kill because he enjoys it. he does it because he feels he has too. it makes his job easier#besides. those people are normally sex traffickers or drug lords or murderers or child abusers. would it really hurt taking them out?#ugh but anyways im super sick and i feel like i can barely get a point across. this might feel rushed or like it’s missing some points#so sorry for that :( but maybe ill fix this when i feel better#I just wanted to post some of my word vomit :)#batman#bruce wayne#ghostmaker#minhkhoa khan#dc comics#batfam#ghostbat#ghostmaker meta#batman meta
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think part of why marc is so interesting from a rpf/general fandom perspective as a CHARACTER besides like idk, being the drama, is because yeah he’s a PR master and a frequent liar but he’s also like. so pathologically himself. spotty poker face. yapper. bad at little subtle social cues sometimes. intense. and he likes to be seen and known and understood! so even when he IS lying or doing blah blah pr speak, either there’s some layer of truth hidden near or inside the lie, his actions blatantly contradict said lie, or he will just straight up admit that he was lying later ! like he has to be himself he simply has to
#like he’s not repressed AT ALL and he is so. himself. yayyy#like again vale would rather saw off his arm than cry on camera i think… he DOESNT have any self produced little documentaries…#he deflects more than he lies…. meanwhile marc just really wants people to see him and misses a few benchmarks for seeming normal#just bc they simply do not seem to occur to him. which is SO interesting to me in the context of their feud yeah#but also what the HELL the communication would be like in that couple#vale who manipulates and blindsides and deflects vs marc who stonewalls and retreats misses the cues that things are wrong#both. insanely stubborn as well.#motogp#callie speaks#this was about his little creams in the gc vid really bc he’s like well maybe i shouldve have brought these they’re embarrassing …#and it just hadn’t really occurred to him before to bring cooler influencer stuff shhshs
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
FOR CLARIFICATION: would you get upset if you went to a musical expecting a certain actor playing a specific role, but to actually have a swing/ understudy playing instead
I ask because I have a friend who’s big into Six. She went to many shows a few years ago, literally became friends with them and knows them personally now, but now the cast has changed she refuses to see it
I’m mainly curious since I’ve been into musicals for the past ten years and I’ve never really cared which actors I get. Not that I don’t care about the actors at all, don’t get me wrong, but for example when I saw Cats, Nicole Scherzinger but we had a swing and it was still good, dare I say better. Saw Stex earlier this year and we had an understudy for Rusty and I didn’t even notice! Like yeah I love Jeevan but Scott was still amazing?? I do understand where my friend is coming from, but it’s just a little strange to me
EDIT: maybe I didn’t word this as well as I should have. I don’t mean that it’s not right to have a favourite actor/ cast. For example I’d love to see micheal crawford play the phantom! But I wouldn’t never go and see it ever again just because there’s a new phantom. BUT if he did come back and I went just to see him, am I not watching micheal crawford, not phantom of the opera?
#maybe I’m missing something but I don’t understand why people would be upset because they didn’t get the actor they wanted to see#I don’t know how to explain it but I mean no disrespect to the actors whatsoever#but surely you’re going to watch the musical? not to watch them as a person?#I guess it’s the same for actors but as a dancer when I’m on stage performing I’m not me?? I’m just a dancer#my friend is a dancer too and is friends with the cast partly because she loves the musical but also because she is working her way up#to perform at the west end just as a side note#musicals#cats musical#starlight express#six the musical#west end#andrew lloyd webber#actors#dance
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Misha: gets praised(again) or acknowledged for continuing to be the most vocal destiel and gay Cas supporter of the Cast.
Hellers on Tumblr: "how can I make this about Jensen?"
#misha collins#supernatural#castiel#destiel#it never fails#seeing posts popping up about Jackles acting choices as if certain fans on here hate to see misha get any recognition#look. idc about jacting joices. misha was mocked HEAVILY by this fandom antis and hellers alike#for his support of destiel soon as the show ended#in 2020-2022 when the cast was silent misha was out there making destiel trend regularly#folls saying he needs to move on or he's que#or he's queerbaiting#but whenever people celebrate the fact misha has always been supportive yall want to add minimize misha and make posts about Jackles#trying to make it seem like he's just as supportive when all he's done is talk around it#he said a year ago dean would have said 'i love you too' but people leave out the part about brotherhood#like Jackles ain't being silenced. he's trying to be nice about telling yall he don't sees that for dean#but mans knows he'll piss people off so he walks the neutral line and his stans act like he's heller king#while say *don't ask jensen questions about destiel or bi dean at panels*#miss me with that bullshit#Jackles THIS YEAR acknowledged that Cas *i love you* is romantic. okay but we been knew & misha been saying that#maybe in another 4 years he'll say destiel
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lucid Dreamer (1/2)
part 2
Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!
But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.
He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.
And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.
…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.
Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-
Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.
Gepard goes back home. He waits.
The uneasiness doesn't leave him.
"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.
"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.
"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.
Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."
Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.
"…I'll be back in one more week."
Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.
The hell.
The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.
Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.
He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!
Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.
He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.
He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.
He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.
"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.
"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.
"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.
Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."
Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.
Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.
Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-
"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."
Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.
"Wake up."
Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.
He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.
And he waits and he waits and he waits.
No one he recognizes appears.
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#blood#my fics#lucid dreamer#there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams#the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead#Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha#In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up#and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart#Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone#he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard#he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en#it was nice to get the chance to do all that#it was nice
105 notes
·
View notes