#hes so much more tragic than i understood him to be huh

[dolllce]

​† ​​†​ Very quick sketch of a looong haired Tatsumi 'cause my body has been beating my ass since my hospital stay back in march. Given that experience, I like to think I understand him just a little more than before † ​​†​

[bebe-writes-stuff]

Hey lovely!! I love your work and I was wondering if you can do a baji x reader smut with like a friends to lovers where he gets jealous when one of his friends make a move on you as a joke but he can’t take it seeing y/n all happy’ with a. Anna that’s not him and can u please include where someone walks in on them at the end and he says something about how they became a couple like someone walks in and he he’s like “ can you ye out I’m trying to help my girlfriend clean up!” I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH I have read so much of ur stuff BbBbdbdbbdbd

Ima be honest, I wrote this when I was high so like, idek if this makes sense

Jealous! Baji x Reader (Smut)

Annoyed by your lack of attention, he huffed and puffed, and you still didn't say anything,

"What are you even reading that you are so invested in?" He muttered glancing at your book before pouting and setting his eyes aside.

"Huh, you don't know?" You turned to him and showed him your book cover.

Romeo and Juliet

"Ew, what the hell. Who the hell even reads that in their free time." He cringed at your sappy choice of book taste.

"Shut up will you, it's for the Drama Club. It's the annual play, other schools come and parents also come. I auditioned for fun, but I got the main role, Juliet." You explained, before someone abruptly opened the empty classroom door, it was lunch time.

"Woah, Y/n, did you actually join the annual play?!" It was Chifuyu, he was breathing and seemed...flustered.

"Oh, yeah. how'd you know?" You asked, tilting your head a little worried.

"The flyers are literally being passed out everywhere, look!" He unrolled the flyer and then slammed it on one of the desks.

You took a peek before,

"Woah.."

"Huh?-"

It was you and Ryusei Satou on the cover. You had a dagger in your hand aimed high at yourself as you knelt on your dead lover's body, Ryusei was lying on the floor with poison that fell in drops from his mouth, the tragic fate of Romeo and Juliet. On the cover, you looked just so beautiful, you looked alluring. Your eyes were magnetic, drawing people in with a combination of elegance and genuine warmth. Baji understood why you would be Juliet, no one fit better, you were beautiful both in and out, gentle, graceful, oh he could go on and on about you. He never liked to admit it, he loved you too much. But why was that asshole Ryusei, Romeo, he thought angrily.

The next couple of weeks, Baji has barely seen you. So imagine how he felt when he heard that the entire time you were with Ryusei practicing for the upcoming play. Almost as if you cheated on him, not like you were dating anyway. He didn't mean to stop, he really didn't. But when he heard your voice from outside the theater room, he stopped to listen. Even your voice made him flushed and nervous. However, he froze when he peeked in and saw how Ryusei had you in his arms as he performed dramatically. You were smiling and laughing even. You looked so happy with another guy, it broke his heart. He felt like punching him, or anyone at this point. It was now after school, Chifuyu stopped by Baji's apartment to study for upcoming exams and projects. Then he asked when he noticed how Baji seemed more angry than usual.

"Are you upset that Y/n and Ryusei are gonna kiss?" he shouldn't have said that.

"WHAT, THEY KISS?!" He shouted

"Ohh, I shouldn't have said that..."

"She can't- No- UGHH CAN SHE QUIT THAT STUPID PLAY ALREADY?" Baji groaned, throwing his books to the side before slamming his head on his desk.

"This is so stupid." He pulled onto his hair. He stopped and turned to Chifuyu, who muttered something.

"You got something to say?"

"Baji, she was gonna ask you to do the auditions with her but you turned her down for the gang, Also the play is in a couple days so I think it's too late to pull out now." He repeated himself, a little anxious.

Wait, he thought, was it that one time? Shit, he does remember when he turned down your request, you looked so sad and he promised to make it up to you, which he forgot to do. Fuck.

Now, it was Chifuyu's turn to be worried because of Baji's sudden absences. He couldn't be that affecting because of a silly play, right? C'mon that's Toman's First Division Captain, he can't be acting all childish and clingy when it comes to you, right? Wrong, he was in his room walking back and forth, whining about it.

Baji stayed home the day of the play, until he got a text from Chifuyu.

-- Holy shit, there's so many people at the school dude!"

He groaned and put his phone down, obviously people came. You were too unreal, too siren-like. He heard a knock on his door, it was his mom.

"Chifuyu told me what's been going on. I'm not here to talk to you because in truth, I think you deserve it. You had a chance and you wasted it and made her wait. And you know worst of all, YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT UP TO HER, and here you are being all childish and sad about the consequences to your own actions. If I were you, I would take my ass there and make it up to her." She scolded him, maybe it sounded harsh, but it was out of love, she was sad that he was putting himself through this.

"yeah, LIKE I KNOW HOW. AT THIS POINT, just let them be." He sighed defeated,

"Don't give me that bull. You know how Kei, I know what you've been doing." She said in a smug motherly tone.

He felt his face grow hot quickly as he glanced at the copy of the play he had read.

Stupid, he thought

He heard his mother's footsteps fade as she walked away once their conversation died out. She was right, Baji knew what to do, and he was gonna make it up to you, tonight!

Backstage, you were nervous, shaking even. You were wearing a silky and fancy long nightgown. It was a scene where you are on the balcony of your room confessing your love to the hidden Romeo as he listens to your heart-filled speech. The play was nearing its end, which meant it was closing to where you had to kiss Romeo or more specifically, Ryusei. Which you found extremely awkward. You noticed Chifuyu in the crowd earlier in the play, he was waving and cheering. However, it saddened you how Baji didn't come, he probably had another important gang meeting, you thought. It was the final scene now. You were getting ready to step on stage before you heard some ruckus in the background, before you had time to figure out. The play started and you stepped onto the stage. You talked clearly and passionately, You called out to your lover, this is when Ryusei was to step out and capture you in a breathtaking kiss after some sensual words. You waited, but no one came out. You called out again, nervously.

Suddenly, from the opposing curtain, he walked out. The stage lighting made the moment feel unreal, wait am I imagining this? Why was the one that stepped out of the curtain, it was Baji, it was really Baji. You gasped before you continued with your act. it was subtle but you glanced at Chifuyu who seemed also equally confused. Finally, the play was gonna end, the last scene was a recreation of the Flyer. Romeo and Juliets end. You stabbed yourself with Romeo's dagger as you fell onto Romeo's poisoned body. The crowd roared with 'woos" and cheers as they applauded loudly. You felt hands grip your waist, Baji whispered,

"Y/n, meet me in the costume closet after this. It's important."

What the hell was going on? you thought, first, Baji is distancing himself from you, then he shows up randomly in the play you in AND KISSES YOU. and NOW, he wants to talk to you alone after the play. But if you wanted to find out, you'd have to confront him. It was later after the show now, you were in front of the costume closet, no one was back there. You took a deep breath before entering, Baji was waiting, leaning against the wall.

"Hey Baji, what's up?"

"Keisuke, My name's Keisuke."

"Ookay...Keisuke."

He hated how awkward you seemed around him, he wanted you to laugh and smile like how you were with Ryusei. He sighed as he stood up and approached you, suddenly you were pushed against one of the walls.

"Y/n, do you hate me?" He whispered, coming in closer, leaving little space between your lips.

No, quite the opposite actually, you thought, but you couldn't say that. You just looked to the side avoiding his gaze. He gritted his teeth harshly

"Look at me damnit!" He growled as he forced you to look at him directly.

"Tch, you like this don't you?" He smirked as he toyed with you. He grabbed your face, roughly and chuckled. You glanced at his lips as you both closed in on each other, your eyes locked in an electric gaze, anticipation hung in the air like a delicate melody. The world seemed to pause as your lips met, creating an intimate universe where only the soft whispers of your breaths and the tender exchange of kisses existed. His hands delicately cradled your face, and your fingers entwined in the strands of his hair. The kiss unfolded like a choreography of emotions, starting with a tender exploration and building into a passionate crescendo. Time seemed to slow down, allowing you to savor every fleeting moment of this shared intimacy. Your breath hitched as you felt Baji placing soft kisses and even nibbling on your sensitive neck. The warmth of his lips, coupled with the gentle pressure and softness of the kisses, created the obvious tension and the sense of both of your intimacy and arousal.

"Y/n, I'm gonna fuck you now." He already had his hand in your costume.

"Fuck, your this wet because of me, you're not scared of being caught, You little slut." You whimpered as you rode his fingers,

"K-keisuke, wait- I-" You tried to formulate a sentence but your moans cut you off.

"Uh, Y/n! Baji! Are you guys here?" You gasped as you put both your hands on your mouth, controlling your moans.

"Huh?! What you want, Chifuyu! Can't you see I'm helping my girlfriend change out of her costume, go now!"

Embarrassed, Chifuyu runs out, He sighed,

"You were right... Ryusei."

"Told ya." He smirked as he knew, the only way to get Baji to make a move on you was to make him a little jealous. 

[deancasforcutie]

While we’re I’llJustWaitHereThen.mp3 for Act Two of The Winchesters -or rather thee reboot, which should be known for the extra high bar it’s gained this year- I’d like us to round off 2023 considering a song choice from the finale I haven’t seen discussed, but illuminates Dean’s path going forward.

The moment Dean, Jack, Bobby, and Baby disappear, “One of These Things First” by Nick Drake plays. For the curious, Nick Drake is ingrained in the cultural consciousness as a precursor to the likes of Kurt Cobain and Elliott Smith for his musical talent, melancholic lyrics drawn from a troubled life, and (at 26, one year too young for the original 27 Club of Jimi Janis Jim Morrison) untimely tragic death.

Such allusions seem all too pertinent to our not-so-Mystery Man who’d also sooner burn out than fade away, huh? But first and foremost, “One of These Things First” here evokes the multiverse reveal - playing over scenes of Lata helping restore Ada’s soul and Mary and Samuel parting. The characters could be any number of things, but as Mary says of her possible alternate selves, “I’m gonna make my own”; with the meta knowledge that Dean is “picking the music” non-diegetically, this track’s relevance to his own life (and death) becomes apparent.

I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook A real live lover, could have been a book

From the start we see well-chosen lyrics for thee episode of Dean “Hello Sailor” Winchester; it goes without saying, here and in the series’ deafeningly loud negative space, how Dean’s desire to be “a real live lover” drives his search for happy endings in this Supernatural Romance. Genius.com notes that “a book” in Nick Drake’s metaphor means “someone who spent their time gaining knowledge about the world”; leaving them his own book, evidently a record of Supernatural’s main events and likely intended as a setup for revelations about his postseries shenanigans, Dean becomes their absent guide opposite John’s original series role through his journal.

I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock

Following lyrics about metaphorical objects also evoke Dean’s role as a guide - but given his view that “I think I did” find a model for his found family’s happiness in them, it goes both ways (and so does he).

I could be here and now I would be, I should be, but how?

These last few lyrics played in the episode call to mind the final undying core of Dean’s self-doubt: his inability to move on, like so many restless spirits parallel him. Dean’s sensation that he is not “here and now,” being unstuck in time and lamenting that he’s “already dead,” highlights his distance from the lead characters and their sense of closure - as does his use of the James Hetfield alias as a false name, dodging the central question of Who You Are. For all his heroism, Dean’s role as the central mystery never fully solved implicates him as the haunting force derailing another story into his own as much as any reality-warping trauma parasites.

Minding all these exhortations to mind the gap, it’s absolutely relevant that the episode omits a second verse centering on romantic longings. (It wouldn’t be the first time - “So on your woman and your child/You release your bitterness,” anyone?)

I could have been your pillar, could have been your door I could have stayed beside you, could have stayed for more I could have been your statue, could have been your friend A whole long lifetime could have been the end

Mary and Samuel’s exchange (“Be safe out there” “I love you too, kiddo”) continues the theme of Just Saying It before any goodbye - acknowledging you can say “I love you” without saying it and be understood. But apropos of everything, the romantic pair never exchanges what they promise they will on reuniting - at once begging the same question as Dean’s aborted love confession(s) to Cas (indicting the heteronormative double standard that makes the answer “obvious” here) and keeping their promise of no goodbyes, meaning “Ramble On” with its tale of a romantic reunion can only refer to one yet to come.

So with Dean left to learn that death is no goodbye for him either, The Winchesters reaffirms Supernatural’s humanistic heart: the conviction that -whether for great artists we romanticize or fictional characters representing our values- we need not mythologize and bemoan death as “robbing” the world of someone’s promise at the expense of affirming the intrinsically worthy human life as they are now and forever (we will all live forever no matter how dead we may sometimes seem to be). A life cut tragically short was still a life worth living, and its legacy one worth carrying on. And I can think of no truth more apt from the series cut short at 13 traxx we will nevertheless replay and remix and resonate with for years to come.

As we ramble on to future installments, I reiterate: “If you had the chance to do it all over again, would you?” “I followed my heart. I don’t think that’s ever a mistake.”

[ganondoodle]

okay more elden ring DLC spoilers below the read more

what fucks me up the most is ....... that we never actually get to meet the real actual Radahn, hes either a rotting zombie or some constructed meat puppet with a manipulated soul of his

the most we know is from the base game stuff, his men and everything, but we never get to meet him- and now ... it undermines the whole festival, i felt like it was sorrowful goodbye and attempt to grant him an honorable death- that made me fall for him in the end, the lore around that and the whole build up and vibe of it, it felt so genuine but now you cant feel that, bc you know .... either way he will be suffering, let him rot for all eternity being a threat to friend and foe alike, as this mindless monster chowing away at corpses like a beast when he used to be a powerful respected general

or kill him but instead of giving him the death he wanted his soul is instead grafted into a meat puppet by his half brother so he can be controlled and made to agree to marry him despite rejecting it in life (as far as i understood it, he definitely did reject it though bc otherwise malenia wouldnt have tried to assassinate him to get him delivered over)-

so theres no good answer and im left wondering, did his men know of that? im gonna guess no, bc the whole point of the festival was to bring him HONOR when there was nothing of his honor left, of him left, and theres no honor in being turned into a literal marionette for your half brothers sick play

you could call it tragic, and it is, but it feels so much more ..... like just wanting to violate him even in death, just because he hasnt suffered enough, lets make it even more horrible just for sufferings sake (like i get it, i like when my favs also get to suffer, what happened to him in the base game was a part of why i love him so much- but theres a limit to that imo) it takes away from so much of the festival and everything, you are not taking part in one last final battle so Radahn can die fighting, you are handing his soul over to his half brother that wants to use him like a puppet, LITERALLY, to make a mockery of his memory, make him do things he would never have if he was himself, i cant think of anything more horrible to do to him

and his people are utterly convinced they are doing right by him, when the rot was probably better than what miquella would do to him, as horrible as that was.. and if they WERE aware then wow ....... i guess miquella really had everyone on his side huh uwu, like that sucks even more, so none of them ever felt and cared about him or were all also brainwashed YIPPIIIE

(not to mention how much interesting miquella lore gets twisted into actually he was just a scheming little creep and everyone that followed him was quite literlally brainwashed- i know the whole bewitching thing is like, his thing, but MAN- it feels like whoops it was all a dream and it never actually happened when its done bad)

(and i know Radahn is a fictional character but people are gonna pin it on him i just know it, like espeically those that dont care about lore and are just there for the fights .... like its not his fault!!! and i felt like he was already hated enough, first by his too hard boss battle in base game and now in the DLC its a repeat of that even harder (though i find the complaints a lil >_> bc i have seen people just walk right over story bosses so just ... overlevel yourself if you want to do that too, you dont have to fight a boss for three days, explore and level up?) and it was already annoying how malenia defenders AND radahn defenders kept trying to make the other into some horrible asshat, when they are both not great and thats valid, but now its??? )

[mccall-muffin]

Love vs. Hate - Part 24 // Joe Liebgott x OC

Summary: Just as Liv was finally reunited with Joe, they are being separated once more. Her only light - Don. But then the horrors of war show their ugly face once more.

Warnings: Language, war wounds, loss

A/N: Have I already said that I kinda *hate* writing these things in Bastogne... It makes me feel sad :( And it only gets worse guys.

Here is my Masterlist

Taglist: @brassknucklespeirs, @liebgotts-lovergirl, @lieutenant-speirs, @mads-weasley, @emmylindersson

Late in the afternoon on January 3, we returned to our old position in the woods overlooking Foy. And it was a massacre. I walked next to Don, looking around, wondering what kind of hell the men must've been through.

"Holy fuck", I breathe and look at Don, who frowns.

Suddenly, we hear Joe Toye behind us, calling out. "You gotta be fucking kidding me. Someone's gonna die. Someone's gonna fucking die. Guarnere, look at this shit!"

I walked over to Joe. "What's got your panties in a bunch, Joe?"

"One of those 1st Battalion fuckers took a dump in my foxhole", he answers, and I lift my eyebrow, looking at him.

"I think they shit in everyone's foxhole, Joe," Bill chimes in and looks around. We are all thinking the same, as Bill says it. "I don't think they wanted to spend much time above ground."

While we were in the Bois Jacques, the Germans had been shelling our old position. There were signs of tree bursts everywhere. That got our attention.

As I navigate my way back to the foxhole that Don, Bill, and I have begrudgingly come to call 'home', the weight of command sits heavily on my shoulders, yet the camaraderie among us offers a peculiar comfort in this hellscape. The sight of the shattered woods, a grim reminder of the fury unleashed upon us, fails to dampen the spirit of defiance that binds us together.

Settling into the cramped space with Don, I catch him casting a sidelong glance, the kind that speaks volumes without a word needing to be passed between us. "I meant to ask you before... How did it go with Babe?" he finally inquires, his voice a mix of concern and curiosity. The question hangs in the air, a ghost of our last mission that had almost broken us.

Taking a deep breath, I recount the ordeal, not sparing the details of the harrowing decision to retreat under fire, leaving Julian's body behind. It was a moment that tested us all, pushing us to the brink of what we thought we could endure. "Babe was... devastated," I begin, the memory still fresh, painful. "He thought we'd left Julian behind for good. That we'd abandoned not just a fellow soldier, but a promise."

I pause, the weight of leadership and the decisions it forces upon you never getting lighter, only more familiar. "But we went back for him," I continue, the resolve in my voice mirroring the determination that had surged through us that day. "Took a few men, dodged more bullets than I care to count, and we got Julian. Got him and his belongings," I add, the tangible proof of our success being the personal effects we managed to salvage — a class ring, a wallet, and a watch, symbols of a life cut tragically short.

Don listens intently, his expression a mix of relief and respect. "And Babe?" he probes further, knowing all too well the emotional turmoil that must have followed.

A small smile tugs at my lips as I remember Babe's reaction. "Let's just say, he was more than relieved. He hugged me so tight I thought he might never let go," I admit, the raw emotion of the moment breaking through the soldier's facade I've had to maintain. "He understood then, the choices we have to make. That sometimes leadership isn't about the hard call, but about going back to make things right, even when the odds are against us."

Don nudges me gently, breaking the silence that had settled between us as we took refuge in the dimly lit foxhole, the sounds of war a constant echo in the background. "So, you finally saw Joe again, huh?" he asks, a hint of mischief in his tone, but not without a genuine interest. His gaze drifts to the scar beneath my eye, a permanent reminder of the war's brutality, now seen by Joe for the first time.

With a heavy sigh, I nod, the memory of the encounter flooding back with vivid clarity. "Yeah, I did," I start, the cold of the night biting at my skin, yet the warmth of the memory offering a temporary respite. "He... he saw this," I gesture to my scar, the words trailing off as the image of Joe stepping closer, his hand gently lifting my chin to meet his gaze, replays in my mind.

Don, sensing the depth of the moment, leans in closer, the flicker of interest in his eyes now mixed with concern. "How'd that go?" he prods gently, rolling a cigarette between his fingers, a habit that offers him a semblance of normalcy in the chaos that surrounds us.

Taking a deep breath, I let the scenes unfold, painting the picture of that raw, vulnerable exchange. "It was intense," I confess, the cold seeping through the fabric of my uniform doing little to dampen the warmth that memory ignites within me. "He just... wrapped me in his arms, Don. Said the only thing that mattered was that I was alive, standing in front of him." The words tumble out, a mix of awe and disbelief at the depth of emotion Joe had displayed.

The mention of tears and the overwhelming comfort found in Joe's embrace brings a softness to Don's usually playful demeanor. "God damn," he murmurs, lighting the cigarette now perched between his lips, the glow briefly illuminating his face in the darkness. "Sounds like a goddamn movie scene, Sweetheart."

I chuckle, despite the seriousness of our conversation. "Felt like it, too," I admit, the reality of the war creeping back as the sound of distant artillery fire reminds us of our present. "He said he missed me, Don. That he couldn't stop thinking about me. And I... I told him the same."

Don takes a drag from his cigarette, the smoke curling into the night air, a silent testament to our shared anxieties and fears. "You two are something else, you know that?" he says, exhaling slowly. "Fucking war tearing everything apart, and here you two are, finding your way back to each other."

The conversation shifts then, to the uncertainty of tomorrow, the constant danger we face, and the stark reality that any moment could be our last. Yet, in recounting that moment with Joe, a glimmer of hope flickers to life in the depths of my heart.

"Yeah," I agree, a wistful smile playing on my lips. The weight of Joe's words, the promise of a future uncertain yet filled with the possibility of moments stolen from the clutches of war, settles around us like a blanket, offering a semblance of comfort in the cold.

Don nods, his expression softening. "You hang onto that, Sweetheart. Whatever this fucking war throws at us, you hang onto that hope." He flicks the remnants of his cigarette into the darkness, the ember briefly lighting up the night before fading into oblivion.

"Yeah," I whisper, the resolve strengthening within me. "Together."

And as we sit in silence, the camaraderie between us a steadfast anchor amidst the chaos, I can't help but cling to the promise of a future where the war is but a distant memory, and love, in all its forms, triumphs over the desolation that seeks to consume us.

The sudden appearance of Lip cuts through the night like a knife, his voice low but firm as he reminds us of the noise and light discipline. The reminder snaps us back to reality, the gravity of our situation pressing down like a physical weight. "Don, Bill, Liv, keep it down," he says, a sharp edge to his voice that brooks no argument. "Liv, need you to make a few rounds, check on everyone."

Without a moment's hesitation, I nod, understanding the necessity of his request. "Got it, Lip," I respond, my tone equally serious. Pulling my jacket tighter around me, I step out into the cold night, the air crisp and unforgiving as I begin my rounds, the solemn responsibility of checking on my brothers-in-arms weighing heavily on my shoulders.

The camp is eerily quiet as I move from foxhole to foxhole, the muted whispers of my comrades barely breaking the silence. The tension is palpable, a silent testament to the constant threat looming over us. And then, without warning, the ominous sound of incoming bombings shatters the stillness, a terrifying harbinger of chaos.

"Incoming!" My voice cuts through the night, a desperate warning as I sprint back towards our foxhole. The echo of Lip's voice amplifies the alarm, his command carrying across the camp with urgency. "Get to cover!" he yells, mirroring my own panic.

Don's voice reaches me next, laced with concern and fear. "Liv!" he calls out, the single word a plea for my safety. My heart races, adrenaline surging as I navigate the treacherous path back, the sounds of explosions growing closer with each passing second.

Finally, I slip into our foxhole, the familiar faces of Don and Bill a sight for sore eyes. "I'm here," I pant, barely catching my breath as we huddle together, bracing for the impact. The world outside explodes into chaos, the deafening roar of bombs tearing through the night, obliterating everything in their path. We cling to each other, a desperate bid for comfort in the face of impending doom.

And then, as suddenly as it began, silence falls, a haunting absence of sound that is almost more terrifying than the bombardment itself. We remain still, barely daring to breathe, the aftermath of the attack settling around us like a heavy blanket. The smoke, the debris, the stench of explosives hanging in the air—it's a scene from a nightmare, yet all too real.

Don's hand finds mine in the darkness, his grip tight and reassuring. Bill is beside us, his presence a silent pillar of strength. We don't need words; our shared experiences, the bond forged in the crucible of war, speak volumes. In this moment, in the aftermath of terror, we are reminded of the fragility of life and the unbreakable bond that ties us together.

The silence that envelops us in the aftermath of the bombing is suffocating, a stark contrast to the chaos that had reigned moments before. We're left in a limbo, the uncertainty of whether it's truly over hanging heavy in the air. Don, ever the proactive one among us, breaks the tense silence first. "We should check if anyone was hit," he suggests, his voice low but filled with concern.

Bill, however, is quick to remind us of the grim reality we face. "That's exactly what they want, Malark" he counters, his tone grave. "For us to pop our heads up so they can pick us off." The wisdom in his words is undeniable, a hard-earned lesson from countless nights just like this one. Yet, the tension between the need to help our brothers and the instinct for self-preservation is palpable.

Then, cutting through the night, a sound none of us can ignore reaches our ears—a whimper, followed by painful moaning and then desperate cries for help. It's a sound that chills to the bone, the unmistakable voice of a man in agony.

"You hear that?" asks Don.

"Is that Joe?" adds Bill, and the three of us look in the direction the cries for help are coming from.

Recognition dawns on us simultaneously; it's Joe Toye. The realization hits like a physical blow, the urgency to act clashing with the knowledge of the risk involved.

Bill's reaction is immediate; his decision is made the moment he recognizes the voice of his best friend. "I'm going to check on him," he declares, determination etching his features. It's a testament to the bonds forged in the heat of battle, the unspoken vow to never leave a man behind.

But as he makes to move, I reach out, grabbing his arm in a desperate attempt to hold him back. "Bill, it's too dangerous," I plead, the fear of losing another person close to me making my voice tremble. The thought of Bill—or anyone else—venturing out into what could very well be a death trap is unbearable.

Bill, however, is unwavering, the resolve in his eyes unshakable. "I can't leave him out there," he states firmly, his voice laced with an emotion that brooks no argument. It's a declaration of loyalty, of the deep-seated belief that we are all we have out here, the only family within reach amidst the horrors of war.

The conflict within me is torturous. The strategic part of my mind screams that Bill's impulse, while noble, could lead to disaster. Yet, the human part, the part that has seen too much death and too much suffering, understands all too well. In this hellish landscape, where tomorrow is never promised, the bonds of friendship, of brotherhood, become our strongest lifeline.

As Bill prepares to brave the unknown for Joe, the weight of command, of responsibility, bears down on me. It's a harrowing reminder of the choices we are forced to make and the risks we take for those we consider family. In the end, all we can do is cover for him, pray, and wait, hoping against hope that both Bill and Joe make it back to us. The reality of war spares no one, but it's in these moments of selfless bravery that the true strength of our bonds is tested.

The night turns into a living nightmare as Bill disappears into the darkness, his determination to reach Joe pushing him beyond the relative safety of our foxhole. The minutes stretch into an agonizing eternity, each second ticking by with the weight of a lifetime. And then, as if the very heavens conspire against us, another barrage of bombings rains down, each explosion closer, more ferocious than the last.

Don reacts instinctively, pulling me close, our bodies pressed tightly together in a futile attempt to offer each other some semblance of protection. The ground shakes beneath us, the air filled with the deafening roar of explosions and the ear-splitting shrieks of incoming artillery. We're caught in the maelstrom, powerless against the fury unleashed around us.

As the cacophony dies down, leaving behind a ringing silence, my frustration and fear boil over. "Fucking hell, Bill's a goddamn idiot," I grumble into the darkness, anger laced with dread at the thought of what might have happened to him and Joe. My heart races, pounding against my chest as if trying to escape the inevitable truth of war's cruelty.

Don, ever the voice of reason even in the midst of chaos, catches the shift in my posture. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he asks, his voice tight with concern.

But before I can answer, a desperate call pierces the night, cutting through the remnants of explosions and the heavy silence that follows. "Medic!" The call, repeated, becomes a beacon, guiding me towards the source, towards my duty.

"Doing my job," I say, a determined edge to my voice as I pull away from Don's protective embrace. "Stay down," I instruct him and the others I pass, each step taking me closer to the unknown.

Then, almost colliding with Lip in the dim light, I barely register his presence before the sight before us brings me to a standstill. My blood turns to ice, the scene unfolding like a grotesque tableau of war's indiscriminate brutality. There lie Bill and Joe Toye, their bodies a testament to the horror of what we're fighting against. Joe's leg is a mangled mess, blown off from the knee down, while Bill's is similarly destroyed, the carnage nearly too much to comprehend.

"Fucking hell," the words escape me, a whisper lost in the chaos. The reality hits hard, the sight of two of my brothers reduced to this state, igniting a fury and sorrow so profound it threatens to overwhelm me.

But this is no time for despair. Shaking off the shock, I kneel beside them, my training taking over as I try to assist Doc Roe with assessing their injuries. The urgency is palpable, every second counting as I help to stabilize them, to do what I can amidst the madness.

This is the reality of war, a reality we live day in and day out. It's brutal, unforgiving, and indiscriminate in its cruelty.

As Doc Roe and I work in tandem, the urgency of the situation tying our movements together with practiced efficiency, Bill's voice cuts through the tension. "Gimme a smoke, would ya?" he asks, his voice strained but tinged with that unmistakable Philly accent, rough around the edges but familiar in its resilience.

Without hesitation, I fish out a cigarette from my pack, lighting it and placing it gently between his lips. Turning to Joe, I offer him one as well, our eyes meeting in a silent exchange of solidarity and understanding. The simple act, mundane under any other circumstances, takes on a profound significance here amidst the snow and blood.

I can't help but glance back at Bill, a mix of admonishment and relief in my eyes. "Told you it was too fucking dangerous," I say, the words heavy with the weight of what could have been lost. But Bill, even in pain, manages a laugh, a sound that carries more warmth than the cold night air could ever leech from us.

"Sweetheart, you know me..." he says, the term carrying with it the weight of all the battles we've fought together, a testament to the bond forged in the crucible of war. It's a farewell, though neither of us says it, as he's loaded onto a stretcher and carried away, his silhouette disappearing into the night.

Joe follows soon after, the severity of his injuries casting a pall over the makeshift triage area. As he's taken away, the reality of the situation, the sheer brutality and randomness of it all, finally hits. I'm left kneeling in the snow, the cold seeping through my uniform, a stark reminder of the harshness of our existence.

The hand that falls on my shoulder is both unexpected and immensely comforting. Don, his presence a steady constant in the ever-changing chaos of war, stands beside me, his own grief and concern mirrored in his eyes. Don, like me, was close with Guarnere and Toye, the bonds of brotherhood tying us all together in ways that words can scarcely describe.

"Fucking hell, Liv," he murmurs, his voice a mix of anger, sorrow, and exhaustion. "This is a goddamn mess." His grip tightens, a silent show of support, of shared pain and determination to keep moving forward, no matter the cost.

"Yeah, it is," I reply, my voice low, the enormity of the night's events settling in. Together, we stand in silence, a moment of mourning for what's been lost and what's still at stake. The war rages on, indifferent to the lives it upends, the dreams it shatters.

But in this moment, there's a silent vow made between us, a promise to keep fighting, not just for our survival, but for those who can no longer stand beside us. The bond we share, strengthened by adversity, becomes our beacon in the darkness, guiding us forward in a world torn asunder by war.

As we help each other up, ready to face whatever comes next, the resolve in our hearts is clear. We will endure, we will fight, and we will remember. For Bill, for Joe, for all those we've lost. This is our burden, our honor, and our duty.

As I look up, I see George standing there, still looking down at the place where Bill and Joe just lay. I walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder when Lip walks up to us.

"How's Buck?" he asks, and we all look over to where Buck is sitting on a log, rubbing his face. George doesn't answer. "Luz, how's Buck?"

"He- He's fine." George finally answers, and Lip looks at me.

"You sure?", Lip asks.

"Yes, he's fine," George repeats and looks at Lip.

I sigh deeply, my gaze wandering to Buck once more before I look back at Lip. "I think you should probably go talk to him now."

Lip looks back at me and slowly nods. "All right."

[the-priestess-of-dawn]

Since I've been thinking about fe12 recently naturally I started thinking about my favorite fe12 character Katarina (she's like... my 4th favorite for fe overall, but since Grima/Robin and Chrom are number 1 and 2 and SO far ahead of everyone else that it's kind of unfair, she's basically second place when it comes to characters who have NOT infected me with constant and irremediable brainrot).

Specifically I'm thinking about how the scene she has with Marth when she joins and how if she had her way she would have had Marth execute her, but...

"You're just running from your sins." MARTH GO OFF!!!

"If you truly regret what you've done, then live. I want you to atone with your life, not your death." YES MARTH DESTROY THE REDEMPTION IN DEATH TROPE!!!

Look, Marth might not be my most beloved fe protagonist of all time, but he gets MAJOR points for this conversation ALONE. And honestly it is all the more tragic how his descendants get so caught up in the cycle of violence and vengeance when Marth already understood that justice does not mean killing everyone who has done you wrong. Oh BOY did the exalted line ever lose the plot there.

I know Lucina is the one who gets compared to Marth most, and Tiki even says that Chrom is more similar to one of Marth's ancestors than Marth himself, but honestly Chrom's "You are yourself, before you are any man's son/daughter." really does echo "You will think for yourself and find your own answer." I think Marth would be really proud of him for that response to finding out his best friend is the child of someone who came to assassinate his sister.

And, haha, speaking of Grima brainrot...

I REALLY WISH CHROM HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO ROBIN, YOU KNOW???

Ugh, Robin my beloved. I want to freeze time, like, right here

Okay, not necessarily here. This is... fair enough for a heroic sacrifice...

Uh-huh, this tracks...

There! Can we freeze right there? Robin what the FUCK are you saying? These two lines why I can never be at peace with the sacrifice ending no matter how you frame the narrative. "It's only right" that Robin dies with Grima??? No. No!

See, if it weren't for that specific line, we could just accept that Robin is doing something they don't really want to do and that they know will hurt people because they truly believe it's the only way to truly protect the future, but... no. When they say "It's only right we meet our end together." it becomes something else. Is this REALLY the only way to protect the people of the future (Chrom doesn't think it is. The rest of the Shepherds don't think it is either, which you can see from their lines if you choose to let Chrom land the final blow) or are you just trying to run from your past life, Robin? To escape the weight of what you've done and what you see now that you're capable of doing all over again? Is there anything heroic or even "sacrificial" if saving the world is just the convenient excuse for getting rid of yourself?

Chrom would agree with Marth's feelings. He would say "If you truly regret what you've done, then live." But he CAN'T because Robin did not reveal this extremely distressing line of thinking until the absolute last second before landing the final blow on Grima and ensuring their own death. Of course Chrom would never speak a word against Robin after that. Frankly, I think he was kind of robbed. (And kind of on purpose... When you think about it, is there really THAT much difference between Grima trying to make Robin look like a tragic hero by offering that yes/no choice to submit to them vs Robin becoming a tragic hero by "sacrificing" themself at the end of a grand final battle?)

Anyway, I would absolutely love to see a Robin/Katarina harmonic in FEH someday... I think if that ever happened, Katarina would probably say something about Robin reminding her of Kris (because Avatars) but really, Robin is so much like her that I'd just love to see them talk to each other about literally anything.

(Also, on a slightly tangential note... I know that in canon, Robin strikes Chrom with Thoron at the Dragon's Table, but I feel like as a fandom we are really missing out by not taking some artistic liberties and making it Katarina's Bolt instead. I mean. The SYMBOLISM. Especially when it comes to good timeline Robin, who might think to bring that tome to the Dragon's Table instead of Thoron because it has lower might.)

[knoxs2nd]

i feel like the resident george/shannon and jessica/kanon apologist but it bugs me to treat them as lesser than yasu's relationship with battler when a big part of yasu being more closed off to them is because she has relationship trauma from battler.

yasu was so open with battler because he was her first love. she felt comfortable sharing about herself, telling him in her own way that she loved him, and just...being herself! meanwhile, with george and jessica, it's this whole dance of maintaining distance to avoid hurt

yasu has HUGE issues with taking their love confessions seriously or showing that she might even return those feelings in any meaningful way. george tells her he means to propose and shannon doesn't really say much because that sounds like making a promise to be broken. back when battler told shannon about his plan to take her away she immediately responded that she'd be waiting for him. with george and jessica, though, yasu doesn't say anything or actively pushes them away even though she loves them back.

also talking about just how comfortable yasu is with sharing about herself with george and jessica...not much! just more potential avenues to maybe connect with them further and fall in love with them!

yasu wanted love but also was scared of falling in love after being hurt...a huge theme of the series is how love is all-consuming. yasu trying to hedge her love like that hurt her further, because she felt like she could never be truly loved or understood for her true self.

george/shannon and kanon/jessica are just. post-relationship trauma yasu. trauma really makes you feel like you can never connect with others in the same way huh. this is who she is and how she involves herself in relationships now...

i do love how ep6 is so devoted to showing how george/shannon jessica/kanon and battler/beatrice are "equal." not really talking about beabato here but for george/shannon and kanon/jessica it's about shannon and kanon being more open, sharing about themselves, and talking about their feelings!!

shannon shares cute stories from her childhood! she talks about her own past! kanon tells jessica that yeah, actually he really does like her! sure, he'd love to learn music with her and connect over a shared hobby!

tohya's showing yasu how these new relationships she started after being hurt by love and feeling like she can never, ever have the same sort of pure untainted love she'd experienced in her childhood...can still flourish and be loving and fulfilling relationships...

also, the magic ending in all this? pain

to yasu, battler represents her pure, untainted, pre-trauma feelings towards love and being accepted. when he accepts her, yasu rejects it saying, essentially, she's too sinful and traumatized now to experience that sort of love. she can never return to the person she was before, who would have eagerly and happily accepted battler's feelings. the person she is now, has to reject him and free him to live his own life through jumping off the boat.

the fact that it was battler is so tragic. why did it have to be the person who saw yasu and who reminded her of her younger, happier, hopeful, past self.

battler's trying to offer yasu her future but all she can see is her past.

her past self no longer exists and no longer can be be loved. her future self shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be loved. so, of course, yasu rejects battler and the acceptance he represents, believing the best she can do is preserve this catbox and this precious moment she feels she can be loved.

[colemonroe]

Snorting a bright laugh, he glanced down at her, head knocking in a brief shake just moments before another one of his sly looks graced his features, “Look, I only aim to please, alright? Might not be able to dance like you, but I can make it work.” Of course he was only teasing, but the fact that he was able to do so this freely with her spoke volumes– he wasn’t this open with everyone, but he’d always felt safe enough to be around Taliah. Eyeing the sky again, he shrugged a shoulder and sighed, “I mean, makes sense– most men have small heads,” he pointed out, though it wasn’t as though he was counting himself in a different category. That’d be for someone else to decide, but still, he wasn’t ignorant to how stupid his species could be. Apparently, astronomers weren’t either.

Humming thoughtfully, he nodded, sure that that spoke for itself. Michael had taken Cole under his wing when he’d been at his most vulnerable, still reeling from his mother’s tragic, unexpected death. Without his guidance, Cole didn’t even want to imagine where he would have ended up. Chuckling then, he shook his head, “Nah, dead serious,” about Bellatrix, “debated not even tellin’ ya, didn’t wanna ruin Orion for ya.” Softening, he glanced down at her, a warm smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, though it was tinged with a touch of sadness. He understood where Taliah was coming from and the look in his eyes said as much. “I dunno, darlin’,” he murmured, head shaking gently, “Maybe he’s got someone like you though.” To anyone else, maybe it would have sounded crazy, the way they spoke about a star, but to Cole, it felt pretty spot on and needed no explanation, not with her. 

“Mmhmm– and ‘cause it always brings me back,” he explained, though really, he was keeping it brief. If prompted, he could go on and on about his love for Polaris all night– until he was blue in the face. Though if he was being honest, he could do the same whenever he talked about her. Leaning into her touch as she reached up to cup his cheek, he offered up a warm smile, “Thank ya for lettin’ me,” Cole thought to counter, knowing that there were very few people he could actually do this with– even fewer he’d actually want to. 

In a lot of ways, perhaps the kiss should have been surprising, but in other ways, it wasn’t. The two of them had always spoken the same language– where words tended to fail, touch never did. They were so well attuned to one another by now that Cole would never even dream of balking at the kiss, but rather, he leaned into it, letting it say all the things neither one of them really had words for. He didn’t need them anyway. She’d always shown him more than words could possibly say. Cole didn’t want to overthink it. Really and truly, he only wanted to keep kissing her, to get lost in that warm familiarity, that security that only she could give him. 

Tipping his head to the side, a sly grin forming on his lips, he picked up on her silent cues, head dropping down right along with her, “Always, huh?” He chuckled, meeting her halfway for another brief kiss, “Kinda like the sound of that,” he murmured, one hand keeping him propped upright while the other washed up her side, traveling over every perfect dip and curve before finally bunching up in her shirt. Was this where they would’ve ended up at the fair, had their time in the photobooth not been cut short? Who knew, really? All Cole cared about was right now and he had a hard time imagining anything he wanted more than this– this safe, secure feeling here with her.  A warm smile caught fire at the corner of his mouth and spread like wildfire at her question. “Of course,” he murmured, lips finding hers as if to drive the point home. This would always be okay, whatever this was. But now wasn’t the time for him to debate it– only trust it. Feeling the push of her hands, he sat up, shrugging out of his cut and tossing it aside. Hauling his shirt overhead soon after, he discarded it just as easily and dropped back down to her, running a hand through her hair and beaming a soft, yet crooked grin at her. “Better?” Cole mumbled against her lips, catching her bottom lip between his teeth, “I want ya, T– that alright?”

"Well, I'll keep that in mind. There have been many occasions where watching your naked ass walking around would have brightened my entire day." Taliah giggles, whilst it was a joke, she couldn't say it wasn't also true. As far as the male form goes, she was almost certain Cole had been hand-crafted by god himself. "Maybe he isn't, he could have a really small head?" Grinning, she couldn't help the soft sigh that escapes her. Like she can actually feel the relief in her bones and the happiness settling in her heart. Whether it was the beauty of the night sky, or the love she could feel radiating from the man she was curled up against, she wasn't going to question it. It was about damn time she could take a breath without it feeling like such a struggle.

"When you needed guidance the most," she smiles softly. Cole didn't need her to tell him how Michael always had that way about him, a rare kindness that always dissolved into patience and a will to help his people. It was obvious to anyone who knew him, just as it was obvious how his influence had shaped the man Cole had turned into. "You're joking? ... Slimy bitch gets everywhere," Bellatrix, that was. "That's my point. Everyone looks to Sirius, who does Siruis look to?" Chuckling gently, it's just a show to acknowledge she knows it doesn't make much sense, though she had a feeling he would understand her true meaning - he always did.

"Because it's constant?" She asks, though she doesn't really expect an answer. It was more an out-loud thought, if Polaris never moved, that meant it never strayed - you always knew it would be there when you needed its light. "I guess it did." Stick. Taliah smiles, blindly lifting a hand up to briefly cup his cheek. "Thank you for sharing this with me." She wants him to know that it means a lot. Especially now she knows just how personal it is for him. It wasn't just a place he liked to come and take a breath, but a place laced with history, memories that he cherished.

Taliah could feel the weight of his words sitting in her chest, like they were seeping into all the dark spaces just to show them light. No words she could speak would be strong enough to convey what his meant to her, perhaps it was a big part of her reasoning for deciding to show him with actions instead. Often, when she was overwhelmed, it was actions that she chose to let speak for her and she hoped that just maybe, she could pour enough emotion into her kiss that he would feel how sincere it was. There's a doe-eyed look on her features, only for a moment wondering if she's overstepped. Though, when he tells her not to be sorry, a smile breaks out, cut short only by the way he initiates a second kiss. How easily she fell into step with him in such an intimate way would be pause for thought if she wanted to stop and give it any. Not tonight.

Tonight, she only wanted to bask in the familiarity of it, the feeling of being wrapped up and safe, present with her person. Random kissing had never been a part of their friendship, at least not until the carnival, but could you really consider two times a pattern? What it did show though, was that small shift that was yet to be explained. Something new between them, simmering away in the air that surrounded them. "For you?" A soft giggle escapes her as she lowers her head back down, prompting him to follow her. "Always." As true now as it was that day in the photobooth, only now there wasn't any inpatient crowd outside to ruin the moment. Nothing to stop them besides themselves as she brings her lips back to his. Soft and light, smiling as she does. "Is this okay?" She's teasing, already knowing his answer. Though the question of what this was had yet to be figured out. Her hands push at his jacket, not caring for the way the leather kept her from letting her hands trail along his shoulders.

[a-mel-tomelts]

IN THE CASE OF FUTABA SAKURA.

My change of the narrative for personal satisfaction and preferable writing and plot. I tried to make it as close to the character we all know and love and I hope I didn't disappoint!

No dumb: "Change of heart cured depression" thing.

The scene when she enters Leblanc on the anniversary of her mother's death(? Or was it b-day? I don't even remember.) — Horrendous.

My version: instead of coming, Futaba CALLS SOJIRO and asks him to come, she feels better but hungry, bringing Ren along.

She says that she became scared to be taken away from Sojiro which is why she contacted Ren from an anonymous number and asked him about the prosecutor lady's situation. Through chatting both became somewhat acquaintances. Ren was supportive of Futaba these past months and she felt more comfortable with him.

Bc, did we explain to Sojiro how we know Futaba? Or did he accept it Sae told us and decided to ignore it?

But that's not the point.

The biggest problem was Futaba's attitude after awakening. So...

She is still herself but she is a bit better because she has no guilt for her mother's death. She is still dead, yeah. But at least it is less heavy when Futaba knows it's not her fault and now she has a better purpose as well as more people supporting her. (With time, of course)

So, they talk in her room.

2: On days of Thieves getting to know Futaba better, Ann AND Makoto are the pair. Makoto talks about how she adored her father that died tragically. While Ann, explains her behaviour before because of Shiho's suicide attempt and how nobody could help her. And Ann adores Shiho because only she understood her.

And you know what?? Futaba as well had a parent she respected and loved as well as a friend who she had lost contact with. Literally her Confidant! Why we don't discuss trauma? It's okay and healthy to talk about it (of course there are boundaries about it but IMO Futaba needs to know there are people who support and understand her)

With Ryuji and Yusuke, Futaba feels better about embracing her geeky nature. We have the most outgoing and friendly boy who loves games and unhealthy food as much as Futaba and they both hate coffee. They are bound to become bros.

And Yusuke is eccentric. We know how it goes for them in the original. I love their companionship. Dunno about shipping but they are helluva cute and the same can be said in dancing games.

So yeah, girls for emotional parts and boys for the bro support.

Both these things I bet are alien to this isolated girl but very much needed.

Feel free to add your own opinion or experience. These points above are taken from my experience with GAD and how having friends that accept me and are similar to me helped me to pull through school.

Of course, Futaba's situation is more severe but I think after the change of heart she felt lighter from self-guilt and the feeling of being unwanted — these are the main reasons for her distortion after all.

Idk how to write about the loss of a parent/close people. So, I would prefer to ignore this topic. It's bad but I can't write it. Personally, I am numb to that experience but Futaba is emotional about her dead mom.

3: Beach with Futaba. While the animated cutscene was cute the game sequence itself was lacklustre. So um... Futaba content where???  She is at the end for nickname picking but uhhhh. For what reason we are here? We have Hawaii in less than a few weeks. Why couldn't we do smth simpler and more emotionally impactful? Without getting used to ordinary places, people are getting anxious somewhere new. So, going to a beach seemed very out of blue.

Why couldn't we get a Leblanc party where Ren AND Sojiro wear masks so Futaba could feel more accepted about her masks from a few days ago? Sojiro could be someone from his childhood, so Ren and Futaba could go "Huh?"; "What a boomer". It's cute and fun and we see Sojiro's reaction to socializing Futaba

Futaba instead of wearing her uncomfortably big mask could wear Feathermen along with Ren! And it would be okay! And then other Thieves would join with THEIR cosplays!!

And it all would end with a small fireworks stick (i forgot their name) bc welp, the summer festival was ruined, but AT LEAST, this time we are together and here's a picture of us taken by Ren! Who then, sends it to "busy" Akechi!

....who, they don't know but, he is watching them from afar while his guilt doesn't let him move forward from his sins. He almost forgets that he doesn't have his Feathemen mask. Would Futaba share with him if she knew what had he done?

It doesn't matter, either way, he doesn't plan to meet her. Preferably, ever.

[anasticklefics]

When Your Heart's Heavy (I Will Lift It For You)

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (post season 3)

Characters: Klaus, Five

Anonymous said: 4 for lee!five and ler!klaus? | 4: “What’s so funny, huh?” from here.

Summary: Klaus tries to show Five that he is loved. Five isn’t as willing to accept it.

Warnings: Mentions of death and suicide, but it’s all in the context of a dream in the beginning.

Words: 1.7k

“What’s so funny, huh?”

Five looked up, but didn’t meet Klaus’ eyes. Maybe because he was laughing so hard his eyes were squinting, head slightly thrown back, with his hands gripping Klaus’ wrists and failing to move them away from the sides of his belly.

Yeah, we’re gonna need to backtrack a little to fully understand this one.

Three days earlier.

“You look exhausted.”

Five met his gaze, although Klaus could tell he wasn’t fully there with him. “Do I?”

Klaus nodded, sliding into the seat next to him soundlessly and crossing his legs, turning his body toward him. He’d only noticed because he’d had a dream - stay with me here - where he’d watched all of his siblings die one by one, some in tragic accidents, some for stupid reasons such as tripping over a fuckin’ banana peel, but he’d woken up gasping with the realization that he might never join them in death choking him in a way he didn’t enjoy.

So he’d started paying attention. Maybe because in his dream Viktor had offed himself with a water gun that had turned out to be real, or maybe because in his dream Five had refused to talk to him before letting a car run him over.

A dream like that kind of forced you to become a bit paranoid.

Five did look more exhausted than a 13-year old should, even with a middle aged man hiding inside. The fact that he’d not even noticed Klaus enter the room, combined with the fact that Five didn’t seem to be doing anything in particular anyway, was slightly alarming. Five always paid attention. Especially to his siblings.

“Yeah, look at those bags,” Klaus said, pointing to his face. “Not that I’m the epitome of health, but when was the last time you slept?”

Annoyance flickered across his face. “Does that matter?”

“Yes.”

“Look, I’m fine. I’m not sure why you care-”

Klaus rolled his eyes. “Oh, there you go again trying to pretend as if you’re not loved. You’re loved, okay? I love you. Don’t look so panicked,” he added with a laugh when Five’s eyes widened. “I know you love me too.”

“I’m leaving this conversation.”

“I will show you just how much I love you, just you wait.”

Five teleported away and Klaus started working on a plan.

Two days earlier.

“So I got you your favorite snacks,” he said, leading Five into the living room.

“How do you know my favorite snacks?” Five asked suspiciously, but Klaus only clicked his tongue and pushed him down the couch.

“Sit.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

“You quite literally have nowhere to be.”

Five huffed, but leaned back on the couch, glaring at the TV as Klaus threw a bag of marshmallows at him. “Hmm.”

“Approved?”

“I guess.”

“I also got this.” He produced more of what he’d seen Five gorge on ever since coming back, all of it sweet and sugary and too sickening to eat all at once, and yet he was sure Five would do it if left alone. Klaus wasn’t one to judge, and so he’d bought it all. “Tada!”

“What do you want?” Five asked, eyeing the bags. Klaus could see the intrigue in his gaze, although he was trying not to make it obvious.

“I told you. To show you that you’re loved.”

“I am so uncomfortable.” He made a move to stand, reaching down to grab one of the bags as he did, but Klaus took a hold of his wrist.

“Oh, come on, don’t leave,” he pleaded. “Do you know how much I had to beg the others to help me pay for all this?”

Five sank back down, although he didn’t let go of the bag. “Fine.” A beat and, “Thank you. For buying all this.”

Klaus waved a hand at him. “Thank the others. I don’t have a cent to my name.”

One day earlier.

Five didn’t ask where they were going when Klaus told him they were going on a roadtrip. Perhaps he’d understood that Klaus was on a mission regarding him now, or maybe he simply didn’t have the energy to ask. He still seemed exhausted. Yesterday’s sugar rush probably hadn’t helped, but he’d looked happy for a moment.

Klaus didn’t need a map and maneuvered the roads easily, stopping only when they’d reach their location in the middle of a yellow field where the sun was too strong. “We’re here.”

“Which is?”

Klaus opened the car door and stepped out. “Come with and you’ll see.”

Five sighed but followed his lead, walking several steps behind Klaus until they reached the fence and he stopped in his tracks. “What-”

“I know it’s not the world’s biggest ball of yarn or whatever,” Klaus started. “But it’s the world’s, uh- roundest? Is that what it was? Roundest stone? Or something? Like naturally made? In its size?”

Five blinked at said stone that was standing before them. It was almost as tall as him, a light gray color, with a nearly perfectly circular shape. Its presence was marked by a smaller fence surrounding it, maybe to keep it from rolling off.

“It was the best I could find,” Klaus said dejectedly. “Without driving us out of the state, that is.”

Five leaned over the fence, his fingertips just about brushing over the rock. “It’s definitely the roundest stone I’ve seen.”

“Well, at least that’s something.”

“I, uh-” Five looked at him briefly before averting his eyes. “Thank you. That’s nice of you.”

Klaus grinned at him and threw his arm around his shoulders. “See? Loved.”

“Yeah, yeah.” But Klaus caught the smile before Five turned away.

The day of.

Five was refusing to sleep. Klaus’ latest attempt at showing him he was loved had involved getting a bed all ready for a good nap, lit candles and calm music and all, but Five eyed it disapprovingly before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

“Oh, come on,” Klaus said, following him through the hallway. “You still look exhausted and it’s quite frankly tiring to see.”

“So you’re doing it for yourself?”

“You know what I meant- Five, buddy, pal, baby, don’t walk so fast, I’m not an athlete.”

“Don’t ever call me those things again.”

They walked down the stairs, and Klaus would eventually realize that Five wasn’t teleporting away, but at the moment he was trying to breathe as Five all but ran away from him. “Please, have mercy on your poor sibling and go to sleep for once.”

“It’s literally daytime.”

“I don’t know where you go during the night! I can never seem to find you.” He grinned and nudged Five’s side, who had finally come to a halt. “Or maybe that’s because you don’t want to be found, huh? All those teenage hormones must be driving you crazy.”

“I will literally choke you to death,” Five said drily, although the color had risen in his cheeks.

“Jokes on you, buddy. I can’t die.”

“I will be the one to figure out how then.”

Klaus poked his belly. “You love me- oh. Oh. I forgot about that.”

Five’s eyes narrowed and he took a step back. “I will figure out a way if you do that again.”

“Good thing I’m not scared of you then.” Klaus took a step closer. “I will tire you out and you will sleep.”

Five ran, which he would deny if Klaus ever brought it up, but this time Klaus did realize he wasn’t teleporting away. He would tease him about it later, because now he was too busy trying to catch the quick bastard; jumping over furniture, tripping over carpets, just to finally grab a hold of his shirt and pull him down to the ground gently enough to not hurt him. The sound he made when Klaus’ fingers collided with his side was enough to make it sound like it though.

“You see,” he started, using one hand to fend off Five’s flailing hands. “You recoiling when I touched you made me remember just how ticklish you used to be. I can see that hasn’t changed, has it?”

“I will ki-”

“You will kill me, yeah, yeah. Save your breath, why won’t you?”

A sound akin to a laugh slipped out of Five’s lips as Klaus crawled his fingers up his side and toward his ribs. Whatever his feet were doing behind him wasn’t helping him much, although he was starting to buck the closer Klaus got to his upper ribs, and so he decided to leave his useless hands to it and hold onto his side to keep him in place.

That was when Five started laughing in earnest, hands grabbing Klaus’ wrists and not doing much to really push him away. Klaus knew his brother was sensitive pretty much all over, but he remembered his knees being his worst spots, and so he was saving them for last. Instead he let his fingers curl over Five’s neck just to see him scrunch up his shoulders and squeal, exhaustion making him more reactive, and maybe something else.

Klaus was laughing along with him, especially at the sound Five made when he fluttered his fingers over his ears. “This is priceless.”

“Klaus! I’m gonna-”

“Oh, shut up.” He moved downward again, letting his fingers dance over the sides of his belly.

This is where they were now, with Five giggling (giggling!) under Klaus’ hands and not doing much to escape it for more than for a moment.

“What’s so funny, huh?”

“I’m gonna- please just- Klaus, oh my god-”

“I have been called that before actually.” He slipped one hand free and reached back to squeeze at Five’s thigh, relishing in the way his laughter kicked up a notch. “Feels weird coming from you, though.”

Whatever Five replied it was mostly incomprehensible. He was still holding onto his other wrist, seemingly mostly for support, and his leg was twitching as Klaus squeezed and squeezed. He kind of felt as if his fun was coming to an end, however that end would look like. He looked at his brother, who for once looked somewhat carefree. Almost as if the weight of the world wasn’t on his shoulders.

He needed to sleep.

Klaus grabbed his knee.

[matchablossomwrites]

Hi, I really like your writing!! Can I request Mikey and Izana (u can add more if u want to) react to them hitting their s/o during an argument and how would they apologize ? Angst with comfort, also gn!reader pls (im craving for angst and fluff rn :DD) U don’t need to if u don’t want to write it ofc :)) I respect ure decision ^^ thanks for ure time ❤️

Hey hey hey! Thank you so much for this request! I had a ton of fun writing it ^^ I hope it's up to par with your expectations. I'm so sorry it took this long. I've had an incredibly busy week with my new job and college, but I did my best! I hope you have a wonderful day/night.

Sano 'Mikey' Manjiro

"y/n I don't want to see you right now. Just leave before you regret staying here any longer" he warned "Leave" The air grew more and more icy with each word that came out of his mouth.

You just wanted to check up on him. He'd been so distant lately and this is how he thanks you? You were so worried. Anger boiled up inside of you as you stared at the man in front of you.

His expression was blank. He was going to snap soon. patience was wearing thin for both parties. He didn't exactly have a good day. Things went terribly wrong today and Baji Keisuke had died a few months prior and he was cycling through the stages of grief. The last thing he needed was for you to show up out of the blue like this and confront him now

But it's not like you knew this. You knew Baji had died and you were still easing through grief yourself. God you missed him, but you were coming to terms with the fact that there was no way to turn back time and save him. Mikey was still coping with this. They were best friends. of course this was something that would affect him way more than it would affect you.

"Huh? Are you really telling me this? Mikey I've been so worried about you and this is the thanks I get? I came here to check up on you and even took the day off to spend it with you. I could've been spending my time in so many other ways but I came to check up on you because I care about you!" you yelled you were angry to the point of yelling. Things were getting more and more tense.

Anger boiled inside of him. it was becoming unbearable. "And guess what? I don't care. I don't care that you took all this time off for me. Absolutely no one asked you to be a tragic hero and try to fix me. I don't need fixing. So, I'll say this one more time because apparently you don't know how to take a hint. Go. away." he hissed as his smile turned into a frown.

"Baji wouldn't have wanted you to push us away, you know. He would have-" you began.

However you weren't able to finish your sentence as you felt a stinging sensation on your cheek.

"Shut up! You don't know what he would've wanted! I don't know! You don't fucking know either! Ok?" he hissed as he narrowed his eyes at you. "You don't understand now and you'll never understand! So don't tell me that he wouldn't want me to act like this or whatever! Got it! Because you will never FUCKING know." he growled as he went to point at you.

Suddenly, he was brought back to reality by the sound of you whimpering as you covered your head, attempting to protect yourself. You were too afraid to say anything else to further upset him. You tried so hard not to cry, but with the stinging paired with fear tears cascaded down your face as you attempted to protect yourself from him. "Please don't hurt me.. I'm sorry" you apologized

"Oh god..." he trembled. "oh god, oh god, oh god. what have I done? y/n I'm so sorry." Mikey's eyes widened as he looked at your shaking form in front of him. He attempted to reach out and hold you, however his sudden movement scared you, causing you to flinch.

It was then that he realized the damage he'd done. Guilt hit him like a semi truck. "baby please don't cry. I'm so sorry I let this happen. I never meant to hurt you." he choked out, voice wavering. At that moment all of his emotions that he had been bottling up came pouring out like a waterfall. all the anger, despair, loneliness, and guilt finally made themselves known.

Seeing him break down in front of you made you realize how much he was truly hurting. "P-Please don't go. I'm so sorry." he whimpered. "I never meant for you to see me like that. I'm a monster god I'm so sorry." he apologized. The more you saw him break down the more you realized how bad he truly felt about this.

So, you resigned even though alarm bells were still softly blaring in your head and allowed yourself to be embraced by him. "Don't leave me... please" he whimpered. At this point you both were crying, though neither of you cared that your jackets were getting wet. you weren't sure what to say.

So, you decided not to say anything and let him calm down as you attempted to calm down yourself. Once you both calmed down, Mikey pulled away to look you in the eyes. "Please don't go... I can't lose you too" he begged as he held your face in his hands. He was trembling, absolutely terrified of what he'd done to you. You were his lifeline. He needed you. "I've got you. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I care about you, Mikey, and it hurts to see you like this." you sighed as you gazed at him with a soft expression.

It was then Mikey broke down again. though not for the same reason. It was because he was so grateful he had someone like you by his side. Someone so forgiving and compassionate. "I love you" he whimpered. "Thank you"

"I love you too"

Izana Kurokawa

Things weren't always like this. You were sure of it. But lately your nights were filled with screaming and harsh words. Despite this it was never anything too bad. Either he'd apologize with a bouquet of red tulips, white orchids, and purple hyacinths or a teddy bear and chocolates

But this... this was too far.

You don't really remember how it happened if you were honest. One moment you were having a peaceful conversation. However the moment you brought up Mikey since you'd recently met him at your school.

That's when the mood got sour. He'd said a few things and you retorted with your own set of phrases. Soon the fight grew personal. things were going too far. Both of you were saying things you really didn't mean, but since you both were in the heat of the moment there was no longer a filter stopping you from saying those harsh words and phrases.

Things peaked when he harshly shoved you against the wall in a fit of rage. You were terrified of him, but you didn't dare let him know that. you tried to shove him away but he slapped you. That's when you have had enough. You packed your things, not saying a word to him. Then, when he was asleep you quietly made your escape.

When he woke up however he was shocked and scared. He looked around the shared apartment. there were no signs of you anywhere. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to figure out his next steps, but his thoughts were preventing him from doing so.

Has he finally done it? Had he finally driven you away to the point of never wanting to see him again? He understood if you did. He knows that what he did wasn't right, but he still wanted to make one final attempt at reconciliation and if it failed, all he could do was accept that.

But where have you gone? He had no absolute clue, however he knew you were good friends with Kakucho, so he dialed up his best friend, praying to whatever cruel god was out there that you were at least still alive and safe.

After a few rings Kakucho picked up. In a panicked state he began explaining what he had done, though Kakucho stopped him. "they don't want to see you right now. Leave them alone." he replied, clearly feeling bad for the other party. "Are they with you?" he asked. "No" he replied. "Are you lying to me?" Izana asked. "no." he sighed. "Where do you think they would go if they had no where else to go, Izana?" Kakucho asked.

Their parents. The answer was glaringly obvious but he was so panicked it didn't even cross his mind. "But, Izana now is not the time. Please. Give it a few days. Imagine how they feel." Kakucho replied. "fine..." he sighed.

The next few days Izana spent thinking of what to say and how to apologize. The more he thought over that night, the more he realized he fucked up. As he sat at a table at a cafe that had been your first date with him, he saw you crossing the road, talking with Kokonoi and Inui who also happened to be your friends.

However the more he looked the more he realized that even though you were smiling it wasn't reaching your eyes. It then dawned how much he had truly hurt you. He then raced towards you, not caring if others were watching.

He didn't give a fuck about how crazy he looked in that moment as he sprinted towards you because he knew that if he prolonged this any longer it would only hurt you even more. "y/N!" he yelled, causing you to jolt, effectively capturing your attention as well as Inui and Kokonoi's as well.

"The hell do you want?" Kokonoi hissed as he protectively put his arm in front of you. "Can't you see they don't want to see you! You slapped them and hurt them and you have the AUDACITY to come out here and follow us!?" "Koko... it's ok. Thank you for caring about my safety" you smiled softly at the taller man while Inui glared at Izana. "Fuck this up and I promise you, you won't be allowed to be even within a continent of them" Inui growled before they walked away, allowing the two fo you your privacy.

The two of you then decided to talk it over at the cafe he'd been sitting at. As the two of you sat down, it was then you finally got a good look at him. There were bags under his eyes, his hair was disheveled, and he was distraught.

"y/n I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better... It wasn't your fault to begin with. This whole mess was my fault and... and it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. I was out of line. God you must hate me... you can't even look at me in the eyes." he mumbled as he let out a sad chuckle.

He felt his chances growing smaller and smaller with each passing minute. He was sure this was the end. The more he thought about it, the more he should've seen this coming. He was so harsh to you, spewing insult after insult at you, yet you always came back to him every time.

The silence was suffocating him. 'Just end it already' he thought to himself as he gazed up at you. 'I can't take it anymore. It hurts.' "Izana '' You spoke up finally, causing him to jolt as he slowly looked up at you. "I think I finally understand you… you’re scared.” you looked down at your lap. Just where were you going with this? He didn’t know. “You’re scared of being happy because the last time you were happy everything came crashing down like a castle of sand… That’s gotta be the reason you keep hurting me right? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. But every single time this happens the harder it is for me to trust you. To trust that you even care about me anymore. You always tell me you love me, Izana, but I don’t know if I believe it anymore” you sighed as you began tearing up.

The more you spoke the more he realized how badly he fucked up. “I thought this was real, was this real? Or were you just using me just like everyone else? Were you using me to get happy? It’s getting difficult and I’m not sure how long I can keep doing this… especially after you won’t even allow me to meet new people” you muttered. “y/n… I’m so sorry” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I never realized you felt this way… god you should’ve told me” “You never cared enough to ask” you muttered.

Izana then got up from his seat across from you before he took you in his arms. He knew the damage he’d done was irreparable, but at least he could try to make it up to you in other ways. “I’m so sorry I made you think I never loved you. God I never meant for that to happen. You’re my home, y/n. I should’ve been more open… I shouldn’t have let my fears take over, I’m sorry. And I know ‘sorry’ isn’t what you want to hear from me right now, but I promise I still love you and I promise I’ll never let this happen again” he choked as he shook his head, truly feeling bad for what he’d done to you. “Izana… please can’t we just go back to how things were when we first fell in love?” you whispered. “I’m sorry… I don’t think that’s possible, but I promise I’ll give you the best possible future.. Just don’t leave. Please” he begged, his voice growing softer towards the end of his sentence.

“Ok… Just know that I’m going to make sure you keep your promise” you smiled, the same smile he’d fallen for when he was child. “I will. Thank you” he smiled.

“You idiot… you broke our promise” you sobbed as you knelt at his grave, holding a bouquet of red tulips and stargazer lilies close to your chest.

A/n: Thank you for your support

[27emailsicantsend]

Chapter Seven: Oh? Oh.

March

And I've still got the Converse that I wore the day we met. I'm running out of reasons not to do it all again. So, if I showed up at your doorstep, would you turn me away? Or would you care to see a stranger whose eyes are still the same? Take me or leave me I'm going home, but I'd rather be going your way, so would you love me now? Take me back to when we were young again, darling. Would you love me now? After everything would you let me in and love me now?

-”would you love me now?”, Joshua Bassett

The weather in Salt Lake pushed dreary days into March. The snow was piled high, but full of dirt and dead leaves. The air still felt cold and unwilling. Ricky was desperate for a bit of sunshine, because he wanted nothing more than to be outside on his skateboard to think. The skatepark ended up being a lot less helpful than he wished; relentlessly reminding him of the time he saw Gina there. The time she first believed in him. It was like the ghost of her faded in and out on the steps every time he tried to make another glide down the ramp. As much as he wanted to shake the thought of her for even a second, he felt powerless to her. 

It had been two weeks since Ricky and Gina did their full run through of “Rewrite the Stars”, but this was another memory that took precedence in his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jenn clapping softly at the end, saying their performance was "beautifully tragic”, and then Gina running off the stage after. Over and over again, the ghost of Gina was everywhere Ricky went. The coffee shop, the skatepark, his house, the school, the theater- he couldn’t erase the part of his life that made him better, even when she tried to run.

Surprisingly, Gina’s “disappearing act” wasn’t very convincing. She used to be really good at making herself sparse when she was upset, but Ricky began to notice her around more and more in March. She still refused to talk to him, but she wasn’t avoiding the groups he would hang out in either.

Ricky couldn’t blame Gina for that, though. His friends were her friends and she had every right to them as he did. It took their friends a little while to catch on that things weren’t well between the two of them, but from what Ricky gathered, neither Gina nor him had called it a break up. 

Not until today, when Big Red asked Ricky to come over and play video games after school.

Ricky was sitting on Red’s basement chair, sipping on a Root Beer, when Red handed him a controller and asked, “you two are really broken up then, huh?”

Ricky didn’t know why Red’s question had caught him so off guard. If he was in their position, he would probably think the same thing. But there was that line in the sand... the one that he (and possibly, Gina) seemed to be the only ones to notice wasn’t there.

“I don’t know if we are, Red,” Ricky tried correcting him as he clicked some buttons on his controller.

“It’s been nearly a month and you two still don’t talk to each other. Normally, it seems like we can’t tear you guys apart. I’m pretty sure the last time I remember you guys being happy was.... the Sweetheart’s Dance?” Big Red reminded Ricky, before clicking the TV on with a remote. He flopped down in the giant chair next to Ricky.

Impressed with Red’s memory, Ricky asked, “You remember that far back?”

“Ricky, I’m your best friend. I notice”.

Ricky was touched.

“Wow... that means a lot,” Ricky commented, shaking his head. He was secretly glad Jet wasn’t there; Ricky knew he’d be keyed up hearing this conversation.

Red smiled. “A month just seems like a long time to not talk to your girlfriend over something. When Ashlyn and I were dating, our fights didn’t last longer than a week or two”.

“Not even when she was openly flirting with Maddox?”

“That’s just the thing, she was open about it Ricky. She was honest with me that there were feelings there. Maybe she wasn’t at first, but she came around. I was upset at first, sure, but in the end I understood. Not every couple is meant to be together,” Red replied, using his controller to gesture his thoughts.

“I know that. I want more than anything to be with Gina and I’m willing to make it work, in whatever way we need. But if she just doesn’t want to be with me anymore, I wish she would just say that. Honesty- like you’re talking about”. Ricky sighed heavily, reeling on what he had just said. The words felt unnatural and difficult to say. He never, ever pictured having this conversation about Gina. The only thing he could do next was stare blankly at his lap.

“Did she ever actually say that Ricky?” Red queried. 

Ricky took a minute to think back on all of their conversations. The ring. The ring that had been haunting him since the performance. Why was she still wearing that? Ricky gave his back to Gina. That still didn’t make sense to him. He couldn’t think of a single time Gina had said she didn’t want to be with him. Ever. Even before they started dating.

I wouldn’t quit on us, if I wasn’t moving away, Gina’s voice echoed in Ricky’s head.

“No,” Ricky said, his thoughts spiraling out of control. Gina became his life force and now he was struggling for air. Every second he was reminded that he couldn’t just talk to her, hold her, was another minute closer to him feeling like he was going to go ballistic. His thoughts were becoming overwhelming; he needed to think about something else for a minute so he could clear his mind.

“Can we just... play some games for a minute? I need to think about something else,” Ricky clicked open the game on the TV.

“Sure, but can I just add one more thing?” Red asked sincerely. One thing Ricky appreciated about Red- he was always willing to speak his mind, but he did so tactfully.

“Go for it,” Ricky gestured with his controller, turning his head toward Red.

“Couples that are meant to stay together, will be together. Fate or whatever you want to call it. It’s why, no matter how hard it was, I was willing to let Ashlyn go. If we’re meant to be together, she’ll come back. If not, I’ll find someone new and better”. Red paused before adding, “that’s all I wanted to say. We can play now”.

Fate. The stars. Serendipity. These words seemed to have a chokehold on Ricky. Why did he have to wait for it to happen? What if fate wanted something else for Ricky? There was no one else he wanted. He wanted Gina. Even when he was dating Nini and Lily, there was this part of him that felt attached by some invisible string to her. It felt like their hearts were tethered by something stronger than the explainable.

Ricky went about his next week still pondering on everything that happened since the day of the “Rewrite the Stars” rehearsal and hanging out with Big Red. Every time he saw Gina, she still had her ring on. She was beginning to watch him more, from inside the classroom to theater rehearsals, he noticed her staring. She even said hi casually a couple of times as she greeted the rest of the group. 

But it still wasn’t enough. She was still everywhere Ricky went, even only in his thoughts. He saw her pink converse every time he left the house, he saw her ring in each passing glance, and he even once thought he saw her at the coffee shop. He wondered if she knew she had a doppelgänger.

All of this thinking and reeling and hurting was starting to become too much for Ricky. On one particularly overcast day, toward the end of March, Ricky found himself in his room with his blinds closed. All he wanted to do was empty his head into his music. Ricky grabbed his guitar, music book, and pencil- ready to write. He pushed his sharpened pencil into the paper excitedly, led bits falling at the impact, but stopped immediately because his mind ran blank. It was the first time he hadn’t thought of Gina in weeks, but it was also the first time he hadn’t thought of anything. The one time he felt inspired to do something with all of his feelings- about Gina, graduation, his dad and Jenn- he came up empty.

Angry, he tossed his notebook (his pencil came with it too) at the wall. He placed his guitar down and set his head in his hands, too sad to be angry and too angry to be sad. Ricky gritted his teeth, as he began to pace around his room. He needed something. Anything. Anything to let the emotion out. It was consuming and enraging and he was shaking and sweating and-

And that’s when it clicked.

Ricky wanted to scream.

Ricky had thought about it in the past, but had never acted on it. Maybe it was because Zac told him to do it. Maybe it’s because it felt weird. Maybe it’s because it was a song he sang last semester when he was only starting to connect to his character. But this time, this time he felt ready to try.

So Ricky walked over to the window, fully pushing it open. A cold wall hit his face from the breezy air outside. He didn’t care who heard, he didn’t care how cold it was, he didn’t care if he sounded crazy. He wanted it to reverberate off of rooftops, for every bird to stop and listen for a second, for it to break through the clouds. Filling the air in his body from to stomach to chest, he reached his body outside and let out the loudest yell he could think of. Exhilarated and wild, Ricky went to his computer at his desk and started to play the song, “Scream” from High School Musical 3. He sang openly, feeling each morsel of his being connect with the lyrics:

The day the door is closed The echoes fill your soul They won't say which way to go Just trust your heart To find what you're here for

Ricky stood up before opening the door to his bedroom and stepping over the threshold, singing:

Open another door But I'm not sure anymore

It's just so hard

Ricky paused before pulling a cushion off the couch, tearing it to pieces. He threw the contents into the already lit fireplace:

Voices in my head Tell me they know best Got me on the edge They're pushin', pushin', they're pushin'

Ricky stared emptily at a photo of Mike and Jenn on the fire place:

I know they've got a plan But the ball's in my hands This time is man-to-man I'm drivin', fightin', inside of A world that's upside down

He was now in the kitchen, throwing down chairs, slinging hand towels off the oven, throwing forks and knives at the door, breaking the plates and glasses in the cupboard:

It's spinning faster What do I do now Without you? I don't know where to go What's the right team I want my own thing So bad I'm gonna scream

I can't chose, so confused

What's it all mean I want my own dream So bad I'm gonna scream

By this point he was fully invested in the song. Not taking a thought into his destruction. He sang the rest of the song as darted around the house, jumping on the couch, knocking over chairs, knocking a lamp off the side table, pulling clothes out of the hamper and strewing them everywhere as he looked for his orange sweatshirt:

I'm kicking down the walls I gotta make them fall Just break through them all

I'm kicking down the walls I gotta make them fall Just break through them all

Ricky balled up his fist and punched a hole in the wall, his hand throbbing from the pain of a power he didn’t know he had:

I'm punchin', crushin', I'm gonna Fight to find myself Me, and no one else Which way, I can't tell I'm searchin', searchin', can't find a way that I should turn I should, to right or left, it-

It's like nothing works Without you I don't know where to go What's the right team I want my own thing So bad I'm gonna scream

Ricky sang as he unraveled every piece of the apartment, not caring about Mike’s reaction. He finally felt free- like all of the pent up energy had a release. Every lyric another confirmation of how he felt on the inside until he reached the end of the song:

I want my own thing I want my own thing I can't chose, so confused What's it all mean I want my own dream So bad I'm gonna scream

Even though Ricky had sang this song several times before, it was like the music had completely enveloped him this time. When it ended, he was surprisingly caught off guard. Ricky shook his head, bringing him back into the present moment. He was sitting back at his desk, in the same position he was at when he first played the song. He peaked his head out the door to see the house in the same condition it had previously been in. The song might have been a daydream, but the rest of his life felt like a nightmare. 

It was time he decided what he wanted, once and for all.

Ricky picked up his notebook and pencil from the other side of the room and drew a line down the middle. On one side, he wrote “decided” and on the other he wrote “not decided”. Anything that was still not decided, he would take the time to figure out today. He was done being confused.

On his “not decided” column, he wrote:

-college

-what I’ll do after I graduate

-where I’ll live

When Ricky got to his “decided” column, he was only able to write one thing before his mind came up blank again:

-Gina 

However this time, instead of staring blankly at the page and getting frustrated over having no other decisions again, he made a new course of action. He was going to get outside and ride it out, no matter what the weather. He put on his black converse and grabbed his skateboard, bolting for the door.

However as he was running, exhilarated and ready to decide, he nearly sprained his ankle at the foot of the door. It landed awkwardly on an object that had somehow made it’s way onto the welcome mat inside the apartment. Ricky thought it must have gotten kicked over when he or Mike had come inside for the night. His foot landed awkwardly on Gina’s pink converse.

And that’s when the floodgates opened. It was like Ricky had closed them to protect him from getting hurt, by Gina, by his family, by making a choice. He refused to acknowledge what has been there the whole time. Every moment he had with Gina, even before they started dating, avalanched their way into his mind. Slowly and discreetly, before pouring in- unstoppable. 

Secret dates in coffee shops.

You’re a yes.

The days dancing and baking in the kitchen.

Serendipity.

Going over to her house every night to read her to sleep. All in due time. The fair. I’m not going anywhere. Me neither... at least not without you.

The promise rings. They’re promise rings. That way we promise to always come back to each other. All of the warm feelings Ricky couldn’t explain. I wouldn’t quit on us if I wasn’t moving away. Adventures in the woods. We’re a team. Real Campers Of Shallow Lake. I don’t do anything right the first time, Ricky. The night of Homecoming. I can’t believe I let Color Wars slip through my fingers.

The thoughts raced and raced and raced. Everything made sense. Every connection, every thought, every piece of the puzzle all started to come together. Ricky looked out the window and saw the sun bursting through the dark clouds. 

He made the same break through.

“Oh”.

Ricky being ok if Gina went to New York and only caring about how he would stay in contact with her. Ricky not trying to control or manipulate the situation, even if he felt frustrated. He doesn’t always do things right the first time.

It was all Ricky could say out loud before grabbing Gina’s converse and running out the door. The houses and trees worked together to seamlessly blend in his peripherals as he picked up pace. The air whipped against his body, pushing faster to make it to his end destination quicker. The end destination was a couple neighborhoods over.

Ricky was sprinting when he realized what Gina meant to him. Every crash of his foot to the pavement was another reminder of what they did for each other. For so long he didn’t understand why Gina going to New York didn’t bother him- why he felt ok with long distance. He didn’t understand why being separated from Gina was hard, but he didn’t try to control or manipulate the situation. He didn’t understand why he and Gina worked so well together, being able to finish each others sentences and know what the other person needed without even asking. Until now. This perfect, beautiful metaphor for their relationship:

When Gina tried running from her problems, Ricky steadied her. When Ricky emotions ran wild, Gina steadied him. Gina was change; Ricky was stability.

Like converse to pavement.

Ricky ran and ran, the rain beginning to drip on his face in a light and refreshing way. He could feel the worry wash off him, because for the first time in forever, he finally knew what he wanted. As sure as the invisible string tethering them together, he knew.

His heart thumped harder in his chest as his breath showed in light puffs of air outside. The closer he made it to Gina’s house, the worse the weather became, but Ricky kept pushing through.

Cold beat across his face from the light wind and now heavy rain. He didn’t care. His surroundings were nonexistent now, a black backdrop with the light of her house shining at the end. He was going to get these shoes back to Gina.

He was going to get back to Gina.

Ricky finally reached Gina’s house, the rain dumping down on him in a thousand directions. He didn’t even take a moment to catch his breath- he only slowed down his running- refusing to stop until he accomplished what he came to do. Ricky jogged up to the front door of the familiar two story house and knocked loudly.

Silence.

He wondered if Gina couldn’t hear because of the storm outside. He knocked again even harder this time. Gina needed to know he was there.

More silence.

Ricky gave a sigh. Maybe she wasn’t there. He turned around, cold and defeated. Upset and frustrated, he began to make his way down the cement stairs, opening himself back up to the long walk home.

But then he heard a latch unlock the door.

Ricky spun around to see Gina, confused and bewildered. She was in an oversized shirt and sweatpants. A large headband holding back her hair in a top knot. She shook her head several times as if she couldn’t make sense of Ricky showing up at her door.

“Ricky?! What are you doing?! It’s pouring out!” Gina exclaimed.

“Oh,” Ricky said, panting as he looked Gina over. It was all he could muster out. Her confusion began to turn into... anger? Sadness? Ricky couldn’t tell.

“Oh?” Gina said, some water filling in her eyes. Ricky suspected that she was definitely upset.

“Oh”, Ricky said, more sure this time. “As in, ‘oh, that is why I’ve been feeling this way the whole time. That is why every time I’m with you, I feel this warmth in my entire body. That is why, every time I look at you, I’m reminded of comfort and home. That is why you push me to be better and carry me through my worst’.

“Gina, I’m in love with you,” Ricky confessed.

“Oh,” Gina echoed. Ricky began to wonder if they were going to do this all day.

“Oh?” He said, his sneaky eyebrow raising up again. Maybe his eyebrow was more keen than he gave it credit for.

“Oh. As in, ‘you came back’. I always knew you’d come back,” Gina said, tears now falling down her face. She didn’t need to say anything more.

“It’s why you left the shoes,” Ricky concluded her thought, breathless. He shook the pair of pink converse in front of her, splashes of water flying out. 

Ricky couldn’t help it. Watching her cry, feeling as happy and as overwhelmed as he was, realizing it’s why Gina kept on her promise ring too- he began too cry to. Big, happy, beautiful tears. They masked themselves in the rain, but released all of the pain he had been feeling. Everything finally made sense. It was truly “all in due time”.

Ricky threw the wet shoes in Gina’s house and pulled her out into the rain. He began to kiss her passionately, over and over. Gina reached her hand up, pulling her hair now soaking wet hair out of it’s bun. They continued to kiss, releasing all of the tension and build up that had been fogging their lives.

Gina pulled slightly back from the kiss, putting her hands on Ricky’s face, and with tear-soaked eyes said, “I love you too, Ricky Bowen”. 

They pulled each other in again, kissing until their lungs gave out. 

Ricky finally spoke again- slightly yelling over the loud rain crashing on them and her house, “Gina, everything that I have done this last year was for you. It was always for you. You have dictated every move I have made in the best way. They were always my own choices, but I made them with you as my lighthouse. I never wanted to quit on us either. I’m not going to lose you. Not because you can’t walk away from me or because I don’t want you to go to New York, but because I want to make it work. I want to make us work. Because whether we try to or not, we will work out. We come back to each other every time”.

“Ricky!” She stopped him loudly over the rain, giggling.

“What?” He asked, a confused smile glued to his face.

Gina laughed even harder, her eyes squinting with glee as she said, “You got started”. 

The couple were now fully bursting out in laughter, wiping away tears and water off of their own faces. They couldn’t stop laughing, even as Gina pulled Ricky’s face in again to kiss him.

Gina understood what Ricky meant, because he had one thing wrong this whole time: Gina’s love language wasn’t gift giving, it was words of affirmation. The song she wrote, the promises she made, the writing in the rings, and even the way songs affect her- it all made sense to Ricky. 

Ricky was supposed to tell her he loved her first. That’s how she would know they were going to make their relationship work after graduation. That’s how she would know that he chose her back. That’s what she was waiting for.

Gina reached into her now soaking wet pocket and pulled out a small silver band. She took Ricky’s hand and slid the ring back on his pinky.

“How long have you been carrying that around?” Ricky shouted over the torrential rain.

“Since you took it off!” Gina yelled back, letting out her last few giggles.

Ricky wrapped his arms around Gina, picking her up and spinning her as they kissed one more time. After he set her down, Gina slid her pinky finger around Ricky’s. Their rings clanked together as she led him into her house. 

Once inside, Ricky kicked off his water-soaked converse next to Gina’s... where they belonged.

He was finally home.

****************************************

Epilogue

Over the next month, the weather began to let up. The sun shined more often than not, giving Ricky a lot of time to spend outside with his friends and Gina. They savored their last moments together before the select few of them graduated.

The Greatest Showman wasn’t going to be until May right before graduation, so Ricky spent a lot of time with Gina rehearsing. He even helped write a new song for the show that Jenn took to immediately. All of the time on stage, being “Little Zac”, his passion for writing music, and having previous experience on TV made Ricky realize that he might want to do something involving the arts after he graduates.

Ricky finally told his dad that he was going to move to New York with Gina to pursue his dream of writing music for TV and stage productions. He also chose the option of trying to act in some of the shows that would use his music. He ended up giving Zac a call, telling him he was sure this was what he wanted to do with his career. Zac was so ecstatic to hear from “Little Zac”, that he pulled a few strings to make sure Ricky wouldn’t start off at nothing.

Broadway was creating a new play, The Chronicles of Narnia, in September and needed actors and music producers. Zac told them he knew a guy, Ricky Bowen, who could do both. Zac even said if they were lucky enough, Ricky’s girlfriend, Gina Porter would probably be willing to choreograph for the show too. And despite some hesitation from the producers, Zac was able to convince the producers to hire a couple of soon-to-be graduates to help with the show.

Mike reminded Ricky that he would be fine if Ricky left because now he had Jenn. They were going to get married that summer in July. Ricky would spend the first half of the summer in Salt Lake with Mike and Jenn, and after their wedding spend the second half with Lynn and Todd in Chicago. After that, he would get on a train and meet Gina in New York.

One late Saturday in April, before he and Gina went to rehearsal for The Greatest Showman, Ricky ran to his room to grab his skateboard. He was hoping to ride it that day. He went to pick it up from the side of his bed when he saw a notebook peeking out from the corner. It was opened to the page that had his list of “decided” and “not decided”. Ricky thought that it must have gotten kicked under there without him realizing it.

Ricky walked over to his desk and got out a pencil. Picking up the notebook and sitting on the edge of his bed, he scribbled out the undecided column completely. After that he added one more thing under the “decided” column. It now read:

-Gina

-What I’m doing after I graduate

“Ricky? You almost ready? It’s about time we go!” Gina called to his room.

Ricky grabbed his skateboard as responded, “coming!” 

Once he made it to the front door, he slid on his black converse and crouched down to tie the laces on them. Gina giggled as she tapped his leg with her foot. 

“Hey, we’re matching,” she noticed, her pink shoe peeking in the corner of his eye.

Ricky finished tying his shoe and stood up, giving Gina a quick kiss on the cheek before saying, “good”.

Gina grabbed her rehearsal bag with her dance shoes in it and held her right hand out, lacing it with Ricky’s. They began to walk to rehearsal, Gina’s dance bag in her open arm and Ricky’s skateboard in his.

Ricky thought about what Gina said before the school year. About how he was never the plan, but plans change. Maybe she was right- his plans changed. Even now, none of his life was part of the plan. Maybe before he met her, he was always going to be in Salt Lake. He was going to be fighting for a girl that didn’t want him back, unhappy with his dad, and alone with no friends but Big Red.

Ricky thought about how much he used to push change away. That new things were scary and they needed to be right the first time. That he would try to fit puzzle pieces where they were never meant to fit. However, Gina came in and changed everything in the best possible way. He never knew what to expect with her, but he willingly followed. He kept up with all of her paces. 

Ricky finally realized that regardless of how many changes his life brought, he knew one thing with more certainty than anything else: Gina wasn’t a maybe. Gina was a yes.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Of Immortality and Nymphs

(Philza Minecraft x Reader)

Request 2: Just c!philza simping over reader!!

Requested by: Anonymous 

(Okay maybe I got a little carried away with this one...) 

~~~

     He met her for the first time when he was a young man, who barely understood the world around him. Messing with things he shouldn’t was his specialty so when he heard there used to be Nymphs in the nearby forests, he just had to find out if they were extinct or not. Phil flipped through his worn journal and tapped his quill on the paper, he wanted to document his journey to finding the supposedly mythical creature. After all, this was one of his first real adventures all by himself he wouldn’t accept any form of defeat. He popped the cork off the invisibility potion he had and downed it with one swig. Phil, now hidden, wandered into the forest of the last known location, of the last recorded Nymph. Not being visible to the creatures in the forest allowed Phil to take in the beauty of nature around him, he could get close to the animals and see them in their natural habitat. The forest was beautiful, sunlight peeking in through the leaves of the trees, it was magical. He placed his hand on the trees running his hand over the bark with a smile, Phil heard a soft twinkling in his ear, and his head shot up. Always trigger happy he put his hand on his sword, in the middle of a nearby clearing stood a beautiful woman with gorgeous (h/c) hair. Flowers and leaves seemed to be interwoven within the strands, her ears were elf-like in appearance adorned with gold piercings. Her dress flowed in the wind, it was a soft almost translucent green decorated with leaves, in her hand was a baby chick. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, it was clear she was the Nymph that the old stories were talking about, thank god for the invisibility potion. 

Pulling out his journal once more he began to sketch a picture of the elegant woman, he didn’t want to forget her face. The man looked up once more to finish up the sketch and the Nymph was gone, he frowned sadly, he did hope he could get to talk to her. 

     “What’re you drawing?” Phil snapped his notebook shut letting out a startled yelp, he turned to look at the figure beside him. The potion must’ve worn off when he wasn’t looking, however beside him was said Nymph. His jaw almost dropped open, did she have no self-preservation? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” She stepped a few steps back and he held out his arm to stop her. 

     “No! No, you’re alright!” He put his hand to his heart, “I’m Phil. and you are?” 

     “(Y/n). Are you human?” 

     “Tragically,” Phil gave her a little smile as she tilted her head curiously. “Are you a Nymph?” You looked a little hesitant, he watched as your ears twitched in an undeniably cute way. He felt himself melt a little as you gave a nod, 

     “A Meliae if you want to get specific,” you smiled fondly giving him a teasing wink. Opening his notebook again he scribbled that down next to the figure drawing of you, you sat down in front of him watching in awe, “Is that your language’s written system?” Looking back up at her curious expression Phil once again felt his heartbeat speed up in his chest. 

     “It is. You’re very clever,” He hummed and was delighted in the way you flushed up to the tips of your ears. You waved him off, 

     “I’m not that clever. When you’ve been around as long as I have you pick up on certain things,” He watched you carefully as you sat down beside him resting on your knees. Curiously Phil tilted his head,

     “How long have you been around?”

     “Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a woman her age?” She shot back a grin on her features, oh Phil was in love. Nymphs did tend to have that effect on people, people fall hard and fast for them, but Phil didn’t care. 

     “My apologies, that was rude of me huh?”

     “Very.” She teased with a snicker, “I’ve honestly lost count at this point.” 

     “You’ve lost track? So you’re immortal then?” Phil’s entire face lit up the excitement prevalent on his features, “Tell me everything.” He pleaded, with a soft laugh you began to share your tale with the man in front of you. Phil was enamored she had lived more lifetimes than he could begin to comprehend, what he wouldn’t do to have that gift. The duo talked long into the evening and well into the next morning, Phil knew he had to head home soon. Not that he had anyone waiting for him back home, but he couldn’t stay with her forever as much as he wanted to. “When can I see you again?” He whispered taking your hands within his own, he couldn’t help but notice how soft they were for someone living in a forest. You hesitantly pressed your finger to his earring, 

     “They’ll start to glow whenever I’m near. So you can always find me,” You whispered cupping his cheek in your hand, he felt himself lean into it. “I’ll see you soon Phil,” You leaned forward pressing a tender kiss to his lips before disappearing in a flurry of flowers and leaves. Phil let out a shaky breath bringing his fingers to his lips a wild smile appearing across them. He opened his journal one last time adding ‘great kissers’ to his list of things about the Nymph of the forest. 

They met many more times after that, and with each meeting, Phil only fell more and more in love with her. He wanted to protect you and keep you safe especially after telling him that Nymphs were hunted for their tears that give immortality but now without the expense of the Nymph. Yet even with his pleading, you wouldn’t leave the forest you called home. You told him maybe one day you could, but you were the only Nymph protecting the forest and you had to stay to protect your home. Ever the gentleman Phil would drop the conversation and steer it into another direction said direction ended with a lot of kissing. 

As the years flew by Phil found himself growing older and you remaining the same and as beautiful as ever, he wanted to be immortal with you. He never wanted to lose you, so he made a deal with the God of undying, sacrificing his three lives for one immortal life so he could remain by your side forever. He’d also have to give up part of his humanity, he was bestowed giant black crow-like wings. But he’d do anything so long as he got to be by your side for the rest of eternity. Phil didn’t want to tell you at first, afraid you’d be mad but it was hard to hide giant black wings and the man could never stay far away from you. When he finally saw you again you knew what went down practically immediately. Surprisingly you took it much better than he originally thought, you seemed to flattered beyond belief but also pissed as hell. Desperately you tried to explain to him that immortality wasn’t a gift but a curse, seeing the world change around you while you stay young forever wasn’t as fun as it sounded. The man scoffed, shooting back a comment of his own about how he didn’t want to imagine a world without you by his side. You didn’t deserve to lose someone you loved just because they were mortal and he stood by that.

He watched your face scrunch up, cheeks turning pink at his sentiment. Mostly because you were melting around his words and he knew it too by the smirk evident on his features. Phil locked eyes with you and smiled endearingly, 

     “I love you.” 

     “I’m pregnant.” 

     “Fucking what-” He choked on his spit any argument that started before fizzled out the minute you had told you said those two words to him. He felt his features morphed in surprise before wrapping you in a tight suffocating hug. That only solidified his choices, he made the right decision, he needed to stay by you and your child’s side so long as the universe allowed him to. 

However, things weren’t all peaches and rainbows as the world changed to a dark and dismal place once more. Forests were being burned and destroyed and humans once again discovered the existence of Nymphs and wanted to hunt them down for sport. Things were dangerous, way too dangerous for you and the newborn son you shared with Phil. Reluctantly you and Phil came to a decision, to protect your baby you needed to leave, it was the only way to keep them safe. You held the baby close to your chest, tears swelling in your eyes as Phil kissed your cheeks trying to shush you softly. “It’s alright…” His voice was gentle, his big hand caressing the boy’s chocolate brown curls. 

     “It’s not alright. Phil...I don’t wanna leave you or Wilbur.” Your voice quivered and Phil’s heart shattered in pieces, “But his safety comes first.” You brought the baby up to your lips and kissed his forehead, he giggled sweetly trying to squish his mother’s cheeks. You laughed as he did so, “My sweet, lovely boy. I’ll have to leave you for a while, I don’t want to but you need to be kept safe. I…” Phil frowned watching as you choked up once more, “I’m not safe.” Even through your tears, Phil thought you were beautiful, “You can’t tell him about me…” 

     “(Y/n) I can’t- That’s just not fair-” You shushed him with a kiss to his lips, passing Wilbur off to him. 

     “If he’s anything like his father he’ll lose his mind searching for his mother. He needs to live his life.” You reached up holding Phil’s chin on your pointer finger, “He has to live life to its fullest, Nothing can hold him back. It has to stay this way until I can come back. Which I will...hopefully it won’t be too long.” You smiled up at him and Phil took in a shaky breath, 

     “What if I ruin him.” His voice was painfully tight holding his grip on Wilbur tightening as well, it made the baby squirm. You shushed him softly, pressing a kiss to his lips, his scruff tickling your chin. To him the kisses always felt electric, never devoid of passion and adoration, he leaned forward to chase those addicting lips as you pulled away. 

     “You won’t ruin him, you’re the most gentle and kind man I’ve ever met. You took care of me all these years, you’ll be amazing for Wilby.” Phil watched as you kissed Wilbur one last time before stepping away with a shaky breath. “Just be as good to him as you are to me,” You both heard the crunch of leaves, it caused you to jump a little looking around the forest frantically. 

     “Go. We’ll be fine. Just stay safe and come back to us okay?” You could only nod at him before disappearing in a gust of leaves and flowers. Phil felt his heartache and he jolted as Wilbur began to cry seemingly already missing the presence of his mother. “Oh Wilbur hush, hush for me please,” His father pleaded as he began to rock him gently this was going to be a lot harder than he would ever anticipate, but to keep you safe he’d give up the entire world. 

~~~

Decades went by, Phil had not only Wilbur to watch over but three more idiotic kids, others adopted of course. Wilbur had grown up into a strapping young man, got married, and had a son, you would be so proud of him. You’d spoil Fundy rotten, he just knew you would, he was sure you’d also spoil Tommy and Tubbo. Not to mention you’d force your motherly affection all over Technoblade and he wouldn’t have a choice but to open up to you. 

However, none of them even knew you existed, lies were told about who Wilbur’s mother was when any of them asked and it killed him on the inside to lie about you. Eventually, Wilbur just stopped asking, most likely assuming something bad happened that Phil never wanted to discuss with him. Something far too painful to even tell his son about,

 Which was half right he supposed. 

It started like any other day, Tommy and Wilbur were messing around with Dream, something about discs and war that Phil didn’t particularly care about. Wilbur had come over once again to plead with Phil for aid in the war, but once again he refused him. This time he even brought Fundy along thinking that seeing his grandson might change the older man’s mind. However, he still refused knowing it wasn’t going to end well in the long run even if Wilbur did win. Sometimes kids had to make their own mistakes to learn about the future. It’s not like he hadn’t told Wil it wouldn’t end well, he did multiple times, but the kid was just as stubborn as he was and wasn’t going to back down. 

“Dad, please. If you’d just join in we’d slay Dream and his team, all the fighting will come to an end. The nation I’m trying to create would finally be free and safe. Just help me.” Wilbur pleaded, a small whine slipping into his voice as he followed Phil and his son into the forest, “We can establish our new nation and be free from tyranny. No more war, isn’t that what you keep advocating for?” Wilbur continued to rant, not helping at all with his chores, his voice grew soft suddenly, and Fundy grabbed onto the sleeve of his jacket. 

     “What is it, kid?”

     “Your earring’s glowing pops.” Fundy pointed to his ear and Phil froze in place the wood that he collected falling out of his hands, scattering all over the forest floor.

     “Dad?” Wilbur repeated his voice growing louder in concern, Phil looked around the clearing frantically before bolting in a random direction. 

     “Grandpa!?” Fundy yelled chasing off after him, his tail puffing up anxiously, 

     “Fundy don’t just run off!” 

Phil didn’t stick around to hear them, you were around here somewhere the question was where. His heart was beating erratically in his chest, please, please god let him find you. He didn’t have to wait long, he’d recognize you anywhere you still looked the same. Standing in the middle of a flower field you looked over your shoulder, “(Y/n)! Darling!” He called out choking a little on his words, your (e/c) eyes blew wide and he heard you laugh. You ran up to him flowers growing in your wake, you launched himself at the man and he lifted you in his arms. He spun you around laughing in disbelief, using his wings you both floated in the air, he cradled the back of your head with his hand, “I can’t believe you’re here.” Phil whispered, pulling away to cup your cheeks with your hands, “you’re real.”

     “Of course I’m here silly goose. I told you I’d come back didn’t I?” You laughed fondly as he began to pepper your face in kisses, “Even if it is way later than I intended…” You trailed off with a small wince, 

     “Who cares. You’re here now and you’re safe.” He landed a kiss on your lips as you kissed him back. You tasted just as he remembered like fresh air and oranges, he wanted to swallow you whole. He never wanted to let you go again, and he never would if he had a say in the matter. 

      “Dad? What the fuck?” Wilbur blurted as Fundy and he came upon the clearing, you pulled away from Phil. Tears filling your eyes, your hands coming up to cover your mouth, Phil rested a hand on the small of your back. 

     “Wilby…” She whispered, stumbling towards the man reaching out towards him, he raised an eyebrow and flinched away from your touch. You pulled your hand back taking a little breath,

     “I’m sorry. How do you know my name?” From behind you, Phil flinched; he knew that’s what you wanted, for him not to remember you. But, fuck he felt guilty about it, he was about to feel even more guilty in a minute. 

     “She’s your mom Wilbur.” 

     “Fucking WHAT.” Wilbur sputtered taking a few steps back from the woman, “You told me my mom was a fridge!”

     “You told him what.” You turned towards Phil, eyes blazing with annoyance, he held his hands up in surrender. “Why would you tell him his mother was a fridge! I know I told you to lie but a fridge! Phil that’s not even physically possible!” You scolded the man crossing your arms over your chest, his face flushed a bright red. He even missed you yelling and scolding him, he was down bad. 

     “(Y/n) I panicked-” Phil started to explain and you cut him off with an eye roll. “I’m sorry okay, I love you.” 

Meanwhile, Wilbur and Fundy looked in between the two adults rapidly as they talked. Both equally shocked and at a loss for words, Wilbur took a step forward and grabbed your wrist. 

     “Please continue your explanation,” He commanded softly, “If you are my mom why did you leave? Why haven’t you been here?” Wilbur frowned as he watched you look away from him, 

     “How much do you know about Nymphs Wilbur?” Wilbur turned bright red and the color reached up onto the tips of his ears, “What?”

“My mom’s a Nymph.” Fundy spoke up in place of Wilbur, “her name’s Sally. I...I’m Wilbur’s son.” He watched your face melt and mouth a broken ‘son?’, Phil noticed and walked up to squeeze your hand. You had missed so much, you hoped you didn’t blame yourself, you and Phil lived too long to live with that many regrets. 

     “What happened to her?” You asked tenderly, 

     “Killed.” Wilbur said bluntly, “by hunters. Don’t worry, I made sure to dispose of them.” 

     “I-I’m so sorry.” You spoke and Wilbur couldn’t help but feel compelled into your arms. Something about you just made him want to melt into your body, he knew Phil was right in the end. You were his mother through and through, I mean the shared pointed ears said enough. 

     “Is that why you left?” Fundy asked walking over to stand beside Wilbur, Fundy’s ears pressing against his head. They both watched you nod and Phil tightened his grip on your arm, you took in another deep breath. His hand moved to wrap securely around your waist, he was here for you. He’d always be here for you.

     “When you were born, the hunters were far worse, there were much more of them. Greater numbers and they sniffed out Nymphs like hunting dogs to a rabbit. I couldn’t keep a newborn baby safe, especially one that was half Nymph...Which probably explains why Fundy’s part fox, he has more Nymph in him.” The fox hybrid seemed to light up at even the inclination that he was special in any way, shape, or form. “It was safer for me to be as far away from the both of you as possible, and I was right considering you grew up into a handsome young man with a family of his own.” You chuckled fondly leaning into Phil’s touch. “But I can understand if you don’t trust me or want to get to know me,” You smiled sadly at the man Fundy spoke up before Wilbur could. 

     “No! We want to get to know you grandma!” He blurted taking your hands in his own, you melted at the adorable way his eyes lit up. You glanced up at Wilbur who Phil totally wasn’t threatening with his eyes, 

     “I…” The man looked hesitant, but as he stared into your warm eyes once more he felt encapsulated within them. His longing for a motherly figure in his lips came back at full force and washed over him like a tidal wave. He had a mother and she was safe and here and willing to come back into his life if he was ready. 

Was he ready? Why did he feel ready?

     “Fuck that hesitance she’s grandma,” You let out a delighted laugh ruffling up Fundy’s hair, his tail wagging elatedly behind him. 

     “Don’t spoil him, love.”

     “Fuck you, I’m spoiling the hell out of my grandson. Gotta make it up to him somehow.” Fundy’s tail only wagged harder as he wrapped you in a tight hug, you hugged him back just as tightly. 

     “Hey, Hey move over champion. I get to hug my mom now.” Wilbur snapped defensively, as Fundy snickered only looking up at him mischievously hugging you tighter. You laughed in delight seeing Wilbur huff, Phil melted against you in relief. Wilbur’s face was scrunching up the exact way you do when you’re pissed, he smiled against the side of your head. Wilbur pushed his son to the side gently and wrapped his arms around you in a hug, he towered over you but couldn’t help but bury his face in your neck. You cooed softly and ran your fingers through his hair, he was gone the moment you did so, melting in your arms completely. 

Without you noticing Phil took a step away from the group just to admire the moment from an outsider’s perspective. For what felt like the hundredth time that hour Phil felt light, he felt like the weight of the world was off his shoulders. Everything was right in the universe again, you were finally holding your not-so-little boy in your arms again after all these years. Even if you did have a fox hanging off you as well, Phil let out a soft chuckle looking at the three with adoration. A long time ago he gave up his mortality and humanity for you, after you left he had pleaded to the gods once more, he swore he would give up anything for just one more day with you by his side. They had ignored his wishes, they knew without a doubt you’d be back in his arms again, and this time he wouldn’t have to give up a single thing. 

~~~

Okay but actually I had so much fun writing this??? Maybe even a Pt. II?

[bestworstcase]

Salem who knows humankind is strong when they band together due to her experience of gathering an army to fight literal gods vs Ozpin who was put in a position that already came with a secret he felt he couldn’t share who has seen strong groups fall to doubt and fear which is huh… what made him and Salem break up bc their doubted and feared what the other was hiding from them. Which came after Salem convinced him to become gods to the humans bc their powers combined convinced them they could do so.

I Love Tragedy and Complicated Relationships and How Ozpin and Salem are both their own jailers and biggest asset. It’s wild

tbh i don't think the conviction with which salem believes in human potential because of the experience of rallying armies against the gods--like, she's always had this fundamental inkling of optimism, it would never have occurred to her to lead a rebellion if she didn't believe in the possibility of victory, but i think the experience that really crystallized this part of her worldview was living long enough to see that the gods failed. they crushed her rebellion in the blink of an eye by obliterating every person on the planet, dismissed humankind as a disappointing experiment that had now ended by their hand, and then left her to rot.

and then humanity came back.

that was not supposed to happen. that should not have happened, not when the gods so thoroughly and brutally dismantled their little exercise in sharing their toys. that humanity crawled out of the mass grave the gods condemned it to is the ultimate defiance of the gods and ultimate proof that humans really CAN liberate themselves from the tyranny of their creators.

( there's a part of me that always side-eyes what salem says to ozma after they reunite. "we could be the gods of this world. our powers surpass all others; our souls transcend death." like. the natural assumption here is that by we salem means herself and ozma, but... salem was there when the gods slaughtered humanity, and then she watched humanity rise again all by themselves. she once rallied armies to "claim the powers of [the gods] for themselves and [...] perfect their own design"—and i really think as far as salem is concerned, she lost the battle that day, but the gods lost the war. it's all muddied by her earnest desire to support ozma's vague ambition of "bringing people together" and the unanswered question of exactly how much salem was willing to compromise in order to give him what she thought he wanted, but particularly given the repetition of "the hearts of men are easily swayed" i DO wonder if salem was really suggesting what ozma understood her to be suggesting or if, instead, she had in mind more of a "rebellion against the gods...2!" in mind on the grounds that humanity ultimately won the first round. )

( by the same token i also wonder how much ozma might have picked up on that subtext, because his reaction to what she's saying is puzzled with, at worst, a tinge of skepticism until the very, very end, when salem proposes with such casual confidence that they could make the world BETTER than it was when the brothers ruled over humankind. the like... layer of theological disagreement, apostate vs disciple, in the tragic unraveling of their marriage is endlessly fascinating imo. )

another thing i think about A NORMAL AMOUNT in this regard is that, while jinn says that salem and ozma "each withheld parts of their story" after their reunion, a statement that implies approximate equivalence in dishonesty on both their parts—salem "blamed the end of the world on the gods," which is, um, accurate, whereas ozma "kept his task and the relics a secret," which by necessity means that he told her nothing. and of course, this bit of narration plays over a silent scene that depicts salem talking—soaked in an inexplicable wash of red light—before panning over to ozma who says... nothing.

my read on lost fable generally is that jinn is answering very precisely the question ruby asked her, which is "what is ozma hiding from us?", and consequently ozpin's own biases, misconceptions, incomplete understandings, and genuine doubts about the veracity of what salem told him back then are left intact and conveyed through the narrative structure of a fairytale—exactly the way ozpin would have told this story himself.

but at the same time jinn is the avatar of knowledge (and her personal disdain for ozma, and the enjoyment she takes in exposing him as a liar, are both quite clear) so... i think the incongruences between the spoken narrative and the flashback narrative arise from jinn's own desire to paint a more complete version of the truth than merely ozpin's side of it; she tells salem's story with the same edge of condemnation that creeps into ozpin's commentary on the girl in the tower, but she shows her audience the genuine anguish, desperation, and fear salem felt, shows them the cruelty and indifference of the gods, shows them salem grieving and distraught as the gods leave and shards of the broken moon hammer down... and then, when factually recounting ozpin's side of the story requires her to make this misleading implication that salem lied to him too, she literally DISTORTS the accompanying flashback by abruptly suffusing it with red light. it's like. a literal red flag that the verbal narrative does not add up. that it's nonsensical to imply that salem telling ozma that the gods destroyed the world is the same, a deception on the same level as ozma not telling her that the god of light had promised to return one day to exterminate humanity again.

( either that or the sudden sinister red lighting is jinn's way of representing ozpin's intense desperation to believe that salem lied to him back then, because if she told him the truth then it's his fault, isn't it? if he's the only one who lied. if she really meant the things she said, if she wasn't just maliciously stringing him along to fulfill her own violent designs the entire time, if the things she did were based on genuine trust and support of him, because she believed him when he said he wanted to bring people together under their banner—like. he feels so much self-loathing and guilt as it is. it's fucking boiling him alive and the only way he is coping even slightly is by frantically reassuring himself that salem lied to him and manipulated him too, that he fell for an elaborate deception, that maybe there was something rotten in her all along, even from the very beginning, even in the tower—anything, ANYTHING to make it her fault. it's less painful to convince himself he was a gullible fool back then than to torture himself by wondering if things might have turned out differently if he'd just trusted her with the truth from the start. i think deep down there's a part of ozma that is terrified he's the one who ruined them both, and he's trying so hard to smother that fear by convincing himself that salem was always a monster and his only mistake lay in failing to see it, but he... can't. )

anyway lost fable fucks me up good

also on the subject of blame im obsessed. OBSESSED with ozpin in v5 gravely and honestly saying "it's all my fault"—bc he really truly believes that—before sharing a distorted sliver of the truth that at once takes the blame for things that are unequivocally not his fault AND YET ALSO obfuscates and ignores the actual things he did wrong, the lying the lack of trust the manipulating salem into serving the abusive tyrannical gods she openly despised. half truths and lies blown wide open in the first act of the next volume. im obsessed with this bc—stares at salem's "it's all my fault" moment in v8, at the unspoken tension between the transparent manipulation and the pointedly intentional choice to not do to cinder what the gods did to her all occurring in the context of the dramatically shifting dynamic of her relationship with cinder who much like the kids were with ozpin in v5 is chafing hard against salem's control and outright demanding answers and compromises and essentially equal standing from someone who had hitherto been an unquestioned authority in her life and WHAT IM GETTING AT HERE IS. v6 took ozpin's manipulative "it's all my fault" and turned it inside out and drastically shifted the entire paradigm and in V9 IT'S GONNA BE SALEM'S TURN

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[softhxtch]

TITTLE: Just Be Here

SUMMARY: Reader just finished a case and her husband, Aaron Hotchner is always there to support her. 

PAIRING: female! reader x Aaron Hotchner

CHARACTERS: reader, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss and David Rossi (literally for a second), Allison (OC)

WARNINGS: child assault and abuse; mentions of misscariage, alcohol usage, body fluids (blood, urine, vomit), pornography.

WORD COUNT: 3,5K

A/N: am i back? i don’t know hahah, but it’s something, right? again in this story Jack doesn’t really exist, sorry. and again CAC - Crimes Against Children.

'Hey, sweetie. You're safe, okay? Nobody's gonna hurt you anymore.', you whispered taking little girl into your arms. She was sobbing quietly with tears falling down her pink cheeks. She was no more than three years old, still in her purple pajamas, that were dirty form all the body fluids person can imagine and also dirty room she was held in. 'You're safe, Allison. You're safe.', you kept repeating and little girl just held her hands around you even tighter.

You looked around the room and the whole sight was just horrible. No windows, barely any lights, cages, blood and urine all over the floor. Just an awful place to be in let alone to live for months. Even the smallest thought of what was going on before the whole team came in gave you shivers and blood started to boil inside you. The place was there for years at that point and no one knew about it. You were just looking at your teammates, taking the rest of the kids out of the building. Some were crying, some were screaming and some were just clinging to the agents hoping that they would never comeback. And they never will. You would make sure of that.

' Allison, we have to go.', you said quietly, trying not to scare her. But little girl just shook her head and tightened her arms around your neck. 'We have to go. You need to see a doctor. It's scary, I know, but I'm gonna be with you all the time, okay?'

It wasn't easy to convince Allison to come out of the building, but after some negotiations and conversations with you she agreed. You're holding her in your arms as close as possible, trying to avoid the blue and red lights that were blinding both of you in the dark night.

Hospitals were always the last place that you're wanted to be. If you were the it only meant that either someone from your team or family was injured or one of the victims from your case were in tragic condition.

To put it straight, hospitals were never a good sign.

But you couldn't go home, not just yet. You promised Allison, that you would be with her this whole time, so you were also there when she got a check up from the pediatrician. You were holding her hand, caressing the back of it from time to time just to reassure her that you're there. Sometimes your would just add how great she was doing and how strong it is.

'Home.', Allison whined as doctor was checking on one of her bruised legs. Few tears fell down her cheeks, which made your hear break. It was horrible to seeing anyone in that position, but especially a child.

'You're doing great, Allison. Just few more minutes, okay?', you said quietly, taking hair out of her forehead.

'I just need to check the other leg and then you can have a long nap, till morning. How does that sound?', doctor asked and written down something on her notepad.

'I think it's great! Do you, Sonnie?', you said with a happy voice, looking at a little girl. She just nodded, still pouting from her cry few seconds ago. 'I'll be right back.', you said when you heard familiar phone ring. Doctor nodded understanding, but Allison held your hand not wanting to let you go. ' Allison, I'll be back in few minutes. I just need to answer that call, okay? You will be able to see me through the glass. I'm not going anywhere and until then you'll stay with Doctor Ashley.', you explained.

She wasn't convinced at all. It took you few more minutes for to actually let go of your hand. You explained everything a least three times. Doctor eyed you few times, but you just tried to ignore her. After years of working with children you knew how long it sometimes takes to convince them. Especially the ones that have been seriously hurt. They just wanted someone to be with them through the whole process and you understood it one hundred percent.

You sent Allison a small smile, saying one more time, that you'll be back in few minutes. After that you left the room and took out phone, dialing number that called you before.

'Hi.', you heard deep, yet soft voice on the other side. You sighed and replied with the same thing. 'Long night?'

'Yeah and I can't even see the end of it.', you answered and heard your husband's laugh. 'It wasn't a joke.', you added, rolling your eyes.

'I know. But it's kind of ironic considering that the sun will be up in less than an hour.', Aaron said. You could hear him moving around the house. Walking from bathroom to bedroom, probably getting ready for work. 'How are the kids?'

'Fine, if you could say it after living in a basement for most of your life and posing for creepy middle aged men.', you answered, feeling the shivers on your arms. The images that you saw literally just came back. And you can expect they will be coming back more often, but this time in your nightmares.

'All alive?', Aaron asked. You could hear him doing something in the kitchen, which made you smile, still looking at Allison. You actually would do everything to be right now with him in that kitchen. Waiting for his famous muffins with bacon and eggs, like he would do whenever both of you had day off.

'Yes, all eight of them.', you nodded. 'You're heading to work now? It's a bit early, even for you.'

'Not yet.', he answered quickly. You could hear another chews from the other side, which actually made your stomach going louder. 'But yesterday I picked up from the post office that coffee table, that you ordered and I thought I would put it together.'

'You're gonna put a coffee table together? At-', you asked surprised, looking at the watch on your phone. '-4:38 in the morning? Are you okay?', you added with a laugh.

'What can I say? I'm just bored without you.', he answered. Right after that you heard a loud noise from the other side and a quiet curse from Aaron.

'You're okay?', you asked, furrowing you brows.

'Yes. I'm looking for the box with all the tools.', he replied. 'I think I'll ask Morgan about them. He'll know what I should use.'

'How about you leave it to me, huh? I'll do it, because we don't want another trip to ER. It'll be third time this year, they'll assume that I'm assaulting you.', you laughed, hearing just quick 'hey!' from your husband.

For the first time in hours you actually felt nice. You didn't had constant fear in your head about the case. You weren't even thinking about it, right now what you were thinking about was Aaron and that stupid coffee table. And he knew about it, that was the reason why he called. After you were in a car with Allison and two policemen, you texted him that the case was over and you're headed to the hospital with victims. Both of you always do it, just to reassure each other that the other person is fine. Aaron on top of that would always call you. He's a very light sleeper, even waking up when you stir in bed sometimes, so every vibrations of his phone wakes him up. No matter what the time is on the clock, he always calls you. He knows how much you love your job and how saving kids was your thing. You loved it, after few years in narcotics unit you know you found your place. But Aaron also knew that you get very into the cases and you involve yourself a lot and if the case goes wrong you blame yourself really hard. Especially being a unit chief, just like him. So he always tried to light the mood even just a little and talk about the day, whatever comes to his mind.

'You're staying in the hospital, right?', it almost wasn't a question. It wasn't anything new to be honest. A lot of the times you would comeback to the hospital with the victims and especially with this case. He knew it wouldn't be different. You were working on it for over a month and it was draining you.

'Don't think I have a choice.', you admitted, looking back at Allison who was also starring at you. The doctor stopped examination and was about to leave. 'One of the girls won't let me go.'

'Just be careful, okay? And take care. Don't forget to eat something.', he reminded, knowing the previous situations.

'I will.', you reassured him. 'I love you.'

'I love you too, sweetheart. Give me a call later in a day.', Aaron said and you agreed.

After you said your goodbyes, you put the phone in the pocket and went back to the room. Allison immediately opened her arms and you laughed coming closer.

'You're back!', she said loudly, which made you laugh even more. Doctor Ashley smiled at both of you and left the room.

'I said I will.', you reminded her, patting her head. You could clearly see the tiredness in her eyes and how hard she was trying not to fall asleep. 'I think it's good time for a sleep.', you proposed, but Jade just shook her head immediately, taking back. ' Allison, you need to sleep.'

'Not sleepy.', she answered quietly, putting knees closer to her chest. 'Don't want to sleep.'

'You've been awake for a long time, Sonnie. You need to rest. I do too. Everyone needs to sleep so they will have energy for the next day.', you explained, but she once again shook her head. 'I'll be there the whole time. Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're safe.'

'Seven minutes?', she asked, trying to stop the yaw. You nodded and observed how she put her head on the pillow, drifting away from the real world.

Aaron Hotchner looked at his watch for the tenth time in the last 8 minutes. He signed and went back to signing papers in front him.

It was a slow day. Most paper work days were slow, but this one was even slower. He just couldn't focus. His thoughts were everywhere but in that office. He was thinking about his wife and what she's about to at that moment, probably still at hospital with the little girl. It was literally breaking his heart when he was thinking about your job and side effects, but also about your personal issues.

Being married for almost six years and together over eight, was something he was very proud of. He loved you with his whole heart and couldn't see anyone but you. The whole team always loved to see when a woman would flirt with Aaron, because it was always so funny to see him nicely declining the actions. Aaron Hotchner was a strong man with a very intimidating vibe, his voice could literally break you into a meltdown and get when a woman would approach him his eyes would always look for you. He just couldn't see his world existing without you.

With that being said he also knows you very well. Whenever something was wrong, he could feel it. Just from the look in your eyes or movement. You almost didn't have to talk to have a conversation. He understood you without any words and so did you.

After long nights when there were only you two together, Aaron knew what you wanted. Be knew all your dreams and wishes. Where you would like to go for vacations or favourite cuisine. Things that he could control. He also knew about your dream job and family wishes. Things he couldn't control and everytime Aaron would think about this, his heart would break into thousand pieces. Because if he could he would give you everything that you wanted and to do that he would sacrifice anything he could.

Quiet sound of a clock, that was announcing noon, got Aaron out of his thoughts. He looked at the clock just to assure himself of the hour and pressed his lips into thin line. Then he just closed the files on the rest, took coat and walked out of the room. Aaron walked to his friend's office and knocked on the door. He opened them after quick 'come in'.

'Dave, I'm gonna be back in an hour.', Aaron said, looking at the older man working on his papers. He looked up with pen still between his fingers.

'Everything's okay?', Dave asked and got quick nod from Aaron. 'Y/N's at the hospital again?'

'Yeah, they finished the case few hours ago so I'm sure she hasn't ate anything since.', he explained. 'I'm just gonna bring her food and come back.'

'No problem. If anything happens, we'll call you.', David said, waving younger man off. Aaron just laughed and closed the door. Then he walked down the stairs, wanting to leave the office.

'Hey, Hotch! Are you going again to get some food?', Emily's voice stopped him from going further. He turned around to face not only her, but three other agents. 'You're going outside, right?'

'Yes, Emily.', he sighed. 'But I'm not going to the place you love to eat from.'

'I figured. But maybe you would want to do us a favor and go there? Since you're already going outside the office.', she explained and Derek started to come closer with JJ right behind him. 'Look, it's raining outside and it's pointless to have two wet agents in the office. We will pay for the gas and also your food, huh?'

'Just text me your order and I'll see what I can do.', Aaron said, rolling his eyes slightly. Then he turned around and started walking towards the elevators, still hearing voices of agents behind him, who were deciding on the order.

Pediatric floor of the hospital was as always busy. Kids running around, parents trying to keep up with them, crying children from everywhere you can imagine and on top of that walls with so many colours, that he thought that someone vomited on them. He had no problem of finding the room where you were. Of course with a help from nurses.

Aaron slowly opened the door from the hospital room. He was expecting for either you or the child to be asleep and he didn't want to wake anybody up. But the sight inside made just his heart to melt.

You were sitting on the couch with Allison sleeping in your arms. Her head was on your chest and arms were really tight around the back. Her moth were slightly open, just like yours. But you also had your head hung back and he was sure he'd hear your complaints about the neck pains for the next week.

Aaron slowly put the package with your favourite food and something tasty for children on the small table near the door. Then he took the blanket from the bed and put it over you and the little girl, knowing how cold you must be from laying down in one place for so long. After that he just put a light kiss on your forehead and with one last look he left the room.

Aaron got to the elevator and took out his phone, checking out one message from Emily.

If you are going to the place near the hospital and there's a girl with short red hair, then say that you would like to order for Agent Prentiss 😘

He furrowed his brows at the message and dialed her right away.

'Did I say something wrong?', she answered after one signal.

'How this girl supposed to know your order?', he asked, looking at the numbers of elevator going down.

'She'll know, trust me. I've been there many time.', Emily laughed and Aaron could practically see her smile through the phone.

'Whatever.', he sighed, hearing the ding from the elevator. 'Oh and Prentiss?', Aaron called and heard quick 'yeah' from the other side. 'Stop sending me emojis. It's highly unprofessional to do it to your boss and it's making me uncomfortable.', he ended, walking out of the hospital.

You could physically feel lighter closing the door to you home. Everything related to work you always tried to leave outside this house and treat this place like an escape. And it was a long few weeks, so you were nothing but happy and relieved that it's over.

The house was quiet and dark. You could only see dim light from the living room and just thinking about it made you smile. You took off your jacked and boots, leaving the bag at the usual place and started walking towards the light. As you saw Aaron sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, you smiled even wider. His feet were on the coffee table and he had a glass of whiskey in his hand.

You leaned on the door frame and with arms crossed on the chest, you observed him.

'I'm awake.', Aaron said with raspy voice. You knew that he was probably sitting here for a while already.

'I know.', you answered and started walking towards the cabinet with alcohols. 'Aaron Hotchner is at home before me. What's happening in this world? Did they closed the FBI building?', you joked while pouring wine into a glass and sitting next to him.

'Very funny.', he answered with a sarcasm. He put arms around your shoulders and kissed your temple.

'I actually am.', you said, taking a sip. 'But I'm glad you're here.'

'Anytime.', he hummed, placing one more kiss on your head.

'Except the time you're working.', you joked and he just rolled his eyes. 'Thank you for the dinner, by the way. Although I would get something to eat myself, you know?'

'Yeah, you would probably eat your first meal of the day right now. I know you, Y/N.', he said, caressing your arm. 'So, how's the girl?'

'Allison?', you asked, reminding yourself of her beautiful smile in your head. Aaron only nodded, taking a sip from his glass, telling you to continue. 'She's gonna be okay, I hope. But she went through a lot.'

'You got close to her.'

'Yeah.', you admitted. 'I know what you think, Aaron. I know that it's not a good thing, I Get close to those kids and then I come home and they're not there. I know how this looks like. But I swear I just want to help them.'

'I know. But also you need to realize, that when they'll go to foster care they won't have someone to look after them every minute they're there. That there's gonna be many more kids their age and the attention you're giving them right now won't be given to them anymore.', he finished, looking down at you.

'Maybe they don't have to go to foster care.', you whispered, hugging your husband closer.

'You want to adopt a child?', Aaron asked slowly getting to the conclusion and realizing something else. 'You wanna adopt Allison.'

'I do.', you admitted. 'But I won't do it.', you added, sitting straight. Aaron just gave you questioning look. 'They found her mother in Portland, she'll come and get her tomorrow. Ignoring the fact that she doesn't have any job, is living in a two bedroom apartment with four other roommates and all the money goes to the alcohol. Yeah, so Allison has a bright future ahead of her.'

'You never know.', he answered. You put head on his chest once again and laid there for few minutes in silence, trying to relax.

'So, you actually put that table together.', you said keeping the eyes in small brown table in front of you, with Aaron's feet on top.

'I thought you'll never notice.', he answered almost sounding hurt.

'Oh, I did. Just wanted to hold the suspension for a little while.', you smiled and kissed him on the lips. 'Derek did it, am I right?', you whispered, narrowing your eyes.

'No.', he answered simply.

'Liar.', you whispered again, kissing him one more time, but stopping after you hear his phone going off. 'Everything's okay?', you asked.

'Yeah, just Emily.' he answered, but started explaining seing your confused face. 'I gave Emily's number to one of the girls that she has crush on from the restaurant. And I guess she had a good evening.', he ended and showed you the text.

SSA aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner, you are truly THE  man 🥰🤭💗🍑