#hes like twilight if she was mentally insane

[demonir]

Medic pony! Adding onto my list of merc ponies lol

I think he'd try to surgically add pegasus wings onto himself to become an alicorn. for science!

[bonus-links]

dog days part 1 or 2!

por qué no los dos. I kinda consider it one big update anyway lol. this one might get long, I'll stick a readmore somewhere

i was insane for this. the comic will probably never be this decorated again but I had to do it at least once 😂 I try to give each era it's own subtle stylistic flair, though this is definitely the most overt one. I'm still really proud of this update!! sometimes I think I burnt myself out with this so bad tho that the first half of ch2 is pretty low on ornamentation bc of it. it takes like. a lot of extra mental energy ngl

it's slight but this whole interlude has a paper texture the rest of the updates don't :-)

there's lots of patterns to talk about here. twili patterns for the panel where wolf is zoning out.

the pattern on the sides is kind of an abstract depiction of Ordona, although her light orb is in her hands instead of the horns. I was also riffing off the patterns on a lot of the Ordonian's clothes. The green parts are pumpkin vines! those generally represent wolf himself

this is the dinner I reference at grandma's party in pt. 8

the pumpkin vines change into these kind of gold-leafed vines I often use to refer to zelda. They do this a few times throughout the update.

small detail I should include more often- wolf fidgets with his earring when he's bothered by something or thinking hard.

Lots of people have translated this in the reblogs so I won't do it here, but it's essentially a summons from Zelda to the castle. It's intentionally a little difficult to parse- Wolf is not from Hyrule. I like to imagine a difference between written Ordonian and Formal Hylian. Wolf can read it, but it doesn't come naturally. Also, Wolf is referred to as "Sir Link Goatherd of Ordon" where "Goatherd" could be both an occupation and a surname (that's actually the origins of surnames like Gothard, which I considered using)

Zelda's full name in the letter is Queen Zelda Celestia Nohansen Hyrule (though I think I write it as "Of Hyrule"). Idk if this makes sense actually, but it was meant to be a nod to the fact that TP is a parallel timeline to WW. WW had King Nohansen, so I imagine that as part of TP Zelda's lineage.

Wolf agreed to be a Royal Knight on the basis that it was only a formality, but then Zelda started actually summoning him to things anyway. He basically ignores them all, but they've been coming with increasing frequency. In Zelda's defense, the political situation she's dealing with trying to rebuild the kingdom is pretty tense. She could really use his help.

my favorite part of this update!! I feel like there should be no easy way to use the shadow crystal. if you want that power, you've gotta shove it in your forehead yourself! and yes, it does hurt. His ears flatten a little in anticipation. also sidenote I think this is the best I've ever drawn him lol

I like to think Yeto and Wolf are still buds.

I think whenever Wolf wanders like this, he frequently finds himself in the desert. He's given up on looking for shards of the mirror of twilight, though.

The vines get yellow as they reach the bottom of the page- Wolf's time to hide in wolfmode is running out.

little baby spirits of light hidden in this page, except ordona

who's hiding on this page instead! while Link the Cat reminds Wolf it's probably time to go back to his family in Ordon.

Wolf can't turn back into a human on his own, so he has to return to the sacred grove to reach the master sword. And yes, Skull Kid makes him play hide and seek every time 😂

those are midna's hands on either side.

this pattern has the organic shapes of the world of light, rather than the geometric twili patterns, showing that Wolf has immediately clocked that it's not a portal to the twilight realm. but alas, it's too late to turn back.

In terms of the timeline, while Loft and Slate trek across Hyrule to Hateno, Wolf is lost in the Lost Woods.

I wanted to put Ilia in this update more but this ended up being the only time she showed up lol

and that's all I've got! if you read all of this i love u

[hauntingrabbits]

More Batman/My Little Pony au art because these are ridiculously fun to draw. Part 3 here! Part 1 here!

More info under the cut!

1. Sweet Talk/The Harlequin (Harleen Quinzel)

Originally contracted to work as a psychiatrist for the Tartarus villain redemption program, Sweet Talk had a unique relationship with the Joker. This relationship was proven to be even stranger than her coworkers had originally assumed when she broke him out and joined him in his life of crime.

Devoting herself entirely to her new life and relationship with the joker, she covers her original cutie mark at all times. Snce her horn was snapped she can no longer cast precise spells, leaving her magic mostly emotion-based and intensely volatile, (typically manifesting in the form of sparks, zaps, and explosions).

Other Notes:

-Using Tartarus as a substitute for Arkham Asylum for this au because why not.

-The villain redemption program did NOT go well. Sorry Twilight.

-Mostly based on BTAS Harley because I adore the original costume.

-Her horn was cracked by the Joker

2. Pudding Pie/The Joker (The Joker)

Batpony’s most notorious foe. Said to have been just a regular pony until he fell into a vat at an Ace Potions factory during a conflict with Batpony.

He doesn’t have a Cutie Mark, but it’s unclear whether this was always the case or instead a result of his accident. The effects of permanent Cutie Mark loss—the only known cases of which occurred via long-banned magic and/or traumatic injury—are largely unstudied, and it’s ramifications are unknown. Some ponies theorize this may be the reason for the Joker’s mental state and general disposition.  

Sundown has a different opinion on the matter.

Other notes:

-Based mostly on BTAS joker and the ‘89 Nicholson joker.

-His name is just based on Harley’s “pudding” nickname for in in a lot of versions, but I think it would also be hilarious if he was a distant relative of Pinkie Pie.

-I could leave it ambiguous but. Yeah the potion vat didn’t actually do anything beyond slightly altering his physical appearance. He’s just like that and he never got a cutie mark in the first place.

3. Gadiel/Scarecrow (Jonathan Crane)

Raised among ponies, Gadiel was relentlessly bullied for being gangly and birdish, earning him the nickname “Scarecrow” in his youth. Though he later successfully became a professor and psychologist in Gotham, Gadiel was eventually fired when he was found to be testing his fear-inducing potions on his students and purposefully putting them through terrifying and dangerous situations. Deciding to take his experiments to the masses, Gadiel donned the mantle of Scarecrow and weaponized fear to become a career criminal.

As the Scarecrow, he’s known for his skill in manipulation, psychological torture, and crafting dangerous potions and gas. The effects of fear on magical creatures are unique and intense, much to Gadiel’s delight and interest.

Other Notes:

-I wanted to make his front half a crane but I couldn’t get the long neck to work right with the mask, so he’s more crow-like instead.

-according to the wiki 1/3 of Griffin names start with a G so naturally I was extremely tempted to name him Gonathon and you should all be very grateful I did not. The name Gadiel has origins in the bible as the name of an archangel which I thought was fitting given the insane religious trauma some versions of the scarecrow went through. I thought about trying to do something similar for this version but given that the mlp universe uses Princess Celestia as a replacement for God in expressions like “Celestia knows where” and “Oh my Celestia” I wasn’t really sure how to go about it. There’s probably some kind of sun-worshipping thing in equestria idk.

-I spent a long time on the mlp wiki but from what I could find the only “fear” magic in the show is just used by one guy and its just called “dark magic”. I thought for sure there would’ve been some random plant or magical creature they dealt with at some point that maybe did something similar I could use for his blurb but unfortunately there was not.

4. Mandible/Falseface (Basil Karlo/Matt Hagen)

Hungry and deeply resentful of the changeling queen for forcing her underlings to share what little stolen love they had with her, Mandible went rogue early on and split off from the hive to pursue his own ventures. Finding success under the name Claypose as a pony actor in Gotham, he was sustained primarily by the one-sided love of his fans for years, despite the false identity having no real prior personal relationships to leech from. 

After a magical special effects accident on set revealed his true nature, he went into hiding and immediately started crafting a new persona, but soon found in his distress and rage over losing his identity as Claypose that he could no longer sustain any disguise long enough to keep up a long-term facade. Blaming the accident, he targeted the unicorn responsible by posing as his wife to leech his love, but ended up killing the pony in a panic when his disguise failed much faster than he’d anticipated it would. Unable to keep up a new identity or return to the hive, Mandible turned to a life of crime instead, doing dirty work for the bigger criminal names in Gotham and leeching love from his employer’s targets to survive.

Other notes:

-Clayface being a changeling was an obvious pick given his power set but I really wasn’t sure how to tackle the main issue of him being unable to keep a solid form for long. I went with his distress and frustration being the main thing keeping his disguise flimsy (so he gets put in kind of an ourobouros cycle where his disguise being bad makes him upset but him being upset makes it harder to fix his disguise), but the magic accident probably also contributed somehow.

-Why are all the changelings straight up just named after body parts in this show whats that about. The “Clay” in Claypose is obviously a reference to his title/schtick in the comics while the “pose” comes from both his job as an actor and the fact that he’s posing as a pony. Mandible is the name for the jaw part of an insect.

-there's actually an entirely different batman villain called falseface in the '66 series (…and another in the comics apparently, whoops) but I couldn't come up with anything better. Changeface just does not roll off the tongue.

3. Winglon/Killer Drake (Waylon Jones)

Originally intended to be used in an entrance exam, his egg was stolen from a Canterlot delivery cart on its way to Celestia’s school of magic and sold on the black market to a Pony Island circus. Raised to be part of the freak show, Winglon was pitted against circus performers and overconfident challengers in ring fights for money and entertainment. Enduring abuse and injury throughout his life from ponies that he was always fundamentally stronger than, it was only a matter of time until he snapped. Garnering the name Killer Drake for his actions, Winglon escaped into the Gotham sewer system.

Not knowing how to return to the dragonlands or whether he’d even fit into dragon society at all, he continues to lurk in the dark away from any life, deeply resenting ponies and all other manner of magical creatures that make friends with them.

Other notes:

-I like silly names ok. Winglon Jones. -I like the theory that the dragon egg used for Twilight’s entrance exam was actually fake/meant to be a no-win scenario, but I also don’t think it would be that hard for enterprising ponies to get their hands on dragon eggs. The practice probably stopped in the later seasons when they made friends with the dragonlands or whatever though.

-Given that dragons threaten to eat or kill ponies at multiple points in the show, the cannibalism is actually kind of understandable. And also not even cannibalism anymore. Still murder though.

[piracytheorist]

In Life, And in Death (1/11)

Fandom: Spy x Family Word count: 4.1k for this chapter | 32.4k in total Rating: T Warnings: Temporary character death, graphic violence, horror imagery, body horror, mild gore, whump, language Cover art by @buf309

Summary: Anya is kidnapped, and Twilight is thrown into the horrors of a mysterious, deadly village. Forced and then choosing to survive its trials - physical and mental - he's brought to figure out who he truly is. (A Resident Evil Village fusion)

AO3

~

Author's Note: Probably my most insane fanfic project yet. After I successfully probed SOMEONE, aka @spencer-is-someone, into watching a Resident Evil Village gameplay, they fell in love with Ethan Winters but felt he went through too much in the game, prompting the idea "What if Loid went through all that stuff instead". And well, 32 thousand words later, here I am, inflicting this literal horror upon y'all.

I made a post about it, and the absolutely wonderful @buf309 went and made this amazing cover art, and I literally couldn't be more thankful for that. I was so amazed when I saw the first draft sketch that I went like I'M GONNA WAIT TILL IT'S READY TO POST THE FIC. Seriously, words cannot describe how grateful I am, I sincerely hope the fic feels satisfying enough for the work you've done <3

If you know how the Resident Evil Village story goes, this is pretty much the same... yes, in all of its "parts-in-jars" glory (if you know you know, if you don't you will soon), just with Twilight taking the place of Ethan Winters. There will be a few changes from the original story to fit Twilight's character, some to facilitate the adaptation from game narrative to fanfic narrative, some to fit my own tastes, and an actually hopeful ending because we were all left heartbroken after the ending of RE Village so might as well pour some healing juice to put our hearts back together same way Ethan puts his limbs back together and hope for the best.

Do take note of the warnings, please. There is one part of the story I actually had chills while writing (yes, that part for those of you who know, it will be slightly changed but the essence will be the same) and it is based on the story of a horror/survival game, so make sure you're okay to read something as intense as this.

The story is written in full, though I'm still doing small bits of editing here and there. I don't have a posting schedule, but I'm thinking of updating twice a week, or once if I see the editing is taking longer. Chapter titles are taken from track titles of the game's original soundtrack.

So yeah, long intro over, take not of the warnings, I hope you enjoy if you read on!

~

Chapter 1: Bloodthirsty

~

“Anya, don’t sit so close to the TV,” Loid said, not looking up from the counter.

Unsurprisingly, there was no response. He wouldn’t doubt that she hadn’t even heard him, let alone acknowledged his request.

He picked up a handful of minced meat to mould into a burger steak, deciding to give her another reminder in two minutes from now. Yor had just left to walk Bond, so it was only his direction she had to follow – and she was starting to make clear whose directions she preferred to follow nowadays.

He placed the burger on the pan as his body tensed. A split second later, the door burst open.

He jumped through the opening between the kitchen and the living room, but even that seemed a pointless blessing as thick smoke quickly covered the apartment.

He rushed through it to grab Anya, who trembled against him, but he didn’t have the time to move away from the shots.

Two silenced shots, piercing through his clothes and reaching into the skin of his back.

No blood. But they were pinching his skin, and he immediately felt groggy…

He dropped to his side, unable to move as figures approached him. One of them took Anya.

“PAPA!” she screamed at him.

He feebly raised his hand. “Wait,” was the only thing he could say, before his hand dropped.

More figures approached him, and then his vision went dark.

~

Focus, Twilight.

Don’t open your eyes yet. Don’t alert the enemy yet.

He held his breath for a moment.

He was somewhere cold, outside.

He could feel something soft but freezing underneath him. Snow?

His hair didn’t feel wet, so he mustn’t have been lying there long.

It was quiet. He could only hear distant sounds of wind and crows flying somewhere close.

He couldn’t feel anyone’s presence, so he decided to open one single eye to check.

But then both his eyes shot wide open.

In front of him stood a magnificent gothic mansion. It could be a mansion, or it could be a damn castle. It was surrounded by a thick wall, like a fortress.

He sat up. He was indeed lying on the snow, but it was the least of his concerns right now.

He had apparently been placed on the castle’s garden. Right in the middle of the winter, it was only decorated by a few naked trees as well as three scarecrows.

Those didn’t seem to do their job well enough, he thought, as crows still flew around, some even sitting on them.

He got up, checking himself for injuries. He couldn’t feel any pain or any indication of pierced skin. How had they drugged him?

It was then he realized he was now wearing his jacket.

Had they dressed him for the cold? While taking off his apron and the gloves he wore while preparing food?

What the hell?

Where even was this place?

Why was he brought here?

Where was Anya?

His attention was drawn back to the apparently useless scarecrows, and a chill ran down his spine – unrelated to the cold – when he noticed something eerie about them.

Carefully, he took a few steps towards them.

His breath caught in his throat when he was close enough to notice.

Those weren’t plain scarecrows.

Those were actual, human bodies hanging on wooden crosses.

His breath finally came out shaky, forming a cloud.

What the hell was this place?

Unable to quell his curiosity, he stepped closer, trying to notice for any details on the bodies, in case he recognized them.

All three seemed to be men, of ages between thirty and fifty, and they couldn’t have been dead for longer than a week or so. The cold might have preserved their bodies, but exposure to the outside would do as much more damage.

He couldn’t recognize any of their faces – or what was left of them.

Well, he didn’t even know where he was, how far away from Berlint or even in Ostania for that matter.

He clenched his hands into fists and turned around, looking around the walls surrounding the castle.

There was a huge metal door blocking the path outside. No climbing the wall; it was too smooth and covered in even more slippery ice. Climbing the trees wouldn’t give him enough height to swing himself out.

Which meant, his only way of getting answers was through the castle.

He must have been placed there for a reason, after all, and if they’d wanted to kill him they would have already done so.

He reached the entrance, and the door swung open easily.

The entrance hall was as luxuriously decorated as the outside hinted at. A lush burgundy carpet went up the few steps, leading to a wall where a painting of three young women hung.

The door closed behind him, and he didn’t miss the definitive clang as metal bars started descending right in front of it.

He turned, and for a few seconds he weighed his options.

He could break the door quickly enough before the bars descended too low, and slip outside.

But then again, they obviously wanted him in there, and again, it didn’t seem that killing him was their priority.

He faced forward, ignoring the sound of the bars trapping him in there.

He might as well play their game.

He walked to the painting. Underneath it was an inscription that wrote “Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra.”

Which one was which?

The women on the painting didn’t seem too different from each other. The painting itself didn’t seem all too enlightening, either; it looked like any common Romantic-style oil painting.

Well, it wasn’t going to give him any answers, would it?

He turned around, walking down a corridor and out into another, larger hall. He noticed how warm the whole building was, despite the freezing weather outside and the apparently old construction of the place.

This hall had hanging, lit candles all over the walls, though they couldn’t be the source of the heating. The lighting was low, but lucky for him, he’d been trained enough in low lighting for that not to be an issue.

He jerked back at the sound of a swarm of flies coming his way, then he sensed someone’s presence.

Flies, he could handle.

But then the flies started gathering together, and within seconds they morphed into three women, dressed in black hooded cloaks.

“Wha—?” he whispered.

“Looking for Anya?” a voice said, and he assumed it’d come from one of the women. Who had just formed from flies.

The absurdity of his situation almost made him forget that she had just mentioned Anya.

Which meant they probably knew where she was.

However, he was too shocked by the sight that he couldn’t move when one of the women, all of whom were cackling, approached him and pushed him backwards.

She swung the scythe she held in her hand, and he pulled his legs away just before she could bury it in his calf.

“Oh, he’s feisty!” the woman said with a wide smile.

Her arm then almost zapped through the air, and his left leg was exploding in pain before he could even register the movement.

He yelped in pain as she leaned closer to him and took a long sniff.

Her mouth and jaw were covered in blood, though her blond hair looked pristine clean.

“Mmm, man-blood,” she said.

She then leaned back and started dragging him, by the scythe embedded in his leg, as he still lay helplessly on the ground.

She was too fast. He flailed around, trying to grab at anything they passed by to make her stop, even though that would mean the scythe would rip his entire leg open, but then another woman reached his other side and buried her scythe in his right leg.

He threw his head back, biting down another yell of pain.

Could he just have one moment?!

The women dragged him down another corridor and into what he quickly realized was a bedroom. They removed their scythes, and he quickly reached to assess the damage, when he heard the blond woman say “Mother, I bring you fresh prey,” as she pointed at him with her hand.

“You are so kind to me, daughters,” came a voice of a woman who sounded older than them.

Older, and bigger.

She was sitting on a massive chair, holding an equally massive glass of red wine. She took a sip from it, then stood up and turned to him, saying, “Now, lets take a look at him.”

He raised his head to look at her.

And then raised it higher.

She had the build of a muscular woman, with curves proportionate to her height, which must have been about three meters tall. She wore a black wide-brimmed hat over her chin-length black hair, and a long white dress that reached down to her feet, though she moved comfortably in it.

“Well, well. Loid Forger,” she said. “Came looking for your daughter, I presume?”

He sat there, frozen.

They knew who he was – or at least pretended to be? And they knew Anya was also taken?

She walked closer to him, smiling as she put her hands on her hips. “For you to think you can waltz right in here—let’s see how special you are,” she nearly purred.

She threw her hands up in a sign for something, and two of the younger women said “Yes, mother,” as they grabbed his arms and pulled him up.

His first thought was that he was standing up surprisingly well for just having had two scythes ran through his legs.

His second thought was terror as one woman grabbed his hand, and the other produced a very sharp-looking knife.

Before he could jerk back, she sliced his palm open.

He bit back a grunt; it wasn’t a deep cut, but it would be annoying…

His last thought trailed off as the tall woman reached down, grabbed his hand, brought it to her lips… and started sucking.

Now he really was frozen in terror.

What the hell was this nightmare?

The woman pulled her head back, licking at her lips with a blood-soaked tongue.

She threw his hand away. “Hmm,” she said. “Still fresh, but only barely.”

He wrapped his hand into a fist, keeping it close to his chest.

“Then let’s devour his man-flesh quickly, mother!” one of the women said, handing a handkerchief to her.

“But I’m the one who captured him!” the blond woman protested.

“Now, now, daughters,” the tall woman said, patting at her lips with the handkerchief. “First, I must inform Mother Miranda. But later, well, there will be enough for everyone.” She threw the handkerchief aside, smiling down at him. “Put him up!”

The young women surrounded him, and though he struggled, they were too strong for him as they put heavy manacles on his wrists.

A thick build, but he could break out of them with little effort.

But then, they secured a chain to them, and the chain started going up. He was lifted off his feet, and started grunting as the full force of his weight fell on his wrists.

Don’t say anything. Don’t let them take a hold of any weaknesses.

He clenched his jaw, keeping his voice from making any sounds as they headed out of the room. The tall woman had to bend to get through that door, and one of the young women – the second one who had stabbed his leg – bent down and picked up the discarded handkerchief, smelling the blood on it and laughing, as she followed them.

Breathing hard, he looked up at the manacles.

The pain was intense but manageable, though he already felt the tingling of numbness in his fingers. By his calculations, he had about fifteen or so minutes before cut blood circulation would start causing permanent damage.

Escape, first. Then you can freak out.

He grabbed the chain and dragged his body up. Though his legs were still bleeding, he brought them up so he could hold the chain between his feet.

He was gasping by the time he managed that, but at least he had less pain on his hands and a better view of the manacles.

They were old and rusty, but seemed to have a fairly standard locking mechanism. Bringing his body closer, he fished the lockpick out from a hidden pocket of his jacket.

Biting his lip, he worked through the lock of the right manacle. Just as it opened, his feet slipped from the chain and dropped down, causing all of his weight to drop onto his injured left hand.

The pain knocked the air out of his lungs.

Think! Think! Pull yourself together!

Taking in a laboured breath, he looked back up.

The lockpick had slipped from his hand and was now too far down for him to get it. His right hand was free, but he didn’t have any other options left.

Reaching up, he wrapped his free hand around his left thumb, and with a sharp pull, he dislocated it.

As his other hand was coated in blood from the cut, his wrist slipped through the manacle as soon as his thumb wasn’t in the way.

He dropped to the ground clumsily, not managing to balance his landing.

Wheezing, he looked at his left hand.

Bleeding, and a dislocated thumb.

He gave himself ten seconds.

Ten seconds to wonder where the hell he had gotten himself into, what that tall woman even was, standing at three meters tall and drinking blood, and what her “daughters” were, emerging from flies and also participating in… blood drinking? Cannibalism?

Ten seconds, and he was back to himself.

Focus, Twilight.

He looked at his legs – they were still bleeding, but he felt confident he could stand on them. Though those scythes looked sharp, they must have split a tendon or two apart.

At the corner of the room stood a vanity table, and on top of it, along with various cosmetics, lay a small green bottle with a cross on the label.

He stood up carefully, glad that his legs weren’t trembling. He picked up the bottle, carefully reading the label.

Medical alcohol.

Not one to trust this place that much, he opened the lid, and sure enough, it smelled like ethyl alcohol.

He sat down with a grunt, pulling his right trouser up. He didn’t have any clean gauze, so his only option was to pour liquid right over the wound.

He braced himself for the sting of pain, but instead, the liquid brought a cool, numbing sensation.

And then, right in front of his eyes, his wound closed then disappeared completely.

He stared at it.

Ten more seconds.

What the hell.

He looked at the bottle again. Medical alcohol, it said. It smelled like it too.

He looked back at his leg, raising his other trouser where the other wound still stood.

What the hell?!

Uncertain, he poured a little less liquid over that wound.

The wound immediately stopped bleeding as new skin seemed to form, though it didn’t heal completely.

He let out a breath. If he were honest with himself, this wasn’t really the weirdest thing to happen in the last few minutes, was it?

He turned to his mangled hand. Just how much could that liquid heal?

He poured an equal dosage to it, and was still surprised to see his thumb painlessly slide into its place, as well as the cut close completely.

Well, at least it could be useful.

He didn’t have time to worry over the supernatural. He had to get out of there, and find out where Anya was.

He took the path of unlocked doors, as he didn’t want to waste time and noise trying to break the lock of every locked door he found. Breaking the windows wouldn’t lead him anywhere – each one was sealed shut, and though he wasn’t averse to turning into a hooligan for the sake of escaping, the entire castle seemed to be surrounded by that wall.

He needed to get to a higher floor, but the safest and most silent path led him to the basement, where he found himself walking along piles and piles of dead bodies.

He had to hold his breath as he passed them by; apparently the occupants of the castle had the habit of feasting on the blood of humans, and did it so often that the amount of bodies was too big to act as decoration for their garden.

It was all men, however. As young as twenty-three, from what he could gather with a quick look.

The fly-women seemed to be confident enough in their hunting that they didn’t take away the handgun from one of the more fresh bodies. Twilight couldn’t tell if that was a police officer, a soldier, or a man aware of what he’d been dealing with, but it didn’t matter to him. He undid the holster, as gently as he could out of respect of the deceased man, and he put it on under his jacket.

He checked the magazine. Ten bullets out of sixteen.

He looked at the man. Had he shot those first six bullets right before he was killed?

The man had a shoulder bag on him, and inside was a box of bullets, a total of forty. He slid that too over his own shoulder.

He kept the safety on the gun on, but held it in his hand. He picked up a hunting knife from one of the other bodies and walked on.

As the bodies thinned out, he found a lone skeletal figure draped in a plain canvas cloak. The limbs stood out, bare, emaciated, and rotting. While other bodies were in a similar state of decomposition, they were fully clothed, at most with a few rips in their clothes. This one was the only one so bare.

And it was holding a scythe in its hand, old and rusty in comparison to the women’s scythes, but still sharp enough to do harm.

He approached it carefully, keeping both hands on the gun.

He thanked his training for that, as the figure moved when he passed right by it.

He yelped in shock, moving away from it and raising his gun at it.

“Stop!” he said. “Don’t move!”

The creature, whatever that was, didn’t seem like it listened let alone register his words. It stood up, hunched over, then lunged at him with the scythe.

Not finding any alternatives, he shot right at its head.

The creature jerked back as a screech left its mouth.

Twilight held his breath.

His blood froze when he saw it still stand on its legs and try to swing at him again.

He shot again. He was perfectly certain the bullet got through its head.

Yet the creature moved again.

And he shot again.

Only now did the creature finally drop to its knees, but it was still screeching and growling.

Desperate, Twilight took the knife and drove it through the creature’s skull, three times, until he felt it stop moving.

It collapsed on the floor.

Hell knew if it would rise again. It was supposed to be dead already, wasn’t it?

He turned around and ran.

There were more creatures on the way. Some he slashed at with the knife, some he shot at, some he simply ran away from. A few managed to nick him with their scythes, and if he were honest, he was more worried about infections than the injuries themselves.

As he found a quiet corner, he pulled out the alcohol – or whatever that was. It seemed to work on the nicks too, making them close quickly and painlessly.

He supported himself on the wall, forcing his breath to calm down.

He had to get out. Now.

Holding the gun tight to his hand, he moved to leave, but then a buzzing and a voice sounded from behind him.

“Hmm. Warm, bright, red blood.”

He didn’t turn to look at her. He knew it was the blond woman.

He made a run for it as flies swarmed around him, until he found a staircase going up, reaching into what looked like a kitchen area.

“Where are you going, little one?”

The woman appeared right in front of him, cutting off his path. She was smiling at him, surrounded by flies, her face still stained with blood.

“I just want to find Anya,” he managed.

“Aw,” she said. She then pushed him back and he fell on the ground. She lay over him, reaching at his neck and biting.

Yelling, he took the gun and fired twice at her stomach.

She reached up, laughing as fresh blood ran from her lips.

He shot at her head.

“Your bullets cannot harm m—”

Her voice cut off when another of his shots passed through her and hit the window behind her.

The glass cracked, and it quickly shattered as a cold gust of wind blew into the room.

The gust threw the woman’s hood off her head. Twilight tightened his hold on the gun when he spotted a massive, fleshy scar on her temple, a bald spot from her long hair.

The woman shrieked, then growled. Her skin, already pale as it was, seemed to start cracking and turn grey. She looked at her hands, still gasping in pain, and then turned to him, yelling, “You stupid man-thing!”

His mind finally picked up the pace. The cold made her weak?

He stood up, raising his gun at her.

“How dare you bare your teeth at us!” she shouted, then lunged at him with her scythe.

He managed to block her attack, pushing her back, and he shot at her face.

She groaned, still standing, but she said, “What? My body—it’s breaking…”

He kept his gun up. “Just let me go,” he said.

A wild rumble came from her mouth as she turned to attack him again. She reached him, and he could only block her at the last moment, his arms taking the full blow of her scythe. “Give up!” she said, reaching back for another swing of her weapon.

He shot twice at her head, and she yelled again.

The flies seemed to drop in numbers, and her skin cracked more and more. He barely managed to avoid two more of her attacks, and then she fell on him, ready to bite his head off, he supposed in the split second it took him to kick her off of him.

He shot two more times.

“This can’t be,” she said, weakly now, her body swaying.

“Let me go!” he repeated, taking two steps back.

She screamed and reached back with her scythe, and he shot again.

And then a sizzling sound came from her body, as she started swinging wildly, not reaching anything. She groaned and groaned, and her body transformed.

It seemed to calcify into gravel, as she slowly stopped moving, her hand still up in a pose of attack.

And then it broke down.

Whatever it was, it cracked into small pieces, and what started as the form of a woman was now a pile of something on the ground.

Breathing hard, he leaned his back on the wall behind him and slid down to the floor.

His hands were trembling, his feet felt like water.

What the hell was all that?

Were was he?

Why was he brought here?

And where was Anya?

What were those creatures…?

He closed his eyes. Ten seconds. Just ten seconds to freak out.

He just had to get out. Find Anya and…

He opened his eyes, his throat tensing.

Did he really have to find her?

As far as he was concerned, right now she was a liability to him. He had to prioritize his safety first.

It wasn’t like there were piles of bodies of dead girls around, was it?

Letting out a deep sigh, he stood back up. The woman had managed to hurt him a little, but the healing liquid was in short supply and he could handle those injuries up to a point.

The woman. Who was now a pile of ash.

Calm down, Twilight. Get yourself in order and find a way out.

The castle proved massive, and he couldn’t find any viable exit paths even as he seemed to reach what looked like hallways reaching into bedrooms.

Then, a mournful scream sounded from a floor below.

“What have you done to my daughter?!”

His blood chilled. If the “daughter” had been that vicious, he didn’t want to face whatever her mother had in store for him.

[bunnakit]

last twilight e8 thoughts, feelings, and tears

ok i cried for like 10 minutes after the episode ended so forgive me if this isn't up to par of what i usually do. apparently i'm fragile today.

there was a lot i liked and didn't like about this scene. in the past we've seen Day cling to the idea that someday he'll see again, that this is all temporary. instead of reiterating that, instead of talking about the cornea transplant, he instead asks "what can i do?" it's such an insanely massive sign of his growth. i'm so fucking proud of him. it made me so fucking emotional because while he's still upset, he's still hurt, he's still angry, he realizes his reality and he's making steps to move forward with that.

what i didn't like about this scene was once again Day's mother acts like Day's life is ending. she's been the number one person to coddle Day and to reassure him of this surgery that may never happen. i know she means well but fuck. this has to stop.

i also fucking hated the doctor for this. Day isn't fucking dying, there's still so much he can do even once his sight is completely gone. sure, he'll have some limitations, i get that. i can't swim in the ocean or rivers anymore. that fucking sucked to learn right before going on my honeymoon to the beach. but you know what i could still do? walk across the beach to the little hidden tide pools, sit on the jagged rocks, and watch the crabs and fish and anemones and everything thrive in this tiny little ecosystem. it was still amazing and something i may not have done if not for my disease keeping me from going in the water.

we're limited by our disabilities but we aren't fucking dead - life goes on around us and we can either participate in it or wallow in our fate. i'll talk about this more later.

you can skip this next paragraph if you don't want to see me babble on another personal anecdote.

i will say i saw a lot of myself in this moment. something similar happened to me a few weeks ago. i learned my disability is no longer responding to the treatments and i'll have to have multiple surgeries next year to close some year old wounds and will probably need some skin grafts. my disease is no longer managed but once again getting worse. when the doctor told me i just nodded and discussed the game plan. meanwhile, my mom was heartbroken and kept asking if there was anything that could be done. (nothing that i'm not already doing.)

sometimes we just have to nod along and accept what's happening. we can cry about it and get pissed later if we have to.

ohhh there's so much i want to talk about here. Day's mom infuriates me, probably because she's the opposite of everything my mother ever was when faced with my disabilities. her constant refusal to address Day's blindness is so painful, as if it's somehow a reflection of him as a person or a stain. it's just a fact of life and her denial is doing so much more to hurt Day than to help him. as much as i hate it, though, it is realistic. it can be so hard for those close to us to acknowledge what's going on, especially when they can't experience it for themselves or they aren't around day to day.

which brings me to the part that frustrates me the most. i'm going to get REALLY personal here.

TW FOR SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH ->

i'll put another message when this little anecdote is over so ya'll can skip to that.

i've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder since i was 15. when i was 16 i tried to kill myself. my mom didn't know until last year, but at the time she knew my depression was getting to a concerning level of bad. you know what she did? she quit her job. she made any sacrifice she could to stay home with me and make sure i was safe and felt heard and taken care of. granted, she wasn't a single mother at the time but we also weren't rolling in the money. my dad was a construction worker in the early 2000s when construction work was struggling HARD.

but that's what you do for your kids, that's what you do to take care of them and make them feel heard and loved and cared for unconditionally. my depression and desire to die wasn't a stain on who i was, it was my mind holding me hostage with no way out because they couldn't give me medication until i turned 18.

OKAY IT'S SAFE NOW ->

anyway, where i was going with that is that Day's mom, as a famous chef, clearly makes enough money to take time off work, to be there for her son, to stay home and make him feel loved and cared for. there's likely a lot going on on her end of being a single mother, of feeling like she needs to prove herself and show the world she can do this alone - but her son doesn't have to do it alone just because she wants to. he needs a support system and right now all he has is Mhok.

Day's anger is so real and so justified. he must feel abandoned by his mother, by the one person that should be there to comfort him and keep him safe. her love has become conditional on the state of his eyesight.

and then she tells him he can't go? he's not a fucking child. he's a full grown man and he was just told to do things while he still can see at least a little. i told my mom the exact part of the plot and her response was "well fuck her, he's gotta go." you're god damn right he does, mom.

everything Night does feels like repentance. i need know what the story is, i need to know what caused this massive fissure between them. i don't want to comment or speculate too much but at this point i can no longer condemn Night. he's trying, he's clearly trying so fucking hard, and he clearly has so much love for his brother.

and him giving Mhok money and letting him and Day escape because he knows Day will be happier? i really hope that is a step in the right direction of mending whatever was broken between them. there are only four episodes left and i hope bare minimum half of them deal with what is going on here.

The sea remains the sea. The sand remains the sand. The sky remains the sky. Though I can't see, everything remains the way it is.

and here we are. being diagnosed with a disability is a massive change in our lives, a huge hurdle we have to climb, but at the end of the day the world still turns, life still goes on, and we can either go with it or remain stagnant. this is the culmination of everything Mhok has shown Day. Mhok has constantly brought Day out to participate in life, to learn how to navigate the world that remains unchanged. while Day's world has changed it remains the same in so many ways. this is such a beautiful moment of acceptance and peace, of healing and moving past the hurt. once again, i am so proud of Day.

he's going to be okay.

i've seen others mention it but fuck this once again drove home how soft and caring Mhok is, something that's been so constant in this episode from his willingness to help Day, to the keychains, to the escape, and now this. this little act of asking for permission, of giving Day permission, of almost asking Day 'will you kiss me?' and then Day does. Day gives Mhok the first kiss initiated by him. until now it's always been Mhok but this time Day reaches out to Mhok in this gritty, sand filled kiss. (disgusting but still lovely)

and this really drove home how safe Day feels with Mhok. they're somewhere completely new and unpredictable but he suggests they drink and participate in the party - and i love that he doesn't ask for permission but rather says 'why not?' because Mhok has never made him feel like he needs to ask for things, not things he's fully capable of deciding for himself.

and they do! they act like the young adults they are and have an amazing night of just fun and laughter and love and i fucking love that for them. how many times have we seen Day get to act his age and be carefree? it's remarkably telling how free Day feels the further he gets from home, how free his love is when he isn't worried about his family. when he's away from home Day really becomes the sun.

(also i think i might make shirts like this with my husband as a fun activity because that's really cute.)

i'm fine, i'm fine, i'm fine. (i'm lying.) the amount of love they have from here on is almost palpable. the fact that Mhok takes the time to tell Day he looks good, that he's admiring him. fuck. it makes me think of just a bit before, where we see Day linger with his fingers against the mirror. Day hasn't seen his own reflection in over a year, he has no idea what he looks like anymore. he won't get to see the way age changes him, won't get to see the wrinkles and laugh lines form on his face.

but Mhok will be there to tell him, to say how handsome he is, and without fully seeing Mhok Day will know he is equally as handsome because he knows Mhok's voice, his character, and sure he knows what everyone has said about Mhok's appearance but who he is has always been more important.

and then for them to essentially say their own vows in the light of the setting sun? oh, my loves.

Day is starting a new chapter in the book of his life, a new chapter with Mhok and hope and confidence. he's taking back control and paving his own way and no matter what comes he'll face it head on.

i started crying here and didn't stop, P'Aof please i'm sending you bills not for my therapy but for all the water i have to buy to rehydrate myself from all my tears. once again, fucking hell i'm so proud of Day.

and he tells them to have a kid soon! so he can help raise it!! just like he'll probably help raise Porjai's kid. because he no longer sees himself as incapable, as someone unable to help. Mhok has shown him how capable he is, how much he can still do.

please allow me a moment to - AAAAAAAAA.

personally i cannot wait for all the gifsets we're going to see of this moment. they danced so perfectly together because they know each other. Mhok knows Day better than anyone else, they've gone through so much, and they move so intrinsically together. i'd say they know each other better than anyone else but there's still so much of Mhok left unexplored. there's so much Day still doesn't know, so much pain Mhok is still hiding.

i can't wait for them to truly know each other inside and out (not like that, but hey it looks like we're getting that next ep eeeyy)

i'm not really going to comment on the dad showing up at the end. i feel almost nothing about that, i'm just waiting to see how that turns out and reserving my opinions for now. (i had a shit dad, i'm a little bais.)

man, i'd hoped this would be brief with how raw i was feeling and how busy i am with work but GUESS NOT. thanks for reading as always tag loves: @nutcasewithaknife @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious

[jjunbug]

dropping some more praise to you because my mind cannot rest after the dollmaker <3 !!

you have such a talent of weaving in foreshadowing throughout a story. readers really need to read in between the lines and read every word !! to see all the details you’ve added. it’s truly genius what you’ve done. again, your level of subtly in details is so so so good. the build of tension, scene settings, characterization is all so well done. you deserve to be so proud of what you’ve created. i kiss your brain !

their love literally haunts them both (in different ways). she is smothered by it physically—i.e. the dolls all around the house, but also yearns for his touch even if with undertones of violence because it fulfills her; it gives her maintaince of perfection purpose (if that makes sense?? i’m rambling idk). and he is consumed by it mentally, to the point where all his work is centered around her. there is no waking moment where they’re not on each others mind. their level of devotion is so bittersweet and sickening.

he desperately wishes to be delicate with her, his precious doll of a wife, but his hands so badly want to break and destroy in hopes of making what’s already his truly his own creation. something that cannot be taken from him (as if she was going anywhere like ㅠㅠ) and something that is everlasting. goddd this sunghoon is so morbidly beautifully in all the wrong (right 🤓👆🏼) ways !!!

i’m sooo happy you enjoyed me picking up the details i did <3 (there were so many more but those really stood out to me hehe) & i’m glad you liked the song !! it’s so fitting ?? in regards to the horror rpg game ‘mad father’ without major spoilers: dolls, experiment lab in basement ! i immediately thought it when i grasped the dollmaker concept. i think you’d like it :3

okie im done, for now.. i adore you writing and can’t wait to read more !! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

actually gonna cry from this hehe thank you so much!!! i’m so so happy that you got all the little details and such and that you really enjoyed it so much!! and thank you for all of your super sweet words!!!! literally gonna start sobbing ♡♡♡

but hehe yes!!! my favorite thing to do is add little details and foreshadowing here and there especially in stories like these where i feel it really matters to get the whole story!! i did this a lot in the prologue of between twilight skies too hehe ^^ but eeeekkk!!! hehe thank you so much!! (๑>ᴗ<๑)♡♡

and you get it so bad yes!!!! i wish i still had my notes because you saying “also yearns for his touch even with undertones of violence because it fulfills her” is LITERALLY what i wrote down how i wanted it to feel like!!!!!! like are you in my brain? their level of devotion to each other is so bittersweet and sickening and literally insane if you really think about it!!! i said this in another ask, but truly like sunghoon is split in two especially when he comes to the mc: husband sunghoon and dollmaker sunghoon. it’s truly a battle within him which one is more present and as you can see from the fic���…. we all know which one wins most of the time… he truly just cannot escape is need to make sure that she never leaves in any ways that he possibly can, that she’s always as perfect as her sees her constantly. he really is morbidly beautiful in all the wrong (right as well!!!! ☝️🤓) ways!!!!!

i’m so happy so many of these details did stick out to you!!! and the song omg omg like it really is SO fitting…. like when i first listened to it i was so amazed at how perfect for the story it is like omg????? that’s definitely mc and sunghoon to the CORE. and mad father!!!! i still haven’t checked it out yet but i will once i get the time!! hehe if it’s like the dollmaker’s concept then i know i’ll love it (∩˃o˂∩)

[cowchickenbeefpork]

How does the craving/yearning correlate to the NPD and BPD for Oswald and Edward? Mostly curious for your thoughts about it

tbh that tag was me going insane I don't fully agree with it now per se. I don't like the original post I made where I compared them to yearning and craving because I compared their relationship to that instead of who they are as people, which was my thought process. I'm not sure if I was right about yearning and borderline idealization, but i do think i was right about craving and narcissism (btw I only made that post because i was watching Contrapoints video about the fucking TWILIGHT books, and since i have the intelligence of a mere banana I connected her opinions on yearning and craving back to nygmobblepot and mental disorders because that is how I show my appreciation to anything I find cool. keep in mind the definition I am using here is stolen from her and she took notes from Shakespeare, Taylor Swift, twilight as previously mentioned, and SEINFELD FOR HER THOUGHTS. Still, she is a great YouTuber go watch her she is one of my favorites.)

what I'm considering craving as definition wise is a desire that can be satisfied but only for a moment, constantly needing to be refilled. its like craving drinking or eating, it will satisfy you but you will constantly need to do it over and over and over in your life, it can be fulfilled unlike yearning but never for long, you will always need to refill it since it will never stick. craving is also less personal than yearning since it doesn't acknowledge something is deeply missing, it provides a temporary solution for something that will which makes craving end up resembling more so something like lust instead of limerence

i view narcissistic supply similarly to this. narcissism as a disorder is just trying to keep your false self up, it can be satisfied for a while but it will always still need to be refilled because of the fact its not a genuine love for yourself. narcissism is like having an addiction to feeling special in a way, that's why the craving for admiration never stops, because since they don't naturally feel content about themselves, narcissism as a coping mechanism works as tricking both the self and others that false, idealized self is real. the craving itself is a cope to hide the yearning in a way, the craving here only exists because of a deeper deficit. edward is not aware that he yearns for love and admiration, he thinks that he can just get a bit of it and be content forever, but he wont. ( fun fact the false grandiose self is actually the main difference in bpd and npd, they do have alot of simliarties like projection and splitting and a want for admiration and love but borderlines dont have that false idealized grandiose self unless they also have npd on top of their bpd. this is probablyyyy why borderlines are more easier to maniuplate since narcissistic defendses are stronger and more durable than borderline ones, there is a reason borderlines often split on themselves while narcissists don't that much)

yearning is wanting your other half, it's wanting to inherently fill out that incomplete part of yourself. You could make a connection between BPD and yearning since things like idealization and chronic feelings of emptiness but I feel less confident in this one. the yearning will also never be fulfilled just like the craving is, Oswald thinks that he will feel fine when he finally gets it but his idea of love is idealized. That version of love he craves does not exist since love requires effort and work, and even if it did he would still fail at it because of his cannibalistic nature when it comes to love, nothing is enough for him, he will hold unto someone until their bones break. that cannibalistic desire ends up becoming similar to the craving in my head a little, because nothing will be enough. he also uses people to bring himself up ego but doesn't want to reflect on how his actions are selfish, pretty much downplaying or playing victim about it and acting like he is not as bad as the other criminals are ( both of them do this, to be honest, I would say it is different but not really besides which one plays up the other as a irrational fool more than a malicious monster out to get them and vise versa, they devalue and demonize each other in the same ways; both feel like the other just lied about ever caring for them)

basically what I am getting at here is ed thinks that he can just get his needs met if he does things that will only satisfy him temporally ( since he's a "cold logician MY ASS) and will not stop the constant, unaware yearning for genuine love while Oswald thinks he will be satisfied if he gets that, when he won't, he will want more and more until there is nothing left but bones. Oswald thinks his desire could be fulfilled perfectly if he just met the right person but no one will satisfy that hunger, he pretends he does not crave like Edward does but he still does. both of them have the same problems but both of them try to hide them differently and express them differently, edward is more ashamed looking like he is irrational and Oswald is more ashamed of being SEEN as a monster. ( neither of them like being viewed like that but both of them clearly have a preference for a different insult, edward just convinces himself that they are basically just ants who don't know better and oswald goes by a more the ends justify the means approach, edward does want to be loved and admired but he thinks that is not possible in the more traditional oswald way, so he does a bunch of crime shit instead to prove how smart he is and to get that love and admiration)

edward has the same yearning as Oswald but he pretends he doesn't, Oswald has the same craves as edward does but pretends he doesn't

[embersofthewoods]

The Way I Loved You ~ A Soukou fanfic

It was twilight, and Chuuya was sat on the roof of the mafia building, overlooking the city, smoking a cigarette, and completely lost in thought.

“You should smoke so much you know. You’ll damage your lungs – like my brother.”

Chuuya almost leapt out of his skin. “Jesus, Gin, I didn’t hear you coming.”

She only shrugged before adding, “I am an assassin. And quiet is kind of my thing.”

She sat down beside him, and swing her legs over the edge of the building. They sat in peaceful silence for a few moments, before Chuuya finally asked, “Why are you up here anyways?”

Gin gave him a look. “You’ve been up here, alone, for almost an hour.”

“So?”

“You miss him.”

Chuuya felt his face flush bright red. “What!? No, I- I mean… who are you- I don’t even know what you mean.” he declared.

“It’s alright,” said Gin, “I miss him too.”

“You- you do?” Chuuya couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Yes. Despite being excessively cruel to my brother sometimes, Dazai-san has taught him much. He was also the first person to ever give us a home. So yes, I miss him.”

“I suppose so. Why would I miss him though!?” asked Chuuya. His attempt to bluff his way out of the situation failed, as Gin gave him another look that quite clearly said ‘Don’t give me that crap.’

Chuuya sighed resignedly. “Okay. Fine. We were secretly…friends.”

“…”

“OKAY. More than friends. We- I- … Much as I hated him, - and I did hate him, - I… I think I loved him. And now… now that I’ve realised and accepted that… I miss him. So much.”

Gin looked at him silently, her soft eyes clearly indicating she understood and was listening.

“What was it like, to love him?” she asked softly.

“Wow.” Chuuya leaned back on his hands and gazed up at the stars.

“That’s a big question.

“Well, we would constantly be screaming at each other, especially in public obviously, and fighting to prove our strength.

“But then he would randomly come and drag me out of my apartment and we would kiss in the rain…” Chuuya sighed and smiled at the memory.

“And I was constantly up at like 2am, thinking of him. I would curse his name because I just couldn’t get him out of my head!! I was… I was that madly in love it made me act insane!” Chuuya punched his palm aggressively and covered his face with his hands. He peeped through his fingers and Gin, who was still listening in her quietly comprehensive way, before continuing.

“I had so many mental breakdowns, like panic attacks, and times when I would just… I had to cry in a corner.” He stopped again and glared at Gin suddenly. “You won’t tell anyone about this. Will you.” he said gruffly.

Gins eyes, filled with kindness, stared back. “Not if you don’t want me to.” she promised.

Chuuya relaxed slightly. “Good. Yeah. Well, when… that happened, it was always okay, because he was there to comfort me, and tell me ‘its okay, I’m here’. And I would always be there for him. And now…” Chuuya broke off, his voice filled with emotion. He composed himself quickly and resumed, in still a slightly shaky voice.

“Also… he was the one who encourage me to come out to you guys… do you remember?”

Gin nodded, “I do. That was so brave of you.”

Chuuya sighed sadly, “well, Dazai was the reason I has the courage to do it.

“It… I mean… the whole experience gave me a rush, like I was on a rollercoaster, ya know? It made me giddy with love and happiness, but now, its over, so suddenly. And all I feel is kind of… sick.

“But mostly… I just never knew I could feel that much. Like… I’m… I don’t… I’m hardly human. Yet all these emotions that I couldn’t explain, let alone understand just filled me, and… it was all because of him.

“So yeah. That’s the way I loved him. And God, did I love him. I see that now.”

Chuuya sniffed, and breathed deeply.

“It’s alright,” said Gin.

“I know! I’m fine!” insisted Chuuya.

“Yes. But… that’s a lot. I think you should tell him how you feel. Then maybe… he will come back. For all of us.”

Chuuya looked at her sceptically. “I could never say all that to him.”

“Well maybe, you don’t have to.”

The confusion was evident on Chuuya’s face, so Gin continued,

“You’re a musician, right?”

“How on earth do you-“ Chuuya interjected.

“Never mind how I know. But you could write him a song. Saying everything you’ve just told me.” she suggested softly.

Chuuya stared vacantly at the city.

“I… well, … maybe I could.”

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain,

And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name,

So in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you.

Breaking down and coming on out,

It's a roller coaster kind of rush,

And I never knew I could feel that much,

But that's the way I loved you

HELLO MY FRIENDS I have returned from the abyss. This fic took /ages/ as I just kept procrastinating it but it is now finally here.

Obviously I based it on the lyrics to the Taylor Swift song "The Way I Loved You". I just thought the lyrics fit Soukou so damn well. I like taking inspiration from random stuff like this :) I have more lyrics fanfics in the works so lemme know if you'd want to see that and if there's any songs or ships you'd particularly like to see :)!

AS USUAL any feedback is gratefully received. I want to know what you guys think!! I had loads of fun writing this so I hope you like it too!!

K bye I will return. Soonish. :)

Edit: oh yeah tags are a thing

[the-owl-tree]

I wish starlight had a better redemption arc. lowkey that’s the only reason I hate her outside of her dumbass backstory (I could fix it) and the lack of explanation for her being almost alicorn level gifted. like lemme tweak her backstory a bit:

she was considered exceptionally talented and everyone had high hopes for her to go far in life or could even get into celestia’s school (kinda like twilight) but she was suuuuper attached to sunburst in an unhealthy way (bpd gang rise up) leading to her revolving her entire world and life around him and when he left she completely spiraled and used her powers to keep others around her from leaving. her specialty are memory and mind altering spells since she canonically even after her “redemption” can’t seem to stop revoking other pony’s rights to free will.

she operates on pure natural talent and raw might due to lack of proper training so it was actually really easy to defeat her and send her packing out of her village. her second appearance she came back with the alicorn amulet (the one trixie had in that episode, but it was gone so fast I am ignoring it. that’s such a cool item wasted on one episode?? no) which is how she fucked with alternate the realities.

in a world where friendships and bonds are pretty much building blocks for their society I can see it being probable that pony’s without friends could suffer health wise too. not just mentally but physically. maybe she never got her cutie mark and blames friendship in general for stunting her. she doesn’t hate just twilight, she hates ALL of equestria. every other pony has someone and she has nothing and no one. no friends, no cutie mark, no purpose. just rage.

when she is defeated again, she should have faced actual consequences. send that horse to prison. idk. why did cozy glow get sent to hell. this isn’t about her.

I think a probation period or similar where she has to earn back the right to use her magic while attending the friendship school and amending her crimes would have been good to see. she her earning forgiveness. show her earning her cutie mark! show her apologizing to every pony she hurt and then accepting they won’t like her anyway! I know it’s a kids show and really they can’t do too many heavy topics, but also I hate this horse

Starlight's insane magical power without any amulets or anything bothered me, I like the idea of her getting her hands on it instead of her just being super mega OP. I get it's for the sake of the plot but it's also sort of like...does magic need to be trained? What's the point of magic schools if the average unicorn can learn a teleportation spell rather easily? do you guys ever think about how OP magic gets in the later seasons, regardless-

It felt weird that the way they chose to write her being won over by Twilight is literally forcing her between a rock and a hard place. Either start being nicies or apocalypse time forever, isn't that fun! It makes it even more disingenuous with how little time they spend redeeming her or even having her recognize the impact she's had on those around her (it bothers me the show seems more invested in how Starlight has been hurt by the Our Town debacle than the Our Town ponies). It also doesn't help her backstory is embarrassing...like girl write a letter you can levitate quills some kids have to use their damn mouths!

I disagree with her being locked up, mainly because I think MLP's weird tonal dissonance around incarceration is uh really weird for the neon pony story (seriously. why did they lock the child in tartarus, why did they turn the child to STONE). Rehabilitative justice is a GREAT thing for kids to learn, showing that anyone can change with work, kindness, and friendship (in the show at least lol)! But by not centering who Starlight hurt and just rushing through her actually working to be better, it makes her story lacklustre and half-hearted. At least in my opinion!

[khr-guilded-cage]

Where is Nana in Uchiha Yuka au?

Touka is with her, she is currently having a mental breakdown and isn't good at taking care of herself physically, still obssessed with Iemitsu and her perfect family and wants her Tsu-kun to 'come home' to her fantasy

She is kinda insane

Touka is the Psychology Student in the group, so he is kinda interessed? And genuine worried

I am kinda maybe always trying to remake her portraitred like in Tutor Twilight because that was the BEST version of that crazy woman

So yeah, anorexia and insonia are involved, and delusions, plently of them, Iemitsu kinda abandoned her because the Famiglia is on chaos after Tsuna's death and with Yuka begin a Overpowered Wildcard and causing problems for CEDEF and the Ninth Gen...

Like always

Famiglia before family

Yeah, like Tutor Twilight

I really liked the portraital of Sawada Nana's delusions and crazyness and abandonement issues. Sure, she is a crazy bitch, but its so fascinanting

[localminecraftcryptid]

Rereading the twilight series after finishing midnight sun (after putting that off lmao) just makes me wish Stephanie Meyer would do more of Edward's perspective; specifically for New Moon and Breaking Dawn.

Like I think New Moon from Edward's perspective would be amazing not only because we'd get to see what he's doing but also because he's so dramatic that it'd still have the depressive feeling that is a staple of New Moon.

Breaking Dawn I mainly want from his perspective for the drama. This man finally got to marry his first love and after like a month finds out he might lose her forever cause he got her pregnant and she wants to keep the baby; and considering he didn't understand that she wanted the baby because it's his baby and not she just wanted a kid it'd be interesting to see his thought process. Like I know he was going insane, and I want to just see the journey in his mind of going from "I'm gonna lose my wife after a month of marriage and left with a baby that's a medical mystery to my entire family" to "I can hear the baby's thoughts but might still lose my wife" to "I know I've been trying to push back/prevent this vampire transformation, but my wife is the greatest vampire of all time and I'm so in love" to "the government is threatening my family's life over a misunderstanding".

Just- he's so mentally ill and knowing his thought process in twilight wasn't enough

[mosraev]

Lyrics through the decade 3/10

I've decided to collect all the songs I've made through the last decade and share my favourite snippets with you guys. The pictures for the backgrounds will (as much as possible) be pictures I've taken the same year as the lyrics were written. The full lyrics may or may not be made official someday.

Part 3; 2015

Being the first full year I had been writing songs and the year I took one semester on what I now call my summer camp, this was a very productive year for songs. Well, it was a productive year for lyrics, I actually did only finish half of the songs I started. My lyrics became a little less angry overall and focused more on storytelling.

More info under the line

Stay creative, my fellow foxes 🦊💚

Song 1 (pic1); Pyriphlegeton.

A song named after the greek myth of the flood of fire in the underworld keeping the tormented standing so they can endure more pain, this is a song where I've taken the perspective of a woman with an undefined mental illness. Some lines however can be read through a trans lens. Fun fact: I rapped the verses on this. No I am not kidding (also I am not a rapper)

Featured lyrics:

Heartache! Her ribcage's a cage of a prison.

She's searching so hard for the brick life's missing.

Honorable mention;

She blames herself for going insane.

When all that she need is a shoulder to cry on,

Instead she chokes on water from Pyriphlegethon.

Song 2 (pic2); Icebirds

This is a fun one in that I made it as a sort of theme song for a novel length story I was writing about a boy that lived in a world where people got their mind wiped in they stepped out of line (or what he later learn is actually a brainfog repressing your memories and identity). So while the lyrics could be taken as a queer metaphor in context it is more litteral. I didn't finish either the story or the song however.

Featured lyric:

Out of the fog, clear reality to face.

How much of myself have ignorance erased?

Song 3 (pic3); Tidal Wave/Party Wave

One of the few times that I tried to write a party song. This was strange since I wrote as a typical Dane that drinks and loves parties (which I don't) but I do love this line a lot

Featured lyric:

The floor's alive with every beat.

We're the beating heart's arteries.

Song 4 (pic4); the Rabbit and the Turtle

One of the few songs with no real perspective character, instead it is about the passing of time and the ambivalent feeling I have about time in general.

Featured lyric:

today's struggles are in tomorrow's past.

Song 5 (pic5); Shout Out

A song I wrote as a tribute to the friends I've gotten in the three years of highschool (although some of the experiences mentioned go back to middleschool). One of the earlier examples of me using my own experiences in a song.

Featured lyric:

Where everyday it's a chapter, at dawn begins a new [chapter].

Song 6 (pic6); Fair Little Muse

In this song I take the perspective of a lover feeling something is wrong with their partner but not knowing what or how to communicate their worry. It is very flowery/artsy which is fitting since the muse part is inspired by the muses of greek mythology.

Featured lyric:

((Extended)) Your thoughts are roses, wild in bloom.

Are they midnight black or are they twilight blue?

While roses they wither, evergreen remains.

And snowdrops bear promises of better days.

Song 7 (pic7); Mirror on the Wall v. 2

This is a special case since it is a song that actually have two versions; one was very personal and read like a diary (version 1) and then there's one taking the perspective of a girl and a boy both having body image issues thereby depersonalising the story (version 2). And yet this line is so raw and trans coded that I cannot help but love it. I never finished this song.

Featured lyric:

Mirror on the wall, hear it smash against the floor.

I feel so wasted [and] lost in my own skin.

((Extended)) [in] this body I'm living in.

Song 8 (pic8); Mixtape

I had an idea of writing a song about two people sharing memories through their dedication to music (possibly because I was at a music camp around this time). I never finished the song but I like this first part.

Featured lyric:

I’ve made you a mixtape to soundtrack your wasted youth.

All your favorite songs are on it 'cause they’re mine too.

[bunnakit]

last twilight ep 10 thoughts, feelings, etc

back at it again at the krispy kreme friends. i cried this episode for so, so many different reasons. i'll also show you guys my raw reactions at the end of this, the insanity you guys don't see because i want you to respect me a little.

i didn't make one of these last week because i felt like that episode didn't need any words. some things you just need to feel and to talk about them cheapens what it truly is. that's not to say i didn't absolutely love everyone's posts and meta, i just thought anything i had to say could be felt in the episode itself and i didn't need to fumble my way through it.

Day is so at peace with what is going on and it's so beautiful to see, but the fact that he has to comfort his mother, that she's held onto this delusion that magically everything is going to be okay, is pretty irksome. she's had bare minimum a year, i think nearly two at this point, to accept the truth and she just hasn't and now it's biting her in the ass. but once again, this is something so realistic. i literally JUST dealt with this myself with my mother-in-law in October. once again P'Aof captures the truth of people and our natures.

and it's no wonder things have been so strained between Day and Night. she constantly forces Night to be Day's jailer, to escort him to his cell because the warden said so. it's a horrible position for her to put Night in and it's no wonder he feels so alone and abandoned by his family. it's no wonder Day resents him. Night is trying so hard to make them both love him again and he's been trapped in the middle of a war of attrition and paying penance for something that is in no way shape or form his fault. and then to later learn she HAS blamed Night? it's a horrible situation for him to be in, something he never deserved.

this was so sexy of Mhok, as most things are. you should have been there. it should have been you doing that for your SON. you should have taken the time to be there for him, to see that sight with him, to give him what he wants. but you weren't. you never are.

Day's mom stresses about Day's safety but safety is about so much more than a physical state of being. Mhok has done so much to ensure Day's mental safety and well being, he's done so much to improve Day's every day life. but that doesn't matter to her because she always refused to acknowledge things had gotten that bad. in another life Day never met Mhok and i wonder if things took a dark turn. i don't think Day was on a good trajectory.

here we reach bunn cries phase 1. i was so worried here that Mhok meant their entire relationship but i'm glad to see he just meant this chapter. they've started a new book together; no longer one about a caretaker and his charge but a man and his lover. what a gorgeous way to convey that journey. P'Aof i love you, do you know?

Night, i know i wasn't sure about you for a long time but you've really become one of my favorite people this episode. even Night can see his mom taking away Day's agency, can see her taking away everything Day has become this last year. he doesn't want his brother to disappear again, he just got him back.

god Day's bravery here. he's become so confident, so self assured, because Mhok taught him that he could be, that his blindness didn't make him weak. i know i say it every week lately but i'm so PROUD.

FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT. the way she took his phone away INFURIATED ME. you're taking away an important tool of freedom and agency from your FULL GROWN ADULT SON. where the fuck do you get off? and talking about doing things her way under her roof. if it was me i would be out of that house so fucking fast, staying with literally anyone else. the tragic thing is Day doesn't have that option. his disability has left him a victim of his mom's bullshit, given her a huge way to control him. it's disgusting, i'm sorry. i've tried to give her the benefit of the doubt for so long but she went way, way too far this episode.

even Night is sick of her shit and knows this is fucked up. Night once again i'm so sorry i doubted you. he knows how good Mhok is for Day and how good they are for each other. Mhok has only ever been kind to Night and i think that has gone a long way in Night's defense of him as well - not that i think he wouldn't have done it without that but i certainly think it has helped.

and what a fucking breakthrough this was. Day once again telling someone 'i see you.' Day is so good at seeing people once he lets go of his preconceived notions an biases. i can't imagine what a relief this was to Night to know it wasn't just his perception of the situation but something other people see and acknowledge. and he brushes it off, says it's because Day's a crying baby, but they both know that's not all of it.

bunn cries phase 2 is here. i BURST into ugly tears at this moment. it wouldn't be bunn meta if i didn't share a personal anecdote so here we go.

ANECDOTE START ->

i mentioned in my last post, prior to episode 9, that my dad was shit. i'm talking had me, an infant, in the middle of a meth den, in the middle of a raid level of bad. one of my earliest memories is a police officer kneeling down and talking to me while i colored in a coloring book and they searched the apartment. (my mom had no idea until a few years ago when a family friend shared this story. he protected me, thank fucking god.) my real dad went on to get clean (as far as i know) but was emotionally abusive among a whole slew of other issues.

when i was two years old my stepdad came into my life. he would've been just 27 at the time. he fell in love with my mom but wasn't sure if he wanted the responsibility of a kid. my mom said okay and broke up with him. they spent months miserable without each other (they've both told me their sides of this story) until my dad said okay, i can do this, and came back. and you know what? he was amazing. he didn't always get it right but he tried. he stayed up and read me The Hobbit and did silly voices for the dwarves and sang the songs and tucked me into bed and he loved me. (we have matching tattoos from that exact copy of The Hobbit, which i still have tucked away safe.)

we butt heads SO MUCH my teenage years. he had a temper and i was depressed and angry and dealing with so much teenage bullshit. but he still took me to breakfast every sunday, just the two of us, and we'd go see movies together. sundays were our day. he always called me his kid and people joked that somehow magically my mom had his kid before even meeting him. we even look alike. we have all the same tastes.

now as an adult we get along really well. (we still butt heads but it's bc we're exactly alike.) he and my mom have been together almost 30 years. he recently came into my office, a little tipsy, and hugged me and spent almost an entire hour telling me how much he loves me, how proud he is of me, how grateful he is that he had me as his kid, how having me is better than any blood child they could've had. (they tried for years but my parents were never able to have any kids.)

<- ANECDOTE END

some of the best family in the world is those that choose to be your family. i was never his responsibility, not really, but he put everything into being my dad. from just this little statement from Night i see so much of my dad in this moment and i couldn't fucking take it.

Night, i love you. i love you so much. he says it so effortlessly, so confidently. what a man.

so i acknowledge here that their mother is finally starting to get it. she's starting to get things right. she even makes Night's favorite food and makes sure he knows he's loved. she takes the time to try and understand Day, to blindfold herself like Mhok did, etc. and i acknowledge it takes people their own time to come to terms with things, to accept things, and maybe her journey of acceptance was a little longer than others.

however.

this scene shows that she always had the option to cancel. she could have always done this for Day. she could have been there. she could have taken him to the mountain and seen the sunset with him. i have to wonder if Mhok's comment really got to her, i have to believe it did. i think she finally realized that she can no longer be the one that's blind. she has to see reality. it's a big step for her and i'm happy but i'm still so annoyed it took this long for it to happen. but hey - parents fuck up. they do. they fuck us up, even if they don't mean to. once again it's something very, very real from P'Aof, even if i don't like it.

my first knee jerk reaction to this moment was wow, she's infantilizing Day again, but then i sat and really thought about it. in the context of this moment, i think this is okay. sometimes it's just nice to be cared for and Day seems completely receptive to it. fuck, i'm 31 and sometimes i just go curl up with my mom and let her pet my hair, sometimes she makes me my favorite food because she knows i had a bad day, sometimes she babies me a little because she knows i'm having a bad day with my disability.

not everything is infantilization. sometimes it's love and care, the only way they know how. sometimes all you want is a parent's familiar love from years ago. so in the context of everything, i think this was a really nice moment to see, Day taking comfort in his mom's love again.

and despite everything Day still managed to see Mhok, to show him he cares, he thought of him, and wouldn't leave him alone. and then he gives him an oven mitt he made himself, he painted himself, because Mhok took him to learn to paint without his sight. they're so fucking beautiful, so kind and gentle and loving to each other. they're so fucking considerate. Day says you're my sun, i believe in you, i'm proud of you, i support you all in one seemingly simple gift.

i'm reserving my thoughts from the preview for next week but i highly doubt things are going to turn out the way they seem to be teasing. i'll wait to see what happens.

as always thank you so much for reading my rambling bullshit. smooches, take care of yourselves, drink water, take your meds, eat something.

tag loves: @nutcasewithaknife @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious

oh yeah here are my raw reactions before i take the time to really think about everything i've watched.

[neoruby-loves-ut-aus]

Facts about Moon Frisk

Before she was born in 1501, since her parents Solar and Anora were kind, they were blessed by the Supreme God without them knowing that they had actually went through a test.

So Moon has ice and water powers because in her past life she was a female polar bear who lived in Antarctica and drowned in the water because she didn't know how to swim.

Just like Sun, she can survive lava and can breathe and talk underwater like a fish.

She has powers of a mermaid (she does not have a tail but in Mermaidverse, she can transform into a mermaid), so when you see her near a water body and standing on a rock or near a port or sitting with an angry face and she is singing, you are doomed because she will attract you and will lure you underwater where her carnivorous minions are living (they can live anywhere as they are summoned once she sings) and they will tear you to pieces. This only happens when she's angry. She can communicate with all sorts of animals and birds.

The bad Sanses and Frisks see her as a mother figure.

So, her powers genetically passed to Alexander, Twilight and Midnight.

When she was 15, she had a group of friends but when she asked them for some money to pay for Sun's coma treatment and her younger cousin brother's gun shot wound treatment, they thought she was using them for buying expensive items so they gave her fake money and fooled her. When she came to the hospital, she gave the money but was told that it was fake money. So, she rushed angrily towards her 'friends' and screamed angrily and said that both would be in danger. Then one of her ministers told her that her brother was dead. So Moon broke down in tears and ran towards Nightmare who was corrupted at that time, he comforted her and made her stay there. Her friends were feeling guilty for this and Moon never forgave them even if she was the kindest Princess. So, Nightmare instilled their minds with fear and tortured them physically and mentally.

When she ate 128 apples as she wanted to be like Nightmare but less evil, she fell into a coma until she was 499 yrs old, leaving Nightmare in a terrible despair as she and Sun and Dream were the only ones who cared about him and Moon loved him blindly.

She was in heaven when she was in a coma and her father, who became the Guardian of Heaven, had sent a letter to Nightmare telling him about her coma and he also gave a pendant on Moon's body which was placed in an uncovered golden glass coffin and an alarm was set on the coffin so that if anyone tried to take her coffin or her body, that person would be killed. The pendant contained Moonstone dust which was found by Solar himself and it was a holy dust and the faithful servant would wear it as it contains unlimited amount of water and Moon's blessings until she woke up. This was later given to Killer.

Moon was married later to Nightmare few years after the coma.

She and Sun gained immortality after their coma and after Sun died once.

She has a high pitch scream which can burst your ears.

She is kind and caring unlike the Nightmare Frisk you expect. She can go evil when insane.

Killer belongs to @rahafwabas

Mermaidverse belongs to @redloves

Nightmare and Dream belongs to @jokublog

Moon and others belong to me

[kwop-kilawtley]

Hi!! <3 I barely use tumblr but I stumbled upon your blog while going thru the JxB tag and I just had to say this… Rereading Twilight as an adult is so… infuriating ? I first read the books when I was 14 and even tho I was team Edward back then I still loved Jake and I felt so weird about Bella becoming a vampire? Like, story-wise, it felt so empty and unfulfilling, even to my naive 14 yr old self. Now I’m 26 and I recently reread the books and I just can’t!!! believe!!! this!!! It reminds me so much of the way I romanticised my toxic relationships/friendships as a teen because they felt intense and crazy and they hurt so bad that it was almost good? Like that’s exactly what Bella was doing throughout the entire series and it breaks my heart that this girl never healed, never learned to love herself, and is forever mentally stuck at age 18 in her perfect little world where she got everything without any consequences. Growing older and healing from my trauma made me realise that life is the greatest gift and that I want nothing more than a happy, peaceful, sunshine type of love, the love Bella could’ve had with Jake. Rereading the JxB chapters in NM and Eclipse literally hurt because this kind of ease and warmth is all I’ve ever wanted but my trauma made me think I deserve drama and intensity and pain. It’s just so messed up I can’t believe how angry I am with this stupid teen story like!!! It had so much potential but oh well… Sorry for the rant but I feel like you’d understand what I mean. Hope you have a great day :>

EVERYTHING YOU SAID EXACTLYYYYYYY. Like I actually go INSANE because of the potential and how people don’t see it this way. I’ve been team Jacob since I’m 10 but would like go back and forth to team Switzerland. But now I’m fully team Jacob like I p much only was Switzerland bc of the nostalgia of the first book. I’ve been in abusive toxic relationships and it’s legit exactly like bxe. It may seem subtle and just bc he didn’t physically hurt her and was obsessed with her doesn’t mean it’s GOOD. It’s very very empty and sends out a horrible message to people I think. Like bella just chose the need for perfection. She didn’t fix anything it was a bandaid. JACOB WAS RIGHT THEREEEEE. And they have ACTUAL chemistry. Exb are trauma bonded. I talk about this all the time on here and it will always make me so angry but we are content in our team Jacob hive mind tbh <3 canon cannot hurt us

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hi! I've been reading your snippets of the baby au and, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you: how do you think jalice vampire parents would be different of jalice human parents? Of course it would be a completely different world without all the trouble about raising a fragile little kid being killing machines and all, but I wanted to know your thoughts on it. Also, I've seen you are surprised of how much people are enjoying and asking about babyfic, but you just made Alice and Jasper...Alice and Jasper from Twilight...as parents...It's so cute and unexpected and actually good????

Ooof, that's something I've considered and listen, it's hard to determine without knowing the upbringing and background of Jasper and Alice as humans. If we convert their canon background into contemporary equivalents, it's going to be messy.

Prepare for rambling.

In Hybrid, Alice has a very much 'challenge accepted'/'hold my beer' kind of attitude to life. Whatever happens, she's willing to roll with the punches; she's very straight to the point and determined. She'll be the first one to say that she absolutely wanted an abortion, but that wasn't on the cards so she had her son and loves him. And Jasper has never felt as old or as young as when he's faced with Alice and Ollie; he's done horrific things and now has the one thing that Esme and Rose want more than anything: a child. And for him, it's a gift and a curse. He is terrified of letting Alice and Ollie down, and he has this insane responsibility all of a sudden, but he loves them both so fiercely. Plus they have a great support network - Alice's dads are super supportive and heavily involved, and the Cullens only want good things for Alice and Jasper. And Peter would fucking decimate anyone who tried to mess things up for Jasper.

Maria's more amused than anything else.

As vampire/human, they also have insane resources that would save so much stress and give them the maximum amount of time with their son. They have more money than Bezos; they can have their own home, buy whatever they need, give Ollie the best education and opportunities. Jasper doesn't sleep, so Alice is well-rested. If they need childcare whilst they go to college, or on a date, there are half a dozen family members who are right there - three of them with medical training.

But on the flip side, Jasper is so far removed from humanity because of his age - and the fact he's frozen as a Civil War-era nineteen/twenty year old, there's a significant learning curve for him. Bluey? Pokemon? Fortnite? He's totally out of his depth and has to kind of let his son teach him about being human in modern day. (Alice has a pretty frank discussion with Jasper about their stance if Ollie comes out as LGBTQ+, and is relieved to find out that vampires have significantly less hangups about that then humans, and Ollie can identify and be whomever he wants to be forever.)

And - I can't remember if this already came up - Ollie isn't immortal. He's going to live a normal human lifespan with two immortal-ish parents (listen, Alice isn't going to live forever, either, but that's a whole other thing). So he's going to be 15, 21, 30, 40, 50 etc, with parents that look 19, who can't even 'be' his parents at his graduation or his wedding or the arrival of his children. He's going to be an old man on his deathbed, clutching his mother's hand and she hasn't aged a day; she has to pose as a grandchild or a niece. So I think that Alice and Jasper are intensely aware that they have limited time with Ollie and they need to hold those precious 18 years very close.

So that's the vampire side of the scale. But on the human side, we're working with a traumatized veteran and a young woman estranged from her family, who spent time in a mental health facility and was aggressively stalked. That's a fuck ton of trauma, most likely financial insecurity and a lack of education.

I would even pitch that the pregnancy was incredibly accidental and Alice probably didn't notice until she was three months along. It might have even happened very early in the relationship, to really stack the odds against them. I think this version of Alice would focus on the sunshine and happiness of a baby, and not the reality, and Jasper would never leave her just because she's pregnant. So it's kind of recipe for disaster that turns out that it works.

They would still treasure their child, but they would have so much more stress and uncertainty. There would be a lot more bad days, and I can see them being kind of 'van life' people and telling people it's for the experience, but it's more to prevent anyone from taking Ollie from them when things aren't going well, to make both Alice and Jasper feel safe. So it's a lot more isolated. They have no immediate family support, and their day-to-day life would be so much more uncertain.

It's Jasper losing his temper because of PTSD, and then disappearing for the night because he's so ashamed of himself. It's Alice having a breakdown in their tiny van bathroom, and trying to convince herself she's safe, she's not crazy, and the stalker can't get her anymore. It's half home-schooling Ollie because they move around so much, but it's a lot of beach time and camping and just doing their best.

If we add the Cullens in as found family - whether that's as friends they meet in a community they stop in, as an extended family of one of them, or as former foster parents or something - it gets a little happier, because as much as I like to riff on the toxic possibilities of the Cullens, in Hybrid-verse they are kind and supportive and close. So this version would see a very loving family who are struggling, young people who have been dealt a very harsh lot in life and are trying to raise their son. Alice would trust the Cullens first - though wary of Carlisle (and Rose or Edward, if they were doctors) - and have no issue accepting a little bit of charity from Esme. Jasper would be insanely wary, especially when it came to compulsory reporters and Ollie, but I can see Emmett kind of drawing him out, and the education of the Cullens appealing to Jasper and him beginning to aspire for better for Ollie's future.

When it comes to day-to-day child-raising, I think Jasper would be way, way more hands-on as a parent as a vampire because of the limited time of childhood, and the fact he doesn't need to sleep or eat or work - if Ollie wants to spend a whole day building a fort, there is nothing else Jasper has to worry about. Jasper is intensely invested in making sure Ollie is smart and safe and happy, so he's constantly reading parenting books, child psychology books, any kind of material that will make him a good father. He'd be playing catch with eggs every day for months to make sure he never, ever accidentally bruises Ollie; there would be sweaters and blankets all over the house to make sure Ollie isn't uncomfortable falling asleep against his shoulder, or getting cold when he wants a snuggle. And Ollie sees his dad as a hero, as a protector, as someone who can fix any problem. Going camping, building a treehouse, playing baseball - there is nothing Jasper won't do for Ollie.

Alice would have a special bond with Ollie, having that human experience - especially since Jasper is a hopeless cook. It's Alice making cookies with Ollie and making a huge mess. It's Alice who he gives his bad Halloween candy to. It's Alice who falls asleep with him when he crawls into his parents' bed. It's Alice who wipes up tears and puts on bandaids when he skins his knees.

On the flipside, things are a bit rougher in the potential AH verse. Jasper struggles with PTSD and holds himself back a little - he can read to Ollie, play boardgames and do outdoor things like surfing and camping, but he struggles with depression and PTSD, so he lashes out emotionally and isolates himself a lot.

Alice is erratic and ultimately, frightened of outsiders. She's dreadfully overprotective of Ollie incase CPS or her father tries to take Ollie from her for not being good enough. So there are a lot of nights where Alice sits up awake to make sure Ollie is safe as he sleeps - and she would never disturb Jasper's sleep because he has so few good nights.

Money would be tight, so food wouldn't be fancy - especially since both of them would be hopeless cooks. Jasper's meds, gas, and food would be their priorities and there would be a lot of days when Alice and Jasper went without to make sure Ollie got everything he needed. Things would get significantly better when the Cullens met them and gave them the love and support of a family, but they would never be hugely affluent. I think Ollie would grow up intensely aware of his parents' issues and shortcomings but would have learned from his upbringing to treasure the positives and the happy times rather than resent the hard and ugly parts.

So, tldr, I think that human/vampire parents would actually be a happier kind of version than the all-human version in my head. But honestly, what defines Alice and Jasper as characters is their complete devotion to the other, above all else. That would extend to their child, no matter how accidental that child was; I can just see the realities of human life creating a much harsher story with their backstories.

Was that right? The kind of answer you were looking for?