#heavy trauma

[skullgrind]

HEAVY TRAUMA 70 (SIMPLY SCRAMBLING)

New mix available tomorrow 8PM EST. YT says you gotta be 18+ I guess

[fexjam]

babies

[whumpypepsigal]

Territory (2024) s01e06: “You’re a tough bastard, aren’t you?”

[bl00dfroma-fairy]

[zeffdakilla]

nudges

[vintage-tigre]

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Let’s talk about Nat’s makeup and how it represents her mental state and character development✨

Juliette Lewis said in an interview that Natalie’s signature thick black eyeliner is her “war paint.” I absolutely love this quote because it is a perfect way to describe the way Natalie uses her physical appearance to guard herself. Natalie’s eyeliner and fashion sense serve as a physical representation of the abrasive walls she puts up to hide the softness and vulnerability underneath.

The Pilot episode script introduces Natalie’s character with this descriptor:

This line makes it clear right off the bat that Nat’s makeup is a front she puts on; a mask. While most of her classmates may put on makeup to attract others, it’s clear that Nat’s makeup is meant to push people away. That dark, smudged eyeliner paired with the safety pin and bullet necklaces and the thick leather jackets are all screaming “I’m intimidating, stay away from me.”

But, unlike her appearance suggests, Nat is actually one of the softest and most compassionate characters on the show. Her trauma both with her father and out in the wilderness have shown her that she is a dangerous person, and that she needs to remain guarded and walled off from others in order to avoid hurting them. Her makeup hides her softness both for her own protection and the protection of those around her.

We see that Nat puts makeup on like armor. Before Doomcoming, she’s seen putting on black eyeshadow in the mirror right as Travis walks by, preparing to deal with all of the insecure feelings she still has around their breakup. In the Wilderness, Nat is pretty much never seen without makeup smudged around her eyes, despite the difficult circumstances. Even when she’s carrying Jackie’s body back to the plane you can see she’s got some eyeliner on. In the adult timeline after Travis’s death, Nat is seen putting on probably the heaviest makeup we’ve ever seen her in. Immediately after she puts this makeup on she texts her drug dealer with the intention to relapse. All of this shows that Nat’s makeup is her defense, which is why she goes to such great lengths to put it on even when she’s stranded out in the middle of nowhere.

It seems that the heavier Nat’s makeup is in a given scene, the more guarded, vulnerable, and/or threatened she feels.

Which is why it is so significant when Nat stops wearing heavy makeup after spending time at Lottie’s compound. When Nat first arrives, we see her clinging to her old forms of protection. She’s given some (purple) clothes to change into, but she rejects them in favor of staying in her black leather pants.

She keeps the thick eyeliner, too. That is, until she goes on her little adventure with Lisa to Lisa’s childhood home. After Nat processes her trauma around feeling like she is poison to the people she loves and has that great talk with Lisa in the bar, Nat notably changes her clothes and lightens up her makeup the next day. She is seen in a purple and navy sweater, but she still keeps her black leather pants on and her eyeliner is still there, albeit a little bit lighter, showing that she is starting to change almost in spite of herself.

Then, directly after the hypnosis scene with Lottie in which Nat finally begins to come to terms with and process her guilt, we see her in a purple dress and cozy Birkenstocks with socks. The thick eyeliner is gone and so is her tendency to push people away, as she readily embraces all of the other survivors as they arrive at the compound (even Misty). This is heartbreakingly the last outfit we ever see Nat in, but it shows the audience how much she has changed and forgiven herself in her final days.

I’ll leave you guys with this beautiful quote about Nat’s transformation:

“I wanted to show that Natalie became her soft self. I don't know how long that would have remained comfortable for her, but she liked it. She liked being clean. She liked being comfortable. She relinquished her eyeliner, which was her war paint.”

-Juliette Lewis for TheWrap Magazine

[chief-ravenfeather]

Hehe Sniper has fleas

Also just wanted to draw my Blu boys and a ship :3

[tangledinink]

absolutely obsessed with gemini Donnie's piercings! They suit him so much! and i bet theyre fun to draw too!

you also mentioned tattoos! what kind do you think he would get? like what kind of designs and where?

Ah thank you! ; w ; I just think they're fun <;3 he deserves piercings... And yeee he has quite a few tattoos as well that he builds up over the years--

both his arms host meticulously planned, carefully considered, personal and meaningful full-sleeve pieces that were done professionally by sorrelshine's older sister, leafwhistle (she's the one who pierced donnie's eyebrow in that comic!)

his legs are where everything else goes. there are dozens of different pieces patchworked all over-- some done by leafwhistle, some by other artists, some by sorrelshine (who is not a professional, let it be known, but knows how to use a tattoo gun!), some even done by himself. he let leo do one once. mikey has done several. there's everything from stick-and-poke stars to little grayscale robots to brightly colored flowers down here, and he'll shove new things wherever they'll fit whenever he feels the urge.

[ gemini au ]

[skullgrind]

HEAVY TRAUMA 74 (BEING HUMAN BEING)

Monday 1/27 8PM EST we learn to be HUMAN?

[gomzdrawfr]

"Don't cry."

Simon said this whenever he knew you were about to cry, eyes glossy and watery, lips trembling.

trigger warnings: angst, childhood abuse (referenced + mentioned), canon-typical violence (referenced)

notes: this is an x reader fic, also apologies for the grammar and errors if any

read more to continue this short drabble

“Don’t cry.”

His voice was hollow, rough, forced out before the words had a chance to settle.

Simon said this whenever he knew you were about to cry, eyes glossy and watery, lips trembling.

It wasn’t gentle, nor a plea. It wasn’t meant for comfort or to keep you from falling apart. It was rough, low, and scratched at your ears in a way that made it hard to bear.

It felt more like an order, one you weren’t sure was meant for you or for himself.

“Just… don’t.” He repeated, the words more for himself than for you. Something swirled in his eyes behind the mask, a faint glint catching the light, like shattered glass.

“Simon,” you whispered, voice cracking, but he cut you off with a sharp edge, ending the conversation before it even began.

You thought it was because of the life he led—the danger and discipline that flowed through his blood. You thought he was telling you not to cry because he needed you to be strong. After all, he was a soldier—a man who had seen more violence, death, and despair than you could ever imagine. You assumed he couldn’t stand to see weakness, the vulnerability that came with it.

But there was more.

There was always more with him.

You didn’t know what those words really meant to him, how deep they ran, how they had been carved into his very bones, how they play on repeat in his head like a broken cassette tape on those colder nights.

You didn’t know that those two words were all he had ever heard growing up, the only comfort he could muster when his mum sobbed after another bad night, when Tommy curled up in the corner of the kitchen, scared and bruised, whispering into the dark.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

He had felt helpless as a boy, kneeling before his family, wanting more than anything to do something—anything—but lacking the strength or power to act. He couldn’t make the pain go away. He couldn’t make the tears disappear.

Hearing those heart-wrenching sobs, those sniffles, those whimpers—it made him feel like that little boy again: lost, powerless, useless.

But the tears always came, and they never fixed anything. Crying didn’t make the bruises disappear. It didn’t quiet the screams. It didn’t make the shouting stop. All it did was twist his stomach inside out, wring his heart until he didn’t even recognize it anymore, and made his breathing all the more suffocating, like he was drowning in someone else’s grief.

It made him feel small.

Seeing those same tears in your eyes brought him back to that place. And he didn’t know how to deal with it. How to make it better.

He hated it. He hated feeling like that small boy again, hopeless, like he was failing all over.

Because Simon loves you, he truly does, more than himself, and yet he can’t bring himself to face you in these moments. 

Turning his back away from you, his head dipped lower, as if he were willing himself out of the memory that bubbled up, out of the pain that no amount of time or distance could dull.

Tears didn’t fix the past. They didn’t heal the scars that had been left on his soul.

“Simon-”

“Don’t cry… please.”

When he turned away, when he avoided your tears, when he grew distant whenever you broke down in front of him—it wasn’t because he didn’t care.

He just didn’t know how to handle it.

[srslylini]

I have some thoughts about the idea of forgiveness and moving on we see in media and fans. The thoughts mostly come from being in therapy and spending time with people who specialize in those fields and helped me come to terms with my own pain.

This can very well be taken in general but is mostly about Vi.

Right. So.

Vi is a genuinely interesting character, who has gone through hell and back to put it lightly. She lives in conditions in the undercity that has people who don't live in them wear masks to handle them. She grew up and saw her parents die, which means she had to step up. Vander did adopt her, her sister, Mylo and Claggor but Vander still put a lot of responsibilities on Vi. She was told she cannot be selfish when people look up to her.

Then, of course, the entire act 1 of season 1 happens, which in itself is already very much and not something that should have ever happened to anyone, let alone a kid/teenager. She then, on TOP of all of this, got thrown into Stillwater after seeing her entire family die (and presumed Powder also as dead, although she continued to hope), where she was canonically beaten, starved, put into isolation and... the rest is up to interpretation because I guess the writers did not care. But that interpretation is not a good one.

What I am trying to say with all of this is that Vi has been put through so much by the system and by people (Enforcers get a special mention here) all around her.

This gets me to the point. I see a lot of people, the writers themself even, talk about how Vi needs to (or already did) forgive and move on. And I just wonder where this idea comes from?

In all my time in therapy, no matter what and who I talked about, you know what I have never heard? That I need to forgive.

What I heard instead was rather close to this:

"What happened was not your fault. It happened and can't be changed. But there is still something you can do, because you stand here now. You can imagine yourself back then and guide yourself. Hold yourself and tell the younger version of you that what happened isn't ever going to be fine but that you are still here and that you need to be kind to yourself." She told me "take the hand of your younger version and walk her through it because in the end it will have always happened but you can choose to help yourself"

There is a lot more she told me, but that is between her and me. What I am trying to say with this is that not once did I ever get told that I need to forgive the people involved. I am also not trying to say that doing this works for everyone, because health does not work this way. The point I am making is that I find it incredibly weird that we came to the point of saying that the only way to let go is to forgive, when that could not be further from the truth.

I would say understanding it happened and being kind to yourself does a lot more than trying to forgive people who hurt you so much that it ends in you being broken to what seems beyond repair (it isn't I have learned that much, lol). That's what my therapist taught me.

Which brings me back to Vi and why I find the notion of "she needs to forgive and move on to get better" or the writers writing "she forgave and moved on" so weird.

What happened to her is not something that can be forgiven. And... that is okay. Or it should be okay. But for some reason it isn't?

I mean if you can and want to forgive that is for you to do but to say that it is a (or even THE) way to move on does not sit right with me. At all.

[yashley]

Did she keep you trapped?

[zeffdakilla]

YEAH

[vole-mon-amour]

x

[yarhar-gargar]

medic talking about her test subjects exes teammates

WATCH OUT FOR CARTOON GORE AND SUGGESTIVE CONTENT UNDER THE CUT !!