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pearlsandpemberly · 1 year ago

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shared breath - levi x reader (18+)

Summary:

Levi's last chance at life allows him to love her the way he's always wanted to.

Genre: Light Smut, Established Relationship, Romantic Fluff

POV: Third Person, f!reader

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51501670

Note: This can be read as a follow-up to my other fic 'until then', but can be read on its own.

“Do you need help?”

Levi doesn’t look at her, hands still occupied with his shirt buttons. “I haven’t lost all my fingers now, have I?” is his quiet response.

He hears her walk closer to him and exhales softly through the nose when she places a hand on the back of his neck. “You and I both know you could still kill a man with your eye shut – I also know that you usually undress yourself a lot faster than you’re doing now.”

Levi shrugs a shoulder, hands coming back down to his lap. They are ensnared with the slightest of tremors – a rarity, despite everything his body has endured. He curls his fingers inward, clenching his fists.

She doesn’t move, threading her own fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. The familiarity of her touch still affects Levi as it has always done, the shiver up his spine as prevalent as it was when he first took her hand in his. He tips his head back slightly, leaning into her touch.

“Do it,” he says. “Please.”

“Ah, manners.” She comes around, kneeling in front of his chair. “So easy to forget that you know what they are.”

Levi huffs but finds his words lost when her hands come to finish the job he barely started, the pads of her fingers brushing against the cotton of his white shirt. He looks at her in a simple white nightgown, the small straps of lace kissing both of her collarbones. Her face is illuminated by the warm glow of the candlelight and once again Levi finds his mouth drying up, feeling his heart thud a little faster as she exposes more of his chest. Her expression morphs, a shy smile forming on her lips. As her cheeks darken, Levi’s do too, as he realises she can feel his pulse quickening.

Her movements slow as she comes to the bottom of his shirt and he sees that her hands are slightly unsteady as she pulls the fabric out of the waistband of his trousers. It is something she has done for Levi countless times before, and yet…

The thickness of the air grows as she looks up to him, tilting her head to the side. “I’ll leave you to do the rest,” she says quietly, raising herself off the floor, ready to step back.

Levi takes a hold of her wrist, keeping her in place. “Have I shown you what this new chair can do?”

She shakes her head, smoothing her gown.

Although his hands are still unstable, Levi turns to the side of his chair, pulling at several mechanisms until the left arm disconnects from the chair. He places it down and moves to the right side, repeating the process. When he’s done, Levi looks to her to see her raised eyebrows and intrigued smile.

“Was this Onyakopon’s idea?” she asks.

Levi swallows and takes a hold of her hand again. “It was mine.”

One of her eyebrows raise a little higher. “Yours?”

He nods. “There was something I wanted to be able to do,” he whispers.

She understands without him having to say more, but she waits for him to pull her closer before she straddles Levi, hitching her legs and settling cautiously onto his lap. Her hands find their usual place on his chest and his come to settle on her waist, squeezing her gently.

The warmth of her body stokes the hunger building up within Levi and his hesitation begins to dissipate. Her sweet smile and shining eyes only makes him want more of it, more of her.

She shuffles further up his thighs, skirt bunching up so her own are beginning to show. Her breath fans shakily over Levi’s lips and her eyes flicker down to glance at his bare skin.

He taps her side gently. “Distracted?” he teases, though it comes out a little hoarse.

“Can you judge me?” she responds, looking back up to him.

“I do, only because this is not a new sight for you.”

She flicks his sternum playfully. “I know, I know. I just…”

As her fingers cling onto his shirt, Levi leans in and kisses her.

Although it is another thing that is not new, the flame that ignites within the pair touches them with the same sharpness that it always does. His hands run up her back and shoulder blades, pulling her flush against him, intoxicated and entranced by the beautiful being that he can call his. When she sighs against his mouth, his fingers flex, moving down to grab onto her plush hips, willing her to move just a little – and when she does, Levi lets out his own muffled sound of relief.

Bliss is not easy to come by, despite living in the most peaceful era of his entire life, but whenever she’s with him, he’s a step closer.

The candlelight flickers, the heat builds, and the world blurs as they lose themselves in their own private universe sealed within these four walls. Their sounds become less controlled and their movements become more bold: Levi comes to run his hands up and down her soft thighs, fingers splayed; she tickles the sides of his ribs as she pushes her hips down against his, furrowing her brow with restrained desire. They’re waves in the ocean, pushing and pulling in sync, their emotions ebbing and flowing alongside each other with practised ease; and yet it is unique, somewhat in unchartered waters, and the thrill of anticipation mingles nicely with their shared adoration.

Levi is the first to pull back, though not too far; their eyes meet and it takes all he has not to pull her as close to him as he possibly can. Her pupils are dilated, her cheeks red, her chest heaving, her lips slightly swollen. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and he places a thumb on it, taking a hold of her chin.

“I want to make love to you.”

The hitch of breath that escapes her mouth would have made Levi smile if he weren’t so nervous. He rubs a circle into her upper thigh, only just glancing the skin under where her skirt ends.

“Are you sure?” she asks when she finds her voice, gaze fixed on his good eye.

“I am,” Levi affirms. “Only if you would like to.”

She doesn’t need to think, but she takes pause, scanning his expression. When she comes to hold onto his wrist, Levi notes that her fingers are trembling – she is just as nervous as he is.

After a moment more, she nods. “Yes – please.”

If Levi were still in the state where he could pick her up and take her to the bed, he would do it that instant. However, it’s not going to be that easy, and whilst there’s no rush, he wants it so badly that he can’t quite help the quick swiftness in which he pulls her back towards him, letting out a groan when their kiss deepens almost instantly. Her own desperation shows in how she wraps her arms around his neck, their chests pressed together, a whine trapped in her throat. Their mutual desire becomes more pronounced by the second and Levi wills it not to be over before it’s begun, though it is hard to concentrate on that when she is everywhere.

This time, it is her who breaks away, placing one hand over his heart. “Would you like to move to the bed?” she murmurs, tone tentative but buzzing with eagerness.

Levi nods a little too vigorously, but he is not embarrassed.

Though walking any distance is greatly difficult – and some days next to near impossible – his legs decide to cooperate with him, though he still needs her to help him stand. Her hand holds his tightly, arm bent ready if he needs to support himself further. Together, they move slowly towards the wooden bed; she lets Levi brace himself as they reach the side and he crawls onto the mattress, coming to sit in the centre. She pauses before he tugs on her wrist with playful impatience, patting the space between his legs – she clambers carefully onto the bed, coming to sit in the gap, legs hooked over Levi’s, facing each other again. Levi takes his time admiring her, running his hands along her arms and shoulders, coming to play with one of her nightgown straps.

The couple can communicate through stares alone, but tonight is different. “May I?”

“Yes.”

The lace falls easily from her shoulder, resting halfway down her upper arm. Though it barely exposes anything new, the picture of her naked shoulders connecting to her neck lights something anew within Levi. Carefully, oh so carefully, he pulls her a little closer so he doesn’t have to strain – his lips caress her collarbones with a feather-light touch, grazing her skin gracefully as he listens to her, watching how her head tips back and how her chest rises and falls a little quicker. He can feel her burning underneath the thin material of her nightgown, her body yearning for him and only him.

As he trails up the column of her neck, leaving soft kisses and a delicate bite, she gasps out, hands tugging on this open shirt. “Can I take this off?”

Levi doesn’t reply, instead shrugging the cotton off, lips never leaving her skin. She helps, removing his shirt and pushing it warily onto the floor, though Levi is past the point of caring about it getting dirty or wrinkled. The way her soft hands dance over his chest, shoulders, and abdomen causes his concentration to slip, a noise of want escaping past his teeth.

In slow movements of clothes being removed, broken up by hushed questions and affirmations, Levi lies down naked, any self-consciousness slipping away as she lies next to him as exposed as he is, her gaze still fixed upon his face. A sight that is not unfamiliar but illuminated in a different context only opens Levi up to how he can love and appreciate her in so many different ways, and that privilege almost brings tears to his eyes. Her own are slightly glassy, and she moves his hair away from his face before kissing him again.

Their bodies press together, their hands exploring each other with cautious care as the warmth of the room encases them, the tenderness and sensuality clouding their minds and burning pleasantly under their skin as they come closer together still. An age passes before they find purchase on the most intimate parts of each other, but they’re in no rush – too many things are new in order to rush.

Both of them are trembling as they begin to learn how to make the other come undone – Levi, an Ackerman, always one who can do everything perfectly first try, has to fight off his doubt, concentrating on her alone. Every sound she makes, every furrow of her brow, every twist of her body sears into his memory and he chases that pleasure alone, the pleasure he derives from this sight being his to see, this experience being theirs to share. A sheen of perspiration layers over her skin and it enamours him. She watches him just as closely, smiling against his mouth whenever he grunts or hisses with gratification, whispering words of devotion and praise that travels straight through him and makes his face grow even hotter. When her name tumbles from his lips, she moans and it’s a melody that Levi wants to hear over and over again.

Everything keeps blurring at the edges and blood roars so loudly in Levi’s ears that time escapes him entirely and their actions become instinctual, and their bodies are moving and they’re whispering one more question to each other before his eyes fly open to see her atop of him, nails digging into his chest and eyes screwed shut. He holds onto her hips so tightly that he’s sure it will bruise her, but he can’t stop himself because they’re the closest two humans can possibly be and he might let go, and god he never wants to let her go.

It's slow and careful and hot and messy. The melding of their bodies from their connected lips to their flushed chests to their stirred sexes fall into a somewhat cohesive rhythm together, but neither worry themselves when they fall out of sync. They pant and moan with abandon, their tongues touching as they kiss each other senseless, both lost in the heat and emotion of everything. Levi feels himself slipping closer to a precipice and he wills himself to cling on a little longer, his fingers grabbing hold of any part of her he can find so he can keep himself there.

When she brings him to sit up with her, Levi wraps his arms around her middle and uses all his strength to help her move, leaving messy kisses over her breasts and not caring about how he’s beginning to lose control. Though his exhaustion, he pushes his hips up to meet her and almost falls over the edge when she cries out and tugs on his hair. He keeps it up, trailing a hand up to cup the back of her head, connecting their foreheads together, her gorgeous eyes staring straight back into his. Her name tumbles from Levi’s lips and then it doesn’t stop, the syllables tripping over themselves again and again as they guide each other to the edge of the precipice together.

And the light dulls because nothing shines as brightly as she does – they unravel together, a miniscule supernova exploding between them as they lose their breath in a fleeting moment that now only exists in their memories. All she can do is babble incoherently as she comes apart on top of him, her limbs becoming heavy as their movements slow.

And her name is all Levi can say, a song that is stuck on repeat, a sweet symphony that devolves into a choked refrain as tears stream down his cheeks and his throat seizes up. His lips find hers, and they are wet and sticky, but she doesn’t pull away as she clings to him tighter than before .

They stay like this for a time, catching their breaths and gazing at each other, rooting themselves in the seconds that they never thought they would get to have.

Pain and fatigue begins to weigh Levi down as the high slips away from him, but as always she is aware. She pulls away eventually, albeit reluctantly, and begins to make their space ready for rest, wiping him and then herself with a damp cloth, bringing him clean sleeping clothes, and moving to blow out the candles sans the one on their bedside. All the while, Levi watches her, the smallest smile on his face.

When she climbs into bed next to him, Levi wastes no time in taking her into his arms once more, coming to cup her face and kissing her cheeks one at a time. She chuckles, dipping her head as if she’s shy, and all of the love he holds for her increases tenfold. He tells her so and her cheeks go redder than they’ve done all night, just like they always do when he says it.

“I love you too. So much.”

She falls asleep before he does, just like always, and although Levi has no need to memorise every detail of her lovely face, he still watches her until his eyelids betray him. Only once does he wake up that night, and it’s to the sensation of her placing the gentlest kiss over his blind eye, a gesture so tender that Levi for the first time believes that perhaps when they die and their spirits move on, that they will find each other there again.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #aot #levi smut #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi x fem!reader #shingeki no kyojin

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smallestapplin · 7 months ago

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aaaaaa i just saw that you take stardew reqs!! i've been following for a bit but i NEVER get your posts on my dash i stg,,,

may i request some cuddles and reassurances for shane? i can't fix him but i want to just hold him and pretend I can,, can be platonic or romantic, up to you!

I love Shane, cause I'm depressed and self destructive too mf now get over here so I can hug you-

Romance is hinted and it's mutual but neither have confessed.

TW : just Shane having some self deprecating thoughts but nothing serious.

Shane has been doing much better in the months following when you found him drunk by the cliff side, you two have grown closer allowing you to watch how therapy continues to improve him.

Some days are better than others, but you're so proud of the improvements he's been making. But even then he still has some bad days, and those are the days he doesn't want you to see.

He feels so tired, so worthless, so useless, all he can do is lay in bed and rot.

He's watched his clock tick from 8am to 12pm to 5pm and so on, he just doesn't have the energy to get up, the fight he had been carrying just feels like a burden now.

He had been doing so good to, he's sure you'd be disappointed in him for slipping into a depressive state like this. Shane is so lost in his head he doesn't hear his bedroom door open or close, but he dos feel his bed side dip at the newly added weight.

But he doesn't bother looking up, afraid he may start crying, which is all the more likely when you so tenderly brush his hair from his face.

"Rough day today?" You ask, though you know the answer.

You smile at him, even as he finally looks at you with tear filled green eyes. Even now, you still look at him with such care and warmth, what did he ever do to deserve you?

You kick your boots off and lay down behind him, curling up against him with your face buried into the back of his neck and your arms around his waist. You know he will tell you when he is ready, but for right now you just want to distract him from his pain.

"You know my chickens missed you today, Jopeep was not happy when I was the one trying to give her pets, made this clucking sound that i swear sounded like she was sassing me."

You chuckle, your smile growing when Shane gives a small snort.

"And then Eggatha, bless her, hopped on my shoulder like she usually does, but kept looking around like a bird on a mission."

He can almost imagine your day with your flock, your chickens have always had such personalities it was a delight.

"I misssed you too, I was worried when you didn't stop by or answered my text, I figured you were sleeping. But I did bring over some stuffed peppers for you."

You sound so happy, like you don't mind being here with him while he's like this.

"You don't have to do all this." His voice is rough and gravely from not being used all day today, but it sounds so weak.

"I know, you make it sound like I do all this out of some obligation. You do know I do all this because I want to, right? You deserve some peace and joy, you've been through enough."

You're doing all this because you want to.

You help him practice the coping skills and thought processes his therapist has given him, because you want to.

You cook his favorite dishes because you want to.

There is no needing to.

There is no feeling pity and doing these things.

You want to.

"I like having you around, it's fun having you over at the farm and I get to see how many starws of hay I can put in your hood before you notice, I like our inside jokes, I like our time together, I like you and your company, even if you can't see it, it's there."

His body trembles, leaving him shaking like a leaf as he tries to hold back the tears that are already falling down his cheeks.

"But why, I'm not..." he trails off, letting out a choked sob, but that doesn't stop you.

"Healing takes time, it's a slow process and there will be days or times you slip back, to take a few steps back, but you're still working on it, you are still trying to change for the better. And i don't know if you have noticed, but even in two months of therpay you have changed, you seem happier, you seem livelier. You will always have rough days or even rough weeks, but that doesn't mean you're a failure."

Shane can't stop the sobs that leave him, he finds himself flipping around to hug you, buring his face into your shoulder to let it all out. You hold him tightly, gently shushing him and reminding him to breathe.

"I will be here no matter what."

You know your love won't fix his pain, but you know your support can help him feel more confident about going about it.

You want to tell him you love him, that you adore him and his dry sense of humor, that his gentleness with the chickens and Jas make your heart swell.

But maybe you will wait a few more months and see how he is feeling.

You know he means the world to you, even as he cries himself to sleep in your arms after muttering 'thank you's over and over again.

He deserves a safe place to feel happy.

And you want to be that for him.

#sdv shane #sdv Shane x reader #Stardew valley Shane #Stardew valley Shane x reader #stardew valley x reader #comforting

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ofthemorningstars · 4 months ago

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Movie Night (kabukiaku AU)

TerzoMega ~ Smut below the cut

2.1k words

Ao3 Version

Based on the character depictions of Terzo and Omega that have been lovingly crafted by @kabukiaku , thank you so much for allowing me to create something based off of your characters, and for giving me guidance and insight along the way! They truly are so special to me, and writing them has been such a fun process!

If you enjoy this story, check out her other socials too!

kabukiaku's Ao3

kabukiaku's Ko-fi

Omega is ready for date night with Terzo. Or is he?

---

Omega fidgeted in front of the door to Terzo’s chambers. He scanned his surroundings, making sure he hadn’t been spotted. Clutching the bouquet of roses in his hand a little tighter, he steeled himself and made his first tentative knock, wondering idly when the butterflies would still. Deep down, he knew they wouldn’t.

Terzo wasted no time in answering, greeting him with a dazzling smile. Omega’s stomach did a backflip.

“Ciao bello,” Terzo greeted him warmly, taking a moment to look him up and down. “Aren’t you looking dashing tonight,” he assessed, approving of Omega’s powder pink sweater vest and dark grey slacks. Terzo stood on his toes expectantly, Omega leaning down to allow a kiss to the cold metal cheek of his mask.

“Come in, come in. Put your things down,” Terzo said, ushering him inside and taking the flowers with a playful bow. Omega obliged, setting his bag by the door. He’d needed to stop by his own chambers before their date; even though he practically lived at Terzo’s at this point, he had needed to refresh his ever-growing wardrobe that was accumulating in Terzo’s closet. Omega shuffled his feet, waiting awkwardly for Terzo to come back with a vase. Omega still needed him to take the lead, even after all this time. After a moment Terzo returned, carefully arranging the flowers before taking his hand and drawing him to the sitting room.

“Sit, sit. Make yourself comfortable,” Terzo instructed, letting his hand slide up Omega’s arm, lingering at his shoulder for a moment. Omega did as he was told, settling down at one end of Terzo’s plush purple suede sofa, propping himself up on an armrest. He watched as Terzo fussed with his beloved Stella, the antique projector that was his most prized possession; tonight was movie night. When he had selected a film and successfully set everything up, he beamed at Omega before shutting off the lights.

“You’re in for a treat tonight, my darling ghoul,” Terzo said as he took his seat at the other end of the sofa, curling his legs up under himself. “We’re watching The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. A true piece of cinema history. I think that you will love it.”

Omega felt himself begin to relax more as the images flickered before him. He wondered why date nights always set his heart to fluttering; for all intents and purposes, they lived together, after all. But there was just… something about the formal nature of calling it a date. It was something that Omega had never really done before, not until he met Terzo. Terzo was different. He was special. He made Omega want to step outside of his comfort zone. To learn.

Terzo drifted closer and closer as the film progressed, spouting facts about the movie and its production all the while, and when his head finally came to rest on Omega’s shoulder, it was a welcome relief. Omega wrapped his arm around Terzo’s much smaller frame and pulled him snugly against his body. Terzo let out a little sigh.

When the film was over, they sat in silence for a few long moments, content in each others arms.

“So, what did you think, amore?” Terzo asked, running a hand across Omega’s chest. Omega was grateful that the growing blush across his cheeks was concealed behind his mask. He swallowed hard before clearing his throat.

“I enjoyed it. I felt like the themes were very reflective of the time it was made in, yet still timeless.” He really had been listening intently to Terzo’s impromptu lesson. He always did, and he wanted to affirm to Terzo that he hadn’t been just talking to himself. “I can see many similarities to the more modern-day films you’ve shown me. It must have been very influential.”

Terzo looked pleased, rewarding Omega with a peck on the forehead of his mask as he went to stand up. “My my, you are such a quick learner, mia ombra.” Omega grinned.

They ended the night as they often did, with Terzo’s favorite, Metropolis. This time when Terzo returned to the sofa, he resumed his previous position, nestling firmly into Omega’s side. Omega hummed, content. Throughout the movie Omega found himself stealing longing glances at the human tucked beneath his arm, lost in the comfort of his warmth and weight and hanging on his every word as he continued to talk about what they were watching. He was enraptured. Omega would happily watch this film every night for the rest of his life if it meant that he got to hear this passion in Terzo’s voice. The film ended too soon, as always, and again they sat together in the quiet darkness.

Terzo turned to nuzzle his face into Omega’s chest, inhaling deeply, breathing in his scent, his hands beginning to wander. When Terzo’s fingers teased their way under the hem of Omega’s shirt and began sliding up his stomach, Omega’s breath hitched.

“Grazie, mio caro. I know you have seen that one many times. It is just the perfect way to end a date, don’t you agree?” Terzo said, looking up at Omega through lowered lashes.

“Y-yes. It’s, uh… It’s an excellent portrayal of class divide. Really speaks to those at the bottom. To searching for a better tomorrow…” Omega stammered before trailing off as Terzo’s hand grazed his pecks. His face was getting hot.

“Mmm, you are such a good listener.” Terzo craned his face up to place a kiss to Omega’s neck, then another, trailing his way up to the edge of Omega’s mask. He climbed onto Omega’s lap, tongue snaking out to take a lick up Omega’s thoat. Omega let his head fall back as Terzo began to move his hips, gently grinding down on him. Omega felt himself stir, repressed excitement that had built up all throughout the night bubbling to the surface.

Terzo’s hands resumed their explorations under Omega’s shirt before going to lift it from the bottom. Terzo’s eyes met his questioningly, asking for permission. Unable to find his voice, Omega nodded enthusiastically. Terzo’s answering smile made Omega’s heart skip a beat. Terzo removed Omega’s sweater vest and shirt in one go, being careful not to displace his mask when lifting it over his head. Omega sighed as the growing heat that had been trapped began to dissipate. Terzo’s hands greedily roamed the now-freed flesh, making stops along the way to tease, to tangle in the soft white hair he found there. His mouth reversed its course back down Omega’s neck, trailing licks and soft kisses down his chest. Terzo’s tongue swirled around a nipple and Omega tried and failed to bite back a moan, his breath echoing harshly in his mask. Terzo released him with a gentle smacking sound, looking up at him with hooded eyes.

“Would you like one more show before the night is over?” Terzo purred. Omega nodded, unsure of what Terzo was planning but eager to find out.

Terzo rose to his feet, slowly unbuttoning his shirt as he fixed Omega with a sultry stare. Terzo was close enough that their knees touched. He shrugged the garment from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. His hands trailed down his own chest now, his stomach, teasing just under the waist of his pants. Terzo undid his belt, then his trousers, revealing a pair of black lace panties, the fabric straining against his erection. Those he took his time with, sensually sliding them inch by painful inch down long, shapely legs. By the time Terzo stood naked before him, save for his socks and garters, Omega’s own pants were painfully tight. Omega shifted in his seat, hands itching to touch but keeping patiently to themselves.

Terzo guided Omega into lying down on his back, fitting as much of his tall frame as he could on the sofa. Terzo straddled him, moving to undo Omega’s belt. He shimmied Omega’s pants down his hips, leaving his underwear on. Terzo cupped and rubbed Omega through the thin fabric, lingering at the growing wet spot sticking to Omega’s skin. Omega whimpered, hands drifting up above his head.

“Si. Mio amato monstro, always such a good listener,” Terzo cooed at Omega, leaning down to place a kiss where his mouth would be. Omega wished he’d taken off his mask, wished that he could kiss Terzo back, but with the way Terzo’s hand felt on him, he couldn’t have found the strength to remove it if he tried. Terzo began to move his hips rhythmically, his precum-wet cock gliding across the fabric of Omega’s underwear. Omega groaned.

Terzo’s hands teased beneath Omega’s waistband before dipping down below, pulling him free. Omega winced a little at the contact, overstimulated from the previous friction through the cloth. Terzo began stroking him with one hand, cradling his balls with the other. He bent down to run his tongue up Omega’s shaft, stopping to suck gently on his tip. Terzo touched himself, too excited by the noises Omega was making to wait. He fit as much of Omega as he could into his mouth and began to bob, Omega writhing beneath him. The room was beginning to spin.

Terzo pulled away to catch his breath, sitting up and leaning back on a palm, resuming pumping himself, his mismatched eyes boring into Omega.

“You like what you see, amore?” Terzo said with a chuckle as a fresh drip of precum slowly trailed its way to Omega’s stomach. Indeed, he quite enjoyed what he saw. He must be a sight himself, he thought, sweaty and flushed and foggy as he was now.

Terzo leaned forward, rubbing their cocks together, and began to grind. One of Terzo’s hands found Omega’s above his head, fingers twining together. Omega’s free hand slid up Terzo’s thigh until it found its place on Terzo’s ample ass, squeezing firmly. Terzo’s mouth once more found a nipple and Omega threw his head back with an unrestrained moan. Terzo began caressing Omega’s chest, his belly, his hip, before reaching down to rub his inner thigh. Whimpering pitifully, Omega tangled his fingers in Terzo’s hair. His tail wound its way around Terzo's leg, needy. He wanted so badly to pull Terzo’s face down to meet his for a kiss, again cursing his lack of forethought.

When Terzo began to ride him faster, Omega let his arm fall uselessly to the sofa, fighting hard not to tear into the fabric with his claws. Terzo licked the side of Omega’s mask before nipping at his ear, his breath harsh against Omega’s skin.

“Omega…” Terzo whispered to him. “I want to hear you. I want to hear you say my name when you cum.”

Omega gritted his teeth, fighting with all of his strength not to finish on the spot. He began to move his hips in time with Terzo’s almost involuntarily, bucking hard when Terzo’s teeth sank into his shoulder. Fingernails scratched down Omega’s chest, stinging sweetly. Terzo released his bite to softly moan Omega’s name in his ear, over and over.

“Terzo!” Omega came with a cry, back arching, body trembling. Terzo gave a few more frantic thrusts before following behind, sighing beautifully.

As Terzo fell to Omega’s heaving chest, Omega heard his own heart pounding wildly in his ears. They lay there in a heap together, a mess of tangled limbs, tail still clinging tightly. Omega rubbed soothing circles into Terzo’s back, although trying to steady himself more than his little human partner. When he had gathered the strength to do so, he lifted a shaking hand to his mask, taking it off with a sigh of relief before gently setting it down on the floor. He coaxed Terzo into lifting his head, finally pressing their lips together in a tender kiss. Terzo’s tongue licked up into his mouth, and Omega couldn’t help but smile.

“Mmm,” Terzo hummed, before letting out a small yawn. “Do you think we should go to bed now?” He looked dreamily sated.

Omega nodded, stretching languidly and becoming aware of how sticky his stomach was with both of their release. “Maybe a shower first, tesoro.”

“An excellent idea, my darling” Terzo said, cringing as he pried their bodies apart. He extended a hand to Omega after he’d made it to his feet, an offering Omega gladly took. His knees felt weak as he stripped his pants and underwear the rest of the way off, leaving them where they fell as they headed hand in hand toward the ensuite.

While they waited for the water to heat up, Terzo pulled him down for a kiss, soft at first, but quickly building. As they broke away to catch their breath, Terzo met his gaze, a hand finding its way to the back of Omega’s neck.

Terzo smirked up at him, mischief in his eyes. “Maybe we have time for an encore, no?”

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cherrysweather · 5 months ago

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Saw your requests are open! And love your writing so wanted to finally get the chance to send in a request!! :D

Can I get some platonic hcs or a small fic set during the events of justice for all with edgeworth and an adoptive daughter reader? Since that’s got some angsty possibilities!! Thank you so kindly if you choose to write this!! :)

Hi Anon!! I'm so glad you're happy about this opportunity and thank you so much for the support ;^; <3 I tried my best with this request, so I hope your expectations were met! Have a good read and remember to drink and eat something!

It was really challenging to write this, I don't know why I found it so difficult, so I'm sorry if it's boring or if it's not what you expected, I'll try my best next time :( -------------------------------------------

Miles Edgeworth with his adoptive daughter during JFA:

When Miles decided to leave definitely, the last thing he expected to happen was bringing in a girl as his daughter. It all started when Miles requested someone to help him with the new languages abroad. Quickly one thing led to another, and when she became his official assistant (-not so much for his happiness at first-), Miles allowed her closer despite her young age, but she deeply reminded him of Franziska.

Their alleged relationship as a "family" started as a joke among his coworkers, he enjoyed the time spent together but never found enough courage and officially adopt her. He could already hear people talking and his only good fathering model wasn't there enough to make him understand how to do it; his adoptive father? Not the best. All these burdens from the past made their relationship more than unsettling, and his final decision to adopt and help someone in the same condition he was in when little, delayed until the last moment.

Considering his constant traveling, the two of them tried to find an agreement on when she would follow him and when to stay at home, but sure thing was that she didn't want to definitely follow him home, if somewhen he was to return. Thanks to him, she found a clearer path in her life but also kept his path, duties, and must-do obligations in mind to be sure to never be in the way, but maybe help when possible.

Miles always remained informed on what was happening back at home since he left the prosecutor's office; from all the chaos and confusion that resulted from his "death message", the case with Lana, and lastly, the news about Franziska's arrival from Germany.

However, all he could do for his own sake was focus on his career, find himself again and detach himself from his adoptive father definitively. This new experience, against all odds, was what helped him the most; he stopped pushing others away when in need of help and improved his interpersonal skills, stopped backing up from emotions he deemed useless and learned to be vulnerable in front of others.

His daughter reminded Miles so much of himself; luckily, she didn't see any of her parents killed in front of her eyes, but they weren't exactly cut out for the job, neglecting and leaving a child on their own too soon for her good. He surely isn't one to judge, never knew how parenthood worked and will probably never understand it entirely. Miles couldn't process having to grow up quickly and leave behind the few familiar things while still in touch with von Karma, but now that he's facing it all over again with her, he can easily help out while realizing a lot of his childhood.

Slowly, in his head everything was easier, and he could see himself finally going forward.

During the circus case, Gumshoe contacted Miles again and updated him on Wright, Franziska's work and the cases they handled. He decided to help remotely with the investigations, but soon understood it was time for a trip back home.

She was aware of Miles' relations and situations with both his adoptive sister and "best friend"; the news of his departure probably shook their lives and him being Miles Edgeworth doesn't know how to handle the circumstances created emotionally, other than being the usual stoic robot that he is. Furthermore, returning with a daughter added more trouble explaining everything. Still, Miles wanted to bring her along and find a solution together, as in all their investigations.

Phoenix's and Franziska's reactions were more than foreseeable, so he was ready for their disdain, especially Franziska, fearing his brother was back prepared to overshadow her again in her most important case. It didn't even cross their mind to question who the girl with him was; only when Phoenix came to Miles' office to discuss the Engarde case that everything hit him, in the worst way ever. But it's also in that specific moment that he understood how the "death" of his friend he experienced so poorly was in reality all he needed to turn back to when he was a child, more carefree and human. Soon they both realized how Edgeworth resolution was what Phoenix needed, too, to move forward.

If this situation wasn't hard enough, Miles lost years of his life when he had to forcefully drag Franziska to the hospital after being shot. He didn't even have time to collect what was happening and not panic that he was called to court to cover for his sister.

And once again, the von Karma curse hit again. He was lucky enough to have gotten rid of it, but he knew Franziska too well, and before she could leave her father and all the expectations his career passed on to her she had to be awakened with different realities from the one his father fed her for all their lives.

Edgeworth worked to find de Killer very soon in his career, because of this after the dispute with Andrews during the trial he spent all the time available investigating to locate him and Maya.

In all this chaos, he could luckily count on his daughter. Even if she could be the mirror of Franziska, her engagement with his father's work and relations was what put his mind at peace that she wouldn't take that turn. When she was allowed to investigate, Gumshoe by her side, together they worked their double best to help Edgeworth, but, as nothing helpful for the case could be done, she remained in the hospital with Franziska, helping her recover and not go out. That's when the two started to know each other, and Franziska began to see his brother's changes, or at least tried to.

She was able, at the end of this case, to see beyond the little corners Miles kept hidden; his sister, their father and this much-discussed best friend. Gradually, Edgeworth became easier and easier to crack open from his shell, and, like the good niece she was, the next one was Franziska and her whole armor.

#ace attorney #ace attorney x reader #ace attorney headcanon #ace attorney headcanons #miles edgeworth #miles edgeworth x reader #miles edgeworth headcanons #ace attorney justice for all #ace attorney investigations

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pinkcreamypeach · 6 months ago

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Rosalina's final redesign in my au. (Human)

"Waluigi & rosalina "

Here's some more info about them in my au.

In my alternate universe, Waluigi's real name is Jerónimo, and he's a Puerto Rican. Despite being known for his frequent suit stealing and robbing offenses, he had somehow managed to evade punishment. This was most likely because the stolen suits didn't cost that much, and as a result, the authorities chose not to prioritize his case.

Nonetheless, it was still a crime, and Wario would have undoubtedly found it amusing to see Jerónimo behind bars for such petty offenses. He even sported the stolen suits to try and impress Rosalina, which added another layer to the absurdity of the situation.

It seemed as though Jerónimo was simply a master of crime and deception, able to dodge consequences with ease. However, there was no telling how long his streak of good luck would last before he was finally caught.

Rosalina, the powerful and majestic space princess, has remained the same in terms of her personality and powers. However, with certain traumatic events and the passage of time, her character has evolved and now she displays a motherly demeanor, acting as a protective figure to those around her.

In her quest to find the secrets of the universe, Rosalina's powers have developed to include the ability to read the stars. When a constellation appears, Rosalina is able to harness its energy and create new stars, which in turn yield valuable cosmic energy. Furthermore, Rosalina's pyrotechnic powers, when combined with the fire flower, are capable of reaching temperatures of up to 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit, allowing her to manipulate fire and heat in impressive ways.

Despite her extraordinary abilities, Rosalina has also faced her fair share of challenges, including her trauma which has left her with both visible and internal scars. Despite these setbacks, Rosalina has remained committed to her duties and continues to use her powers to help those in need, spreading light and hope wherever she goes.

The young and innocent Rosalina, whose life was forever altered by the devastating loss of half her civilization and her parents, was forced to grow up far too quickly. Left to lead as a queen of the stars, Rosalina amassed vast knowledge and wisdom about the universe, but not much about the world of humans.

Despite this, Rosalina remains a fierce protector, using her newfound leadership skills to ensure the safety and well-being of her people. However, while she may be knowledgeable about the stars and the universe, her understanding of Earth cultures and the concept of romance is limited, as she has only ever experienced the love of family and her children, never having had a chance to fully experience the joys of childhood or the complexities of adult relationships.

Rosalina and Waluigi's relationship in this alternate universe is a complex one, as they started out as complete strangers before gradually developing romantic feelings for each other. They would often meet under the moonlight, alone, where Rosalina's beauty and voice would captivate Waluigi.

Over time, their conversations revealed their similar experiences with losing beloved parents, causing Waluigi's fake personality to fade away, allowing his true self to shine through. As he opened up to Rosalina, he gradually let go of his fake persona and became more genuine, revealing his insecurities and feelings to her.

Rosalina found Waluigi intriguing due to his appearance, and his true self began to emerge, causing them to relate on a deeper level. Despite their romantic feelings for each other, the two have yet to act on them, but their connection only grows stronger with each passing night spent in each other's company.

The blossoming love between the two characters is a gradual and inconspicuous process, and they are both oblivious to their developing feelings for some time. It is only much later in their friendship, when they have both grown closer and had the opportunity to know each other better, that they start to realize their true feelings.

Despite the slow pace of their journey towards love, their friendship has served as a foundation for deeper emotions to form, and they find comfort and peace in each other's presence.

(Next post will about mareach and Luaisy children)

@bberetd @maceincognito @house-of-xiii @magnas27 @peaches2217 @awesomewolf27

#artwork #art #handdrawingart #fanart #super mario #mario fanart #nintendo #artists on tumblr #small artist #princess rosalina redesign #princess rosalina nintendo #super mario bros rosalina #waluigi x rosalina #waluigi fanart #waluigi #waluigi redesign #wasalina fanart #wasalina #creamypeach writings

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amayaonly1 · 22 days ago

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Verses Unwritten: A Rap Odyssey

Eminem x Rapper!OC

Verse 11

About: Genji reflects on her collaboration with Eminem, revisiting moments of vulnerability and connection that once felt meaningful. As she wrestles with the growing silence between them, her lingering questions about their bond drive her to confront emotions she has been trying to ignore.

Disclaimer: This work is a work of fiction, and any involvement of the character Genji is purely fictional and not representative of any real person.

The crisp winter air of Tokyo greeted Genji as she leaned against the frosted windowpane of her apartment. The city outside bustled with life, its neon signs fading against the encroaching daylight. February's chill seeped through the glass, a reminder of her restless schedule: interviews, promotional events, and music show performances. Yet, amidst the chaos, her thoughts wandered to one particular moment half a world away.

She caught her reflection in the glass. Her dark eyes were lined with exhaustion, but it wasn't just from the relentless pace that consumed her for the past weeks. It was something deeper, a restlessness she couldn't quite name that always seemed to lead back to Detroit.

Hailie's laughter was the clearest echo. Genji had always believed that children carried the purest forms of joy, untainted by the burdens adults bore. Working with Hailie on her project had been a welcome reprieve, an anchor in a storm of uncertainties. The girl was bright and curious, her enthusiasm infectious. But the memory of Eminem standing in the doorway, silently watching, stayed with her just as vividly. She remembered sensing the restraint in his jaw, his arms crossed and his gaze lingered before flicking away.

Genji thought back to their collaboration on Beautiful, a song that felt like peeling back layers of his guarded exterior. The way his voice softened when he explained the inspiration behind the lyrics made her feel like she was being allowed into a private part of his world. Then there was the book launch, where he showed vulnerability while recounting his past and struggles that had stayed with her long after the event. She'd thought, perhaps foolishly, that it had meant something.

But now? Now, their conversations had grown layered over time, filled with subtext she couldn't quite decipher.

She admired him, that much was certain: his resilience, his talent, his ability to channel his pain into something powerful, even his devotion to his daughter. And yet, there was more to it, something she hadn't dared to name.

It wasn't love. It couldn't be.

Could it?

She shook her head as the thought tightened her chest, trying to push it away. Love had no place here. They were artists who had briefly shared creative space. That was all it was. She had learned long ago to set her heart aside, to survive by shutting doors that didn't need opening.

Genji sat back down at her desk, the night creeping in as the room grew colder. She pulled her notebook closer. The worn cover and ink-stained pages were a testament to her constant need to process her world through words. Yet tonight, the pen hovered over the page, unmoving.

Her laptop's soft bing broke the stillness, and when she glanced at the screen, her breath hitched.

Eminem: "Thanks for helping Hailie. She loved working with you. Keep doing your thing."

It was polite and distant. If she squinted, she might find a thread of warmth. But reading it felt like reopening an old wound. The words made her feel like she was still an outsider in a world she almost become a part of. After all that had happened, it was starting to feel like she had become another one of the countless voices in the background, nothing more than an occasional collaborator.

Her hand hovered over the keyboard button, but the words wouldn't come. She stared at the screen, wondering if she should reach out, if she should ask him about Hailie again or inquire about their next project together. But the hesitation lingered like a shadow, pulling her back. There was nothing she needed to nor should say. And yet, her chest tightened with the weight of everything unsaid.

The screen dimmed as the notification faded, and with it, her resolve. She closed the laptop. Some things were better left unsaid. Yet the silence that followed felt deafening. She pulled her notebook closer and began to write, the words spilling out like a dam had broken. They weren't lyrics, not yet. They were raw and jagged thoughts, questions she dared not ask aloud, feelings she couldn't fully name.

あなたの胸の奥、今も私の声が響くの？ (Does my voice still echo in the depths of your heart?)

刹那��嵐じゃなく、時を越えて共に描けるの？ (Not just a fleeting storm, can we paint eternity together beyond time?)

The pen stilled, her hand trembling. She stared at the words until they blurred together, her vision clouded by unshed tears. It wasn't that she wanted to chase some fleeting fantasy, nor did she regret their brief collaboration either. Rather, it was the silence that had followed, the way he stepped back after the project wrapped as if she'd never been a part of it. She ripped the page from the notebook and crumpled it, tossing it onto the floor where it joined a growing pile of discarded drafts.

Later, lying in bed, Genji stared at the ceiling. The room was too quiet now, the silence pressing against her ears as she lay there, tangled in her own thoughts. Detroit felt far away, yet it clung to her like a second skin. She thought of their last conversation; his guarded expression, the way he always kept an arm's length from her, even after the months they'd spent working on lyrics together. It felt like he had built invisible walls around them, as though he was afraid to let anyone in. She had seen that before, people shielding themselves not because they didn't trust others, but because they were afraid of being seen.

Maybe she was as much a hypocrite as she feared he was, expecting honesty from someone when she had spent years avoiding it herself.

Although one thing was certain — she wouldn't let the moment pass without clarity the next time she saw him. Whatever this was, she needed to face it head-on. For now, though, her focus had to remain on her work. Tomorrow, she would channel this confusion and pain into something real. Tomorrow, she would face the silence and turn it into sound.

#eminem #eminem fanfiction #eminem imagine #eminem x reader

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likealittleheartbeat · 10 months ago

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hello !!

i was wondering, do you know any other characters like aang from other shows/movies/books? or maybe, just his theme of radical kindness appearing in other stories?

i've been missing aang, and it would be nice to find other representations of such a fun and warm personality like his.

ps.: your blog is like, fantastic. truly.

🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is the best ask I’ve ever received!!! Depictions of radical kindness in media is a special interest of mine—not exaggerating. So I’ve done my best to make a list of rec’s, just tv, from most formally similar to ATLA to least, with a short description for each.

1. Fruits Basket (2019)

"My mom told me, it's better to trust people than to doubt them. She said that people aren't born with kind hearts. When we're born, all we have are desires for food and material things. Selfish instincts, I guess. But she said that kindness is something that grows inside of each person's body, but it's up to us to nurture that kindness in our hearts. That's why kindness is different for every person."

An anime orphan whose established memory of the kindness by which her family raised her ends up transforming and liberating a whole clan from an intergenerational curse that enforced an abusive hierarchy all within a show that has a deeply queer subtext, beautifully complex plotting and character development that due to its zen influence refuses to demonize anyone or any perspective wholly, AND a straight romance you can actually root for!? Nothing comes closer to ATLA thematically than this show. While the lead Tohru Honda is the biggest representative of radical kindness, the character of Momiji Sohma with his complex purity, idealism, and gender performance is one of the closest you'll find to Aang in any media.

2. Mob Psycho 100 (2016-2023)

"The truth behind one's charm is kindness. Just be a good person, that's all."

Mob Psycho 100 explores a core tenant of ATLA's critique of imperialism and power: greatness and perfection are overrated. They both ask the question about what to do for the world with one's gifts if that's the case. How can one be both normal and prodigious at the same time? The satirical comedy and style of this anime, which deconstruct a lot of the shonen genre tropes, are pretty distinct from ATLA, but when ATLA arrived on the airwaves, it was a pretty massive break from tradition in Western animation, and for both of these series, that difference of style is tied to the message of the show about the experience and acceptance of difference.

3. Natsume's Book of Friends (2012-present)

"As I encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself."

The anime, Natsume's Book of Friends and ATLA both depict the challenge and necessity of facing abandonment, loss, and a deep-seated loneliness with kindness and gratitude despite the persistence of grief. Both take a deeply spiritual view--even a responsibility--of this experience that demands a compassion for all beings including those who intend to do harm. Natsume, an orphan shuffled between houses who is one of the few people who can see spirits called youkai, inherits his maligned grandmother's book of yokai names, becoming a target for them in the process. He hides all of this from everyone in his life, and even five season in, still has trouble admitting to the one person who understands him when he is struggling and needs help. The gentle and light tone papers over a profoundly honest representation of attachment trauma and the wisdom of compassion that develops as a tool to cope with it.

4. Hunter x Hunter (2011-2014)

"You can do whatever you want to hide your feeling. You still have a heart."

If you think that "Radical Kindness" is by definition non-violent, then this show is either not for you or going to change your mind. Gon, the protagonist of HxH, like Momiji mentioned in Fruits Basket, is another rare character whose naivete and optimism are treated with respect. He is allowed to suffer, to be wrong, to be stupid, and to inspire others away from their own cynicism with the persistence of his beliefs nevertheless. But HxH is a show that integrates the most violent aspects of the world (organized crime, capitalistic competition and privileging, state-sanctioned brutality, pure sadism) with its examination of human potential for goodness. And even within a list of shows deeply inspired by spirituality and religions, this show is abundant with religious references as it seeks out meaning, balance, and an ethic for modern experience. On top of that, it ranks with ATLA for the depth and relevance of its magic system to its themes, plus its got gay subtext out the wazoo!

5. Mushishi (2005-2014)

“Make sure to remember, every person and place has a right to exist. It is true for you too, the entire world, as a whole, is your home."

Elegaic, episodic, compassionate, and strange, with some of the best short story-telling of all time, Mushishi is the story of a medicine-man who travels the Japanese countryside helping people deal with the spirits that accompany the little trials and tragedies of life that cling to our minds long after they're passed. The protagonist, Gingko, and the show itself takes the approach of restraint to observe these problems fully and come to a conclusion that's taoist in its balance and acceptance of reality--"Eyes unclouded by hate" as Miyazaki/Gaiman would have it. Each episode is like a therapy session arguing for you to choose to live even as the heaviest burdens sit on your chest.

6. Reservation Dogs (2021-2023)

"See...love doesn't have to be received, it can just be."

We're finally out of the animes, and moving away from the zen and shinto approach into some other options. Reservation Dogs' indigenous humanism was groundbreaking, bringing in distinctly modern American realities (with the kind of true-to-life details only a an on-location shoot could offer) with Native beliefs about ancestry, community, and connection to the land, while rarely feeling preachy. Instead, it's just fucking hilarious and casually heartbreaking. Four friends on the edge of graduating high school on a reservation in Oklahoma try to figure out what to do with their lives after their plans to go to California get abruptly messed up. Radical kindness as a concept often gets focused on accepting the enemy but what about accepting the weird stoner uncle who farts all the time and won't talk about his years in the army. I think that might be a more important goal of radical kindness, in truth, if we are being asked to look and accept reality for what it is, because growing comfortable with disappointment and the mundane let's us live without the relentless striving that drives perfectionism.

7. Skam (2015-2017)

"The second you start looking for hate, you find it. And when you find hate, you start hating."

A Norwegian teen drama that understood internet culture better than any show before or since, four season-long romance plots better than any romance film from that decade, and a masterfully constructed exhortation about leaning into failures of connection to build deeper compassion rather than demonize another person or group. Each season focused on a specific character within a high-school friend group, emphasizing the limited scope of subjective experience, and had them confront the challenges of opening up to others fully. And even when they return into the scenes with new protagonists, their lives weren't sorted perfectly, reflecting how resolving a single romantic plot point would not resolve life. The impact of this low-budget public-television web series (!!!) will be felt for years (it's already been referenced by Netflix juggernauts like Sex Education and Young Royals), but we're not likely to see something that juggles political themes, heartfelt characterization, realistic dialogue, and meta-commentary (it flashed its own hater and fan comments across the screen in the last episode!!) in such a obsession-inducing package anytime soon.

7. Boys Like Boys (2023)

"Because I have always been someone who hates myself, I don't have the courage to face it. Running away is my only option...What if I give myself one more chance to be brave?"

So how can a reality show make it onto a list of radically kind tv series, especially a dating show!? Well, when that reality dating show casts people who radiate warmth, vulnerability, and respect and seem to have the kind of chemistry that most scripted shows can't even manage, it's a good start. But then, when they elevate that cast with a format that addresses the cruelty of dating, elimination formats, and broader societal exclusion (an important consideration for a gay dating show), it offers a new model for future shows. Boys Like Boys did this when mid-season (spoiler alert) they had contestants vote out a contestant, only to provide the contestants with a vote in which they could retain a contestant who they didn't want to leave. In fact, many of the contestants asked if they could abstain from making a vote that would eliminate a constestant and were allowed to. The final result left one contestant, Jia-Hang, up for elimination--he had voted for himself to be eliminated, and many contestants, recognizing his reticence to continue on the program, didn't want to force him against his will to stay. Then, looking around at nearly the whole cast sobbing, even apologizing to him for not providing him enough support, Jia-Hang chooses to stay on. This is just one of many heart-warming authentic moments in the show that illustrate the vital influence of kindness to impact the trajectory of our hearts.

8. Joe Pera Talks With You (2018-2021)

"I can help you reach things. I can tend the garden. The different hours we keep are a good thing. And when they overlap, I can offer companionship and entertainment."

So much has been written about this show's groundbreaking kind approach, I'm going to quote instead: "It can be difficult to convey how a TV show airing on Cartoon Network’s provocative nighttime programming block Adult Swim can evoke almost nostalgic feelings of kind-heartedness. The premise of Joe Pera Talks With You is so simple as to almost be beside the point: Comedian Joe Pera plays a lightly fictionalized version of himself as a sweet Michigander, a middle-school chorus teacher with small and specific passions. Joe likes breakfast food, obscure trivia, beans, trips to the grocery store, and his grandma. He greets every day with a contented smile, stands beneath a pale blue sky, packs a balanced lunch that contains no surprises. (A turkey sandwich with cheese and a tomato, a banana, some trail mix, and as a treat, some cookies.) Joe, more than anything, is satisfied. His greatest joy is sharing these small pleasures with you, the viewer who exists on the other side of the fourth wall he has cleanly dismantled, often speaking quietly to the camera like he’s sharing a secret, just between you two. That he’s talking “with” and not “to” you is a crucial distinction in the show’s title: Joe never lectures nor rhapsodizes. Instead, he waxes poetic about what he loves and who he cares for and how he leads his life, telling his stories from a vulnerable position of welcoming you into his daily existence.” --“A Great Comedy About Being Good,” Allegra Frank for Vox

9. Anne with an E (2017-2019)

"Her life was not short on challenges, and still she held no grudges, believing instead that grace is perennial like the green, green grass."

While maligned for not being the 1980s version, this Netflix adaptation of Anne of Green Gables takes what many have read as an autistic subtext and made it text, giving Anne a performative quality that pushes a lot of the audience into the same irritation that the characters of Avonlea feel for Anne at first, and, thus, requires its audience to persevere toward the same kindness that Anne inspires in her adoptive mother figure, Marilla, among others, which is much more rewarding than simply identifying with Anne right away. In so doing, it enhances the development of its broader approach to acceptance--an approach in its insistence on the requirement of a community of kindredness (see Sebastian's excitement at finding out about the black community in "The Bog") that is much more rigorous than many other shows will cop to. Expanding far beyond literal adaptation into queer, black, and indigenous characters, without disguising history or disparaging the thematic seed of grace at the heart of the novels, Anne with an E imagines what it meant and what it might still mean to build real joyful community with others through kindness.

10. Little Bear (1995-2003)

"Interesting."

A childhood favorite that disguised in its simplicity a wide-openness to the world and an acceptance of different natures. While most child shows emphasize kindness, few do so with as much patience, wonder, and generosity extended to its viewers. Little Bear is a curious kid who goes on adventures in the woods around his house that can turn into games or small imagined experiences. He is sometimes with his friends Cat, Duck, Hen, Owl, and Emily, whose personalities, along with Little Bear's, bring about small tensions in their games that ultimately resolve, if not independently, then with the help of Mother Bear or Father Bear, who give each other knowing glances about the expected childhood behaviors. This is the first show that initially taught me to observe things while withholding my judgment, that first step of radical kindness.

12. The Andy Griffith Show (1960-1968)

"The key to happiness is finding joy in the simple things."

One really old and somewhat controversial throwback for my last entry. If you have concerns about a sheriff character representing radical kindness, I would encourage you to start with the third episode of season 3 where Andy, the sheriff in question, has to explain to the new mayor why he doesn't carry a gun and lets prisoners go to gather their crops. There have been some fantastic pieces written about the complexities of this show's bucolic fantasy and Southerners (of all races) attachment to it, but they all acknowledge a type of humanistic and deceptively simple virtue found in Mayberry that audiences long to witness, if not emulate themselves. It's a morality that resists the "hyperactive zealotry" and bureaucracy that the show satirizes through Barney Fife (along with guest characters like the new mayor) and instead emphasizes the understanding that one can have for each individual and the trickstery middle paths that one can find to address conflict.

#sorry this took so long to respond to!#honorable mentions include Hey Arnold! & The Good Place & Friday Night Lights & S1 of Ted Lasso (but only S1 lol)#atla #kindness prevails #likealittleheartbreat recommends #fruits basket #mushishi #natsume yuujinchou #hxh #andy griffith #joe pera talks with you #reservation dogs #little bear #skam #awae #boys like boys #mp100

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thatgirl4815 · 1 year ago

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Sand & Perspective

So Sand finally gets the attention this episode, and it's demonstrated a lot of things: namely, that as much as he has brushed it off, he is down bad for Ray. Like really bad. Honestly, he's down even worse than I thought.

A lot of this is evident in his narration, a device which has been used quite skillfully up to this point (I'm usually pretty wary of narration in shows, but I think it suits the general tone of OF and its large cast of characters). It's also exposed something I didn't think too much about before this episode--Sand and Ray's relationship has been consistently filtered through Ray's perspective. We've witnessed Sand's lingering looks and blushes, but with the exception of a few scenes, we've always been right alongside Ray.

"I gotta work for everything I want."

So what do we learn about Sand? He's a caretaker by nature--we knew that already--but we come to understand the root of this trait in his upbringing; he was forced to grow up fast as a result of being raised in a single-parent household. He's managed to get his mother out of her debts in the past. From this, and Sand's ability to earn money from multiple jobs, we can gather that Sand is both pragmatic and determined. Though his lifestyle seems lonely and monotonous, there's no indication that he necessarily feels that way about it; rather, he sees it as the "way things are."

Again, this seems to be the marker of a person who has grown up paving his own way, not expecting others to give him anything for free. (This also explains why he was so uncomfortable with Ray throwing money at him in Ep 4.)

I find Sand's dreams interesting as well. We know he idolizes musicians, but when Ray asks him if he wants to become a famous musician himself one day, he instead describes going to music festivals. To me, this indicates that Sand might not be interested in achieving his own stardom so much as he wants to be part of a collective. It's the thrill of enjoying music with others that attracts him, and I don't think it's any coincidence that we see him doing that very thing with Ray twice prior to this discussion (once at the record store in Ep4, and once at the concert in Ep5). It's illustrating how Ray plays a part in Sand's interests, bringing the two of them closer in the process.

"Ray's Extra Hour"

Sand falls hard and fast, and a large part of this can be attributed to his obligations as a caretaker. He's motivated to help others and offer support, because that's just who he is. Still, the fact that he's willing to carve out an extra hour in his day for Ray is very telling of just how deeply he feels for Ray already. It all brings me back to the first sign of feelings Sand demonstrates in Ep1:

Sand sees Ray as someone in need of help, and I suspect that role will only become more prominent as he continues to unveil just how broken Ray is by his past.

"I've always thought Ray is my 25th hour, my extra hour. But the truth is everyone has the same 24 hours in a day.

I see these lines as Sand coming back to reality. There is no actual "25th hour"; it's a piece of time he's invented to categorize the part of his life he's now devoted to Ray. Sand is pragmatic, but he's allowed himself to live in what he thinks is a fantasy; a fabrication.

"And within Ray's 24 hours, I'm not a part of it. I'm not that special."

As several others have pointed out, Sand's language here mirrors Ray's last episode. Sand wants to be cherished by Ray the way Ray wants to be cherished by Mew. Will we see Sand resort to his old routine, pushing Ray away the way he tried to once before? Will we witness Sand recommitting himself to his dream, narrowing in on his goals and isolating himself from Ray in the process (to protect his own feelings)? I predict we will see some of that, but Sand will ultimately run back to Ray at the first sign of distress. Because like or not, he cares about Ray, even if Ray doesn't put him first. His feelings won't just disappear overnight.

#Anyways: I love Sand.#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #sandray #raysand #sanray #raysan #sand x ray #ray x sand #first kanaphan #Khaotung thanawat #only friends sand #firstkhaotung #firstkhao #only friends meta #only friends episode 5 #only friends ep 5

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narcissosbythepool · 8 months ago

Text

PriceGaz Week - Day 1 (and 4, arguably)

Poetry prompt: "& how many times have you loved me without my asking? how often have i loved a thing because you loved it? including me"

Rosie AU

Tags: Established pricegaz, past trans pregnancy, non-sexual intimacy, showering together, scars (incl. caesarean section), mild body image issues, fluff, kissing

Kyle has always been handsome to John.

From the very first moment they met, John could vaguely estimate that Kyle was a good-looking guy, though at the time he didn't think much of it, busy with the whole gas operation and helping Farah. After he recruited Kyle for 141 and they began to work closer together, it kept slowly creeping up on him, the attraction, the affection. And then one day he looked at Kyle and his eyes truly opened to his beauty, the depth of his eyes, his full lips, how his brown skin glowed in sunlight. Toned body and a wicked smile, add his charming personality on top, and John found himself inevitably, inescapably falling deeper into an infatuation that then became something more.

The man who met Kyle in Piccadilly had no idea where he would end up.

The man who first noticed Kyle months later had no idea that Kyle could become, somehow, inexplicably even more alluring.

John knew the changes to Kyle's body from the pregnancy, and even postpartum, were not the easiest for Kyle to process. John knew that no matter how much and thoroughly he convinced that Kyle was still gorgeous to him, it did not really matter as long as it bothered Kyle. Now, nearly 18 months later, Kyle is almost back to the shape he was before the pregnancy, and he seems more comfortable in his skin than he has in ages.

Fatherhood also suits him well. He's become irresistible. John doesn't know how he's able to keep his hands off at any time. And he doesn't – whenever he's back home he finds himself touching Kyle constantly. Pressing a hand to the small of his back at every chance, caressing his face and hair, giving him hundreds and then thousands of kisses so that they lose count by the time he has to go.

He had already thought he had found the love of his life, that this was the extent of how much a human heart could handle affection – and then came their little Rosanna and grew his heart at least three sizes just to contain all of his devotion for her. With all the hard work that comes with parenthood, she's truly his everything. Not a day goes by that he doesn't miss her, want to hold her and watch her grow, become a person in this frightening world. Her smile is the reason he keeps going, her laugh and little arms around his neck life's greatest gift.

So naturally watching Kyle interact with her makes his brain break.

Kyle is so comfortable with her – it's no wonder, they've spent 18 months together, a criminal amount of it alone as John's been gone. Kyle's attentive to her every need and when they look at each other it's clear that they're each other's world. John is merely grateful he's allowed within this galaxy of parental wonder. He'll make it up, he tries each time he comes back, but he also finds it sweet that the two people he loves the most in this world adore each other like this. Kyle handles her with ease, taking everything in stride, be it tearful meltdowns or Rosie’s boundless energy. She is such a happy little child and John could not be more grateful that his absence doesn’t seem to have affected her sense of safety in the world.

He’s watching now as Kyle puts Rosie to bed (he insisted on doing it tonight, claiming that ‘you’re hogging her all to yourself, let me have a moment’, which isn’t untrue).

“Say ‘good night’ to Da,” Kyle tells Rosie, to which Rosie replies “Night-night!” and they both turn to wave at John, who waves back, clearly being chased out – fine, he can take the hint, and he blows a kiss to the pieces of his heart and then closes the door behind him. He listens by the door as Kyle starts reading a story to Rosie.

“Now that Da has stopped eavesdropping,” he begins and John rolls his eyes, finally tearing himself from the door. He takes a look at the flat and then sets himself to cleaning up the day’s activities. He gathers Rosie’s toys and arranges them in their respective boxes, puts all the pillows back on the sofa, and then turns to the kitchen, filling up the dishwasher as quietly as he can, resolving to get to the frying pan tomorrow, and then wipes the counters, the table and the tray of Rosie’s high chair.

With all that done, he looks around and there’s just… nothing else to do. He should welcome the quiet, and he does on some level – life with a toddler isn’t the easiest thing in the world, no matter how adorable and sweet Rosanna is, but he still doesn’t feel the pull of sleep like he usually does at the end of the day.

No can do – he’s restless. Leaves have always been tough for him, his mind constantly in mission-mode. It was worse, before, he would pace around like a restless dog yearning for a run, and he would do that too. Run for miles, try to distract his mind from the emptiness around him. Now it’s different, with Kyle and Rosie, and he’s happy that he can channel all of his restless energy into spending time with his daughter. Give some alone-time and well-earned rest to Kyle and make sure that he bonds with his daughter properly before he has to go again.

Rosie still cries when he leaves. It tears him apart every time.

He glances at the clock. It’s only 7pm, normal bedtime for Rosie, perhaps even a bit early, but she was getting cranky and getting her to sleep before a meltdown is always better. She’ll most likely fall asleep mid-story again, which is always very cute, but it will take some time and John now has to figure out what to do in the meantime.

He ends up scrolling on his phone on the sofa and bothering Nikolai, trying his best not to ask about work things. These days he really tries to disengage from work, try out the whole work-and-life balance thing that’s all the rage these days. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year and a half already, of living this new life of his – being a father (the thought still makes him feel a bit dizzy), returning home to his family, being the kind of person who gets to leave work to his workplace and then just… be done. Be home.

He’s still really bad with alone time, though. Waiting for Kyle to re-emerge from Rosie’s room feels like it takes forever, and John can’t help but be reminded of a dog again.

He looks up when he hears the door and Kyle smiles at him.

“She fell asleep fast,” John lies and Kyle yawns.

“I almost fell asleep first,” he admits and then joins John on the sofa. John opens his arms and Kyle settles sideways on his lap, practised by now in the fine art of cuddling.

“No TV tonight?” John asks and Kyle presses his face against John’s neck, and then nods.

“Can’t concentrate,” Kyle admits. “I don’t understand how I’m this tired…”

A thought occurs to John. “How about,” he suggests, “we take a shower?”

“In that case,” Kyle concurs and then leans in to kiss John’s cheek. “What are we waiting for?”

Kyle slowly raises his head. “Too tired for sex, too.”

“That’s why I suggested showering,” John raises a brow at him and Kyle flushes a little.

“For you to get off my lap,” John replies cheekily and gets a light tug on his beard.

“Piss off,” Kyle chuckles and then blesses John with another kiss.

John gets them the softest towels he can find and takes the baby monitor to the bathroom just in case. Kyle waits for him there already, still clothed, helping him out of his shirt and pants and dropping them to the laundry bin (which seem to have multiplied ever since they had their baby). When it’s Kyle’s turn, they both halt.

“How are you feeling today?” John asks. “Clothes on or off?”

Kyle swallows. This is always a bit of a difficult thing for them – they enjoy the intimacy of being skin-to-skin, but recently Kyle has had days when he’s just not feeling like feeling or looking at his body. Be it the sensory overload of parenting a tactile toddler or dysphoria, the reasons differ or intertwine, some days being touched and seen is overwhelming for him. John’s tried to make it clear that he never expects anything, is willing to go by Kyle’s wishes no matter what, but he knows Kyle worries about this.

Still John asks every time.

“Off,” Kyle says then. John resists the urge to ask if he’s certain – he’s learned that Kyle does not enjoy fussing, and would rather John take him at his word.

John lets Kyle take off his own clothes, as much as he longs to touch, but then Kyle plasters himself against John’s body and John’s arms come around to pull him closer into the embrace.

“Hi,” Kyle mumbles against his skin and John is met with such a rush of fondness that he has to close his eyes for a moment.

“Hello there. Ready?”

Kyle nods and then pulls back just to slide his hands from behind John’s back over his sides, all the way to his pecs, lovingly caressing his chest and the hair there. John enjoys the petting, lifting his hand to cup the back of Kyle’s head and press a kiss on his forehead. Kyle chuckles, until his gaze falls on John’s arm – specifically the tattoo there.

A simple rose, with Rosanna’s birth date on it. There are many marks of life on John’s body and this one he’s the proudest of. He got it not that long after Rosie’s birth. Kyle follows the shape of it, the series of numbers, with his fingers, and then presses a gentle kiss on John’s shoulder, then his neck, a trail of soft kisses all the way up to his jaw.

“Yeah,” Kyle sighs in his ear and John feels heady with Kyle’s undivided attention. His hand travels to Kyle’s ribs, to the tattoo commemorating their daughter right under his top surgery scar on the left. A stylized bee design, mimicking their nickname for Rosie, and her birth date next to it. He knows the lines of it by heart, doesn’t even need to look. The symbols of their daughter permanently etched in their skin feels appropriate – she turned their lives upside down, and it would not be fair if the inner workings of their souls were not reflected externally.

Close to the heart, always.

They step in the shower hand in hand and John makes sure the water temperature is warm enough before they step under the spray. He pulls Kyle close again and for a moment they just stand there under the water, brows pressed together and eyes closed, taking in the skin contact and closeness.

He lets Kyle take charge, as much as he yearns to touch and pamper him – but Kyle seems determined to be the active participant today, and John’s still not sure where they stand on the whole touching thing today. So he lets Kyle soap him, lets the touch ground him as Kyle washes his body, hands roaming gentle, stopping every now and then to appreciate a detail – a gnarly old scar by his shoulder; the expanse of his chest; another wide, deep scar from a knife wound across his waist (almost spilled his guts in Latvia); and throughout John watches him with soft eyes, feeling loved and cherished.

“My turn?” he asks finally, and Kyle returns to him with yet another sweet kiss.

“Sure.”

John repeats the same process: soaps Kyle thoroughly, washes him clean of sweat and the day’s grime, and presses kisses to his shoulders and neck whenever he can reach. His hands follow the lines of Kyle’s body – the toned muscles, the softness of his dark skin, stalling by the stretch marks he adores. He knows Kyle isn’t the biggest fan of them, but John loves them. He runs his fingers over them.

“Gorgeous,” he murmurs and Kyle cups his cheek, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb.

“So you’ve told me.”

“It’s true. Every time.”

Kyle answers with a smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling with delight, and John has to keep going to keep himself from crumbling on the spot.

He traces Kyle’s scars with reverence, as always. He knows them all by heart: that’s from when he ordered Gaz to rescue the hostages; this one’s from when he told Gaz to leave them. That’s from a gunshot wound from a sniper John didn’t notice; there’s a stab wound from Gaz covering for Soap. All these marks of life on him, and yet—

“I love this one the most,” John says, tracing the C-section scar across Kyle’s abdomen. It’s healed by now, but still clear – he knows it occasionally bothers Kyle, but John himself is positively obsessed with it.

“Yeah?” Kyle chuckles. “How so?”

“It feels like I put it there,” John says, transfixed on the darker line contrasting against Kyle’s beautiful brown skin. The truth is – he thinks most of Kyle’s scars, received after he joined John’s task force, as his. Both with the occasional guilt, but also with a sense of devotion. Kyle got these scars because of his orders.

This one, though. This one he knows he’s responsible for.

Kyle knows this, and throws his head back with a rich laugh. “You’re deranged.”

“Yup,” John replies and then leans in to chase Kyle’s laugh with his lips, pulling him into a deep kiss once again. Kyle hums in his mouth and then pulls back with a sweet little peck.

“You know what I like about you?” Kyle asks, hooking his arms around John’s shoulders.

“Mmhm?”

“You always make me feel better about myself.”

“Really now?”

“Swear. You compliment me and say nice things.”

“Of course. You’ll always be gorgeous to me,” he says and Kyle grins.

“Yep, that’s what I mean,” he chuckles, bringing them nose to nose, nearly touching. “You’ve made me like many things. Including myself.”

It’s suddenly hard to speak. He parts his mouth but nothing comes out, and Kyle closes the distance, kissing him right on his stupefied face, the tip of his nose, then his cheek and finally his lips – by then John’s brain has caught on and he returns the kiss with a gentle kind of cupidity.

“The least I can do,” he murmurs. Kyle laughs again, the sweetest sound.

“And that’s why I love you,” Kyle says to that, sincere and heavy, and John doesn’t know how to verbalise the depth of emotion he feels – love just isn’t enough, with his entire being yearning to merge their very souls into one spinning spiral of light. Who else could he stand with in the water, like this, just exist together like the entire world revolves around them? Who else would he spend the rest of his life with? It feels impossible to even think that this could ever end, and he does not even dare to imagine such an impossibility.

“You alright there?” Kyle wipes a thumb over his cheek and John can’t tell if he’s wiping away a stray droplet of water or tears, and he doesn’t really care.

“Yeah,” he says weakly. “I love you too.”

“Wow, for a moment I was worried you wouldn’t say it back,” Kyle teases – as if John could ever deny him the confession. He replies by brushing the tip of his nose against Kyle’s.

“Like I could resist.”

They enjoy the hot water, holding each other close, until the tips of their fingertips are all pruny.

John dries Kyle with the soft towel, takes his time with it, and Kyle lets him, understanding that John needs this moment to wind down from the emotional intensity. He gets on his knees to dry Kyle’s legs and when he looks up, it’s a sight from his dreams: Kyle looking down at him with a benevolent smile, like some saint, and John can’t resist but press a reverent kiss on the scar on his abdomen.

You’ve given me everything, he wants to say, you’re like a painting by the renaissance masters; I’d build a cathedral to your worship if you gave me the word; you’re the father of my child and I can never thank you enough.

But perhaps Kyle understands – he lifts John’s chin with two of his fingers and pulls him up to his feet as if tethered to his touch.

“Let’s get to bed,” he says.

Kyle’s word is law, so John dries them both as carefully and hastily as he can.

They change into their pyjamas (a matching set – a gift joke from Dotty, but in frequent use nonetheless) and climb under the covers, Kyle settling in John’s arms as easy as breathing, like their bodies were made to be moulded together like this.

On their way to bed, he lingers for a moment by Rosie’s nursery, eager to peek in and see if everything’s alright. He feels a touch to his elbow and it’s Kyle, gesturing with the baby monitor in his hand.

“She’s fine,” he says and tugs John by the arm. “Come to bed.”

He’s gorgeous. He’s everything John could ever have wished for and was convinced for so long that he didn’t deserve, couldn’t even dream of this reality. And yet here he is – sleeping in the same bed with his partner, their toddler dozing away in the next room, and it really can’t get better than this. And he owes it all to this man in his arms, the man of his dreams, the man—

“Stop thinking and go to sleep.”

He’s barely able to stop the audible laugh bubbling in his chest. Best not to wake their little one behind the wall.

“Yes, sir.”

END.

#pricegaz #gazprice #pricegazweek2024 #pricegazweek #rosie au #narcissosbythepool #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #trans pregnancy #tw body image issues

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forasecondtherewedwon · 8 months ago

Note

For the Bridgerton prompts, Penelope x Colin and ballroom and candle

Thank you, Winter :)

1) SHIP: Penelope x Colin

11) LOCATION: a ballroom

25) ITEM: a candle

more Bridgerton-themed fic prompts

Candle With Care

Pairing: Penelope x Colin Rating: E Word Count: 1307

Summary: Blindsided by his longing for Penelope, Colin adopts the desperate tactic of blowing out candles in every ballroom in which they find themselves, that he might move ever closer to her in the dark.

He blew out the candles that he might stand that small bit closer to her. There was no beguiling explanation, of course; he had to sacrifice a portion of the reputation which he was still in the process of establishing—the reputation of charmer that did not quite tumble over into rake—and claim to have put out the light with a silent, ill-aimed sneezed. Even Penelope looked at him strangely as he offered this account for the sudden dousing of light to those who were gathered nearby.

For the first time in their lives—and he could not clearly remember his before she had been in it—Colin was afraid of Penelope. He feared the recent evidence that she might have chosen to command the attention of every person in a room at any time simply by walking into it. He feared for his own powers of perception, that he was somehow just one among many who had failed to see sooner quite how beautiful she was. And he feared the way he felt about her. If the other two fears his heart had lately realized had had a consequence, it was that. He desired her. He admired her, and not for her gentle manners or ready smile or teasing humour, but as a woman.

Colin had his studied looks, his practiced charm, all learned abroad and none of it any good in this situation. With others, these new skills he had acquired would provoke a response that suggested the young lady would invite the seduction if he would only name the hour. With Penelope, Colin felt he forgot how to tell the time. He read Latin while she spoke Greek. Each time they were apart, he was forced to reattempt mastery of himself—it is only Penelope!—which inevitably failed to hold the moment they reencountered one another in a ballroom.

The obvious thing was to dance with her. Naturally, he did not, believing the cure to exist in his denying himself the pleasure. He could not hold her in front of other people. He could not touch her and then release her, stepping aside for the next gentleman who requested the honour.

And so, to cover his cowardice and his intense need, there were the candles. The excuse of a sneeze at one ball, a draft at another. Penelope was undoubtedly growing suspicious of these flames which guttered so consistently when the two of them were nearby, but she was good enough not to confront him about his weak ruse. Instead, she permitted him to find himself ever closer to her each time the place they were standing became the dimmest spot in the ballroom.

The fourth time, he rested the side of his hand against hers for the briefest moment. He thought about it for the remainder of the evening. He longed to strip the glove down her arm that their skin might meet instead. It was a dangerous, fathomless longing, spurring a dozen or more fresh longings—additional, immediate. His lips on the back of her hand. His tongue tracing the seam between her fingers until she squirmed.

No, he could not allow himself to dance with her. No part of him could be trusted with any part of her, let alone the whole of her, putting her body in his hands as he led her around the floor. If the candles were beginning to be whispered about, the things Colin would have liked to do to Penelope when they were not standing by the wall, when he proudly brought her on his arm to the center of the room while the whole ton watched, would have caused the greatest scandal ever heard of. Like the eruption of Vesuvius, the unbridling of the passion he felt for Penelope would have been a powerful force. It would have shaken the crown atop the Queen’s head.

The night after that time, the fourth time, the time their hands had met, Colin reclined and watched the candle that burned beside his bed. It had been burning for quite a while, and a quantity of wax had melted thickly down its side. More wax, still liquid, had pooled in the candlestick’s basin.

Experimentally, Colin reached out and dipped his fingertips into the pool of wax. It was warm, no longer hot, and as he withdrew them, it clung to his fingers like honey. Like honey, and other substances with which he had become lately and abundantly familiar. He rubbed the coated fingers against the pad of his thumb. Some of the warm wax curled away, but there was pleasing smoothness left behind, thick and fleshy. The overall sensation was not unlike touching heated skin.

Plucking the candle from its holder, Colin angled it to drip more wax into the basin. He repositioned the candle, then submerged his fingers a second time, deeper, even though the liquid he had just added was hotter than the rest. Still, it was not uncomfortable. He wiggled his fingers slightly in curiosity. Noting that he was breathing rather heavily, Colin curled his fingers into the slight resistance of the thicker, cooler wax at the bottom. A ragged, unseemly noise flew from his lips and his eyes fell closed. An image of Penelope gasping his name flared in his mind’s eye.

He had undressed and washed himself after the ball, then decided against redressing as the night was a warm one. Pressing his fingers indulgently through the wax, Colin could deny neither that it was the sensation of moving his fingers within the most secret part of Penelope’s body he thought of nor the raised ridge beneath his bedsheet where his naked body yearned for hers. The hand that was not immersed he slipped below the sheet, grasping himself.

As he stroked himself, she would not leave his mind. He took his pleasure leisurely—though for that, the intensity was no less. He knew he would have blown out a hundred candles for Penelope, a thousand, scores more to stand with her in perfect darkness until touching her the way he yearned to illumined her like a field of stars, the sensations he burned to impart connecting them into constellations.

In his mind, her full, beautiful lips parted to exhale his name. He extracted his fingers from the wax and brought them down to join the others already at work. To feel the wax-slicked fingers against such sensitive skin… Colin moaned aloud, his hips hitching. Of course, it was no longer wax to him, and to glide the texture along his flesh was to bring himself the nearest he had come—as he held Penelope in his thoughts—to being with her, in every sense. The heat of him kept the substance on his fingers malleable, until it was as though he were moulding her to the shape of him. He would be the first, the only. Oh, Pen!

His behaviour in the ballrooms of the ton had been mad, comical; if only Penelope knew how much more he did when he was free to act as he would, with no eyes upon him but hers, and those only inside his head! He craved her beyond reason. He ached to worship her the same. The hands with which he had encircled himself were torturous hands because not hers! Colin’s pace quickened to something frantic as his late memories of Penelope—regal and sparkling as she descended a grand staircase, soft with promise as she smiled at him—consumed him.

With a shudder, Colin spattered his essence up his stomach. His breathing was laboured, but the labour had been sweet. He stretched out an arm to touch the side of the bed where Penelope was not.

But will be, he swore to himself, then leaned the other way and blew out the candle.

#please enjoy my silly title #my writing #Bridgerton #Polin #Bridgerton s3 #Colin Bridgerton #Penelope Featherington #Colin x Penelope #Polin fic #Bridgerton fic

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signanothername · 1 year ago

Note

Exploring character dynamics: Blades

Blades and Heatwave: Very Older Brother, little brother dynamic. They would die for each other and brag about it later. They would also definitely roughhouse if Blades didn’t any know better. Also Blades trying so hard to imitate HW in part 2 of double villainy. He wanted to be a good leader too

Blades and Chase: Autisim vs ADHD if robots. They balance each other out perfectly. Just put them together and I’m already smiling cause I know I’ll have a good time. “What’s sooner than immediately?” “I have no idea”

Blades and Boulder: ADHD vs AuADHD. These two are a menace. They always do the craziest things together. I’m honestly surprised the writers didn’t exploit that more. These idiots kidnapped a lion. I love them. I’m also pretty sure that Boulder learned a lot about first aid from Blades since more often than not he’s the one acting doctor.

Blades and Graham: Their episode together makes me so soft 😭 They’re their both the “weakest” members of their active teams and can sometimes overlook how essential they are “At least they found you… that’s important”

Blades and Kade: Imma be 100% honest, I don’t think Blades could take much of Kade, him considering Mr. Pettypaws a better partner says it all. He wouldn’t get angry, just more and more annoyed and sassy.

Blades and Cody: Watching the show, I noticed that Heatwave and Boulder are closer to Cody, while Blades and Chase dare closer to their partners. Still though, this bot was fresh on earth, dealing with the fact that he would have to fly despite his fears and still said “For Cody”.

Blades and Chief: Dad and son. He was so exited to be paired up with the chief, adorable.

Blades and Dani: HSKEBSKA THESE TWO HOLY SHIT!!! Sassy as all can be. Big sister - little brother, man you can feel the love in this relationship. Dare I say it’s the most develop? Like, it doesn’t grow the same way Heatwave and Kade do, but you can feel this closeness. Blades is extremely protective of Dani and Dani is so encouraging of Blades, even when she considers something his doing as silly she’s there for him 🥹 ARGH, when she left for her space mission and he had to transform and didn’t get to say a proper goodbye, that shot of him as a helicopter just there, when she cried the moment she heard his voice 😭😭. How they’re very verbal about their affection and bring the better out of each other (Dani becomes kinder and Blades is always developing his skills) I love them so much. They’re gonna be great leaders in China and I WISH WE GOT TO SEE THAT.

AAAAA THANK YOU FOR THIS ANON THIS IS BEAUTIFUL 😭❤️❤️❤️🌷✨

Allow me to share my thoughts as well :D

Blades and Heatwave: I agreeeeeee!!!! I feel like Blades looks up to Heatwave and admires his skills, and i wholeheartedly believe he tries his best to make Heatwave proud, something he doesn’t actually need to do, cause Heatwave is already proud of him, HW just never says it outright, but you see it in how protective HW is of Blades and how he’d actually do the things Blades ask him to

Heatwave is protective of all his team, but he’s even extra protective of Blades, their relationship reminds me of the lil bro who gets bullied but keeps it a secert only for the older bro to find out and go beat the shit outta the bullies, getting hurt in the process

You know for a fact HW has been in so many fights just to protect Blades, he probably fought people just for looking Blades the wrong way <3333

Blades definitely imitates HW sometimes, probably without actually realizing it chchhc, that one episode of him trying to act hardcore and slaming his fist on his palm only to go “ow” is so adorable and i wholeheartedly believe he’s trying to act how Heatwave does

The leader role kinda doesn’t fit Blades, cause he doesn’t know how to act when pressured which the leader role is full of, it’s a role with so much responsibility tied to it, not to mention Blades is more of a free spirit, putting him under a restrictive role can inhibit his outta the box thinking and creativity, and that’s why in part i believe he tried to imitate HW, cause HW is an amazing leader and Blades doesn’t exactly know how to lead, so he goes for the next best option, imitating his own great leader <3

That obviously doesn’t mean Blades can’t lead, in fact I wholeheartedly believe he can and would be really great at it, he only needs a bit of time to find his own footing, to find himself in the role and to adapt to it, he’d definitely be a lot more carefree as a leader, a leader who makes his team always feel safe to approach him with any problems they may have and it’s heartwarming to think about :D

I think the fact Blades can adapt to so many things no matter what life throws at him is his greatest strength, so you can imagine my joy when Blades is assigned leader to his own rescue team in China <333

———

Blades and Chase: YOU GET ITTTTTT!!!!!!! Their characters balance so well for a variety of reasons cause you have Blades, who’s always anxious and thinks of the worst scenarios that could happen with Chase who’s always calm and thinks logically, which means Chase is the best candidate when it comes to helping Blades deal with his anxiety

Meanwhile you have Blades who understands social situations and innuendos and is very invested in pop culture and you have Chase who literally could never grasp social situations and innuendos for the life of him, and isn’t very good at learning the culture he is in at all, so you have Blades sometimes filling that gap

Their personalities contrast so much and that contrast is what i love the most about their relationship!

Also can I talk about how much I adore how they always take care of each other??? There’s a reason I like to believe these two are Amica Endura!!!! They look out for each other and you can tell they’re really close, they always help each other out and it’s always so damn heartwarming <3333

✨Adhd and Autism solidarity✨

———

Blades and Boulder: NO LITERALLY WISH THE SHOW EXPLORED THEIR DYNAMIC MORE!!

They have a lot in common both are artists, one who loves to paint the other loves to make signs and decorations, both love to explore the world, one through learning about the culture and nature, the other through pioneering, and both are very chaotic, these two probably love to go on adventures together sometimes

And as you said, the fact Boulder knows first aid?? He probably got Blades to teach him, i feel like Blades actually tries to let Boulder teach him about engineering too, kinda like listening to each other interests, but the boredom is infinite and his adhd brain can never allow it gugujgvjvj, it probably goes with Boulder talking for hours only for Blades to admit he didn’t get any of it, Boulder completely understands and is happy Blades gives him a chance to ramble regardless <3333

Hope you don’t mind but- *snatches the AuADHD Boulder headcanon* it’s mine now :)

Also can I talk about the fact Blades is good at dancing and Boulder loves dancing but his size doesn’t help? I like to think these two have dancing sessions sometimes!!

———

Blades and Graham: AAAH SO REAL!!!! Y’know I love how they have that in common, it makes a great connection point for the two

Blades and Graham aren’t physically strong, but that’s not where their worth or importance lies, Graham’s strength is his brain and his knowledge in engineering, he literally saved the lives of the entire island multiple times due to his input, whether by stopping his family from doing something that could potentially be a disaster or finding the source of what is causing problems to begin with (like finding the source of the earthquakes that were happening because of the speaker in “shake up”

Blades is agile and fast, really light on his feet and while all that’s good this is not what makes him important, what truly counts is his quick thinking and his amazing sense of the situation, he’s creative and that’s important in a rescue team where rescues always take an unexpected turn, his loyalty to the team is boundless and he always does what’s needed of him even when it’s completely outta his expertise, and this might seem strange to say, but his anxiety is actually a good thing, cause he sometimes does bring up really good points, his anxiety make him think of how a scenario can go wrong in so many directions that the team wouldn’t usually think about and asks them out loud, making the team stop and think, and that’s also really important

So when Graham and Blades don’t really realize how their existence is so damn important it hurts my heart, cause their perception of themselves isn’t the best, they think they aren’t as important which isn’t true at all

They both think low of themselves when they fail and it hurts to see cause everyone fails from time to time and that’s ok

I adore these two ughhh 😭❤️🌷✨

———

Blades and Kade: TELL ME ABOUT IT CHICCJJV

Like the mere idea of being partners with Kade was completely outta the question for Blades

HW’s and Kade’s personalities clash head on and that’s actually why their dynamic works, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, therefore canceling each other

And it’s honestly kinda funny considering how similar HW and Kade are, they obviously differ in some things, but overall their similarities exceed their differences

Yet we see that Blades is very comfortable dealing with HW, but wouldn’t be comfortable dealing with Kade, and i like to believe it’s in part cause Blades can’t handle really intense people like HW and Kade, but can adapt to them if given time, which Blades did have a really long time to adapt to HW but not so much time to adapt to Kade, so dealing with Kade seems like a nightmare, but we see he does consider it when Kade gives a really good idea only for HW to tell him to “think again”

Overall, I think it would’ve been amazing had we gotten an episode in which Blades and Kade worked together, it would’ve probably been a fave hcchchch

———

Blades and cody: oooh that’s a nice note, I didn’t really notice that!! Tho i’d say Blades definitely loves Cody and loves to spend time with him, “Virtual disaster” is definitely one of my favorite episodes, and I ADORE Blades’ and Cody’s dynamic in that episode

I feel like Cody and Blades get along so well, and Blades definitely acts like an older bro to Cody

Not to mention Cody seems the best at calming Blades when he’s upset, get his mind off the thing that upset him, like when Dani leaves for her pilot testing and Cody tells him “come on, let’s find enough paint for your sign” and we see how that immediately makes Blades feel a bit better :D

Cody seems to understand that Blades is driven by his emotions and that’s what he focuses on when interacting with Blades, and tbh that’s something I feel like Cody and Blades have in common, they both got really big emotions that require someone to acknowledge, and that’s why Cody always acknowledges Blades’ feelings and vice versa

———

Blades and Charlie: I don’t have much to add to what you already said cause that’s literally it hcchchchvjcj

But i’d love to talk about how Charlie seems to entertain Blades’ desires and child like wonder, gives him a chance to explore his world in his own way and helps him live the role <33

Charlie is an amazing dad, both to his biological and Cybertronian kids <333

———

Blades and Dani: OH MY FUCKING GOD THEYRE MY FAVORITE PAIR OF PARTNERS!!! And i agree! I think they’re the most developed!

I think Blades’s and Dani’s relationship is the most complex, Dani loves flying, Blades doesn’t, Dani is a risk taker, Blades has saftey as a priority

Their personalities are quite the opposite of each other, but that’s why they work! Blades teaches Dani patience and kindness and Dani teaches Blades to open up more and accept the danger that comes with his work

Their love for each other is literally radiating through space and time zhhxhdh

You can tell Blades becomes really attached to Dani, the episode where Dani goes to space is proof of it, Blades becoming upset at the idea of her leaving is so damn heartbreaking him going “I hate when she leaves” literally tore my heart in two

But what truly gets to me is that by the end of the episode when they have the talk Dani promised? He says “I hope you get it” he’s so supportive of her no matter how much it hurts him or how much he hates the idea of separating

AND I AGREEEE I WISH WE GOT TO SEE THEIR JOURNEY 😭❤️🌷✨

Goddammit I really wanna say more but know when you love something to the point it’s genuinely hard to put into words??? That’s me with Blades’ and Dani’s relationship they’re SO DAMN ADORABLE AND ID DIE FOR THEM

And since words betrayed me here’s one of my favorite scene of them just HSHSHSJHZHSJSJSJSHHSKAKS

———

Damn this got way longer than what I meant for it, hope you enjoyed regardless dhhdhd

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #anothers ask #ano saves asks #rescue bots

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vanfleeter · 3 months ago

Text

Conjure: Chapter 4

Characters: Jake Kiszka, Josh Kiszka, Sam Kiszka, Maggie Warnings: 18+ || Paranormal. Ghosts. Spells. Conjuring. Angst. Anger. Grief. Yelling. Swearing. Drunkenness. Fluff. Friendly banter. A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

“Jake, I really don’t want to be here,” Sam says as he stands outside the gate of the cemetery.

“Sam, you haven’t been here since the funeral,” Jake says as he pushes open the gate.

“For good reason..” Sam grumbles.

Jake sighs and rolls his eyes. “Stop it..” He grabs Sam by the elbow and pulls him past the gate. “Now come on, I bet he’s waiting for you.”

Sam rolls his eyes and continues to follow Jake through the cemetery. “You and your voodoo shit is really getting annoying.”

Jake scoffs and turns backwards to face Sam as he continues to walk. “It’s not voodoo..”

“Oh?” Sam digs into the bag he was assigned to carry and produces the same pumpkin and sage candle. “Then why do you have this?”

“It’s just a candle.”

“That’s not what Maggie said,” Sam says as he twists the candle in his hand. “She said you had been using it to conjure up Josh’s spirit.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jake snatches the candle out of Sam’s hand and sets it on top of Josh’s tombstone. “It smells good.”

‘You need to get your nose worked on again, brother,’ Josh says as he walks up beside Sam. ‘Candle smells like shit.’

Sam shakes his head and sits down on the ground. “So how exactly is this supposed to “help” me?” He says as Jake lights the candle and goes to sit on the ground as well.

“It allows you to begin the healing process.”

“You’re one to talk.” Sam grumbles.

Jake cocks his head to the side and gives Sam a disapproving look. “Feeling completely healed doesn’t happen overnight, Samuel. It takes time.”

“It’s been four years, Jake,” Sam sighs. “If it hasn’t already happened, I fear it will never happen.”

“That’s because you haven’t tried.”

Josh lowers himself to the ground and sits cross legged in front of Sam. ‘Come on Sam.. Please talk to me.. Tell me how you feel, please. I know you feel guilty and you shouldn’t.. I just wish you could hear me tell you that.’

Sam shakes his head and he lowers his chin. “I don’t know, Jake.. I haven’t been back here in four years for a reason.. I can’t face it.”

“You already are,” Jake says. “Just because you can’t see him or hear him, doesn’t mean he can’t.”

Sam leans his elbows on his crossed legs and rests his chin in his hand. He stayed quiet for a while, drawing circles into the grass in front of him. Jake let him take his time, so he turned to face the sunset. It wasn’t long before Sam was standing to his feet and taking the bottle of tequila out of the bag. But instead of twisting the cap off and pouring a shot, he slings the bottle at the tombstone. Jake jumps at the sound of the glass bottle shattering against the stone.

“Fuck you!” Sam shouts. “How could you have been so stupid?! Why did you have to be such a show off?! For once in your life you could have just not entertained people! Just once! You would still be here if you weren’t clowning around!”

‘There you go, Sammy.’ Josh says as he watches Sam take out his anger. ‘Let me hear it.’

Jake had fully turned his body around on the ground so he was facing Sam and all of his anger on display. “So fucking stupid, Josh, and I still so fucking angry with you! You ruined everything! My life, the band! The only good thing that I had managed to create is a baby! A baby that won’t grow up with you around! It feels so wrong bringing another life into this world after losing one–a vital one..” Tears fell down Sam’s cheeks and he fell to his knees in front of the stone. “I should hate you.. I really should.. But I can’t..”

Jake moves closer to Sam and wraps his arms around him. Sam turns his body into Jake’s, his cries taking over his body.

“I miss him, Jake..” Sam cries over his shoulder.

“I know you do,” Jake says as holds him tighter. “Believe me, I do.”

Hearing a knock at her door, Maggie gets up from the couch and goes over to answer it. Pulling open the door she’s surprised when she sees Jake standing out in the hallway. His head is lowered, his hair covering his face. He sniffles and looks up at her, his eyes red and puffy. She doesn’t say a word, instead she pulls him inside her apartment.

Waking up the next morning, his head pounding, and his body shivering, Jake peels his eyes open and finds himself alone in the bed with the covers strewn all over exposing his half naked self to the chilled air. Grabbing the covers, he drags them back over his body but pauses when he hears humming coming from Maggie’s kitchen. It was sweet and soothing and he wanted to hear more of it.

So he climbs out of bed and throws his shirt back on before quietly making his way down the hallway and to the kitchen. He can smell the scent of lavender making him feel more at ease. Peering around the wall of the kitchen, he finds Maggie seated at the island counter with a book open in front of her. She smiles and looks up at him.

“Good morning,” She says. “How’re you feeling?”

“A little better,” He says as he walks over to stand behind her. “Thank you for letting me cry in your bed.”

Maggie giggles and turns her head to look over her shoulder. “My bed is your bed.”

He chuckles and kisses her cheek. “Then why don’t you come back to it?” He says as he begins to sway their bodies back and forth.

“I would love to, but I have been doing some research.” She says. “I think I may have found something that could help us, but it’s going to take a lot of practice.”

“A lot?” Jake questions. “How much is a lot?”

“It involves a lot of breathing exercises and getting our bodies in tune with the spirit world.”

“So in other words… Yoga.”

“Yeah pretty much,” She says as she closes the book.

“Looks like a kid’s spellbook.”

Maggie giggles and takes a drink of her coffee. “I know nothing about what the book contains or how it may or may not work.”

“Where’d you even find it?”

“Some lady in Oregon who claims to be a witch.”

“Doesn’t sound sketchy in the slightest.” Jake chuckles.

“It’s worth a shot,” Maggie says. “Probably will do something more than that dinky pumpkin and sage candle.”

“Excuse you.. My candle is–” Maggie raises her eyebrows. “My candle is horrible..” Jake sighs. “I guess we can try this.”

“Well we have at least twelve months to perfect this,” Maggie says before sliding off the bar stool. “Sam’s welcome to join too.”

Jake shakes his head. “I don’t think so..”

“Sam is just as distraught as you are, if not more.. Maybe this could be his chance to have the closure he needs to make peace with the past.”

“He’ll think we’re insane.”

Maggie wraps her arms around his body. “Just casually mention it to gauge his opinion.”

“And how exactly do I tell him casually? ‘Hey Maggie and I have a plan to bring Josh back from the dead for a day, want to join?’.”

“Well not like that,” She laughs.

“Then how does one bring that up?”

–A Few Weeks Later–

Sam twirls his fork in the spaghetti on his plate as he stares at Jake. “So let me get this straight.. You want to conjure up Josh’s spirit for twenty four hours?”

“I know it sounds crazy–”

“Crazy?” Sam scoffs.

“--But it would give us closure..”

“This is absolutely deranged..” Sam tosses his fork down on the plate and stands up from his chair. “You want me to participate in some seance to bring our dead brother back from the dead just to have some closure? Jake, you have absolutely lost your mind.”

“Sam, listen–”

“No! You’re delusional thinking something like this can happen! He’s dead, Jake!”

“I know he is..” Jake mumbles as he slouches in his chair.

“Then leave it be,” Sam says. “Let him fucking be at peace wherever his goddamn spirit is..”

“What if he isn’t at peace, Sam? What if he’s struggling like we are? What if he needs that closure too?”

“Jake.. Josh is dead.” He grabs his coat off the back of his chair and slips it on. “But if you and Maggie want to go through with this freaky voodoo shit, then go for it.. I want no part in it.”

Jake huffs and drops his head as Sam storms out of the house, the door slamming shut behind him. Jake leans forward onto the table and rests his chin in his hands. Josh appears beside him and sighs. ‘That went well..’ He mutters. ‘Give him time, he’ll come around.’

“Maybe I am deranged..” Jake says to himself as he stands up from his chair and gathers the plates and carries them to the sink. He scoffs and turns on the faucet before running the garbage disposal. After letting it run for a few seconds, he shuts off the disposal and rinses off the plates before putting them in the dishwasher. “But if I’m deranged then I guess I could ask you to pour me a shot?”

Josh chuckles and gets up from the table. ‘Just because I figured out how to make coffee doesn’t mean you can abuse my abilities for your own drunken gain.’

Jake smiles before he starts laughing. “Come on Joshy, help your little brother out.”

‘So not happening, Jakey.’

Jake sighs and rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll get it myself..”

‘I think you’ve had enough to drink already.’

He follows Jake into the living room where he starts to pour himself a shot of whiskey. “Maybe I have lost my mind.. Grief can make you do funny things..”

‘Like getting blackout drunk like you’ve been doing since I died?’

“Alcohol eases the pain, Joshy..” Jake throws back the shot before pouring more. “And silly me for wanting to involve Sam, huh?”

‘Jake, stop..’

Jake downs the next shot before setting the empty glass down and grabbing the bottle instead. He goes over to the couch and flops down on it. “Sorry, Sam, I just wanted to give you some closure too.” He scoffs and lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a long drag of it. “You probably think I’m crazy too.”

‘You’re still grieving, Jake.’

“Fuck it.. Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight..”

Josh watches as Jake begins to light a few candles and lays them out in a circle on the hardwood floor. Closing his eyes, he begins to clear his mind of everything and focuses on his breathing. He needs to find peace and tranquility and Josh.

‘This could be interesting.’ Josh says as he relaxes back on the couch and crosses his legs over one another on the coffee table.

“Cinis in cinerem pulvis ad pulvis,” Jake begins to chant. “Eadem pellis participes sumus. Nos eiusdem sanguinis participes.”

‘O-o-o, fancy. Speaking all in Latin.’ Josh chuckles. ‘No idea what you’re saying.’

“Cinis in cinerem pulvis ad pulvis.. Eadem pellis participes sumus. Nos eiusdem sanguinis participes.”

Jake goes on for another hour, repeating the incantation over and over again as he focuses on his breathing.

‘Well, I’m getting bored, I’m going to lay out on your bed.’ Josh stands up from the couch and leaves the living room and Jake to his own devices.

Hours have passed and Jake is finally growing exhausted. The candles were near spent, wax drying on the floor. Blowing out the candles, Jake picks them up and sets them back on the mantelpiece before going to grab a butter knife to gently scrape the melted wax off of the hardwood floors. Once everything is cleaned up, he makes sure the house is locked up before going upstairs.

‘You finally finished.’ Josh sighs as he sits up on the bed. ‘And you look so drained.. The fuck kind of incantation were you doing?’

Jake huffs and falls down onto the bed. “Maggie is right. This is definitely going to take a lot of practice.” He rolls over onto his side, facing Josh. His eyes start to droop closed, sleep fighting to take over his body. “Goodnight, Josh..”

Josh scoffs and smiles. "Boy do you need sleep," he says. ‘Goodnight, Jake.’

The sun is shining brightly into the bedroom and covering Jake’s face. Groaning and rolling over onto his side, he grabs his phone and taps the screen to check the time. 2pm. He really slept most of the day away. The screen is littered with texts from Sam and Maggie, accompanied by a few missed calls from Maggie.

“You really slept in late today..”

Dropping his phone on the nightstand, Jake slowly turns over and looks beside him. Laying in the bed beside him is Josh.

Josh?

Josh?!

“Oh my god, you heard me..” Josh says.

“AAAHHH!!” Jake screams at the top of his lungs as he scrambles off the bed and staggers backwards away from Josh. “You.. You..” Reaching for the nearest object, he swipes a bottle of cologne off his dresser and throws it at Josh.

“Hey! Woah!” Josh shouts as he dodges the flying object. “Jake, calm down.” Without another word, Jake takes off out of the bedroom. “Wait! Jake! Stop!”

“No! Stay the fuck away from me!”

“Jake!” Josh chases after him into the kitchen. Jake is scrambling around the kitchen, searching for something. “Jake, please calm down.” Jake grabs a frying pan off the hook and swings it at Josh. “Jacob! Put the pan down..”

“No..” Jake says as he holds it out in front of him. “Not until I figure out if I’m dreaming any of this.”

“Hate to break it to you, brother, but you are wide awake.” Josh says.

They slowly circle the island, Josh with his hands held in the air, and Jake still holding onto the frying pan.

“I have to be hungover..”

“Definitely not that either,” Josh says. “You barely drank enough to get yourself blacked out again.”

“You’ve been watching me?!”

“Someone’s gotta keep their eye on you.” Josh says. “Although I always leave when you and Maggie…you know.”

“Oh my god!” Jake grimaces. “How long have you been watching me?!”

“Every time you come to the cemetery.. But then I figured out how to leave the cemetery so I’ve been here ever since. You’re welcome for the coffee by the way.”

“That was you…” Jake says as he lowers the pan.

“Morning after coffee is great.” Josh smirks.

Jake drops the frying pan down on the island counter. Josh sheepishly smiles and snatches the pan away. “Just so I don’t get threatened with it again..” He awkwardly laughs.

Jake digs his hands into his hair. “How.. How did this even happen?”

“It could be that spell you were chanting over and over last night.” Josh says. “Where did you even find that anyways?”

“I don’t know…” Jake sighs. “Maggie said she found it in some spellbook that she got from some old lady in Oregon.”

“And you thought to try it?”

“I didn’t think it was gonna work!” Jake exclaims, dropping his hands to his sides. He begins to pace back and forth and tries to make sense of the fact that his twin is currently standing in front of him. The doorbell rings making Jake freeze and his stomach plummets. Suddenly he’s shoving Josh out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. “Go, go.”

“You’re hiding me?”

“Just go!”

Once Josh is upstairs, Jake goes to answer the door. Swinging the door open he smiles brightly only to come face to face with Sam.

“Oh no..”

“Gee, good to see you too.” Sam chuckles as he steps into the house. “I’m sorry to just show up like this but I did a lot of thinking.. You may sound insane, yes.. But if I’m being honest, having another chance to see Josh again, even just for a limited time, I don’t want to miss out on that.”

“Oh uh, well..” Jake scratches the back of the head. “About that..”

“Don’t tell me you changed your mind..” Sam says. “I will gladly take the damn spellbook from you and do it myself.”

“Y-You.. Um.. You don’t have to do that..”

Sam’s eyebrows crease and he folds his arms over his chest. “And why not?”

Jake takes in a deep breath and goes over to the stairs. “You can come down now!” He calls up to Josh.

Sam looks up the staircase to see Josh stepping into view. “Josh?”

“Hey baby brother,” Josh smiles.

Sam turns his attention back to Jake. “Did you..”

“Yeah..” Jake breathes.

“Last night?”

Jake nods his head. “I was a little upset after you left.. So I thought I would try to prove to you that I wasn’t crazy and well…” He throws his hand up in Josh’s direction.

“Does Maggie know?”

Jake shakes his head. “I just woke up a little bit ago.”

“It’s 2:30..”

“Apparently doing that spell wipes you out.”

Josh walks down the stairs, cautiously as to not send Sam running away and screaming, much like his frightened brother. “You don’t by chance have any weapons on you?”

“No?” Sam says confused. “Why?”

“No reason,” Josh shrugs his shoulders.

“Okay?” Sam slowly steps up to Josh and presses his index finger into Josh's cheek. “You are real…” Suddenly he throws his arms around him and hugs him tightly. “I’m so sorry.. I was angry and–”

“Sam,” Josh chuckles as he hugs him. “Never apologize. I wanted you to say all of that. I needed you too.”

They hold onto each other a little while longer before pulling apart.

“Congratulations on the baby,” Josh says. “I’m very happy for you.”

“I wish you’d be able to see them when they come.”

Josh smiles and rests his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Did you know children can supposedly see ghosts? I’m going to test that theory.”

“Oh boy..” Sam sighs. “Just don't freak them out.”

“I would never.” Josh says. “So!” He claps his hands. “What do we do now?”

“I need a drink..” Jake sighs before turning around and heading for the living room.

“Are you serious?” Josh says as he follows after him. “You conjure me from the great beyond and you want to drink?”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.” He pours out a shot of whiskey and throws it back before pouring himself another one.

“Hello! You brought me back from the dead! I think I need to be wrapping my head around this.” Josh says as he takes the bottle from Jake’s hand. “Feels so good to finally be able to take something out of your hands. Seriously though, what do we do now?”

The front door opens and soon Maggie is joining the trio in the living room. “Oh hey Sam!” She greets him with a smile. “Lovely seeing you here.” She drops her bag on the couch. “Hey Josh,” She says as she waves at him and sits on the couch.

Sam and Josh both look at each other before Maggie’s jumping off the couch and turning to face Josh.

“Josh?!”

“Hi-i-i,” He awkwardly laughs. “Nice to finally meet you, Maggie.”

“You’re here? You’re real? How the hell are you…here…” Her voice trails and she turns her attention to Jake. “Care to explain how your brother is standing in the living room right now?”

“Depends,” Jake says. “How mad are you?”

“I’m not even sure what emotion I have right now.. Am I dreaming?” She says as she turns to look at Sam. He simply shakes his head in response.

“I got drunk last night after Sam left and I wanted to prove to him that this wasn’t just some silly voodoo shit.” Jake says.

“How did you do it?” Maggie asks.

Jake shrugs his shoulders. “I lit some candles and repeated the incantation until I grew tired.”

“And then proceeded to sleep all day.” Josh adds. “Such a boring day. Though it’s nothing new, I spent the last four years bored out of my mind in a cemetery.”

“Sleeping all day would explain why you haven’t been answering my calls.” Maggie says as she raises her brows at Jake.

“So now what? He asks for the third time..” Josh says.

“Well you can’t leave the house,” Sam says. “Last thing we need is freaking people out.”

“Let’s make some music!” Josh exclaims. “One last song together and you can say it was in the lost files.”

“But we’d need Danny.” Jake says. “And he knows nothing about this.”

“Plus he’s golfing in Florida,” Sam says. Josh turns to Sam and flashes a wide grin. Sam sighs and fishes his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll go call him.”

tag list is in my master list if you would like to add yourself! 🤍

@losfacedevil @writingcold @ignite-my-fire @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @hollyco @earthgrlsreasy @dancingcarbon @josh-iamyour-mama @oliverfuckingreed @cheersdannyx2 @highway-tuna @musicislove3389 @gretavangroupie @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @thetroublegetssoloud71 @squirreledelman

#jaketober #conjure #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fic #gvf #ghosts

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writersblog20 · 2 years ago

Text

Not how it works

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: When your uncle dies on your birthday and shit hits the van with family. Pedro jumps in moments of crisis.

Warnings: TRAUMA bestie, trauma, losing a loved one, death of a loved one, hospitals, mention of dissociating, TOXIC family, getting kicked out of the family, breakdowns, not being able to say goodbye, abandonment, neglect (this whole stories is full with pain so please read with caution if you’re vulnerable for this. You’re not alone)

A/n: So this is extremely personal and very specific. I need to write this off of me so I can deal with the trauma. This is probably going to have a part 2 because this bullshit isn’t over. everything that is the backstory for this story has happened this week. I’v lost my uncle, can’t say goodbyes, been kicked out of the family because of one piece of shit ‘aunt’, who tries to break the whole family. Please read the warnings. This isn’t for everyone

Not how it works

You were currently chilling with Pedro at your house. He stayed with you for a couple of weeks for shooting and stuff. You worked on the production team and became close friends with Pedro. This wasn’t the first time working together but this project made you grow closer to each other than ever. You were watching a movie until your phone went off. It was your mom and you picked up. “Hi mom” you greeted “Hi dear, uhm I don’t have great news. Your uncle Jo is in the hospital… he’s not doing great. We have to go to say goodbye to him.” you stared in front of you, trying to process it. Pedro noticed the sudden change in energy and paused the tv. “Okay…. I’ll get changed. What time are you here?” you asked her and stood up.

“Ehm… it’s only for the brothers, sisters and children….” She told you and your disbelieve grew. “So… I can’t go?” your voice broke slowly and Pedro looked with concern at you. “No, I’m sorry. But I’ll come when we’re done.” She told you and you sat down back defeated. Anxiety, worry swirled through your stomach, making you almost physically sick. “okay.” Your voice broke down completely and you hang up. you were waiting for a reality check right now and tried to comprehend it.

“Sweetheart? What’s going on?” Pedro’s voice ever so gentle and laced with worry as he sat closer to you, rubbing your back softly. “My uncle… he’s going to die… he’s in the hospital.” You told him. “Okay, so let’s go than!” Pedro told you and stood up, holding out his hand for you. You just looked at him, eyes started to water up, making you feel defeated. “I’m not allowed… I can’t go.” Your voice broke and Pedro looked with disbelieve at you. “Are you serious right now?” Pedro didn’t understood and to be honest, neither did you. The tears started to slip and you started to sob. Pedro immediately sat down and pulled you into a tight hug.

He knew about your family and how you always felt left out. With the death of your godfather, you weren’t allowed into the church or whatever. They made you stand outside, all alone and in the cold, which was extremely traumatic and it was all because one piece of shit of a ‘lady’. You were still struggling with that to this day and this brought you back to that point, where you were, once again, all alone. You were a wreck right now and Pedro’s shirt was wet from all the crying. You were in for a rollercoaster and Pedro and you knew it.

You held contact with your mom but you couldn’t contact her anymore, feeling even more left out. Finally after 7 hours, you heard from her. She called you to ask you if it was okay if she was going home or not. You couldn’t believe it. “No. I rather want to see you. I’ve been waiting all day.” You said with tears in your eyes. Pedro was softly rubbing your back, sympathy and pain written over his face. The way he saw you, broke his heart into pieces and how they already treated you.

In ten minutes your mom arrived at your home. You both sat there in silence. “We had to eat together with everyone… and your niece was there as well and nephews.” You felt your blood boil. “So they could but I couldn’t??” you started to get mad as the tears slipped down your cheeks. Pedro heard everything from the kitchen, where he stood so he gave you both some privacy but could still hear and see you. “Y/N, They had to be!” You shook your head and let out a frustrated chuckle. “Oh okey, so they could all say goodbye. Everyone except for me! And what about dinner Huh? I’ve been waiting here all goddamn day! The whole FUCKING day for what? I didn’t hear from anyone because you were all together and I HAD to stay home! I couldn’t even say goodbye!” you were furious to say the least. “I would’ve really fucking appreciated if someone asked me: ‘hey, I know you’re at home, would you like to have at least dinner? So we’re all together? But no, no one asked me because they don’t care!”

“They do!” she told you. “Oh really?” you didn’t believe anything she was saying right now. “You want to go to the hospital than? You want to say goodbye?” she asked you and you were absolutely flabbergasted as you got into a fight with your mom. “Yes, of course I want to say goodbye!” She nodded and clenched her jaw. “Then get dressed.” You looked surprised at her. “You said I wasn’t allowed….” You couldn’t believe it and it fueled your anger. “You are now.” you shook your head, not understanding that, now you could but not before when there were even people who weren’t allowed in. And they didn’t even think of calling you. No, they left you with all the question, didn’t respond, left you out as usual.

You stormed passed Pedro, tears streaming down your face as you walked up stairs. “Be quick.” Your mom called after you. Pedro looked at your mom and quickly went after you. You were sobbing while gathering your stuff. Pedro had a sympathetic look on his face, which became almost permanently now. “Can you please come with me?” Pedro looked at you with a soft gentle look and nodded. He walked up to you and pulled you into a hug. “Don’t worry, I won’t ever leave you alone. Do you understand that? I’m not going anywhere baby girl.” He told you as he looked straight into your eyes and cupped your cheeks. He only called you baby girl when life got super rough and you needed gentleness in your life.

You nodded, tears still streaming but now because of the warmth and love radiating from Pedro. (The love and warmth you needed so bad in your life.) You were ready and all got into the car. Pedro held your hand the entire way. It was late at night and the hospital was almost empty. You felt a pit in your stomach as you stood in the elevator. You searched for Pedro’s hand and held it. Your family didn’t know that you knew Pedro, let alone be so close. The elevator opened and you stepped out, seeing your uncle, some other aunts and uncles that you didn’t know and some you did. You greeted them as you usually did and your mom took you to the room he laid in.

Pedro waited for you in the ‘family room’. You walked into the room of your uncle and he was everything except peaceful. He couldn’t communicate and was very agitated and was fighting his own death which broke your heart even more. You saw your grandma comforting your uncle. It broke your heart to see. Your grandma already lost one of her sons (your godfather) and not even 2,5 years later, her other son. Comforting him to his own death.

You sat there for a good hour and a half before coming back to the family room. Pedro was awaiting your reaction but you were so extremely closed off that he was unable to read you, so he figured the worst because you would never close him off. You gave your family a hug and left, making your way to the elevator. You were all silent and Pedro gave you the space you needed, never pushing you for answers but waiting until you were ready to talk about it. But Pedro noticed when you wanted affection as in, cuddles, holding your hand or your back, it didn’t really matter, you just wanted some physical contact. So that’s how he noticed that you were very much in need for some comfort, so he went with the back of his fingers over the back of your hand, making you grab his hand as you walked out of the elevator.

You walked to the car and it didn’t took long to arrive home. “He won’t make the night.” You commented, making your mother nod as you stood inside of your house. She gave you a hug and left, leaving you alone with Pedro. You poured a glass of wine in for yourself and looked at Pedro, if he wanted some. He was leaning against the kitchen counter as the clock ticked 1 AM. He nodded and gave you a sympathetic smile. You poured some in for him, got your joint and you jumped on the kitchen counter, lighting the joint and took a big puff.

You were both silent and Pedro stood next to you, not really knowing what to say or do. “are you…. okay?” he asked carefully and soft. Your eyes started watering and you tried to push away the overwhelming feeling of sadness and defeat. Even though how hard you tried, the tears started to slip. Pedro put his glass of wine away and put his arms around you for a hug. You were still sitting on the kitchen counter but the only person who was allowed in your bubble was Pedro. There was a safety, comforting and reassuring energy from him and you trusted him with your life. You started to sob, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. After an hour of crying and a bad headache, the weed finally kicked in, making you calm down a bit.

Pedro slept with you that night. Comforting where he could and giving you all the cuddles, making sure that you didn’t feel alone and that you felt loved.

The passing days, you’ve gone to the hospital. Your mother had a moment of communication with him and could say her goodbyes. You stood there, looking and unable to actually say goodbye. The next day, when you got ready for the hospital, they told you that you weren’t welcome anymore. It broke your heart but they said his children wanted to be with him, which you could understand. Until you heard and saw pictures that nieces and cousins were there.

On Thursday, it was your birthday and let’s just say, you were NOT in the mood. You walked downstairs, feeling heavy and it got rougher with the day. Pedro was already awake and was making you a birthday breakfast. He saw you walk down the stairs and gave you a soft smile, pulling you into a hug. “I know you’re not really in a festive mood but I still want to make you feel special sweetheart. Happy birthday baby girl.” He told you and you held onto him tighter. “Thank you Pepsi. I appreciate it.” He gave you a kiss on your forehead. You ate breakfast together and before you wanted to open your presents from Pedro, you got a call from your mom. You spoke to her before and she whished you a happy birthday so you knew that this call was going to be THE call.

“Hey sweetie…. There’s no easy way to say this but your uncle has passed away. I’m on my way so we can go to family okay?” you were silent and you felt completely empty. “Okay..” you whispered out and hang up. You stared at Pedro, still feeling empty and you felt confused because of that. So many feeling swirled to your body and you couldn’t identify them, leaving you feeling empty and confused. “He’s gone.” You whispered out and Pedro teared up, seeing you like this.

He stood up, placing his hands on your arms, making you stand up. He pulled you into a hug. “I’m so, so sorry… I’m here for you. I won’t leave you. You don’t have to do this alone baby girl. I’ll be with you.” you nodded, still feeling empty and weird.

Your mom and her boyfriend arrived at your house, whished you a happy birthday and their condolences at the same time. Friends of yours did the same thing. From going to happy birthday to my condolences, was horrible and confusing. You got in the car and held Pedro’s hand the entire ride to your grandma’s house and picking up your uncle on the way. You were scared that the same thing would happen here as it did with your godfather. (leaving you outside, unable to say your goodbyes, not allowed in the church because of COVID. But everyone knew better. She wanted you out of the family, a so called aunt of yours who wasn’t even in the goddamn family. She was married to your uncle so as a matter of fact, she had no right in any way, shape or form to put you away.)

Pedro knew what had happened with your godfather and how you despise her. It was trauma where you still haven’t really healed from. You told him there was a lot of tension in the family. Like A LOT. That so called aunt of yours, treated on of your uncles horrible. He had to do everything for everyone for free when he was still recovering from getting a new hip. And she even told him that he should be grateful that he could eat with them. She is one of the most evil person you’ve met. So, you knew that there was at least something going to happen. And that there would be a big bomb of confrontation, tension and drama, falling in one of these days.

You got out of the car and greeted the people in the house but something was off. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something was going to happen. Your other aunt was behaving weird towards you. Not really looking at you when you tried to talk to her and sometimes staring at you when you were doing nothing and it caught not only your attention but Pedro’s as well, who sat next to you. You felt a distance between you and some ‘family members’.

One of your uncles came in, who you disliked as well cause he stood next to that piece of shit aunt and was one of the ‘leaders’ when your godfather died. So he was also to blame for how they treated you.

It was now 7 in the evening and you still hadn’t eaten yet, but they told you that Maria (THAT aunt) was making dinner. It was a part of the culture to eat together when there was a loss in the family. It wasn’t even up for discussion because you HAD to. So it was weird that you still hadn’t eaten yet but maybe after seeing your uncle who had passed, you would eat.

That uncle spoke up. “This is a sad day. I just want to make clear that what’s going to happen, are the whishes from the family and not my decision…” he looked at you and your mom, making you frown a bit. You felt a pit in your stomach as flashbacks from your godfather came to mind, scared that history was going to repeat itself. “After seeing him, we want you all to go home. We have long and tiring days ahead.” He finished his sentence, looking at you and your mom once again. Everyone stood up and his wife was looking sympathetic at you, making you even more suspicious. You looked at your mom and Pedro, hoping that they noticed it too. Your mom was too busy talking with that uncle so you looked at Pedro, who seemed to noticed it as well. “I’m with you, remember?” he softly told you, making you nod.

You all got in the car, your mom was driving, her boyfriend next to her, the uncle you picked up in the backseat and Pedro next to you. You were the second to arrive at the place they put your uncle in. Your godmother, another aunt and her daughters first as you waited. You couldn’t see him from where you were standing so you waited for your turn. Everyone followed behind you, there were at least 25 family members behind you. The kids of your uncle walked in and one of your aunts (his daughter that hugged you in the hospital) walked straight up to you and your mom. “I appreciate you coming here, but you’re not welcome. I need you to leave, you’re getting too close and I can’t deal with it.” you felt a brick hitting you, knocking out the air from your lungs. Tears started to water and your heart was pounding. Everyone was surprised and Pedro looked shocked.

You were the first to turn around and walk out of the building, almost knocking over that piece of shit of your uncle, over as you picked up your pace. You’re breathing started to become uneven while you sobbed, trying to catch some air. Everything was spinning around you. You heard someone call your name but you didn’t care anymore. The humiliation you felt and not being able to wrap your head around it. Why did she want you gone when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and when she hugged you in the hospital. You didn’t understand until it clicked where it came from. THAT aunt…. She was sleeping there and she wanted you gone from the minute you were in the family. They were vulnerable and she abused that vulnerability so she could push you and your mom out by manipulation.

You looked up in the sky for a minute, trying to get out of the panic attack, gasping for air. You felt hands on your arm, as the person tried to turn you around while you gasped for air. It was Pedro, worry extremely visible on his face. His heart broke into a million pieces, seeing you like this. You tried to push him away. The pain you felt in this moment was out of this world. You couldn’t handle it but Pedro didn’t budge. He knew you were in survival mode from this traumatic event.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s me, look at me.” Pedro begged as he cupped your cheeks. “Breath for me baby girl, breath.” He begged and you sobbed uncontrollably. Pedro pulled you into a tight hug. You saw over his shoulder, your mom and her boyfriend talking to your (good) aunt and your other uncle (that you picked up) walked out, extremely mad and pointed at the car to go in. You were ready to leave this hell place right now. You got out of the hug and into the car. You were completely dissociating right now.

Your uncle extremely mad as he got in the car. “Bring me to the station. I’m leaving. This isn’t over yet, I promise you that! Nobody touches my family. Nobody touches Y/N. NEVER. Don’t you worry, this isn’t over.” He told you but it was over for you. you got kicked out by half of the family because one person dislikes you for no reason. The other half, was standing up for you but there was no way you would go back.

You stared out of the window, trying hard not to make a sound from crying. Pedro had his arm around you, holding you tightly to his side, never looking away from you. His hand cradled your head and carefully pulled you into him so you could hide in his neck. You arrived at the train station and you all got out of the car and hugged your uncle. He cupped your cheeks “Listen to me. You are my family. Fuck them. This isn’t over. You keep being strong okay sweetheart?” You nodded, tears streaming out over his hand and he gave you a kiss on your forehead before leaving.

You sat in the car again, everyone was silent. Even when you arrived home, you couldn’t comprehend what had happened. You were dissociating very hard and had a blank expression. Your mom was talking to her boyfriend while Pedro stayed next to you, never leaving your side or leaving you out of his sight.

You were going from crying to thinking everything over to feeling blank to hate. It was a whole damn rollercoaster. Your mom picked up some groceries for dinner but you weren’t hungry. You were all drinking wine that your mom got until she got a call from that aunt. She picked up and they told you that they had to go back and eat at grandma’s house. “So they even fucking lied….” You told them, remembering what that uncle told you before you left. Then she told you that the aunt that told you to leave, told everybody that she didn’t. you couldn’t believe it. “She said it in front of every fucking one! And now she wants to fucking LIE about it?!” your rage was out of this world and you angrily stepped outside in the garden, lighting a cigarette.

You sat on the lounge couch outside and lit the fireplace and stared at the fire for a couple of second until Pedro came outside with some wine and a blanket. You were silently crying from all the pain you felt. You knew that you weren’t going to be invited for the funeral. And even if you was, you wouldn’t go. You had to protect that little girl inside of you from ever happening something like this again. Kicked out to the curb like you so many people did before her. It wasn’t about ego or pride but to protect yourself and like I said, that little girl inside. If you would go, than you would show them that it was okay to treat you like this when it absolutely isn’t. You don’t want to be around so much toxicity. This had to be the hardest choice to make and there wasn’t a good ending for what you would choose except to protect yourself.

“Hey” Pedro said softly. Your face was puffy and irritated from crying so much, your eyes red and watery. You tried to give him a smile but you could see from miles away it wasn’t meant. He placed the bottle of wine on the table in front of you and placed the blanket over your shoulders. It started to rain but luckily the lounge area came with a roof. Music softly played in the background. You had your knees up to your chest and rested your chin on your knee. “Thank you.” you softly murmured as you poured wine into your glass.

Pedro didn’t know what to say to make it less painful for you. I mean, how could you. There was no way to make it less painful. “I’m so sorry….” He told you softly and carefully looked at you. Tears pooled in his own eyes as his heart broke to see you like this as images flashed in his mind of how you walked away and remembering the pain on your face. You looked at him and slowly nodded, both at this point unable to say anything. Pedro sniffled and looked away for a sec.

You looked down as tears just kept streaming as if you were in a trance. Pedro stood up and took your hand in his, making you stand up. You had no clue what he wanted to do but neither did you care that much. He sat down in the corner and softly pulled you with him so he could cuddle you in a more comfortable position. “God, I’m sorry.” He told you and pulled you in for a hug. Pedro held you tightly to his side while you cried. You held onto his cardigan, pulling it into your fist and squeezed tightly. “Just let it out baby girl. I’ve got you and I won’t leave you.” he whispered, cracks in his voice since he became emotional.

After a while, your mom and her boyfriend stepped outside and you finally calmed down. Rage took it’s place as a defense mechanism. You all hang outside for a while until your mom and her boyfriend left. You convinced them that you would be okay and if you weren’t, would contact them. Besides, you had Pedro and he promised them to look after you.

Your feet were propped up on the table as you listened to the rain, heavily falling onto the roof, the fire crackling before you and the music softly playing on the background. “So… what are you going to do if you get an invitation for the funeral?” he asked and your expression looked pained again. “I won’t go.” You explained why.

“They’ve treated me so horrible… not only today but years even. And I kept going back. I just wanted to be loved but in that process, I’ve lost myself. I wanted a family that cared about me so badly that it almost didn’t matter what they would do. But they don’t love me. They’ve never seen the real me. They don’t care. I can’t afford reacting the same way as I used to. Never speaking up for myself or whatever. I’m not going to fight for this, neither do I want to. I’m done. I rather have no family at all, than them…. I’m done being okay with being treated with the BARE MINIMUM. I can’t and won’t let them.”

Pedro nodded. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I really admire you and the strength you carry. People can only wish to have 1/10 of the strength you have. I’m here, and will support and stand behind you with every decision you take. Let them lose you kiddo. Let them miss out on your big heart. They don’t deserve even a small part of the love you’re able to give. They don’t deserve you, baby girl. They really don’t.” The moment he talked about your big heart, you lost it and he hit you right in the feelings.

Your eyes started to water again and before you even knew it, the tears slipped. “Can you give me a hug?” you asked, voice broken as you softly broke down. What he said, hit very hard. It was like that little girl inside of you, felt seen for the first time. “Of course! Come here baby girl!” he stood up and pulled you into his chest again. You wrapped your arms around him and held his cardigan tightly in your fist. He placed his hand softly on the back of your head and placed multiple kisses on your head. “We’re going to be okay. You are going to be okay.” You nodded and cried. “I need you to know, that I do love you. Very much so, okay?” you nodded again.

After an hour and two videos further, you both decided to head upstairs. You were exhausted, yet your mind kept wandering back to the events that took place earlier. You got into bed and Pedro walked into your room, not wanting you to be alone and neither did you want too. He crawled in next to you and you immediately clang to him. His arm underneath you, pulling you closer, your head on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat and breathing, hoping that you could keep your focus on that but tears slipped silently. Pedro didn’t noticed that you were crying until his shirt started to get wet and you finally sniffled your nose softly.

He got you out of the hug for a minute and held your hand and got into the corner again. You let your head rest on his chest. You were mentally and physically exhausted and still had some rough days ahead of you. “I’m so tired Pedge… I really am.” He softly shushed you. “I know baby girl, I know.”

After you finally calmed down. “I know something fun to watch. I don’t want to go to bed immediately. Need some distraction.” You told Pedro as you chugged your wine in. He gave you a soft smile and nodded. You got a new, stronger joint along side your laptop from inside. It was peaceful outside with the rain (and now thunder from afar). You put the heather on and placed your laptop on your, stretched out legs and searched for what you wanted to. Something easy to watch, yet something that would keep your attention. You found what you wanted and leaned against Pedro. Pedro took the laptop from your legs and placed it on his own so you could get comfortable.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay princess.” He told you. “I’m not going to let this happen just like this. When I see Maria, she’s going to hear what I have to say. I’m not letting her take my right of speech.” You sniffled. “You know I’ll support you. I know you’re strong enough. Stronger than she could ever wish to be. And I know how intense you can get too. You do, what you need to do, to process this and if that’s, speaking your mind to her. Than you should and I’ll be right beside you.” he told you, kissing your head.

“Thank you Pedge. For showing me what love is.” Pedro smiled softly. “And I’ll never stop.” He comforted you. “Goodnight.” You told him softly. “Goodnight baby girl. And wake me up if you can’t sleep or for anything okay?” you nodded. “Promise?” he asked you softly. “I promise.” Pedro kissed the top of your head as a reaction. You closed your eyes, knowing that you needed sleep for whatever bullshit was coming your way, knowing that it wasn’t over yet. But you were strong. Stronger than you ever thought you could be and even stronger than that. It was going to take time, a lot of time to get over this and heal from it. But for now, you needed sleep if you were going to survive this battle you had to face.

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