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hello-nichya-here · 4 years ago

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Why Ozula Makes Sense & Why It Should Be Canonized

Note: Massive Trigger Warning

Note: Yes, I already know's Nichya's opinion on Ozula. But I want to see her specific thoughts in regards to my post.

In a fan base filled with split opinions, two of the few universally held truths are that Ozai is a horrible parent and that Azula has a lot of issues. But there is a lack of consensus on whether Ozai even abused Azula and even more of a lack of consensus on the nature of his abuse if he did abuse her.

And for the record, I personally believe that at bare minimum Ozai did emotionally abuse Azula (“Trust is for fools, fear is the only reliable way” did not come out of nowhere). Not to mention turning Azula into a child soldier is obviously abuse.

But is what we see, or what is heavily implied, enough to explain everything about the Ozai-Azula relationship?

In other words, does the abuse we see, or is heavily implied, enough to explain why Azula was utterly loyal to Ozai to the point she would gleefully risk her life for him while he sat in a bunk, despite Azula being utterly pragmatic in the other aspects of her life?

Does it truly explain why Azula utterly broke after he left to burn the Earth Kingdom despite being made Fire Lord and becoming the presumptive heir to the Phoenix throne?

Moreover, where did Azula learn to flirt and/or why does she come off as sexually charged with nearly everyone she encounters (ex. Ty Lee, Sokka, Zuko) when it is canon that she has no life experience outside of being a soldier or a princess in court?

Other people have come up with headcanons and theories involving, among other things, historical context and meta-textual evidence to explain the questions that I brought up, but what if there was a more sinister answer to all of them?

What if Ozula was a thing?

Yes, I know, there is very little evidence or subtext to support this but I think that if it did occur in canon, it would not only explain a lot about Azula’s character and/or issues, but also shed some much needed light on the Ozai-Azula relationship and even Ozai himself. Especially since, despite all the extended universe material we have gotten in the decade plus since ATLA the show ended, we still don’t know that much about their relationship, or Ozai himself.

So, what is my personal take on how a canon version of Ozula?

I think that Ozai sexually abused Azula in part to replace Ursa once he “had” to banish Ursa and also in part to prepare her to produce super powerful heirs like herself in addition to using as a tool to keep her under his thumb by making her more attached to him than before he started coming on to her.

In regards to the first reason, Azula is a dead ringer for Ursa and most people would agree Ursa is one of the attractive women in the ATLA-verse. Thus, considering Ozai’s canonical entitlement issues, it must have been hard to no longer rape have sex with Ursa...that is unless he copulates with Ursa’s mini-me.

This ties into the second reason, which is the desire to produce more superpowered heirs.

Thanks to The Search, we know that Ozai married Ursa in order to fulfill a prophecy that said would have produced exceptionally powerful benders. And that prophecy was mostly proven right since Azula is the GOAT Firebender as of current canon and Zuko has surpassed, or is close to surpassing, his father while still in his late teens or very early twenties.

For most people, being the father to such prodigies would make them content in life, proud that they could call themselves father to such talented people.

But Ozai isn’t like most people for, as Ursa aptly put it, Ozai is a small man trying to appear bigger than he is, which is obviously proven by Ozai’s ambitions and desires over the years.

It was not enough that he was a prince of the most powerful nation in the world, so he must become Fire Lord at all costs. And once he achieves that by ripping his family apart and traumatizing the remaining members was enough that he was Firelord?

No! He must become the Phoenix King and build his new empire on the ashes of The Earth Kingdom despite already having it under his rule.

And it was not enough that he had a cult of personality, for Ozai commissioned larger than life statues with his package being accentuated to the point of absurdity.

So is it crazy to believe that he believes that not only is he entitled to the most beautiful woman he knows of (and if he can’t have her then he’ll have the closest thing to her even if it is his own daughter) but the most powerful heirs he could possibly have? Especially considering Ozai is a narcissist who made Azula his golden child because of his daddy issues caused by being the unfavored son of Azulon.

In other words, would it have been out of character for Ozai to fuck "himself" aka the person he thinks he would have been if Azulon recognized his “superiority” over Iroh? Especially when he can make more prodigies like himself Azula?

And in regards to the third reason, did you see how needy Azula was in regards to Ozai when they had their short little talk before Ozai crowned him as the Phoenix King?

I think Ozai, more than anyone, realized that Azula would soon quickly surpass everyone who was not a fully realized Avatar and wanted to ensure that Azula wouldn’t do the pragmatic thing and off him once she realized that she didn’t need daddy anymore. Especially after he offered his own father and betrayed his brother to take the throne.

For if he was paranoid enough to banish Ursa for her ability to make that OP poison, what makes you think he never had similar paranoid thoughts about either of his children? Especially Azula considering how strongly she takes after him and how he has been molding her in his image and ideologies ever since it was apparent she was a prodigy?

So by sleeping with her, and therefore bonding with her, he would ensure that Azula would have no motive to ever overthrow him.

And how would this work in practice?

The same way he praised her for her firebending and ruthlessness. He would likely tell that he needed her; that she was a much better (pseudo) Fire Lady than Ursa could ever be (the old nick site said Azula was renowned in court and it is plausible that she did the duties that Ursa would have done as Fire Lady); that it was one more thing that Zuko could never do better than Azula and more proof that she deserved to be his perfect tool by his side; etc.

And for the most part I think that Azula “responded” really well to Ozai’s false praise by further latching on to him, convinced more than ever that Ozai does love her and would never leave her. Especially since Ursa is gone, Iroh and Zuko are both gone at this point due to Zuko’s banishment, and Mai and Ty Lee are also already gone, or going to leave soon, leaving Azula with only Ozai as the only family and/or friend who hasn’t “abandoned” her.

Ok, so I know what you guys are going to ask next; “cool theory but how does it explain anything other than your sick fetish?”

Well, I think canon Ozula would explain a lot of things about Azula’s and Ozai’s behavior that really isn’t explained by canon or is, currently, only lightly implied.

For example, why did Ozai never remarry or produce more heirs in the five years he ruled despite putting his real heir, Azula, in constant mortal danger and spending most of that time either disowning Zuko or hunting him down as a traitor? Especially considering that he was only able to ascend since his brother was a dumbass and only had one kid himself? Not to mention the fact that Ozai is likely has a very high sex drive (have you seen his body?) yet we never see any concubines in the palace.

Well because he wanted to produce heirs with Azula and so waited until she was of age to marry her and then have his new heirs.

Why did Azula collapsed after being told to say behind despite getting the title she always desired, Ozai having a logical reason to leave her behind (people would try to invade the Fire Nation..which is what happened with Zuko and Katara), and Azula eventually getting to inherit the Phoenix Empire?

Well, Ozai leaving her behind shows that Ozai thinks all Azula is worth after her numerous failures is producing heirs, making Azula realize that his bedroom talk was all lies and that he never loved her, only saw her as a tool. Moreover, all his words about her being a better Fire Lady than Ursa are lies since they both ended up in the same spot in life; only existing as Ozai’s (unwilling) broodmares.

Why does Azula hate and hallucinate Ursa despite Ursa being by all accounts a loving mother? And why does Azula avoid and hate reflective surfaces?

Well, because Azula’s subconscious wishes that Ursa was there to protect her from the abuse and also subconsciously reckoning with the long buried knowledge that part of the reason why Ozai came onto her is because she looks like a clone of her very beautiful mother.

Moreover, it would explain why Azula thinks Ursa thought of Azula as a monster when Ursa never said anything like that or gave any indications of seeing Azula like that.

For Azula would likely think, subconsciously, why would my mother leave me with a monster unless I am a monster?

It would also explain, partially, why Azula goes from someone who is a bully, but loves & plays with her bro at 8, to someone who smiles when Zuko is burned at 13.

This is because Azula would think that all Zuko has to do to be in Ozai’s good graces is be a good firebender, a ruthless leader, and follow Ozai commands perfectly & without any hesitation.

Yet Zuko can’t even do any of that while she, in addition to previous requirements, has to give her mind, body, and soul to Ozai.

It would also explain why Azula is so frantically loyal to Ozai (and even loves him) even when it is obvious to everyone that Ozai only cares for himself (he literally groomed her); why someone could be so fucked up and go insane at the age of 14 (victims of child sex abuse end up suffering from mental illness thanks to their trauma; and also explain why Azula has such sexual mannerisms (ex. her interaction with Sokka on DoBs) and voice acting while also being the only main female character to constantly wear makeup that is quite similar to her mother’s (she is trying to appear much older than she is while also trying to “replace” her mother for her father’s sake and maybe even for her own sake as well).

Finally, it would contextualize that infamous bedroom scene, or more generally the subtle incest vibe between her and Zuko, by explaining her behavior towards him as attempt to unnerve him and/or an attempt to pass on her abuse to another person (which is very common).

So the next thing you guys are likely going to say,” Ok then. Maybe Ozula might explain a lot of things but how would you explain the fact that Azula has never shown any indication that her father touched her like that? Moreover, what would be the benefit of introducing such a dark topic into the franchise.”

Well to the first question, Azula would never bring it up because of some combo of: it is shameful as hell, she doesn't think it is wrong because it is all she knows, she still loves Ozai deep down, and/or thinks it her fault just like it was Zuko's fault for getting burned by Ozai and banished for talking out in the war council and/or not fighting back at the Agni Kai.

And as to the second question, well there would be a lot of benefits.

For example, imagine the lore/story potential we could get out of a canon Ozula, as outlined in the headcanon down below?

One of the reasons why the places like Yu Duo became quickly filled with mixed families was due to a mix of sex slaves and families selling their daughters to their wealthy colonziers.

Also the Fire Nation had an extensive sex trackiffing network to service wealthy nobles and the Firelord; Ozai was in charge of this network and was able to blackmail people like Mai's father into supporting him in court and eventually his regime, especially in the early days when it looked like Iroh might challenge Ozai.

The reason why Zhao kept getting promotions despite his incompetence was because he was the best at capturing girls/women to keep the supply running high and Ozai had to keep him happy or else Zhao would spill the beans.

The reason why Ukano supported the NOS despite Zuko offering him a job and most likely becoming his father-in-law is because he was part of the network and it was a matter of time before Zuko found out and exposed him.

Azula helped procure women for Ozai during the 3 years Zuko/Iroh were away and this is part of the reason why Ty Lee and Mai distanced themselves from her (they thought they were next even though Azula would never do that to them) & why they followed her despite loathing her until someone they cared about was going to die (they thought Azula would punish them by making them into sex slaves though Azula “cares” about them too much to ever do that to them).

Azula was also abused by Ozai in those 3 years as raping women and girls weren't enough for him anymore and needed a new kink, incest, especially since Azula looks like her mom, who is one of the most attractive women in ATLA and Ursa was long gone.

And even disregarding the lore potential, there is the potential (positive) real world impact a seriously written Ozula could have.

For it one of the best things about the Avatar franchise is its ability to deal with complex & sensitive topics such as child & spousal abuse (The Fire Nation Royal Family; Yakone’s family; Toph’s family), abusive/toxic friendships (The Dangerous Ladies), sexism (S1 Sokka & Pakku), PTSD (Korra), genocide (Airbender genocide & Southern Water Bender Genocide), propaganda/brainwashing (The Fire Nation schools & the Dai Li), and imperialism (Post-Sozin to the start of FL Zuko’s reign Fire Nation) with the respect they deserve while making it palpable to kids.

And considering the post-MeToo world we live in, what better dark and taboo topic to tackle than sexual abuse?

Especially considering that most people aren’t really aware that most victims of sexual abuse where abused by someone close to them, that most people don’t seem to recognize when such grooming occurs or that it is a bad thing until it is too late (ex. Drake Bell, Kyle Massey, Drake (The Rapper), R. Kelly, etc.), and most victims don’t react to their abuse the way most people think they should (ex. Fight back or tell others).

Thus, couldn’t Ozula be used to educate people on the signs of such grooming and/or abuse and how to properly help such victims?

I also think that seeing Azula overcome the effects of a canon Ozula could also provide healing for someone who played a pivotal role in bringing Azula to life: Grey DeLise.

It was a shock for me to find out, but Grey DeLise has repeatedly said that she got abused by people her mother let into their home and that her mother did nothing despite obviously knowing what was going on.

Considering that DeLise heavily projects onto Azula (including Azula’s relationship with Ursa), has a history of sexualizing Azula (she explicitly said she voiced the bedroom scene with Zucest in mind), and went to really dark place to record Azula’s breakdown, is it crazy to say that DeLise had Ozula as her one of personal headcanons and that it affected her Azula performance?

That is why, in combination with everything else I have said, I think Ozula has the potential to have a real impact how sexual abuse victims are treated and viewed.

Imagine Ozai plotting to remove Ursa, Azulon, Iroh, and Zuko from the palace so he could "play" with Azula unimpeded after almost being caught several different times while also taking things to the next “level”?

Imagine the goading of Azulon/Ursa's banishment and Zuko's burning/banishment all part of this plot?

Imagine Azula making inappropriate jokes about fathers breaking in their daughters to Mai & Ty Lee, causing them to be unnerved while Azula wonders what was wrong with her apt description of father-daughter relationships?

Imagine Ozai spending the next three years molding Azula to not only be his perfect pet weapon but also his future consort once she is of age.?

Imagine his anger when Azula comes home with her childhood friends and Zuko, cutting down on their alone time?

Imagine his horror when he finds out that Azula non-ironically enjoys her time with them more than him despite the fact Ozai had groomed her from a young age to only love him?

Imagine his happiness when Zuko leaves and Mai and Ty Lee are later jailed, allowing him unlimited time with Azula again, despite the hardships Azula’s lapses in judgment regarding her friends & brother. Not to mention Ozai thinking that he once again gets to be the sole attention of Azula's affections?

Imagine Ozai finding out Azula non-ironically misses her brother and friends and so he leaves her behind during Sozin's Comet as punishment for her conflicted emotions & past failures?

Imagine Ozai defeated coming home to see Azula chained, physically and mentally broken, screaming for her bitch of a mother. Only then realizing, for a fleeting moment, the damage he did to his daughter, only to go back to feeling rage at her humiliating loss & even more humiliating loss of sanity?

Imagine Ozai patiently waiting to be reunited with his pet heir and once they meet in his jail cell, convincing Azula that they can be together again if Azula can get a hold of that accursed letter and kill Ursa, the only person who could possibly refute it?

Imagine Ozai hearing that Azula failed in her mission due to being unable to kill her mother despite having Ursa literally in her hands, marking the first time Azula ever disobeyed him? Moreover, imagine his rage once he hears how she disowned him and basically dismantled from within an organization trying to reinstate him on the throne?

Imagine Ozai confronting Ursa, Iroh, and Zuko once they find out about his abuse of Azula, thinking he has once again found a way to manipulate them? Only to find out that they are through with him for good and that they will help Azula heal from his abuse.

Imagine Azula finally going through a healing arc, where with the help of well-trained healers and her mother (who she bonds with over both being victims of Ozai), she learns that what Ozai did to her was wrong, how healthy relationships actually work, & how her abuse never justified her abuse of others?

Imagine Azula then undergoing an atonement arc, where, among other things, she becomes a leading advocate for mental health issues and sexual abuse victims, eventually working with Zuko & Aang to to create shelters & a proto-CPS in addition to radically changing the Fire Nations views on sex & consent?

Imagine Azula eventually finding a loving partner and engaging in a mutually loving relationship, eventually having her own child who she raises in the exact opposite fashion that Ozai raised her while also being a loving aunt to Izumi?

Imagine Ozai thinking that Azula will one day return to him, thinking that he has irreversibly molded her to need him the same way a baby needs its pacifier. Only for him to die never being visited by Azula again, who has long stopped caring for Ozai and hasn’t spared him a thought for a long time & will never do so again?

Therefore, in sum, Ozula has the potential to do to victims of sexual abuse what the depiction of the Ozai-Zuko relationship, and Zuko eventually realizing his father is abusive & disowning, did for victims of abuse while also maybe giving DeLise some form of catharsis.

Thus, in the long list of bad things Ozai did (abuse his wife/son/daughter, kill his father/ruler, illegally urusp his bro, attempt a genocide of a continent, attempt to kill a 12 year old, turn Azula into a child solider/general, etc.) is molesting Azula the worst thing he could have done?

Or I am crazy with a need to go to a therapist for my many unresolved issues?

More Notes:

https://youtu.be/UjLzX1xPW1U?t=316

Grey: they're like 'why are you sexualizing everything?" because i do that in my whole life, my whole life is sexualized Olivia: same. that’s why Grey and I get along Grey: we've... got... abusive childhoods Olivia: uhhh Grey: uh... well I do Olivia: I don't, I just like sex! Grey: depending on who i'm doing it with... then yeah. Olivia: visibly uncomfortable Grey: I've not liked it a lot as much as I've liked it. Olivia: 0_0 Brad is like what... the hell.. is happening

Grey also talks about her abuse in an interview with Mental Illness Happy Hour where she details how her mother abandoned her to people she knew were raping her. And Grey has repeated her story in multiple interviews over the years.

----

Looooong-ass post ahead! You're not crazy, and there is subtext for Ozula... just like there is for Maizula, something I actually like but that I personally believe didn't happen - and if anyone reading this has not yet seen my first answer to why I don't think Ozai sexually abused Azula, I recommend you do so: https://hello-nichya-here.tumblr.com/post/650918965929000960/trigger-warning-i-know-you-talk-a-lot-about-how

While I see the merit of any good story, and I have read good stories that interpret Ozai and Azula's relationship as having involved sexual assault at some point, it is far more likely that in the actual canon (be it just in the show or also taking into account the comics) that simply neved happened, and I'll explain why.

About Ozai never remarrying

It would be very strange for Ozai to never try to have more heirs, and constantly endanger the ones he does have... until we remember that the only noble family in Avatar that has more than two kids is Ty Lee's, and that there are people like Kyoshi who literally over two centuries old when she died. Avatar is a very mature kid's show, but it is still a kid's show, with characters who control the elements and don't get a single scratch on them in situations that would severely injure or kill a normal human being, and the writers likely didn't want to add more characters to an already complicated, political plot like the Fire Nation Royal Family - which is why Iroh never remarried, Azulon's wife was already dead, there were no Lu Ten flashbacks, etc. If they went to such lengths to avoid creating too many characters, it makes sense that Zuko and Azula have no step-mother and no half-siblings in the show. Furthermore, the show clearly wanted to push Azula and Zuko's rivalry - adding another sibling would force their attention (and ours) to shift to said sibling, which is why Kiyi only was created in the comics that were focusing on the royal family, after Zuko became Fire Lord, and even then she is Ursa's daughter but not Ozai's, meaning Azula is still the only real "rival" Zuko has.

Ozai's supposed obsession with Ursa

Despite the radical change in the story of their marriage, I'd say that Ozai was NOT obsessed with Ursa, be it in the show where she consented to marry him, or in the comics where she kidnapped and raped. Princes were expected to marry and have heirs, and the war meant they'd need to have powerful heirs. He married Ursa (against her will or otherwise depending on the version of the story), had two kids with her (the standard in their universe), and encouraged said kids to be ruthless, punishing them when didn't meet his expectations (the Agni Kai and Zuko's banishment were cruel, but they were the type of behavior the Fire Nation rewarded). We need to remember that Ozai's only real problem with the hierarchy and expectations of his nation was when he had to see his brother be Fire Lord instead of him, because Ozai's only real obsession was the crown.

Yet he didn't kill his father until Ursa came up with a plan to do it so she could save Zuko, didn't kill Iroh, smiled in disdain when Zuko said he would help the Avatar defeat him, and constantly endangered Zuko and Azula despite having no other heirs. That behavior might seem strange, until you realize Ozai did truly respect the autority of Fire Lord at one point, but after he managed to steal the crown, he felt like he won absolutely everything - and to prove that he became the Phoenix King, showing he was above even that. He didn't need Ursa, Azula, or any other woman to give strong heirs, because Azula was already filling that role. There is no evidence he was obsessed with Ursa because he only married her because it was the norm (same logic applies to the possible sexual abuse she suffered - she was supposed to give her husband heirs, so Ozai forcing himself on her could easily just be him doing what was expected of him), and then once she was no longer needed and he would actually be in a more favorable position if she disappeared he CHOSE to banish her - the law said he had to punish her for killing Azulon, but the law also said he shouldn't have let her kill his father in the first place. And in the comics he threated to kill both their kids if she came back. If he was obsessed with her, he would have used their kid's lives to force her to stay and never say a word about what happened to his father. But didn't do that, because he didn't want Ursa around.

Could he be obsessed with Azula herself instead of thinking of her as a replacement for Ursa?

I personally don't think so, mostly because of his actions towards both his kids and because of the intentions the writers had. During The Beach, Ozai sends Azula away for a little while with Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee. On the meeting before the eclipse, he had Zuko at his right hand. On their last scene together, Ozai looks annoyed that Azula is around, stabs her in the back, lies to her face, and then leaves her. Finally, when he is last seen on screen, he doesn't ask Zuko what happened to her, if she is in prison, if she lost her bending too, if she is dead... nothing.

Ozai's behavior towards Azula is much more similar to his treatment of Zuko than most people realize. He shuts them both down when try to be anything other useful weapons - be it when they are showing "weakness", failing on their missions, trying to betray him, or trying to be equals to him. His reaction to Zuko's "All I ever wanted was for you to love me" was basically the same he had to Azula's "I thought we were going to do this together/This was my idea/I deserve to be by your side/You can't treat me like Zuko". He instantly told them both to shut the fuck up. He has no affection for them - for Azula - be it a normal one or a twisted one. They might as well not exist when they're not winning him battles.

On top of all that, comics!Ozai full on said he'd kill Zuko and Azula if Ursa didn't stay away, and considering how little regard he showed to anyone and how easy it would be for him to find a new wife if he had to, it is very clear he meant it. And a plot-line that was originally going to happen in book 3 but was cut (likely due to there not being enough time to explore it) had Ozai planning an arranged marriage for Azula - if he wanted her for himself, why was he more than ready to give her away to some rando the second she was old enough to marry?

Intention of the writers VS Intention of the actors

Assuming Grey did want there to have, at the very least, subtext for Ozula, we still run into a different problem: her intention goes against what is presented in canon. With something like Zucest or Tyzula, it is easier to make it work despite the pairings not being canon - they are meant to be complicated, unhealthy dynamics in which the characters involved have both negative and positive feelings for each other. So you could say Zuko and Azula were attracted to each other AND were still rivals. You could say Azula was in love with Ty Lee, and the feeling was mutual, but Ty Lee still chose to save Mai at the boiling rock regardless because it was the right thing to do for her friend.

With Ozula, however, it'd lead to a Zutara-esque situation (again, assuming Grey really did want that subtext to exist, since she didn't specify if that was what she meant when she said she went into a dark place while acting Azula's scenes in the finale). Dante Basco, aka Zuko, is the capitain of the Zutara ship, so any scene between Zuko and Katara gets at least a bit of subtext (and Zutara actually had full on ship-bait moments)... but the show also made it clear that the characters were NOT interested in each other like that, and they both ended up with different people. That means Zutara has some base for it, but it is still NOT CANON. Ozula is on even less solid ground since the overwhelming majority of the text activelly goes against it - again, Ozai seemed uniterested in both his wife and his daugheter, and activelly tried to distance himself from them.

How Azula flirts VS how she acts around Ozai

If we assume all of Azula's behaviors towards people like Zuko and Sokka was indeed intentional, we need to ask ourselves: was it really flirting or an attempt to unnerve them?

With that assumption in mind, I mostly see her actions towards Sokka as having been based on a display of power instead of flirting, but I can understand if people disagree. I fully believe she was attracted to Zuko and wanted both to intimidate him and flirt with him, and even discussed it at length on the link bellow (and offered another possible explanation of why she might not have been interested in Sokka after all) https://hello-nichya-here.tumblr.com/post/654197363889635328/zucest-is-it-really-flirting

When we take that behavior into account, regardless of motivation, and then compare it to her actually trying to flirt with Chan, we see that Azula has different styles of flirting, both of which are based on warpped perceptions of how normal interactions work - one having a predator/prey vibe with open ridicule, and the other with awkward/false flattery that is accidentally insulting and/or scary.

However, if we look at how she acts with Ozai, we see that she acts like a completely different person. She is very respectful and very distant - sort of how servants and guards act around her. That shows that despite her love for her father being actual canon (unlike any attraction she possibly felt for any character) their relationship is VERY formal. Azula doesn't take any liberties with her father, making it very unlikely that she learned her more "inapropriate" behaviors from him.

Azula's trauma

Azula was neglected by her mother and turned into a child soldier by her father. In Zuko Alone, we see Ursa spending a lot of time with Zuko but not with Azula, harshly reprimanding her without trying to understand her motives (like when she asked Zuko why he hurt the turtle-ducks), and even asking "What is wrong with that child?". Add in the over the top neglect she faced in the comics, the obvious guilt Azula was starting to feel for her actions in book 3, as well as the fact that a parent suddenly leaving like Ursa did can severely affect their child's mental health (which was likely to have been fragile in the first place considering Azula's more distressing behavior as a kid, as well as the psychological torment and hallucinations she dealt with in the finale) it makes perfect sense for Azula to believe her mother saw her as monster. Her claim that their mother liked Zuko more and her reaction to Mai's "I love Zuko more than I fear you" shows that her problems with her mother come believing she was not loved while her brother was - could she have also wanted Ursa to be there to protect her from sexual abuse? Sure. She could have simply wanted her mother to procted her from literally anything, or just be by her side and be proud of her.

This trauma also explains her freaking out as Ozai left her in the finale. She had recently lost Zuko, Ty Lee and Mai - the later of the three having accidentally touched an old, open wound of hers. Ozai was all she had left, and he turned his back on her after all she did for him. That was the last straw, and finally broke. You can add sexual assault or literally any kind of abuse to the story to explore a new theme/possibility, but it not existing in canon is not a plot-hole because the story works perfectly without it.

Imagine...

"Imagine Ozai killed Azulon and banished Ursa and Zuko so he could have Azula to himself, abused her, and then was mad when she brought Zuko home, with Mai and Ty Lee coming along"

I can imagine it. What I cannot is remember it. It can be a good, important, cathartic story, but is not the story we saw in the show. In the show we saw Ursa planning Azulon's death, not Ozai. We saw how his abuse was 99% purely psychological. We saw Ozai banish Zuko years after he supposedly got rid of the other two impediments of his abuse to Azula. We saw him not giving a damn about Mai and Ty Lee being around, welcoming Zuko home and rewarding him for "killing the Avatar", and then making Azula leave with them. And above all, we saw him shut Azula down the second she tried to have any kind of relationship with him that involved being anything more than a killing-machine.

Ozula can be an interesting plot, but said plot exists solely in theory and fanfics, not in the actual canon.

#submission #azula #ozai #azula meta #ozula #abuse #rape #ursa #long post #ridiculously long post

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ilikedetectives · 4 years ago

Note

Thanks for saying it. As a trans woman I was side-eyeing that hashtag the moment I read the “movement explained” post last year saying this:

That wording (from the most prominent voice!) directly implies that there’s an acceptable criteria for womanhood and women outside those criteria don’t count. This kind of thinking always ends up targeting gnc cis women too because they’re not the “right” women, no surprise it happened here. (Apparently a gay cis man is more worth defending to them than gnc and sapphic women too?)

Plus a quick google search would easily tell them Kassandra and Eivor were envisioned as “masculine” as they are now even before the male options were designed? Official ACV concept art for Eivor’s character design even states lady Eivor was designed first and that male Eivor was based off of HER. But sure they’re “shells” based on men 🙄

Looks like they’ve chosen to “highlight, appreciate and support” the fact that queer, gnc women aren’t real women because these women are simply men’s “shells” for being masculine and queer.

Oh I’m so glad that you see this and stay tf away. Aren’t these the same breed that were sooooo outraged after reading and citing that Forbes article by Jason Schreier last year, “OMG Kassandra and Aya/Amunet originally were supposed to be the protagonist, I’m so oUTraGEd and feel rOBbeD that Ubisoft took this from us”? You’d think with all the devs that they are good friends with, they should know by now that Kassandra and f!Eivor were designed first in mind, then the male counterparts were added AFTER being forced by higher-ups and marketing. The Montreal writers keep having to reassure people that everything about Eivor is intentional and they have always intended that Eivor is a female. The first name alone, Eivor, is a female name. I think the devs already know they’d have to deal with idiots, so they added Varinsdottir in her last name (dottir means “daughter”), but I think the devs still underestimate their level of stupidity. They sure are attentive to plot details when it involves their brotherhood though, but women? *wheeze* They love AC2 sfm but it didn’t take them until last year to realize how dirty Aya/Amunet treated. Nobody paused when Origins was announced to say, but Amunet statue? Pleaseeee *wheeze* For them to go around saying that Kass and f!Eivor are just “shells” based on men and now, practically calling the devs lazy because making them masculine to save time/effort in development time really shows their true colors. If a woman isn’t slim-af-and-only-attracted-to-cishet men, then they’re not women. gnc, queer, trans women? I don’t need to take a guess to see what they view these women as. These fake feminists don’t find it disrespectful that Kass and f!Eivor are pushed aside for the male shells to take the spotlight, but they find Kass and f!Eivor being masculine and queer disrespectful. Someone please turn on “Send in the Clowns'' for me, I prefer the Judi Dench version.

You know what I find hypocritical about these fake feminist breeds? When they call for more female assassins content, they never once invalidate their beloved male protags, “We’re not here to cancel m!Eivor/Alexios/Bayek/Jacob/Arno, we just want more of f!Eivor/Kassandra/Amunet/Evie/Elise/Aveline”, but now that they have more backers, they immediately turn around and dismiss the only two AAA female protags as women because they’re “too masculine, like men.” That’s right! f!Eivor walking like a man and both Kass and f!Eivor wear male armors and are attracted to women automatically dismiss their existence as gnc, queer women. Being a masculine, queer woman somehow exempt them both from sexism because these two are just “men’s shells”? What kinda Isu drugs are they on? Now I wish f!Eivor had a true buff Viking body in her vanilla state (I know there’s muscles mod by amisthiosintraining and I, but still), because what else are these fake feminists gonna trash her on? f!Eivor is a shell for m!Eivor? *wheeze* What could’ve been said was, “I want a female-protag-only game because then the devs can focus all their time and effort on her story, for her” or “Ubisoft should give the devs more time, resources, and creative freedom to give players more historical context of the struggles the female protags have to deal with, compared to male protags”. For example: a side quest with Aspasia as she deals with how sexist people (surprise, women can be sexist too) were towards her as perhaps the most educated, influential woman in Athens at the time. Or how Kassandra had to fight her way to be allowed to compete in the Olympics. That’s all that’s needed to be said. There’s nothing wrong with asking/wanting a feminine female protag who is gender-conforming, but it says a lot about their true view of women when they drag gnc and queer women down to parade their idea of a superior woman.

But what did these fake feminists choose to “highlight, appreciate and support” instead? Oh that’s right, disregarding both Kassandra and f!Eivor as inferior women, because them fakers don’t deemed masculinity and queerness as the aUThenTIc female experience they want to play as. You know what’s worse? Pitting these female characters together to rate how “feminine” each of them are to deem which ones are more “real” as a woman. Can you imagine them doing that to the male protags? Knowing full well that the devs’ hands were tied when it comes to creative freedom when making Kassandra and f!Eivor, but still go around and shit on the devs for being “lazy”, while dismissing Kassandra f!Eivor experience as women because of their gnc and queerness. What kinda Beta Sigma (BS) is this? Oh I think I know the answer: reinforcing their ideas of what they find acceptable for their version of a woman. Honestly, it’s not the first time gnc, queer women are shit on in AC, remember that cursed DLC from Odyssey? Yea. I expect nothing more from Ubisoft-certified fans. Watch, if we somehow get a female-lead AAA game next installment and she happens to be queer, gnc, and godforbid to their fEMinISt standards, she happens to be trans as well, these fakers would most likely scream, “We support women. We want the REAL woman experience”. But if she happens to conform into their fEMinISt standards, you’ll get to hear how she’s their most favorite protag since Ezio cuz she’s a “real woman”. Again, nothing wrong with gender-conforming, feminine women, but using them as THE superior example, this fuckery/fakery reeks.

One last general tip from Doctor Who, “Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward.” Look closely and you’ll see what those advantages and rewards are.

p/s: Didn’t Ubisoft CEO just appoint his family member(s) to be in charge, while there were also discussion on how the new directors are no better than the sexist, racist ones that were fired/let-go? Sounds to me like it’s business as usual again. Or us Vietnamese have a saying, “It’s easier for rivers and mountains to change than human’s nature to even budge” (giang sơn dễ đổi, bản tính khó dời). I find it so ironic that “gaslight gatekeep girlboss” is trending on my dash.

#I'm no Pythia but I saw this light years away #handsomejaclyn #f!Eivor #Eivor #Kassandra #ac valhalla #ac odyssey #aya #amunet #evie frye #elise #ac origins #ac syndicate #aveline #ac liberation #ac unity #Cisterhood #misogynistic feminists

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gray-warden · 5 years ago

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can u explain how butches and femmes are counterparts and not opposites? or how femmes arent like lipstick lesbians? im not trying to be argumentative im just a very confused gay girl who Wants to Understand

First of all, sorry for taking like 50 years to answer your ask! I hope you still see the answer, though femmes and butches come from the same piece of history, where they were two sides of the same coin, a sort of “ying and yang”, if you’ll forgive the cliché. it’s more of an attraction to something that’s different but also the same in some ways, someone who might balance you out in a way in their differences but still gets where you’re coming from. it’s not uncommon for femmes to have previously thought they were butches because they felt a connection to the butch/femme history and dynamic but also felt alienated from womanhood due to their lesbianism. plus, two things being seen as opposites kinda often implies that there’s something in between those things, which isn’t the case here. butch/femme isn’t a “lesbian gender binary”, and the whole “futch scale” thing isn’t how it works, it was sort of a joke that got out of hand and led to many people misunderstanding identities that are important to many people. a stone butch isn’t just a super masculine and tough butch. “soft butch” meaning “butch who isn’t super muscular and who is sensitive” ignores that those things don’t make any butch less butch in the first place.femme is just an older identity and it just kinda goes hand-in-hand with butch because they have shared origins, and originally, in the past, the typical dynamic was a butch and a femme being together or seeking each other. it’s about complementing each other by having differences that work with each other, rather than differences that clash, and by having similarities that bring deeper understanding. of course stuff has changed, butches can date other butches ofc (there’s not really a different term for “gnc lesbian who exclusively or mostly seeks other gnc women”, and butchness, while it is a specific identity and a sort of “role”, is very associated with a specific kind of appearance. plus, many butches hear some dumbass shit about butchness even among wlw, so some of us might seek other butches so we finally feel understood. or just because they find other butches hot, which, in my opinion, is very understandable lol).also, a femme doesn’t necessarily have to always be super typically feminine, there’s an association with an older type of identity or role, so many femmes these days might incorporate a few things that could be considered gender nonconforming, like not shaving, not wearing makeup, having super short hair or buying some clothing articles from the men’s section (usually not all at once i guess? idk, i’m just giving a few examples). some might not use “she/her” and might not really see themselves as part of womanhood.or they might be very traditionally feminine, as many are.of course there are lesbians who might do any of those things but aren’t femmes, but that’d be because they just aren’t drawn to the identity, don’t long for a certain type of dynamic in their life, don’t feel connected to that part of history. most lesbians just aren’t butches or femmes. it’s not a bad thing, or a deep thing, most lesbians just aren’t! it’s a subculture, and that’s for a reason.but basically, butches and femmes just have more in common than we have differences. they’re complementary identities.originally, in specific contexts where those terms came up, butches and femmes were just seen as the possible different “types” of lesbians who seeked each other for relationships, sex, companionship, understanding, etc. it was originally a thing that came from lesbian bars, frequented by working-class women. so many butches and femmes worked in the same types of places (factories, often), so they still lived in the same type of context (though many femmes were sex workers, and that’s also an important thing to know, i don’t wanna seem like i’m ignoring it, but i’m not going deep into it bc in that case what they shared was still that they were also working class). of course many butches and femmes now aren’t working class, but those are the origins of those identities, and we should never forget who came before us.of course there are lots of differences between how lesbian working class bars were a few decades ago and how butch/femme is as a subculture now. the current subculture largely relies on writings from people who were always butches and always femmes back in the day, rather than those who sort of had to make themselves fit into one of those things because that was the expectation in those bars but otherwise didn’t feel connected to a certain identity or role outside of the specific context of the bars and relationships. so the modern butch/femme thing is, first of all, a subculture, because we don’t want people who don’t really connect to being a butch or a femme to feel like they have to fit in there, because if you don’t then you just don’t and there’s obviously nothing wrong with that, that’s why it’s a subculture, most lesbians just aren’t part of it, the same way most people aren’t parts of other subcultures. and since it’s so very based on the historic records left by people who were always butches and always femmes, regardless of where they were, who they were with, etc, it’s also about a constant identity now, rather than being someone who calls themselves a butch in a context where it’s about women seeking women but otherwise doesn’t really feel a connection to the identity in my experience, many femmes get annoyed at women who say they’re femme4femme bc they say that that’s why the term “lipstick lesbian” exists in the first place, as most women who call themselves “femme4femme” usually just mean “feminine woman seeking feminine woman”, using “femme” to just mean “feminine”. so that’s why there’s often an annoyance there.i’m not saying that a femme has to /exclusively/ be into gnc women to be a femme. just that being a femme and being a feminine lesbian don’t mean the same thing, and generally, femmes in the current butch/femme subculture often have at least a preference for butches, due to a desire for a specific kind of dynamic in relationships and anything surrounding that. there’s just a specific kind of historical connection and a sort of role connected to butchness and femmeness. it’s a subculture that’s more than just about what you look like and what the people you’re into look like. “butch” gets tied to a certain kind of appearance a lot more than femme does, as it’s a kind of appearance that stands out on its own, without the person saying anything about their identity, so many femmes rely on that connection to a specific part of history and certain desires and dynamics and roles a lot when it comes to their identity as femmes.lipstick lesbian is a term that sometimes just refers to very feminine lesbians, but very often specifically to feminine lesbians who exclusively or at least mostly seek other feminine lesbians. and to my knowledge there’s not any kind of deeper connection to any older identity or culture there, it’s like “masc4masc” or something like that, it’s just a description of your personal kind of aesthetic and the kind of aesthetic you find desirable (i’m not trying to imply there’s anything wrong with that, of course! just that it’s not the same as being a femme, but of course two things not being the same doesn’t automatically mean one is better than the other, which is something i want to make clear throughout this whole huge answer to your ask).idk, i’m no expert or anything, and i’m also just not great at explaining things, i tend to ramble a bit and i sometimes express myself in a way that was clear enough for other people, and sometimes i end up talking a lot. also, there just isn’t much butch/femme history where i’m from, at least not any /recorded/ history, there aren’t always words that describe the exact same things (of course there are people like me and people who are like many femmes, though, we’ve always existed, but there’s not really much of a butch/femme type of community thing because our history and words are different, and there’s generally fairly little LGBT or specifically wlw or lesbian history recorded), so this is about what i know of butch/femme culture in the US and online (since the latter relies on the former).there are a lot of people out there who talk abt butch/femme a lot, people who have read and watched and experienced more stuff connected to that, so you could ask people like that if you need more information (you can ask me, of course, i’m just saying they’ll know more), esp when it comes to femmes, since i don’t have their specific perspective on differences between femmes vs feminine lesbians who aren’t femmes, or on the femme4femme thing, which means i’m only talking based on my understanding of what they say, rather than from personal experience as a femme, just because i’m not one. (part of the reason why it took me a while was bc i asked some people i know, one butch and one femme, both have more knowledge about this stuff than me, esp the latter, to see if there were any inaccuracies they could see or something i didnt express well)

#Anonymous #anon #ask #asks #answered

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dweemeister · 4 years ago

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As tagged by @themusicmoviesportsguy! Holy crap everyone, I ramble. Apologies!

rules: tag 9 people who you want to know better / catch up with and then answer these questions

TAGGING (I’m tagging more than 9 because it’s been a while): @derricklogan2, @dog-of-ulthar, @introspectivemeltdown, @maximiliani, @memetoilet, @mundi41, @myluckyerror, @neverwasastoryofmorewhoa, @plus-low-overthrow, @sadisticsunglasses @theybecomestories, and @voicetalentbrendan. Anybody else who wants to do this can do this as well!

last song: From the radio (yes, I listen to RADIO)... “Windy” by The Association. I’m historically terrible at getting lyrics correctly no matter the era or genre - I don’t remember the first time I ever googled a song’s lyrics, but I probably was very excited to correct myself. As might be very understandable in this instance, I thought this song was “Wendy” for a long time. But if the YouTube comments are to go by, more than a few Wendys like this song!

last movie: On a rewatch? The Three Caballeros (1944; my write-up from five years ago is in the link). It’s a fascinating film from its unabashed use of color, a very early melding of animation and live-action, Donald Duck lusting over human women (wouldn’t Daisy be jealous?), and the two charismatic co-leads in Jose Carioca and Panchito Pistoles. It’s no propaganda film, but I guess the movie did its job from preventing former Nazis and fascists from settling in Latin America to escape punishment for their deeds!

As a film completely new to me? Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972, Japan). It’s the second of a six-film series based on the manga Lone Wolf and Cub. I passed on writing a review for the first film, as I will for the rest of the series (at least for now). I’m not the biggest fan of the decision in samurai movies to have the blood spraying out of crumpling bodies like a pressure hose, but I see why this series appeals. Outside of The Mandalorian, I’m surprised that the Lone Wolf and Cub series hasn’t influenced more movies and television - the action scenes are strikingly staged from what I’ve seen so far (the first two films).

currently reading: When it comes down to a presidential election season, this sounds a bit sad, but this is usually the least likely time that I am reading any book for fun. The United States’ and Orange County’s handling of the pandemic has also contributed to this. So other than the numerous news articles and feature pieces, I’ve read several essays on certain films I’m writing on in the coming days. Thankfully (or unfortunately depending on how you see it), there has been a lot written about Elvis movies - the good, the bad, and the mediocre. There’s a lot of mediocre Elvis movies. I’m gonna need help soon from classic Bollywood-knowledgeable friends, though.

currently watching: If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’re pretty tired of the Gargoyles and Gravity Falls spam on this blog in recent weeks. My sister and I finished both recently and I am attempting to complete both series’ summer run in the queue on August 31. After that, both will appear more sporadically. I think the best thing for GF is to cycle it in the queue every summer, similar to how I restrict certain Peanuts specials to a specific part of the year (and how I mostly restrict Over the Garden Wall’s appearances on this blog to autumn, especially October). But that’s the recent past.

Right now, two extremely different animated series. The first is The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (thank you to my friend for sharing her Disney+ account). My sister and I haven’t seen the series in ~20 years, and I was curious to see if it has held up. I think, as an extension of the original Disney Winnie the Pooh films and A.A. Milne’s works, it’s exceptionally respectful to young children and the parents that would presumably be watching with them. That’s hard to do. For a late ‘80s/early ‘90s series, the backgrounds are drop-dead gorgeous and you can tell Disney threw a lot of money at this series. The other TV series is Star Trek: Lower Decks. We’re only three episodes in, so no judgments from me yet... I don’t understand people who base their television criticism based on less than half a season.

Currently sitting in the DVR awaiting to be completed is The Little Colonel (1935), starring Shirley Temple, Lionel Barrymore, and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson. This is the film with the famous staircase dance between Temple and Robinson* (who struck up an interracial, intergenerational friendship that lasted until Robinson’s death). Given all the problematic films that are featured on this blog, I’m just curious why I haven’t been cancelled yet.

* Yes, I linked the black-and-white original. I fucking refuse to promote colorized prints of black-and-white films for reasons of artistic integrity (unless the colorization was done in consultation/with the approval of the principal creative figures... the instances of which are close to zero).

currently craving: If you can call a trip to the movie theater a craving, sure! Though it may be a craving, California won’t be letting those open for a while. And I don’t feel safe going to a theater upon reopening. It probably will be many months - maybe *shudder* a year - at the rate things are going.

working on anything rn?: *deep breath* These are almost all long-term things...

Thinking about a career pivot.

An extremely informal consultancy gig I’m doing with an old professor of mine on a documentary film she is spearheading.

Continued archiving of all My Movie Odyssey reviews onto Google Drive (this has stalled lately due to the above). The archiving is being done in the hopes of launching a parallel blog in 2021 (WordPress? something else?) which would contain only my movie reviews - this tumblr would remain (and the reviews will still be posted here) for as long tumblr is a viable medium to attract a new reader or two.

Making mental notes about how to approach this blog’s next marathon (“Women Make Film” - Tuesday evenings from Sept. 1-Dec. 1).

In October, I’ll start making preparations for the preliminary rounds of the 2020 Movie Odyssey Award for Best Original Song. Of course we’re doing it again!

And of course, the Movie Odyssey write-ups.

currently playing: Nothing at this moment, but I do admit having a Civilization VI phase in recent months (I suck and barbarians stress me out - yes I know you’re supposed to take out the scout ASAP). That may or may not pick up again.

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keywestlou · 4 years ago

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Ho Ho Yogi Bear

DAY 11…..Greece the First Time

Posted on June 7, 2012 by Key West Lou

Ho ho Yogi Bear! I am having a terrific time!

Donkeys have become a part of my life all of a sudden. First in Navaro when I discovered horse meat and donkey meat were sold in butcher shops for human consumption. Donkey was viewed to horse meat as veal is to cattle meat. Now donkeys in Santorini.

Before I made the trip, many told me to be sure to ride the donkeys up and down the hill. The hill that in reality is a mountain of lava.

I saw the donkeys yesterday for the first time. I was taking a walk along the other road. The road that runs between the cave hotel apartments and lesser accommodations. Actually the other side of the road is where the working people of Santorini live. Much like Stock Island is to Key West.

All of a sudden, I came upon eight donkeys on the side of the road. All saddled up and ready to go. What beautiful animals! I am a horse lover of sorts. The horses that race at Saratoga. Especially up close. Magnificent beasts. So too were these donkeys. Beautiful shiny coats. Ears standing straight up. Big bright eyes. Muscular legs. Very muscular.

These donkeys carry people up and down the side of a nearby lava mountain. On a path running along the side. Along a five foot wide path has been constructed 2,000 feet plus long. It consists of 500 plus steps. The steps of varying widths. A short 3 foot wall on the ocean side.

The ride did not appeal to me. I did not wish to be an ass on an ass. I was fearful of either the donkey or me or both of us falling over the wall. I raised that issue with the man in charge of the donkeys. I think I insulted him. He told me very firmly that no donkey or person had ever even fallen off the path into the ocean.

The path was made of dirt and rocks.

I had Nikos give me a ride in his car down the mountain.

The volcano sitting out in the water is like a magnet. It draws me to it. I have decided to visit the volcano in the next few days. I want to look into the opening and its depths. I want to view the smoke and sulfur and whatever else my eyes can see.

The volcano is not too high. Most of it sunk into the sea. So I should be able to walk to the top.

There is an added attraction. There are springs periodically spraying water and smoke. Baths from the emissions are available on site. I want to bathe in these waters. Supposedly healthful, I will be doing it merely for the experience.

Santorini is the largest of the several islands which were born 3,500 years ago when the volcano had its major eruption. It is big. How large, I am not sure. Larger than Key West I do know.

The whole island has a mere 13,000 permanent residents. Compared to Key West which has 19,000.

Santorini is the name of the whole island. There are several villages and towns located on the island. I am staying in Oia, one of those towns. People are nice here. Just as in Key West.

Sociable, helpful.

I spoke of beauty parlor proprietor Catherine Risvani yesterday. Catherine owns the only beauty shop in Oia. One to a town, I guess. Called Hair & Soul. It is a beautifully done small place. Two chairs, two sinks, a manicure station and a counter. Two lovely ladies working for her. Catherine gave me a manicure this week.

Catherine is lovely in appearance. A typical Grecian beauty. Tall, thin and blond. Hair swept up and somehow tied in back. Interestingly, I have yet to find a Grecian woman who wears her hair down. Catherine also has high cheek bones. Another trait of Grecian women.

The bill for the manicure was 20 euros. About $28 american money. I was out of euros. I asked Catherine if she took credit cards. No. So I took out one of my $100 bills and told her to hold it while I went to the ATM machine for euros. She would not take the $100. Strangers though we were, she trusted me. In a tourist town. Typical of the Greeks here.

Which brings me to Nikos and Maria. Proprietors of my cave accommodation. Nikos and Maria are around 60. Own the Filotera Cave Houses aka Filotera Villas. A superior accommodation. Consistent with historical Santorini.

They and their son Adonis work their asses off. They have staff, but work along with staff from very early morning to late at night.

When I first arrived and met Maria, she was in a dress and apron. Smiling always. She does not speak English. I no Greek. Yet we have had several conversations. Each of us has spoken our native tongue. We understood each other!

I figured after first meeting Maria that she was the typical Mama Mia. A dress and apron. Always cooking and cleaning. Always watching the grandchildren.

Was I wrong!

The next time I saw Maria she was in peddle pushers and a tee shirt. Directing the employees.

Nice people these two.

It was Maria’s birthday the day I arrived. She sent a piece of birthday cake to my rooms. Nikos picked me up at the airport. Nikos drives me where ever I have to go. And picks me up. Their caves are lovely and clean. Very clean. Take a look at them. www.filoteravillas.gr, www.filoteravillas.com and www.santorini.com/hotels/filoteravillas. These sites will give you a flavor of cave living. They will surprise you!

The second day here, their son Adonis showed up with a bottle of wine. He said it was from his father’s vineyards. A special brew. Please enjoy it. I did, the next day. A cross between a white and red. A distinctive special taste.

Yes, Nikos and Maria besides owning the cave villas also own a vineyard and wine producing facility on Santorini. They ship world wide.

Nikos and Maria live across that street I mentioned earlier. In a small apartment less accommodating than the caves. In November, it gets cold on Santorini. They move to their home on the other side of the island. When it gets colder, they move to their home in Athens. During the winter months, they generally take a one to two month trip to the Caribbean or South Pacific.

It gets better.

Santorini and the Greek isles are not the United States. Many amenities we are accustomed to do not exist or are not provided. Like my clothes getting washed and ironed.

I was warned before I embarked on this odyssey that such would be the case. I came prepared. Purchased shirts and shorts at Orvis. That special material that is light, easy to wash and dry. Generally requiring little or no ironing.

I wash my own clothes. For real. Easy. In the bathroom sink. Drop some dish washing fluid on the clothes. A bit of water. Wash with my hands. Then shake dry.

The clothes still need hanging. Dryers are not common place on the island. Could not hang the clothes in front of my cave accommodation. It would not look right nor would it be proper.

There are clothes lines across the street at the cheaper accommodation. I hung my first washing there to dry. When I returned that evening, Maria came out to greet me. She insisted on ironing my clothes. My savior in disguise!

If you ever plan to come to Santorini, stay with Nikos and Maria. You cannot do better. Their telephone number is 003022860 71110. Fax number 003022860 71555. E-mail [email protected].

Enough for today.

There is much still to share.

This afternoon I am going to a beach somewhere on this island. Where I am guaranteed seeing bare breasted women. And, if I am lucky, some bare assed ones.

Enjoy your day!

As I have said in the past, vaccine distribution to Monroe County and Key West is not good. We seem to be forgotten. It appears political pull helps in getting enough vaccine to take care of an area.

Monroe County and Key West seem to be lacking in that regard.

I am happy for the person in Pensacola who was reported to have had excellent service. Not the case here. And none of us are doing anything wrong!

This morning’s Citizens’ Voice had two interesting comments re vaccine distribution/availability.

“Citizens of Monroe County should be outraged that the Medical Center at Ocean Reef, a private club, was allowed to administer 4,000 vaccines that were not available to the public, only to club members. This represents over 85 percent of the vaccine provided Monroe County.”

“Now I know why after five tries I am unable to get an appointment for the vaccine: politics trumps health.”

Eugene Robinson is one one of the Washington Post’s finest columnists. He also has a touch of Key West in him. Every year, he and his wife spend one month in Key West. Normally January. They were not here in January. Probably the virus.

Robinson’s Washington Post column this morning is titled “To Rebuild the Grand Old Party, First Tear It Down.”

A passage from the column: “Before a sane, responsible political party can rise like a phoenix from the ashes of today’s dangerously unhinged GOP, there must be ashes to rise from. The nation is going to have to destroy the Republican Party to save it.”

Biden has been impressive so far. As he will continue to be. I have faith in the man.

He is moving fast. The stimulus package, foreign matters, vaccine, etc.

It is very true that you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

Biden spoke before the National Prayer Breakfast. Called out white supremacy and domestic terrorism. And a multitude of other things.

Brian Burch is the President of CatholicVote. After the Breakfast, Burch slammed him for backing abortion and transgenderism. I do not know if Biden mentioned either during his talk. I suspect not.

One old, the other relatively new. Burch forgets that Biden, as with any President, represents all the people and not just one segment.

John Kennedy had a similar problem. Directed primarily at his Catholic faith. His response simple and understandable: “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and to God that which is God’s.”

Christopher Plummer died. An outstanding actor. His age at death 91. Did not pass away under normal circumstances. He fell and struck his head. The blow to his head resulted in his death.

One of Plummer’s most famous roles was that he performed in The Sound of Music.

His movies many. However, Plummer most enjoyed his Shakespearean performances. He considered himself a Shakespearean actor rather than a movie one. His famous Shakespearean parts were his performances in Hamlet, Macbeth, Richard III, and as Mark Anthony.

He won his first and only Oscar at age 82. He also was rewarded with 2 Tony and 2 Emmy Awards.

John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men was published this day in 1937.

Steinbeck had a marked influence on my young life. My parents had purchased several volumes of Steinbeck’s works. For their enjoyment, not mine.

I was about 10. The books attracted me.

I would sit in a huge easy chair in the living room. A thick red dictionary at my side.

The first work I read was Of Mice and Men. Obviously I did not understand everything. One thing the book did however was to increase my vocabulary and expose me to a world I did not know. Some of which I was happy not to have experienced.

Over a period of time, I also read The Grapes of Wrath and several other Steinbeck works whose names at the moment I cannot recall.

Looking back, the reading I did probably was not uncommon. There were no television or cell phones in those days. Yes, there was radio. However radio did not particularly turn me on except for baseball.

Enjoy you day!

Ho Ho Yogi Bear was originally published on Key West Lou

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olderthannetfic · 5 years ago

Photo

You’ve probably heard of that film version of The Magnificent Seven from a couple of years ago. Maybe you know it’s based on a film from 1960, which is itself a remake of Seven Samurai.

But if you’re like 99% of fandom or even that guy I know who worked on the 2016 version, you probably don’t know that there was also a TV series starring, among other people, Ron Perlman.

(This came up because said dude and I were working on another Western starring Ron Perlman. A sucky one though. Alas, I cannot pimp it.)

Mag7, as it is usually called in fandom, was quite the little slash fandom in its day, yet it is nearly forgotten by newer fans. The show aired for two seasons from 1998-2000.

It’s one of those shows I bought, sight unseen, so I could catch up on older fandoms. I ended up liking it more or less, but I don’t think canon has aged well. It’s too bloodless for the era it came out in while making a pretense at covering serious, dark shit. It has neither the standing sets of old Western TV nor the big budgets of the 2010s Western revival. It’s too white. The one black lead gets relegated to token status along with all Native characters. The treatment of women is laughable, from the Happy Hooker stuff (gah!) to the time they try to teach the tomboy to be more girly so she can get the young dude in the cast (ragescream!). It feels more in line with what I’d expect a Western to look like in 1988 than 1998, especially on the heels of the far more inventive The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. in 1993.

Fanlore says that Mag7 suffers because current fandom is not into Westerns, but my problem is that I am far too into Westerns, and this show is not a good one.

OTOH, there is a lot of material here to work with, and work with it fans did!

It’s a super interesting fandom for a fandom historian because of how intensely AU-infested it is. Maybe you’ve heard something about “ATF-verse”? That’s a Mag7 thing. It’s not just regular AUs: The fandom is full of these shared universes with established rules for writers who want to play in them.

The “Seven” are:

Chris Larabee: The black-clad, taciturn loner with... wait for it... a dead wife and child.

Vin Tanner: The soft-spoken woobie, sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit, who has spent time amongst the Indian tribes. (It is every bit as cringey as you think.) Fandom’s #1 fave, natch.

J.D. Dunne: Horrid little twerp with a terrible hat. I wanted to stab him every time he was on screen. x100 whenever he was interacting with a woman.

Buck Wilmington: Played by Dale Midkiff of Time Trax fame! (What? Everyone important, by which I mean me, loved Time Trax!) He is Chris’s old friend and polar opposite, a jolly, good-humored man raised by a prostitute mother. Ladies, including the working girls, love him. Also he gets fake dead more than once, so he’s clearly the BEST character, and fandom ought to have loved him the best too! >:(

Josiah Sanchez: Ron Perlman plays a wacky preacher and ex-gunfighter. Is he haunted by his past? Does he make woo-woo philosophical proclamations about this? Does this show love its ubiquitous Western cliches? (Don’t answer that.)

Ezra Standish: If Vin is the quiet, soft-spoken woobie, Ezra is the woobie who hides his Tragic Pain under a mask of charm and cheer. He’s the one with the rapidfire con artist patter, the fancy suits, and the Southern accent. He has a complicated relationship with his con artist mother. His wardrobe is a thousand times prettier than anyone else’s, and he crossdresses at some point. Naturally, he is fandom’s other darling after Vin. Possibly the #1 darling in ATF-verse.

Nathan Jackson: Nathan is a former slave and a doctor. He has a girlfriend in the local Seminole village and not enough to do on the show.

Other characters include a sad widow for Chris to have sad dead partner angst at, the judge who sends them on missions, and, in the pilot, that guy who played Harper in Sharpe. The judge is played by Robert Vaughn, which I 100% did not realize until I was looking at wikipedia just now!

Anyway, standard Western hijinks happen. The mystery of Chris’s wife’s death is eventually solved as angstily as possible. Chris pretends to kill Buck as part of a ruse at one point, making them my ship of choice. (What?) J.D. and the local tomboy get set up by all the other characters, causing me to want to stab not only them but also myself in the eye.

COME AT ME BRO!

Oops. I’m supposed to be promoting Escapade, not starting fights about old tv shows. Anyway, I think the canon has some issues, but the fic... let me tell you, there are no words more likely to attract me to a fandom than “presumed dead”, and Mag7 fandom delivered, not only in the slash but in the gen. I have no idea, years later, where to find any of those fics or even which ones I read, but I remember there was self-indulgent melodrama and it was GREAT.

Sweet, sweet idfic, come to Mama!

I would link you to a vid, but as Fanlore hilariously confirms for me, there are like no good vids in this fandom. They did eventually release it on DVD, but the image quality is... uh... not great. Oh, wait, I did love this lulzy het vid about ladies being thirsty for Buck.

youtube

Actually, that’s a total lie. I have gone looking for Mag7 vids repeatedly for the Escapade dance party. Excavating my old spreadsheets, I see a bunch of interesting ones, like this slash vid of Nathan/Ezra. The Southern gentleman and the black guy are an obvious cliche teamup for Westerns, but the fandom rarely went there. This vid is great though! The only reason I’ve never played it is that no one at the con ships this.

youtube

Past Escapade panels include:

2001 - True pairings and permutations (Who are the "right" couples, and what other combinations are remotely possible? Video excerpts for newcomers.)

2003 - AUs! Crutch or creative lifeblood? (Are ATF stories a creative extension of the universe or a cop-out by folks too lazy to do their historical research?)

2004 - The Multiverse (Where canon is a formulaic retread of a remake of a classic, the critical mass of fan creativity has exploded in fascinating and bizarre ways. Often, richly textured parallel universes seem more attractive than stories based on the original source material. From conflict over "closed" AUs to creative in-breeding, what's really going on in the Mag 7 multiverse?) [HAH, EVEN YOU GUYS AGREE WITH ME.]

2005 - Where has the Old West gone? (Magnificent Seven has it all! Seven sexy men, horses, the old west, guns, adventure, right and wrong, you name it! So why isn't there more Old West fic? Why all the modem and future AUs? Where do we go from here?)

2006 - Cowboys- Real Life v. Fantasy (From Magnificent Seven to Brokeback Mountain, from John Wayne toughness to curtain fic. What's reel? What's fun? And how much reality do we want in our fun?)

2007 - Chris Larabee: Tragic Hero or Pig-Headed Bastard? (How worthy is Chris to lead the Seven? Does he lead them because he believes in protecting the weak an innocent, or because it strokes his ego? Does he truly value Buck's friendship and support? Vin's? Anyone's?)

2008 - M7: Need Topic! by Megan Kent [LOL]

2011 - Mag 7: Deader Than a Beaver Hat (They're gorgeous. They're archetypes. Lots of other fandoms have less to work with. So, what the hell?)

2012 - My Paring is OK. Your Pairing Sucks! (In a fandom famous for pairing wars, let's get it all out in the open and put it to bed. Come and defend your pairing of choice, and enjoy others doing the same. Inflatable lightsabers, laughter, and the ability not to take yourself seriously. All welcome.)

2013 - What holds the gang together? (The deal was simple: a dollar a day, plus room and board, for a month. And now they've been together *how* long? What holds these seven loners together over the long haul? All pairings, all points of view. Bring story recs to share.) [Duct tape. The answer is always duct tape.]

Mag7 on Fanlore (including links to many smaller archives)

Mag7 on AO3

Mag7 on FFN

#escapade 2020 #escapade con #fandom history #mag7

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vanimeldes · 5 years ago

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can you elaborate a bit what made you divorce from asoiaf/got as you say?

Ooof, so, after the G0T finale, I think my reasons should be obvious, but you also mentioned the books and yes, I lost my interest in books too and I will try to not make this answer too long, but in the same time, to convey all my thoughts on this matter.

*Putting it below cut because.... when I`ll explain the problem of Martin`s fans later, you`ll understand why*

It`s amazing that just a year ago, AS0IAF was my second favourite franchise ever, second only to Tolkien legendarium, but even then, I didn`t love it for the fantasy elements in it, but rather for its characters and some twists and how Martin does forshadowing and writes the dualistic nature of the human being, but...as I read other fantasy series that do these four things AND have fantasy elements, I paused a bit and thought that these series would be just as popular, if they had popular adaptations such as G0T. But I got that AS0IAF was the first that had the opportunity to be adapted and I accepted that. Yet the show highlighted (and in some cases, amplified) some of the very big issues of these books and yes, D&D have many things to be blamed of, but it`s not as if they didn`t have a basis for their fuckery in the books. Martin is just as guilty. So here we go.

1. I am not sure if Martin has ever seen a 13 year old girl, but he writes grown-ass men having fixations and being sexually attracted by Daenerys and Sansa, two prepubescent girl. Martin would call it the gritty realism of the medieval times, but last time I checked, he was writing fantasy, not historical fiction. Fantasy means you can do what you want in your world, so even if you are inspired by the medieval times, it`s still YOUR fictional world and no one will question your research or accuracy if you want to have a female character married when she is at least, say, 18, not FUCKING 13. Not to mention that even in our real world, child brides existed but, guess what, in most the cases, both spouses waited until the wife reached a certain age (16 or older) to consummate their marriage. @eyes-painted-with-kohl explained in the notes of one of my posts and even gave an example or two. I can think of Isabella of France and Edward II. They were married when she was 13 (according to some historical evidence)/16 (according to others). Yes, I know he was homosexual, but he still needed heirs, so they still had children...4 years later, when she was 17/20.

2. In this same vein, the treatment of his female characters (with the exception of Arya and, maybe Catelyn) is egregious. Daenerys and Sansa are sexualized by the male characters (don`t get me started of the bullshit that is S/ansan, because The Hound is still a murderous man who is aroused by a 12 year-old girl, who invaded her personal space and even pointed a knife to her; do not get me started on book!Jorah, who is a creep). Cersei is paraded naked on the streets and needless to say that during the walk of atonement for an adulterous woman in medieval times, she was never stripped naked; she only had her hair shaved and walked BAREFOOT. That`s it. What Martin did to Cersei is just disgusting. We are shown how Arianne uses sex to have Ser Arys help with her plans and it is implied that Margaery uses sex also. I get that sex is Cersei`s mechanism, but you have two more feminine (this is important) women in power and both of them explicitly use, or are implied to use sex as a mean to gain that power. I get Brienne`s point, her treatment bothers me the least, but it`s annoying from time to time how most of the other characters see only her ”ugliness” and nothing else. Of course, this is the result of the heavy patriarchy in Westeros world that I will discuss in the next paragraph.

3. The heavy patriarchy in Westeros world is nowhere similar to the patriarchy in the medieval times, and that was Martin`s choice and his only. A clear example is what was dubbed the Dead Ladies Club, namely a group of dead female characters whose only purpose was to serve as object of desire for one or more men, to give birth AND to die (gruesomely in some cases). Joanna Lannister is meant only to further fuel the enmity between Tywin and Aerys and Tywin`s hatred towards Tyrion. Elia exists solely to die gruesomely and motivate Doran`s desire for vengeance. Lyanna (the most explored dead lady still exists mainly to give birth to Jon and to be one of the reasons behind a war started by men. Rhaella exists solely to be raped by Aerys and give birth and die. Ashara Dayne exists solely to commit suicide. Ned, a POV character, spends chapters thinking about his father and siblings and never to his mother. Martin had the audacity to say that Tolkien himself didn`t left notes about Aragorn`s mother, but Tolkien had an entire story when Aragorn`s mother and her impact of his life is explored (more than his father, for that matter). The heavy patriarchy serves as reason for the utterly disgusting right of the first night (read Fire & Blood for more). I am not so versed into history as @mydaylightruyi who discussed this, but I too know that in our real world, this practice was a MYTH. But GRRM made it very present in his world because of reasons I guess.

4. The racism is just rampant and disgusting and even I didn`t notice all the racism until I read @polysorscha `s insights. There`s a to be discussed here, mainly about the portrayal of the Dothraki and how they are reduced to barbaric rapists - interestingly, they are supposedly inspired by Huns, but guess what: the Huns formed a very permisive society, where any religion and culture had its places, where women were very respected and, while cruel in the European people`s POV, were never....like THIS.

5. The rape cultures. The Ironborn. Similarly to the Dothraki, their culture is reduced to pillaging and rape. That scene when Euron conquers that castle in the Reach ( I forgot its name) and how he had the daughters of that lord stripped naked and serve his men the meal, and how his men started raping them was....honestly, I wish I could have skipped this chapter. I still read fantasy books written by men more than I read fantasy books written by women, but never in my life did it occur to me to read something like this in a novel that is so hailed for fantasy (?) and realism (???????). I`m not saying that things like that didn`t happen in our cruel history but, again, Martin writes a fictional story. He could choose not to include the rampant violence against women, cultures whose practices are reduced to this utterly gross things, racist and orientalist elements, but he chooses not to. Why? I don`t know. I am not sure I want to know. And Victarion`s POV...oh boy. Or Theon, in ACOK, when he literally rapes that Kyra girl after takes Winterfell. Not only that it`s very disturbing, especially coming from a character that is supposed to be redeemed in some way (yes, I know how he`s been through in ADWD and I also know this is meant to be his redemption arc, but I personally still can`t get over this). And in the same time, while we`re still at the redemption discussion, Theon will surely undergo a redemption of some sorts, Cersei (a female character) will most likely be killed by her lover/brother, who will strangle her to death, most likely while he will embrace her, without a second chance of a droplet of redemption.

6. I love Tyrion and I love Tywin but in the same time, I acknowledge their misogyny, but Martin chose to write them as misogynists, but in the same time, writing them in such ways that they are inherently labelled as „badass”. He also says that Tyrion is his favourite, but his POV is utterly misogynistic. The reason he kills Shae is because she dared to sleep with his father, but let`s unpack the things a bit: she was a former sex worker with no power, who was forced by the most powerful man in Westeros. She had no choice. She couldn`t refuse him. Yet, for Tyrion, she is ”the lying whore” and that`s it. We are given no chance to try to see the things from her POV (I am not implying that she should have been a POV character, but Martin should have written Tyrion considering for a moment what other choices Shae had).

7. I discovered that Martin straightly ripped-off many plot points and themes from another series who isn`t half as popular, sadly.

8. Last, but not the least, the snake pit that is THE FANDOM. You know, as much as I tried to stay away from its toxicity because „it`s just an internet thing, it can`t affect me”, it did affect my online experience in ways that I hadn`t imagined. To sum up, if you don`t like a character or hate another, you are a pariah. You are dumb because you don`t understand that character or you are a misogynist (because, sadly, this discourse is mostly about the female characters). If you dare to voice up your thoughts about a certain event and/or a certain character and tag your post as #asoiaf or #asoiaf meta (you know, because this is it to me: a meta; plus, I want to have an ordering system in my blog so that whenever I want to look for a certain post in a certain topic or fandom, I would only look into the tag) or #my meta (highlighted „MY” because this is also important, as in it`s MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION), and those thoughts happen to not fit into the general consensus of the „great AS0IAF bloggers” (namely those meta writers with many followers who sound like they already read TWOW and ADOS), you are trashed and called an idiot. Granted, I met enough great people, meta writers included, in this fandom, and it was a real pleasure to chat with them, but I also had bad experiences with others and idk, I thought we were all mature people, but the way they reacted can hardly be described as mature. And in the same point, it`s just funny to see the hardcore Martin stans reacting in front of the clear evidence that Martin isn`t half as original as they thought (see 7) and acting like they are personally attacked.

Ok, it took me an hour. There is a lot more to discussed, but I got bored and I honestly want to shut the door to this fandom forever. To answer another question, yes, I will be reading the last two books if when they will come out. I invested many months in this series not to finish it. I`ll probably block all the ASOIAF-related tags to avoid any interaction with its fandom during those times.

#ask #anonymous #asoiaf criticism #grrm criticism #anti grrm #yes i tagged this as such #any hater will be blocked

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maddie-grove · 5 years ago

Text

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff.

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster.

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind), does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart.

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all.

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story).

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

#books #reading #top twenty

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thegoodrph · 6 years ago

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a guide to writing about panhellenic sororities!!

*disclaimer* this is all based on my own personal experience in my house! this does not reflect every single members experience or how every house operates. i will also not being discussion any organization specific info (this is suppose to be more universally applicable)! btw if anyone is interested i can make an in-depth guide into any of these topics especially recruitment as i know it can be confusing as heck to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. please like/reblog if this is at all helpful for you!

formal recruitment:

“go greek/open house/meet greek round” - the very first day(s) of recruitment consist of a TON of small talk. the average pnm (potential new member) will speak to three women in each house during this round. the average recruiter will speak to at least 30 women each day of this round. my school has two days in a row of these introduction and by the end everyone had lost their voice from trying to yell over each other during parties. this round normally begins and ends with a repetitive chant yelled by girls while bouncing and clapping!

“philanthropy round” - this is normally the second round of recruitment where each house introduces pnms to their national and local philanthropies. this usually includes a video or presentation of some sort and more small talk. this is also the first round of “cuts” where pnms only go back to houses that they have interest in/that have interest in them. this round normally has a similar door chant to ‘go greek’.

“sisterhood or skit rounds” - the round immediately preceding the preference round is the one with the most variations.

“preference round/pref night” -

“bid day” -

what are door chants?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_i4J_qJeFU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUkRBRvwD0k

cor (continuous open recruitment):

NOT EVER HOUSE DOES THIS

after recruitment ends, houses will invite specific non-greek women to events where they can meet girls and possibly get bids to join the organization. these are less intense than formal recruitment and in my personal experience are done by houses looking to be more inclusive of girls excluded by the standard recruiting process.

while formal can bring in between 100-200 new members, COR usually only brings in 20-40 new members.

meetings:

reminder that ever house has different ritual and meeting practices but the general structure is often the same

a number of panhellenic houses are based in christianity and so they open each meeting in prayer or with a bible verse

often other sororities, fraternities, and student organizations come in for the first few moments of meeting to talk about their upcoming events.

once the actual meeting begins, each member of the executive committee/exec board will stand up and give a brief report over what is going on in their committees. some take much longer than others!

example: if you have a big philanthropy event coming up, the exec member in charge of it will take the longest to go through their slides.

the president normally has the smallest announcements but keeps the meeting moving and opens/closes the meeting

houses usually end meeting with some form a ritual (ie. reciting a creed, singing a song, etc.)

random: but lots of friend groups within a house will have mini meeting night traditions like always going to a certain restaurant, hosting a game night upstairs, or going for desserts! my friends and i always go to the same fast food spot and eat burgers in the back of her pickup truck (i know so country but we love it)

big/little:

what is a big?

an older sister (usually a sophomore but could be an upperclassmen) that takes on the role of mentor/older sister to a new member!

what is a little?

a new member of a sorority who is joining a “family”!

how are they chosen?

it’s a mutual preference system! bigs will take new members out on “dates” to get to know them! then around the middle of the semester girls will send in who they want to be their ‘big’/’little’ and the membership team pairs girls up and sets up reveals!

big/little reveal examples:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/437482551290979781/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/343751384041424371/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/AQtj-lfoGbAocIMg4ox-Wg5VI67uiyT9cJ1NJ2scCToj6OHQ7fudnSs/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/349803096050863477/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/AUtgnva2K3OFjucJo1Snpe9w7XDGNNJ0tg73fZEzTmghkdG0gHL8jAY/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/302867143677485995/

living in the house:

i’ve been living in my sorority house for one year now and absolutely love it but, like any living situation, there’s definitely pros and cons.

at my university, anywhere between 20-65 women live in each house! my house holds 50 women at the moment.

we have a chef!!!!! at my house, we get two meals a day (lunch and dinner) monday through thursday + friday lunch!

they are super yummy and often healthy!

also the payment is wrapped up into your house rent so only girls living in the house pay for our chef.

they do this because it’s completely inefficient for 50 women to all try to make meals in one kitchen.

all rooms are different (and have different rent!!)!

options: singles, two-person, four-person, and even five-persons.

i live in a two person and LOVE it.

this is another topic i’d be open to making a separate guide if anyone has more questions!

leadership:

executive board

usually includes the following positions (but each houses uses different names for each position! i listed the ones I know of):

president, executive vice president, finance vice president, standards vice president (often referred to simply as “standards”), social vice president, membership vice president (and sometimes new member vice president), panhellenic delegate, philanthropy vice president, recruitment/marketing vice president

they typically have a multiple hours long meeting with advisors once a week, lead meetings, and are the on-call person regarding their committees

these can often be everyday jobs for the girls who take them on

for the most part, every house fills these positions through a lengthy interview and elections process

other officer positons

these are also elected positions (for the most part) and serve under one of the aforementioned executive board members

possible positions include: recording/corresponding secretary, historian, photographer, new member coordinator/new member chair, sisterhood chair, scholarship chair, ritual guard/chair, leadership chair, formal recruitment chair, continuous open recruitment chair, recruitment information manager, philanthropy chair, events chair, alumnae chair, public relations chair, finance assistant, house/property manager, chaplain, spirit chair, points chair, risk management chair, fellowship/bible study chair, assistant panhellenic chair, community service chair, etc.

i could go in-depth into almost all of these about the day to day if anyone wants them fleshed out!

misconceptions that drive me absolutely nuts:

“sorority girls” - we are adults so greek/sorority women is more accurate

“all sorority girls are slutty/only care about boys/are getting an mrs. degree” - this is the most misogynistic misconception about sorority women. a lot of us are involved to better ourselves or develop deep female friendships. plus if i woman wants to have sex/get married/has desires, that’s totally okay!! if a woman doesn’t, that’s okay too!!

“sorority girls only want to party” - parties can be a large part of greek life but not everyone engages in it (for example i don’t drink and i’m not a fan of frat parties or going out - it’s just a preference).

“all sororities are petty/none of the girls actually like each other” - this all depends on the house but in my experience this has not been the case! i love the women in my house but like any group, we have our bad days and minor disagreements.

“all houses hate each other/they only have friends in their own house” - i have a good number of friends from all different house (and friends that aren’t in greek life at all #shocker!!). sorority ‘feuds’ aren’t really a big deal and especially not the way it is depicted in the media. most of the competitiveness comes from random, fun, and healthy competitions like philanthropy events.

“sorority girls only date frat boys” - this is just blatantly not true. not all sorority girls even date ‘boys’ at all. there is a growing lgbtq+ population within the greek community (at least within my house). even those of us who are straight, don’t have some strange greek preference like in movies. just like everyone else, sorority women date who they’re attracted to/compatible with?

“only straight, rich, white girls are in sororities” - while there is a financial requirement involved in greek life that historically excludes lower-income college students (interesting note: my house actually has scholarships for just this reason. we try to make it as inclusive as possible and that’s super exciting!), not every woman in greek life is straight, rich, or white. like i said before the lgbtq+ presence is growing. in addition, at least on my campus as i can’t speak for all systems, most of our houses are made up of both women of color and white women.

#rp guide #rp guides #guides #masterlists #masterlist #rp masterlist #rph #rp help #rphelp #rpc #roleplay help #greek life #sorority life #sorority misconceptions #guides to writing about sororities #my resources

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chrysaliseuro2019 · 5 years ago

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Bizarre Vrsar

Not only did Hotel Marija have a very comfy room its breakfast was vast with many little tempting morsels.

Having spent 2 nights at Novigrad and finding it charming we thought it would be good to see whatever else Istria might offer. The big risk is this might be the benchmark and nothing else will come up to scratch but time to find out.

Randomly picked an inland town off the map about 20 minutes drive. The soil was rich so grapevines and olive trees were aplenty. Arrived at Visnjan as the 1617 clock tower was striking midday. It turned out to be a pretty little town with the bell tower through an arch in a square at the top and a narrow paved street down to the 3 cafes all within thirty metres of each other. The narrow street was lined with old double storey houses two of which had nonnas sitting on the balcony amongst their many pot plants eating lunch. One yelled out ‘Morgen’ clearly not having registered the chiming of 12 o’clock. Perhaps she was excited to see some new faces in town because I reckon this charming little village would not be on the regular tourist circuit.

Also a sturdy but a little neglected church at the end of the narrow street before the cafes. We guessed it was probably built at the same time as the arch and bell tower. The door was closed but the window shutters were open so we could see the paintings on the ceiling and walls which were in surprisingly good condition.

Because we had driven inland we had bypassed Poreč on the coast so we backtracked to it, found a big carpark not far from the centre which took the pain out of trying to interpret the indecipherable restrictions and limitations of European parking metres. Even lucky enough to get one in the shade which was a blessing as the little Fiat’s air conditioning is more a pffff than a blow.

Poreč is a much larger seaside town than Novigrad and plenty of tourists have found it. While the old town hasn’t been ruined by development there are several large complexes on its edge and the beaches teeming with umbrellas and lounges. Historically the Romans were there (of course) then the Venetians took over which was very evident in the buildings which were lovely. There were architectural clues the Venetians had been in Novigrad too.

Poreč’s main attraction the Christian cathedral complex considered the best preserved of its kind. Christians came to Poreč in the first centuries after Christ but Christianity was forbidden. So the priest held holy mass in his home but was later tortured and killed. In 313 Christians were given permission to worship so the first church on the site was built. It was replaced by a church now the Euphrasius Basilica in the 6th century. Also built at that time and still part of the complex were the atrium, bishop’s Palace and the baptistry.

We duly bought our tickets and did the tour of 10 points of interest. The first of which was the bell tower. While only 120 stairs it was stinking hot so we lumbered up. View of Poreč and it’s surrounds was good. Then through the rest of the complex and the museum. It was good without being amazing. Lots of building fragments, artefacts and some bits and pieces of mosaics.

Quick refreshments on the run from the bakery and time to head to the night’s destination. Had booked a place in Vrsar another fishing town, smaller than Poreč but bigger than Novigrad. Found our Air BnB apartment easily enough and we were supposed to be able to park out the front for 15 minutes. So I got out to see if I could move the little locked barrier to be told by the cafe owner that we couldn’t park there. Back in the car to get out of the way of a couple of cars behind us who we’d been holding up for a minute or two by now. Rang the owner who apologised, reset Narelle and once around the block saw us back there with the barrier removed. Apartment on street level up a laneway - always so pleasing not to have to lug cases up stairs. You’ve got to hand it to photographers who can so skilfully make a room barely 4 metres square look roomy on the internet pictures. Still it’s recently renovated and the bathroom excellent.

Parked the car a bit further away down by the water and headed looking for somewhere to settle in for a few hours for a swim and relax. It got me thinking why Europeans get so excited about beaches like Bondi and to a lesser extent StKilda. It’s because there actually is a beach. Here at Vrsar the holiday makers are using up every square metre of small pebbly areas no bigger than our current digs. We along with plenty of others settled for an area under some trees back a little way from the water’s edge. Some housekeeping was required; first scan for dog turds then clear out any pebbles and or pine cones before laying down beach towel. I read and snoozed. Chris blogged.

Tidied up and out for dinner. First of all we passed several 20-something girls sitting at little wooden tables in the street outside our apartment. Equipped with a computer each they were talking on their phones and writing information on lists. I asked the the owner of our apartment the following morning when we went past them again what they were doing. He didn’t know but said a Russian owned the building and the girls only speak Russian. We wondered if they were an example of pesky callers that call from foreign climes trying to scam. Who knows.

Descended a steep hill with what seem liked endless sets of slippery flagstones. We passed a number of red faced puffing people struggling as they heaved themselves up while we gave 100% concentration on not slipping over on the way down. When it was time to go home later we chose an alternative route of a longer footpath without any stairs.

On the way down we passed a couple of young blokes in old fashioned formal clothing and then at the bottom of the hill was another. There was a crowd gathering but we weren’t sure if it was an organised event or a busker. We joined in anyway. Turned out Casanova had been through town and declared it was “A town of fine wine and beautiful women” so it seems these young men do Casanova shows. The young Casanova was very amusing advising the women to leave their husbands home next time, flirting with some of the women saying he had a number of tricks up his sleeve in a very provocative and suggestive way. It was all very light hearted and fun but sadly I wasn’t on the trend of such flirtations as I may have been many years ago. Clearly Casanova thought I was well past my use-by date. After his warm up he started to take his show and followers back towards the hill we had just come down. The choice came down to going back up that hill with Casanova or heading to the wharf for a drink. We chose the latter.

Found a bar where Chris (aka The supercilious Bastard) chose a craft beer The Arrogant Bastard - seemed fitting. Enjoyed watching the throng and while Novigrad was more your Blairgowrie set, Vrsar felt far more like Rosebud.

There was plenty to keep us entertained. A pirate-type boat docked and what seemed liked a surprisingly large number of happy punters for the size of the vessel disgorged to the strangely inappropriate strains of Jose Feliciano’s Feliz Navidad (I want to wish you a Merry Christmas). Still they looked like it they’d had a rollicking good time, Christmas or not.

Another boat caught Chris’ eye. It was the Glassboat but with appropriate movement the GL were hidden by a furled umbrella. We felt due to lack of having one he didn’t qualify going on the Assboat whereas I’m over qualified.

Time for dinner. Initially chose a taverna on the waterfront but after sitting there for 5 minutes and being seemingly invisible we felt it didn’t bode well. So headed a little way back up the hill to a restaurant we’d spotted earlier. Mussels and fish - both ok but Croatian food not a patch on Greek food.

Headed back to our apartment but saw there a music act was on at the cafe just at the front of it. Act was on a break but had a set of 45 minutes to play. So we sat to watch full of anticipation after the 2 nights of very good and excellent music we’d seen in Novigrad. But in hindsight we shouldn’t have had our hopes too high. The only instrument on display was a Hammond-style organ and the banner hanging from the organ said ‘Fantasy Duo’. More nightmare than fantasy. They were a 50 year old husband and wife team, her in a polka dot dress and him in beige Fletcher Jones slacks and a neat shirt. She played the tambourine and swayed. He played the organ and swayed. Unfortunately they both sang. Amongst their repertoire was Strangers In The Night, Una Paloma Blanca, I Just Called To Say I Love You, To Love Somebody and Que Sera Sera plus some Croatian dirges. Chris was willing them to play to the audience, which mainly comprised of Germans, by belting an oompah song. But it wasn’t to be. Just more mundane muzak. I felt like I was listening to an LP from the Brashes $1 Clearance Bin circa 1970. One couple made the best of it and danced. Everyone else talked as if they weren’t there but politely yet briefly clapped at the end of each song. Chris and I found the whole scenario entertaining but probably not in the way the Fantasy Duo hoped. We possibly didn’t conceal our amusement very well because the young hipster waitress (with a very deep voice) came over out of the blue rolling her eyes saying she was sorry we were there for such sad music. She qualified the ‘sad’ as meaning appalling not tear jerking. She made it quite apparent that she wasn’t a fan and said she thought people came along because they thought it was funny. Good to know it wasn’t just us then. It made for a memorable evening.

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oppressiveliberator · 6 years ago

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romance headcanons.

→ repost, do not reblog.

((FOREWARNING I do mention a protag ship as well as an incest ship, but aside one or two other implications it only comes up once I think. Also this is a fucking mess so it’s under a cut. Someday I’ll write concisely but today is not that day!))

name: Ghetsis Harmonia Gropius nickname: Ghetsis; G-Cis; Lord Ghetsis; [Holy] Father gender: Male romantic orientation: Debateable. Gray-Aromantic? May not experience romantic attraction, but enjoys or will get into relationships to some degree. Will definitely indulge someone’s feelings for fun. preferred pet names: Lord. Master. Sir. Father. Basically, if it’s a dominance-expressing petname, he’s good with it. Depending on who it’s from something like ‘dear’ could also be acceptable.

relationship status: Single, but has or has had repeated partners and hookups. May be or have had been married in some verses? favorite canon ship(s): Canon as in officially shown or implied? The closest we’d have is probably Ghetsis/Zinzolin lmao. . . . favorite non-canon ship(s) so far: I mean I ship more or less anything as long as it’s interesting/has potential and my muse wants to roll with it but. I fuckin love me some Ghetsis/Hilda. Ghetsis/Zinzolin, Giovanni/Ghetsis, Lysandre/Ghetsis, a hard to explain one but I like the concept of like Ghetsis/Reader, not in that I’m the ‘reader’ but that the reader is a ‘fan’, grunt, etc, so I guess Ghetsis/ghetsis fandom, and I have a real big ‘guilty’(read: i enjoy it and it’s harmless fiction so i don’t really feel that guilty, but people will definitely be real unhappy to hear it but fuck it it’s not like I’m forcing it on anybody) love for Ghetsis/N or other members of his family. But Ghetsis goes well with like everybody tbh depending on what you’re after. opinion on true love: Ghetsis finds that romantic feelings are, in general, for weaker persons. True love is self-love, and letting yourself love or enjoy as many others as you’d like. Of course, true love directed at him isn’t shameful or pathetic at all, and if he finds himself attached to somebody. . .well, he’ll admit to feeling weak for them, but it’s not something that makes him in any way less perfect.

opinion on love at first sight: You’ll love him at first sight. How weak do you have to be to just see somebody and be romantically infatuated with them? You don’t even know anything about them. Pathetic. You’re going to get yourself into trouble, silly pet!

how ‘romantic’ are they?: MMMMMMM Ghetsis is. . .willing to be romantic and would probably enjoy doing so because it makes him feel impressive. Plus, pleasing a partner or object of affection increases the likelihood they’ll be attached to him, and thus he can benefit off of or use them for longer. . . . So if you mean like in terms of reasoning, uh, he’s not super prone to thinking about other people more than himself at all. .. but in terms of actions and what he’ll be willing to do, he’s gonna be a big show-off and treat you real nice and spoil you.

ideal physical traits: Smaller and/or physically weaker than him. Feminine, especially with long hair, especially girls with long hair. Shapely/curvy girls are good. Healthy, strong, but weaker than him--strong enough to put up a fight, maybe. Expressive--shows a lot of emotion and reacts openly. Traditionally attractive, especially in a feminine way? I imagine he’s oddly attracted to people he can identify as having similar features to himself. . .not sure if that’s narcissism or something else entirely. But, to be honest, he’s not too picky--he’ll act like he is, and he’ll certainly talk like he is, but. . .so far he isn’t. female: No specifics

male: No specifics ideal personality traits: Intelligent. Submissive. Expressive. Eager to please. Interesting. Fighty. Honestly, he’s attracted to people who’re either easy to use or hard to get. Depends on how hard he wants to work for it. To an extent, materialistic--being easily won over with expensive things and fancy dates. Clingy. Loyal. Faithful. Lost. Exploitable.

unattractive physical traits: In general he’s more attracted to traditionally attractive people, so if you’re traditionally unattractive, he’s fairly likely to be offput by it? Unhealthy, unclean, generally not caring about your appearance at all? But he remains not too picky. If you’re unattractive in some way, it just makes him look better--and gives him something to hold over you. So he won’t be too bothered by it unless you’re, like, disgusting in some way he doesn’t want to put up with.

unattractive personality traits: If you aren’t obedient, subservient, willing and/or wanting to see him as your superior, try and dominate him (and not have anything worth him letting you do so for,) etc. . .well, you’ll have lower chances. Unintelligent(and yet, you’d be so much easier to mess with if you were. . .) Gossipy, bad at keeping secrets(bragging is okay, telling the world his plans is not--it’s okay if you tell him about what other people do, though, that’s fine.) Bossy, although he’s willing to put up with some of this. . .it’s hard to say, because he’s interested in people who’re subservient to him or express a lot of interest in him, but also in people he’d have to chase/who he’d have to struggle to have. . .but if you intend to get in the way of his plans or you’re uninteresting(and not physically appealing or you don’t have anything to offer/for him to gain, if you try and, like, overthrow him or take command of him without him seeing benefit to it(for example, RR!Giovanni is allowed to dominate and order him around because Ghetsis wants him to feel in charge to better take advantage of him) then you’re gonna have a harder time getting his interest.

ideal date: He loves to spoil a motherfucker. Fancy restaurants, shows, trips, whatever you’d like as long as he won’t hate it himself. Also, spending time at his castle, lavishing him--uh, you in attention and affection, parading you around, evangelizing and liberating Pokémon together, things that mean he gets to show off. . .he’d probably like an escape room if you were competent enough not to infuriate him through the whole process. Although, in his current, fragile, sickly, weakened state. . .the idea of something simple like a walk outside, going to a park, something lowkey seems especially nice. . .but also if you just stay in and hang out, that’s good too. He’s not so open with it, but since he’s not in his usual position of power, he’s a lot happier than he lets on if you’re just. . .with him.

do they have a type?: Weak-willed men and spunky women. Or something like that lol. People he can gain something from. People he can’t have? He may have incestuous personality disorder???? i have it in my head that he’s somewhat attracted to his own family due to having this understanding of historical royal families intermingling to keep their bloodlines ‘pure’. But it’s not an active part of the blog character, like you’d probably never find out if I hadn’t said it just now, yeah?

average relationship length: Until he gets bored or you outlive your usefulness or you break up with him when you realize he’s abusing you. So, like, hookups are regular, but if they don’t count. . .a few months to a year. But it’s probably not exclusive. On his end. If you’re fucking somebody else and finds out rather than you just telling him. . .he probably won’t be too pleased about it.

preferred non-sexual intimacy: Worship him. Obey him. Being leaned against. Being held onto. Putting an arm around you or on your lower back or near your neck as if leading you or showing possessiveness of you. Being kissed. Petting on the hair and back and so on. Whispering. Leaving marks. Things that make you respond, especially if they fluster you.

commitment level: You belong to him now. You are his until he's no longer interested. It likely won’t be an exclusive ordeal, but you’re stuck with him until he decides otherwise. Even if you leave him, expect him to pursue unless you have reason to believe he’s lost interest. Then again, choosing to leave may spark his interest in chasing you. . . .

opinion of public affection: Public affection is an expression of his ownership of you and of your affection towards and desire of him. It’s good shit. He’s into it. Expect surprise kisses, his arm around you, holding your hand if he’s able, close proximity and disregard of your personal space, pulling you into his lap, him openly referring to you as being his or with him. . . .

past relationships?: He’s definitely had plenty. I say he and Zinzolin definitely had some kind of D/s shit going on. I’m open to other preestablishments too, if they can be explained in some way.

tagged by: everybody’s doing it, so I stole it from everyone tagging: Do things I would do, like steal memes. But not things that I would do like accidentally use the ‘post’ keyboard shortcut before you even finished clearing the formatting of the post. Don’t do that.

#long post #Tag Memes | They Want To Bite Us Inject The Virus #Shipping | Take You Down Another Level Get You Dancing With The Devil #bad ship mentions #protag ship mention

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lovelylunarwriting · 7 years ago

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Doyoung Prince!AU

Prince Kim Doyoung’s kingdom is an empire of knowledge and scholars. The nation has a strong focus on maintaining quality education, keeping the people knowledgeable, and building some of the largest libraries to ever exist.

Although there are many massive libraries scattered across the country, by far the biggest one is the Royal Literature Hall. It’s so large that an entire wing of the castle is just that library.

This Royal Literature Hall is where Prince Doyoung, sometimes reluctantly, spends most of his time. As the crown prince and next in line to the throne, he’s always wanted to know more.

More about his kingdom’s history, more about his kingdom’s relations with the other nine nations, and more about his people. What the people need, how he could help them… the list goes on and on.

To sum it up, ever since he was told that he would be the next king, and not his older brother, Prince Doyoung has been s t r e s s e d.

He constantly feels the weight of the position of future king and the weight of his country on his shoulders.

It’s gotten so bad that he only sleeps a few hours a night, and even then, it takes him too long to get to sleep. His mind races from one issue to another, constantly trying to make up solutions. Inevitably, he has no epiphanies, and gets no sleep either.

He spends most days in the Royal Literature Hall, looking up one thing or another, whether it be historical war strategies or the medical advancements of another kingdom- it’s always something important, but ultimately not the most interesting.

But today, Doyoung's reading about the crop harvest summaries from the past seventy four years and oh my G O S H is he so bored.

So bored and yet he still can’t sleep because his mind is constantly racing.

Deciding that he’s had enough for the day, he borrowed some civilian clothes from his guard friend, Taeyong, gets dressed, and just walks out of the palace.

Upon making the long walk to town, he realizes that it's been two months since he’s set foot outside the castle.

For the first hour, Doyoung wanders around, strolling through the market, absently mindedly listening to people’s interactions.

The one thing that he notices is that almost every person he walked by is either talking about or carrying a copy of the newest hit novel “Shimmerlight”

In a nation built on books, for a novel to become popular isn’t uncommon, but this popular? That's kind of crazy.

Doyoung decides that he’ll check out the quality of this book himself.

He walks up to the first person he saw with the book and asks them where they purchased it.

“Oh, it’s in every bookstore! But if you want to talk to the author, I’d go to Honey Bee’s Buzzing Books”

Doyoung thanks the guy, and walks to where that bookstore is, following the directions given to him by the kind stranger.

All kinds of thoughts run through Doyoung’s mind. Why was the author at this bookstore? If they’re such a successful writer, why aren’t they living the good life in some villa instead of spending all day in some dusty store in town?

And why of all things, are they just available to talk? Don’t they have things to do? Go swimming in their piles of money, for example??

But then Doyoung checks himself, thinking “hey dumbass, you’re literally royalty and you’ve never seen a pool full of money, let alone jumped in”

By the time he’s done theorizing questions, he’s made it to the front steps of a cozy sized, old-timey bookstore, which he assumes has to be the famed Honey Bee’s Buzzing Books.

He hesitates walking in, but eventually does, immediately cringing at the sound of the bell ringing, announcing his presence.

“So much for keeping my head low”, he curses himself internally.

Just at that moment, a person (you) pops their head from around a bookshelf, and greets him with the biggest smile.

“Welcome to Honey Bee’s! How can I help you?, you ask the attractive young man that just entered your book store. You didn’t think you’d seen him before. No one could forget a face like that.

The awkward silence brings you out of your train of thought. He hasn’t responded to you at all- he’s just standing there, staring.

“Uhh, sir?”

“Sir? Oh gosh, don’t call me that. That makes me sound old”, he jokes.

“Okay, then what should I call you?”

“Doyoung. Call me Doyoung”

“Ooo, you’ve got the same name as the prince! How lucky for you, I’ve been told that he’s dreamy”

“He’s dreamy, huh? What else have you heard?”, he asks with a smirk.

“Well I’ve got a friend in the castle he says the prince is a hardass, but they’re known for being overly critical. I’m sure the prince is quite lovely. Anyway, have you come here with a specific book in mind?”

Doyoung: “Well, sort of. I’ve come here out of sheer curiosity. Have you heard of the novel Shimmerlight?”

You: “Heard of it! I practically wrote it”

Doyoung: “Really?”

You: “No like in all seriousness- I am the author. I literally wrote it”

Doyoung: “Oh, wow. So you wrote an entire novel, and you own this place?”

You: “Ah, this store isn’t mine. I work here to help out a friend- he’s the one who owns it. So you’re looking to buy my book?”

Doyoung: “Well, before I buy it, could you tell me a little about it? I’m not sure if your book is my kind of read”

You: “Of course I can! Here, come sit, I’ll go get some refreshments”, you say, leaving the cute stranger to go put on a pot of tea.

Doyoung’s used to being alone, and had never minded it before, but there's something so comforting and warm about you that makes him wish for you to come back sooner than later.

And his wish is granted as you stroll back over to the dainty table, with a teapot in one hand and two matching tea cups in the other.

Setting them down gently on the table, you excuse yourself once again and jog to the back room, your hair bobbing up and down as you run.

“Now we’re all set!”, you announce as you waltz up to the table, placing a plate of cookies and assorted sweets in front of the beautifully puzzled boy.

Doyoung: “Thank you, but you really didn’t have to do all this for me”

You: “Of course I didn’t have to. I want to! Don’t worry about it and eat up, the cookies are baked fresh. They only came out of the oven about half an hour ago.

Doyoung: “Writing and baking? Is there anything you don’t do?”

You: “Exercise. It’s just not my thing”

Doyoung: “Yeah I get that, it’s not like I have much time for it anyways though”

You: “You don’t have time to exercise but you have time to investigate my book out of sheer curiosity?”

Doyoung: “Hey, you’re the one who just admitted to not exercising, don’t turn this on me”, he laughs.

His deadpan expression that he entered your store with is long gone, and replaced with the most gorgeous eye smile you’ve ever seen.

You hope he’ll stay long, you think to yourself, you heart beating a bit faster than before.

You: “Well let’s get straight into it! What do you want to know about my book?”

Doyoung: “Well, what is it about?”, he asked, the curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

Explaining your novel to people and just getting to talk about your ideas, characters, and creative process is one of your absolute favorite things to do. Your friend who owns Honey Bee’s always reminds you not to get carried away and bore people with blabbing about your stories, but you’ve always insisted on blabbing anyway to anyone who is willing to listen.

Most of the people who come in to talk to you are grannies and young kids. The grannies always try to set you up and introduce you to their sons, but you always manage to maneuver your way out of it as politely as you can.

At one point there was an elderly woman who was convinced that you were the perfect match for her son, and so you told her that you were interested in women to get her off your back.

The next day she came in with her daughter.

You didn’t try that strategy again.

Blabbing as your strong suit, this is exactly what you do in this current moment with Doyoung. You explain to him what the characters are like, their relationship to one another, and by the time that you’d described the many different aspects of the fantasy land you’d created, he’s… dozed off.

Was he really asleep?

He’d eaten half the cookies and drank two cups of tea, and you always kept the shop warm, especially during these winter months, so you assume it’s only natural that he could get drowsy.

You make the decision to not take him falling asleep while you were talking as a personal offense, and more as something flattering. To protect your pride, more than anything.

You go to the back room and grab a blanket out of the closet. Treading careful, as to not make any noise, you come back and delicately place the plush blanket around his broad shoulders.

He's completely out cold with his arms crossed on the table, and his head tilted to the side, resting on top.

In this moment he just looks so… peaceful. He came in to your shop looking exhausted and stressed, so you're glad that he's able to rest.

Your friend is going to kill you for this, but you close the store down way earlier than normal, so that no one could come in and the bell wouldn’t ring, waking him.

He looked like he needed sleep more than anything and you weren’t about to take that away from him, even if he was sleeping in the book store.

You sit behind the front counter and immersed yourself in the book you’d picked up a few days ago.

Honestly you think about sitting back in the seat across from him, but conclude that it would be a tad creepy if he woke up and you were just… there. Chillin.

Plus the table is right next to the window looking out on the streets and you didn’t want people getting the wrong idea when you would inevitably stare at him while he slept.

He’s so pretty, how could you not?

You finish the book, left with the feeling of wanting to read more of it, so you get up to see if you have the sequel somewhere around here.

As soon as you stand up, however, you heard someone outside shout “Lord Prince!”

And you freeze on the spot.

Someone shouting for the Prince? And a man named Doyoung in your store?

“No way, this isn’t a fucking disney movie”, you mumble in disbelief as the shouting man pounds on the door.

“Excuse me, you!”

“Calling me ‘you’? How rude”, you say to no one in particular as you unlock the door. The man hurries in and starts barging over quite loudly to Doyoung when your protective instincts kick in. You grab the man by the wrist, whipping him around to face you.

“I’m sorry but he’s asleep and you need to let him rest. He was exhausted when he came in, so please let him sleep at least a little longer”

“Do you realize who I am?”, the man asks.

“No but frankly, I don’t care. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days”, you argue.

“...you’re right about that. I don’t know the last time he’s slept for more than a few hours at a time”, the man sighs.

You let go of his wrist, relieved that he’ll let Doyoung rest. But then you think, “Why do I care so much?”

Not able to find a reason, you pass off the feeling as your patriotic concern for the well being of your country’s Prince.

But even you know that’s bullshit. You just weren’t ready to admit to yourself that you’re catching feelings for the p r i n c e for fucks sake.

You pull up a second chair behind the front counter, and bring this guy, who introduced himself as Johnny, the prince’s butler, tea and cookies, just as you had done for Doyoung. It’s the least you could do, since you're telling him to wait.

For once, you're the one listening to his stories. Johnny confides in you his worries about the prince’s physical and mental health, telling you how Doyoung has been working himself to the bone, trying to know everything possible in order to be a good king one day. He also tells you in more detail about how Doyoung hasn’t been able to fall asleep due to stressing out and worrying himself about the fate of his country, and his own capability to reign as a good and fair king.

“But my real question is, how did you get him to fall asleep? Please tell me you didn’t drug the cookies”, Johnny asks jokingly.

“I drugged no ones cookies. He came in because he was curious about the book I wrote, so I was telling him part of the storyline when he dozed off”

“So you told him a bedtime story, essentially?”, he rationalized.

“I’d like to think that my bestselling novel is of higher literary merit than a bedtime story but if that helps you explain what happened, then sure, but-”, you began to say very sarcastically before Johnny hushes you.

“Shh! He’s getting up!”

And that, he was. First Doyoung sits up, rubbing his eyes. He looks around the room with the most adorable panicked expression on his face, probably having forgotten where he was. Finally, he gets up and turns around, facing the two of you. Suddenly that panicked expression became more serious.

Doyoung: “What have you told them?”, he asks his butler sternly, as more of a command than a question.

You: “Nothing too terrible, Prince Doyoung, he’s not much of a gossip”, you reply lightly, trying to ease the tension.

Doyoung: “So you know that I’m… I wasn’t trying to-”

You: “Sweetheart, I do not care that you’re the prince. I do care that you let me call you dreamy to your face. Gosh, how embarrassing”

Doyoung: “You don’t… care?”

You: “No, why should I? You’re a person, aren’t you?”

Doyoung: “Well… yeah”, he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

You: “So am I. So don’t think you’re getting special treatment, Prince Dreamy”

Doyoung: “Prince Dreamy?”

You: “I think it’s quite fitting, don’t you?”, you said playfully to Johnny, who gives a thumbs up, playing along. You assume it isn’t often that he gets the opportunity to pick fun at his prince.

Doyoung: “I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult”, he comments, popping a cookie in his mouth.

You: “Well it’s either that or Prince Hardass, which would you prefer?”, you say nonchalantly. And with that, Doyoung chokes on the cookie, coughing and hitting his hand on his chest.

Doyoung: “You could’ve killed me!”

You: “Oh and I would be charged with treason and hanged for the killing of Prince Hardass. How tragic”

Johnny: “Tragic indeed”, laughing at your banter with the prince.

After a brief silence, the feeling of the room changed to something more serious, yet again.

Johnny: “I’m sorry for his majesty’s intrusion of your time, but the prince must now return to his duties. We’ll be on our way”

You: “It was no problem! It’s only been around… oh. Seven hours”, you say, checking your watch.

Doyoung stands there hesitantly, looking at you like he wants to say something but can’t.

You: “Oh, I know!”, you shout, standing up from your chair abruptly. You walk over to one of the towering shelves of books and pull down your novel from the top shelf. Grabbing a pen off the counter, you quickly write your signature on the inside cover and hand the book to Doyoung.

You: “You liked where the story was going, right? Now you can finish it!”

Doyoung: “Oh, um… thank you. How much is it?”

You: “Free of charge, Prince Dreamy. Don’t worry about it”

That particular comment makes his cheeks tint a bright shade of pink. You figure the crown prince isn’t used to being called dreamy to his face.

The two men leave the shop, the bell by the door ringing as the door slams behind them.

You miss the presence of the snarky prince, and decide to clean the shop to get your mind off of today’s craziness.

Doyoung on the other hand, was both happy and confused.

He knew three things.

One- That that was the first time he’d slept somewhat soundly in months.

Two- That your book sounds super interesting and he can’t wait to go back to the palace to read it.

And three- He’s pretty sure he’s crushing on you. Hard.

Something about you is just so… comfortable to him. You're welcoming even though he just barged into your store, you made cookies and tea for fucks sake, and you didn’t change your attitude or demeanor around him when you found out he’s the prince.

That last point meant a lot to him. Most people upon finding out his royal status made it their goal to suck up to him to get something from him. You on the other hand, roasted the hell out of him, and he’s pretty sure he loves you for it.

Johnny had ridden a carriage into town, so Doyoung didn’t get to walk back, like he usually prefers to. Going for a walk clears his mind, and his mind could use quite a lot of clearing.

The entire ride back, he thinks about something other than the future of his country for once- he thinks about you.

And even when he gets back to the palace, he can’t manage to get you off his mind. Which although it’s sweet, for Doyoung’s focus it’s problematic.

Johnny informs Doyoung that he should finish his reading on fruit harvests and then call it a day.

So there Doyoung sits- at his usual spot in the Royal Literature Hall, staring blankly at the words on the pages and pages of harvest reports.

If he couldn't focus before, he definitely can't focus now.

“It's just a crush, just a stupid crush”, he mutters to himself while pushing away the stack of papers.

“I'll just read their book and get them out of my system. I'll get over these brief feelings when I finish the story”, Doyoung tells himself, pulling out the book you'd given him earlier in the day.

Placing it carefully on the table, he flips to the first page.

And then the second page.

And by the time he's gotten to the two hundred and fifty sixth page, he's fallen asleep yet again, his face resting in the crease of the book, his nose acting as the perfect bookmark.

Little did he know that his butler, Johnny, had come back to make sure Doyoung had finished his task, only to find his master out cold, yet again.

Johnny: “There are over a hundred beds in this castle, Prince Doyoung. I implore you to choose one”

Doyoung shoots up in his seat, awoken by Johnny’s sassy remark.

Doyoung: “Sorry, I didn't plan to fall asleep, it just keeps happening”

Johnny: “It's great to see you resting, but are their stories really that boring? Enough to lull you to sleep?”

Doyoung: “No no, that's not it at all. Their stories are lovely and soothing. I think that's why they put me to sleep. It's easier to think of their fantasy worlds than it is to face the reality of having to be king one day”

Johnny: “You talk of the throne as if it's a burden”

Doyoung: “Some days I feel like it is”

On that note, Doyoung gathers his things and makes his way to his room.

He sits on his bed and picked up the copy of Shimmerlight, tempted to read more.

“Just one more chapter”, he lies to himself.

Five chapters later, Doyoung's asleep, dreaming of the world of magic that you'd created.

Every night that week, Doyoung would read more and more of your book until one fateful night- he finishes it.

“What? That can't be the end!”, Doyoung shouts to the universe at like one in the morning. He immediately slaps his hand over his mouth, realizing the late hour.

He slept fine that night, but the night after that, he couldn't sleep at all. He doesn't have anything of yours to read, and he doesn't have you there to tell him stories, so he just lays there.

He tries counting sheep, controlled breathing, and all the other bullcrap Johnny advised him to do, but alas. Not even a wink of sleep.

Pulling this all-nighter causes Doyoung’s mood and morale to plummet. He finally found a way to sleep well and now it was over.

After grumbling and researching whatever dull task Johnny assigns him for the day, Doyoung finds himself unable to focus. He’d only met you once, and yet you managed to have such a significant impact on him.

“I’ll get over it- I’ll get over them”, Doyoung said aloud. He’d forgotten his attentive butler happened to be looming over his shoulder at the time.

Johnny: “You’ll get over who, exactly?”, he asks with the curiosity of a gossiping school girl.

Doyoung: “It’s nothing- forget it”

Johnny: “Mhmm... the less you say, the more you reveal, Prince Doyoung”

With a huff and a sigh, Doyoung comes to the conclusion that his butler is not going to leave him alone until he spills the metaphorical beans.

Doyoung: “...well do you remember the person who gave me the book Shimmerlight?”

Johnny: “Yes, I remember them very clearly, having had to talk to them instead of dragging you back to the castle after looking for you for hours”

Doyoung: “Look- you’ve already lectured me. Do you want to know what’s on my mind or not?”

Johnny: “I will admit I am quite curious. Before that day, I didn’t think anyone’s comments could fluster you, Prince Doyoung. Or should I say Prince Dreamy?”, he teases the moping prince.

Doyoung: “Ugh, forget it!”

Johnny: “My apologies for picking fun at royalty like yourself, Prince Doyoung. You just make it so easy”

Doyoung continues to confide in his butler, but not before shooting him a piercing glare.

Doyoung: “I just can’t stop thinking about them- no matter how much I try to block out thoughts of them with thoughts about literally anything else. And even worse, the only thing that can put me to sleep nowadays are their stories. And g o s h those cookies were so good”

Johnny: “I agree with you on that last one. With cookies like that, we ought to hire them as a pastry chef here at the castle”

And then it happens. The epiphany Doyoung's been waiting for all this time.

Doyoung: “Not as a chef, then they’d be stuck in the kitchens all day. We’ll hire them as a librarian, so they can work here- in the Royal Literature Hall”

Johnny: “...may I refrain from formality for just a moment?”

Doyoung: “...yes?”

Johnny: “Doyoung you c a n n o t hire someone to work for you just because you have a crush on them”

Doyoung: “I'm literally the prince, who is going to stop me”

Alden: “Ugh... I don’t like it. But if you insist, I’ll send a messenger to fetch them and bring them here to the cast-”

Doyoung: “No way, I’ll go talk to them. Don’t worry about it”

Doyoung doesn’t hesitate to rush out of the Literature Hall and out of the castle.

It takes him a good minute to realize that it’s raining, but there’s no time to waste, so he pulls up the hood of his jacket and keeps running towards town.

Johnny yelling in the background: “I would’ve gotten a fucking carriage if you would’ve waited five minutes-”

Finally, after the most running Doyoung’s done in years, he ends up at the front door of Honey Bee’s Buzzing Books, and this time he doesn’t hesitate to enter.

“Y/N? Y/N!”, he shouts into the seemingly empty store.

“Listen dude, you can’t come barging in here and start yelling”

For a fraction of a second, Doyoung feels a glimmer of hope, until he turns to the front desk and sees some boy instead of you there. He runs up the counter, regardless. Eyeing the boy’s name tag, Doyoung begins his frantic interrogation.

Doyoung: “Listen- is Renjun your name?”

Renjun: “Yeah, why else would I have ‘Renjun’ plastered across my chest?”

Doyoung: “Do you know where Y/N is?”

Renjun: “Home, like they should be. It’s their day off”

Doyoung bolts out the door, getting a whole four steps into the street before realizing he doesn’t know where you live.

He steps timidly back into the store, where Renjun is still sitting at the front desk with an all-knowing look plastered on his face.

Doyoung: “...would you happen to know their address?”

Renjun: “Of course, I’m their best friend. Would you like to know it?”

Doyoung: “Yes, please”

Renjun: “Then answer me one thing, Prince Doyoung. What’s your goal here? Just because you’re the prince doesn’t mean you can go around breaking hearts”

Doyoung: “My feelings for them have nothing to do with this- I want to offer them a job as the Royal Literature Hall’s head librarian”

Renjun: “...are you serious right now?”

Doyoung: “I know that would mean taking them away from your bookshop and I’m really sorry about that but I need them-”

Renjun: “No- you don’t understand. That is their dream job. You have to go tell them!”

Doyoung: “Really? I had no idea”

Renjun: “Well what are you doing just standing there! Go get them!”, he orders, scribbling your address onto a sticky note and sticking it to Doyoung’s forehead.

Doyoung: “Thank you!”, he shouts to the now gleeful Renjun, grabs the note off his bangs and bolts out the door.

Meanwhile...

A few blocks from the book shop, you’re having a lazy day at home, oblivious to the prince’s distress, and to his feelings for you.

The knocking at your door startles you into dropping the book you were reading. You have no clue who's on the other side but by the way they're slamming on the door, you're afraid they'd break it off its hinges. And paying for that to be fixed was the last thing you wanted to do.

You swing open the door, rubbing your eyes due to having just been woken up.

You: “Renjun, should you be at-”

“I'm not Renjun”

You stop rubbing your eyes and look up to the last person you expect- Prince Doyoung.

You drag him inside, preaching a mini-lecture on how “you should at least bring an umbrella if you’re stupid enough to go out during a storm like this”

And oh boy, he looks at you like you’re a whole other species.

You: “What??”

Doyoung: “No it’s just… no one’s ever really nagged me other than Johnny. I’m not used to it”

You: “Well save it Prince Dreamy, I’m not used to princes making a wet mess of my home”, you clap back and go to get him something dry to wear.

Stepping back into the front room, you find the prince of this nation awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.

“Here, go change into this”, you say, tossing him some oversized clothes you happen to have lying around.

He mumbles his thanks as you point out the bathroom for him to change in.

Him stripping down in the middle of your living room wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world as far as you’re concerned, but you figure you’ll save him the embarrassment.

While he’s getting out of those drenched clothes, you get to work brewing some tea and getting out whatever suitable snacks you have in the pantry.

By the time he steps out, you’ve got the table set with some sweets, at least, but the tea’s still not ready just quite yet.

You: “You sure took your time. What did you do, go through my medicine cabinet to make sure I’m not some kind of spy?”

Doyoung: “How would me looking through your medicine cabinet give me any kind of inkling of your loyalty to this country? And no, I was trying and failing to dry my hair”

You: “Oh sorry, I didn’t think of that. Gimme a second”, you say and scurry down the hall to get a towel.

The last thing you need is to be beheaded because the crown prince caught a cold on your watch.

You chuck a fluffy, pink towel at the prince, hitting him straight in the face.

...whoops

You: “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! My aim is terrible”

Doyoung: “It’s fine, really. I didn’t come here to recruit you as an archer or anything”, he says as the two of you take a seat at the table.

You: “Yeah about that- why did you come here? I don’t recall giving you an address, but you’re the prince so I guess you have a heightened stalking capabilities”

Doyoung: “I wasn’t trying to invade your privacy, I just have something important to ask you”

You: “Ah, I see. Well I hate to break it to you, but you should at least take me on a few dates before proposing. I’ll have to respectfully decline”

Doyoung: “Haha, very funny. In all seriousness, though, I would like you to come work at the castle. Work for me, that is”

You: “As what, a servant? Baker? Seamstress? Oh gosh please not a seamstress, I haven’t sewed anything in years and even then it was… tragic to say the least”

Doyoung: “I want you to work in the Royal Literature Hall as a librarian. You’d still have down time to write and if you don’t know how the Dewey Decimal system works, I’m sure Johnny could teach you. Actually, Johnny wouldn’t know but Taeyong probably does”

You: “...”

Doyoung: “So… what do you say?”

You: “Pardon my language your Royal Dreaminess, but are you fucking with me right now? Is this a joke?”

Doyoung: “I’m completely serious. That would be a pretty cruel joke”

You: “Okay then yes, yes, yes! A thousand times yes! Oh my gosh, when can I come to the castle?”

Just then, you hear frantic knocking at the door yet again.

You: “Did you bring friends?”

Doyoung: “My friends live in the other kingdoms or the castle so... most likely no”

You and Doyoung creep quietly over to the door, cautious of who else would show up at night in the middle of a storm.

Unlocking the door, you swing it open just enough for the two of you to peer through the sliver of space.

You: “Oh. Hi Mr. Butler, sir!”

You open the door all the way and let in the peeved and drenched guy. You’re just glad he’s pissed at Prince Doyoung and not you. Wouldn’t wanna be on the receiving end of that angry look.

Johnny: “Prince Doyoung, just because you are royalty doesn’t mean that you can disregard time and even more so- curfews. They still apply, regardless of your status, wouldn’t you agree, Y/N?”

You: “Ah… of course? When I was younger, I never broke curfew for fear of… well... a situation like this”

Doyoung: “I’ve just offered you your dream job, shouldn’t you side with me on this?”

Johnny: “Bribery is never appropriate, Prince Doyoung. Plus, the carriage is waiting for the both of you”

You: “Both of us?”

Johnny: “Yes, both of you. We can come back for your essential belongings tomorrow, but for now, the place you’re needed most is the castle. Am I assuming wrong about your reply to the Prince’s proposition?”

You: “Oh no, of course I’ve accepted- don’t worry about that! I just didn’t expect to be leaving so soon. I’ve got a few things I’d really like to bring tonight though.

Doyoung: “Whatever we can fit into the carriage should be fine”

The two boys help you pack the carriage with stuff and by the time you’re finished, there’s only just enough room for you and the Prince on one side.

Johnny reluctantly leaves the two of you by yourselves and takes his place as driver of the carriage, leading the horses on the mildly bumpy road back to the castle.

By this point in time, the storm has died down to only the smallest drizzle, the sound of rain being more soothing than its previous hectic plundering.

You’re not sure if it’s because it’s been a long day for you both, or the physical closeness of the two of you, but Doyoung seems suddenly quite shy of you.

Not wanting to say anything to make him even more uncomfortable, your attention stays on your stuff, making sure none get knocked over on the occasional bump in the road. Doyoung, however, is the one who breaks the silence.

Doyoung: “I loved your book”

You: “My what?”

Doyoung: “Your book. Shimmerlight. It’s very well written, I’m baffled to even begin to try and imagine how you came up with the plot”

You: “Ah, I could tell you, but that’d ruin all the fun. Some things are better left a mystery”

Doyoung: “Yeah, I guess so…”, he says, not even trying to mask the disappointment in his voice.

You: “I can tell you a dumb story Renjun told me the other day?”

Doyoung: “Well I just have to hear that”

The amount of time that passes is a mystery, seemingly lasting forever and coming to an end all too quickly.

For Prince Doyoung though, it probably felt like a few minutes, seeing as the sleepless boy dozes off on you about half way through the part where the story gets dumb.

It’s a good thing that he was out cold when he dozed off, his cheek nuzzling into your soft hair, otherwise he’d definitely be able to hear your heart pounding a mile a minute.

Does he even know he has this effect on you? Probably not.

“He likes me for my books”, you remind yourself out loud as the carriage comes to a stop at the front gate of the castle.

“I like you for you too, you beautiful idiot”, he mumbles sleepily, having just woken up.

Your mind frantically searches for something coherent to say back but fails. It wouldn’t matter anyway, because Prince Doyoung opens the carriage door and not-so-gracefully tumbles onto the dirt road.

“Oh shit”, you curse, flinging yourself out of the same door and crouching next to the boy laying on the ground. Johnny is quick to notice and hops down from his position at the reigns and asks what happened.

You: “”I don’t know, he just fell and- oh my gosh he’s got a fever”, you report, your palm feeling the heat and sweat coming off his forehead.

Johnny: “Of course he would get sick, having not slept well in weeks and frolicking through a thunderstorm”, he says with a sigh.

You: “What do you mean he’s not been sleeping? With his responsibilities, he should be resting as much as he can!”

Johnny: “That’s exactly the problem, dear, but right now we’ve got more pressing matters on our hands. I can’t just leave the carriage and horses here, so I’ll need you to take his Royal Highness to his room. Once you’re in the main corridor, it’s the hall on the right and then the third door to the right. Try not to be seen, he won’t want his parents to know about him going into town, they don’t approve of it. Here’s my butler’s pin- if anyone questions your authority, show them that pin and explain that you’re under direct orders from me, understood?”, he explains, placing the pin gently in your hand.

Before you can even respond, he’s back at the reigns and taking off to what you assume is the direction of the stables.

After ten minutes of arguing with the semi-conscious Prince, you convince him to stand, one of his muscular arms swung across your shoulders.

Lugging him through halls, getting horrendously lost, and hiding from every scary looking guard you see, it takes you even longer to get to his room, but you eventually find your way there.

You open the elegant oak door what you hope with all your might is his room, and thank all the deities that there are candles lit from earlier, allowing you to be able to see the path to his bed.

Knowing your own clumsiness and exhaustion, running into a chair in the dark and dropping the ill Prince wouldn’t be out of the question.

Plopping him down on his bed, the weight of him being way too much at this point, you look around the room, searching for something to signify that you have the right place.

It only takes one glance to the bedside table to find what you’re looking for- your book, opened to the page with your signature.

A smile comes to your face briefly, until he breaks into a coughing fit and your mind goes back into somewhat of a panic.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me”, you mutter to yourself as you take off Prince Doyoung’s shoes and struggle to get all of his lanky limbs under the covers.

Doyoung: “You know… you swear a lot for someone so polite”, he laughs, not even letting his feverish state stop him from poking fun at you.

You: “Arguably, I’ve never been under more stress in my life, so I think I have earned that right”, you say, coming back to him with a freshly wet washcloth in your hands.

Doyoung: “Don’t worry- it’s not a bad thing. It’s actually really cute”

And there goes the washcloth out of your hands. Right onto the floor.

Making the trip of shame back to the bathroom to get another washcloth, you cautiously make your way back over to his bedside, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

There’s not really much you can do other than put the clean washcloth over his forehead, so you try to get up, but the Prince’s clammy hand grabs a weak hold of your wrist.

Doyoung: “Please… please don’t leave”, he says with enough desperation to pull at every emotion you have.

“I’m falling for you way faster than I imagined I would”, is what you want to say, knowing that he probably won’t remember in the morning, but ultimately decide that it’s not worth the risk.

You: “Don’t worry, I’ll stay. Of course I’ll stay”

Doyoung: “Would you mind reading to me? I think it’ll-”, he starts, but breaks off into another coughing fit.

Seeing him like this is breaking your heart into a million pieces, so you reach over for your book on the nightstand and settle in next to him under the covers.

You: “Where do you want me to start?”, you ask, hoping your tone isn’t conveying all of your feelings.

Doyoung: “From the beginning, of course”

And that’s how Johnny finds the two of you once he’s finished at the stables. Both in bed, you lying on your back with your book covering your face, and Prince Doyoung on his side with his arm thrown over your waist.

Johnny would break up the “inappropriate behavior”, but this is the first time in too long that the Prince’s face hasn’t been tense in his sleep. For once he’s actually relaxed and resting well.

And the clever butler’s got more than just an inkling that it’s got everything to do with you.

Waking up that next morning is… startling, to say the least.

With Prince Doyoung’s face nuzzled into your shoulder, close enough to feel his breath on your skin, and no personal recollection of how you got there, you just lay there with him, heart pounding out of your chest like it always does around him.

Slowly but surely, last night’s memories trickle back into mind, you recalling the whole “come be my librarian and write stories in your down time” and the carriage ride, and dragging the sick Prince around the castle.

And of course- how sad he looked when he thought you would leave.

Shivering a little bit, you block that thought out of mind. You should be excited! New job, new opportunities, new place and- oh my gosh you haven’t told Renjun.

Of course, the Prince decides to wake up in your brief moment of panic.

Doyoung: “What’s wrong?”, he mumbles groggily into your ear, making you tense up at his closeness.

You: “It’s- It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. More importantly how are you feeling?”, you ask, sitting up and putting your hand over his forehead. His fever’s gone down, but it’s not completely gone.

Doyoung: “Well I’ve not fallen over so far today, so that’s a personal accomplishment”

You: “You’ve been awake for all of thirty seconds and you haven’t even made an effort to get up”

Doyoung: “Sleeping with me and then making snarky remarks- I see how you feel”

You: “It wasn’t my goal to- I normally wouldn’t….”, you start but drone off into flustered silence.

Getting out of bed, you tell the sleepy Prince that you’re going to go find some medicine for his fever and that you’ll be right back.

He makes a point to open his eyes and look into yours, as if he’s searching for some hint of dishonesty, and he blinks a few times in surprise when he finds none.

Doyoung: “Alright. Good luck navigating the halls”

You: “It should be easier now that it’s day time and everything’s light”

Doyoung: “With you here, even nights seem more light”

You shoot him an embarrassed glare before fumbling with the door handle and exiting the room.

You get about a good twenty steps down the hallway before being stopped by a guard.

“Excuse me but who are you? What business do you have in this castle”

You: “Oh, well. I'm Y/N, and the prince is feeling under the weather so I was looking for an infirmity? Or anywhere I might be able to find something for his fever”

“Wait, you're Y/N?! Like the Prince’s Y/N?”

You: “Uhhh I’m not exactly his property but I’d consider us friends…?”

“Yikes. Friendzoned and not even to his face…”

You: “What?? Also what is your name if you don’t mind me asking”

“Taeyong. Lee Taeyong. And we have a medic on staff at all times, you should be able to get something for fevers from her”

You: “Okay, thank you Taeyong”, you say and begin to walk away, thinking the conversation’s over.

Taeyong: “One last thing, though! Can you please let me know when he’s well again?

You: “Of course! I’ll keep you updated as much as I can”

Taeyong: “Wow, you really are like he’s said”

You: “And what’s he said exactly?”

Taeyong: “That you’re caring and sweet. Take good care of him, alright?”, he says nonchalantly, as if that wasn’t the biggest boost to your already too hopeful heart.

Power-walking your way to the infirmary, you shake of the feeling of Prince Doyoung’s lovableness creeping into your heart.

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, and most of it’s a blur if you’re being quite honest with yourself. After retrieving the medicine from the complete opposite side of the castle, you make your way back to Doyoung’s room and instruct him on what to take and when.

From there, you spend the rest of the day following around the Head Librarian and learning the ropes of the job, where the book binding materials are, how to properly use the filing system, where each genre section is, and most importantly, where the prince’s workspace is and to “never interrupt his already permeable concentration”.

At Prince Doyoung’s request, the room across from his has been prepared for you to stay in and all your things have been brought there.

You fought him on it, saying that he was in no state to make that kind of decision, but he said that he wouldn’t want you anywhere else.

He won that argument, because all you could do after a statement like that is blush uncontrollably and flee.

Prince Doyoung with a fever is a lot more forward with his feelings than normal, bumbling Prince Doyoung.

And that was the other thing. Before you could escape to your room, Prince Doyoung asks for you to call him by his name without the title.

He’s the prince of this country though?? What right would you have to be so informal with him?

Well. You did sleep in his bed. With him in it.

You’re still unsure about it but at least he’s comfortable enough with you to ask that??

The next day when you report for duty, you’re shocked to see Prince Doyoung- well, Doyoung, at his workspace, with a worried looking Johnny looming behind him as always.

Disregarding what the head librarian told you yesterday, you walk right up to Doyoung.

He looks away from the mountain of papers on the table to meet your gaze, and the tired, far away look in his eyes is almost too much to bear.

Doyoung: “Did you need something?”

You: “Yeah, I need the prince of our country to live to see the end of the week. What are you doing out of bed?”

Doyoung: “This needs to get done, it’s doesn’t matter if I-”

You: “Doesn’t matter if you what? Faint again? Can you even stand right now?”

Doyoung: “I can stand, I can even walk!”

Turning to Johnny, you give him the “what actually is the situation” look.

Johnny: “Your royal highness, I did have to practically carry you half of the way here”

You: “Then carry him back. Right now”

Doyoung: “And who are you to be making such orders?”, he says with a harsher tone than you’ve ever heard him use before.

You: “If you refuse to take care of yourself, who else do you think will?”, you say quietly, your feelings clearly hurt.

At first you think you may have gone to far with saying that, because he snaps his head away from you and stares at all the papers and documents he needs to read.

But then he stands up, and with some help from Johnny, makes his way back to his room and back to bed.

He does all this without a word, and without even the slightest glance in your direction.

Pissing off the person who hired you isn’t what you wanted to happen on your first day on the job, especially when that person is someone you really care about.

He’s not well enough to be working on his own like this… but maybe he doesn’t have to do all the work himself.

You gather up all the documents you can carry and take them to Doyoung’s room.

Your hands are full… so you kind of kick the door instead of knocking and hope he gets the idea.

From your place in the hallway, you can hear shuffling and movement from inside the room, and finally, he opens the door.

Blinking multiple times, he just stares at you wide-eyed.

You: “So are you gonna let me in or….?”

Doyoung: “Oh yeah, of course umm- about earlier…”, he starts and moves out of the doorway, ushering you into the room.

Plopping yourself down in the cushy chair by the window, you look up to him to show that you’re listening.

Doyoung: “I’ve been… stressed out. To say the least. All these papers of things I need to know to be a good king someday and it’s just been eating away at me. So I haven’t been sleeping much- my mind is always on something. So reading your books and listening to you has helped with that so of all the people for me to be rude to of course my dumb ass was rude to you… what I’m trying to say is that I’m really sorry. I know you were just trying to look out for me”

You: “Don’t worry about it, I could’ve been more tactful in my approach as well. But I’ve got these!”, you say, lifting the stupidly heavy papers off your lap.

Doyoung: “Are those my…?”

You: “Yep! I brought these so I could help you go through them”

Doyoung: “Wow, you’re an angel”

You: “I wouldn’t go that far?? Aha it’s not that much really, I uh- here’s one on the castle’s construction, let’s start there”

And so that’s exactly what the two of you do for the next several days. Doyoung lays in bed and you skim through the documents, telling him the important parts, which he writes down. When he gets worn out, you take breaks and bring him tea and cold medicine.

One morning you even wake up early to go down to the kitchens and bake cookies to surprise him with, and oh boy- he smiles so wide his gums show and his eyes crinkle and you think your heart might e x p l o d e with absolute adoration for this boy.

When he’s fully recovered, the two of your stop your little routine and you go back to the Literature Hall to work and he goes back to his workspace to fuss over crop rotations and blah blah blah.

You make sure to ask Johnny to let Taeyong and the rest of the guard know of Doyoung’s wellbeing

The head librarian get’s pissy with you every time you go over to Doyoung to bring him snacks and drinks but you do it anyway, lol some lady ain’t gonna stop you.

In a big ass library like this that’s pretty much limited to royalty and nobles who would rather be out partying than checking out books, it’s easy to get bored.

Your job is to maintain the books but there’s not much to maintain if no one takes them off the shelves.

With so much free time during your shifts, you find yourself spending most of your time working on a new romance novel that you started the day after you met Doyoung coincidence I think absolutely n o t

It’s highkey about him.

So that’s what a day in the life is for you- writing and making sure Doyoung eats and stays hydrated.

About a month later, when you bring him little goodies, you notice the bags under his eyes and his slouching posture. It’s clear that he hasn’t been sleeping well, but it’s not like he can just stop worrying either.

Saying “hey man, don’t worry about it, it’s just the fate of the country!” won’t exactly help and you’re clear outta ideas. But it can’t hurt it ask, can it?

You: “Umm… Doyoung?”, you say timidly. Even though he told you to, you hadn’t called him by just his name yet, but you try it thinking it might cheer him up.

He whips his head to the side and has the most “???” happy look on his face.

You: “Do you want to take a break? I mean you’ve been at this for hours and-”

From his seated position, he wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face in the warmth of your sweater.

You: “Is that a yes??”

He nods with his face still on you abdomen, making you laugh.

“Okay then, let’s go”, you say and pry his arms off of you, leading him out of the literature hall by his hand, almost like you would a child.

You lead him to his room and tell him to go take a nap, but as you’re about to turn and leave, he grabs your hand again.

Doyoung: “I know this is a lot to ask but… listening to you talk seems to be the only thing that helps me get to sleep so would you mind reading me something?”

You: “Of course! What do you want me to read?”

Doyoung: “What about that new book you’re writing? You’ve yet to tell me anything about it”

You: “I- uh. Yes, I can read you what I have so far, just let me go get it…”

He goes into his room and you go into yours across the hall to get the book and oH goSH how did you get yourself into this one?

Let’s just hope he doesn’t banish you from the country when he hears your feelings for him because you can bet this book is full of them.

Or maybe he’ll be too tired to really pick up on it??

Either way, you make your way back into his room to see him on one side of the bed instead of his usual spot aka taking up the damn whole thing.

You: “Are we doing this again?”

Doyoung: “I mean you can stand if you want to but that seems pretty uncomfortable”

Sighing and smiling a little, you climb into bed next to him, painfully aware of the small amount of space between the two of you, and start reading.

It’s not long before his eyes flutter shut and his breathing becomes more slow and rhythmic.

“I’ll finish this paragraph and then duck out”, you think to yourself.

You: “he’s already woven himself through my every heartstring. I’m afraid if he leaves my heart will be left with nothing but holes and the emptiness filling-”

Doyoung: “I… won’t”, you think you hear him say.

You: “I- are you awake?”

Doyoung: “I said I won’t. I won’t leave you so you don’t have to worry”, he half says/half mumbles and throws and arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

You’re at a loss for words, not believing that this could actually be happening.

Doyoung: “You do realize that I’m in love with you too, right?”, he whispers into your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You: “Well I do now… and aren’t you a little cocky to assume my book is about you”

Doyoung: “You call him dreamy. You called me dreamy. It’s not that hard to put the two together”

You: “That’s on like the second page! You’ve just been letting me go on and on about how much I love you for what? Shits and giggles?”

Doyoung: “So you do? Love me?”

You: “Of course I do, I wouldn’t be worrying over you if I didn’t”

Doyoung: “You don’t need to worry about me so much”

You: “And you don’t need to worry about the country so much. You don’t have to do it alone, and you need to give the people more credit for being able to function without the meddling hands of royalty”

Doyoung: “Hey, these meddling hands are yours to hold~”

You: “One more cheesy line and I’m fleeing the country”

Doyoung: “Hmph, and you call me dramatic”

The two of you stay like that for a while, chatting about this and that, and eventually drifting off to a much needed sleep.

Johnny is unsurprised by the news of you two dating.

Johnny: “With that amount of flirting, I’d be more shocked if something didn’t happen”

You write to Renjun telling him about all that’s happened, and he quickly replies that “I know he’s the Prince but you could still do better”

Being the significant other of the Prince is??? Not something your brain can really comprehend.

Being the significant other of Doyoung, however- that makes a lot more sense.

You don’t really see him as “Prince Dreamy” like the girls in town faun over him. He’s more like “my clumsy boyfriend who cares to much about everything and needs to take a break”

But heyyyy that’s what you’re here for- to remind him to take care of himself and to put himself first.

The staff around the castle have really noticed a shift in his mood. He walks through the halls with his shoulders high, and he smiles and waves to everyone like he did when he was younger.

And boo we all know it’s because of you.

And lastly- he has to move his workplace to somewhere outside of the Royal Literature Hall because you’re too distracting and he can’t focus with you around. He just wants to bother you and love you instead of doing his work.

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xtattlecrimex-blog · 6 years ago

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Why Do You Keep Doing This?

A lot of people wonder why I keep doing this. I know a good portion of it is just fascination. Hannibal is one of the lesser known TV shows it’s a cult show. I’m aware that there are a lot of shows like this but honestly, this has got to be one of the worst fandoms (if not the worst) I’ve ever come across. The behavior of the majority of these people is unparalleled to any other fandom I’ve personally been in or witnessed. Now, one of the biggest arguments people throw at me all the time is “There are crazy idiots in every fandom” which I’m not even denying but in these fandoms the vast majority of the fans aren’t crazy. The Fannibals are a different story.

See, Hannibal is a cult show. I’ve already discussed how it caters to people with mental illness as well as attracts them. It glamorizing significant behavioral issues that are violent and criminal so it makes these women who are watching the show feel like they are safe. Like they are okay. Like they are special because they are also incredibly mentally unstable. It normalizes and romanticizes abuse. It gives severely abnormal people something to cling to and a community of other severely mentally ill women to be friends with so they can all reside in an echo chamber where all of them are normal and it’s the world that is wrong. It created a community of these people who have the inability to be able to see how incredibly obnoxious (and sometimes terrifying) their behavior actually is. Even more, it’s all perpetuated and encouraged by the creator of the show which also isn’t the norm at all.

If you take another fandom, and my favorite “Go-To” Fandom for this example is Supernatural, you will see the creator doesn’t advocate that behavior. At all. The stars of the show also have historically refused to put up with the crazy girls. Are there really crazy Supernatural fans? Yes. Are they the vast majority of the fandom? Not in the least. That’s what separates the Fannibals from another fandom with crazy fan girls. We are talking majority versus minority. Even in other fandoms for other cult TV shows (or movies) you still won’t find that the majority of the people are insane like the fannibals and even if you could you wouldn’t find the creator getting on Twitter and going to conventions to encourage the crazy behavior. We have a combination of an egotistical, power hungry show creator who ships his own fictional characters as much as his insane fans. This is practically unheard of and when anyone complains and I ask them to name me just one other creator who has ever behaved this way, well they are very hard pressed to do it.

Then, of course, the question that comes up next is “who is this harming?” well at lot of people. It’s actually, in real life, harming a lot of people. This fandom (and groups like this in general) typically do. If it’s not some kind of scam that’s being run to trick people out of their money then it also gives room for sexual predators to move in and prey on easy targets. Young girls who are so blinded by their love of the show that they don’t realize that hanging out with a 45 year old women who wants to read them erotic gay fan fiction is a very weird thing to do. It also has the potential to harm many more people, and of course, the actual cast of the show. Things can get out of control super easily with a situation like this, especially when it’s being encouraged by the creator of the show and to some extent the actors themselves. The actors who I’m pretty sure aren’t super aware of how bad it gets behind the scenes. Even if one can plainly see the “deer in the headlights” look that Hugh Dancy obviously gets when he’s accosted by these people, he probably doesn’t know all the details.

I would highly doubt that Hugh or Mads actually know the extent of how deep this runs for these girls who are tracking them down. That we have women who 100% believe that these men are gay for each other and Bryan Fuller is some type of catalyst that brought them together for a secret love affair. That this isn’t fan fiction to them that this is reality. That these Fannibals are not afraid at all to send death threats, dox people, or attempt to destroy the lives of any person who doesn’t agree with them. That this is a religion for some these people. That some of them are so invested they are writing letters every day to TV networks to try to get them to pick up the show, that they build literal shrines to these actors and characters in their houses to pay tribute to, that they cosplay constantly and have no actual life outside of this fictional world. No, I don’t think Hugh and Mads understand or even know to what lengths these fans are going to in order to keep this up. Not at all. Some idea? Maybe, but not the exact idea. Which is okay given the fact that I really wouldn’t want them to find out. It would be pretty horrifying.

If people want to admit it, or not, this behavior is definitely harmful to people and could turn downright psychotic at any moment it’s hard to tell. If you take the statistics on stalking, for example, that’s such and unknown variable of danger. There’s actually no way of telling when or if it’ll escalate. Some stalkers always remain at the same level, some perpetually escalate until they commit a crime, some just suddenly lose interest and go away for ever never actually harming anyone. There’s no way to predict this, no way to know who’s dangerous, and no way to tell when or if it will climb to the level of actual murder. This is all backed by data. If this is the case, then who’s to tell me that any one of these people doing the stalking (and there’s a bunch) won’t, one day, decide they can’t live without Hugh Dancy and stab him? If you think this is any sort of overreaction you can look up the dozens of cases where this has happened, including to actual actors. No one ever see it coming because it is just that unpredictable but it’s far from unheard of.

The problem is, that because this fandom is so small and there’s only a couple hundred women doing it, it flies under the radar. No one seems to care. Plus, they are women. They get a free pass. Everyone just assumes they are harmless little wallflowers being “normal fan girls” and I need to just leave them alone because they aren’t going to do anything. Psychological and statistical data says otherwise. As much as I can agree there is no telling if or when they may escalate I can certainly show a pattern of escalation from several of these women. How they were when they first started and how they are now. You don’t actually know how dangerous they are, neither do I, and no one is keeping an eye on them because everyone assumes that it’s stupid to do so. That they are just fans of a show and that’s it. I can tell you if this was a group of men going after two women constantly to hound them for pictures or bug them about a cancelled TV show they did years and years ago, people would take notice and everyone would be a lot more concerned, but it’s no the case with them because they are women. Massive double standards.

People commonly forget that for the entire first season I was a part of the fandom. I was one of them. People commonly forget that I’ve seen this behavior, first hand, on several occasions. People think, for some reason, that all I’m doing here is guessing based on speculation when that’s not what I’m doing. I can tell you from very first hand experience, not only running my blog but in real life, a huge portion of these people are terrifying, some are psychotic, and some are sexual predators. To turn a blind eye to it under the assumption that they aren’t harming anyone (or going to) or they haven’t ever harmed anyone is ludicrous. Why? Why do that? If you see a problem why turn away from it? Why not keep an eye on it? Bystander apathy is deadly and I, for one, refuse to be a part of it.

Maybe nothing will come of this, maybe one day they will all suddenly grow up and realize that this is fucking stupid and Hannibal isn’t coming back, Bryan Fuller is a liar, and Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy are just people who need to be left alone. That day is not today and until that day comes I’m going to keep watching them, because someone should be watching them. They are terrifying.

#Hannibal #Fannibal #Fannibals #Fannibal Family #Bryan Fuller #NBCHannibal #Hannigram #Mads Mikkelsen #Hugh Dancy

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abitterlifethroughcinema · 6 years ago

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#ABitterLifeThroughCinema’s WOKE! Film Reviews

The Top Ten (+1) Best Movies of 2018 and where to find them!

Lucas Avram Cavazos

+1…11. Overlord Having its premiere at this year’s Sitges Int’l Film Fest, Overlord not only happened to be one of the fave films screened there this past festival, but this cinematic fantasy is an all-too-real and stark portrayal of a horror that actually occurred, and it deserves a nod from the Barcelona film critic family, so here it goes. Duly noted, I’d say. It starts with an insane aerial combat mission on the night of D-Day, one which goes awry and sees only a handful of paratroopers surviving the drop when enemy fire rains hell. They land in provincial France and the plot sets out to detail some of the inner workings of the Third Reich in reference to the insane, gruesome experiments done on captured Europeans and Jews. Those stories you’ve heard about turning these poor people into guinea pigs for super soldier intent using potent, injected serums…yeah, those? They’re true, if you believe the words of JJ Abrams. Are they as utterly brutal and horror/zombie film-like as displayed here? I sure as hell hope not. (now available On Demand and DVD)

10. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs There once was a film called O Brother Where Art Thou? While this is not its sequel, there is a sharp-witted vein to this film that could only be crafted and gifted to us by the Coen Brothers. What a hoot it is, even if it is a rather darkly-tinted hue of that hoot and humour. It is also one of their finest in years. Revolving around the singing cowpoke Buster Scruggs (Tim Blake Nelson) and five other tales brought to us with the commonly-threaded theme of death in often brutally funny ways, this film is a fine return to oddball form from two of the finest sibling directors of all time. Starring Liam Neeson, James Franco, Zoe Kazan, even Tyne Daly and so many in its vignettes, and that acting star power fuses this Western comedy into new territory for the brothers. Their previous works set in the west always seemed to be re-hashing works of years gone by but here, with their usage of almost comic-book-like details and witty banter make this much more enjoyable than their other historical works like O Bother and their remake of True Grit. Best western in absolute years! (available on Netflix or VOD)

9. Eighth Grade This poignant little film, which should have been wide-released everywhere the world over, is given fierce and bittersweet star power by Elsie Fisher, protagonist and student at the heart of this film. Comedian Bo Turnham has brought us the quintessential coming-of-tweenage story and along with Fisher, everyone in this film is so perfectly placed in their roles, especially Josh Hamilton as her dad, who deserves some nominations for this film but is unlikely to get any. Telling the story of 13-year old Kayla, we the audience get a sneak-peek into the minds and lives of today’s young adults. From her simple YouTube videos made to encourage other young kids to her obvious desire to fit in with older kids to her insecurity with boys, this film paints a stark reality that too many have lived through and this little indie film deserves aplomb from anywhere it can get it! (now available On Demand and DVD)

8. A Star is Born I skipped the critics’ screening of this film for the mere fact that I couldn’t bear to see if the acting and plot lines were another torrid take on a much-redone film. Even into the holiday season, I had not yet seen it and then when I did, I certainly took back any reservations. Bradley Cooper’s update of the film starring himself and Lady Gaga is just about as good as everyone said it was, and that was beyond refreshing to note post-viewing. In many ways, I feel that Cooper is likely revealing a few things about himself with the guise of “it’s a movie” being a nice cover; in some ways, he gives us what I believe are hints of his covert life, and it’s with Gaga’s turn as Ally that we really see him shine beyond the shtick of his character, country-rocker Jackson Maine. In a tad corny-tad, gripping way that takes hold the moment you see Gaga, let’s be frank and real, this film goes on to detail a Diet Coke version of the grim realities that often detail too many a tale of celebrity in Hollywood. Without revealing too many details of the film’s plot and denouement, we are looking at a necessary conversation about alcoholism, drug addiction and fame (plus a lack of ’NO’ men/women in many relationships) that needs to addressed for all ages. Well done, Mr. Cooper Goes to the Oscars. (At select screens, On Demand & DVD)

7. El Angel Incidentally, this may be the first time in a rather long time that I say something good about Argentinian men, so do take note. Telling the true story of fresh-faced boy killer Carlos Robledo Puch, played to Oscar-worthy perfection by newcomer Lorenzo Ferro, the masterful detail to which director Luis Ortega has crafted this arthouse meets dramedy-thriller is astounding and easily touches heights set by dePalma and even, dare I say it, Scorcese. We follow young Carlitos Puch, who is just nearing the edge of seventeen, as takes up with a rough and tough family of his devilishly attractive school chum Ramon, played by the spirited Chino Darin, son of Ricardo Darin. But as Carlitos comes to find out, his street crimes can easily be paved to real ones and his sadistic tendencies suddenly yet gradually paint a picture of someone who is in part desperate for attention and tacceptance and in part a fairly smart, well-to-do young adult. He parlays his sociopathy at pubescence into psychopathy with time, and this film will likely be, but should definitely not be, forgotten come awards and Best Of lists time.(available On Demand and DVD)

6. Black Panther As Oscar season comes to a head, it is worth talking about one of the most striking films that you’ll see for a while. Black Panther is that good, not only because of its genre but also because of its message: that seeking freedom through recreating systems of oppression will only extend the ill-treatment and broken nature we find ourselves in nowadays. Set in the fictional African nation of Wakanda, protagonist King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) brings us the first real black superhero from the Marvel universe. With a cast including Lupita Nyong’o, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker and Michael B Jordan, the acting is beyond impressive. What is even more amazing, however, is how the plot power-plays many elements of our world’s current political climate. (now available On Demand and DVD)

5. Chappaquiddick Another film which is nothing short of striking in its relevance to the current political situation in the USA. Senator Ted Kennedy was the only remaining Kennedy that I was familiar with throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. Jason Clarke as the Massachusetts senator is astounding, as is the cut of his jib and chin, although the accent was a tad weak, to be ever sincere. This is a complete revelation on the many details that were only gingerly touched upon during the course of the week following the death which this movie is detailing . As the facts are laid out in the film, it astounds me that the American people continued to vote and elect Kennedy for decades after. This is a study on arrogance, class and governmental ambiguity. And if that was the case with liberals in the Sixties, how much more so with conservatives in this digital age? My favourite film of last year’s BCN Film Festival. (now available On Demand and DVD)

4. Private Life Good Lawd this is such a heartwarming/breaking story with the finest elements of believable comedy and situational realism that define the art of the classic Gen X film from the 90s to now. May we never forget that it was Gen, and even those a few years before them, who gave us the digiverse-Netflix-instant oatmeal www.orld in which we live today and when I see a very NYC film like this one, it makes it a true reality check. Being the age that one should be married with kids, I watched Kathryn Hahn as Rachel absolutely slay the silver screen and am eager to see if she picks up any more accolades throughout the current awards season. Simple plot…she’s in her early 40s and her hubby Rich (played by Paul Giamatti) is entering his late 40s and they are fully entrenched within the confines of every single way to conceive a baby. Following the couple through their trials and tribulations really get pushed up an ante when sort-of relative Sadie (the lovely Kayli Carter) decides she will be the surrogate mum for them as things get a tad pear-shaped. This could easily be dubbed a dreamed, for in effect, it is; what needs to be known is that this is also a morality tale for a new age. The old-fashioned ethics of yesteryear just do not apply anymore, at least not in big cities, and the less is more factor easily makes this one of the finest films released within the last year. (available on Netflix)

3. BlacKKKlansman Without a doubt, this is the finest work in all too many years by Spike Lee, and he takes no prisoners in letting you know that the spilled essence of blaxploitation all over this celluloid is to egg you into knowing that this story is 100% true…and crazy. The mere fact that David Duke is literally cheerleading for the current President of the United States should scare us all and wake those who are not. Watching actor John David Washington portray Ron Stallworth, the real-life cop who slyly infiltrated the inner workings of the Klu Klux Klan 40 years ago. After signing up for the Colorado Spring PD, he realises the lack of trust in the 98% Anglo-Saxon workforce, as he’s thrown into monitoring the goings-on of any Black Panther student situations. Eventually, he takes up with a guy on the force that he can dig called Flip and played to skilled excellence by the oddest of lookers Adam Driver. Basically, the plot follows the twosome, as they tag team the aforementioned white supremacist movement, Ron being the voice and Flip being the wingman as they start an investigation on grand wizard bastard himself David Duke, played to troubling perfection by Topher Grace, evoking all of the calmness and utter sociopathic tendencies of a man reviled by most yet revered by still too many. And watching this taut film and how it rolls through such a daunting story with comedic aplomb and vicious realness gives you goosebumps. That said, as the film gets toward its ending, is when Lee gives you the goods when he flashes to scenes from the crazy Charlottesville, Virginia, riots, AntiFa protesting and subsequent death of Heather Heyer, may she rest in peace. God Save the World…and Amerikkka.

2. Fahrenheit 11/9 Premiering a few weeks ago here in Spain at very select cinema screens across the country, this is the first documentary in some time by Michael Moore that could play across an international landscape and should be required viewing on any critic’s or person’s list. The titular oddity refers to the day after we all woke up across the world in shock and awe that Donald J Trump had won the Presidency of the USA. Even if this is not Morre’s best film to date, it is undoubtedly the one that holds the viewers’ feet to the fire and calls for them to fight the nasty funk of this administration. But, it’s when he takes it back to his roots, to Flint, Michigan, and ends up involving all local and state politics, that we start to see the more sinister undertakings happening amongst conservative parties, ideals and societies. When you add in the fact of the Parkland High School shooting and the way Moore later fuses footage of Hitler and his minions and followers with a rally speech made by the current occupant of the White House, it becomes all too obvious that things are exactly as we think they are (A HOT MESS!) and we have very little recourse rather than claiming truth. (now available On Demand and DVD)

1. ROMA There are tender moments of realism that are permitted to happen with the rise of instant cinema on VOD and direct-to-home films, and it has been a pleasure to see that sites like Netflix and Amazon and Canal+ have truly added to the foray in which great celluloid can be brought to the masses. Case in point comes the finest piece of dramatic celluloid that graced the silver screen in the last year. Being a Mexican whose father is a naturalised citizen of the US and a mother who is Chicana from the US, like myself and my siblings, the sentimentality ran deep with this film. One of the differences I experienced was the fact that we were the only Mexican-American family in a stately US country club…and we had an entire childhood spent with loving housekeepers, which is what this film inherently is honouring and depicting, using the backdrop of Alfonso Cuarón’s take on growing up in 70s-upper middle class Mexico City in the neighbourhood of Roma. Depicting the life of the house assistant Cleo (first-time performer Yalitza Aparicio in a J.Hud moment, frankly) and the family of Sr. Antonio (Fernando Grediaga), a doctor in the Mexican capital, what Cuarón has called his most personal film to date, is also a B&W modern tale in the vein of Gone with the Wind, and the fact that he centres around a privileged Mexican family is poignant for several reasons: it not only takes a focus away from how Donald bloody Trump has painted Mexicans, in general, to the world, but it also highlights a very human element to how many classes of society function and live there in the frontier regions of North America and, more importantly, EVERYWHERE…easily put, this is a sweet, oft-times simple, oft-times brutal story on humanity. What binds so many critics together on this film’s merits is that fact that Alfonso Cuarón has crafted the past year’s most enigmatic movie, leaving us to make our own answers to what happens to Lady Cleo, her best mate Teresa, and this beautiful family. Absolutely and quietly stunning! (available on Netflix and selects screens across the country)

#abitterlifethroughcinema #BCNinEnglish #englishradiobcn #overlord #theballadofbusterscruggs #eighth grade #elangel #a star is born #blackpanther #chappaquiddick #privatelife #Blackkklansman #fahrenheit119 #roma film #LucasAvramCavazos

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