#hes so autistic and gender

[dbhstruggleposting]

Body Dysmorphia Connor, who looks in the mirror and only sees 1s and 0s and a blank Android model. He's physically incapable of seeing himself as anything but a machine, a tool, even when he deviates. No matter how many times Hank says he looks 'fine and normal', Connor never *feels* fine or normal.

Yes I'm projecting

[ryansosilly]

"Daddy energy Dom Ghost"? Never heard of her! Ahahahahhahahsplsstopmischaracterisinghimhahahah

Fic idea? yeah sure is one! You got a 'love confession' from THE Ghost Riley. And since he is incapable of regulating his emotions and dealing with what he feels in a healthy way..he is just... A chaotic awkward mess. Don't blame him! All he knows is pew pew and crying himself to sleep every night!!! He didn't get training for that?!!!!

Also, I'll refrain from using y/n since apparently people dislike it? Idc personally but for this specific fic, you're referred to as "you" or "[redacted]" in place of your name

Ghost was actually just as close to breaking down as he was earlier. And yesterday. And the day before that.. Well.. It would be a great fucking underestimation to even attempt to say that the way he felt has not had a 'little' punch on his psyche. Every single time he got even a single glance at you he already felt like he was in the middle of a war, his heart racing beyond any means for him to slow it other than measures he knew very well he shouldn't take. Ghost felt so sick just by thinking about very possibly confessing or even asking You for help with the way he feels that it ruined his appetite which ended up bringing your attention to him.

You were making Ghost truly lose every ounce of sanity he had left just by existing and it really pissed him off. Pissed him of a LOT. He couldn't stand for it anymore. So, after months of struggling against his pride and ego, Ghost decided it was time to confess. Or perhaps just confront you for making him feel like that. A fucking Rookie like you had absolutely no god damn right to make him feel like that?? Who did YOU think YOU are??

After a couple hours..(which were meant to be only couple minutes) of punching a punching bag while fighting against his inner turmoil and fears of love that he has yet to even realise, he finally felt hyped and confident in himself just enough to go talk with you and ask you very politely to come with him to a secluded place for a discussion.

The very moment he stepped out the training room he had secured only for himself, his face started to feel hot and hands get shaky. Perhaps not today. He immediately stepped back inside the 'gym' and continued to train to bring himself to it. Unfortunately, by that point, his comrades were getting way beyond sick of Ghost's bullshit. Everyone BUT You and Ghost himself knew. (Even though both of those could be argued..)

They didn't even bother checking on Ghost at that point, knowing how defensive he got when you were ever brought up in a conversation.

"I fucking hate youuuuuuuu, [Redacted], this is ALL your fault!"

Ghost groaned from under a pole, doing pull ups until he could not anymore. It was his way of 'relaxation'.. albeit not very effective. Groaning and cursing your name just to shut himself up at some points, his tongue lingering on the beautiful way their name sounded coming from his mouth, leading to him ending up sounding exactly like a broken record. His sentences being cut short from "curse you, [Redacted]...[Redacted]...." Between shallow shaky breaths.

...Yeah that shit was NOT cutting it.

He couldn't fucking handle it anymore. His arms were already aching and he didn't even feel remotely prepared for asking you out. What could he possibly fuck up anyway? It's just a Rookie either way... Right? He got off the damned sweaty pole and immediately went towards the door, steps heavier than even his breathing. That mask could hide only so much from his sheer embarrassment and hatred for this entire situation. He just decided to say 'fuck it' and go do it directly.

"Come on, Simon. You can do it.. you are THE Ghost. A rookie can't fucking make you act like this, you won't stand for it!"

Ghost muttered to himself, grumbling and growling with really severe irritation in his voice, yet, keeping it quiet. If anyone even heard, he was sure that he will be fucked up for eternity. Of course, Ghost was really fucking blind to the fact that everyone knew. Every single person could see right through the act and tell that Ghost was very much into the 'stupid rookie' [Redacted]..

With a raspy voice, body pumping adrenaline straight through his blood and all around, going to his brain and clouding his sense of judgement. He blindly walked past so many people, instantly letting them know exactly what was going to happen.*

"Holy shit?? Why is Ghost so..? Pumped up??" Soap whispered, mouth agape as Ghost rushed through the corridors, going towards the 'Little stupid rookie's hideout' as he would call it.. Soap had almost instantly found out Ghost when he was following around the new recruit like a lost puppy kicked out in the rain, even finding out your places to hang out after duty. Of course, Ghost never even said a single word to you directly..

Meanwhile Soap was planning a perfect gossip plan, Ghost was getting more confident with every step until he reached his destination. Staring at the door that he just wanted to kick open or just punch through with bare fists. That damned fucking door.

"...."

The very same second he grabbed the handle, he started cursing under his breath, the mask making the cursed even more muffled. He was right there, Ghost, just do it!! You can't fuck it up, it's just a god damn talk with a rookie you've done a thousand times before!!

Ghost's breathing was getting more laboured and heavy to the point that it was...very clear that there was someone in front of your door. So you did the so-nice-thing of opening the door for him.

"..."

"..."

Ghost just stared and stared and stared...and stared, one eye starting to twitch. The silence was so fucking loud and neither you or him was breaking it. After maybe 10 full minutes of pitch silence and him being completely still just staring directly into your eyes, he found the ego within him to clear his throat and cross his arms, lifting his chin up and shutting his eyes to show his normal 'Big boss' attitude.

"You little fucking twat. I hate you, I hope you know that. So, come the fuck outside and I'm going to confess to you without you rejecting me. Got it?"

..yeah maybe the ego was a bit too much. It took another couple seconds, maybe even minutes (he couldn't tell) until he actually understood what the fuck he had just said.

"Bloody hell.....no, that's not fucking happenin-.."

Before his brain could even comprehend what happened, panic overtook him the exact moment you opened your mouth to speak. Annnnndd...BOOM. Ghost punched you directly in the face.

What the absolute fucking bloody hell??? In the name of the queen and king what did you just do, Simon??????

Without thinking twice, he managed to get his courage and immediately ran away, going into the shadows to just even attempt to understand what went that wrong? How could something as simple go THAT south??? His brain was flooding with questions that no amount of working out could clear.

So of course, he did exactly what a responsible adult would do. He fucking ignored everything and acted like nothing happened. Just staring at you from afar for the next MONTHS until YOU had the courage to come talk to HIM about it. Of course, knowing the reputation that Ghost had, there was no way a rookie would come confront him about it, right? Yeah, he was definitely fucking safe.

A small smirk appeared under his balaclava as he took a deep breath of relief, leaning against a wall outside. Definitely saved that one, didn't he? He was very convinced that he...somewhat.. got away with the 'accident '.

Oh, Simon.. that proud smile fell and slipped right off that smug face when a very...particular rookie, You, just walked right up to him.

".... You're taking the piss..."

*The amount of cold blood now circulating through his body can make a psychopath shiver. Slowly looking down at you then immediately looking away. Just the IDEA of facing you made him want to break down.*

"so.."

*you started to speak but were cut off almost instantly, he turned around and grabbed you be the shoulders.*

"have you told ANYONE about what happened?"

*He spoke very lowly but the aggression he forced into his voice to try and scare you was prominent. Of Course..it wasn't very effective when everyone and their grandma knew he wouldn't lay a finger on you... Except that one time...and that other- Nevermind. He would never do it on purpose or with ill intends.*

*Once he saw you nod, it was not even necessary to let you speak..or even let you open your mouth. Upon your attempt to speak, he put his hand right over your mouth, his eyes locked into yours. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his expression mostly unreadable.*

"I think I'm into you. No jokes, no pranks. So, reject me if you will and we'll go right back to our routine exercise, alright?"

*due to the copious amount of shame he felt, he was so distracted that..he did not even realise he was still covering your mouth. A thousand thoughts went through his head and not a single one was particularly..good. Luckily for the poor man, you reminded him to let go by tapping his hand.*

"..my bad."

*He ...apologised? Well he thinks he did but it just came off as kind of rude with his tone of voice. He took a big step back and straightened himself as if Price himself stood in front of him. Fuck it, not even Price can get him to look that stiff and..well.. uncomfortably awkward. It was even surprising to the passing by soldiers how the fuck he was this stiff that from now on, there'll be some rumours about you being some sort of a monster capable of even putting the Lieutenant down. Isn't that neat?*

"I do like you back. I wasn't going to reject you today or that day, you just ran away too quickly and.. knocked me out."

*The silence was even more deafening now, you prepared yourself for the slight possibility of another punch by reflex coming but this time, it didn't come. Ghost was lost in thought that even his quick battle thinking couldn't help him with navigating. Just..frozen there.*

"Really?"

*His words broke the silence. It didn't sound demanding or aggressive but like a genuine confused question. Almost baffled that you could ever feel the same for him.*

"..Yes?"

*You returned the word with a just as confused reply, speaking it as a question, accompanied by a nod. You attempted to cut down the distance by taking a step closer to him while he was still distracted and frozen.*

"Cool that's cool. So.. I'm asking you out. "

"Date?"

"..Maybe? Do you want to date me?"

"Yes.."

*Every single little Simon in his head was screaming right now, basically speaking and acting on autopilot. That was both a good and a bad thing..*

"Good. I'm coming for you tonight, prepare."

*Then he??... Put his hand to dab you up, fist bump and hurriedly walk away without waiting for an answer.. Even he doesn't know where that came from. He doesn't 'dab up' ANYONE, let alone someone he is interested in romantically.. Truly a confused mess of a person. Trust me, you do NOT see him for the rest of the day all the way up to the time he stalk waits for you at your front door during the unspecified time. Just showing up anytime he feels like it and taking you for a date will surely become a tradition.

[beebfreeb]

Little things about Marcille make me so so so sick. Reading a book with the first character that's anything like you at all in even a somewhat respectable way and falling in love. She doesn't know anything about the food her mother grew up eating. She is subtly different from her peers and has never been sure where she fits in. AND despite those experiences she still falls victim to prejudiced thinking. She and Kabru should be besties who verbally fight like rabid dogs.

[greyfingers]

I know people have kinda moved on from the longlegs gender topic but the heated discourse surrounding Dale's gender was always so incredibly interesting and funny to me. Like the initial criticism that he was offensive to trans women, trans women saying "we don't claim him" and calling him an ugly cis man (amazing + hilarious btw), osgood perkins wholeheartedly rejecting the whole trans idea in his AMA and then nicolas cage saying in an interview that he literally sees Dale as genderless like....

all so hysterical to watch. because as an actual agender person!! who is v sick of all our representation in media being aliens and robots, Dale's lack of gender was so incredibly obvious to me from the very start even with he/him pronouns n everyone referring to him as a man lmao. and yeah sorry I will absolutely claim him as representation if no one else will HAHA I rlly don't care that he's an ugly gross satanic murderer who lives in a basement. he's interesting and funny. one of us.

[crowzirawho]

sometimes I'm wondering why I find myself relating to so many david tennant characters to a specific extent and I've come to realize it's because he gives all of them a similar flavor of autism that in a way matches my own autism ?

[theautisticbeastsden]

I will recruit everyone to my transmasc agender alastor agenda SO HELP ME

Anyways he doesnt care abt his gender or how ppl see him, he just presents at masc bc being a woman in his time period meant he had a horrific amount of restrictions which he was not a fan of and bc he has 0 attachment to any gender he just went 'Yea ok I can present as masc. No-one will ever know'

And yea nobody knows, his gender is whatever he needs it to be to get stuff done and thats it

[ultdeimoskinnie]

I LOVE THIS LITTLE FREAK /lovingly

he’s so cute i just (cries)

[spacethenobody]

This is me ^_^ if you even care.. :3

[zukkaoru]

kunichuuranzai is great actually because it combines my favorite bsd ship (kunichuuzai) with one of the funniest bsd ships (chuuran) and one of my favorite dynamics to study (dazairanpo) and also between the three of them, chuuya dazai and ranpo probably break every single one of kunikida's ideals for his future spouse in one way or another. which is basically the number one way to make kunikida fall in love with you

[feenmies]

formalwear (again)

[naivety]

okay i need feedback from the autism mentall illness website um. this is going to read like an AITA post. brother vs half-sister (who are currently my dependents do to their own individual disabilities + ptsd/depression) spat i will skim the details on but i'm worried my sister will discount my take since i'm not autistic myself so. am i crazy to call it ableist to look at an autistic person (23) who is clearly going through it dealing w long term depression, a world that doesn't give a shit abt him, unemployment, very self-isolated and burnt out barely leaving his room because the world is an ableist dumpster fire with zero opportunities for him, and then bring up childhood abuse he's suffered and his diagnosis as reasonable factors on top of this to worry he'll [checks notes] abuse my cat just to hurt me or even worse have a breakdown and kill me and his other sibling in a violent episode, a train of thought i probably wouldn't even be having were he not [checks notes] mad at me for the first time in my life?

like i don't have any other read on this kind of fear-based characterization other than ableism. like those are very real things in his life but she never points out any current violent behavior, of which there are none, only the one (1) instance of him lashing out when he was like 14 and Officially Diagnosed Low Empathy she thinks is a concern and Hateful Looks toward her since he stopped getting along with her, that's it. i tried explaining to her why i, someone who's lived w him his entire life, can vouch for how unlikely he is to do anything like that, especially when it's again not based on anything he's actually currently doing except for isolating in a way that is much more indicative of him potentially being a danger to himself than anyone else, and being cold towards her specifically, and i thought she had let it go, but when i brought it up off-hand in a conversation tangentially related, she continued to defend and justify her Concern about the potential directions his behavior could lead to because [checks notes] other people in similar situations have lashed out and killed their entire families according to. true crime books or videos she's watched on youtube as far as i'm aware. ignoring the fact that her and i have had the same or Worse childhood abuse and have acted similarly isolated in the past, or for her literally just as currently as him, and she's not expressed any worry past or present about either of us doing anything like that, in my opinion obviously because i haven't cut her off due to our differences like he decided to. like am i big sibling biased because this is pissing me off so bad.

[ghostboyhood]

sorry

[birdricks]

every member of the smith/sanchez family is autistic and queer. see my vision

[thoughts-from-the-toy-box]

My partner and I can't get legally married or else he'll lose his SSI. . . The USA is a hellscape and I kind of just need to shout that into the void for a minute.

[thatchaotictiefling]

I am a trans feminine Even Kelmp truther and I really hope this new season adds fuel to that fire

[polariod240]

Koji Kabuto might be an hero to most, but he hates it and tries his best to be a menace to society instead.

It was fun when he was 14 and suddently people started caring about him, after being tossed aside by family members all his life. However, as time passed, he noticed that media only cared to show an idealized version of himself.

Reporters, politicians, rich enterpreneurs and influencial people alike acted like he was an expendable caricature to use for their own goals.

He was described as an hero, a selfless strong young man who would have sacrificed himself to save Japan from Doctor Hell's mechanical beasts. His grandfather, who was Hell's second in command and ran away with Mazinger Z one night, now was regarded as a tragic hero, too.

He remembers how his estranged grandfather crashed at his and Shiro's apartment one night, begging his older nephew to help him out with something. Shiro was watching cartoons on tv, while Koji was cleaning the dishes. Koji didn't even know how to feed Shiro the next day, so he couldn't give a fuck about this pathetic (maybe drunk?) old man. The teen tried to push Juzo away towards the door, but he couldn't ignore the explosion that came after: the apartment crumbled down in a matter of seconds. Koji heard Shiro's muffled scream somewhere, he didn't know what happened or what to do, but he had to save him. Nothing else mattered, so that's why he cared to listen what the old fuck had to say now. He remembers how his grandfather looked at him once he got inside Mazinger Z's head for the first time.

He was smiling. Koji had never been great at identifying facial clues in others, but he felt like his grandfather was waiting for something amazing to happen. But Koji didn't care, he dashed to save Shiro who was stuck under a wooden desk. When he came back to the Juzo, the man had stopped smiling. They stood in silence for a couple of seconds, then Juzo broke the silence with a disappointed look on his face.

JUZO: "How"

KOJI: "HOW WHAT? IS THIS YOUR FAULT, FUCKHEAD?! YOU'RE LUCKY SHIRO IS-"

But then, the older man looked at him with disgust. Koji knew that stare very well, so he closed his eyes and gently hid Shiro inside Mazinger's metallic palm.

JUZO:"I failed"

That's all he said. Then Koji heard a gunshot that made his body shiver in terror, but he stayed still. He couldn't move nor look at what happened at the robot's feet, but he knew Shiro was crying inside Mazinger's hand and he had to protect him at all costs. So he never looked back at his grandfather, because he knew he couldn't say anything else anymore now.

So yeah, Koji hates when people call Juzo Kabuto an hero on national television.

So, what was I saying? Oh, right!

Why would anyone have done anything about Doctor Hell when they got this very veeery special kid that was able to pilot a doomsday machine all by himself, afterall?

Whoopsie, did I say that Mazinger Z was built to be a doomsday machine? I mean, that's what Hell and Kabuto original plan was, anyway. They based Mazinger Z on an ancient lost Mycenian robot-golem weapon that was said to have destroyed the Mu Empire overnight. Legends said that this war golem acted like an emotional enhancer to its pilot, so no matter what the pilot felt, they would have been overwealmed by their deepest, most hidden desire and go berserk on anything that standed on their way. That's why the pilots were said to be people who had nothing to loose, like orphans, slaves and old veterans. It sounded like a great idea for a weapon intended to threat the entire world with!

That's why Koji's grandfather asked the kid for help that night. Juzo Kabuto would have become Dr. Hell's number one enemy thanks to the destructive nature of Mazinger Z, in order to conquer Earth all by himself. He had no noble intentions when he departed from Hell, he was as bad as the other guy.

Unfortunately, nor him or Hell took in consideration that neurodivergent individuals could fight against their neural link internal system. Was Juzo mad at himself for not taking this possibility into consideration? Did he even believe neurodivergent people were a real thing? Was he disgusted at Koji alone, because it meant there was something deeply "wrong" with the kid?

Or did he see himself in Koji in that moment? Did he hate himself to the point he couldn't bear accepting the fact he could be "wrong" too? We will never know and Koji never came to a conclusion either.

It's not like Mazinger Z didn't have an effect on Koji, by the way. It did, it was the main reason why Koji got very tense and bloodthirsty on the battlefield every single time! He was able to control himself enough to not go berserk, but when he was inside Mazinger Z, he needed to fight anything and anyone, at all times. When he didn't feel stimulated enough by a physical fight, he shouted on mic the most controversial punk opinions he had, because he knew he was being broadcasted on international television. News channels started censoring his live battles for this very reason. Koji keeps using this gimmick as a way to keep the press away from him to this day, so it's not so bad! Still, you couldn't touch or talk to him for a couple of hours after a fight, or even days. It was a real unpredictable mess.

Fortunately, the Mazinger Squad defeated Hell and his mechanical beasts years ago and so, Koji hasn't been able to use Mazinger Z for a while now. Sure, there was an aftermath secret cold war fought by spies and secret agents for some time, but nor Koji, Sayaka or Boss' gang were ever involved with it.

That was Tetsuya Tsurugi and Jun Hono war! Don't you worry, they never had to use a real Mazinger, since the two of them were raised as spies by Kenzo Kabuto more than anything. So they got mobile mazinger-inspired suits that totally didn't give them weirder mental side effects. :)

But ehy, when the story starts Koji (23) is back from the USA after working at NASA as an intern, Shiro(18) just won a scholarship to a prestigious french academy and both Tetsuya (28) and Jun (29) are healing and bonding with Koji like a family. Everything is going great! I surely hope Koji won't see an ufo crash landing any time soon. And I really, really hope he won't find any humanoid alien named Duke Fleed inside of said ufo, that would be a whole new type of mess to deal with.

:D