#klonopin it is

[ashyblondwaves]

Had to take my emergency meds, the anxiety has been that bad. I want to relax and write tonight not end up having multiple panic attacks.

[brinnanza]

see the thing about the whole autistics take everything literally is that we don't actually take everything literally obviously many of us love wordplay no the thing that people MEAN when they say we take everything literally is that we believe what you tell us.

it is never the first impulse (for me at least) that something is a joke or a lie unless I already have evidence. take the grade school gullible is written on the ceiling. you look and the other person laughs at how gullible you are. except in my brain, and I suspect many other autistics as well, things are assumed true unless proven otherwise. and probably some of it for me is just like decades of extreme gaslighting until i became unable to trust my own experiences, memories, and sensations but also it's like... most of the time when people speak to you it is with some degree of authority, whether that is professional or an opinion they really have or their interpretation of something. so without any reason to suspect otherwise, I'm going to believe you.

and yes this is dangerous and yes this makes it very easy to be taken advantage of and yes it does sorta come around to becoming suspicious of everything all the time which is exhausting but maybe the klonopin will sort it out but my point is. in terms of autistics taking things literally. we are the ones being normal about human communication jokes are fun but man you gotta telegraph that or you just sound like a moron "haha it's a joke" no baby that's a lie you think is funny a joke requires a set up and an inversion of expectation you received a reaction that was reasonable for the given stimulus that's just cause and effect do you find the lightswitch equally compelling???

[teethpaste]

When u find out your pharmacy gave you the *wrong* script so every time u thought you were taking klonopin u were ACTUALLY just randomly taking a 10mg dose of lexapro

[peachdoxie]

Ah yes, the two Kholin brothers, Adderall and Ritalin

[akashicrecord]

I want to fuck my husband on CHRISTMAS and lay my head on his big bubble butt but he has been taken to the cruel land of Alabama

[webdiggerxxx]

꧁★꧂

[wilson-is-a-slut]

has anyone done this yet? is this how i break into the house fandom?

[sjweminem]

hoffman, flushed and sweaty in a partially-unbuttoned shirt straddling strahm's lap while strahm pins his hands behind his back with one hand and has the other wrapped around hoffman's neck. all the while mocking him for liking this kind of treatment so much.. is that anything

[itsallgravybabyyy]

a friend stoppped by to smoke and then gave me a variety of pillls....... i uhhhhh maayor may not have taken them all?

prolly shoulda looked em up lmao

[vivid-vices]

the quest for sleep continues unsuccessfully

[freud1ansl1ps]

the setup for tonight

[deermouth]

roommate having to give me one of her klonopin specifically because i was dissociating rather than noticeably energetically losing my shit is novel to me tbh. wym there is compassion located outside of certain visible thresholds of distress

[angria]

Literally labored breathing on the train as though I just ran for miles. I don’t know why I’m so panicked about my home-state. Last time wasn’t this bad. I don’t know what is going on and my head is scrambled and I want to claw out of my body.

Debating about asking Dr W for klonopin, but I know she’ll never let me. Even all these years later. But this anxiety and panic (over various things) has not decreased for months, no matter what I do. My hair is falling out again, can barely eat, not sleeping. Idk.

Update: Pulled out my playdoh on the train…heart rate is lower at least…

[twinknote]

fun fact of the day: sometimes the waiting in fear is more gutting than the bad news itself

[faggotfungus]

Another thing from my appointment today; I told her how well my anxiety is now that I'm on Klonopin. I'm no longer anxious All The Time 24/7, and I don't fear panic/anxiety attacks all the time.

She responded by screwing her face up in discomfort again at the thought of me even being on a benzo.

Can't win anything.