#healed a part of me honestly
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
grievingchild · 6 months ago
Text
he said: “i still feel guilty, had i known, i would have asked you to stay, never would have let you leave. i could have saved you from all of that. prevented that. i never thought it would have ended up bad. become so dark. i never imagined. i was so happy for you. i wished i just asked you to stay there with me”
1 note · View note
faggling · 8 months ago
Text
ive decided im singlehandedly going to bring mr robot back from the dead because if any show deserves to have a revival in popularity it does
like.
can you fucking imagine the discourse??? the possibilities are endless
77 notes · View notes
bloomynmoon · 4 months ago
Text
Many many fandoms this time around!!!
33 notes · View notes
blakbonnet · 2 years ago
Text
wonder when we'll watch Ed giggle again, will it be because of something Stede does or says, will it be before they've made up and the giggle just sorta staggers out of him unprompted, will it be post reunion and he's feeling silly and relaxed and watching the crew and Stede tackle some ropes on the Revenge, will it be way way before the reunion when he's still raw and hurting and but it surprises him that there's still joy and beauty in the world
259 notes · View notes
itsmistyeyedbi · 5 months ago
Text
The detectives love interest calming and comforting them does so much to my heart and the "I'm here for you" throughline is perfect, but the bff ones also do shit to my heart🥺
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's Morgan, Farah, Nate and Adam respectively and my little heart almost burst🥺
32 notes · View notes
skzoologist · 1 year ago
Note
Your request are open so...Could you write a fic abt like it snowing in October (sadly happened to me) and the boys just complaining abt it and sticking to bae's side, using bae as a human heater, hot chocolate. With tons of fluff and crack (sorry if its not understandable English isn't my native language)
word count: 2.2k
warnings: none
genre: fluff and crack (more fluff, this is my fault tbh, i can only write two things: angst or fluff, no inbetween)
a/n: I let out all the fluff from my heart into this, I'm so sorry, but I just love winter and it shows. I hope you're doing fine with the sudden snow, take care of yourself! And as I said, you're completely fine, I understood you perfectly, I just hope I wrote what you imagined. Thank you again for requesting, and feel free to come back any time for more!
Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!
!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!
!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
Tumblr media
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
A soft tune floated through the room, waking Bae from his pleasant slumber. His blind hand quickly found his phone on the nightstand, having always placed the device there, an almost ritualistic act of his. A soft little sigh left his body in protest of the idea of getting up, the blanket warm and snug around his form. It all felt like laying in the middle of a cozy cloud sandwich, warmed by the gentle rays of the sun as they wrapped themselves around his waist.
Wait, the sun wouldn’t make small sounds in its sleep.
Rubbing his eyes open slowly, Bae found the reason why his bed felt like the inside of a furnace itself, the body of his leader laying just beside him. Soft snores left his form, his features peaceful as he was finally asleep, a rare moment in itself from the man who avoided sleep as if it was the plague. Bae couldn’t help the small smile that sneaked itself onto his lips, even though there was an uninvited guest in his own bed. 
He let himself lay there for a few more minutes, observing the other, before finally tearing his gaze away and gently getting up, careful not to wake the other. The man was notorious for how light he slept, and Bae would rather be caught dead than be the reason for Chan's awakening. As he slowly slid out of the warm haven, he watched, amused, as hands tried to follow his wake uselessly. It was clear Chan was missing the warmth from his side, a little frown taking the content expression's place on his face. Bae caught himself almost letting out an amused exhale, the sight entirely too controversial as to what the world knew as Stray Kids’ strong leader.
It was adorable, a carefully treasured moment in Bae’s mind. What he didn’t understand though was the reason why his hyung was there, in his room. It rarely ever happened, especially like this, when the tired producer showed up in the bed, overnight, uninvited.
Not wanting to linger too much on that thought and be late from his personal dance practice, he turned around to start getting ready. Yet, his feet stopped in their place, the air prisoned in his chest.
It was snowing.
October merely started a few days ago, the weather normally chilly and nowhere near cold enough to form the pristine flakes that were now gracefully falling from the sky, as if it was all completely natural. The sky was white, a layer of unflavoured cotton candy enveloping the streets below. Before he knew it, Bae was already at his entirely too huge window, his hand sticking out of its opened form. The air lightly bit into his skin, the limb turning cold as it waited there patiently for as long as it needed to. 
Pale skin slowly turned red, goosebumps forming here and there when finally, a snowflake landed on his outstretched hand.
Big, sparkling eyes watched the little thing, its intricate design. How the lines branched out and met each other, how they twisted gracefully, until they created something so tiny, yet so breathtaking. Another one landed next to it, a bit bigger, yet its design completely different. It was more round instead of a star shape, as if the sky crocheted a little tablecloth for fairies.
“As much as I know you love snow, please come back in, you’ll catch a cold.” - a raspy voice pleaded with him from behind, strong arms gently tugging him away and closing the window.
Bae didn’t feel that cold until now, his fingers aching, his skin lightly prickling as warmth finally blanketed it once again. A sneeze left his form, quiet and muted, much like the type of person he was. A tissue appeared in his vision, his slightly shaking hands accepting it gratefully.
“Sorry I woke you up.” - Bae quietly muttered once he was done, glancing down at a Chan who was looking entirely too fondly up at him. “Nah, it’s okay. Should’ve woken up soon anyway.”
Bae nodded at that, knowing fully well that the man was too stubborn to say anything else. He went around his room and silently got ready for the day, his form quick and efficient as it glided over the cold floorboards. Once he had the bed made, comfy clothes ready to be worn prepared on top of it, he turned to his quiet leader, head tilted. He still didn’t know why the man decided to raid his room, after all.
“Aish, don’t look at me like that!” - at Chan’s protest, Bae merely tilted his head to the other side.
“Fine, fine! It was already snowing by the time I got back and my bed was just way too cold.”
The leader’s ears were too red, his arms crossed and lips in a pout. Yet Bae merely airily laughed, not at all surprised at the whole thing’s reasoning. Catching a glance of the newly appeared dimples, he turned around, now really needing to go and get ready for his practice. On his way to the bathroom, he bumped into a sleepy Jisung and Changbin, greeting their confused forms as he hurried by.
After a quick shower and his morning routine done, Bae, who was now fully clothed -even with a beanie-, ran into a problem.
That problem being his noisy roommates.
“Nooooo, don’t go, jagi, pleaaaaaase. It’s snowing, it sucks, just stay back!” - Jisung wailed with his doe eyes staring at his victim, arms locked around one of Bae’s. “Aaaaa, don’t goooooo, stay with uuus! It’s too cold for you to leave!” - it was Changbin, the loudest, as he was holding Bae back from behind with all his strength. “Baby don’t goooooooooo. It’ll be too cold without you here.” - even Chan joined them, clinging onto Bae’s other arm.
Of course, Hyunjin was also on the loud trio’s side, his entire weight supported by Bae as he just leaned against his front quietly. The other three shouted enough, he didn’t need to join them to try and win Bae over, the drama llama knew that. It took every fibre of Bae to not just topple over, the pulling and pushing forces on his body almost too much to handle.
He really should have anticipated this all from the moment he saw that it was snowing, his bandmates always turning into even bigger cuddlebugs and whiney babies the moment winter arrived. He could merely sigh, letting the tension leave his body, silently telling the others that he would, in fact, stay back with them. It was a Sunday after all, something they got to spend however they wanted to, as the company forced them to take a break against their will -something Bae clearly didn’t want to oblige to-.
“I’ll call the others over!” - Hyunjin immediately left to grab his phone, energy suddenly radiating from him. “Tell them to bring snacks!” - it was Changbin, his form already in the kitchen to grab their own snacks. “And some fluffy blankets! You know, like the one Felix has!” - Jisung’s voice rang through the entire dorm, his form zooming around the rooms and collecting blankets and pillows. “Just tell them to be careful and to dress up warm!” “Okay old man!”
Chan could only sigh, his head resting against Bae’s shoulder as he now fully stood behind his tallest member, arms encircling petite waist. Bae gently shook his head, not understanding how they could be so clingy just because of a little snow. With his hands over Chan’s, he waddled over to the living room, depositing the protesting male there and pushing everything away to make place in front of the TV.
Not a minute later after he was finished did Jisung appear, arms full of comfy and fluffy blankets, pillows, everything you could imagine. The lil quokka deposited them there, the trio promptly grabbing them and building an enormous pillowfort. They even had some fairy lights installed inside, thanks to Felix who’d suggested it the first time they’d built something like this.
Sometime along Hyunjin joined in, latching onto Bae as if he was the weasel’s personal heater. It made the building a bit harder, but at this point, Bae was used to it, even as Jisung joined Hyunjin and dragged the poor otter to the ground. Jisung only laughed as his lips took on that lovely heart shape, making Bae remain silent as he found no strength to reprimand the boy for what he did.
Soon voices could be heard, the front door opening and the missing half of the band poured in. Felix beelined towards the kitchen along with Minho, bags in both their arms. Changbin greeted them loudly, still busy with making something. The two youngest joined the others in the fort, burrowing their way into Bae’s arms, much to the protest of everyone else.
“What’s with you guys?” - Bae asked incredulously, yet his arms circled around the two to hold them in place. “You run hot, perfect for snuggling. Especially on cold days like these. Even Innie cannot resist it, and that says something.” - Seungmin mumbled out, his face buried into Bae’s neck.
The maknae didn’t say a word, simply let out a content sigh as he snuggled into Bae’s chest on the other side, cold fingers settling onto the poor man’s sides and freezing him in silence. Hyunjin and Jisung grumbled, but let their cute little members stay there, instead settling behind Bae and playing with his hair. Chan merely watched the whole thing happen with fondness in his eyes, choosing to go out to the kitchen instead to help the others.
Good thing too, because everyone came back with their hands full, snacks and steaming mugs in their hands. Bae and the two young ones were forced to sit up as their own mugs were gently passed into their hands, the smell of hot chocolate hitting their faces full force. It was something that Bae loved, being a member of the club of coffee dislikers besides Felix, instead usually opting for sweet drinks. He leaned back against the two boys and the couch behind them, letting himself relax for once.
He watched the chaos he grew fond of fold out before him as he slowly sipped on his hot cocoa, savouring the pleasant burning sensation on his tongue. His eyes followed Changbin chasing Chan around, the latter having stolen a cookie from the dwaekki after their mugs were forgotten on the coffee table pushed to the side. He watched as Felix took the opportunity, taking more food for himself before the chasing duo could notice, a devilish little smirk playing on his lips. He also watched as Minho climbed into their fortress, threatening Hyunjin with some tissues after the boy didn’t want to let the cat take his place. Of course, Minho won, Hyunjin pouting as he sat aside and took a happy little Felix into his arms. 
Bae let his head fall back, looking at the resident cat and searching his face. Minho looked back at him, slowly blinking a few times and gently patting his side. It was their own way of communicating, telling the other that everything was fine and nothing bad happened on their way over. No words were needed, they easily understood the other. Bae just blinked back and turned forward, taking back the two youngest under his arms -as much as he could with his mug in his hands-, them having finished drinking it. Jisung snuggled into his back on one side, while Minho just leaned his head against his own.
By the time the other two joined them, their mugs weren't steaming anymore and some members started whining, wanting to already watch the movie. Of course, their first choice was a Ghibli one, with two big fans being in their midst. Howl’s moving castle started playing, everyone quieting down and settling in as snacks were passed around in the dark room, only illuminated by the fairy lights and the TV. The gentle glow and warmth enveloping them quickly put everyone into a fuzzy headspace, dancing on the precipice of sleep and awareness. With every movie they watched the more they leaned over to the side of sleep, eyes staying closed for a few seconds longer with each blink.
It was long past noon when everyone was at last fully asleep, limbs tangled with each other and snacks completely devoured. Bae was at the bottom of the pile, everyone hogging a part of him for at least a little bit of his warmth. Somehow while the movies played, Felix crawled on top of the tall male, selfishly taking the most for himself. Changbin by some strange means ended up hugging one of Bae’s legs, forced to sit near the edge of the fort. Chan was in a similar situation, limbs thrown over both Felix and Bae’s legs. Hyunjin wormed his way back behind Bae, making him, Minho and Jisung huddle there and act as the slumbering otter’s backrest. Seungmin and Jeongin successfully secured their position in Bae’s arms the whole time, peacefully snoring there.
Winter arrived sooner than it should have, and while the members liked to whine about it, it was also one of their favourite season for a certain cuddly reason.
75 notes · View notes
abigail · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i was so brave about it btw .
50 notes · View notes
canichangemyblogname · 4 months ago
Note
*grabs popcorn* why did you tag 'the writing did her so dirty' re: taylor kelly?
I finally found the words for this answer. For me, it has everything to do with the way she was written in 5A as if they were domesticating her, partially at the expense of what really made her an interesting character. I’d like to have seen her as that girl everyone loves to hate, but for the right reasons. “She’s a bitch.” Yes, and? “She hurt all these people.” Yes, and? Also… and this is just fan-canon, not something that I think the show would’ve (or could’ve) done, but pansexual Taylor in an established relationship with a woman is my absolute favorite 🫶.
Like… I hate to give buddie fans any points because most of them are committed to misrepresenting the point and a scene, but the whole “if Eddie were a girl, they’d have kissed already” held a bit of water during the Buck x Taylor era, but not because Buck and Eddie are queercoded, but because Buck x Taylor had the same vibe as “two people who met through work and only really have work in common, but dated anyway.” The two of them talked about their work lives more than any couple on the show. I feared that if either of them had a change of job, they’d cease to have anything to talk about, which *would* be the case for two people who are co-worker adjacent, but shouldn’t be the case for a couple. IMHO, Buck x Taylor wasn’t a result of Buck’s comp het, but societal comp het. They also—as I mentioned previously—seemed to stifle a bit of Taylor’s passionate, ambitious, career-above-everything characterization for a little bit there in 5A, and she kinda simply became Buck’s GF. There was a degree of domestication for her character there, and I hated that for her. 
Also… 911 honest opinion? I think Buck and Ali should have had a longer arc. 🫣 More on that below:
It really seemed like they had been narratively setting something up between Buck and Ali, given how the show paralleled Buck + Ali and Maddie + Chim with that one outro monologue about how sometimes the best things start with second chances. Because that monologue that introduced us to Buck x Ali had been all about “second chances,” I genuinely had assumed that she was coming back and that they’d work out their issues. Their relationship also felt narratively weighty because of *why* Buck chose to date her. He had a choice between old habits (re: Taylor Kelly) or making his happiness (re: the Buck Actually theme). They also chose an apartment together. Plus, their “break up” did not feel very final. Something about it felt unresolved.
Cast contracts permitting, if *I* had been on this project, I would have written Buck & Ali as tentatively working on their differences post-injury. When their relationship does end, I’d explore the concept that sometimes, genuinely liking one another—or love—is not enough (which I think would have been great to explore after the Daniel reveal, as love was not enough for a happy Buckley household). Ali & Buck may have progressed past health scares and job fears, but find themselves on two different paths in life (with her job and dreams taking her one way and his keeping him at the 118). Here we could also incorporate Buck’s Big Mistake™️ that we saw in his relationship with Taylor: keeping/hiding things from his partner and overcompensating for that out of guilt to keep the relationship. Maybe that something is family related (re: Daniel) or maybe job related (revisit old wounds that weren’t actually healed during the sniper arc, an emergency he expressly doesn’t tell Ali about for fear of her reaction). Hell, it could be Taylor-related (with Taylor, someone he has a previous dynamic with, “being Lucy” in this situation), if you really want, although I’m personally disinclined to taking this hypothetical story in that direction (mostly because I hate cheating arcs, but also because I think Buck and Taylor work better as friends).
I also think Buck could have still grown into the person he is now through this hypothetical of events instead of through shorter-term relationships.  Reasons I think this turn of events could have also worked for Buck’s growth:
We would still get Buck 3.0 seeking out therapy after being crushed, being dumped, and being assigned desk duty. Maddie points out that he’s not handling it well, and he takes it upon himself to do something about that, just like in canon. Maybe later in that season or early next, we find out that Ali had reached out, and Buck reaches back out to her following his conversation with Abby and some therapy, not wanting to leave things unsaid and knowing he hides his true feelings from people. Maybe he tells Ali about him wanting to work on himself and start again. This means that, yes, he’d spend season 3 single before getting back together in early season 4 to “try again” and “see where it goes.”
However, Buck will still be lonely at this time, now essentially having bought into the comp-het idea that part of the reason for our loneliness is not being partnered (just like in canon, but he’d be partnered instead of single during this). If work or a difference in life pulls Buck and Ali apart, we’d still get Buck dealing with this gaping loneliness. It’d be less of a “He hasn’t put himself out there since Abby” and more a “He’s in a relationship and still feels alone.” Maddie and Chim invite Josh to poker night not because of Buck’s “tragic singleness,” but because Ali couldn’t come (which means we still get everyone’s favorite Buck x Josh joke). The scene will lay the ground for the relationship issues he’ll run into in late 4B. Something like, “Buck never gets out of the house” or “He has a girlfriend, but no one would know,” while Josh tells him to be glad he’s got someone because it’s “rough out there” (all while still foreshadowing Josh’s later gay bashing that episode). And this hints at an element of compulsory heterosexuality to this scenario: Buck doesn’t just feel the need to make the relationship work because he wants to be there for people, but because he feels a need to be partnered. His parents are visiting and they’re always disappointed in him, but they’ve met Ali and they’re happy Buck’s partnered. So, he stays. He reads the love languages book (absolutely quackery of a theory, imho) for some ideas on relationship growth and making it work and he stays. He expresses that he really wants this relationship to be successful and meaningful (and that’s why he’s trying the self-help book), and he stays. But maybe we get the Buck equivalent of “my relationship feels like a performance.” Maybe Buck expresses some discomfort with what are essentially traditional aspects/dynamics of het relationships (something the 5 love languages is centered around). Things like, “I want to provide, but I also want to be taken care of.” We’ll also get a few scenes that suggest he and Ali don’t know each other well (like not knowing what to get each other for special occasions, and some conversations between Buck and Bobby). But, otherwise, Buck & Ali’s interactions with one another are sweet and romantic. He goes on a successful date with Ali instead of Monica. He also goes on a successful double-date with Monica x Albert, with Ali as his gf. Ali’s genuine affection for Buck really shines when Buck runs into his season 4 family issues, and she gets along with everyone in Buck’s life, including Maddie, Chim and Albert, and even his parents. Their personal lives will seem to go strong because it’s the way their work lives interfere with their personal lives that will drive the wedge between them. Red’s warning about being too consumed by the job and how hard this is to compete with swirl around in Buck’s head the whole relationship. Buck fears that much like Red, he’ll never be able to make it work.
Eventually, however, we would get Buck figuring out that he doesn’t have to stay with someone just to stay with someone. (“I’m not happy. And if this isn’t a healthy relationship, then maybe the best thing for me to do is be the one who leaves.”) So, in early 4B when issues he thought they’d worked through rise again and maybe Ali discovers that Buck’s keeping something from her (I’m leaning toward him purposefully keeping aspects of his job from her, like not telling her about the sniper [among other things], once more revealing how Buck puts other’s comfort above his personal life and happiness and again reinforcing the idea that Buck’s career is too “consuming” and too “dangerous” for some partners, but also revealing that he doesn’t trust Ali not to run again -> but this leads Ali to not trust that Buck won’t keep important things from her and also leads her to realize that he will ice her out of important parts of his life), Buck decides, “I do like you, but I don’t think this is going to work out.” He then spends all of season 5 single, and it would be cool to see a “I’m working on myself, I want to be single” storyline, which would factor well into his further self-improvement arc during the interim-Captain storyline. He will then still meet Natalia in season 6 and they’ll be drawn together and apart for many of the same reasons as in canon.
But crucially, this means that I’d have kept Buck and Taylor friends in seasons 4 & 5 because 1.) I think the men of 911 do not have enough women in their life platonically outside blood relations, 2.) I found their dynamic *before* they started dating much more compelling, and 3.) them making Taylor Buck’s GF seemed to stifle her character a little, so she was less the ambitious, passionate reporter and more just… a sweet girl. In my hypothetical, she’s still there in seasons 4-5, and ever the go-getting reporter. Maybe she has less screen time, but she’s still there. Many of the work-related scenes between her and Buck would and could (and should) remain. Anything related to investigations and her reporting would absolutely stay. I think that Taylor could neatly fit into a similar role that Josh does with Maddie. She’s blunt, no holds barred. He tells her about his family, roommate, and relationship issues in S4, and she always gives him the tough answer. She confides in him when the pandemic becomes too much. They team up for the hit-n-run investigation and the treasure hunt (Ali also joins them). She is his friend—and maybe one of the only ones outside the 118 family— who is there when his best friend, Eddie, gets shot (but clearly—and crucially—not in the same way Maddie is there for Chim or Karen is there for Hen because she’s *not* Buck’s GF or a potential LI, and also not in the same way that Ali is *not* there for Buck, given Buck goes to lengths to hide this development from Ali, like putting on his vest in secret). She is still hard on him for his “neediness” and “impulsivity.”
IMHO—not too much changes between them. There’d be fewer scenes between them, sure. They wouldn’t kiss. Some of their more emotional conversations would be less couple-y, like the coffee date where he talks about his family. (And I personally love the idea that this whole time they’re friends, Taylor is dating a woman and Buck has met this woman or heard about her, but that is, again, just fan-canon.) Also, we’d miss that scene of Taylor in her black lingerie (sorry lesbians) and Buck in that grey A-line Tee (sorry to me), but not much is otherwise changing. Hell, even the way things eventually break down doesn’t need to change (minus the issue with Buck asking Taylor to move in after he and Lucy kissed). Buck will still learn that he can’t fix everything because Taylor will still prioritize her career over her friendship. Plus, a friendship crashing and burning is its own beast, and one that would teach Buck that it’s not just in his romantic relationships that he gives too much of himself. (Cough, cough, a lesson he could learn with Eddie.)
Also, with this breakdown coming so soon after breaking things off with his gf, his best friend damn near dying, and his sister running away, Buck will go to lengths to try and fix the issues in his friendship, lengths like going to Oklahoma to support her (a trip where he meets her GF in my fan-canon). He wasn’t enough to inspire Abby to stay. He couldn’t make it work with Ali. Eddie fucking got shot. Maddie’s run away. And now a difference in world views has put him and a friend at odds with each other (something that *seems* fixable). So, he’ll try his damndest to fix things, desperately wanting this to work out as everything else goes haywire. “I can’t lose a friend, too.” “You were there for me after Eddie got shot, I want to be here for you now.” “Everything else is a mess; I want to help where I’m needed.” No more losing people. Except, it doesn’t work. Meaning, Buck would still come to understand himself and his localized view of himself relative to others vs. Taylor’s more universal view of herself as their friendship falls apart.
This also all still leaves Tommy to be different compared to Buck’s past romantic relationships, most of which happened on his partner’s terms rather than his own. It also still leaves Taylor in the series and her impact on Buck remains without half-nuking her character. Buck also maintains much of his character growth, as I will always maintain that Taylor was very important to Buck’s character growth.
8 notes · View notes
yourlocaldisneyvillain · 5 months ago
Text
i'm overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments i got on my latest fic! my heart goes out to all the survivors of sexual abuse, and i'm glad my fic has helped many of you process your own trauma. <3
#personal#i honestly wrote it bc i was feeling quite Bad abt very Old Wounds haha as i am sometimes wont to do#bc of a person/event that reminded me of my abuser#i thought it may resonate with like one or two people but i mainly wrote it for myself#and i am so surprised that so many people have messaged me about it#also kinda sad bc that means they've Not Had A Good Time#however i'm very glad my fiction can provide some sort of relief/catharsis#it's an isolating experience to have very ambivalent feelings abt your own abuse#and to become aware of your own patterns of seeking to repeat it/seeking toxic dynamics that remind you of it#about 6 years have passed since i was last abused in such a way#and while i do get randomly sad about it and while it has affected my psyche in a very significant way#and while i still do get the occasional flashback albeit it is much more rare nowadays#and still do react to certain things quite disproportionately#i have to say it DOES get better#esp if you make a tangible effort to heal#you will get there#and while it is a part of you it is not who you are#and you are capable of living a fulfilled and satisfying life#sexually and otherwise#i used to be so upset about not being a Good Victim#but the best thing i've done is that i have given myself grace and stopped policing/moralising my own experience#(that does not mean allowing myself to engage in repeated self-abuse)#(even if i have slipped a couple of times bc i am human)#i have allowed the space for my toxic fantasies instead of trying to banish them#but i have sought to fill my life with other positive experiences#while not forgetting or erasing the negatives#and while my abuse will always be a part of me it will not prevent me from being happy#also kink has helped a lot as well as writing#but i advise ppl to tread VERY carefully with kink as esp as abuse survivors#it is a slippery slope and it can be dangerous in many ways
8 notes · View notes
alithetiredartist · 8 months ago
Text
The dramatic irony of everything happening with Jojo Siwa is so fucking hilarious
First she exploits a disabled child -not hilarious- repeats the cycle of abuse that she was subjected to on dance moms with her own show, allegedly cheats on her girlfriend, etc, etc. then she goes through her “switch” and goes through her 14 year old emo phase at 20.
Tell me why this kid has the audacity to sing a song called Karma.
She tries so hard. She’s trying so hard to make it seem like she’s making the most dramatic change of her generation, she’s completely changed, no more rainbow glitter dance moms now we have emo sparkle darkness revenge fairy. She wants people to think she wrote Karma. She talks about her writing process, and she says how brilliant she is for thinking it up, but she also says that it was pitched to her a few times so we can’t accuse her of lying.
I think on paper this plan was probably a great idea, a chance to break out of her reputation for bows and glitter, but the execution is nothing but a disappointment. I think instead of going emo and taking inspiration from things she doesn't understand and being genuine, the switch honestly could've been welcomed with open arms but she's not genuine and she doesn't want to make a natural switch. She wants to be risky because she thinks it'll make her look cool or someone higher up decided for her and she went along with it because that's what'd make more money or maybe her mom made her.
Once it came out that Jojo didn't only not write the song herself, she wasn't even the first one to record it, that's when the irony of the situation kicks in. I know absolutely nothing about Brit Smith but she's and icon and I love her with my whole heart.
Brit Smith releasing her version of Karma and it doing better than Jojos is my favorite form of dramatic irony because of course this all happened to a song named Karma.
18 notes · View notes
aerodaltonimperial · 7 months ago
Text
woke up feeling weirdly grateful to fandom (must be pride month lol) so just wanted to toss out a big thank you to anyone who has ever read my fics. you really make me feel like i matter when i hear that my words make people happy or flaily or screaming or what have you. it honestly means the world to me knowing that people take their own free time and use it to read things i have written; given everything, i can't overstate how much this helps to heal over the big me vs. writing/publishing wounds. 💚💚💚 i had really truly considered leaving fandom the past few weeks, but i don't want to any longer, and a huge part of that is you wonderful folks for being here.
12 notes · View notes
eye-in-hand · 6 months ago
Text
Showed the Rabbi my art of Ruth and Naomi and Shemot and he asked me to do some art for an event the Synagogue is having soon ahhhhh
Another member asked if my partner and I could help with a pride event later in the year!
8 notes · View notes
carrionsflower · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
12 notes · View notes
kyros-tha-soldier · 1 year ago
Text
ONE PIECE 1097 SPOILERS
The world government's description of Kuma:
Bartholomew Kuma the tyrant is a menace to people, being a buccaneer only adds to his hostility, he's dangerous beyond means and should be manipulated for our benefit!
Also Kuma:
Tumblr media
20 notes · View notes
here-comes-the-bard · 8 months ago
Text
vinkaide and poly pile are both "excuse me they asked for no pickles" ships and that's it that's the post
6 notes · View notes
stardust-moth · 2 months ago
Text
looking at some takes on characters or relationships or scenes in which things happen between them and just thinking,
How in the hell are people interpreting it this way??? But then i step back and realize that the story or character in question is fundamentally and extraordinarily different from the average person's life experience and I go,
ah,
you guys just... don't have a deep enough understanding of trauma responses...
#mine#vagueblogging again i guess but this applies to many things#its honestly okay that the general public doesn't grasp the deeper layers at play because tbh theyre not often explored in media#to that degree at least#ive known someone with deep. Deep. DEEP traumas#shit that no human should ever go through and sounds almost cartoonishly evil#and the truth is#healing from that is UGLY. the impact it has on how a person interacts with their life is unimaginable#and it often makes NO SENSE AT ALL to someone who hasn't experienced the same shit#it's not as simple as 'i'm sad or scared and i cry easily but if youre nice to me and love me it'll go away'#in my own experience of loving someone like that#you sometimes have to work at helping them rewrite their entire philosophies.#things you wouldnt even think of#sometimes expressing sadness or pain is the hardest part about it because they're so used to turning the other cheek to survive#sometimes theyre so used to being manipulated that they reject any kindness you offer in the most viscerally violent way#and it hurts!#communication is HARD!#receiving love is HARD!#i was listening to Raon Lee's cover of Kokoronashi#and thinking about how raw the emotions are in the lyrics#and how so many average joes out there wouldn't be able to make any sense of it but those who do get it really get it#(essentially like... 'i wish you would just get it overwith and tear me apart#bc it would hurt less than the confusion i feel at how you're kind to me and holding me and promising to never let go...#at least i know how to handle the pain of dying#this is so confusing and frightening what youre doing to me. i hate it i hate it but please... don't leave me alone')#(its such a gorgeous song)#sHIT AND THEN 2 SECONDS LATER I FIND KOHANA LAM'S COVER OF IT AND IT'S SO MUCH MOR E#for the love of god look up that song and turn on lyrics captions
2 notes · View notes