#heartless aplatonic

[neptune-scythe]

anyone who responds to "hey I don't like that/that made me uncomfortable/whatever else boundary" with "that's just how I express love/it was out of love just get over it" is getting WHACKED

love isn't some bandaid that you can slap onto any situation to magically fix it, and intention doesn't even matter

actions do in fact have consequences and constantly upsetting and harming another person in the name of "love" is going to have the exact same effect as it would if you had neutral or negative intentions, because ultimately you're still hurting that person regardless of if you "meant to" or not

and calling something "love" doesn't make it comfortable or okay or enjoyable for the person on the receiving end

it just makes the person doing it feel better about themselves and that's just manipulation and abuse

thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[allegoriesandepithets]

Large Pixel Size Heartless A- Flags

[PT: Large Pixel Size Heartless A- Flags]

Heartless Ace ~ Heartless Aro

Heartless Apl ~ Heartless Aqp

Heartless Analt ~ Heartless Asen ~ Heartless Anae

Definition: One who is a- [attraction type], and feels separated from any or all forms of love. One may wish to reclaim the stereotype of being a “heartless a-spec”, or just otherwise feel connected to being ‘heartless’.

Credit to @ryanyflags for the atertiary flags. All I did was change the aqp to a gradient.

All flags are 3000x2000 pixels.

@tertiary-attraction-archive @orientation-archive @radiomogai @liom-archive @imoga-pride

[ijustwannamakeemojis]

[ID: Six pixel hearts of various flags in order being Neutral Aro, Alt A-Aesthetic, Affectionaro, two loveless Aplatonic flags and Heartless Aplatonic. End ID]

[anti-endo-aspec-space]

our loveless and heartless identities are very important. we have a lot of labels, but some of them are like... key things people need to know abt us to understand our perspective. and loveless and heartless labels are key things for us.

we don't experience love. we didn't understand what love is until a couple of months ago. we used love as a placeholder for good feelings, but it's supposedly not usually used like this.

it was insightful to understand. we couldn't understand what's our problem was. we felt some difference in our relationships, in our feelings, but we couldn't get it. so we just thought we're bad, wrong, or broken. but we're not. we just don't experience thing that lots of other individuals experience. and it makes our relationships different. it makes out feelings different.

(we know no one has to feel same way and no one has to excuse for their way of feeling and no one feels wrong way etc. but it's our problem. we need in explanations. we need in reasons. and we struggle with self-acceptance. we work on it).

also, we're pretty non-emotional overall. we don't feel much. like. we have some emotions, but they're not so strong. they're more... distant? foggy? superficial? idk. and we relate with heartless label not only in aspec way but in an emotional way too. (we know it isn't a part of the original definition, but originally heartless was meant to reclaim the dehumanization of aros, and people with low emotions are also often dehumanized. we find some similarities there. so we think for us this label may have additional connotations without losing the original vibe).

we don't understand a lot of social things. often we think we understand, but it comes out that we haven't understood it. and it impacted our aspec experience. because we supposed a lot of relationships things are... pretending? not in a fake way but in a ritual way? and we have done a lot of things in this way.

but we don't wanna live like this forever. doing things that we don't actually want or actually enjoy just because of social norms and social rituals. and coming to terms as loveless and heartless helped us a lot.

[yourlocalgaymafia]

If you claim to be an aromantic ally but you deliberately don’t support loveless, heartless or aplatonic aros, then I hate to break it to you but you are not an ally.

And this is coming from an aromantic who happens to experience other forms of love quite strongly. But the moment someone tries to say something along the lines of “love is what makes us human” I am willing to flip tables.

[vivarthur]

Happy pride month to unconventional connections, friendships or relationships. Shoutout to fwbs and qprs and unlabeled relationships shoutout to friendships or acquaintances shoutout to that one duo who borders platonic and romantic/sexual or all of the in-betweeens. Shoutout to all those who decide not to label things and shoutout to lovequeers and those who dont give a fuck :)

[lovelessrage]

Loveless people are not a tragedy. Loveless people are not something to be pitied. You don't need to understand us, since a lot of loving people don't or won't exactly get it, but talking about us as if we're necessarily living a sadder life is just hurtful. Some loveless people do struggle with their identity, but being loveless in itself is not tragic. It is a way to live and a way to feel. Lovelessness is an identity. It's a way of viewing the world. Don't mourn for us when you don't know what it is to be us, and please be respectful of the loveless people around you.

[aspec-mafia-official]

First aspec pride poll of the month!

(for poll purposes pick the label you identify with most)

Sorry if the aspec abbreviations on some are weird. I had to make some up.

Happy pride month to my fellow aspecs! Remember that your attraction/lack of attraction is just as valid as anyone else!

-dread

As always reblog to spread <3

[chaotic-carnifex]

Loveless aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Aplatonic aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Afamilial aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Heartless aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Their perspectives are important and valuable and their voices deserve to be heard

Aromantic spaces must account for them and their safety

A space that is not safe for loveless, aplatonic, afamilial and heartless aros is not a safe space for aromantics

This is not up for debate

[neopronouns]

image id: nine square images. each one has two flags in the background, with the amatopunk flag on the right side. in order, the flag on the left side of each image is aplatonic, heartless aro, afamilial, nonaesthetic, loveless aro, asensual, aqueerplatonic, aemotional, and atertiary.

each image has all-caps white text with a thin black outline over it. in order, they read: 'aplatonics belong in amatopunk', 'heartless aros belong in amatopunk', 'afamilials belong in amatopunk', 'nonaesthetics belong in amatopunk', 'loveless aros belong in amatopunk', 'asensuals belong in amatopunk', 'aqueerplatonics belong in amatopunk', 'aemotionals belong in amatopunk', and 'atertiaries belong in amatopunk'. end id.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

some amatopunk + aspec identities affirmation edits for anon to remind folks that your amatopunk posts should include more than just aros and aces!

dni link

[neptune-scythe]

shout-out to the heartless, loveless, and repulsed a-specs today

stay strong speak your shit be as annoying as the allos

[arology]

i think qprs are cool :) waverships are cool. People who call each other partner / girlfriend / arofriend / etc but don’t call it being “ in a relationship “ or dating are cool. People who aren’t blood-related and who call each other family because of the comfort they find in each other. People who don’t want to label their relationship in any way no matter what it looks like from the outside or feels like from the inside. People who don’t call the people in their friendships “ friends.” People who mix and match relationship words to describe each other and their relationship. People who use more personal , creative terms to describe friends and partners.

Because thats what a relationship is : how people relate to each other.

[fallenrain40]

gosh, figuring out i am aplspec (greyplatonic) and loveless is so amazing honestly, cause it helps me finally understand why certain phrases always bothered me so much. specfically, when aroaces would defensively say "I'm not loveless!" or "I'm not heartless!" like, yeah I get why they say those things. you wouldn't want to be seen as loveless or heartless if you aren't, especially not in a world where those things are often seen as literal insults. but yet, it still bothered me. why did they feel the need to emphasize so much that they "can still feel SOME things!!" ? why would it be an issue if they DIDN'T feel those things? why would it be an issue if they were loveless or heartless? just becuase you don't feel love for someone does NOT automatically mean you feel hatred for them, right? it doesn't even mean you dislike them. you can reject someone simply becuase you don't see them romantically, but you can still like them. why is it suddenly different when it comes to all feelings? sure, i don't feel much for others, but that doesn't mean i want harm to come upon them! why would i? i just don't feel anything. and, I do still CARE about people in GENERAL, like yeah i don't want people to get hurt because. that is wrong? but that doesn't mean i LOVE them. i really don't get how that's so difficult to understand. and there's a lot of other feelings besides love. there's respect, admiration, and care. there's so much... why is the focus always placed on love? and just moving your focus on love down a notch from romantic to platonic, isn't helping anything. i mean yeah, platonic love is pretty cool, friendships are cool, but we don't need to act like it's the sole meaning of life. you are still implying you need to love someone to live. you are still implying that everyone feels some form of love, which is so not true. srry this got kind of rambly haha. tbh i just think it's super cool that aplatonic and loveless are actual words and are things that other people can actually understand and relate to. i'm just like... there's other people who feel like i do?? really?? i always expected that if i told others "i don't really... feel much for other people. i dont care about them the way i think i'm supposed to." that i'd be called a bad person. it's just really really cool that there are accpeting people out there that WONT call be a bad person for this aspect of myself, and WONT try to make me change it (cause like. i cant change it. i cant make myself feel a feeling that i DONT HAVE). i just wish that the majority were more accepting of people like us.

[aaa-battery-not-rechargeable]

fellow aro +/or apl folks: chime in.

when someone says they love you in a romantic way, does it prick your skin in thousands of needle pokes like the world is an iron maiden? especially when they're supposed to be a friend and you find out they have less than platonic intentions towards you, even if they don't intend to act on their feelings, it suddenly feels unsafe? I've seen the post that describes it as a betrayal to be loved that way when you thought someone was safe, and i agree.

like does it physically hurt you? does it scream danger and betrayal and make you afraid? as bad as it sounds I feel... disgusted. the fact that someone could think of me that way. it's not flattering or good, it hurts.

I get a physical reaction in my body, it's the worst kind of phantom burn I've ever felt. anyone else?

[shiutsu]

CW:Gore

Allopls try not to assume every single aro is friendship obsessed maniac. Or that everyone has a best friend. No,no we fucking don't. Not everyone has someone that's willing to stay or just put them as a 1st choice.

Or any type of love. It doesn't matter. Some of us are aplatonic/afamiliar/loveless/etc.

Not everyone wants to/has spend their life with someone. No matter if they have the chance or not (some of us are unlikeable & don't have the nerves to bother w ppl when we know they're not gonna like us anyways no matter how we'll try or we just had enough of the treatment we received).

I said this like 400 times already but not everyone feels love & has the ppl 4 it.

This is like every post in the aro hashtag whenever I open the feed,it makes me mad. If I could block this shit,I would,but considering ppl don't tag their posts smth like alloplatonic or platonic favorable, I'd have to block the entire hashtag,which is no.

It pisses me off. & its not just these sentences,it can be anything w love or partnerships.

btw if you're a normal allopl that doesn't say this shit or doesn't think this,this isn't targeted towards you. This isn't supposed to offend anyone,but the amount of shit I see pisses me off, especially the platonic stuff, considering that friendships was smth that ruined my life & make me overthink.

[anti-endo-aspec-space]

we don't like label relationships. labels feel like demand. labels feel like restriction. we just wanna be unlabeled close with some specific people. labels feel like requirement of feelings which we don't have and can't have. we like when relationships are unlabeled. it feels like freedom. we feel less pressure to do certain things (we feel some pressure always when interacting because fear of being perceived and trauma and learned things). we feel more chill when don't have to label relationships.