#highlighting the fact I need to do some lighting studies

[drunkcleric-art]

Nobody wishes I had any sort of joke of context for this than me

It made me laugh, so take it

Peitha unlocked new vari lore that each one is a secret lamp you just gotta find out how

[silvergyus]

hii!! hope ur doing great!!

i was going to ask for some fluffy hueningkai smut for the valentines day event :)) i need more fics about him being infatuated w chubby women?

lessons in chemistry

pairing: hueningkai x fem!reader

summary: kai has been harboring a not-so-secret crush on his study buddy all year. what will happen when he gets an unexpected text asking if you can stay the night?

warnings: college au, friends to lovers, only one bed trope, reader is a few years older than kai ("noona" is not used), kai is a lil pervy, chubby!reader, reader's pubes are mentioned exactly once, experienced!reader, a teeeeny bit of dubcon (just over the clothes teasing), fingering (y/n receiving), protected sex

word count: 5,200+

author’s note: requested as part of my valentine's event 🏹💘 tysm for requesting!! I got a lil obsessed with this one and I really hope you like it!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊

Kai had been infatuated with you since the start of last semester. The two of you sat near one another for a large science lecture. It was a gen-ed filler class for the both of you that you were just trying to get out of the way. Kai was a first year music major and you had just switched majors from fine arts to liberal arts and suddenly found yourself in need of a few more required science credits.

He fell in love with you the first moment he saw you, sitting down a row ahead of him in the dim lecture hall, the low light illuminating your features. Twice a week for three weeks he admired you fondly from his unofficial assigned seat. His notes were often lacking- sentences missing from the slides that he forgot to copy down while lost in the thought of you instead. You were the highlight of the dull class for him. He’d never forget the way his heart almost leaped out of his chest when you finally turned around to smile at him. Your smile was warm and inviting as you asked him to be your partner for an assignment. He’d never been particularly suave, but the stumbling, stuttered “yes, of course” he replied with was enough to make him want to curl up in a ball. But you just giggled, your laugh like music, accepting it in stride.

From that day on he was your study buddy, never missing a library date. The two of you worked on assignments together, studied for exams and shared snacks late into the night.

You grew close over the course of the semester, inside jokes blossoming between the two of you. You were older, more organized than he was. You knew your way around campus and the city and you were eager to offer your advice. You laughed at his jokes and loved to hear the recordings he made of his guitar and piano playing. As friendship grew between the two of you, so did his feelings for you.

Anxiety swirled in his head as winter finals approached, unsure of whether or not you’d be in the same lab section as him in the spring. He worried that if you weren’t, he’d lose his chance to talk to you. When you told him your schedule- classes aligning perfectly with his- he almost hugged you then. Relief flooded his chest, thankful for the chance to see you twice a week for an additional four months.

His friends had caught on to the fact that he was crushing on someone; they saw the way his eyes lit up when certain notifications flashed on his screen. They had been nudging him to invite you to study at the dorm, even promised to clean it so he wouldn’t be embarrassed to bring you by. But you lived off campus in your own apartment. Why would you ever want to hang out in his shared dormitory? No, he’d just keep doing what he was doing: being your cute and reliable study buddy.

----

You knew Kai had a crush on you.

It was obvious in the way he texted you back immediately, even when you knew he’d swipe away notifications for the rest of his friends. Obvious in the way he shifted in his seat if you leaned over his shoulder to look at his notes. Obvious in the way he practically vibrated out of the chair the first time you decided to sit next to him in the lecture hall instead of a row ahead. He always brought your favorite snacks and packed your favorite drinks when you met up for study sessions. You couldn’t remember telling him what your favorites were either, he just paid attention like that.

You didn’t mind, in fact, you liked having the cute boy’s attention. Kai was tall and broad and dorky and shy, but you had gotten him to open up to you, bloom like a flower into sharing his silly and passionate self. Kai was a good friend and a bit of an ego boost as well. Here was this tall boy with sharp cheekbones who cared about your thoughts and opinions. So, so what if you caught him staring down your shirt when he was supposed to be copying your notes? It's not like you hadn't stared at his ass in his jeans more than a few times.

And truth be told, you really did need him as a study buddy.

----

The cool of winter was slipping away to spring, first flowers peaking their heads out of the damp earth. Kai was losing his mind.

His friends had figured out more about you and the extent of his devastating crush and were making bets on how he would fumble you. Beomgyu had struck a particularly sensitive nerve with the simplicity of his bet: that Kai would just never get the nerve to ask you out for more than a library study session. It was stupid and it wouldn’t normally piss him off, but he was scared that they were right. He didn’t want to miss his chance with you.

You had become really important to him over the course of the school year and he couldn’t stand the thought of you just being a class friend, someone he lost after finals ended. He already experienced that anxiety when he worried about your spring schedule, but had lucked out despite his inaction. He wasn’t sure what he’d do now that the end of the school year was approaching.

----

The soft patter of rain filled the spaces in between notes as Kai worked on his piano final composition. He knew how the piece started, and how it ended, but he struggled to find the perfect rhythm to pull it together. He had been locked in his room for hours, long fingers dancing over the keys again and again, trying out new arrangements and then scrapping them when they weren’t right.

Nothing was right. Dejected, he pushed his chair away from his keyboard, pulling off his headphones and huffing as he reached for his phone, needing a distraction. He frowned when he saw two missed calls from you and a string of worried texts.

Hey soooo….

I left my bag in my ta’s office and I they won’t answer any of my emails and I don’t have their number

and my keys were in my bag….

and now I can’t get in my apartment 😅

and all my other friends are out of town..

can I please stay with you?

Kai called you immediately. You picked up on the second ring.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” He asked worriedly.

“Kai! Oh my gosh you called me back! Thank you so much, I wasn’t sure-”

“You can stay here.” He said quickly.

“You mean it?”

“Yes.” He was organizing his room as you spoke, throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and wrapping up charging cables. “Do you know which building I’m in?”

“I think so. I’m actually not too far away.”

Kai could hear the rain as you spoke, muffling your voice. “Oh gosh, do you have an umbrella?”

You laughed sarcastically. “Haha, no, but I’ll be there in ten minutes. Can you come down to let me in?”

“Yes, yes I’ll be there. Do you need me to stay on the phone?”

“No, uh, it’s actually getting kinda really wet. I’ll just meet you in the lobby.”

“Okay, stay safe. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

You hung up and Kai immediately ran to his roommates to fill them in.

----

You were soaked head to toe when you walked into the small lobby of Kai's dorm building. He was nervously shifting his weight between his feet as he waited for you to arrive. His voice was laced with worry when he ran over to you, asking how you were doing the second you walked through the double doors. His worry was cute. You liked how much he cared.

“I’m okay, just cold.”

The elevator ride up to the dorm Kai shared with Taehyun and Beomgyu was filled with a charged silence, broken only by the patter of droplets falling from your clothes onto the floor. You hadn’t met either of his roommates yet, but you’d heard stories. You weren’t sure if you’d meet either of them tonight either, but all you really wanted to do was change out of your soaked clothes and go to bed.

Kai apologized for things being messy before opening the door, but he had no need. The small shared space was cleaner than expected for three college-aged boys. Each had their own room and then a shared kitchen and bathroom. You followed Kai to his narrow bedroom.

His standard-issue twin xl was filled with plushies, a grey bunny which was clearly the oldest and most well-loved sat in a place of honor in the very front. It made you smile, this display of softness. Beside the bed was his desk and keyboard just beyond that. The space was cozy with the low light of a singular bedside lamp.

You turned around to face the room’s owner where he stood in the doorway, suddenly awkward in his own space. “Cute room. I like your plushies.”

Red blush immediately tinged his ears. His eyes fell to the floor as he awkwardly laughed. “Haha, yeah um, I can move those.”

“You don’t have to.” The silence between you was still charged from the elevator, but you could barely focus on it with the way the cold rain had settled into your bones. “Um, is it okay if I take a shower? I’m freezing.”

“Oh! Uh, yeah- of course! I have an extra towel. Do you need clothes?” He began to rifle through his drawers. “I think mine will fit you. What do you want?” He was cute the way he looked over at you as if picturing each item in the drawers on your body.

----

Kai sat on his bed anxiously bouncing his leg as he waited for you to finish in the bathroom. He was trying his best to suppress the thought of you in the shower, water falling over your curves. He shook his head, trying and failing to shake out the thought of the river of soapy bubbles running between your breasts, trailing down over your plush tummy. But even if he shook that thought, there was still the fact that you would exit the shower and put on his clothes and then get in his bed. His head was spinning with possibilities.

His leg was bouncing fast enough for it to start to cramp by the time you walked into his room. His ears burned as he took you in. His dark pullover clung to your figure, settling at your hips. You smiled at him before turning to hang your towel on the back of his door. Oh no, he thought. He had fished an old pair of basketball shorts out of his drawer for you to sleep in since your clothes were hung precariously in the bathroom in an attempt to dry them. The fabric was stretched tight around your hips and ass, leaving little to his imagination. He stifled a groan at the sight when his hoodie rode up to show the dimples on your back as you reached up to throw the damp towel over the hook.

You looked so good in his clothes it made his head spin. He wanted to see you in his clothes all the time, wanted you to show everyone you were his. Wanted you to be his for real.

He was sure he looked like a wreck when you turned around, cocking your head to ask what he was thinking. “I um, did you- did you eat?”

“Yeah, I ate dinner before I saw my TA.” You sat down beside him on the bed. He could feel the warmth radiating off your skin from your hot shower. “Actually, um, I know it’s kind of early, but this whole thing has been really stressful and I’m just really tired.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. I’m sorry this happened to you.” He practically vibrated when you rested your head against his shoulder, not even caring if his shirt got wet.

“Not your fault.” Your voice was soft. “Thank you for letting me crash. I can’t tell you how much it means.”

“It’s no problem. I’d do anything if you asked.” Kai wasn’t sure how much he wanted you to read into that sentence.

----

The two of you talked for a bit before a big yawn prompted Kai to ask you about sleeping. He insisted that he’d sleep on the floor for you to take his bed. You argued back that you could take the floor since it was his room and just one night wouldn’t hurt you but he wouldn’t budge. You finally conceded and found yourself tucked under his covers next to his army of plushies.

The room was dark except for the dim glow of campus peeking through the blinds and the multicolor lights of his pc that lit the space with a shifting neon hue. You rolled over to peak over the edge. Kai was laying on the floor face up, hands over his chest. He was wide awake and his eyes immediately found yours. “Hey,” he whispered, “you should be sleeping.”

You couldn’t stand the fact that he was sleeping on the hard floor, shitty dorm carpet against his back and a throw blanket the only thing to keep him warm. This was his room after all. And beyond the injustice of kicking him out onto the cool floor, you didn’t want to let the opportunity to be wrapped up in his strong arms pass you by. “Can you please come up here?” You could see his eyes widen and before he had the chance to argue you used the line he couldn’t refuse. “I’m still really cold.”

He sputtered cutely, looking for words. “Are you sure?”

You kept your voice quiet as you pleaded; “Please Kai.”

He didn’t say anything as he stood up and climbed into the small bed. You moved to the far edge of the mattress, positioning yourself against the wall. You wondered how he slept comfortably here each night, his large frame filled up most of the narrow space, and you doubted that his feet weren’t hanging off the edge. With your body taking up space too, there was no way for the two of you to not touch.

Kai was shy with his actions, reverting back to the unsure boy you met at the beginning of the school year. “Um, uh- is this okay?” He asked as he gingerly settled his arm across your waist.

“Yes, perfect.” You backed up to snuggle into his broad chest. Heat radiated off of him, warming you instantly. “Mmmm, you’re so warm.”

----

Your body fit against Kai's like his matching puzzle piece. His arm slotted perfectly in the space between your tummy and chest. He felt like he was made to hold you just like this. This moment was perfect, everything he could've asked for after pining after you for months. He could breathe in the scent of your skin and hair, still slightly damp from the rain and shower. Here you were, in his clothes, in his bed, in his arms. He was on cloud nine. Everything was perfect.

Except for the fact that you kept wriggling your hips against him.

You had to be doing it on purpose. As far as he could tell you were sleeping, but the subtle movements of your ass against his front were driving him crazy. He had backed his hips up as far as he could given the narrow twin bed, but yours had followed. He prayed that you were asleep and wouldn't notice his half-hard dick pressed up against you.

He thought he was in the clear, your hips had slowed and he thought he'd make it through the night without embarrassing himself. He could do this- sleep with you in his arms then get up and jerk off in the morning before you woke up and it would be like nothing happened, like he wasn't cuddled up next to you thinking about how his hand was so, so close to your chest and your ass was so warm against him. He'd savor this moment for what it was and then make his move later. But then you spoke.

“Kai,” your whisper pierced through his thoughts like a hot knife, “are you hard for me?”

His mind blanked. Fuck, he was really in it now.

“It's okay if you are.” Your hand found his, drawing gentle circles on his palm. You continued playing with his fingers as the silence stretched, charged and electric between you. Kai didn't breathe, hanging on for what would happen next. “You know, I've seen the way you look at me.” You wiggled your hips again, slow and deliberate. “Saw the way you blushed when I came in here with your clothes on.”

It felt like Kai was on fire. His body blushed and he could feel the blood rushing to his cock. He felt guilty, caught in the act. “I know you have a crush on me Kai.”

He wanted to protest, began to speak a strangled “I-” but you cut him off.

“I have a little crush on you too.”

Your words knocked the air out of Kai's lungs. His head spun. You were in his bed, in his clothes, holding his hand, pressing your ass against his dick on purpose and you liked him back. He felt like he was short circuiting.

He could hear the smile in your voice when you whispered again. “You can touch me if you want.”

----

The silence stretched between you longer than you expected. Part of you worried that you had misread everything, that you had crossed a line. But after what felt like eons Kai's hand finally moved.

His fingers twitched in your grasp, fingers splaying out and holding onto your tummy over the sweatshirt. You were silent as he began to slowly move down, curiously slipping under the thick hem. You drew in a breath quickly when his fingers brushed against your skin. His fingers were slightly calloused from playing guitar, the rough pads of his fingers leaving goosebumps where they explored over your tummy.

“Tell me to stop.” His voice was low in your ear as his hand moved closer to your chest.

You stayed quiet; he ran a finger over the underside of your breast. His movements were slow, cautiously exploring your flesh. He finally reached up to cup your breast, his big hand igniting your nerves where he touched. For a moment he just held you like that, as if he was committing the feel to memory. His first squeeze was more for him than for you, but it felt damn good nonetheless. You let out a soft sigh, relishing in the feeling. He squeezed again, spurred on by your encouragement.

“What do you like?” He asked. You whispered back how you liked to be touched and he complied, rubbing and pinching at your nipples while you sighed again. You could feel him fully hard in his sweatpants behind you, the heat of his length and the teasing of your chest making you grow wet in his shorts.

“Kai,” you whined, growing impatient with his touches, wanting more. You ground your hips back against him. You could feel his cock through your shorts and it was making you desperate.

Kai stifled a groan from behind you at your neediness. His hand cautiously moved down from your breasts, pausing to squeeze the plush of your tummy as it ventured down. His fingers paused, dipping just under your waistband to gently stroke your skin there.

----

Kai gasped when he realized you weren't wearing any panties. Of course, he thought. You must've left them to dry with the rest of your clothes. He was hard before, but discovering that you were whiny and needy in his shorts without panties on made him grow impossibly harder.

He reached down, through the soft tuft of hair to find your pussy. You moaned when his fingers finally found your clit. He liked that sound, wanted to hear it again. You spread your legs a little, granting him better access to your body. He dipped his fingers through your soft folds, finding you wet for him. He couldn't help but moan as he explored your heat, coating his fingers in your wetness.

You let out a series of quiet gasps and whines as he teased you, rubbing small circles on your clit and through your folds. He found your entrance after a moment but was nervous to slip his fingers inside. Your impatient hips bucked at his hand and broke his questioning thoughts. He slowly sunk one of his slender fingers into your wet heat. You buried your face in his pillow to stifle your cry when he did. Your noises were like music to his ears and he slowly pumped the finger in and out, relishing the feeling of your walls sucking him in.

“More,” you gasped quietly, “please.”

He obliged, adding a second finger. You were keening now, rocking your hips to meet his hand as it pumped into you. The cheap bedframe squeaked softly with your movements but Kai didn't think it was anything loud enough for his roommates to hear.

You whined when he curled his fingers, throwing your head back onto his shoulder. “Kai, Kai,” you babbled, desperation dripping from your voice. You were so wet beneath his hand. “Wanna kiss you. Need to kiss you before you make me cum.”

He laughed at that. “What do you mean?” He slowed his movements when you gripped his forearm, but kept his fingers buried in your pussy.

“You're gonna make me cum, but,” your voice was shy as you continued, “I really wanna kiss you. I haven't even kissed you yet.”

Kai felt himself blush at your words. Gosh you were sweet. He smiled and kissed your cheek where he could reach from this position before removing his hand from your shorts.

You were quick to shuffle so you straddled his lap. Your clothed heat rested on his erection, which was almost painfully hard. He could just make out your features in the low light. You were so pretty, smiling down at him. He wanted to kiss you so bad. So when you leaned forward he sat up to meet you.

Your lips were soft against his, the first kiss relatively chaste as you pulled away to admire him. He basked in your gaze, loving the way you looked at him with such affection. When you kissed him again it was deeper.

----

Kai had perfect lips for kissing. He opened up to you like a flower on the second kiss. You traced his bottom lip with your tongue before he parted his lips slightly, granting you access to taste him. He moaned quietly into the kiss, hands settling around you. He brought you closer with the hand on the back of your head and gripped tightly at your ass with the hand that had been playing with your pussy just moments ago.

You shifted in his lap as his tongue explored your mouth. The change in pressure caused him to groan loudly into the quiet of his room. He broke the kiss but stayed close, whispering your name against your lips. “Please, I'm so sensitive right now.” His voice was deep and rough, held back from a full plead.

You smiled and kissed him again. “I've been teasing you for a long time haven't I?” You said, half pouting. You placed your lips right against the shell of his ear as you whispered- “you can fuck me if you want.”

His whine was stifled in his throat but you still caught it. You could feel his cock twitch beneath you at your words. Gosh, he was big. You could properly feel him now that you were straddling him. You didn't want to cum without having kissed him, but his teasing had left you needy and aching for him to fill you up again.

“Please,” was all he said before you nodded, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

“Wanna see you. Can I take this off?” He was happy to oblige, nodding before lifting his arms to let you undress him. You pulled his sweatshirt off you, letting him take in the sight of you in the dim light. The two of you sat like that for a moment, admiring each other. His hand reached out to trace over your skin once again, taking in your form in the low light. You did the same, running your fingers over his broad chest and wide shoulders. His hands continued to love on your tummy, more than anyone had done in the past. You found it cute, like most things about him, and appreciated that he seemed to enjoy a part of you you'd often been told to conceal.

Soon enough his hands found the hem of your- his- shorts again. You had to get off his lap to slide them off of you, your wetness clinging to the material as you did. Kai shucked off his bottoms as you did yours and you settled onto his lap again, the both of you fully naked in one another's embrace.

You could feel Kai's heartbeat racing under the hand you held to his chest. “Are you excited?” You teased.

“Y/n,” he started, “I really like you. I've liked you for a long time now. Since I first met you, I've liked you.”

You squeezed his hand, wanting to reassure him that you felt the same. “I really like you too, Kai. For a while now too.” He kissed you again. The kiss was charged with emotion, he poured his feelings into it and you reciprocated.

When the kiss broke you were both breathing hard. “You have a condom, right?” He nodded quickly, reaching to throw open the top drawer of his bedside table. Inside was a full box of unopened foils.

Sliding the condom onto Kai's length made your pussy clench around nothing. He was so big and heavy in your hand. He gasped like it hurt when you first held his cock, his angry tip a leaking mess of precum. He watched you with huge eyes as you rolled it on.

You spit onto your hand, slicking him up through the thin barrier. He couldn't stop the whine that he emitted as you stroked him.

When you finally hovered over his lap again you felt dizzy with anticipation. Kai's fingers had been long and stuffed you full, but his cock was surely going to fill you to the brim. You lined him up at your entrance and began to sink down.

His mouth fell slack when his fat tip pushed past your tight entrance. You took him inch by inch, fighting the urge to just sit on it, forcing yourself to take it slow and adjust. It felt like he was splitting you open. He was bigger than anyone you'd had before. Long and thick, he hit every spot inside of you as you finally rested on his hips, taking him to the hilt. You had to catch your breath.

----

Kai’s eyes were squeezed tight, his breaths heavy. The feeling of being inside of you better than he had imagined. You were so warm, your wet walls holding him so tight even through the latex barrier.

“Kai,” you whispered, rubbing his arm to bring him back to you. “Is this still okay?”

He opened his eyes and nodded. “Yes, yes. Just need a sec.” He was trying his hardest not to cum right there. But you were so beautiful in the shifting hues coming from his pc, the dim light illuminating your features. The moonlight from the crack in the blinds shone on your lashes as you watched him carefully.

“Okay,” he finally said, feeling like he wasn’t about to immediately cum at the slightest sensation. “I’m ready.”

You hummed and kissed him again before leaning back and slowly rolling your hips. His hands flew to your thighs, gripping them tightly as he tried to keep from moaning loudly and alerting his roommates to what was happening. You smiled down at him, speeding up a bit.

He was mesmerized by the way you looked as you rode him. He must’ve looked like a dumbstruck fool the way you giggled at his expression. “You like what you see?”

“Very much. You’re so beautiful.” Your face split into a huge smile and you kissed him again.

“I think you’re pretty beautiful too.” Kai felt himself blush at your words, not used to praise like this.

He wasn’t going to last very long, not with your sweet words and the slow drag of your walls around his cock. He moved his hands from where they rested, exploring the curves of your body, committing them to memory. He’d always had a thing for soft tummies, but your thick thighs, full breasts and even the soft creases of your back all delighted him. His touches spurred you on, your increased enthusiasm pushing him closer to the edge.

“Gonna cum.” He whined.

“Touch me here,” you guided his hand to your clit. “We’ll cum together.”

He fought through the building pressure, gathering your wetness to coat his thumb. A sigh escaped your lips when he rubbed your clit. He easily matched the pace you set with your hip, musician’s muscle memory kicking in.

“I’m so close,” his voice was strained, “gonna-”

His orgasm hit him hard. His hands squeezed hard at your hips as you rode him through his high, chasing after yours. The sounds you made when you came were music, a falling set of whimpers and stutters that washed over Kai like a wave. You slumped into Kai’s chest, aftershocks still causing your pussy to flutter and clench around him. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you in a sweet embrace as you both came down from your highs.

----

You hummed contentedly into the space between Kai’s shoulder and throat. He was warm and strong and all around you. You felt safe and cozy in his arms and completely blissed out from his cock. You knew you needed to clean up but you wanted to savor this moment for as long as you could.

“Hey, y/n,” Kai’s voice was a soft whisper above you. You hummed again in acknowledgement. “Do you think maybe we could go on a date sometime?”

You laughed, burying your face into his chest. Gosh, this boy. You propped yourself up onto your elbow, taking in the beauty of Kai’s features as he looked at you expectantly. “I would love that.” His smile was immediate. “And by the way, you could have asked me at any point in the year and I would’ve said yes.”

You couldn’t quite make out the blush that spread across his cheeks in the low light, but you kissed him again to let him know you meant it. You settled back onto his chest and he placed a soft kiss to the top of your head. “I’m kind of glad I left my bag in that office now.”

You could feel Kai’s laugh through his chest. “I am too.”

author’s note: this is a work of fiction not meant to accurately represent the idol. please do not repost.

taglist: @theresawtf

[florsial]

@bartylusmicrofic - Wish Also he/they and trans Regulus!

Caught up in the flow of studying, the common room opening didn’t register in Barty’s head until the sound of jewelry was being set on the table. 

Throwing himself away from the numerous notes and open books, he sees his boyfriend scowling, his brows pressed together, and his lips being bitten raw. Judging from the formal outfit, Barty could guess that Slughorn’s party didn’t go too well for his boyfriend. The heated look in his eyes was evident enough and Barty suddenly wished he had attended with Regulus.

“Still planning on attending the next one?” He asked as he closed his notebook and looked up at Regulus, accepting the fact that he probably wouldn’t be studying for the rest of the night. 

Twisting another bracelet off his wrist, Regulus replied, “I don’t know, I’ll see after I’ve cooled off.”

“You could skip the next one.”

“The meetings are good for my future,” Regulus makes a face at his own words, “I think.”

“Uh huh,” Barty hums, standing up from his seat. He doesn’t really believe that, after all, Regulus is as smart and talented as he is, and no, Barty isn’t being biased, it’s true. He’s been trying to top Regulus in their History of Magic class, but his boyfriend always manages to keep a firm grasp on the position of being the top of the class. Barty would be proud if he hadn’t been trying to beat Regulus for years, even before they had started dating.

And that is just the tip of his boyfriend’s intelligence.

He is broken from his thoughts when Regulus asks, “I need to get out of all this, can you help me?”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, “let’s go.”

Truthfully speaking, Barty doesn’t understand why Regulus insists on wearing the traditional pure-blood clothing, he is pretty sure some students have turned up in less than formal wear. Also, Regulus complains often about how scratchy and tight everything is and the hair-dos. Always braided and pinned with pins that give Regulus a headache. He ought to convince his lover to tone down for the Slughorn’s parties.

When they get to their dorm, Evan is still not asleep, unsurprisingly. A single light emits from his wand, highlighting his wide eyes and unsettling expression as he reads the book of myths he always reads. He doesn’t spare them a glance as they make their way to the bathroom, but he does nod subtly without looking up.

“Hi, Ev,” Regulus greets casually as he passes by, snagging his silk pajamas from his bed.

When the bathroom door closes, Barty locks it as Regulus undoes the buttons and straps of his outfit. He leans against the door as he watches carefully and with adoration as his lover curses under their breath at the overly complex parts of their dress before fully stripping themselves from it, leaving Regulus only in the long undershirt and corset he stubbornly refuses to take off lest he becomes a hunchback like their mother fears. 

Barty tries not to make fun of him too much for that.

He walks over and takes a moment to admire the freckles sprinkled all over and a slight blush brushed over their collarbones and shoulders. As hands rest on their waist, Regulus turns around.

“Loosen the back, would you?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

In the beginning, Barty was only ever vaguely familiar with the mechanics of a corset. He remembers his mother wearing it for some time before she started getting more ill and he’s never taken an interest in wearing one, unlike his father, they were too constricting for his liking. 

It wasn’t until he and Regulus grew closer did he learned to tighten or loosen the strings for there was nothing more intimate than hearing the way Regulus’ breath evens out with every string undone by Barty. Most, if not all the time, it would only ever be just the two of them in the bathroom, late in the night. After that, Barty would press soft kisses with his hands under Regulus’ long shirt carefully running over the smooth skin. They would stay like that for an undetermined amount of time before brushing their teeth and heading to bed, and this time, it was no different.

“I’ll go with you next time,” Barty said softly, trawling the string around his finger, “I promise.”

“You don’t have to,” Regulus replies, “you’re busy, and it’s not like Slughorn is your biggest fan either.”

“Even more reasons to,” Barty grins, “and what type of boyfriend would I be if I’m not there to defend your honor? There are too many snobby and entitled members, I have to scare them off.” 

“As if anyone is good enough for Blacks,” Regulus scoffs, the air of arrogance from birth prevalent around him.

“Lucius?”

“Narcissa wanted him, not the other way around.”

“How about me?”

“You know exactly why,” is Regulus’ settled reply after a couple seconds of silence.

“Tell me again,” Barty leans down and presses his lips to their shoulder, “I want to hear it again.” He mumbles against the freckled skin. He’s loosened the corset but Regulus has not yet taken off the garment, leaving him free to toy with the strings, twirling them around his finger in a comforting motion. 

His lover tells him. The same words again and again. The same words that Barty will never tire of. The same words that increase the hole in his heart that craves for more of what Regulus gives in love.

[stvrdrops]

soul ties ☆ | shuri x fem!reader

love at first sight was something everyone believed in. for wakandans, it was something entirely different. it was the belief that bast had created lines to connect each human to their perfect fit. shuri believed that you were the end of that line for her.

warnings : some fighting mentioned, mature themes, and cursing.

word count : 6.2k+

note : i would play the song right when the word "she" is highlighted. :) also this is the largest fic i've ever written so yayyy

song : un-thinkable (i'm ready) by alicia keys ft. drake

"shuri?" a voice peeks through shuri's daydreaming. when the princess looks slightly down to her left she sees riri speaking to her.

"are you even paying attention to the tour?"

"yes, of course i am." shuri says in a tone that sounds almost as if she were offended that riri would even ask such a question. even though she did in fact have her attention elsewhere.

"don't front. what do you see that's so important?"

riri follows shuri's eyesight across the quad, until it lands on you. her face lights up and her eyes widen.

of course. she thinks as she watches you in a world entirely of your own. your airpod maxes had been on and you were stuck in a studying session. your braided hair was tied back into a long ponytail, keeping the strands from falling in your face. riri could see even from afar that you were wearing very little makeup. your natural face was the one she preferred, and it was one shuri quickly grew attached to. you were in spandex shorts and a red hoodie that proudly repped MIT in white lettering.

"no."

shuri looks back over to riri, "what?"

"i said no. you're not going to get anywhere with her. no one has. not even i could crack that code." riri mumbles out, clearly butthurt.

"so, i'm hearing that you two know each other."

riri rolls her eyes, "yeah, we're friends. i tutored her last year."

"will you introduce me?"

"no."

"the dean said meeting fellow students would be a good idea. y'know, so i can be more accustomed."

"the dean ain't here though, is she?"

"oh don't be like that."

riri grumbles. she assumes that it can't hurt to introduce the two of you. it's not like any of the other generational wealth kids impressed you. however, a princess with panther powers just might do the trick.

"fine. you get five minutes."

shuri smiles and begins making her way towards you. with every step she noticed how much more beautiful you got. she also happened to notice how her heart would be tugged on, as if being pulled along on a string by you. you reminded her of the beauty she found in wakanda. with your rich skin and dark brown eyes, she couldn't help but notice you.

shadows of figures fall over your textbooks as you were reading over a line about quantum physics. annoyance began to bubble up, considering you had to have all of this material memorized by tomorrow afternoon for a test.

your eyes raise to meet the people causing the shadows, ready to ask them exactly what it was that they needed. that is, until you see riri, and a face you've only ever known in the news. your hands quickly find their way to your headphones, slipping them around your neck.

"hey y/n." riri says so casually that it shocks you. did she not know who was standing right beside her?

"uh, hey riri."

riri does her silly smile that she does every time you say her name. you knew she was utterly smitten with you, but you also knew that your friendship to her mattered more than anything.

"hi y/n." shuri says with a sultry wakandan accent. riri knew that wasn't how she usually talked, all sexy like that. a swift elbow was placed into shuri's side. due to her panther powers she could barely feel it.

"are you who i think you are?" you can't help but ask, struggling to pick your jaw up from the floor. shuri was someone you would say you looked up to. politics was something you were extremely interested in and watching her on tv speak about wakanda inspired you deeply. you wished so badly to visit wakanda since they opened up their borders, but their policy on foreigners remained the same. they were not to enter unless absolutely necessary. riri was only granted access because of her and shuri's close friendship, that riri never thought to mention until now.

she laughs, which makes your eyes light up. riri notices and figures it's just because you're starstruck. that's what you assume too, but it doesn't feel like that.

"yeah, this is the princess of wakanda, shuri." riri says as she rolls her dark brown eyes, "enough about her though," she slides next to you on the bench. "what are you studying?"

"i'm trying to study quantum physics right now. which is proving to be practically impossible." you say with a heavy sigh. at this rate you were doomed.

"oh, that's real easy baby. i can help you with it later tonight if you want." riri says as her eyes rake over the material in the book.

"very funny riri."

"no, i'm serious. i'm holding a little study session later for shuri to meet some friends. i know you don't hang out with my crew all like that but you're welcome to join."

the invite is enticing.

"i happen to know a decent amount of quantum physics myself." shuri says with a charming smile, "i can help you if you need it."

now the invite seems even more enticing.

"i mean, i guess. as long as we actually study. last time you had a 'study session' we all ended up high."

riri puts her arm around your shoulder, "yeah, but you passed that test the next morning, didn't you?"

a smile can't help but make its way across your face, "yeah, that's true."

"mhm, i thought so."

"shouldn't you be off giving the princess a tour?"

"shuri." the wakandan says.

"hm?" you ask, your eyes torn away from riri.

"you can just call me shuri." she says, "no need for formalities."

"oh, okay. shuri." you say, testing how her name sounds against your tongue. it feels natural and comfortable. shuri would be lying if she said her heart didn't flutter.

riri's eyes shift back and forth as they watch you and shuri.

"ookayyy. yeah, it's time for us to go shuri." riri speaks as she gets up from her spot next to you. she walks back over to shuri, who is still gazing at you. "see you later y/n."

"bye girls." you say as you watch them walk away. riri is saying something to shuri with a weird look on her face, but you can't tell what it is. you're just surprised you kept your cool in shuri's company.

then almost as if by clockwork, your phone begins to ring. you stare at the name on the screen and a sigh leaves you. of course he's calling.

"y/n is here!" riri shouts to the rest of the guests in the room. the couch had been filled with the couple guests riri had waiting in her living room. you thought this was going to be a small gathering, which granted it was. six people, including yourself, wasn't even all that bad. you just felt like you weren't going to actually study tonight after seeing them all. also, you were the only one with a school book in your hand. you weren't surprised to see a few people you knew, with the exception of one girl who had been in the kitchen with shuri.

you set the book onto the table as you take a seat on a beanbag. you notice the girl you're unfamiliar with is hanging onto shuri in the kitchen, keeping her preoccupied with conversation. however, when she feels a gaze lingering on her she's not shocked to see that it's yours. despite how fast you looked away, she knew you were staring.

"you want a hit?" a girl you recognize as karly says before extending her arm out to you. you can't help but look at riri, who just shrugs at you.

"sure." it can't hurt to relax if everyone else was. besides, this might be exactly what you needed. if you took a break from studying maybe you'd do better on the test type deal.

you take a hit of the blunt, making sure to show off how much experience you have with one. it felt good as it scratched the back of your throat. it took you some time to get used to the feeling. now you could successfully take in large amounts without coughing your guts out.

"we got a pro over there." riri says with a smirk on her face. she moves closer to you and sits on the floor. you pass her the blunt and she takes a hit equivalent to yours.

"with the amount of times you persuade me to smoke with you i should be a pro by now."

she laughs at your remark and passes the blunt onto someone else.

shuri makes her way into the room after watching the conversation for a while. you could tell from her eyes that she had already had the blunt a couple times. you wondered how she looked as she smoked. she takes a spot on a chair opposite of the beanbag.

"ri, so you ain't gonna update us on you and justice? i saw you sneak back into the apartments with her. it's almost like you forget that just because you stay in the bougie ass campus apartments means we can't spy on you."

"she not important."

"mhm, not like how y/n is."

riri narrows her eyes at her friends.

you laugh though, the weed taking your edge off. "i don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."

the whole room's eyes are now on you. your smile slowly dissipates from your face and your eyes go wide when you realize what you've said.

"boyfriend? since when the fuck do you have a boyfriend?" riri asks, a bit hurt that you never bothered to tell her this information.

"since my senior year of high school. he goes to a different school out of state." you say this so matter of factly. you weren't lying, you did have a boyfriend. he did also attend an out of state school. he was studying computer engineering. he was pissed when he didn't get into MIT and you did. he viewed it as an insult to his intelligence. that should've been one of your first of many red flags. you two talked at max five times a day. any more than that would just be a headache. two busy schedules don't mix well, especially when sometimes you're filling up your schedule just to make sure you had a solid excuse for missed calls.

"you didn't think that was important to tell us? no wonder someone hasn't been walking on campus bragging about how they nailed you." jacari says, a mutual friends of your's and riri's.

"lay off, at least she's faithful." karly says, staring daggers at him.

"i mean, you guys don't really ask me about my romantic life because you assumed there wasn't one."

"is there one? if he's out of state i'm sure that's hard to deal with." shuri can't help but say. the entire room turns to look at her, surprised she's asked such a question like that. she barely knew you. the one fact that she now did know about you was that you had a boyfriend that you didn't like to bring up. that was something she wasn't hoping to learn at all.

"yes, i have a very happy relationship with him." you say, knowing it's a lie. why are you lying? are you still trying to convince yourself? just today when he called you as you studied you argued with him. he wanted to stay where he was at for spring break and you wanted him to come visit you. it was months away, but you had to plan these things in advance with him. he never came to see you anymore. just this past christmas he lied saying he couldn't get out of his internship, but instead he was at his mother's house opening presents as she asked where you were.

you should have broken up with him by now. however, he was comfortable for you. did you really have the time to get to know someone entirely new? did you want to relearn someone's favorite color, zodiac sign, dreams, and goals? granted, there were plenty of choices in front of you that you already knew. such as riri, who you could see yourself being with. however, you prized her friendship so much more.

"that was intrusive, forgive me." shuri apologizes. her thick accent making your skin crawl.

"it's okay.." you mutter out.

"what's his name?" she asks, desperate to get any more information out of you. really, she just likes to hear your voice.

"monty." you say, his nickname rolling so easily off of your tongue, "i mean, his real name is montell. i call him monty."

"he sounds nerdy as fuck." riri can't help but say out of her own saltiness.

"i mean, he is."

"oh my god, so when was the last time you had an orgasm?" the mystery girl can't help but ask.

now this was a question shuri was interested in.

"i don't know. the beginning of this past summer." you wouldn't dare tell them that it had been one you pulled out of yourself.

"sis, you're kidding." jacari says, shocked at how long it had been. "y'all don't have phone sex?"

not even once.

"nah, it just never comes up for us." you try to say in a nonchalant manner, as if it doesn't bother you how you don't get turned on for him anymore. as if you ever did.

"that sounds miserable."

"it is." you can't lie as you laugh, "i've been itching to have sex for a while now. guess it'll just have to wait."

"whew, you're better than i am. i would've fucked half the campus by now if i were you." jacari continues on before taking a hit.

the conversation ends abruptly when riri's roommate comes out of her room and towards you.

"i need my beanbag please." she says, standing right over you. "i'm about to start studying and i'd rather not do it on my bed."

it takes a second to realize what she's saying to you through your high.

"yeah, of course." you say as you get up, pulling the chair from beside you and handing it to her.

"thanks." she says kindly, and then glares at riri. she goes back into her room, leaving you to stand.

"that bitch is always tripping. she didn't need her damn chair. she's just mad i have people over." riri says as she glares towards the door.

shuri notices you're standing and her mouth begins to speak before she can stop herself.

"do you want to sit in my lap? it's probably more comfortable than the floor." shuri offers up, everyone looking at her with wide eyes. it was a bold move that she was practically flirting with you despite finding out you have a boyfriend. also, after insulting the said relationship between the two of you.

of course, you didn't pick up on how charged that question really was. you were naturally oblivious to that stuff.

"yeah, okay. thanks." you say as you sit on her lap, or more specifically her knee. your spandex shorts made it so that practically every inch of your exposed skin was touching with hers, considering she had on shorts as well. you could tell they were riri's.

maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was the lack of sexual release. all you knew was that it felt damn good to have yourself pressed up against her knee. it was like she was teasing you, without even having to do it on purpose. you felt embarrassed as you felt yourself pulse from the closeness and how wonderful it felt. you attempted to get up, scared that she might know how you were feeling. however, her arm quickly found its way around your waist as she held you down onto her lap. your skin covered itself with goosebumps from the dominating grab. it was hard to act like you were interested in whatever conversation riri and her friends had been having with one another. shuri, on the other hand, had no problem continuing in the conversation as she felt how warm you were.

really shuri had not noticed just how bold her movements were. she had this want to protect you, as if you were hers. she wondered if it was because of her panther powers. however, she also wondered if it was something more. the reality that you had a boyfriend kept her from doing anything unwanted. she didn't know the way you felt towards her, if you had any feelings at all. if she couldn't get to know you in a romantic way then a friendly manner would have to do. even if she would ache for something more despite just meeting you this afternoon. shuri recalled a moment with her brother earlier in her life that left her thinking for the rest of the day after meeting you.

"when did you know nakia was the one for you, brother?"

he chuckles, "when i saw her."

shuri couldn't believe it, "what kind of hopeless romantic answer is that?"

"exactly what i just said. bast created soul ties underneath the rich vibranium soils that our eyes are unable to see. even us panthers can not view where the lines lead us. however, we can see when they have reached their destination. when you see that person, you just know that this is where your line ends. you know that bast made you for one another. you also know that you no longer need to search for that line."

"is there a chance that bast would forget to create a line for me? or at least, in the same way she created nakia's to you?" shuri began to wonder, scared because when she was young she didn't know where her sexuality laid.

"oh sweet little sister," he sighs, "bast would never forget to make you a person. after all, your annoying tendencies were made for someone to love."

"ugh, you suck!" shuri says, a wide smile on her face as she playfully hits her brother. he just smiles in return.

shuri believed that she saw the soul tie that connected to you. an american girl who she had never seen before. her brother was gone, but he was right.

your phone that is sitting in your lap starts to buzz, interrupting your train of thought as you attempt to uphold your composure and try not to seem too high. you squint your eyes at the bright screen.

"hi monty." you answer the phone, buzzed enough to sound happy that he's called. shuri watches the phone out of the corner of her eye. she's too curious to see what her competition looks like. he's sun kissed and has a buzz cut. he looked just as nerdy as his name sounded.

"where are you at?" he asks, not greeting her back.

"i'm at riri's."

shuri watches as his face turns into one of disgust. "i thought i told you to stop going over there. all she ever does is get you high."

riri is far too buzzed and in her own world to realize what he's said. shuri heard it though, and furrowed her brows.

"getting high is my own choice, monty. i know you get high with your frat bros in north carolina."

"it's different."

no it isn't.

"wait a minute, are you sitting on some other dude's lap?" he asks, as all he can see is shuri's curly hair.

"no, this is shuri. like the princess of wakanda shuri." you whisper that last part into the phone. it shows just how truly geeked you are.

"you're lying. that's a fucking dude."

before you can say anything, shuri takes the phone from you and puts it on her own face. you watch as monty's face goes wide and for once he has nothing to say.

"hello montell."

"oh, um. i-i'm sorry, princess." monty is scrambling to find the words and shuri can tell he wants to hang up. he always hated to be embarrassed. being embarrassed by royalty was the lowest it could get.

you take the phone back before he gets the chance to hang up, "wait, monty, what were you calling for?"

"well, i thought about what you were saying earlier. i'll come home for spring break. i miss you baby."

his voice sounded so insincere and shuri cringed at it. this was the man who got to claim you as his own? you had a beauty unrivaled and here you were wasting it on some man who couldn't even seem excited about seeing you. she felt offended for you, even though you were use to this by now.

"really? what made you change your mind?"

"i don't know. i guess i'll see you over break though. we can talk more about this at another time."

you knew what he meant by this.

"i'm not out partying, monty."

"you are. at least be a responsible adult and get up for your classes tomorrow. bye."

"bye." you say back, unwilling to fight.

when he hangs the phone up you realize the everyone is looking at you. your face heats up from noticing that everyone probably witnessed that entire exchange. of course they caught him on a night where he was being a dick. it was pretty much every night, so this did make your case to defend him a little harder. you didn't want to get up from shuri's knee considering it felt so nice up against you. however, you also didn't want to hear any comments from the gallery.

"i'm going to go home." you say, pulling yourself into sobriety after that conversation. "hope you all have a good night."

shuri lets you up from her lap. she feels bad you're walking home but it's not like you've never done it before. the heat you resonated leaves her feeling cold when you stand away from her. everything inside of her is screaming for her to grab you back into her arms and keep you there. a part of you wanted that too, but it was unrecognizable.

riri hands you the physics book on the table. "get home safe, y/n."

"i always do."

you got home safe that night. you also searched for an orgasm multiple times that night as you recalled how good you felt against her. you replicated her knee with a pillow and held on tight to yourself with your free hand. you tried so desperately to think of monty as you rocked against it. however, nothing worked. all you could do was imagine your head placed in the crook of the princess's neck, smelling her enticing cologne. you could hear her wakandan accent telling you how good you were doing and how badly she craved you. they were all words that monty could never say to you. they were words you searched so bad for because you ached for her praise. only when you moaned out her name as you finished made you so self aware to what you had been doing. this made you dig your head into your pillow, still heaving from the high.

what you did weighed heavy on your conscience. especially when you had been practically spending every day with shuri. she was basically attached to your hip. she joined your study sessions, she came with you to try american cuisine, her favorite being wingstop for some strange reason, and she even waited for you after every class. she was your best friend, making riri fall into second place.

at one point a rumor had been going around campus that the two of you were in a relationship, despite the fact you had a boyfriend. after all, who could deny a princess of the most powerful and advanced nation in the world? you could deny her as much as you wanted. however, you knew deep down that you couldn't do it for long. you didn't know how much longer you'd keep stringing monty and yourself along. commitment was something you were scared of. commitment to a future leader of a nation was something entirely different. what if you had decided to dump monty for a potential happy relationship with shuri? what would happen if it ended? you'd rather not think of all the possibilities, instead you preferred self sabotage. you appreciated shuri so dearly, in the a.m. and in the p.m. when you would finish to thoughts of her. whether it be how she played with your hair when she got bored, how she laughed so sweetly at your jokes, or how she constantly had her hand in yours or on your waist. you knew friends didn't do that. you knew that she also knew that.

the more time you spent with shuri meant the more time you spent ignoring monty. he saw paparazzi pictures that his friends would show him of the two of you together. he felt some type of way of course, blowing up your phone with "she might as well be your boyfriend the way she's touching on you." your only response being a swift "okay" and an "i'm sorry." you weren't sure how else to respond to him, knowing that you were cheating emotionally and even somewhat physically. you imagined that monty couldn't have stayed loyal to you with the lying he did. so what did it matter if you told a couple white lies too?

you didn't even realize that at one point whenever you brought him up you'd start referring to him again as his birth name, montell.

"montell?" you can't help but ask in surprise as you open the door to your dorm.

"surprise!" he says with the most emotion you've heard out of him in weeks. a bouquet of flowers are in his large hands. a nice turtleneck adorned his chest, which had gotten bigger. he must've been putting his frustration into working out. "you back to calling me by my birth name?"

he pushes his way into the dorm, looking around at your space that you shared with your roommate who had been out of town.

"um, you're early. a week early." you express to him, rubbing your forehead. you weren't prepared for his arrival in the slightest. your hair had been pulled into a bun and your face was bare. you adorned some grey sweatpants that did not belong to you. shuri had left them here the last time she slept over. she claimed it was "too warm" in the room to wear such pants. instead she wore a pair of your shorts that you never got back.

"you weren't going to tell me that your spring break started a week earlier than mine? i just decided to do my coursework ahead of time and then surprise you."

"honestly it slipped my mind." you say, which was the truth.

he sets the bouquet down.

"you look pretty." he says as he gets closer to you. his hands grab your waist, pulling you in and looking at you as if he wanted to devour you. it was almost as if he had forgotten how pretty you were. or maybe he was just jealous, because he knew the pants were too big for you.

you wanted to pull away, not wanting to kiss him despite thinking that you had been missing him all this time.

"not right now, i kinda just woke up." you say, which was a lie. it was eight p.m. on a rainy night. you could never sleep when it rained.

"okay, i guess later then when we go out to dinner. you looked like you were expecting somebody though with the way you opened up the door. is it that stupid princess you've been hanging around?"

there was the montell you were used to. a jealous, insecure, fucking man child.

"no." you say, a lie. your face scrunches up in disgust that he would refer to her in that tone.

he knows you're lying.

"okay. so if i wait up around in here she's not gonna show up?"

"i don't know. i can't control what she does."

"bullshit. you've got her walking around behind you like you're the one who's royalty. call her."

what?

"no."

"i said, fucking call her."

before you can say anything he's attempting to grab your phone. you put up a good fight, causing the phone to get launched right into his face. you gasp when you've realized what you did. instant regret fills your body as you spurt out countless apologizes.

"it would've been better if you just fucked her, y/n. cause then i could confidently say i don't give a fuck about you and finally tell you about all the girls i've been nailing since i went away. heh, just like how you've been. guess we finally have something in common."

your eyes go wide at his words. there it was. there was the truth that you had been begging to hear in some deep part of your brain. those were the words that could allow you to finally let him go. this was the moment you decided that you weren't okay with being 'comfortable' anymore. you were utterly repulsed at him and yourself for letting this go on for so long. for months you refused to act on impulses that you craved so badly to have. your lip trembled when you thought about how you could've kissed shuri ten times over by now. you had been holding onto something that you didn't realize had no real value to you anymore. and for what? to be treated like some idiot? you didn't deserve that.

"get the fuck out. you should've never come home."

"yeah i should've stayed with my other girlfriend. at least she doesn't flaunt herself around with other people in fucking tabloids. it's embarrassing you know that? when your buddies send you links of some bitch having her arm wrapped around your girlfriend? they teased me about it in my frat for weeks after she got caught playing in your hair and looking so lovey dovey with you. they called me a pussy for not coming back home sooner."

"so that's why you came back? to prove yourself to some idiot frat boys who are gonna be stuck drinking out of kegs the rest of their life while you write all their code, making them the millionaires? get the fuck out montell."

"you bitch-"

"i said leave."

you don't have to tell him again before he's grabbing up his roses and muttering curse words at you under his breath. you held your composure until he slammed the door shut. when surrounded in your own hospitality you finally crack. the tears fall down your face and plop as they hit the wooden floor. you were crying because you were upset about losing someone you loved. you were crying because you had let yourself be played for a fool for so long. a part of you feels liberated as the weight of montell is lifted off of your shoulders.

"y/n?" a voice says from behind the door. you recognize it's shuri.

attempting to speak only results in you being choked up. the door opens as you raise your head to look up at her.

her grey hoodie that says MIT has raindrops all over it. her curls are wet and drip against the wood floors. she looked beautiful despite being soaked. the fact she looked so beautiful made you cry even more.

when she lays her eyes on you she can't help but immediately rush over. she drops the books about physics she had in her hand. she had every intention on coming over here to study with you, but now she didn't care about any of that. she had never seen you like this before. her only priority was you. her heart was set solely on you.

"what happened?" she asks, her arms wrapped around your body as you huddled into yourself. you don't dare to look at her, feeling too ashamed.

"montell.. i'm so stupid." you manage to choke out.

shuri puts it all together. she thought that man she had passed in the hallway just now looked familiar. she knew even more that something was up when he gave her a glare that could've had him killed. had she known he left you like this, she would've killed him herself. how dare he cause such pain to someone who did nothing but care for others?

"whatever happened, you are not stupid. you are one of the brightest girls i know, and that's saying a lot."

you somehow manage to laugh and look back up at her. she's still holding on tight, making you feel warm in her embrace. it reminds you of the study session at riri's. it feels pure. it feels like you're the only person in the world to her.

she wipes away your tears with the pads of her thumbs, her eyebrows contorted into a face that resembles worry.

"please don't cry. you are too pretty to cry over such ugly things. i hate to see you cry."

you think that this is exactly how love is supposed to feel as she says those words to you.

"shuri.."

"y/n. you make me feel things that i've never felt before. you're something that is so impossible to ignore that i can't help but spend every second with you. you put up with my annoying tendencies. you put up with my clinginess. you put up with my lack of american pop culture knowledge. you denied me my feelings because you knew it was the wrong thing to do if you fell into my temptation. i know you know deep down how i feel for you. it is quite obvious. you are an angel among men, y/n. you are my angel. you've saved me in ways that you can't even begin to think of. i never had any intentions on falling in love with you, but it has happened. you may not be in love with me but you are what makes my world spin. you are what makes my oceans flow and earth quake. you are exactly who bast intended me for and i can't ignore this anymore. i can't let you sit here and think you are foolish when you are anything but. you are considerate, you are kind, you are a person worthy of being a queen. you are my queen, wakanda's future queen."

her words have shocked you as you sit there, eyes wide and your mouth partly gaped open. you thought you'd want to hear those words from montell, but really it had been shuri all along. you couldn't ignore your feelings towards her after a love confession of such caliber. it had shaken you to your core and it took you out of your sadness. your heart was beating at a dangerous tempo, but it was aligned with hers. you didn't know what she meant by her goddess creating you for her, but you could feel it. you could feel it because you knew she was made for you as well.

you hadn't realized, but you knew everything about her. you knew shuri's favorite color was purple. you knew her zodiac sign was sagittarius. you knew her dreams and goals of advancing wakanda. you also knew how scared she was to become the future queen as she once cried in your arms.

you love shuri. you love her so much that it made you blind. you'd rather ignore that feeling than feed into it, but that's all changed now. she took the lead tonight and now it was time for you to express what came to your mind.

so you did.

your lips connected to hers in a wild frenzy. finally you were quenching this thirst you had been searching for since she came into your life. after all this time you were doing the unthinkable. you were allowing yourself to be her's, rather than anyone else's. your fears of commitment felt like things of the past when your hands made their way to her face. her skin felt so soft against yours, as it got wet from your tears. her plump lips are attached to your soft ones. it felt like you were intertwining yourself with her. for shuri, it felt like the soul ties were becoming knotted into one. finally she had you and she had no plans of ever letting you go. this was the unthinkable and it was so beautiful as you held onto each other, placing intimate kisses one one another. this was you saying you loved her just as deeply as she loved you, in very little words.

you were ready. after all this time you were ready to see what was right in front of you this whole time. you could never go back to what it was before. she was your soulmate.

"i'm sorry." you whisper out after you pull away to breathe.

her hands begin caressing your face as her eyebrows furrow. "what are you sorry for, my love?"

"i'm sorry for not doing this any sooner. i'm so sorry."

"you never have to apologize to me. i would've waited until the end of time for you."

you smile, feeling your heart swell.

as the rain falls down around outside of your dorm walls, you stay in her embrace. shuri could feel her brother smiling at her from a distant plane, knowing in death that he was right. he had been smiling even brighter at the prospect that shuri did indeed find her nakia.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽︎

[grandlinedreams]

... hi, it's me again ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ i'm on finals week so i need a heavy dose of daydreaming with my comfort characters. can i request some hc (or an escenario, again whichever you prefer) about law helping the reader to study for an exam? maybe his reaction to the reader thinking that their grade wasn't good enough after taking the test? (great score, not the full mark) thank you sm ! i love your writing and i hope you have a great week and take proper rests mwah .⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Oof, finals week is always a doozy :( you've got this bb, I'm hoping that you got wonderful scores!!

[Heads up!: modern!au, fluff, comfort!]

You've been studying for weeks. Hours upon hours spent poring over your notes and text books, making flashcards and begging Law to help you review them, make sure that your grasp of the content was solid.

Highlighter stained fingers and paragraph after paragraph ㅡ burning the midnight oil until you can't keep your eyes open any longer. Law helps where he can, both in studying (he even drags out some of his old notes) and in making sure that you don't turn this into a detriment to your health.

("I'm not just your boyfriend," he intones as he more or less pushes you towards the bed, "I'm also a doctor. And I don't want you to pass out, so bed. Now.")

And ultimately, you have a good feeling that all of your hardwork will pay off ㅡ you're a good student, you pay attention, you ask questions when you need to.

It feels like a slap to the face when your score doesn't reflect that. At first you think you've read it wrong, trace it with a finger and mouth it to yourself ㅡ and then disappointment slams into you like a lead weight.

With yourself, with the material, even your professor (who, oddly enough, is one of the sweeter people you've had for a class) ㅡ it isn't fair.

You tried. You tried so hard ㅡ and it still isn't enough.

Law's first warning that things aren't okay is the fact that you don't answer your cellphone when he tries to call and ask what you want for dinner. The second is that the lights are off in your shared apartment, something that never happens (both of you have odd sleep schedules even when things are normal and there is almost always a light on somewhere) ㅡ and that he can't find you.

Your shoes are at the door, jacket hung up, along with your keys ㅡ you're home, but where is the question.

With limited space, there is only a handful of places you can be and when he sees you're not in the room that doubles as both a study and his office, he checks the bedroom.

Yor back is to him and were it not for the tremble of your shoulders, he'd think you were asleep. But you're not, you're crying and his heart sinks.

"[Name]," he says as he approaches, coaxing you up and into his arms, "why are you crying?"

It takes a minute or two for you to answer, sniffling as you take a shuddering breath. "Got the results of the exam back."

Law frowns. "And?" He prompts gently, wiping at your face, tear tracks cooling on your skin. He watches you, the tremble of your lips as you tell him your score, and his frown deepens. "That isn't that bad," he says, "that's only a couple points off."

"But I studied my ass off, Law!" Frustration colors your tone. "I worked so hard to ace that exam and it doesn't feel like I did enough."

Law understands the need for perfection, for everything to have a place and for nothing to be subpar ㅡ but he also knows how detrimental that can be for both your self-esteem and your overall health.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Law says, cradling your face gently. "You're still on the higher end of score for that exam, [Name]. And you can always ask your professor where she docked points and why."

Law has a point, and you sniffle before you press into him, sighing as he rubs your back. "You're right. I'm sorry for crying, that's stupid."

"No, it isn't." Law chides gently. "But these past few weeks have been stressful for you. I brought home dinner, and I can start a bath for you after, if you'd like."

You press a soft kiss to his shoulder. "Can we cuddle after?"

"Of course."

You hum, letting yourself cling to your boyfriend a little longer. "Sounds perfect."

[kedreeva]

Running with the "Steve helps Eddie study for finals" into "Steve quickly discovers that strip-flashcards is not an effective way to get right answers from Eddie" and right into "changing the rules so Eddie has to grab a sharpie and write the right answers down somewhere that he'll remember" and then "I'll remember what part of Steve's skin I wrote this on"

(my inbox is open for ST prompts!)(Previous prompts)

god I remember this discussion lol let's see if I can do it well

------

Steve hasn't done a lot of studying in his life. He didn't need to study to cruise through high school with a solid C average, and he had never planned on needing anything higher than that. He aced a few courses just because they didn't require anything from him, so his GPA was always just a little higher.

But he'd met Nancy partway through, most of the way through if he's being honest, and she had taken notes and made cards and highlighted textbooks. She had played little memory games and made little songs about the things she needed to remember. He tried harder, around her, and even had done a little better.

Which is why when Eddie asks for his help, when he needs to pass two more classes in order to make it out, Steve is all too happy to show him.

Except... Eddie isn't Nancy.

His notes are a mess, completely illegible to anyone that isn't Eddie. He doesn't pay attention to the notecards, and Steve finds him asleep over the textbooks almost every time. He can read an entire Dungeons and Dragons manual cover to cover and parrot back everything inside of it, but he cannot get 2 paragraphs into his history book. Songs almost work, except for the fact that Eddie doesn't know the meaning of singing in his head.

But... Eddie isn't Nancy.

When Steve had suggested Nancy remove articles of clothing for wrong answers, she had balked. She had told him no, and she had meant it.

When Steve suggests Eddie remove articles of clothing for wrong answers, Eddie ends up naked in as many notecards as he has articles of clothing, and the only studying that gets done that night is human anatomy. It only goes slightly better the other way around; he manages to get Steve stripped almost as quickly, and the study session ends.

Steve is at a loss.

Steve is at a loss until he sees Eddie doodling a tattoo idea around his own ankle with a permanent marker.

"Hey," he says. Eddie doesn't have ears like a cat, but the way he doesn't look up, the way his attention shifts with just the slightest twitch of his head, reminds Steve of a cat twitching one ear in acknowledgement. "You have that algebra test monday, right?"

Eddie hums confirmation, and then stops drawing and looks at Steve with a warming smile. "You trying to suggest some flash cards again?"

"Something like that," Steve agrees, and holds out his hand. "Can I see that marker?"

Eddie joins him on the bed and passes him the marker without question. Steve uncaps it, tests it against his skin. It's cold, but not unpleasant, and he doesn't have work the next few days while the store finishes renovations. It could work.

He wriggles out of his shirt, and Eddie's eyes light up in anticipation, but Steve holds out a hand to stop him, marker grasped upright in it. Eddie takes it back with a confused look.

"You have to remember formulas, right?"

Eddie groans. "I've been had!"

Steve rolls his eyes. "You haven't been had. You like leaving marks on me, right?"

"Yeah, with my teeth, Steve," Eddie tells him.

Steve shrugs and sprawls back on Eddie's pillows, arms behind his head. "I don't care how you hold the pen," he says with a shit-eating grin. "But I have a feeling you'll remember the formulas a little better if you're picturing where you've written them on me."

Eddie's breath goes soft, his eyes blinking slowly, and Steve smiles fondly because he knows what Eddie looks like when he loses function for a few seconds. Then Eddie is diving for his math textbook, and a moment later Steve finds himself with a lap full of eager boyfriend.

He scribes his homework onto Steve's skin in ink first and lips second, whispering each one. Steve echoes them, and maybe he actually learns something as well because he knows where Eddie will kiss next by the numbers and letters he recites. He fills in Steve's chest and rolls him over to scrawl all over the lean muscles of his back, down past his ass, onto his thighs.

"Cannot believe you're really going to give me a hard-on for math," he whispers into the soft hollow of Steve's knee, a second before he bites Steve for laughing.

He aces the test on Monday.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 5

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Laurent moved off a few steps. Damen saw him lift a hand to the back of his own neck, as if to release tension. Saw him do nothing for a moment but stand and be quiet and breathe the cool air scented with night flowers. It occurred to Damen for the first time that Laurent might have his own reasons for wanting to escape the attention of the court.

i appreciate this hint of their future dynamic :)

A silence opened up around Laurent’s words. In it, their meaning changed. Herode began, ‘I—’ Then he looked at Damen, and his expression grew alarmed. ‘Is this safe? He’s broken his leash. Guard!’

context: laurent needs herode to think that damen deserved the flogging, so he took him somewhere private and broke his bindings, framing damen as disobedient. nice moment ruined >:(

‘If you’re concerned that my memory for wrongs against me is longer than ten months,’ said Laurent, ‘there’s no need for anxiety. I am sure you can persuade me you were genuinely mistaken.’

translation: “make it up to me, disloyal coward.” the way laurent deals with this person, who lacks loyalty and integrity, foreshadows how much he will struggle to hate damen, who has more loyalty and integrity than any sane person probably should

‘How thoughtful of you, Councillor,’ said Laurent. ‘He turned to Damen and said in a melting voice, ‘Your back must hurt terribly.’ ‘It’s fine,’ said Damen. ‘Kneel on the ground, then,’ Laurent said.

absolutely no strategy here, laurent just sucks. "oh you're comfortable for once? let's see what i can do about that." also the fact that laurent is trying to appear likable to herode but still cannot resist being a bitch to damen is sooo funny

His best feature was a pair of amazing blue eyes, unmatched by any Damen had ever seen, except for the ones he had recently been staring into.

damen has a talent for thirsting over laurent in the most backhanded manner possible

His skin was fair and his curling light brown hair was burnished with gold. He was exactly the type that Damen could have drawn down onto the sheets and spent a very pleasant couple of hours enjoying.

damen likes blondes mention #4. erasmus barely scrapes by, but the word “gold” tells us everything we need to know

‘Well?’ Laurent said. ‘Can you couple adequately, or do you just kill things?’

god he sucks. also, “adequate.”

Damen thought that given the choice between the lash and a conversation with Laurent, he might actually choose the lash.

‘He’s not very talkative,’ remarked Vannes. ‘It comes and goes,’ said Laurent.

laurent continues to shoulder the burden of being the funniest bitch in this entire court

Damen was sickened by the idea of some nobleman’s boy offering himself up to be hurt on the assumption that it would play to Laurent’s tastes. Then he thought of all he knew of Laurent, and only felt sicker, because of course the boy’s assumptions were probably correct.

context: i don’t think laurent is an equal-opportunity sadist, or even a sadist at all. he just really hates damen specifically, and mirrors the viciousness of his culture to survive

If there was anything explicit on view, it must be the absence of all desire to be where he was.

the garden scene. okay. 

first, context: a possible explanation for laurent volunteering damen could be a desire to see him experience a similar situation to his own abuse from his uncle, since damen is the reason laurent lost his protector. however, that doesn’t quite sound right to me, because wouldn’t seeing this whole tableau just re-traumatize laurent? then again, laurent’s life in the veretian court is pretty much endless re-traumatization, all day every day. so i suppose in his mind, he might as well get something out of his own shitty circumstances, and that something in this case is revenge. misery loves company, after all. 

also, sex to laurent is a matter of control and power, rather than love or pleasure. so to him, both this and the fighting ring might feel the same as any other kind of violence. he doesn’t care about the additional violation that sexual assault carries towards his enemies—and at the end of the day, laurent knows that he himself has probably been through worse. 

the exception to this is nicaise, or anyone else who laurent deems innocent and disempowered. those people, he will try to protect to the very best of his ability. but at this point in the series, laurent sees damen not only as a shitty person, but also a shitty person with power. he knows that damen is not a slave, but a prince. a prince who keeps slaves of his own. so in laurent-brain, i can see how this could be twisted into something justifiable. or just not worth justifying at all.

it still isn’t right, though. they could have done this and been just as horny about it with, like, dubious consent rather than none. i think i would feel more comfortable finding elements of this scene hot if that were the case, but i respect and appreciate that the point of this book is not simply to Be Hot. and to be fair—instant gratification, moral simplicity, and straightforward execution are not very compelling qualities for an erotic scene to possess. i’m just glad that the rest of the sex-adjacent scenes in this series between damen and laurent are explicitly consensual, because this scene would be harder to accept within the series’s ethical framework and the development of their love story if it happened multiple times.

i want to analyze the craft here, but i feel uncomfortable dissecting what i know to be a non-consensual scene in order to determine what makes it hot. but i also know, undeniably, that the events of this scene are hot, and that hotness was almost certainly written on purpose. 

for me, the hotness does not come from the lack of consent itself, but rather the action and dialogue happening on the page. i don’t think the lack of consent is necessarily meant to be hot here—it’s the absolute insanity of laurent’s approach to oral sex, and the power dynamic it creates, that makes the scene memorable. and those elements could easily be reproduced in a consensual scene and have the same effect. so i want to study those elements specifically, to see how they work as erotic writing, removed from the parts that don’t. 

tl;dr: the garden scene is unequivocally non-consensual. however, it is written in a way that eroticizes the circumstances. i can still study the writing where it is effective without finding the circumstances of the scene morally justifiable or hot, in fiction or real life. 

anyway. i'm trying to study the craft of scenes like this, so i'm going full analysis on this one. garden scene, summarized:  

setup: laurent is rumored to be frigid and does not partake in the sexual activities of veretian nobility. yet he goes along with this tableau, allowing damen to be used as a participant. i do not think that this is for laurent’s own sexual gratification, because i don’t think laurent is in touch with his own sexuality in general. sex means something different to laurent than it does to damen, and the other characters in the scene, and (i’d hope) to the reader as well.

beginning: ancel isn’t damen’s type. damen has no strong feelings about ancel as a person. he is not attracted to ancel’s frivolity or weak will. being serviced by ancel is not doing anything for damen. he feels smug about this. it gives him power over laurent, who has permitted this tableau in order to emphasize the power he has over damen.

then: laurent—who is damen’s type, his worst enemy, and the reason he’s in this situation in the first place—starts coaching ancel on how to give head. laurent is completely methodical and detached with his instructions, and is clearly focusing on psychologically tormenting damen, rather than getting off on the display. in other words, he is neither frivolous nor weak-willed. he’s exactly the opposite. 

meanwhile: damen, our pov character, is no longer immune to whatever the fuck is going on in this scene. he is into this and can’t hide it. he has lost the power he briefly had over laurent, and now possesses even less power than he started with. not only is he owned by laurent in the technical sense, but he is being owned by laurent in the horny sense too. 

and i believe that the intention is for the reader to understand how he's feeling—not to blame him for his interest, because this situation is clearly compelling, to damen and possibly the person reading. laurent’s ability to essentially mindfuck damen across the room, fully clothed, is honestly insane. cs pacat herself says that about laurent in a commentary video—he’s a mindfucker. it’s intentional and it’s the focal point of the scene. much later on in the series, i think damen even admits that he was paying attention to laurent the whole time. it’s hot. it just is. 

i’ll point out more specific things in the following passages, but that’s the gist of it. i'm cringing so hard posting this publicly, but if heterosexual women on booktok can post their whole-ass face and gps location while fangirling over colleen hoover sex scenes, i think i can share my messy gay mindfucking analysis on a website that hasn't been a part of the public consciousness since like 2017

Laurent was watching Damen’s face with the same cerebral attention that he might apply to a strategic problem. ‘He likes that. Do it harder,’ said Laurent.

craft note: laurent openly observes damen’s responses, notices exactly what works, tells ancel to do that specifically because “he likes it,” and that turns damen on even more

personal note: oh my god

Damen could feel his thighs tighten, then, minutely, spread, his breath quickening in his chest... He turned towards Laurent. It was a mistake to look at him. Even in the shadows of evening, Damen could see the relaxed arrangement of Laurent’s body, the marmoreal perfection of his features, and the detached unconcern with which he gazed at Damen, not bothering to so much as glance down at Ancel’s moving head.

craft note: damen loses his resolve, looks to laurent for mercy, and is just even more mindfucked by the fact that laurent is completely unaffected, not even interested at all

If you believed the Prince’s Guard, Laurent was the impregnable citadel, and took no lovers at all. Right now Laurent gave the impression of a mind somewhat engaged, and a body wholly aloof, untouched by ardour. The ribald fancy of the Prince’s Guard held a kernel of plausibility. On the other hand, the aloof, untouched Laurent was at this moment delivering a precise treatise on cocksucking.

god, this is SO fucking good. damen is basically admitting that he can’t believe laurent is entirely sexless, because he is managing to fuck him without even having sex at all.

craft note: that is the perfect moment to insert a crass word, after paragraphs of more clinical descriptions. i love that the only time we hear “cocksucking” in this scene is in reference to laurent not actually sucking cock, while it is (intentionally, i assume) not used in reference to the actual cocksucking that’s happening on the page. 

also, "precise treatise" cracks me up, as someone currently writing what could be considered a precise treatise on this scene.

The image of Ancel... was joined in his fragmenting thoughts by the sudden harsh desire to get his hands on Laurent’s body and exact revenge—both for his actions and for his airy absence.

damen’s desire to get laurent’s attention because he wants to fight him, but also because he wants laurent to see him come… diabolical writing. craft. whatever. this is an objective and academic analysis.

Damen was... pushed back down onto his knees. Laurent was seated opposite, legs crossed. Damen’s eyes fixed on him, and looked nowhere else; his breathing was still noticeable, and his pulse rapid, but anger produced all the same effects.

who’s ancel?

additional thoughts on erotic elements in the garden scene: i think what i like here, is that… yeah, it’s horny. it’s indulgent, easily the most blatant instance of kink we’ve seen so far. but it’s not really what i think frequent readers of this kink genre would expect, or even want to read—it is a subversion, with laurent completely disrupting the basic scenario that everyone else (but damen) in the scene wants to mindlessly enjoy. 

but that subversion, to me, just makes it hotter. there’s physical stuff happening, sure, but the real eroticism comes from the words, emotions, and power exchange between laurent and damen. the scene doesn’t give the reader the simplicity of “someone topped, someone bottomed, here are several pages of mechanical description.” the actual sex act is described almost clinically, just how laurent dictates. and it’s definitely not as simple as who’s topping and who’s bottoming—whatever the fuck happens here is way weirder and messier than that, and so much more compelling. 

basically, i think that this scene fails to be hot in all the ways a reader of this kink genre would expect it to be hot. the real hotness comes from the bizarre subversion we get instead, that we just have to kind of accept without any closure or explanation. it’s either an unsexy sex scene, or a sexy not-sex scene. maybe it’s both. either way, it’s insane.

how can i replicate this? 

set up a thing that follows expectations. don’t actually do the thing. do something significantly more insane than the expected thing. do not elaborate on the insane thing, leaving more questions than answers, and move on as if it wasn’t insane at all. this is a good method for not-sex scenes, too.

Laurent, for his part, was relaxed, one arm spread out over the back of the bench.

laurent lean #4

‘I’ll offer for you, if you like. When the time comes. I wouldn’t want you in my bed, but you’d have all the same privileges. You might prefer that. I’d offer.’

context: this is the best possible way laurent can protect nicaise within the confines of their culture. and “you might prefer that”—laurent wants nicaise to be able to foster his intelligence and talents (his "privileges") as a growing person, without having to be a sexual object.

‘He gives them all up,’ said Laurent, ‘even if you’re more enterprising than the others have been.’ ‘He likes me better than the others.’ A scornful laugh. ‘You’re jealous.’ And then it was Nicaise’s turn to react to something he saw in Laurent’s face, and he said, with a horror Damen didn’t understand, ‘You’re going to tell him you want me.’ ‘Oh,’ said Laurent. ‘No. Nicaise . . . no. That would wreck you. I wouldn’t do that.’ Then his voice became almost tired. ‘Maybe it’s better if you think that I would. You have quite a good mind for strategy, to have thought of that. Maybe you will hold him longer than the others.’ For a moment it seemed as if Laurent would say something else, but in the end he just stood up from the bench, and held his hand out to the boy. ‘Come on. Let’s go. You can watch me get told off by my uncle.’

context: nicaise knows that anything laurent wants, his uncle will not let him have. believing that laurent hates him and would offer for him out of spite, nicaise takes the offer is a threat. laurent, who isn’t threatening him at all, realizes that nicaise is right. laurent’s attempts at protection would only get nicaise hurt. the best he can do is banter with the kid and look after him from a distance. this house is a fucking nightmare.

[val-of-the-north]

Wanted to pop in and just say thanks for all your hard work with lore posts! Elden Ring is such a tough game to get a grasp on, leaving so many things up to interpretation. But in the end, there are also things solidly backed by actual lore, and you do such a great job of referencing and adhering to that canon pretty objectively. We all have our biases when we read this info, which leads us into the realm of interpretation. But when posters like you go to lengths to outline canon lore with screencaps and images to back your interpretations up, it's not just helping me see how you reached a conclusion but also laying the info out clearly so I can decide if I agree with that conclusion.

There's a lot of info that gets missed or plain old ignored in favor of either villifying/woobifying characters depending on what people think of them. And then sometimes people make these huge leaps from A to B that are just mystifying and seem to be purely based on "this sounds good to me so it must be right". It's refreshing to see someone trying hard to just present the facts and go from there, without these leaps of faith and desire to change the characters in one direction or another. It's easy to think you're reading things objectively while still clearly interpreting everything with a certain bias that will paint your favs/unfavs in a better/worse light, so your more neutral efforts are a breath of fresh air!

Hey! That's very sweet to find in my inbox... I am glad people appreciate the way I write my lore posts. I strive to be very objective when I tackle these topics, so I am very glad it's noticeable. I still have room for improvement, I will not lie, but I am surely getting better and better! The use of more images in my claims is something I started to pick up on recently, though believe it or not, I used to do it a looooong time ago too, for sillier stories lol. Now they are here to stay though, and they provide a very neat way to space out posts too.

I am honestly really flattered with your words ahahahah. Characters are probably the hardest ones to keep a purely objective lens on, as I do have my own personal opinions and headcanons on them as well as certain events that involve them… regardless, I try my absolute best to not rely too much on those and simply on things I have structured those headcanons after.

Of course, depending on what the lore I am discussing is about, I will be focusing and highlighting particular aspects over others, because I can't make an entire character study every time one is needed. Things would get really bloated and not as understandable really fast! I also avoid fandom tropes like the plague unless I am purposefully making a meme lol. I do dislike when meme/flanderized versions of characters end up popping up in genuine lore analysis (like "absolutely worthless fool" Godrick and "completely irredeemable fiend" Miquella, but there are many more)

To conclude... thank you so much for this! It was certainly a breath of fresh air that I needed too eheh... but I guess since we are talking about lore posts, I could tease that the next thing I wanna tackle has to do with the soul and body in Elden Ring! It's a topic that has fascinated me for some time, and the DLC actually helped me piece together some stuff I had missed from base game! I will try to make it as good as it can possibly be!

[latibvles]

❛ if you called just to get off on my voice, i’m hanging up. ❜ for viv x bucky

STUDY BREAK.

... more frat boys au who is surprised. no one? good. they're so deeply unserious here. takes place sometime after the au within an au that is the ocean city trip. John Egan with his tits out on FaceTime will bring about world peace.

—

The roar of her laptop’s fans are doing a fairly apt job of impersonating Viv’s overfried brain. Multiple tabs are open, and she’s half wondering if Inez would lend her those blue-light filter glasses she had. The clock in the corner of the screen displays an offensive-looking 11:45pm. If she could go back in time and stop eighteen-year-old Vivian from being so insistent in majoring in fucking physics, she probably would.

Or maybe that’s just her frustration talking. She doesn’t care enough to make the distinction.

She groans, rubbing her temples. 

If Viv had any less pride she’d curl up under her covers and have a long frustrated cry about it, but she’d learnt at nine that crying about it just would end with a swat to the mouth. Not that she imagined anyone would come into her room to do that now, but she’s pretty sure that Brady’s in Willie’s room and they probably don’t want to hear her whipping her pencil case at their shared wall in a math-induced temper tantrum.

She takes a small breath, eyes squeezing shut and them snapping back open.

The PowerPoint still glares at her: cold, ruthless, and unforgiving — just like the ancient professor who’d alluded to another brutal pop quiz tomorrow. Viv curses her as she clicks the next slide, trying to make sense of it with her array of highlighters and color-coded gel pens.

She’s got maybe five ways to stage that woman’s death like an accident when her phone starts buzzing with a FaceTime call. Viv fixes it with a long, hard look, before sighing in resignation.

Bucky’s the last person she wants to subject to her anger-induced isolationism, since temper tantrums are out of the cards. She answers and snorts as she watches him blink blearily at his screen before reaching over for the lamplight and flicking it on.

“You’re a real sight.” She teases.

“I may or may not have woken up from a nap.”

“Yeah, I can tell. Nice cowlicks,” she chooses to omit that really it’s mostly from his voice — gruff and gravelly as he clears his throat, sitting up and running a hand over the planes of his chest where the camera cuts off. She elects to ignore the warmth blooming in the pit of her belly from the way he grins.

“Keep talking like that n’ someone might think you like me.”

“Don’t know what gave you that idea.” Viv’s smiling as he lets out a small whine, stretching out sleep-stiff muscles and propping himself up on pillows to look at her. Somehow without being in the room, he sends a shiver up her spine, staring at her with such blatant attraction. “So you’re getting no sleep tonight, huh?” He chuckles and shrugs.

“Small price to pay. Feels pretty worth it right about now.” He keeps making small noises as he shifts, getting comfortable in his plaid sheets but not enough to doze off again. Sometimes, she wants to tape his mouth shut.

“Y’know, if you called just to get off on my voice, I’m hanging up.” She warns.

“That the kinda guy you take me for?” She fixes him with a pointed look when he asks that question. Of course, Bucky’s never hit her with some stupid ‘U up?’ text, or any variety of eye-roll-worthy messages on social media. But acting like FaceTime wasn’t their preferred method when they’d inevitably been in Wisconsin and Michigan respectively was just dumb. She likes to think she knows her boyfriend.

“John.” Viv says, because it’s all she needs to say.

“Vivian.” He counters, in a half-mocking tone. And she kind of can’t stand the fact that he’s the only one who could make her name sound so intimate. Or maybe it’s just the last of her brain cells being killed off by the slideshow.

“I’m just saying I wouldn’t put it past you.” He laughs at that, low and rumbling and— goddammit, John Egan.

“Yeah, sweetheart, you talking about Sir Isaac Newton just really gets me going,” he drawls, but the hint of sarcasm in his voice falls a little flat in consideration to the fact that yes, it does. As do most things. Because he’s both flatteringly and amusingly easy to rile up. That makes her laugh, rolling her eyes as she returns her attention to her prior focus. She can feel his eyes on her as she prompts her phone up by her lamp. “S’that my hoodie?” She glances down at the dark blue Ocean City hoodie from this past summer.

“You left it in my car.” He’s grinning, she can hear it in his voice on the next thing he says.

“Looks good. Guess I should leave clothes behind more often.”

“If you don’t plan on getting anything back, then sure.” She shrugs. Bucky hums, a low sound, keeping his gaze fixed on her as they lapse into a comfortable silence. Or rather, something like it, because with every momentary glance up to him he’s looking at her intently.

Eyes darting across her neck and collarbones, as he eases into being properly awake. He cracks a joke every now and again when she grunts or huffs or makes any noise of frustration, goes about the business of putting a shirt on. Selfishly, she wishes that he’d kept it off even as she wills herself into not being distracted by him. Easy, brief praises falling from his lips as he mills about his own room; really just a handful of blocks away. She knows that room and all of its baseball decals and overloved laminated newspaper clippings. He rises at some point and she gets a flash of familiar plaid pajama pants hanging off his hips.

Dammit Bucky.

He’s just existing, really and all she can think about is how she’d much rather be pressing kisses to that broad chest of his as opposed to cramming for a pop quiz that may or may not happen.

“Viv?”

“Hm?”

“You look like you’re about to snap that pen in half,” he remarks sagely and - huh - she is white-knuckling it. She sets the pen down with a less-than-subtle thud and looks up at him.

“You should come over,” she puts plainly. He grins a little bit, and she tacks on at the end a very blunt “I miss you.”

“Am I bringing anything or just myself?” he asks, which is sweet enough to make her smile, but she shakes her head.

“Just yourself,” and then, fixing a gaze on the shirt he’s got on: a plain black t-shirt, she quickly adds “Actually, an extra shirt. I’m keeping the one on you.”

“Already undressing me? Geez, Viv, thought I was the impatient one.” Even as he teases her he’s moving out of frame to presumably grab his slides and rummage through his dresser. Viv rolls her eyes, setting aside her stuff to watch him, leaning forward to rest her chin on her hand.

“Blame physics.”

“I think I’ll be thanking it this time, actually.” Viv narrows her eyes at his wicked grin.

“You’ve got twenty minutes before I start reading from textbooks for you instead of anything else.” The last look she gets before she goes to hang up the phone is something disbelieving, amused, and smoldering that makes her laugh and feel warm all at the same time.

She gave him twenty minutes to get to their house. He’s at the front door in fifteen.

[vegan-commie]

this paper is phenomenal. some of my highlights under the cut

… killing in itself is not the problem but the act of rendering whole categories of beings legitimately “killable” (or at any rate exploitable; When Species Meet, 80). This is supported by Wolfe’s argument that the concept of species has the function of legitimising “indirect murder,” in contemporary biopolitical contexts, through framing certain forms of killing as ethically acceptable. Moreover, he suggests that the categorization of certain actors (both human and non-human) as legitimately exploitable on a large scale, which occurs within the agricultural-industrial complex, has acted as a testing ground for the techniques of biopower:

Such practices must be seen not just as political but as in fact constitutively political for biopolitics in its modern form. Indeed the practices of maximizing control over life and death, of ‘making live’, in Foucault’s words, through eugenics, artificial insemination and selective breeding, pharmaceutical enhancement, inoculation and the like, are on display in the modern factory farm as perhaps nowhere else in biopolitical history. (Before the Law, 46

“Species” thus functions to separate actors who are legitimately “killable” from those who are not and, perhaps still more seriously, de-politicizes these acts of killing; making it impossible to ask ethical questions about them. This is deeply problematic for two reasons: firstly, it secures an epistemological mechanism that allows animality to be projected onto certain social groups,whenever it is politically expedient to disregard their rights (as touched on previously); secondly, the failure to understand such acts of killing as political means that it is impossible to disrupt the mechanisms of biopower that enact this killing.

———————-

Wolfe’s argument is thus that meat consumption is bound up with the structures guaranteeing the ipseity of the humanist subject and is contingent on animals being positioned as legitimately “consumable.”

Articulated in a Foucauldian register, carno-phallogocentrism thus refers less to the ritualised sacrifice of animals at the behest of the autonomous subject, and more to the way that meat consumption feeds into the discoursesof the liberal consumer-subject: as a manifestation of the freedom to do (or eat!) whatever this subject wants (as long as it is economically productive).

———-

What is key is that any new delineation of this [ethical] community should not be rigid, but create the necessary conditions for further openness and complexity, echoing Wolfe’s closing argument: “An affirmative biopolitics need not—indeed, as I have argued cannot—simply embrace ‘life’ in all its undifferentiated singularity” (104); instead “we must choose [what to include in the ethical community], and by definition we cannot choose everyone and everything at once. But this is precisely what ensures that, in the future, we will have been wrong” (103). In this light, a material practice (such as veganism) that takes a clearly defined ethical position but, in doing so, denaturalises the epistemological structures that support humanist political subjectivities, is perhaps more open than one that seemingly stays with the trouble” but does not create space for identifying, or critically engaging with, the ethical blind-spots that perpetuate humanist norms and values.

[saiwriting]

Thoughts, Thoughts, Blog #10 😆🥳🎊

Our Parents as People

Saiya Soublet

Being lost is not always a terrible thing, but it sure isn't pleasant either.

Sometimes I think about when this country was first founded. In fact, I think about it a lot. In terms of how we got here. In terms of where we're going. The trip from Jamestown all the way to Manifest Destiny always fascinated me because of the way colonists navigated unfamiliar lands with audacity, tenacity, and violence. Of course, I will never write a piece giving any colonizers their credit or glorifying them in any way, but I do think it's worth studying how exactly they navigated being lost in order to find themselves landing in prosperity. Furthermore, do I even follow their lead to a certain extent, or do I go about it in a way that is more enlightened to the new wave of spirituality we see happening now? Either way, I am lost.

Being lost is not fun. Being lost comes with a haziness that is all pervasive, and the anxiety I get for just being asked What are you doing or What's been going on in your life? is immense and pervasive. I cannot answer that question for you. You just have to trust me in this...what I call life purgatory. The thing is this: I don't even think that this lost period of my life is bad or destructive. I have very strong intuitive feelings that not only will I be successful, but I'll also be successful in a way that does not compromise who I am.

I went home to vote for Election Day, and my mom said something that stuck with me. We were talking about the parts of her personality that she feels that she has passed down to each of her children. Oftentimes I like to think that things like that are genetic in some way. I joked and said that I was the part of her that "likes trees," and she agreed. "You're the part of me that likes to take walks and look at trees and plant things, but you also have my love for eating...so you have to do what you need to do to survive." This statement is true. This statement also frustrated me for a few hours. It isn't new that my mom and I have this unspoken conflict between us that stems from me being so much like her and yet not wanting to lead the life she has lived. At this age, she had her first child and yet I sit here with an IUD that is only 2 years old. We are so much alike and yet our lives could not be taking more different paths, so it seems.

My most recent book has been A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It's made me think a lot about my relationship with my mother: the person I feel as though I have the most to prove to simply because she is also the one who seems to not see my success as it is at the moment. And then after I fell asleep that night after reading a section regarding the way the ego role-plays (i.e. the role of parent), I had a dream that she died. It made me feel a lot when I woke up in the morning. In the dream, I was heaving in grief; I had never doubted my love for my mother but I also couldn't help but notice how my love for her was always covered in a light layer of resentment that she could never just let me do me. Then, it dawned on me.

Eckhart Tolle does an amazing job at highlighting how shrouded parents get in their parental role as a label of who they are as a person. As we know, the ego is very strong in identity-politics and the countless need to give ourselves labels to legitimize the fact that we even exist. Very strongly do we know who our parents are as Mother or as Father, and even sometimes our siblings as well. How well do we know our parents as people though?

To the dismay of teenage and young-adult me, this fact never sat well. But I never took the time to really understand and navigate who she is as a person and not just as my mom. In this chapter, Tolle makes an incredible point that sometimes resentment is fostered in children-towards their parents-who otherwise have had successful lives because they were missing the opportunity to just have their parents be. All they want is to see their parent as being a person. That stuck with me a lot as I ruminated over how I was even going to be successful on my specific path. All my life I have been closed off and stubborn to the vulnerability that my mother sought to have with me both because she did not know how to go about it well and because I did not know how to go about receiving it. I like to think of myself as her hermit-crab child, the one who is much more closed off than the others and yet the softest on the inside. My mother is like a metaphorical lamp on my path through life that has always been notoriously dim to the point of me not being able to see where I am going. If I could just foster a vulnerable conversation with her to treat said lamp and brighten my path, not only is she brighter of a person but she can also help guide me (even if just through unconditional love and support of how I am choosing to live my life).

Beforehand, I was not ready for that.

It has taken a lot for me not to become frustrated at the same person who simply wants best for me, especially since she can see so much of herself in me, as do I see myself in her, but there are parts of her that I have never seen before that are surely also mirrored but need to be uncovered for the sake of fully knowing where to go from there. Those that birth us and precede us can tell us a miraculous amount of information about ourselves before we even reach that part of our spiritual work, but we have to be willing to stare confidently in the mirror and take them for all that they are. Oftentimes, I think about the generation of our parents and how desperately I can see that they just want to talk. They want someone to listen and open them up to the world that they never had or could understand because their parents had not only stifled themselves but their children out of survival and necessity. Had colonizers reached out to fully understand those that preceded them on the land that they came upon, hell, they wouldn't even be called colonizers anymore. They'd be called colleagues.

As the role of daughter, the egoic instinct is to rebel against any of the failures of my mother and her mother and her mother. I would be better off and much more successful if I just avoid their mistakes. What we neglect to realize, however, is that if in spirit we are all the cosmos and Oneness and the Universe experiencing itself, then those lessons are needed now more than ever or we will be doomed to repeat them. I think the ego does a good job of pointing fingers, even if we think that we are doing the "right" thing. I point fingers at my mother, shaming her for never truly understanding me and for burdening me with what mothers do: worrying, catastrophizing, and making sure that we are not them. But we are them. I am her. We are literally the same Being. In understanding more of my mother, I inherently understand more of myself. Not because I will find the missing secret to capitalize on the rest of my life and reach ultimate success, but instead to be more vulnerable and open to the fullness of life. Why keep hiding who we are, both mother and daughter, when we both know the answer?

I love my mother to death and there is never a time that I observe the ways that this egoic world has influenced and transformed the Truth for her without wanting to fix it. My heart constantly reaches out for understanding from her. I am also not responsible for her awakening. The best I can do is love. The best I can do is be a bridge and an expander of the depths of who she is as Joyce instead of just Mom. And in finally opening up, I clarify my soul to see a much better picture of who we are and who we ought to be: everything.

[stromuprisahat]

Genya was mentioned wearing slippers at least twice('…she looked down at her (satin?) slippers'; '…mud-splattered slippers') while the other characters like Tatiana and Alina wear boots. It would be interesting if Tatiana purposefully only gave Genya indoor slippers so she was stuck at the Grand Palace all the time. Like even if she was allowed to go to the Little Palace it's very hard for her to do it because she literally doesn't have the tools to be among her own kin. It would really highlight Tatiana's isolation and abuse of Genya.

While interesting concept, I think it's more about Genya's position of palace servant, than specific intentions regarding her person.

You don't need boots inside the Palace, and Genya's place is in Queen's service. She's even supposed to sleep in Grand Palace.

(Besides, I don't think Tatiana considers Grisha a community. I don't think she really thinks about them at all, unless they're in front of her salad.)

The Queen does have a party to attend that night. After I’ve changed my mud-spattered slippers and rid myself of the scent of the stables, I find her seated at her dressing table, a maid tending to her hair. ... When I bend to adjust the bows on her [the Queen's] slippers, she absently rests a hand on my shoulder—almost a caress, or maybe a scratch behind the ears. ... I wash my face, take down my hair, toe off my satin slippers so that I can feel the grooves of the cool wood floor beneath my feet.

The Tailor

So we know Tatiana is wearing slippers too. But so is Alina:

I threw off the heavy covers and slid my feet into the little fur-lined slippers set out by the bed. ... In the other boxes on my bed, we found golden silk slippers, glittering jet and gold earrings, and a thick fur muff. ... She examined the toes of her satin slippers.

Shadow and Bone- Chapters 8 & 14

Those are two occasions. Once when she's in her own room, once when she's preparing for the Winter Fete- celebration held inside the Palace. Otherwise she's wearing boots:

In a few moments, I was dressed in a clean tunic and trousers, soft leather boots, and a gray coat. With disappointment, I realized it was just a clean version of my army uniform.  ... When I opened the door, a servant was waiting with a stack of clothing, a pair of boots, and a dark blue kefta draped over her arm. ... But to call them boots didn’t seem right. I’d owned boots. These were something else entirely, made of the softest black leather and fitted perfectly to my calves.

Shadow and Bone- Chapters 6 & 8

Second Army has high-quality boots for every day, but boots nevertheless. Shoes to work and fight in.

Once more we see Alina in slippers:

If it had been winter, I would have been wearing boots, but I was in summer slippers and his fingers closed over my bare leg. 

Siege and Storm- Chapter 11

... when she's on Nikolai's election campaign, therefore in representative clothes, not battle-ready. Or running-ready.

And once more Genya- on the ship in second book she has true SA uniform:

She sighed and studied the toes of her boots. “I missed you,” she said.

Siege and Storm- Chapter 2

Which could mean she got them only once out of the Queen's influence, but also once she's out in the field.

There's also a mention of spring slippers Alina wore in the orphanage, so I assume those are ordinary light shoes for when you don't need to protect your feet too much.

Or when you're supposed to flaunt the fact you're not in need of solid footwear, either as a rich person, or their household servant (Genya, or even Grisha being showed-off once a year).

It's like making those in your service wear white adorned with gold. It shows you can afford to dress them that way, and they have it better than some ordinary peasants or no need to wear practical stuff (so it's a job to kill for).

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Seeing a black hole's jet in a new light

Research led by the University of Michigan has pored over more than two decades' worth of data from NASA's Chandra X-Ray Observatory to show there's new knotty science to discover around black holes.

In particular, the study looks at the high-energy jet of particles being blasted across space by the supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy Centaurus A. 

Jets are visible to different types of telescopes, including those that detect radio waves and others that collect X-rays. Since Chandra's 1999 launch, many astronomers have been particularly interested in the unexpectedly bright X-ray signals from jets.

Still, it appeared that X-ray observations were essentially capturing the same features as their more established radio counterparts, which isn't the most exciting outcome.

Jets are massive cosmic structures—some are larger than their host galaxies—that still harbor many mysteries. If a jet looks the same to different instruments, that doesn't do any favors for the folks working to unravel these astrophysical puzzles.

"A key to understanding what’s going on in the jet could be understanding how different wavelength bands trace different parts of the environment," said lead author David Bogensberger, a postdoctoral fellow at U-M. "Now we have that possibility."

The new study is the latest entry in a small but growing body of research that's digging deeper into data to spot subtle, meaningful differences between radio and X-ray observations.

"The jet in X-rays is different from the jet in radio waves," Bogensberger said. "The X-ray data traces a unique picture that you can't see in any other wavelength."

Bogensberger and an international team of colleagues published their findings in The Astrophysical Journal.

In its study, the team looked at Chandra's observations of Centaurus A from 2000 to 2022. Or, more accurately, Bogensberger developed a computer algorithm to do that. The algorithm tracked bright, lumpy features in the jet, which are called knots. By following knots that moved during the observation period, the team could then measure their speed.

The speed of one knot was particularly remarkable. In fact, it appeared to be moving faster than the speed of light because of how it moves relative to Chandra's vantage point near Earth. The distance between the knot and Chandra shrinks almost as fast as light can travel.

The team determined the knot's actual speed was at least 94% the speed of light. A knot in a similar location had previously had its speed measured using radio observations. That result clocked the knot with a significantly slower speed, about 80% the speed of light. 

"What this means is that radio and X-ray jet knots move differently," Bogensberger said.

And that wasn't the only thing that stood out from the data.

For example, radio observations of knots suggested the structures closest to the black hole move the fastest. In the new study, however, Bogensberger and his colleagues found the fastest knot in a sort of middle region—not the farthest from the black hole, but not the nearest to it either.

"There’s a lot we still don’t really know about how jets work in the X-ray band. This highlights the need for further research," Bogensberger said. "We've shown a new approach to studying jets and I think there's a lot of interesting work to be done."

For his part, Bogensberger will be using the team's approach to examine other jets. The jet in Centaurus A is special because it's the closest jet we know of at about 12 million light years away. This relative proximity made it a good first option for testing and validating the team's methodology. Features like knots become more challenging to resolve in jets that are farther away.

"But there are other galaxies where this analysis can be done," Bogensberger said. "And that's what I plan to do next."

[ghoulsstolemyheart]

Let Me Love You

Copia/fem reader, light angst, body worship, praise kink, blowjobs, anal fingering, pegging, light fem-dom, sub Copia

Papa doesn’t always feel great about himself, which is where you come in. Tonight, when you pull your beloved to bed, you will remind him exactly how much you love him.

3.5k words

“Cara mia, do you think I need some more work done?” 

Copia had been in the en suite for a while, the harsh fluorescent light highlighted the creases and wrinkles on his face as he stared himself down in the mirror. You frowned and pushed the covers back, climbing out of bed to stand in the bathroom doorway. He always got like this after a tour. For years he’d been the butt of the clergy’s jokes and he thought that they would stop after he became Papa. They didn’t. Then he got the surgeries and his concerns became more about whether or not the crowds found him more appealing.

The harsh chemical smell of his hair dye stung your nose even after he’d finished washing it out, the bottle sitting on the counter still radiating the ammonia smell. You watched him raise his eyebrows and study the lines on his forehead before pulling his hairline back in an attempt to smooth them out. He stretched the skin at his temples and watched his crows feet shift. It pained you to know he thought he had to get more procedures done for him to have any worth.

“A little botox couldn’t hurt, right?” His voice was quiet and there was a sadness to it that made your heart shatter.

“Copia, stop that. You don’t need anything done.”

He turned his head to meet your gaze, hands slowly moving away from his face to hang in the air in front of him. You took them in your own and turned him around to you properly.

“I just want to look my best, take care of myself, you know?” He trailed off as he looked back at his reflection but you reached up to hold his face so he was looking at you again.

“Listen to me, you don’t need to go under the knife every time you get in your own head about how you look. Remember how long it took you to get used to your face last time?”

Memories of him standing wide eyed in front of the bathroom mirror as he stared at his bruised and tender face, bandages removed a little too early by curious fingers. How he had winced the first time he touched his new nose, both from how tender it was and from the fact it didn’t feel like his anymore. He’d spent forty-odd years being told how much he looked like his mother, that he’d inherited her nose, now they looked nothing alike and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. You had found him staring at himself like that a few times, eyes following himself as he turned his head every which way so he could familiarise himself with it. One night, after a long day of especially cruel teasing from some of the siblings, you walked in on him staring himself down, tears streaming down his face as he braced himself against the sink. He sobbed into your shoulder, mourning his old identity and desperately wishing he hadn’t gone through with the surgery. You wouldn’t let him end up like that again.

“Forget what you think the clergy and the audiences want from you. Forget what you deem not good enough. What matters is that I love you, wrinkles and all.”

He sighed and relaxed into your touch, reaching up to gently hold your wrists.

“I know tesoro, I know.” There was that sadness again.

You leaned forward and began peppering his face with kisses, pressing your lips to every wrinkle and line you could find. Forehead, cheeks, the corners of his eyes, the lines around his lips from all the cigarettes over the years. You didn’t stop until he was a grinning giggling mess, the sound of his laughter devoid of any cynicism and instead just pure joy.

“Okay!” He laughed, “okay, amore, you’ve proved your point.”

“I don’t know, love, I think there’s a few that I’ve missed.” You mumbled between kisses, slowly moving your way from his laugh lines down to his jaw. One of your hands tangled in his hair and you tugged on it lightly, encouraging him to tip his head back and give you better access to his throat. You heard him breathe a shaky sigh and it made you a little weak in the knees. The knowledge that he was melting under your touch was almost too much for you. 

“Amore, you don’t have to worry about me.” Copia’s throat vibrated under your lips as he spoke and you managed to pull yourself away to look him in the eye.

“I love you, it’s my job to worry.”

You pressed a quick kiss to his lips followed by another and another until Copia’s tongue came out to lick across your bottom lip before sliding into your mouth. His hands had found their way to your waist, gently rubbing up and down your sides and making your pyjama shirt lift up, exposing your stomach to the chilly night air. The warmth of the fireplace didn’t quite reach the bathroom and you felt goosebumps come out across your skin.

Things were getting heated and you wanted to remind Copia that you were going to be the one pleasuring him tonight. You started to lean back and he followed your lips as you stepped backwards to the bed, hands in his hair as you guided him. He couldn’t help the little whine that escaped him when you pulled away for real, looking at you with pleading eyes as you swapped places with him, pushing him onto the mattress with a palm flat against his chest. You loved letting Copia take out his frustrations on you after a long day, but sometimes he needed to be on the receiving end.

He moved further up the bed, never taking his eyes off of you as you crawled towards him until you were straddling his hips and caging him into the mattress with your body. You almost melted when one of his hands cupped your cheek, the reverent way he looked up at you making your head spin.

“Cara mia-“

You cut him off with a finger against his lips.

“Let me show you how beautiful you are.” Your voice was barely above a whisper but you could tell by the look in his eyes and the way he nodded that Copia heard you loud and clear.

You started with more kisses, moving across from his lips to his jaw and down his neck where your mouth made him sigh as you sucked a mark into the skin. His hands rested comfortably on your hips and you couldn’t help noticing the way he held you against him, his cock starting to harden already from the way you touched him. Your own hands had been firm on his shoulders as you pinned him against the mattress, finally traveling down to slip under the hem of his t-shirt before you leaned back and started tugging it up over his torso revealing the trail of grey hair that drove you crazy. You rocked your hips a little as you moved back to let him sit up, helping you get the shirt over his head and flinging it across the room. Copia moaned into your mouth as you kissed him again, your arms wrapping around to hold him against you.

“These too,” you mumbled against his lips as you played with the drawstrings on his sweatpants, “these need to go.”

You climbed off of him for a moment so he could lift his hips and pull them off, freeing his semi and giving you a good look at the rest of his happy trail as it drew your eye down to his length. Copia blushed a little as you knelt at his feet and took in the sight before you, he loved the attention but he was too self conscious to believe that he deserved it sometimes.

“There, that’s better.” 

Copia looked up at you with more than a hint of embarrassment as you slid your hands up and down his shins.

“Can I see you too, amore?” He asked, his voice small and unsure as if it were your first time together all over again and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

You pulled your shirt up slowly and breathed a little laugh when you heard him stifle a moan when he finally saw your tits. Sometimes you couldn’t believe how worked up he got at just the sight of you, but then you would get the same way watching him perform, teasing that damn mic stand, and you understood.

By the time you were fully undressed, going nice and slow to give him the best view of everything you had to offer despite him knowing your body like the back of his hand, Copia’s cock was hard and glistening with precum. You began to slide your hands up his legs again, this time stoping at his knees as you gripped them and gently pushed them up as you urged his legs apart. He let out the most beautiful whimpers as you kissed your way up his inner thigh, mumbling against his skin about how much you loved those thighs, whining when you pulled away just before you reached the base of his cock.

“And you see this?” you said softly as you gestured to your own body, “this belongs to you, Papa. Only you.”

Copia groaned at your use of his title. It always sounded so lewd on your tongue, even when you weren’t in the bedroom the sound of it in your voice made him crazy. One of his hands moved down to palm at himself but you seized his wrist and pulled it away.

“Uh uh, no touching. I’m the one that’s doing all the touching tonight, remember?”

“Sì, sorella.” He sounded breathless as he sighed his words, completely infatuated with you as you knelt between his legs. You continued your teasing and grinned as you eked out more of those little noises from Copia, your fingers trailing up from his hips across his chest until you reached his nipples, pinching them and earning yourself a groan. He bucked his hips up into you, desperate for some kind of friction, and you could feel him spreading precum on your lower stomach with every thrust. Your hands shot back down to his hips and you pinned him to the mattress. Copia gave you a desperate little whine that made you want to tease him all night long. Anything to hear that noise again.

“Be patient,” you chided, “I want to appreciate every part of you. Thoroughly.”

Copia’s head fell back against the pillows as you began to press more kisses to his chest, following that line of hair down to his stomach. You knew how he felt about his stomach, always saying it stuck out too much when he would wear those beautifully tight suits. Personally, you had no idea where he got that from, but you understood how easy it was to hate your body when the people around you never had a kind word to say. He hid his face behind his arms, crossing them over his eyes and whimpering when you smoothed your hands up from his hips and over his stomach, kissing up from the base of his cock to his navel. You squeezed the little love handles above his hips for good measure. 

“I fucking love how soft you are.” You purred, stroking your thumbs across his hips.

“Amore, please.”

Copia was breathless at this point, taking in ragged gasps with every kiss and nip of your teeth as you made your way back to his thighs.

“And these fucking thighs,” you held the outside of his right thigh while pressing little kisses to the sensitive inner skin, completely ignoring how he begged you. “I could just sink my teeth into them.”

So you did. Copia whined above you and bucked his hips as you bit down, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a beautiful red-purple mark. You admired your work for a moment, tracing the slowly blooming bruise with the tip of a finger and making your lover squirm.

“Amore, I’m begging you, please!”

“Please what? You’re gonna have to be specific, love.” You ran the same finger tip up the underside of his cock, slowly, stopping just before you reached the tip.

“Please fuck me!” He gasped. “Oh, please amore, please.”

You smiled and pushed yourself up on your elbows to look at him, sweat beading on his forehead, and decided he had enough teasing. Taking his cock in your hand, you made eye contact with him before doing anything else.

“You look so pretty when you’re desperate.”

With that, you took the glistening tip into your mouth and swirled your tongue around it a few times, that desperate little whine escaping his lips again. It took every ounce of his willpower for Copia not to grab you by the hair and force himself down your throat. Instead, he fisted his hands in the sheets near his head, continuing with his whining as you slowly bobbed your head up and down, taking in more and more of him with each movement. One of your hands was wrapped firmly around his thigh, while the other reached down past his cock to tease his hole. He had begged you to fuck him, and you would take any opportunity given to you to use the strap-on in your bedside drawer. 

Copia squirmed when you made slow circles around his hole, still bobbing your head up and down his cock. You released him with a wet pop, only for a moment, swirling your tongue around your finger before bringing it back to his asshole. All you could hear was Copia’s long shuddering sigh as you pushed your finger into him while slowly taking his cock as deep as possible without gagging. He arched his back and stifled his moans with a fist between his teeth. The combined stimulation, especially when you started to slowly move in and out of him, was almost too much. You could tell he was trying so hard not to cum so soon. His breathing was deep and shuddering and you glanced up to see his face scrunched in the same frown he pulled when he was focusing on something, teeth locked on his hand and eyes screwed shut. You sunk down on his cock until he was against the back of your throat and moaned, cruel and yet so wonderfully stimulating, the vibrations in your throat made Copia groan. 

You gagged yourself, forcing him deeper than you knew you could handle, before coming up for air and resuming your ministrations. Copia started writhing beneath you, hips bucking wildly into your mouth as you brought him to his orgasm. 

“C-cazzo, amore!” He cried out as he released himself straight down your throat and you swallowed desperately, determined not to let a single drop of him escape you. You slowed your thrusts as he rode out the shockwaves of his orgasm, moving your hand lazily until he was a panting, whining mess.

“Thank you cara mia, ti amo.” He breathed as you kissed your way back up his body.

“I love you too, but I’m not finished yet.” 

“You’re not?”

You gave Copia a devilish smile before climbing off of him and crawling over to your side of the bed to dig around in your bedside cabinet. His eyes went wide as you pulled out your strap-on and a bottle of lube.

“Oh, cara,” he sighed, “you will be the death of me.”

You grinned and stepped off the bed, wrapping the harness around your hips and making sure it was secured tightly enough. Copia watched you walk around to the foot of the bed and beckon him to you with a finger.

“Come,” you instructed and he crawled towards you with a needy expression on his face. “Suck.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, wrapping his lips around the sleek black dildo and hollowing his cheeks. Copia always treated your toys as if they were a real part of your body, working them as you worked him and with just as much enthusiasm. He moaned around the silicone and you could feel yourself grow wetter at just the sight of him on his hands and knees for you, moaning with your strap in his mouth.

“Good boy, get it nice and wet.” You cooed. Your fingers carded through his tousled hair and he whined at the praise. 

Once you were satisfied, you pulled his head off of you with a hand twisted in his hair. Copia came away red faced and drooling. Such a beautiful sight. You had him lie back with his ass at the edge of the mattress, hands stroking up his thighs and encouraging him to open his legs further. Despite how wet he’d gotten your strap-on, you spread some lube over it for good measure, stroking it just to get Copia all hot and bothered.

With a single quick thrust, you sunk into Copia up to the hilt causing him to cry out your name in the most beautifully desperate voice.

“Much better than my fingers, huh?” You whispered in his ear and Copia nodded vigorously. “You deserve to feel good.”

You thrust into him again after that statement, making him lurch forwards and clutch at your arm while trying to hold himself up with the other hand. You braced yourself by grabbing hold of the canopy post beside you and started fucking your lover at a brutal pace. The harness rubbed against your throbbing clit and you moaned quietly. Copia looked so pretty as you pounded into him, oversensitive and blushing, and you made sure he knew it. You cupped his cheek and told him how much you loved him, how good it felt to fuck him, how beautiful he looked arching his back for you. Every word that fell from your lips was like ambrosia, nourishing Copia’s bruised ego and reassuring him that, yes, you did indeed love him and no, none of it was a lie or some cruel trick. You hunched over to plant your hands either side of him on the bed, scrunching the delicate silk sheets in your fists as you fucked into him even harder, grinding against the harness to get as much friction on your end as possible. Copia had started to get hard again from your pounding and his erection bounced against his stomach with the force of your relentless thrusts. 

You couldn’t help yourself. The sight of his cock already hard again and glistening with precum was just too enticing. Copia gasped as you took hold of him, stroking while you continued to thrust into him.

“Look at you, so irresistible. I can’t keep my hands off you.”

“Hng- amore, amore I don’t think I can last much longer.” He panted. You felt your own orgasm swiftly approaching, so easily coming undone at the sight before you.

“Don’t hold back, my love. Show me what I do to you.”

You jerked him even faster, your thumb firmly rubbing over his slit before each downstroke and making his back arch even further, providing the perfect angle for you to hit that sweet spot inside him. He began to spasm, hips thrusting up into your fist, and soon enough he was cursing at the top of his lungs as he came across your hand and stomach. But you didn’t slow down. You still had to finish. 

Copia’s whines grew even more desperate as you continued to fuck into him, rolling your hips as you ground against the harness. You joined him as you felt the white hot pleasure burning in your stomach, moaning with each spark of stimulation. When you finally came you struggled to hold yourself upright, doubling over as you gripped Copia’s thighs. 

You pulled out of him with a slick pop and unclipped the harness before crawling onto the bed with him, pulling Copia into your arms as you leaned back against the headboard.

“Thank you, amore.” Copia said again, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. You smiled and played with his hair as you held him.

“You don’t have to thank me every time, Copia.”

“I’m not thanking you for the sex, as good as it was.” He lifted his head to look at you. “I’m thanking you for staying with me. For loving me even when I do not love myself.”

You reached out to cup his cheek and pull him into a soft, sentimental kiss.

“I’ll always love you. For the rest of my life, no matter what.” Your words were almost lost between you as you spoke against Copia’s mouth. You could feel him smiling as he pressed another kiss to your lips before tucking his head back into your neck where he stayed for the rest of the night.

[angstyfandom]

"I hope find happiness with me."

So like, I was writing a pt 2 to my Simeon smut for the brothers and I got 4 of the brothers parts done and it was great and I was proud...and I accidentally deleted it so I'm crushed and idk if I can do it all over again so sorry if that never comes

Bro I need some Satan fluff in my life right now. I can't remember which event it was but stuff was happening to the brothers, some kind of curse or smth, and Satan's first reaction is to make sure we are okay, like bro loves us so much. My angry boy needs some softness.

Summary: Satan needs to wake you up because he had agreed to tutor you for RAD's final exams, but you aren't to keen on leaving bed quite yet.

Warnings: None. Super fluffy, giggling and twirling of hair ensue.

Satan never really enjoyed giving up his study time to help his brothers, but you weren't his brothers. You were like this small kitten, in need of assistance and he would always cave. A few days prior you had approached Satan and requested that he help you study a bit more for the exam that Diavolo had thrown upon you and the other exchange students.

Unfortunately both of your schedules were very busy with the school year ending, so the study session had to start before and after school. You are not a morning person by any means. You're similar to Belphie in the way you stay glued to your sheets, and yet here Satan is, bright and early, in your room. His solemn expression spoke volumes, watching you curl further into your blankets, hearing his footsteps enter your room. You looked so peaceful and warm, he didn't want to wake you.

He couldn't stop himself from staring at your shaded figure, the sunrise peeking in through your curtains. The way the soft orange and red light laid gently upon your features made his heart skip a beat. He swiftly knocked himself out of the small enchantment you had put over him and approach your bed, his hand gliding over your shoulder, gently shaking you to wake up.

Satan felt the warmth spread to his cheeks as your sleepy eyes opened to gaze up at him. Nothing could have made his chest flutter the way seeing you smiling at him did, first thing in the morning, floating on the cusp of sleep. He was the first thing you saw, and your smile resonated with how content you were with that fact.

He couldn't stop himself from gently moving your messy hair from your face, to see you more clearly "You need to wake up, you're the one who asked me to study, now, don't make it so I got out of bed for nothing." Satan's low voice rang in your ears but you were so comfortable. The whimper that escaped from your lips, that followed his attempt to wake you, left a conflicting feeling Satan's stomach. You buried yourself further into the blankets, as if the blonde demon wasn't even there. You heard a deep sigh escape his throat before he lifted the side of your blanket and poked his head in.

"MC...."

"Join me then...." You murmured, catching the poor boy off guard. "W-What? Oi, Don't just say things like that!" Satan remarked, defensively. "Sataaan~" you whined tiredly, patting the empty space next to you on the bed. "If you don't want to have gotten out of bed so early for nothing, then just join me in here...studying...wait." You yawned, yanking weakly at his sweater. You were surprised to feel the bed bouncing lightly and a warm figure taking its place next to you. You felt Satan's arm wrap underneath you, pulling you closer to his chest, his chin resting against the top of your head.

You sleepily gazed up at him with a wicked smile on your lips "See? Not...so hard..." You yawned, placing a lazy kiss onto his cheek. Satan seemed tense from the kiss, his cheeks still a dark shade of red, highlighting his flustered state. In the moment it was working but he does realize you had been messing with him from the beginning and had no intentions of getting out of bed.

As if he felt a burst of courage, he comfortably rested his body against yours, gently cupping your cheeks and placing a long, hard kiss on your lips. This intimate display of affection was unexpected and uncharacteristic of Satan to do something in the spur of the moment. Not that's he's always calculated but he takes great care to have control over what and when it happens.

Now you were awake and alert, the kiss leaving a warm fluttering in your chest, you're cheeks were now red. Satan seemed satisfied with his work and buried his face into the crook of your neck, snoozing until Lucifer came to drag you to breakfast. Bastard..

[glamourgoreandmuchmore]

welcome to the blog! here’s a little about the blog and it’s author! 💋

hey guys! i’m beyond delighted to welcome you to my blog, i’m looking forward to showing you all the future content i have in store.

the blog

the title explains a lot for me here!

if google has the answer to everything, why am i always struggling to find exactly what i want? maybe i’m looking for a very specific book recommendation, a time stamp in a real housewives of beverly hills episodes, and often times, i’m trying to find factual and fun news, not competitive, untrue and boring news.

this blog is my way of sharing my expertise knowledge on all the random topics that have piqued my interest over the last few years, my experience through teenage years leading into early adulthood, books, shows and movies that you all need to experience one time in your life to consider it a life well lived.

i look forward to giving advice, sharing my own experiences to help you lot learn from my mistakes and straight up embarrassing moments.

the title of the blog highlights the basis of the blog, glamour being all things pretty, pink and reality tv in life. ( get ready for a lot of real housewives drama ) i plan to tell all my self learnt tips when it comes to travelling, boyfriends, girlfriends, school work, parents ( ugh ) and everything in between. think of me as a fairy godmother sent with the sole purpose of helping you all through your problems and even non problems

the gore, i do have to admit i chose the word gore simply because it created a catchy title, but that doesn’t mean i won’t include it. the gore i speak of in the title is what i played on in my intro, here i plan to keep all of my lovely readers updated with the current factual news, typically crime and court news ( you’ll see why in my about me section further down ) i aim to keep everyone updated on the current and important news, making sure that everything on this blog is 100% factual and as helpful as it can be

the much more, as i mentioned earlier, my life experiences and interests through the years have left me with valuable experience in many ways, socially, intellectually and especially emotionally, if i do say so myself, i would have to toot my own horn and say that i am a master of emotions, i aim to teach you all the ways i have learnt to process emotion and how to use it in the right way to benefit you. here i also intent to give advice, tell my stories, answer questions and most importantly, recommend.

about the author

so, about me, i’m a 20 year old woman studying at university, my course links closely with court and crime ( i’m sure you can take a guess of what it is ) so that explains my gore section of this blog.

although i am 20, i have lived a life full of experiences and lessons, this is part of the reason i started this blog in fact. you will learn a lot more about me through the blog, through my stories and advice.

music, animals, nature, friends and family ( more importantly, friends who are family ) are the key factors in my life, they’re all i need to maintain my positive and healthy outlook on life. i wasn’t always this way, i have grown and taught myself how to see the world in a better light, and how to look for the positive parts in my day, i’m beyond excited to share this with you guys and hopefully help some of you out too. i’ll leave my about me at that so you guys can learn as you read,

thanks for sticking with me

thank you for reading this post, it really does mean a lot!

remember this is my blog, but it is all about you guys, please don’t hesitate to message me about posts you’d like to see, stories you’d like to hear, problems you have that you’d like me to give advice on ( everything’s anonymous don’t you worry )

i’m looking at putting together a form that you guys can submit your problems to, i plan to post one advice post per week! looking forward to talking to you guys

- 💋