#health problem dream
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#girl interrupted#bpd#femcel#borderline personality disorder#bpd girl#coquette#female manipulator#manic pixie dream girl#lana del rey#female rage#im slowly going insane#female insanity#im going insane#girl hysteria#female hysteria#feminine hysteria#borderline personality problems#bpd blog#mental health relapse#im not mentally stable#mentally unhinged#mental ill health
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#girlhood#im just a girl#girlblogging#idk how to tag this#just girls being girls#just girly posts#just girly things#just girly thoughts#this is what makes us girls#girl problems#girly stuff#girl interrupted#girl blog#girl blogger#girlcore#hell is a teenage girl#girly things#girlblogger#dream#life#me core#girl core#me when#me and myself#mental health#just daydreaming#i just want to be thin#live laugh girlblog#dream life#girl hood
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regret it every day :(
#girl blog#girl blogging#girl problems#i’m just a girl#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#lana del ray#lizzy grant#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#this is what makes us girls#the virgin suicides#black swan#girl interrupted#girl interupted syndrome#manic pixie dream girl#female manipulator#female rage#female hysteria#waifspo#waif#coquette aesthetic#coquette#coquettecore#lux lisbon#mental health
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I got a problem guys, every girl I see whether online or real life and I like them very much I literally try to become them like I copy everything about them and heavily stalk them on a daily basis.
I need help.
Everything about me is a piece of someone else.
I think Tumblr made it worse cause some of my moots, I literally wanna be y'all for real.
#ineedhelp#thisisinsane#female hysteria#girlblogging#female manipulator#female rage#manic pixie dream girl#coquette#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#lana del rey#mental illness#actually mentally ill#mental health#just girls being girls#girl problems#girly stuff#cinnamon girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl interrupted syndrome#girl hysteria#divine feminine#female experience
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Getting pregnant is a curse from having sex
Having your period is a curse from not getting pregnant
Being a woman is painful
Why would anyone ever want this
#vent#bpd mood#bpd problems#actually bpd#bpd splitting#depressing shit#bpd stuff#girl interupted syndrome#just a girlblog#girly blog#im just a girl#girly stuff#manic pixie dream girl#girlcore#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl blogger#girlbloger#girlblogging#girly girl#girlhood#september10th2024#6:42am#just girlboss things#period#womanhood#womenshealth#mental health#pmdd#bipolor#bulim14
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Hey it's Monday! Let's try that
Week-In-Review?
I am definitely doing these more as an adulting accountability post I think, but regardless!
Reading:
Finished The Hollow Places, highly recommended, deeply disturbing and yet ultimately wonderfully comforting/validating/humane. Can't quite think of the word I want? But it makes you glad to be a People on This World of Ours! (If also very glad that the specific adventures in the book are fiction and you do not have to worry about them spreading to anyone else 😅)
Am currently re-reading a series I recalled from when I was, idk, 10 or something, called The Time Keeper which holds up pretty well. I'm enjoying them... they're VERY 80s-SFF-Juvenile Fiction, though, if anyone is familiar with that niche of a sub-genre. 😄
My mother and I had a weird conversation awhile back: do you remember those books with the time travel and the stepping stones when I was a kid? and did eventually figure out the series with only that! Then she found the ebooks re-issued by the author and got them for me. 🎉
Playing:
Murder by Numbers, which is a mystery VN plus a slew of those pictogram puzzle things, and I am enjoying it a lot. Though I got a low(er) score on the third case and am not sure what I missed, so it may be a bit before I go back to finish it... It goes gloriously hard with its 90s aesthetic/setting too, so that's fun.
Adulting:
I have not been making my bed or doing anything beyond the bare minimum of laundry, but the dishes are being held in check and I've been taking my meds and no one missed an appointment or starved, so that's pretty much a win, I think?
Creating:
I did work on the Current Cross Stitch, but it's a bit of a slog atm (and I think I screwed up a color) so that didn't last long...
No writing either.
Instead I made a Crochet Kit Piggie!
She's a little crooked, but I'm pleased by my first attempt. 💕 Next I'm trying an Elephant and they'll go sit on the picture book shelf with Thing 2's old Elephant & Piggie Books, since I still remember those pretty fondly myself.
And that's about it? We got a bit of snow today, which was nice, but otherwise it's been the same old around here.
What have you been up to, my dears & darlings?
#jilly spam#week in review#mental health post#the hollow places#t. kingfisher#the time keeper#child of tomorrow#when dreamers cease to dream#barbara bartholomew#jilly reads#jilly has a gaming problem#murder by numbers#I think I had a crafting tag and yet?#elephant & piggie#mo willems#faves forever tbqh
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In a month and a half I have read through the Temeraire series and the entire Laurence/Tharkay tag on AO3 so now I am just sitting here like
#temeraire#it's the one thing getting covid again was good for#like sure i'll probably end up with even more long term health problems but#i have done nothing but lay on my couch for all of november and december#and dream about dragon captains and the spies who love them
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drawing the first two ocs i ever cared about, ft the one who i made to vent and inspired my username, and the one i accidentally ended up in the exact situation of. its been like 10 years since i came up with them but i still think about these two. might draw gijinkas of them or redesign them or something
#originally these two were conceived as sisters#eventually i made them friends#but yeah thats why they sort of have similar color schemes its because they were related at one point#i tried to do this as close to their original designs as possible but i didnt feel like looking for my old art of them#i think i lost most of the files#anyways the original story i had for these two was kind of based on the mental health crisis i was having at the time#in my earlier drafts of it i focused on dreams mental health problems and her suicidal ideation with sapph trying to help her through it#but over time i ended up thinking of it more from sapphs point of view#with her constantly bending over backward for dream to try and help and how she was constantly worried sick for dream to the point of-#-not being able to function normally#i put more of myself into her than i did into dream eventually lol#and then a couple years later i ended up in sapphs exact position#i havent really touched them specifically since then#though i have thought about that oc universe outside of them#doodles#dream (oc)#sapph (oc)#btw despite her name being sapph shes not gay shes aroace#the label is new but whenever i thought about her i always imagined her not being interested in romance at all#sapph is just short for her original name (sapphire)
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#mental health#mental heath support#mental illness#mental problems#mental wellbeing#mentalwellness#stress#gratitude#happiness#life#wellness#health and wellness#health tips#healthylifestyle#health & fitness#healthcare#anxiety#depression#i need sleep#rest#dreams#sleeping#resting#calm#daily calm#calmness#peaceful#relaxing#calm down#keep calm
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its been 10yrs. It’s not getting better…
#girl interrupted#bpd#borderline personality disorder#bpd girl#femcel#coquette#female manipulator#manic pixie dream girl#lana del rey#female rage#bpd blog#borderline personality problems#living with borderline#borderline personality traits#being borderline#bpd stuff#im not mentally stable#mentally unhinged#mental ill health#actually mentally ill
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extremely normal dreams i’m having
#yes let me have a dream about having a rly bad health problem but also hey gamestop! roller coaster! what?#rzr speaks
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i figured out the funniest possible deathspeaker timeline. timeline where dara is the same age as and grew up with joe and lily. dara starts transitioning at the age of 8 years old after she admits her massive crush on joe and he tells her he's not really interested in boys which makes her realize she isn't one actually. deciding to be a girl does not change joe's mind because he is 8 and so so demiromantic and doesn't know it yet, but lily sure is interested. cut to 10 years later lily and dara have been on again off again for 10 years with drama the likes of which you've never seen because they can't fucking stand each other. joe is also there realizing he needs better friends
#this started as me going aww baby joe and dara would be cute#and then i realized this would be a fucking nightmare scenario for all of them#the good news tho is this isn't a problem that can be solved by repression so joe actually does not have obscene mental health issues#he just has normal ones. he gets a bachelors degree and goes to work at an art museum and has friends#best timeline for joe he actually gets to live his dreams and he's just kinda normal#horrible fucking timeline for the friend group none of them are still talking to each other past their mid 20s#except for april and joe they hang out#after they meet april lily tries to use her as like a rebound thing to make dara jealous and april decides to get the hell out of there asa#but joe was chill and clearly was also sick of their shit so they get to be besties still ASILDUHASLIDUHASD#the domino effect on this one is wild. yeah lily and dara really fucking shouldn't know each other as teens#thank god they met in canon after lily chilled out and stopped being a drama magnet#also because dara wasn't fuckin alive in 1950 none of this shit with theron happens so absolutely none of the main plot carries over#it's just this stupid shitty soap opera they're living in#anyways i was gonna doodle this but i got 5 hours of sleep and i'm too fuckin tired
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I know undiagnosed depression is a hell of a thing but it sucks so bad to be on the end of someone telling you that they feel that they can't ever do anything right for you, and for it to be your own ma to boot
#this sucks major ass#i just wanna be stresss free for 5 minutes#i dont know how to help her anymore#or if I've been some secret part of the problem all along#maybe those dreams where her ex husband told me i couldnt help her with shit were true huh ahahhahas#rant //)#vent //)#mental health//
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Fuck all the “tricking the genie into giving me more wishes” I know what I want
1. Full untraceable access into the top 10% of rich peoples bank accounts
2. A pocket dimension I can spawn anywhere as anything (Mary Poppin’s style purse, little house, mansion, etc.)
3. On-command foolproof Time Manipulation.
Boom done
#would solve all my problems in my personal life#I would then run for president#use my time Manipulation to repeat the election till I win#and then use the time Manipulation to get enough time to come up with good lasting ways to fix all the issues america is causing#and then because I’m the president I’d be rich anyways#so I wouldn’t need the extra money#and I would donate my own money to things like health care and relief aid around the world#I don���t think I have a savior complex I think I’m just pissed#but anyways#and then I would travel but I would still get to keep all my stuff with me through my pocket dimension#because I am attached to my material things#it would also be 1000000000x easier to move#and I could keep a pet in there#like a bird#and I would just open it in a room or something every morning#to take care of said pet#it’s nice to dream
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“I’m gonna take the day off and sleep in because my mental health is a hot mess”
*sleeps in*
...
...
*nightmares*
*nightmares*
*nightmares*
*nightmares*
*nightmares*
*NIGHTMARES*
*NIGHTMARES*
*NIGHTMARES*
*N I G H T M A R E S*
*N I G H T M A R E S*
“This has not been a healing day off and I should have gone to the office”
#ptsd#mental health#mental illness#time off#workplace#cptsd#abuse#trauma#dreams#bad dreams#rem sleep#nightmares#ptsd nightmares#depression#anxiety#child abuse#sleep problems#not to mention the shame i felt when i woke up super late#panic#like someone was gonna go out of their way to punish me for it#klonopin it is#and coffee#what will happen with this combination#so far it seems to be bringing me back to a healthy baseline#r u normal#unrelatable content
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I made a few vlogs for my channel having a breakdown (tw for religion and religious trauma, bigotry, sexism, cis sexism, suicidal thoughts, etc)
Last night’s video is about being perceived wrong:
youtube
Todays video is about my backstory and lore:
#analee rose valentine#girl vlogging#female anguish#romanticise your life#girlblogging#coquette#lana del rey#girlblogger#this is a girlblog#girl interrupted#female hysteria#this is what makes us girls#lizzy grant#girlhood#my youtube channel#youtube#feminine journey#the female gaze#femininity#female insanity#female rage#female experience#girl stuff#girl problems#girlcore#girly stuff#manic pixie dream girl#lgbt pride#queer pride#mental health
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