#here we go. a reaction post.
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Okay first batch of episode thoughts that I donāt know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it weāre doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART ONE:
- the visceral physicality of that hug on the beach. Hot.
- The way dream Ed keeps repeating phrases but trying new pet names. Additionally: the tears in Stedeās eyes when he first hears Ed calling his name
- Swede being the new husband: fair. Makes sense. Farewell, fond thoughts of unexpected dreamboat Buttons.
- I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT EDāS UNLICENSED MIDWIFERY
- Zheng Yi Saoās reveal from soup lady to Pirate Queen. Never been another like it.
- Zheng and Auntie have a dynamic that reminds me of a much healthier and better adjusted Ed and IzzyāAuntie calls Zheng out for getting distracted by Olu but doesnāt stop her or interfere, Auntie is the harsh voice of Zhengās orders and her enforcer with the crew but isnāt cruel, and Auntie clearly respects the hell out of Zheng and supports what she built with her piracy career, and actively helps her and is respected in turn by Zheng. Take what a captain and a first mate are supposed to be like, and bring a flavor of Stedeās people-positive management style without the naive condescension. Competent and thriving. We love to see it.
- Okay but can we get a recipe of the noodle soup bc that looked genuinely so good
- Frenchie is a cat. Heās being a cat. Heās a cATā
- Fic writers who called bitchy teenage anger Lucius aimed at Stede, take a bow, youāre the MVPs. (And sweet sweet farewells to the many headcanons of Lucius living in the walls of the Revenge as a ghost, but girlie you did not need to be there and thatās for the best)
- Frenchie is so intelligent though. And sneaky.
- Been wondering too if Edās impossible bird is a reference to something existing, or something made up for the show, but keep forgetting to Google it. Keep seeing references to albatrosses, which tracks and Iām okay with letting that be the extent of it for now.
- Iām telling you, either Buttons IS the rabbit, or the whole crew is gonna THINK Buttons is the rabbit. Auntie gives him a document about transforming into animals, and in later episodes Ed is wearing Buttonsā shirt and thereās a rabbit??? Buttons has something to do with this.
- The garlic and finger crosses are deffo gonna be aimed at Ed in upcoming episodes. Can feel it. Also wondering where exactly Jim brought down the cannonball for Ed to survive itāAND ALSO HEY YALL THINK CALICO JACK SURVIVED HIS ORā
- Listen I canāt think for too long about the mermaid sequence or imma cry but SWEET LOVING GOLDFISH ;A;
- Also if they donāt make a Rick Roll joke or reference with Prince Ricky then what is the POINT of him
- Also points to us for being pretty sure he ran into Spanish Jackie; you never want to assume but when a guy shows up in this universe without a noseā¦
- Wondering about the symbolism of the pig in Edās Limbo
- Also finding grim humor in how Edās vision of Hornigold had to force the nutrition down his throat. Not at all metaphorical and layered.
- Black Pete being honest and not taking the shot. Go you, Black Pete. Not letting your ego talk yourself into irreparable trouble.
- I love Archie. I want more with Archie. Canāt wait for Jim to get good use out of having two hands for more than hyper competent murder. Hyper competent cuddling of their exceptional partners.
- Olu pronouncing eucalyptus. I want to bottle it for a rainy day. Also heās so sweet the entire time theyāre on Zhengās ship. Love him. Oh captain my captain.
- Andā¦the original rat man in the room. Izzy caring about the crew all of a sudden feels fast but tbh thereās been a time skip and Izzy is fighting an uphill battle with the consequences of his actions; Iām inclined to give the season a bit of leeway and see where it goes. Canāt get into too much detail or Iāll derail this whole thing trying to decode him and I donāt want to.
- I KNEW THE PROMO PIC OF PETE LOOKING EXCITED WAS HIM SEEING LUCIUS. I CALLED IT. IN MY MIND.
- also called that old guy in ropes was Hornigold. Nice.
- I got distracted and made another post about Ed really taking the long way around this whole suicide thing but my heart just drops every time I look at how he CHOPPED OFF THE WHEEL. THAT THING LOOKED SO SOLID. ED YOU TAKE THE AXE OUT AT THE WRONG ANGLE TOO HARD AND YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF PLENTY.
- Okay also aside for how I was NOT expecting either Edās prettiest babygirl look to be at his most unhinged, and I was NOT prepared for Ed shooting Izzy in the leg to be the thing that made Izzy lose the leg.
- Like seriously, I figured losing the leg was going to be a metaphor for Izzy cutting out the worst and most toxic bits of himself, the pieces literally rotting away and killing him with them, the toxic masculinity and the homophobia and the racism and suchābut not quite like THAT XD and itās way more a metaphor for him being forced to let go of his relationship with Blackbeard before it kills him, which is better and less comprehensive anyway.
- The way I flinched a mile when Ed shot him though. Just wasnāt expecting it.
- And the way Jim is sticking up for Izzy. The whole thing with them and Fang and FrenchieāIāll put this up from one of my many failed Izzy essays, their treatment of him has nothing to do with Izzy and everything to do with them as people. Their choice to fight for a better ship atmosphere. Because love and forgiveness have fuckall to do with how much either party DESERVES those things and everything to do with whether theyāre WILLING TO ACCEPT THEM. Love is redeeming and transformative but it takes work, babes.
- Izzy just happens to be the recipient of their reaching. And he might just be tenderized enough to let it start getting to him. But we will see.
- Edās suicidal tendencies and his will to live and hope versus his belief in his own unlovable nature has been covered so much and so much more eloquently. But it bears repeating that I knew I was going to fall in love with this show when Stede was shown to be passively suicidal, and then later Ed was too. Maybe Iāll make a fuller post about it later, but. That just means so much to me personally. And while the visceral hurt and drama of Edās journey is a step beyond meā¦I get it. I love how it was handled. Looking forward to seeing how it progresses.
- STEDE BELLYFLOPS OFF A SHIP TO GET TO ED. MY BELOVED GOLDEN RETRIEVER.
- Stedeās continual cold dismissal and refusal to engage with Izzy. Character growth. Delicious drama.
- I sincerely hope Zheng Yi Sao accomplishes her piratical takeover. And I hope some sort of truce with the Revenge can be reached, bc yeesh. What a way to get out of an admittedly not great situation with an objectively great character.
- Itās so weird bc like. Itās baseline a historical show. We know that the golden age of piracy ended and not well for the pirates. But theyāre already throwing actual hard facts and reality out the window. So it makes things like a Chinese pirate taking over the Caribbean feel way more plausible. Iām excited to see what happens with the larger scope of the show as well as the smaller emotional focus.
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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Welpā¦ Iām bawling like a babyā¦ just read Chapter 36 of Fourth Wingā¦ and I am not okay.
#Fourth Wing#Fourth Wing spoilers#Chapter 36#first read#spoilers in tags#no further spoilers please unless itās of comfort lmao so I donāt cry#read along with me cry along with me#why is it always my favoritesā¦ this is too soon post KOA#Iām dead inside nowā¦ this had bad timingā¦ itās fineā¦ Iāll write a thing laterā¦ for now excuse me while I dress in all black#Rebecca Yarros#how dare you#reading updates#reading reactions#fangirl problems#book trigger warning or maybe itās my own CPTSD bad timing#Liam Mairi#Deigh#Violet Sorrengail#Tairn#Xaden Riorson#Liam Mairi deserved more#BUT THEY WERE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CHARACTER#IVE GROWN TOO ATTATCHED TO THIS BOOK AND NOW IM SCARED#Dain we canāt be friends ever again#Violet go give them hell babe#Rebeccaā¦ weāll be talking about this later šš#this is what I get for reading at 1:00 am#nothing about these tags will age well thereās only pain here
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brennan will really be like "is anyone gonna write six of the most tragic and fucked up teenagers in the whole world and their narrative foils having violent murderous beef with each other in a devastatingly teenage way and then tell their story through a series of unreliable narrators or" and then not wait for an answer.
#fhjy#txt#okay this part isnt going into main post but. because i finished the season late i only get to glimpse discourse that happened#and im glad. because i see a lot of āfinally someone acknowledges the rat grinders are actually tragic and were manipulatedā and#my reaction is always. brennan could not have been more clear about that. that is not a groundbreaking take.#the bad kids not taking the high road and sympathizing is not in any way a dismissal of it.#what happened to the 'teens in teen media have to make bad and stupid choices' crowd man? since when were the players real feelings and#reactions to being provoked by npcs mutually exclusive with understanding the reasoning and characterization choices behind them#this is a rat grinders appreciator blog. its also not a bad kids disliker blog.#i personally love it when my narrative foils react violently and mercilessly to each other. especially when theyre all like 18.#anyway. i dont like discourse but i sometimes feel like the very things i loved about fhjy were things that other people took as flaws#and i just wanna say. we love making the violent and cathartic choices here.#does not take away from a character's compassion and in fact makes kindness all the more meaningful in contrast.
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You know, the reason why I'm sceptical over communities on Tumblr is because I think the issue is not how it was lacking in a community feature but how there seems to be a lack of a community mindframe for a lot of the userbase. There's only so much you can do when a lot of people have devolved into only ever using likes rather than actually getting in touch with others -- and there's only so much conversation you can withstand when every new addition equates to reblogging a post in full and potentially annoying your followers with "walls of text" (since, let's be real, this isn't a text-forward website)...
#i'm not counting replies because they're so very limited. i use them quite a lot myself but yeah they're way too restricted#idk i was Having Thoughts. every now and again the crazy dream of starting a wn comm on dreamwidth knocks at my door#but then i think that the fandom is pretty... dead tbh and people don't seem interested in the sort of discussions a comm might house#(not to mention how very few wn fans are on dw -- much to my disappointment!)#or the sort of overall events we could have too. this time of the year is great for gift giving for instance#have you ever looked at fandomtrees? and yet it's just silence here. we go on the wn tag here and we advertise our new fic chapter#or we post art that gets likes but very few verbal reactions all in all so there's no way of knowing what the like actually means#(i know i have serial likers among my followers but tbh we've traded a few words sometimes. i know you guys are real and not bots lol)#(and i appreciate you! i do! though it's a lot more fun when we do get to talk every now and again via dm or elsewhere :) )#and so we watch this nice thing we had just shrivel away and people go on to the next new shiny fandom i guess. eh.#(i was rereading a few of the posts i have on my#meta fandom talk i guess#tag and it inspired this melancholy post LOL i'm fine i'm fine)#not-shenunigans
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#based on the pov he takes in the episode mentioned in op's postā that's not what his motivations here are at all#especially considering he doesn't know that he unknowingly broke the first seal at this pointā which is the aspect of hell#that could be considered that he was manipulated (by omission or lack therepf of information) into doing#dean's issue here is sam's own monstrosity and the implications of it re: relationship dynamic (and how ruby is representative of it)#it's echoed over and over throughout the season. the most encapsulating aspects being#in 4.21ā āat least he dies humanāā andā ādemon bitch is a dealbreaker. you kiss her goodbyeā we can go right now.ā#and i mean even in the exerpts above dean is explicitly trying to sway sam away from the issue at hand with aspects that are important to#sam's own motivationsā rather than his own: 1) the fact that sam is able to save people and 2) sam's faith#there's also the aspect of sam's independence and why sam kept it from dean in the first place#(dean's reaction omce he does actually find out (detailed within 4.04) as well as the same reason sam kept what azazel did to him#from deanāāit's never been in the family like this.ā 'it' being inclinations of monstrosity)#i mean dean definitely considers and acknowledges the manipulative potential of ruby upon sam#but he does so in the same way that canon itself characterises demons than in terms of any personal inclination#then immediately redirects it onto sam's beliefs and motivations#but like i get it. he's your guy so you're going to give him the benefit of the doubt lol#ludere
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"makotolookinass"
the intersection of nu: carnival and free! fans that are all here because of our favorite green haired hunks (himbos?) is so funny
but it kinda makes sense given that both nu: carnival and free! are both at their core about caring about the people closest to you and prevailing internal struggles
dang , anonn, you really cut thru all the glamours of distraction
in brief contrast, i feel like a simple creature. one who was dragged into the intersection simply because i saw some dudes with Unlikely Physiques
#feesh answer#i mean... it started out that way for most of us huh?#then they heckimfk. GOT US#with the char development and lasting bonds an whatevr#it's abou t thte grioup dynamics and how they're all little freaks but they're little freaks who can rely on each other#and bring each other the Happiness#i say Unlikely Physiques because WHAT HIGHSHOOLCHOLERS HAVE BODIES LIKE THAT. WOSHOMST????#makes me think back to that thing i saw. which was probably a post on tumblr#where ppl had the same reaction and someone went ā actuallY! it's not out of the realm of possibility to have well-trained swimmers#at this age. lookin like this!! for example. look at xyz(figures and pictures of Likely Physiques under Conditions)#me squinting at makoto's back the entire time like.....i still find it difficult to believe.#i WANT to believe. but i find it difficult to do so. high schoolers the size of a car...#i think i got into a debate with a friend over Free! wives AHAHA#they were big on Rin and i was like girl i aint about that attitude . emotional constipation. i'm gonna hang out with Tall Mom#then they offered sousuke as a counter#and i repeated myself like GIRL I JUST SAID I WAS NOT ABOUT THAT EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. I AM GOING WITH THE (EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE) TALL MOM#and they went on about how makoto was insufferably boring compared to rin and sousuke#and i shrugged because we EVIDENTLY are looking for different traits in our wives. what? emotional stability is boring now??!?!#tho... makoto emotional stability is questionable. i didn't follow the series after the 1st season so i prob missed out on a lot#the mans got a yandere streak and probably other issues. but i didn't get as deep into free! as i did with nuca#so...lemme just enjoy my green swimming wife at a superficial level... ok [rin and sousuke] friend?#we shook hands in camaraderie at the end. we may wife Different Tropes but the world needs All Types#idk i guess the tropes wormed their way into my brain#i saw those droopy anime eyes with the smile and the green theme and concluded 'i am safe here'#stupid cartoon patterns crafting schema all up in my psychology
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Sorry whatās up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff
HI HELLO please buckle in
yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.
he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.
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it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.
and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.
there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance š„²
FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!
#loren talks#ethan slater#months later let's call this my actual full response/reaction lol#i think at the time this was going down at the end of 2023 i was sort of just Freaking Out like my blood was boiling lol#i was parasocially furious with both of them#ofc now i do realise i'd put him on something of a pedestal#having seen his cute posts about his then wife an former childhood sweetheart plus posts welcoming his new son#AND having watched a youtube mini-series he'd made with his then-brother-in-law. i was SO invested and then.#i was like OH. he really DESTROYED his family huh.#but ofc! every situation is nuanced. we don't know what went on behind the scenes#wrg to his relationship. or what grande's was like with her ex-husband#since everything came to light there's been articles stating that slater wants to work with his ex-wife to share custody of their child#and that he's been spotted backstage WITH his son at spamalot on broadway (his current production)#so it sugggests he's not trying to be an Absent Father#which tracks with some of his own artwork as he and nick blaemire DID write a whole musical about the strained relationship between#a father and son and i just feel like. that suggests something about his personal character. and makes me HOPE he'd want to#be a present and loving parent regardless of circumstance.#anyways.#it's simply not my business BUT. seeing his face#popping up every now and again#it does just. feel extremely weird haha#there's a part of me that's like oh but that's musical spongebob my bestie what's he doing here#as for ariana i really have never had a strong opinion of her#but i have to say hearing her songs out and about these days...... :') i could do without it
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*grits teeth*
i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i
#it makes me feel othered by an otherwise inclusive community bc how dare i think that men aren't involved in lesbianism#or how dare i think that bisexuality is a whole and valid sexuality#or how dare i think that any and all nonbinary genders are included in every single sexuality by default#or that trans women are women so no fuckin g duh theyre included in lesbianism and if your knee jerk reaction to seeing:#men cannot be lesbians is to think of trans women then you are the transphobe here#or how i dare think that trans man and transmasc aren't the exact same thing#that genderqueerdyke person is also a transadrophobia geek and theyre buddies with genderkoolaid#which like. do i HAVE to say it?#IF U IGNORE THE TRANSMISOGYNY (WHICH U SHOUDLNT) THEYRE ALSO A ZIONIST HELLOW?? WHATS NOT CLICKING WHATS NOT CLICKING#OK IM KINDA MAD ABT THAT LIKE... SORRY BUT HOW ABOUT WE DONT PLATFORM IDIOTS NO MATTER HOW GOOD THEIR RHETORIC MIGHT SOUND#BC U WANT TO BE TOTALLY INCLUSIVE AND NOT GATEKEEPY#ive BEEN around the fucking block ive BEEN on tumblr when the resident terfs here coined bi lesbian#if you scrolled back far enough in certain keywords you wouldve seen that shit in the early 2010s being discussed in their circles#to mean lesbians who are attracted to trans women#you cannot reclaim that or recoin it#yes ive done the research too#i looked at every single piece of evidence of that label existing in the past 50~ years#its just bisexual women back when lesbian spaces also included them#plus like may i also fucking ssay that bisexual also used to mean being of two sexes (transsexual/gender and/or intersex?)#this close to fully believing that the pushback against bisexual being it's own whole and valid sexuality is some kind of psy op#i sound schizophrenic well Maybe I Am#i feel like im going to end up deleting this post bc i dont want to argue with people who disagree with me because there is no getting#through to any of you#tbd.
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the romance in this game is making me bonkers, am i the only one that feels like the triggers aren't working. the scene i just got was really just
lucanis: i never wanted you to see me like that, rook
rook: (with the biggest wettest puppy dog eyes) it's okay, lucanis.... i'm here aren't i........ i Love You.
lucanis: (no reaction. goes straight into the next conversation topic)
thanks. my rook is killing herself after that one
#i complained abt this in the gc already but i have to do it here too#lucanis at the very least seemed into it on the very first coffee date#but otherwise him and davrin both have literally 0 reactions every time i flirt with them#bellara just goes 'awe :) that's cute' like seemingly oblivious im even flirting with her#neve thank god i actually got somewhere and i've got her first initial flirt pre lock in#and same with taash. at least they got flustered/bashful whenever i flirted with them#i know davrin and lucanis are meant to be slowburn but. giving them No Reaction At All sucks ass lmao#(also sorry i dont like harding so i havent flirted with her lol)#come on....the romance was meant to be the saving grace of this but it seems like that's not even going to happen#also fighting zara i was literally thinking. oh this is going to be the single naked person we see all game isn't it#i dont need to see full frontal but like. let's be real what are we all here for anyways#datv spoilers#da posting
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Rand is sooo mad that Moiraine is there it is actually so funny. Min goes āMoiraineāā and immediately heās like UGH and goes on a rant. When he finishes his paragraph Moiraine appears with a dramatic flair like sheās been waiting for the most opportune time to insert herself from out of nowhere into their conversation. She gives him fanart of himself. He tells her to burn it. She bought it with her own money days ago and has been holding on to it. He says that having the dragon banner on full display is inviting people to kill him. She has shored up the stick itās held on. She says people are going to be killing him anyway. He accuses her of sending a babysitter to manipulate him. She tells him that though he may be surprised to hear it not everything in her life revolves around him. She is a revered and respected figure to everyone else. He is seething every time she shows up. Min is sitting awkwardly next to them during their entire conversation.
#Rand: *ranting abt moiraine to min who just mentioned she was here*#Moiraine (poofing into existence): look at this fanart of you thatās everywhere.#Rand: i hate it throw it away burn it.#Moiraine: I bought this and weāre keeping it.#Rand: should we really have that up?? Are we trying to announce to the world that im here??#Moiraine: they already know??#Rand: this invites my death. are you trying to get people here to kill me.#Moiraine (shored up the pole for the banner so it stands sturdily and wont fall): ā¦theyre going to come kill you anyways#not me restating everything i said in my actual post in the tags#my belated live reaction to the end of the great hunt#wot#the wheel of time#wheel of time#the great hunt#moiraine sedai#rand alāthor#their dynamic is so funny. to me.#rambling as i do
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive ššš that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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#you all thought my vent post meant i *wasnt* going to be sappy but you were wrong >:3#i do have the self control not to semd random dms like im drunk texting or something LMAO#but i just.#you mean so much to me.#i may be slow (or nonexistent) with replies but still youre patient and share with me what you love#and i always want to see it#im always excited about it#i may be awkward in conversations but still you reach out and give me a piece of you and i cherish that#i love stumbling over my words and sending lame reaction images with you#i love laughing with you and singing with you and i think you have a beautiful laugh and a beautiful singing voice#i love reading your writing whether its fluffy and silly or indulgently angsty or bearing a piece of your soul#i am grateful for your kindness and hope you know it is appreciated#and even if we never talk im grateful youre here#im happy we exist in this space together in the spirit of art and community and kindness#or if we used to talk more or if we will talk in the future#my memory isnt good in some aspects but i Do remember people and their passions and their creations and their kindness#and so im grateful#šššššššš#OKAY GOODNIGHT#rose rambles#oh i had a sappy line about art too that i accidentally lost but i love looking at your art!!#original things or fandom things or personal things -- it makea the world more beautiful
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For someone who's so thoughtful when he speaks, Lewis really does still give some absolutely terrible quotes when he's talking to journalists...
#I do find it especially jarring considering how much shit George gets for much less at times...#And I don't feel like it's a conversation we can ever have on here because of the nuance#But actually a lot of lewis' quotes - this year especially - have been incredibly... inflammatory#And I understand that even the most thoughtful people aren't immune to speaking rashly#But some of them are still a choice#I don't think 'George's win was great but its not a win on pace like mine was' is really a quote you needed to give... even if it's true#Which honestly... I don't think he's entirely correct either#Idk I just feel like we moved on from certain elements of email gate too quickly#And this will probably just lead to me getting accused of shit by people I thought were friends again#But as much as I might read some things George says and think... oh god you're going to get flamed#I read a lot of Lewis quotes too where my reaction is... oh god why have you said that?#Idk why I find it easier to write in the tags these days? It's easier than trying to make it more coherent in the body of the post#Also this will just get 3 notes and ignored I'm sure
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aaa i dunno. more weird watercolour stuff
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/46129cd1820156973741fc2da2125963/e13bb0b0b0de9823-1e/s540x810/9829b2a2bc6e1841f2328d3e3f8e7c1a5cdf2e96.jpg)
#why is the only thing i paint monochrome faces? no idea#i didn't sketch out anything and painted this pretty fast so the face is a little odd/not how i wanted it#i've been wanting to draw him more tho so here we go#i finished this and my immediate reaction was āi wanna do the exact same thing again but Betterā so. maybe that too#i Don't know what i'm doing i just like painting#(except the part where you have to wait for it to dry between layers it's soo boring. this took like 2-3 hours and most of that was Waiting#ashers watercolour adventures (and other assorted arts)#ethoslab#i get so nervous posting fanart that's not Queen stuff idk how y'all do things around here...#block men side quest nonsense
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i've gotten so mad about the tomato scene to such an irrational level that i've actually come all the way around the other side and decided that in a vacuum removed completely from the rest of the film denethor portrayal, that i can make it good. now i know i sound crazy but i promise i haven't been replaced with a pod person just hear me out for a moment. i just think that it COULD be the image of a father who cannot bear to think about the fact that he has lost one son already and must now send the other back out onto the field because there is no other captain who could even halfway hold the line. it isn't, but it could be. i think what i really mean is that i think adding a scene in that specific location in the narrative, structured around some of the same motifs, could add a lot to the denethor despair arc (that doesn't even exist in the film, but that is neither here nor there).
think of it as a precursor to "i have sent my son out unthanked unblessed onto the field of battle and now here he lies with poison in his veins." like it acts kind of as a midpoint between point A, them parting with harsh words/"then faramir's restraint gave way"/faramir forcing denethor into ordering him to his very possible doom and denethor not having any other choice but to do it, and point C, when faramir returns wounded/dying and he completely crumbles. where he is perhaps regretting the harshness of his words, regretting the things he has done, but in this moment he cannot allow himself to feel any of that regret at all because he has done what he needed to and that was the only choice he possible could have made, as the steward, and he has ever been only the steward with his sons. he sits here with his bread and cheese (and, fine, tomatoes) and eats because it is what he is meant to do. he is the lord of gondor; he is the one person who is indispensable to gondor (and his son(s), no matter how harsh it is, are not) and it is his duty to go on while they fight and so what else can he do but. have the afternoon meal.
and pippin is here, too, and he asks him for a song. please make it so that i do not need to think about the thing i have just done. and pippin sings edge of night, because pippin loves denethor, too, and he wants him to realize that faramir also loves him, and would not do this if he didn't love him, at least as gondor, if not as his father. he doesn't let him not think about it, but perhaps it is a plea for him to recognize the sacrifice faramir is making, and to reconcile with him, if he still can. and it could also be an honouring of his despair. that he wishes things could be different, but if they are not, at least pippin will sing of it, so that it can be remembered. he understood poor denethor a bit better or something.
and as he sings it's interspersed with scenes, rather than faramir riding towards certain doom and sacrifice, of him fighting, and winning, until he no longer can. home is behind, the world ahead - him at the rearguard of the retreating company, minas tirith so far away, fighting like hell to see at least some of his men all the way home. and there are many paths to tread - denethor, eating, but we can tell the food is the very last thing on his mind, we can tell all his mind is bent towards the retreat, that if he could carry faramir through this himself he could. through shadow, to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight - faramir turning his horse to ride back towards the nazgul even as we see the rest of the company scatter, until he faces at last a foe he cannot surmount. mist and shadow, cloud and shade - and we see that maybe denethor knows somewhere in himself what his son faces; it is the fortitude of his mind, after all, and his mastery of his horse, and the blood of numenor, that let him even think of challenging the nazgul. all shall fade - and the black breath takes him at last. all shall fade.
i think i want it to be able to be read as a condemnation of leading from the rear/sacrificing your own son for a battle you would not fight/even of just being unwilling to confront the reality of the consequences of your decisions. the very real consequences of valuing duty over love. to act as a setup for when he himself has that realization, and the way in which it breaks him. without being a complete villainization of the choices he made. this all is under the assumption of literally everything else going along with book canon denethor and faramir and inserting this into all of that. What If It Were In Character.
#.txt#god. ok this got so long. sorry. Here Is The Post#listen. i KNOW IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE. BUT#i was just thinking about it. and i was like what. if it WAS good / it is good storytelling its just also so contrary to the point of Him.#what if it were good AND in character. i think is what i mean to say. gonna go track down the Society If Denethor Were In Character meme#also the pathos of that scene is actually truly undeniable. it makes me so mad BECAUSE its so good. for a long time it was really close to#my heart. and if Well Everything Else Were Different..we couldve had it all.mp4#its also a disproportionate reaction to the disproportionate level to which the scene is embedded in The Popular Interpretation.#again if i never see another tomato joke in my LIFE. in my God Given Life.#denethorposting
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