#also i honestly have no idea what im doing but i told myself id share this everywhere i could! so!!

[crunchytoast1]

Hello tumblr phannies. To celebrate the 7th anniversary of the LADYDOOR remix, I'm doing a YouTube charity livestream for Heal Palestine on December 28th 5pm EST (IN 2 DAYS)!!

Tune in to youtube.com/crunchytoast1 and come PARTY 🎉 (like it's 2017/Interactive Introverts 2018) in the LADYDOOR 🚺🚪…charity livestream for Heal Palestine ❤️🇵🇸

I'll be hosting a watch party of my old Dan and Phil edits plus many more surprises and fun times

*hint: -bespoke- Roblox level, "we have sister daniel at home", & more!!!

If you can't make it or Silly Phandom Meme Hour circa 2017 isn't your vibe (completely fair, totally understand lol) there will be a donation feature directly to the charity during the stream and I'll make it ongoing on the archive! Every bit counts!! Or check out Heal Palestine's website to donate directly now!! ❤️🇵🇸

[moestavern]

The HOMOE Masterpost

Shoutout to @butchbarneygumble for oking me to steal this idea from their Moeney Masterpost! Go peep that btw.

I see almost no one acknowledge all the gay shit these two have going on so i have to ship them all by myself and honestly that's unacceptable given how much this show implies between them. And with a ship name like Homoe? You have got to be kidding me they were handed to me on a golden fucking plater.

Blah blah i know these are jokes or w/e but its a show, no one here is real, you are not affected by me wanting these middle aged men to kiss each other (more than they already do) so lets get on with it!

This is currently only clips from the show, i will go through the comics/books/etc. if anything's hidden in there and ill add it to this post in the future.

This is gonna be a long post so everything is gonna be under the cut.

Episode: (S2E11) One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish

Homer Kisses Moe. Moe responds with "not in public". So in private then?

H: Oh words wont do it- I love you Moe M: Not in public

---

Episode: (S8E3) The Homer they Fall

Just this whole episode.

H: Are you an angel? M: Yes Homer, Im an angel. All us angles wear Farah slacks. H: But you stopped the fight. Wont everyone be mad at you? M: Eh, lettem be mad. The only thing that matters to me is your'e safe. - D: Homer, your manager obviously loves you very much.

---

Episode: (S9E16) Dumbbell Indemnity

Dancing together + hints throughout. "if you squint" kinda stuff but ill take my breadcrumbs.

---

Episode: (S11E6) Hello Gutter Hello Fadder

Homer and Moe consider one another life partners.

Ma: Well, the one sure cure for the blues is to talk it over with your life partner. H: You're right! - H: I cant believe it Moe. The greatest feet of my life is already forgotten. M: Geez, Homer. I never seen ya this depressed. As your life partner, Im very worried.

---

Episode: (S11E10) Little Big Mom

When Lisa calls the tavern, Moe asks if Homer is going to another bar like its a cheating situation. Look at me however you want that's how im taking this. Moe's clingy.

M: Hey uh- is Homer there? L: No, he isn't. I dont know where he is. M: Im a little worried. He usually stops in for an eye opener on the way to work. L: He told us he'd been going to the gym. M: Uhahaha- Wow. Anyway, you dont think he could be at another bar do ya? Because i couldnt take that- i- i just couldnt. *crying*

---

Episode: (S11E16) Pygmoelian

Homer tells Moe his acting is a turn on.

M: The one hole ive never been able to fix is the one in my soul. H: That was amazing Moe. Im actually a little turned on. M: Yeah, hey i gotta gift.

---

Episode: (S16E7) Mommie Beerest

The thing i dont say is that i primarily ship all three of them together especially during late seasons. Reading "Moe takes the place of marge" jokes as shippy is- a bit of a stretch? whatever, it includes Moe telling Homer "i love you" and Homer calling Moe "Honey".

H: What would Marge say? M: Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homie. H: Ok honey, ill do it! Ma: What's going on here? M: Nothin- Nothing.

Also Homer and Moe sharing a bed 1/2.

---

Episode: (S17E5) Marge's Son Poisoning

If i had a nickel for every time Moe and Homer were called life partners id have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice. (This has to be a lie, im certain there is a third time this has happened, i have yet to find it again) "They're lying, they're trying to hustle" um stfu- idc that's his life partner. he said so.

RT: God dern it son- what tha hell kinna sissy are you? M: Hey are you calling my life partner a sissy? Cause a hundred bucks says he could whoop you in arm wrestling.

---

Episode: (S18E6: Moe n' a Lisa)

Moe tells Homer he loves him.

H: Seriously Moe, I think you have a gift. M: Thanks Homer, I love you man. H: OoooOH you love a man.

---

Episode: (S20E8) The Burns and The Bees

Moe explains bees having sex to Homer and Homer thinks Moe is talking about the two of them.

H: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species? M: Actually Homer *whispering* H: *gasp* You and me? M: No. The bees. H: Oh! Yeah yeah. That's what i meant too. I... have no... inclination...

---

Episode: (S21E30 The Great Wife Hope)

Moe takes Homer dressed as Marge to his class reunion. He says he took Barney the year before.

M: Lets go Marge. My class reunion starts in an hour. H: Uh, Moe, i have a confession to make. Im just Homer dressed as Marge. M: Yeah, but last year i took Barney dressed as Marge. Think how much better they'll think you look. Hmm? H: Well you better not leave me and talk to your old friends all night. M: Keep talkin like that and ill leave ya here right now.

---

Episode: (S21E21) Moe Letter Blues

Homer kisses Moe.

H: Moe, i dont know rather to punch you or kiss you. So im gonna do both.

---

Episode: (S24E2) Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Look, i know its a demon that looks like Moe and NOT Moe. But cmon what was this???

H: Listen, pal, you seem like an honest guy. Is there any other deal you can accept? D: Three way. H: Hm- You, me, Marge? D: Demon, demon, you. H: Sigh- I guess its one of those things a dad has to do. - H: Now before we start, what's the safe word? D: Cinnamon H: Oh! I like that. Now, id like to try something new, if you dont mind. D: Cinnamon. Cinnamon! Cinnamon! Cinnamon!

---

Episode: (S25E12) Diggs

Ok- so the way Bart describes his feeling for Diggs is really queer and Homer immediately compares that to his feelings towards Moe.

B: I met this kid. Little older. Kinda strange. I dont think other people get him but i just wanna hang out with him all the time. H: *gasps* Its even better than i thought. You found your Moe Szyslak!

---

Episode: (S27E10) The Girl Code

Homer kisses Moe.

M: Hey what tha hell? Get your kisser off my head puss! H: What? Its how greek men say 'hello'. Non sexual guy kissing is the best.

---

Episode: (S28E4) Treehouse of Horror XXVII

Moe kisses a picture of Homer twice.

Thanks @leibi97 for remembering this one for me!

--- Episode: (S28E13) Fatzcarraldo

Homer calls Moe his "sweet wonderful bartender"

H: i had a great day and i really wanna celebrate with the boys so dont wait up for me my sweet wonderful bartender, Moe. M: Alright but whos the boys? H: Marge's boobs. See ya!

---

Episode: (S29E16) King Leer

Homer carrying Moe into the store. But also i like this episode over all from a Homoearge standpoint.

M: When i cross this threshold i begin a new life! *Picked up by Homer* This is the first time that ive ever been carried into a store. Look at me now lady foot locker! Look at me now.

---

Episode: (S32E15) Do Pizza Robots Dream of Electric Guitars

Ok guys THIS is what im talking about when i say in later seasons i kinda ship all three of them.

Ma: Did you see how he ate his breakfast? He doesn't shuffle his pancakes like a deck of cards. He doesn't air drum while driving, or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. And he always won. He's not my Homie anymore. B: We didnt notice any of that. Ma: A wife knows. M: And a bartender. Hes just- hes just not the same. He dont spin Barney around on the stool no more. He dont drink beer from a crazy straw just a sensible straw. What are we gonna do about our little man Midge? Ma: Were just gonna have to love him that much more. M: I didnt think that was possible. - B: Im used to seeing mom upset about dad, but Moe. That really shook me.

---

Episode: (S35E7) Its A Blunderful Life

They love each other :)

M: How dare you show your face in here. H: Moe, its me, and beneith all the drinking and the jokes we have a real relationship. And that means something. M: What are you gettin at? H: C'mon man. Deep down, we kinda love each other. H: *thrown through window* M: Love you too

---

Episode: (S35E15) Cremains of the Day

Moe and Homer share a bed 2/2.

M: Oh cmon Lenny, ghosts aint real. eh

Holding each other.

---

Episode: (S35E17) The Tipping Point

Dont- Even- Get- Me- Started

M: Exact change huh? Thats it? H: Aw, i really wanna tip ya Moe, but i promised my wife id quit. M: Heres a thought Homer. What if you took the moolah outta your pocket but you just stopped before anything happened? Ya know, everything but the tip. H: That dosent seem like it could lead to anything. M: Sure it couldnt. H: *slowly hands Moe ten dollars* H: We shouldnta done that. M: Does that mean- that you wanna stop? H: No *hands Moe more money* *moaning* It feels so good *hands Moe more money* M: Dont stop you generous man *handed more money* *moaning* Aw yeah give it to me big boy H: *handing Moe more money* You like that? M: Oh thats the spot H: I can do this all night M: Right there H: Tell me you want it M: Oh god- Oh god- Oh god- Oh god! H: Yes- Yes- Yes- Yes! *Wallet sprays money on Moe* C: I need a new bar. - M: *following Homer out of the bar* Where ya goin? H: I cant stop tippin Moe. Im hooked on tha rush! I gotta monkey on my back and hes got his hand out. M: But, what about us? H: No one service worker can satisfy my needs. God help me im a tip-phomaniac.

---

Jesus ok i dont know how to conclude this post. I will make updates to this. I know im missing stuff.

This is about a 3rd of my "moe is bi" list so maybe ill make that its own masterpost.

Someone asked me today what ship dynamic they are and i told them "the dumb one/the evil one/the woman". My spouse and i have been watching Futurama and they pointed out to me it was the same dynamic when i said i saw something between Fry/Bender/Leela as a trio.

[wizisbored]

im curious what the .6 au could possibly be, but I also wanna know about the rest of the 44. Can you list them? Thats a whole lot of aus, presumably for more than just one fandom?

ohh i have been waiting for this day. i keep a list so i dont forget myself. these are not strictly in order of creation because i started the list after i started writing fics and for the purposes of this list ive seperated the fandoms. not all of these are things im actively working on, sometimes i have an idea and i put it on the list so i dont forget about it so i can come back to it later. yes i do have other fics not on this list but post-canon stuff and oneshots dont go on the count

(edit: im going to be using this post as an au directory and editing it to update as i make more. ive also added post-canon stuff and oneshots so its all in one place but those arent numbered.)

starkid

1 - i'm going to live twice (#igtlt fic) / ragdoll (#tinky!zaz) (ive mentioned a couple times that these were intended to be in the same universe. i kept quiet about it while i was more actively in the hatchetfield fandom but eh, fuck it) 2 - wildfire (#wildfire fic) 3 - laboratory four (#lab 4 fic) 4 - smoke and feathers (#sf fic) 5 - double e au (#double e au) 6 - nasty emma (#half-infected!emma) 7 - little firebringer (#lfb fic) 8 - teacher's pet (#teachers pet fic) 9 - feral-infected paulkins (#feral-infected!paulkins) (ive written a oneshot set in this universe)

enjoying the show? (technically this one is an au but i never added it to the count because i never talked about it. and i could add it now but honestly i do not want to renumber the rest of this list so it remains in limbo) if it weren't for a runt the next one finishing what we started this is not what they thought purgatory would be it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

centaurworld

10 - the hitchhiker and the herd (i thought id talked about this one more on here but i could only find this) 11 - centaurworld western (i only found 2 art posts for this one heres the first, heres the second) 12 - armour amor (pretty sure i only ever talked about this on discord. it was about an armour maker and a horse armour maker collaborating on centaurs) 12.1 - the taurnado takes more than souls (and we've gotten to the deciamals! i came up with the initial idea for this au but it was very collaborative. the '.1' count is based on no actual maths i just figured that was about the amount of claim i really have over it)

beetlejuice

13.1 - bugebroph (#bugebroph) 14.1 - birdbath series (#bitb fic, #bitb2 fic) 15.1 - the firstborn (#firstborn au) 16.1 - little black dragon (#dragon au) 17.1 - snake oil (#snake oil au) 18.1 - accidental possession (#ah shit bj got in the meatsuit) 19.1 - blood of the covenant, water of the womb (#changeling twins au) 20.1 - the paranormal investigative society of dormitory four (haunted school au) 21.1 - stupid cat for stupid mental health (posted abou this one Once before putting it on the list so i didnt forget about it and then promptly forgettign about it) 22.1 - beetlejuice media multiverse (#3 lydias what crimes will they commit) 23.1 - in case of emergency, break glass (#ghost jars au) 24.1 - netherborne (#netherborne au) 25.1 - lydia gets stuck in a netherworld office job (i definately posted about this at least once but cant find it) 26.1 - the infernal children (#infernal children au) 27.1 - worm ranch (could only find a meme about this one) 28.1 - ten paces (#ten paces au) 29.1 - heritance of an occultist (#overcooked homunculus au) 30.1 - graverobbing (again i KNOW i posted about this maybe once before towwing it on the list to bookmark it but i cant find it now) 31.1 - the running iorn (railway taurs au) 31.6 - uh oh i came back wrong (#goddamit i told you not to come back wrong) (the rest of the collabs are listed as .5 because theyre shared with one other person. this ones with @blueskiesandstarrynights) 32.1 - fucked up ranch (i think i mentioned this maybe once on my blog but @maitlandmischief has more. it has since bloomed into a multiverse of rps but i dont want to have to think about how the fuck to log that in decimals so it stays .5 for now) 32.6 - piracy time (#very functional pirate crew) (collab with @bunnys-beetlejuice-blog that mostly exists on discord)

dying breath parent-creature conferences, the parent's guide to the young conduit (#pcc fic, #pcc2 fic) 'till death

nimona

33.6 - from the back of a blood red mare (#nimona cowboy au) 34.6 - nimona centaur au (#nimona centaur au) 35.6 - tricks of the light (#tricks au) (nimona big bang 2024 fic)

be right back (#be right back fic) its not me (#rabies time fic) sidekick ettiquete (#sidekick ettiquete fic)

crossovers

36.6 - anarchy's apprentice (#crocodile beetlejuice hours) (beetlejuice & centaurworld) 37.6 - blue beetles (#hf/bj au) (hatchetfeild & beetlejuice) 38.6 - strange hill high & beetlejuice (#shh/bj) 39.6 - starkid & bbc ghosts (sk ghosts au) 40.6- choir incomplete (#bj/rtc au) 41.6 - wednesday & beetlejuice (#wd/bj au) 42.6 - until we wake (#family bonding via dying in the wilderness timeloop) (beetlejuice & the red lantern) 43.6 - beetlejuice & cult of the lamb (#cotl/bj au) 44.6 - severavnce & beetlejuice (#severance/bj au) 45.6 - the worm hole (#the worm hole au) (the owl house & beetlejuice)

wildcards

46.6 - a bunch of fookin shite that happened (silly lil fnaf comic i made to show my friends in secondary school. put it on here because i was going to 'novelise' it and throw it on ao3 for a laugh and then forgot all about my intention to do that) 47.6 - carnival ghosts (#carnival ghosts au) (ride the cyclone)

[jazzyblusnowflake]

im definitely having the same fears as you do 😭😭😭😭 ive had some headcanons and ideas that id really wanna share with them but i wanna keep it as platonic as possible until its revealed how they are related aaaa- cuz honestly a part of me feels like "if they were sisters Liam would have told us right??? or at least Uzi and Doll would have some sort of understanding of it from childhood- rIGHT???" but at the same time its fuckin MD so.... smhhhh all i can really do is just wait for any sort of mentions of it =_= also yeah the part where we saw a picture of Nori being okay while Yeva has a busted eye and Alices face is literally smashed into the wall- id like to take an angsty approach at that and aay what if Nori didnt start out bad- but with the solvers influence and getting prodded at by the humans for too long she ended up snapping at some point and drifting away from any other drones she had any sort of relationship with in the labs, including Alice and Yeva. i had some ideas like if they were actually treated as labrats and put in cells or rooms maybe sometimes when Nori was thrown back in with a messed up image/maybe a bit covered with oil and in pain- Yeva would hug her and hold her close- to calm her down because she cared about her and in a symmetry scenario where khan had to put Nori out of her misery itd be the last time Yeva would also be holding onto Nori as she holds her back for dear life- 🥲 yes i like making myself sad shut up sjfbskfjsm //sobs in a corner

aLSO IF YOU WRITE ANYTHING PLZ LET ME KNOW 😭

We got a ship name for Nori x Alice: PurpleMalice

We also have fucking ship name for YEVA X ALICE!!!: CrimsonHorrors

but we dont have a fucking ship name for Nori x Yeva????? im flabergasted and offended. like what in the hell- the fandom has let me down once more u-u

also dont come at me with that "they are sisters" thing- first off- they are one of the manufactured gen of robots- aka they were MADE for the sake of testing- they dont/cant have parents- second of all- aside from their "wigs" they have different core/eye colors and different lingos- they cant be sisters- and also- yall would think if Doll and Uzi were related in any way- someone would have said SOMETHING to them by now in the show? 🤨 "ah yes honey i know 18 years on this planet has probably passed from your life but you know that girl with darker purple hair with tattered clothes that is probably a serial killer? mhm thats your cousin yep-"

you got a couple of drones cooped up in a cell you think they wont smooch at some point 🙄

[side note if they say they had a sisterly relationship towards eachother like Cyn and N i will probably take down any posts id ever make about them so theres that, i really hope they arent tho 😭]

but for the time being i think i like to make their ship name myself >:3

i will tag Nori x Yeva as: "SolverLilies"

purple lily means royalty and majesty-

red lily means love and devotion-

i think it fits them well for the time being until we find out more about them :"p

hopefully i could ship them smh- [dont worry about Khan ill take care of him 🙂🔪]

oh also i wanna name the ship for Nori x Yeva x Alice as HorrorLabMoms

aaaaand thats enough of me being a nerd for today- hopefully when the ep comes out ill get a better idea of their dynamics and decide if i even will still ship them or not afterwards- smfnskfj i really hope Nori wasnt evil before she went insane tho smhhhh

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 12]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, overstimulation, tiniest mentions of daddy!kink, a lil bit of a filler chapter!, this is the most btsvt chapter that it’ll ever get so i’m sorry if you dont like that!! 😭😭, a bit of a lighthearted chapter too tbh to ease everyone back into cherry bomb! 💕 I know its been like two fuckin weeks since the last update which is honestly insane to me! I almost couldnt remember where we even left off lmao kdjfhds 😩💕💕 Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting it out while we had two weeks of Monster Mash! Starting Monday, I’m gonna be going back to my normal posting schedule! 💕 have a great rest of the weekend, yall! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - ?

“Wait, seriously? You want to work here? But--but I thought you were from out of town?”

Jun’s eyes light up with excitement; fingertips crushing the resume you passed to him moments prior. “Um, well, there was a change of plans… and I’d really like to work somewhere where I have a friend! If you guys are still hiring, that is...” You reply back meekly.

It’d taken you all morning to write up a resume, blushing a little when you realize most of your income had been from camming. It’d also made you pause for a moment when you realized that it meant Jun would also know your real name too; as well as everyone who came through the diner and all of your coworkers.

“Yeah, of course! I, um, just give me a second to pass this to my manager, okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word!” Jun shoots you a wink before he turns to leave.

You take the opportunity to sit down at a nearby booth, fishing for your phone to text Seungcheol.

‘I think I might be getting the job!!’

cheollie ✨: oh? Not that I doubted you, but is it confirmed already?

‘Mm… Jun is trying to put in a word for me! But I’m confident!’

cheollie ✨: thats my baby ;)

You hear someone call your name hesitantly, only to find Jun standing a few feet away looking at you sheepishly. “Um, sorry, your name’s on the resume so I figured…”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s fine!” You awkwardly giggle. “I figured writing ‘Cherry’ as my name wouldn’t be too smart when you need to cross-reference my ID if I get the job.” Jun laughs as he takes the seat across from you in the booth, papers in hand.

“Well, I convinced my manager to let me interview you. Told him that if we’d be workin’ together that I’d want to scope you out for myself! He bought it, can you believe it!?” Grinning, he sets your crumpled resume down next to a small stack of papers. “I don’t doubt you’d pull your weight around here but I do have to ask… Why here of all places? I thought your, uh, other job was enough? Or I guess I assumed...” You bite your lip, flip-flopping on whether or not you wanted to let him know exactly what happened that led to your sudden decision.

“Um… There were just some big life changes I had to make on the fly and I’ll be living around here now! I’m trying out some new things… I also figured if I worked with you, then you’d know my schedule the best too! And you seem like a really nice and cool guy.”

Jun nods, smiling back at you.

“You got that right!”

“You’re seriously going to start working there?” Jeongguk raises a brow, cables in hand as he sets up the extra PC in his streaming room. “And the guy working there knows you? That doesn’t bother you?”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “Yeah and he knows me now too. And knows I’d kick his ass if he tried anything.” You pout from your place in the expensive gaming chair; eyes focused on Jeongguk who shimmies under the desk to start plugging in the cables.

“Well, yeah he does know me, but he’s also one of my regulars and knows the schedules I’ll need, so I think we can trust him!” They both nod and Seungcheol is quick to cross the small room until he’s right behind you.

“He seems like a nice guy though, I don’t think we have to worry.”

Jeongguk slides out from underneath the desk, dusting off his pants as he stands. “And if he does end up being a weirdo, there’s always a place for you at the roller rink!”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, hands gripping onto the backrest of the chair.

“No.”

“Hey guys, welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m JK, your regular host! Today, we have a suuuper special guest! Why don’t you introduce yourself, pretty lady~”

You take a deep breath as you lean in close to the mic; somewhat nervous and a little out of your usual element. “Hi everyone~ I’m Cherry! Some of you may know me from, um, the other side of the streaming-sphere but I’m joining my friend today in hopes of boosting our channels together and having a ‘lil bit of fun!!”

Seungcheol sits at the side as he watches the two of you; a small smile painted on his lips at the way the two of you seem to fall into your characters easily despite the somewhat different platforms and influx of different viewers.

The sound of donations and comments pour in a lot quicker than Jeongguk, himself, is used to; eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he pauses to watch them flood the screen.

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

xcaliburDK has donated $100

sleepy_wonu: never thought i’d be donating here but here we are

xcaliburDK: i was always a silent watcher but u kno i had to donate for my favorite girl!

seokGENIE: i feel like i’m entitled to something for taking your shift so i wont be donating, sorry pretty girl

j__min: can’t believe this kid got a collab with you before i did :(

j__min has donated $200

dtsug__a: i dont normally watch streams either but im curious

Jeongguk laughs, still in disbelief as the donations continue to pour in from a combination of your viewers and his. He always made a decent amount from his viewers but he couldn’t deny the pull you had from your viewers as well. “Wow, um okay, my donations are adding up a lot quicker than they usually do. That’s… Hey, whaddya say to streaming with me regularly?” He jokes. 

A shy laugh bubbles up your throat; ears and cheeks burning hot at the idea. You had never collabed with any other streamer before and despite your initial hesitance and unsureness, you too, were shocked to find how well the two of you were doing without your usual content.

“Erm, I’m not very good at gaming though… I don’t think your viewers would like it very much...”

seokGENIE: thats ok jk sucks at gaming too, it wouldnt be too different

j__min: lmao fkjdhf

dtsug__a: does he get roasted often on this channel? If so i’ll be tuning in more often

dtsug__a has donated $100

dtsug__a: for your troubles, pretty gal

“On second thought, let’s let this be a special occasion, huh? Maybe collabs for the holiday, Cherry?” Jeongguk grumbles and Seungcheol has to bite his lip to keep in his laughs from his side of the small room. You start to feel more and more comfortable at the lighthearted atmosphere; tucking a stray hair behind your ear before you lean in towards the mic again.

“Ah! Speaking of, don’t forget to tune into my camshow tomorrow~! JK and I will be gaming on there as well but… with some added fun to match my channel~! 21 and over only~” You blink at the computer screen, still a little unused to the idea that you weren’t technically being filmed. Although, it was a nice change for once; not needing to be all done up for a show and simply just talking to your viewers and reading comments.

sleepy_wonu: is dom daddy gonna be on the show too?

“Dom daddy? Oh you mean Se---”

“Yes! Kind of!” You cut off, laughing nervously. Nobody knew Seungcheol’s name except for Jun and you were trying to keep as much of him private as possible, until he was ready. “In a sense, he’ll be there! You guys will just have to tune in to find out!”

Jeongguk laughs into his own mic, scooting in closer to his desk as he loads up the game.

“I think that’s enough chatting for now, huh? Let’s get started! Tonight we’ll be playing Phasmophobia! We’ll be playing something more lighthearted on Cherry’s channel, as she requested. So tonight we’ll be playing something I picked out. You ready, baby?”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes, quietly taking a sip of his water.

“Ready when you are!”

“I gotta say, sweetheart, for someone who doesn’t play video games too often, you’re not too bad.” Seungcheol comments, nodding his head in amazement as the three of you exit Jeongguk’s PC room. He’d had a hard time keeping in his laughs as he watched from the side and he had to admit, you were even cuter when you were outside of your usual element.

“I have to agree with hyung, but maybe it was also the adrenaline and screaming that kept you goin’.”

The two males share a laugh as you pout and plop down onto Jeongguk’s living room sofa. “Hey, how were the numbers for tonight, by the way?” You ask quietly.

“Honestly? I think we made almost triple of what my channel usually sees. I know I don’t really make a ton off of my streams since I don’t really do anything, like, crazy but shit… Even I’m shocked at how much we made.”

Seungcheol’s lip ease into a smirk; Jeongguk really had no idea how much the two of you had made off of a couple videos alone.

“We still have one more stream to do and then we can just pool up the money and split it down the middle!”  

Jeongguk nods, stretching as he sits himself down onto the other end of the sofa. “I’ll bring my spare PC stuff so we can set up a little early tomorrow, if that’s cool with you two? Maybe have some food before we get started too ‘cause god knows I’m gonna be starving.” You look to Seungcheol who nods and checks his phone for the time.

“Yeah, we need to set up the cameras and lighting a little differently too so we’ll probably start earlier. Just text me before you drive over so we know when to expect you.”

You yawn next to Jeongguk; adrenaline having worn off as the tiredness finally sets in. “It’s so weird, usually I’m only just starting my stream right around this time but I’m so exhausted now...” Seungcheol’s eyes from cute crescents as he smiles down at you, stepping closer as he goes in to smooth down your hair.

“You really were screaming a lot, to be fair. How about we head home and you can sleep in the car?”

“Okay~”

Seungcheol lets you sleep in on Saturday morning, watching as your chest rises and falls with soft breaths.

He takes a moment to think over the last few weeks of his life and he can’t help the disbelieving expression that crosses his features when he realizes just how much had changed over the course of just weeks.

When the two of you had met, he wasn’t expecting much. He expected the two of you to hang out for a few days before you went home and forgot he even existed outside of your camshows and the comments section. But now that so much had happened between the two of you, Seungcheol felt a deeper connection to you and felt the need to protect you even moreso than ever.

He sees you shift slightly, sleepy eyes blinking open as you peer up at him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Mm… g’morning ‘cheol…”

You grimace sleepily at how hoarse your voice sounds, “Ew, I sound so… gross.”

Seungcheol moves to get out of bed, leaning in to kiss your forehead before he shuffles towards the bathroom. “I’m going to wash up but you can stay in bed if you like. I’ll make you some tea for your throat, okay? We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t think you wanna sound like that later tonight.”

Nodding sleepily, you lay back down as you yawn and let the sleep take over once again.

“Are you really sure ‘bout this?” Jeongguk takes a bite of his pizza as he watches Seungcheol pull the desk closer to the bed.

“What do you mean?” You ask; readjusting the light that was closest to the younger male. “Like, I dunno, I’ve never been on a cam show like this so… I mean do I have to do anything different?” You laugh lightly as you go in to pat Jeongguk on the shoulder.

“No, just be you. And we went over it already earlier, the only thing that’s different is going to be me! No weird tricks or anything, I promise.”

Seungcheol places another monitor on the tabletop, grunting as he goes. “Yeah, and in all honesty, I would hate to have to watch you get off, ‘Guk.”

“Oh shut up, hyung. You say that like I don’t know what you’re packin’ under those sweats. I think it’d only be fair! Just two bros getting to know each other.” Seungcheol pretends to gag just as you double over in laughter. “No, absolutely not, ‘Guk. And also, nobody told you to watch those videos!”

Jeongguk pauses, lips pressing into a firm line. “You right, you right…”

You leave to get changed just as Jeongguk starts to help Seungcheol set up the last few bits of equipment. He leans in close to the older male, eyes glancing around the space to make sure you were completely out of earshot. “Hey, hyung, honest question.”

“Sure.”

“Are you really okay with all this?” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he raises an eyebrow at the younger male. “What’s ‘this’ exactly, ‘Guk?”

“Y’know, her living here and you camming all of a sudden, among everything else really… And the question if you’re in love with her which, by the way, we still all know that you are.”

A blush coats Seungcheol’s skin, fingertips almost losing grip of the camera he was about to mount to the desktop. “Listen, yes, okay, I do… like her a lot. But she’s going through a lot right now too and I don’t want to freak her out either. There’s a lot of life changes we’re going through so I’m just going to ...wait.”

“You’re a good man, hyung.”

“Hi everyone!”

You wave to the camera, winking and blowing a kiss to the camera propped up between the two monitors on the table. “I know, this setup is a little wild and not my normal but this is part two of my collaboration with Golden Closet Gaming! Do you want to introduce yourself to those who missed our other stream?” You turn to Jeongguk who nods; this time a little nervous as he stares directly into the camera.

He’d said he was okay with being filmed since he wasn’t actually part of any sexual acts, but he still found himself a little camerashy now that the two of you were live.

Seungcheol sat directly behind the monitors and cameras; his phone open to your cam show to watch from a different angle.

“Ah, hello! I’m JK of Golden Closet Gaming! I’m a friend of Cherry’s and no we won’t be fuckin’.” Jeongguk ends with an innocent smile that has you holding back your laughter.

therealchan99: i dont think dom.cheol would like that very much anyway

universe_WZ has donated $100

universe_WZ: unless he’s into watching

dom.cheol: no

alphagyu97: oh shit hes back

angelhan: huh, so hes not there?

“Oh, he is! He’s behind the camera~” You gesture beyond the camera to where Seungcheol sits and he leans over to quickly wave upside down in front of the camera to prove his existence.

j__min: ah, of course~ we know your daddy would never let you play with anyone else~

j__min: he likes you too much ;)

emerald.tae: oh? also hi new watcher!!!

emerald.tae: ur videos were great!!

emerald.tae has donated $200

therealchan99: im gonna need to start fighting ppl for ur attention i swear

gentleman_josh95: implying u had it

chwenon: yooooooo lmao

“You guuuuys, be nice! Just for that, I’m gonna be sending you a special private pic, okay ‘therealchan99’? You guys pick on him too much!” You pout.

therealchan99: hahaahhAHhhahaHAAHAA FUCKIN LOSERS SUCK ON THAT

tangerine_kwan: bruh

chwenon: damn guess we should can it

You respond to a few more comments as Jeongguk sits by and watches the way you interact with your viewers. He also takes note that you had a donation minimum before you started actually doing anything on your channel and that you’d already hit it pretty quickly.

“Okay! I think we should start now, huh? Oh, I should explain what’s going on!” You giggle cutely, settling into your space on the bed. “So JK and I will be playing this stilt man game! We have to get our character to the finish line without falling or the level restarts! JK has to get to level 30 and I have to get to level 20 and whoever reaches their goal first, wins!”

“I have a higher level to reach ‘cause our skillsets are different and we all know I’d smoke her if we both had to reach the same level.” Jeongguk grins.

seokGENIE: sure

seokGENIE has donated $69

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $100

“And the reason why ‘dom.cheol’ is behind the camera is because...” You pause, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you stare directly into the lens. “In order to get me to do my best, he’ll be controlling a special toy I’m wearing~ Hehe, if my character falls, he’ll raise the vibration setting each time as punishment and leave it on until I cum…”

“Which we are assuming will be a lot. Unfortunately, no medic on standby.” Jeongguk jokes. Seungcheol rolls his eyes as he laughs from behind the camera.

“We have a safeword, don’t we, sweetheart?” You nod in response, “Mmhmm!”

“Let’s get it!”

It takes all of four stages before your character falls for the first time.

Seungcheol turns the vibrating panties on and you immediately jolt as you try to keep your character upright on screen. “Oh, f-fuck!”

kitty_junjun: uh ohhhh it begins

artist8hao: i don’t think she’s gonna last.. babygirl is so sensitive, she’ll probably cum soon

xcaliburDK: i’m giving it until level 6 before she cums

emerald.tae: oh are we placing bets

“Noooo~ Don’t place bets on me, I’m weak!” You whine; already squirming as the vibrations attack your clit. Seungcheol grins from in front of you as Jeongguk laughs from your side, already on level 7 on his own screen.

You had to admit, it was a little weird for someone else to be in the room with you while Seungcheol basically used a toy on you, but the younger male seemed to not care about it at all. Although, he had already seen most of you and Seungcheol at this point.

Your fingertips are shaky on the keyboard and computer mouse; already fearing the way Seungcheol’s eyes almost become darker the longer you struggle.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is the game too hard?”

“A-ah, n--no, it’s not that b-bad…” Squirming, you grind down a little harder onto the bed just as your character falls on screen and Seungcheol raises the setting to the second highest in the blink of an eye. “Ngh, fuh---fuck!”

“Uh oh~ Should I slow down to let you catch up?” Jeongguk teases.

“N-no, I can beat y-you!”

The donations and comments pour in as you struggle to keep your calm and get your character to the finish line; letting out a sigh of relief as you finally enter the fifth level. You let out a choked sob as you already feel your panties starting to stick to you like a second skin from how wet you were getting and Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.

“You know, you’re technically allowed to cum whenever you want. It’ll just… slow you down, is all.” Grinning, he watches as you look beyond the camera towards him as you pout.

“But I--I wanna win!” You cry; palms clammy as you try to rush through the fifth stage, only for your character to fall almost immediately. “Nooo~”

Seungcheol clicks the vibrator to its highest setting and your body goes rigid as the vibrations wreck your body. You start to grind against the toy as you chase your orgasm and forget about the game almost completely. In a perfect world, Seungcheol would have his cock snug between your walls, but instead you clench around emptiness as you crave his cock.

artist8hao: ah shes already cumming lol

seokGENIE: on level 5? Fuck

universe_WZ: her cute lil cunt cant take it, poor babygirl

seokGENIE has donated $50

emerald.tae has donated $75

alphagyu97: cum baby, u kno u wanna

alphagyu97 has donated $75

A small choked whine is all you can manage before you do cum; eyes clamped shut and fingers wrapped tight around the computer mouse as the waves of pleasure crash down onto your body. Donations and comments flood the side of the screen from a combination of your viewers and Jeongguk’s as they watch your face contort in pleasure.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re really falling behind~ JK is going through the stages so quickly while you’re sitting there cumming~” Seungcheol teases. He licks his lips, simultaneously wishing you were sitting on his cock while you played your game.

That’d have to be for another time, he thinks.

It takes a second for Seungcheol to turn the toy off and your body immediately slumps forward as you catch your breath. “Ngh, d-damn it…” You grimace when you re-adjust yourself and find your panties soaking wet.

“I’m already on level 17, babe. You gotta catch up!”

You can only groan in response, flexing your clammy fingers before you try to focus on your own screen again.

kitty_junjun: oho looks like our princess is focused now

tangerine_kwan: u got this baby

j__min: show ‘em who’s boss, babygirl

You tune out the sounds of the comments and donations as you manage to get yourself to level eight without falling, but level nine proves to be just a little too hard as your character falls and Seungcheol turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting again.

“Be careful, baby. Wouldn’t want to fall behind again would you?”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats as he watches you bite your lip. And for the first time all night, he wishes that Jeongguk would just win and go home so that he could have his own private time with you.

“I’m on level 22 already. D’you think she can even catch up?” Jeongguk teases. He spares you a side glance, taking in your form slumped closer to the table as you try to fight the vibrations.

Your body was already extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and you quickly losing your confidence as you struggled to keep your character upright. If you came even just one more time, there was no way that you’d be able to beat Jeongguk with how quickly he was going through the stages.

therealchan99: she’s cumming just as quickly as JK is getting thru the stages hfdsf

gentleman_josh95: shes so cute when she cums tho

angelhan has donated $50

angelhan: thats the real prize angel

“T-thank you…” You whimper out, fingertips twitching against the keyboard and mouse as you focus your attention to the game to the best of your ability. 

You manage to get to level ten with no more issues just as Jeongguk gets to level 25 and you let out an exasperated sigh as your character falls over again. “Uh oh~ I think I’m gonna win!” Jeongguk cheers; giddiness washing over him as he works to get to the end. 

“Nooo~ That’s n-not, ah, fair!” Whining, you grip the mouse tighter as Seungcheol raises the setting on the toy again, watching as you rub your thighs together at the feeling. 

hoshi_tiger_xx: sadly nothings fair in the gaming world babe

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

dtsug__a has donated $50

dtsug__a: cute for thinkin so tho 

“I don’t th--think I can, hah, c-catch up...” You moan. Your character on screen falls over one more time and all you hear is Seungcheol’s small ‘tsk’ under his breath as he sets the vibrator to the highest setting and leaves it there. 

It doesn’t take long before the vibrations prove to be too much for you and you let go of the keyboard and computer mouse as your hands ball up into fists on top of the table. 

The pleasure washes over you in sharp pin pricks; small whines and whimpers falling from your lips as your eyes completely clamp shut. 

Jeongguk lets out a surprised noise at the way the donations and comments almost make the screen lag and for the first time, his character on screen falls over at his split second loss of focus. 

“Ah, fuh--fuck!” You start to squirm once the pleasure starts to bleed into overstimulation and Seungcheol is quick to respond, “You’re gonna cum one more time as punishment for giving up, sweetheart.” 

alphagyu97: ooo she's in troubleeee

gentleman_josh95: ahhh daddy still has to punish you after all 

seokGENIE: damn is this what this channels abt? this is hot 

artist8hao: babygirl always misbehaves

chwenon: she seems to like it too much 😏

dtsug__a: hooooo shit, thats hot 

“It’s n-not my f-fault, hah, JK is j-just good at g-gaming...” You mumble. 

Jeongguk manages to get to level 30 within the time you sit and grind against the toy; small noises of excitement falling from his lips as he cheers for himself!

“Aww, poor baby. Maybe you’ll focus a bit better next time, hmm?” 

You nod frantically as a small tear slips down your cheek and your lips part in a breathy moan. “God, I--I’m c--cumming!” 

Your body locks up, ears ringing as you cum one more time. Seungcheol wishes he could work you through it; hands massaging your skin as you take your pleasure or thrusting his cock into you as he chased his high with you. 

Instead he watches from across you as your body twitches as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss, licking his lips the entire time with images of what could’ve been dancing behind his eyelids. 

Jeongguk watches as the donations far surpass what the two of you made on his channel; brows disappearing into his poofy head of hair. “Wow, uh, y’all seem to really like it when she gets punished, huh?” He mutters under his breath. 

“Don’t you?” Seungcheol teases. 

“Truuuuue.” 

A garbled moan has both of their attention on you as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit. “Ah, ‘m too sen--sensitive now...” You cry. 

Seungcheol turns the toy off completely as your chest heaves in deep breaths; pouting at the fact he wasn’t able to enter the camera frame to take care of you. 

Jeongguk grimaces slightly at the way your body sways in tiredness next to him, unsure of what to do next now that he’d won. 

“Haha, um, medic?” 

[quanxui]

i might have to go anon for this, but yup

aaa thank you, ate you're my life's saviour lmao. and it's so cool that you have little to no social messaging apps !! i mean, i only hav it bc of sch and fam ig but aside from that ill delete it in a heartbeat. my mother told me it'd be better to have no gadgets at all, or phones to be specific, and it's something im looking forward to do as i age hehe i imagine answering telephone calls or writing silly letters to my olden friends hihi, the idea's so cute tbh

anyway, im conflicted with myself whether im just sensitive or what flkfskd and the person im talking about is in my small circle 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️🧍 at first, my feelings towards them was fine until i hav found their replies a bit hostile and callous, example: edi wow, sml, and more, especially sml after i tell a story huhu, ik they do it bc ofc someone influenced them and it sort of rubbed them into always and automatically reply that, lik a habit/mannerism or defense mechanism idk they're nice but that's how they casually talk, and i don't really lik it bc it is soooo unnecessary, insensitive, and childish. omgh wait, this is a big a toll to discuss about urgsvhj but yes, i feel wonky about it, i hate that we hav our small gc and id get to interact with them daily with the feeling of needing to stay on guard yk?? it's tiring !! ::((

m

omg! first of all, you're not sensitive at all. people have got to stop using those phrases!! especially online because it's more difficult to “hear” someone's tone and things could go wrong. but yeah, you're not being sensitive. i'm sure a big number of people also find those phrases offensive even me!

personally, i'd tell my story to my other friends separately. id interact with the friend as little as possible, sabi nga niya “share mo lang” edi sige wag na i-share yan sa kanya. also if they do that online only, and you guys meet up personally then sure, tell them the story in person. talk to them & interact with them in person! if they're like that in both irl and online, lol leave them out of your stories. leaving them out would or could bring a lot of drama though and it's childish hahahahh

the mature thing to do (i think? cause im not sure about my maturity ahsgajdgdh) would be to talk to them about it. i don't know the character of this person so i can't predict how they'd answer but maybe you can imagine it? and then, depending on that, you tell them through group chat (when they do it) or you privately message them.

“hey friend! i'm not really sure how to tell you this but your use of skl etc. honestly hurts me. i'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or you really don't like my stories but even so, being sarcastic hurts me. if you have any problems with it, maybe tell me? did i do or say something wrong?” something like that i guess?? or when you want to do it in the group chat you could just say, “hey friend that actually hurts, did you really mean it?” and “i'm sorry i don't get if you're being sarcastic or what but it hurts.” not these exact words but something like this?

you could also talk to other friends about it so they'd understand your point of view before you confront the friend. as friends should, i'm sure they'd understand. you could tell them in person too! that feels more heartfelt and better! or thru video call?

this got too long but i really really hope this helps!! or it comforts you in some way? good luck to you and your friends! i hope you & the other friend come to an understanding, friendships are really really nice to have!

as for my online habits... i still have facebook for school, i just didn't download it on my phone & instead go on the computer to open it so that it's separated in some sense? i still don't interact that much though cause i open facebook once or twice a day to check announcements & instead go straight to the Classroom or to my emails. i made good acquaintances through group projects so we could help each other but that's about it. as for relatives, i have a telephone & a cellphone number and my other family members relay the messages or stories told online to me during dinner. or i ask relatives about it when we see each other, if im really curious. they have been bugging me about it but i won't budge. i'd get a flip phone if i could read manga & read emails & watch youtube there but right now i'm satisfied with my old phone!

and i actually have instagram and interact a bit there. my hs friend group has long separated from each other but i talk to some friends there & i like looking at pictures there so it's all good! i also open it on the computer sometimes. sometimes i even chat with some old friends on genshin lmao >.< i do have this cousin who would message my whole family if he had something urgent to tell me. it's so funny walking around the house and having people stop & tell me the same message!

[whosaskingwrites]

The Sound Of Love (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: Um I don't like this one as much as the others but I did my best. It honestly took forever cause I didn't want to write it and I had no idea what song to use but I eventually decided so here we are.

WARNINGS: angst

Date: Saturday November 7th, 2020

Details: 5.3 pages 2,000 words

Theme: Musicalia- The victim will hear a song constantly playing in their head until it drives them insane. The person of affection will only hear the music when they are around the victim.

Angst Masterlist

Clair De Lune

A simple, beautiful piano melody that had been repeating in my head for weeks. There was never a reprieve from the beautifully haunting melody. My mind followed the sound like a moth to a flame and deteriorated the closer it got to the music.

No amount of holding my hands over my ears stopped it. It had become a part of me like the backround music in a video game or movie. However this wasn't a video game or a movie this was real. Every day was the same never a rest I couldn't even sleep some nights.

This was my last week at Karasuno before I was put in the hospital. My mind was too far gone to stay out I couldn't really hear anything anymore to distracted by the music and of course I hummed it on occasion. Everyone in my classes knew I had it...Musicalia but they didn't know who caused it.

Monday

I walked to class with a sigh Yamaguchi was following and as we walked I heard a gentle piano melody that got louder. I spotted a familiar H/c haired girl fast walking past me like she'd done since I pushed her away. Yamaguchi followed my eyesight and the music faded the further away she got "you should apologize you know. This week is her last at Karasuno," I blinked 'her last week?' I thought "Shut up Yamaguchi," I said keeping my emotions off my face "Sorry Tsukki," I continued watching the S/c skinned female rush off down the hall.

Tuesday

I was walking up to the roof ready to reject another girl. Why they felt the need to confess to me of all people id never understand. As I rounded the corner someone ran into me and with a short shriek they fell. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was...Y/n she looked paler than I remembered and eye bags were prevalent on her face. I heard the piano again it was louder than ever.

"Do you need to listen to music that loud?" I asked though it was harsher than intended. Her eyes widened and I held back a frown as I saw she was afraid. "S-sorry," she stood up quickly and ran off down the hall the music fading the further she got and I watched 'why was she afraid of me?' My eyes caught something on the floor which I turned to. Picking it up I realized it was a simple gold bracelet with a dinosaur charm on it.

"This is...," It was the bracelet id given her three years ago on her birthday. It was still in perfect condition looking like it did on the day I'd given it to her and it caused a small smile to pull at my lips as I pocketed the familiar bracelet.

Wednesday

Everytime I spotted the e/c eyed female in the hallway and approached her she would turn and run the music following her. Nobody ever seemed bothered by the piano it was almost like they didn't hear it and Y/n was never wearing headphones when it was playing. "Does she ever stop listening to that song?" I mumbled to myself as she ran away yet again.

"What song?" Yamaguchi asked next to me I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "What do you mean what song? That damn piano music she's always listening to it's annoying," I said and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened "Tsukki...She's not listening to any music...," He stated.

I blinked as I processed what that meant "No ive heard it-," Yamaguchi cut me off before I could continue he had a sad look in his eyes and as he spoke I realized why. "She's got Musicalia Tsukki...," He whispered as he looked at me. "She...She what?" I asked. "She's got Musicalia and if you can hear it that means...," my own eyes widened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh...,"

Thursday

Cornering someone who was avoiding you was much more difficult than you'd think. Everytime I ended up even in the same room as her she ran before I could even get near her. "Yamaguchi," I stated causing him to jump. "Yeah?" He nervously asked. "Can you convince Y/n to meet you on the roof?" I asked. He didn't ask any questions he just nodded mumbling a quiet yeah as the teacher walked in the room.

I stood on the roof looking out towards the gym. I heard footsteps come around the corner and stop before they slowly started backing away. "Can you stop running? I need to talk to you," I said. The footsteps stopped and I turned around. Y/n stood a few feet away nervously shuffling on her feet.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked and she sighed "Preferably never," She answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Never? This could kill you!" I took a step toward her while she took one back "So what?" She spit bitterly rasing her head up to glare. "So what? So everything!" I shouted.

"So everything? You dont even fucking like me! You made that pretty clear last year!" She yelled back. She was referencing an argument that I barely remembered and that she hadn't forgotten. "Do you even know what its like to have your heart crushed in seconds!?" She screamed. "You still should have told me you have Musicalia!" I glared back. 

She just gave me a bitter smile "I suppose my dear this was how it was meant to be," she stretched her arms out as she spoke and tears dripped down her face at a slow pace. "You dying isn't how it's supposed to be!" She only shook her head in response. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the bracelet. "Here...just take this back," I said holding it out. She walked forward and I heard that gentle and haunting music get louder.

She stopped closing my hand around the bracelet and leaning up to press a kiss against my cheek. "Keep it I won't have a use for it much longer," she mumbled before turning and walking off. "Y/n!" She stopped but didn't turn around and I continued speaking. "I love you," she sighed and turned her head. The sunset cast her in an ethereal glow and sparkled off the remaining tears on her face.

She gave a sad, watery smile in response. "No you don't Tsukki. If you did...You would have come back to me a lot sooner," she turned and left I knew she was right but god it hurt to hear her say that. My hand was still tightly closed around the bracelet the metal uncomfortably warm against my skin as she walked away from me.

Friday

She avoided me even more. I never saw her but I heard the music following around on occasion. After yesterday I had looked for the melody finally hearing it long enough to search for it. The results had told me the song was Clair De Lune I should have known. It was Y/n's favorite song though I doubted she liked it now.

I had tried to find her when I heard the music but even if I followed it I never found her. I was walking toward my locker keeping an ear out for that melody. As I opened the locker a f/c envelope fell out as I picked it up I noticed it was sealed with a gold wax stamp. Flipping it over my name was written on the front in flowing cursive. I put it away in my bag before heading to practice.

I flipped the envelope around in my hand staring at it before sighing. I pulled open the envelope and slipped the contents out. The first was a photo of me, Y/n, and Yamaguchi we were standing in the park in the photo. Y/n and Yamaguchi had their arms over eachothers shoulders while I stood in the background glaring towards the camera.

The other thing was a letter that I was hesitant to flip open. I knew the letter was from Y/n but I for the first time felt afraid on what she had to say. Sighing I opened the letter ready to read it.

Dear Kei,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Though That's what happens after fights. You give each other time to calm down and then you come back. Only this time...There is no coming back. You already know I have Musicalia and I'm sure you know I love you. It's weird to write that to someone you know doesn't love you.

Don't lie either. You don't love me the way I love you. You may think you do but if you had we would have been friends again by now. But you were perfectly content with not having me in your life so I know you'll be fine when I'm actually gone.

That's the issue isn't it? I'll be gone soon really, truly...gone. I'm not afraid knowing my death is approaching im...content and at peace with it. My death won't be glorious. I'm not going out with a bang. Or any final inspirational words. I'll go quietly in my sleep hopefully. Sleep however is hard when there's music constantly playing on loop in your head.

When I'm gone Kei...Will you visit me? Tell me about your day or the volleyball team! Yamaguchi told me about the team you should go easier on them. You should also learn from them you know? Anyways if you ever can't make it to me...Play Clair De Lune and I'll go to you! I'll listen to you talk at your place instead of you coming to mine!

I'm sure you know by now that this is my goodbye letter. Don't act so suprised of course I want to say goodbye to you. You're important to me you should know that. I've written this for awhile but I wanted it to be a good final goodbye since its immortalized forever in a letter. If you share this with anyone I'll kill you by the way. Even in death I still have a reputation. Anyway...

Goodbye Kei

I love you

—Y/n L/n

A month had passed since she said goodbye I moved forward even though it hurt to not see her around school. It almost felt like she moved but that imagine was ruined whenever I visited her grave. "Hey Tsukki I didn't know you liked dinosaurs!" I sighed in irritation my eyes flicking towards Kuroo who was pointing at my wrist.

"Wow that's cool!" Bokuto joined in and my eyes drifted to the golden bracelet around my wrist. "It's not mine," I stated drinking my water. "Whos is it?" Akaashi asked and I sighed again. "My friend Y/n’s...She's gone now and I'd rather not talk about it," I said standing up and heading back to the net. None of them said anything more about it and I was grateful for that.

Later that night I closed my eyes and played the song that I had grown very familiar with. It was quiet except for the soft melody playing through my headphones. While my eyes were closed I felt the familiar pressure on my body like someone was laying on my chest. If I listened through my headphones close enough I could almost hear her soft voice humming the song. 

I knew in my brain it was impossible but for now I let my heart believe that it was her. I talked quietly about anything and everything that came to mind. The team was sleeping so I knew I could talk freely most of them slept like they were in a coma. I sighed as I reached the end of my story before I spoke once more.

"I miss you Y/n,"

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

[love-amihan]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS // MIMI'S FAVES

amihan's note: this is just self-indulge i can't get enough of them 😭 i got this random idea wherein i showed my mom + friends the following pictures of my faves and what are their first impressions. i may also include some first meeting w/ my mom scenarios and more of what i think they will interpret them as. modern au of course, happy reading!

lil side note: my friend questioned me after sending all these pics, she was like "mimi u do realize these r lines" but ma'am u don't understand they r attractive lines!

info; aunt is what u call ur close friend's mother. mano is a sign of respect/greeting to elderly wherein you take their hand and bring it to your forehead i honestly don't know how to explain it

✨ jjk masterlist ✨

self insert, it's mimi x her faves!

-gojo satoru

mom said he reminds her of someone from slam dunk because of the art style, kinda brings back memories for her

most likely to be part of a cult

++ will invite u to join (i swear my friends r something)

yandere vibes

as i quote from my friend "cross my fingers, hope to die"

he will get along with my group of friends i swear

ngl, i'm 100% sure that gojo flirted with one of my friend before

gojo and mimi are gonna meet her group of friends for the first time, "shit" he curses under his breath, mimi turns her head to him and slightly tilted her head to the side "what?" gojo takes a deep breath before saying it in one breath "i may or may not have flirted with one of your friends before"

mimi was about to ask him to repeat again when she heard her friend "satoru?!" gojo gave a sheepish smile "heyyyy" he slowly distances himself with mimi afraid of her "oh let me guess, you're one of the victims?" mimi excitedly pipes in while laughing, her friend laughs along with her while shrugging "you think im surprised anymore you hoe?" mimi teased patting gojo's arm

he's the type to join in on our pamper night, i just see it clearly. also my mom tolerating his childishness

mimi and her mom are having one of their pamper night after having a long week, mimi was applying the mask on her face carefully while humming a tune. gojo who just got in their house saw the bond between the two "auntieee~ i want one too!" he whined while pointing at the masks.

"come here sato" mimi's mom coos at him, clearly babying the man. mimi crosses her arms finished with her mask looking at her so-called man with a smile adoring her lips "you know i wonder sometimes if i got myself a man or a child" gojo let out a dramatic gasp "auntie she's bullying me" mimi's mom played along and playfully glare at her, mimi giggles at this "also shut up you love me~" gojo added.

-okkotsu yuta

that guy who laughs at uncertain situations (if u only know what he's really like ✋)

class clown

softboi (yes he is ma'am!)

happy go lucky

lowkey yandere vibes

i feel like my friends already loves him because they were the one who introduced him

mimi and her friends are hanging out at their usual bench chatting away until one of them noticed the small group of guys passing by. "hey!" one of her friend shouted waving her hand before gesturing for them to come over.

they soon arrived where mimi and her friends are, a young boy with a sweet smile caught mimi's eyes. she gulps looking back to her friend who's introducing the group, "and he's yuta" she finishes with her arm around yuta her other hand giving his chest little pats. mimi nod to herself trying not to forget his name.

definitely met my mom before, helping her with her grocery or something. mom took a liking of him because he's kind and polite

yuta knocks on the door nervously chewing his bottom lip, mimi opened the door and smiles at him, the raven head returning it with shaky breath "come in" yuta politely comes in and to his surprise saw a familiar face "oh you're that sweet boy" mimi's mom exclaimed softly smiling as yuta gave his greeting taking her hand bringing it towards his forehead.

"you met before?" mimi chimes in looking at the two "i helped her carry her things since she's having some trouble" yuta explained his nervousness slowly fading away, mimi's mother turns to her daughter "i love him already! you're definitely marrying him" mimi's mother then welcomes yuta to their home with open arms "mom!" mimi shouted in embarrassment. yuta lets out a chuckle, relieved that he was welcomed right away.

-fushiguro megumi

cold type

major daddy vibes (all i can say is megumi's their type-)

cool aura

doesn't give a fuck type of guy

my friends probably heard of him because of me

mimi was walking around the campus together with a friend of hers, they were talking about usual school stuffs. sharing all the stress and pressure they're feeling having to be the leader of their own respective group.

mimi came to a stop when she noticed the quiet preserve guy who's walking towards the elevator hands on his pocket. after pushing the button, he cracks his neck side to side his hand soothing the crook of his neck. "let's go use the elevator" was all she said before dragging her friend.

the three walks inside the elevator without a word, mimi and her friend stayed behind as megumi stands in front of them pushing the button of his classroom's floor. mimi's friend can't help but snicker, mimi pinches her side telling her to stop.

megumi turns and gesture at the floor buttons "which floor?" his low voice making mimi's knees weak in the knees, mimi's friend was having fun seeing her friend malfunction in front of a hot guy. she giggles not wanting to embarrass her more than she did "oh we're in the same floor, it's all good"

mom likes him when i showed his pic! *cough* one of her fave *cough*

got nervous with meeting mom for the first time but soon relaxed with mom's calming and friendly nature, all in all mom still likes him

-inumaki toge

crazy type of guy

gives off the always sleeping guy

playful type

"oh wow its hot in here" seductively lowers his collars

daddy- (i- ma'am-)

bad boy!!

serious

mom said rock 'n roll but let's forget that

i'm gonna be honest, i feel like he's gonna be part of my friends, my "kapag tropa lang tropa lang rule" (basically translates to: if u're friend just stay as friends rule) will be broken just for him;

toge and mimi was known to be touchy with each other in their group of friends. toge trusts mimi more than the others, he shows this by doing simple things such as leaving his id with her if ever he goes somewhere or do something.

their friends mostly find them leaning in each other's shoulder whenever they are given a break or during their little talks. "you know i saw this new.." their friend started explaining, all of them listening. toge gets into a more comfortable spot leaning his head on mimi's shoulder busy with scrolling on his phone. once in a while showing mimi something funny or interesting.

mom will likely take time to warm up to him. toge will do his best to get on her good side, shows his charms. once he gets mom's approval there's no turning back. he gets treated like he was her own son.

toge smiles at mimi's mother sweetly, "what's your name?" as toge took her hand making mano with her (stop i dunno how to phrase it) "inumaki toge, auntie" mimi's mother let out a soft gasp, "the inumaki toge?" toge looks at the direction where mimi disappeared, a little confused by what's happening. he looks back at mimi's mother about to ask why she knows him.

"mimi won't stop talking about you!" mimi's mother informed as toge's mouth left agape, mimi who happen to get back at the right moment grumble "mom why did you tell him?!" she said through gritted teeth. mimi's mom have a sweet smile on her face faking a surprise.

"oh i wasn't suppose to? oops?" mimi grumbles more standing beside toge who now have a smug look on his face, "you talk about me huh?" he began, mimi gave him a playful shove "shut up."

-ryomen sukuna

DADDY!!

most likely to kill me

intimidating

unique looking

mom really likes him!

thinks his tattoos and aura is cool

if my friends saw a picture of him they will immediately question me

he's a snitch, i hate his snitch ass ugh

mimi's mom did not like sukuna from the picture at all, she doesn't have any problem with people who have tattoo but he got it all over him. we can say that mimi's mom is kinda looking out for the both of them because their relatives are just too traditional and doesn't like the looks of tattoos.

however, sukuna soon got her approval! how you ask? well the mf snitched without knowing. sukuna nudges mimi's side lightly, trying to start conversation "how's the piercing?" mimi's eyes widen looking at sukuna hissing, "kuna no!" mimi whisper yell at him. mimi then felt her mother's glare, "is that why you've been wearing your hair down often?"

sukuna got confused then looks at mimi's mom "care to explain?" he took this as a chance to get on her good side "yeah mimi, care to explain?" mimi looks at her significant other not believing what's happening, mimi looks back and forth between the two 'this mf a snitch' mimi thought.

mimi then explained herself blaming sukuna since he's the one who pushed to get her cartilage piercing "don't blame sukuna, you should have told me" mom defended him, mimi gasp as she looks at sukuna who's smirking at her with the 'i won' face that mimi wanna punch off his face.

a lil bg; i already told my mom b4 that i want cartilage piercing but then she got wary with the news of someone got in a coma after getting it so in the end sadly, she only allowed me to get the lobe piercings.

cover: one piece's baby 5

[mousemilf]

(previous anon) ooh 2 friends have told me theyd always swipe right on ppl they know out of politeness too like you said you've heard before!! ndjfhkshf i had no idea this is a common thing, i thought my friends were bizarre. and like they said it's always somehow understood by both parties that it was just a Friendly Match and the feeling was mutual?? but how can you be so sure. maybe ur just projecting or maybe the other person sensed your intentions and played along but in reality they wanted to fuck u and got their feelings crushed. OR maybe YOu wanted to fuck them but you pretend you didn't even to yourself to avoid feeling rejected.. Also maybe the real life ppl who texted me on tinder like "omggm 🥵🥵🌝🌝 hiiiiii" were lying and just wanted to see how id react and were playing the same ego boost game i was. Everytime i started a convo by flirting i was being 100% honest and had a real crush on the person, but if i wasn't that into them id honestly wait for them to msg first and would play along w whatever the vibe was... i didn't do this for too long but at some point i was confusing myself w my own mindgames. like i didn't know what my real intentions or feelings were anymore. Anyways we're all insane but it's ok it's impossible not to be!!!! And the 1 woman I went out with from my real life matches the attraction was v mutual and it was v v hot so it's not impossible for us crazies to have a genuine good time on tinder. Sorry for the long ask and aah.. i rly hope i haven't freaked u out wrt tinder-dating aaahhh... it's a fucking weird experience but it can be fun too, i wish u the best while u navigate thru the confusing world of online dating !!

i feel like its less awkward to swipe and acknowledge it than not swipe and just... never know whether they swiped? that would drive me insane. you said it though its such a complicated game. honestly the very idea of like self-promoting and branding your persona in a profile like that is pretty sociopathic. and it feels so sick to evaluate people based on so little information! and it only gets worse once the messaging starts. ive found myself having a pretty good time with it because im a total psycho though. honestly im not even really sure what im looking for on there.... i guess its just something to keep me occupied. i like chatting with people... but i dont have much faith in it as a way to make real human connections.

anyway thank you for sharing your experience with it <3

[ermbabyel]

hi hi hi !! may i please request a personality ship with bts and ateez !! i apologize in advance bc it's super long </3

I’m a 5’9.5 (basically 5’10) girl with dark skin, jet black hair (currently in long twists rn!!), and i’m on the curvier side (esp hips and my thighs) !! some of my favorite features are my plump lips (and i have a beauty mark on my bottom lip!), my long legs (that look so so so so good in skirts and dresses), my kempt and pretty fingernails, and my eyelashes !!! i’m a virgo (and surprisingly i get along with all the signs, i cant think of a sole zodiac sign i DONT mix well with), and i am an i/enfj (i got 51% extravert 49% intra the first time, then 50% for both the second time!! ) and i honestly agree—i’m an ambivert all the way! i often come off as cold/shy when meeting new people (one of my closest friends avoided me for a month before meeting me because i looked so intimidating LMAO), but once you get close to me i turn into a bundle of warmth and love: i will never stop texting them the <3 emoji every morning or buying my friends/s/o their favorite starbucks order when they need a little cheer-me-up.

  i’m extremely passionate about the issues and people i care about and the goals and dreams i have. I’m creative, patient, an extremely good listener, caring, a social butterfly, and extremely hardworking. my friends always told me of my heart of gold and how perceptive i am of the people around me—noticing immediately when something is wrong and trying to make them feel better. I’m also very headstrong, detailed, and determined!! my friends also call me a nerd since i’ve had all a’s since kindergarten—i LOVE school and would describe myself as intelligent. i really like that i’m empathetic and motivational to those around me. it’s really easy for me to show my affection, adoration, and support for someone because i just want everyone to feel loved and safe :( i HATE seeing my loved ones sad, and when people usually have problems about anything (from family to just school), i’m the one they come to talk to because of my warm and openminded heart. I love sharing happiness with my friends in their goals and always hype them up no matter what, and it makes me so so so so happy seeing my loved ones content. im also really, really funny (my fave personality trait of mine tbh)!! I’m always cracking jokes and laughing (sometimes for no reason LMAOO). i would be in the library at like 7 am with my friends and struggle with stifling my laugh from jokes i told </3

  I also love to go out and explore—whether trying out a new restaurant in the city or a newly opened amusement park or trying something new, like skydiving (or some other crazy but fun idea), trying recipes from around the world, or trying sledding for the first time! at the same time, i like really chill, mellow spending-time-alone-or-with-one-other-person activities like baking (my favorite treat to bake is red velvet cupcakes and cheddar bay biscuits) and dancing !! (i’ve been a dancer for more than 12 years!!). i can also speak more than 5 languages (including korean!) and i’m always saying random phrases (like thank you, i love u so much!, gtfo my face, that sucks ass) in a random language too LMFAOOO. i often think being a coffee/cafe lover is a personality trait (i love love love love love coffee) i also love accessories (earrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, rings, etc) and would die of happiness when the day i can wear matching accessories with my s/o comes.

besides being my bestfriend who i can kiss and whatnot (hehe), my ideal type is a TALL (THEY DONT HAVE TO BE but 5’9+...i’m already tall but pls .5 of an inch taller would be enough) man who has eyes for me and only me !!! they may look cold/cool/mysterious/laid back at first glance (like “i dont like u lol” or “yeah haha 🙂" to any other girls but “hi baby what can i do for u today to please the loml” with me <3)  but turn into the sweetest, warmest, cutest honey bun once i get to know them! (kinda like me)!! ALSO a man who can pull off all black outfits like those are my FAVORITE omg. he needs to have a BIG sense of humor (like i want to laugh every second i’m with him and laugh so hard that our stomachs start hurting and we beg each other to stop making jokes type of humor), fashionable (so i can learn fashion pls and wear coordinated outfits with him). i just want a boy who i could talk to and listen to for HOURS. like i would follow him into the bathroom as he showers and sit on the toilet and just listen to him talk about his day or vent to him, but also a boy that loves comfortable silence!! like just cuddling with each other or im studying, and hes working on a personal project so that just being with him makes me feel warm <3 i want a s/o who’s willing to go out and travel with me so i could take off guard pics of him and make him my wallpaper until he begs me to change it. im also not good at conflict so if conflict arises, id love a boy who knows how to talk me down and open up the room for conversation and make me feel safe and not as if im confronted or wrong, someone where we can just talk, resolve our problem, and make it up with a hug or night out!! this kinda leads to me wanting a relationship where we both help improve each other and our flaws (for example some of my flaws are callousness, taking things to heart sometimes, and not opening up easily, etc), so i’d really appreciate a relationship where my partner and i can help each other grow as people. i also love love love to cook, so i’d love an s/o that loves cooking with me and teaching each other how to cook each other’s cultural foods (i would love to teach my bf how to cook jollof rice and have a cookoff one day). I like ALL 5 of the love languages but my top 3 tied for 1st are quality time (THIS i want to spend everyday with my bf at chinatown or a new city exploring), words of affirmation (someone who reaffirms me of their love continuously, supportively, and in sweet ways), and acts of service (cooking my favorite food when i’m down, doing chores that i cant do when tired). men who are really expressive through touch are also ideal <3 i'd shy away from pda, but inside the house i’d be so happy yet so shy and flustered when they express their love through touch (like laying in my lap so i can play with their hair, holding my hand while watching tv, cuddling while talking about whatever). OR like the SLIGHTEST compliment or act of love (LIKE BACKHUGS OR HOLDING HANDS OR KISSING MY BEAUTY MARKS OR FOREHEAD KISSESJSJSJSJ). i love a man who's goal oriented, know what he wants, and makes the move first (kinda like taking control of the relationship!!) in all, i’d just love to be really appreciated and loved and also show the same love, support, warmth, closeness, and happiness to my bf <3 tysm <333

Hi hi~! You sound like such a sweetheart and so cute 😍💕 I’ll be super happy to ship you~!

Bts

Yoongi 🥳

I thought of Yoongi right away while reading your submission. You sound like such a sweet and supportive person that I think Yoongi would benefit from being in a relationship with you. You also remind me a lot of hobi when I was reading your description so I think you two would be best friends too~! Yoongi would be intrigued by your appearance, your intimidating aura around you would make him want to know you more. Surely there’s more than meets the eye...and Yoongi was correct. After getting to know you more. He soon learned how such a happy and sweet person you are. He would love the duality of you. It’s keeps him on his toes and yearns to learn more o about you~! Yoongi is a very passionate person as well, especially with his career and his members. And I’m sure he’d be passionate with you too, but he’ll show you in his own little ways. For example, writing songs about you for bts’ new comeback, getting you your favorite foods and drinks when you both have had a long day...he just loves you so much. I can see you, and sope being the three musketeers of bts, you three would do SO much together. Yoongi can be a silly and goofy person as we’ve seen, but only certain people can drawl that aspect out of him, so you and hobi would do SOO well at making him feel comfortable to let loose and have fun~! I can see you and hobi goofing around at the studio with each other and Yoongi would shake his head and act unimpressed, but we all see right through him and he truly adores you in that state~! Yoongi would also think it’s super adorable how flustered and shy you get when he gets touchy with you 👀💜. Just a very cute and wholesome relationship~! 🥰

Ateez

Seonghwa 🥳

You love when your partner takes control? You don’t need to tell Seonghwa twice! The boy would LOVE to take care of you and take the lead in the relationship. I think he’s also naturally dominate, so it would be no problem for him~! I can see you two going on cute coffee dates to local cafè shops close by. Seonghwa would absolutely adore how excited you are about coffee~! He would also think it’s hella attractive that you’re a dancer 👀. He LOOOOVES to watch you dance for himself maybe he would create a dance for only you two to perform. Your legs and lips are how absolute favorite physical traits of yours. Seonghwa would always have a hand on your leg or knee whenever you guys are sitting down. And if you’d let him, Seonghwa would kiss you all day long~! He just loves the feeling of your soft lips against his 💜. Seonghwa also adores how happy and cheerful you are. Especially on hard long days full of practices and performances, your cheerful and loving nature always makes him feel better and soooo much more relaxed. I can see both of you mothering the other members too~! He appreciates you taking care of him at times, but he’s also take opportunities to take care of you too~! Overall a very sweet and loving relationship~! ❤️‍🔥

Again, I am very sorry for the long ass wait 🥺. I hope you enjoy your ships love~! Stay happy and healthy~! 🤗💜

[vlogsquadssquad]

Secure 2

summary: Charlie confesses his feelings and reader has to decide if that's what she wants, or if another guy has her *attention*

a/n: i’m honestly BLOWN away at part 1′s feedback. y'all really loved it so Ive been working on this all day, I hope its everything youve been waiting for! thank you to my new followers, ive been writing for a bit for fun and no one was reading my stories but after the reaction for the last story I was so motivated to write. I have A LOT more ideas and even an idea for a part 3 with smut and maybe even reader having to tell the boy she didn't choose the bad news, who knooowwsss. send me in suggestions! 

warnings: language, alluding to smut at the end.

mood board:

-- YOUR POV

my life has been the most fun lately. ive been hanging out with David and he really gets me to let loose. he's always trying to top his last video which is so fun to be a part of. even if we wait around the house all day. tonight im alone though. I told him I needed to get some writing down for the last song of my album. I want it to be about being happy with yourself and secure with who you are. that you don't need another person to define who you are. but im having trouble putting that into words that rhyme. maybe I should just see what David is up to.

- daveyy (:

hey, I know I said I was busy but my mind is too cluttered and im curious what the vlog squad is up to 😉 >

< hahaa nothing actually. im by myself at the house tonight. really boring. watching movies ive seen dozens of times.

oh no! your friends realize they were too cool for you? >

< probably lmao. what are you up to?

trying to finish this last song but I can't think straight >

hey would you wanna come over? its ok if you're too busy being alone watching 50 first dates lol >

< how'd you know? 😅 id love to. chipotle?

- end texts -

“hey, loser” I say as he walks in with our food and... is that ice cream? “wait, did you get ice cream?” 

“yeah, I got your favorite flavor!” he says with a smile. my heart aches at the kind gesture. “wow your house is so nice” he sets the food on my counter as he glances around. 

“thank you, im really into interior design... and nice houses” i joke as i examine the ice cream David got for me. he chuckles as he gets my food out of the bag and sets it up in my living room. I put on a movie to watch but we end up muting it and just talking instead. our conversations just seem to flow. “what's a memory that stands out to you from your childhood?” I ask him. “there's so many things,” he puts his arm around the back of my couch as we sit sideways to face each other. we finished eating forever ago. “probably just all of high school. I learned so much, from my friends and my teachers. nothing academically, obviously.” he laughs. I smile to him and run my fingers through my hair. he watches my movements and for a moment its quiet.

“I think you're really smart.” I say finally. “I love how you push me, you're always there for me, and you just come up with the best ideas. you're so creative.” 

“wow. what did I do to deserve your kindness?” he asks with a slight laugh.

“I can think of a few things.” our conversation became much lighter after that. after a while we went into my home studio and he helped me write. the night was filled with jokes and endless laughing but also had serious moments too. I shared very personal details about my life. but the best thing of all was that there was no camera in sight. it was just friends being friends. no clickbait. no underlying purpose for the long stay. it was perfect.

-- next day

“hey y/n could I come over and talk?” Charlie asked over the phone.

“sure, I don't have anything planned till tonight.”

“ok be there in 20.”

“what's the sudden emergency?” I ask as he walks in the door.

“there's just something I've been wanting to confess for a really long time and i’m not sure-”

“its ok Charlie, what is it?”

“I think I'm in love with you.”

my heart dropped. Im frozen in time. I don't need a relationship right now and I sure as hell can't lose my friendship with Charlie.

“I don't know what to say...”

“say you love me too!” he moves closer to me “I know you do! you always want to be around me, have me close to you, we talk all night. I know you feel it.”

I look at him with a blank expression.

“I honestly don't. I've never thought of you that way, and I'm really enjoying being single. for once in my life I'm not letting the pressure of having someone on my arm get to me, I don't need this right now, I-”

“what..? y/n. don't do this.”

“I'm not doing anything it's just the truth.” I look to the ground as his eyes fill with tears. “I think you should go.” I say.

-- DAVIDS POV, that night

- y/n/n 😋

you're still coming to my party tonight right? >

< I wouldn't miss it! so proud of you! ❤️

tonight was my party to celebrate my new show. I haven't told the fans yet but this vlog will be my announcement. we start filming for it on Monday and I've never been more excited. its exactly what I've been dreaming of all my life.

the party started to kick off and all my friends slowly started showing up. Charlie was going to perform his unreleased song tonight and everyone was already talking about it. 

“hey have you heard anything from y/n and Charlie? are they dating?” Ilya comes up and whispers to me.

“no man, I haven't heard anything. I was with y/n all night last night and I wasn't exactly begging her to give me details but we did talk for hours about random stuff and she never brought him up or texted anyone. I don't know they might not be.” I say with hope shining through the cracks of my voice.

“I can just ask Charlie?” Ilya offers. he's such a good friend when it matters.

I nod and then head to get something to drink. y/n still wasn't here and I was getting antsy.

just then I hear Natalie let someone in. I peak around the corner and see y/n. she looks drop dead gorgeous. i’ve never seen her dressed up like that. I think she saw right through me and asked if she had something on her face. 

“no, no, I just have never seen you dressed like that. you look great.” I look to the floor. no way she and Charlie aren't an item. they both love music and they're both flawless people. they're a match made in heaven. 

“well, thank you, cowboy.” she says in a funny southern accent. she was so weird. she came in for a hug and she smelled exactly like when I first met her. I put my hand on the small of her back and for a split second I felt her push more into me. 

“so where can I get a drink?” she asked as we pulled apart.

“a drink?” I ask

“yes, i’ve had a bizarre day and I need a drink.”

Im about to ask her what she means when I hear Charlie from behind me 

“hey, babe, you're late.” he says to y/n as he pulls her into a hug. she almost looks uncomfortable. “hey Charles, how are you?” 

“i’m great, i’ve had several drinks and im thinking much clearly-er now”

“I can smell that” she chuckles

I hand her her favorite drink and ask her if she finished the song. after a short conversation Charlie pulls her to the couch where some other friends are doing karaoke. she's basically sitting on his lap and laughing. I grab my camera and record a little outside trying to not think about it.

-- YOUR POV

I honestly think drunk Charlie has forgotten about our conversation from earlier. which i’m relieved because sometimes I just need good ol Charlie and not this new one that was in love with me. sure he's a little touchy but we were always close like that. 

“alright I promised David I would perform an unreleased song tonight. come on I want you to hear it.” he grabs my hand pulls me up. I have a gut feeling I don't want to be here for it.

David set up the mic outside and everyone found a seat. David sat next to me with camera in hand. 

“alright alright” Charlie starts. “hopefully I don't forget the lyrics since i’m a little buzzed.” the audience laughed. “but this song means a lot to me, and I wrote it with someone in mind. someone who has changed my life for the better and made me a better man.”

oh god, please don't say my name 

“y/n. you are everything to me. I wouldn't be able to be who I am today without you.”

everyone looks to me as the music starts. a love song. i place my head in my hands and David nudges me. “you ok?” he whispers.

“can you please get me out of here?” he nods his head and stands up. Charlie is looking down at his guitar lost in his music. I feel bad leaving but how could he not take no as an answer? I follow David out the door and my head is down in shame. he closes the patio door and turns to me. “what is going on? I thought you guys were dating?” 

“oh god, not you too.” I groan. “just please I need to be anywhere but here right now. fast.”

“okay. let’s go.”

we go to his garage and he looks at me. 

“you said fast!” he shrugs as he opens the passenger Ferrari door for me. I laugh with my head thrown back “true. but im going to need a jacket or blanket.”

“here, use mine.” he took off his hoodie and handed it to me. I hopped in the car and we were off.

“anywhere in mind?” he asks as we pull out of the neighborhood.

“nope,” I smile. “im kinda hungry though”

“alright,” he turns the car at the light. “then we’re gonna make this worth our while. I know an overly expensive place with great burgers.” 

I laugh at him as my hair blows in the wind “yes! lets spend all your money!” I lift my arms and scream. David just laughs at me. we speed down the highways. ive never felt so free. 

we finally arrive to the place and get seated.

“so do you wanna tell me why we left my party now?”

“i’m sorry by the way. I didn't mean to drag you from your party but...” I look down and pick at my napkin “Charlie confessed his feelings for me this afternoon.” David looked at me confused. 

“isn't that a good thing?” he asked.

“not if I don't feel the same way.” I sigh and David looks surprised. “I was very clear about my feelings- or lack of. but he had been hitting on me all night and then the song. I know he was drunk but im really worried for my friendship with him.” 

“I can't believe my ears.” he said almost laughing. “you, y/f/n, don't like the guy who seems like he was sent down from the heavens for you?” 

“nope. he just isn't my type I guess, I don't know. I never really thought of him that way and I don't want to.”

“wow, no one will be up to your standards will they?” David laughs as he takes a drink.

“the right guy will be.”

perfect timing. the waitress comes over with our food. we thank her and get eating. he was right. best. burgers. ever! 

I moan as I take another bite.

David looks me up and down with his cheeks full of burger and chuckles. “okay, y/n, calm down. it isn't no Charlie puth.”

I gasp and throw a fry at him playfully, laughing. “no... no it is not!” we both laugh harder. as we finish up David pays despite my best efforts and we head to my house so he can drop me off. the car ride was fun, we listened to all the hits and sang our hearts out. we got tons of funny looks, but nothing mattered. I grabbed his vlog camera he threw to the side and recorded him singing and then popped myself into frame and had the camera aimed at both of us. our hair was crazy and the night was wearing down on us but it didn't matter. we were just happy to be alive. 

as we pulled into my driveway and David put the car in park, I looked to him. “you wanna walk me to my door?” 

“already on it.”

he came around and opened the car door for me and walked me up to my door. 

“thank you for tonight. it was like out of a movie. I really needed it.” I was talking softly now since it was the dead of the night and the only thing heard was the crickets. 

“anytime, y/n.” David also said softly. he kept looking to my lips which made my heart beat faster every time. I know I said I didn't need a guy, but he just looks too good. 

“and congrats on your show, I'm really proud of you.” I step closer. 

“thank you, congrats on staying single another night.” he joked but had his hands gently placed on my forearm. 

“its still early.” I whisper closer to his face now. I can feel his breath and he can feel mine. my heart is going a million beats a minute and the butterflies in my stomach are in a tornado.

“I can't write a song about you, but I can buy you more expensive burgers.”

I laugh leaning my head on his shoulder. “that's all a girl needs anyways.”

he laughs too but gently. I look up at him and his eyes are locked on mine. he places a hand on my cheek and then lower to my neck. I take a sharp breath in and connect our lips. his lips are soft, sweet, and gentle. I pull my arms up around his neck and deepen the kiss. I feel his hands slide down my back to just above my ass. I move my head to the side and open my mouth gently. he knows what to do and opens his mouth too. I feel his tongue dominate my mouth. he retracts and I close my mouth only to bite his bottom lip and then pull away. I let go and we put our foreheads together breathing heavily. 

“I could do that again.” he says.

“wanna come inside?” I whisper, my hands now playing with his hairs at the end of his neck.

“best party ever.” he laughs and I pull him inside. I don't know what im supposed to tell Charlie. the heart wants what it wants?

[oikawa13]

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane. 

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen. 

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a  boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

[all-hail-the-witcher]

2 years ago today i made this blog

and now im going to get sappy about it

“And they wondered how long I could keep it up / While I wondered if I'd ever, if I'd ever get enough / And I did some shit I never should've done  / I would do it over now, I'd do it over

Shout out to the old me and everything you showed me / Glad you didn't listen when the world was trying to slow me / No one could control me, left my lovers lonely / Had to fuck it up before I really got to know me / All of the mistakes I made, I made, I made, I made / Whatever the price I paid, I paid, I paid, I paid / Shout out to the old me and everything you showed me / Had to fuck it up before I let you get to know me”

two years ago I created this blog. It was the summer going into my senior year of high school. I had planned to hold off making a tumblr account until I got to college, but on this particular night I said “fuck it” and made one. I told myself that I was doing it to see if people would read my writing. I hadn’t shared pretty much anything id written with anyone since middle school and at that point I was considering majoring in creative writing. I had just come up with the idea for spies and wanted to share it with people. I wanted to see if the people who told me I was a good writer were right.

and that's all well and true but recently i realized that there was another reason i made this blog: i was lonely. 

the pressure of my senior year of high school made me crack. on paper i was the perfect student, honors societies and aps and college scholarships and all that. but as i trekked from college to college, audition to audition, and did my homework almost exclusively in the backseat of a car, i found myself breaking. to put it mildly, the 17 year old who made this blog was nothing short of an asshole. 

unfortunately as a middle schooler i latched onto a fictional character from the mortal instruments: Jace herondale. Jace is an asshole, a terrible person who uses sarcasm as his defense mechanism and projects his trauma onto others. he doesn’t care who he hurts. he doesn’t let himself get close to people because he’s afraid he’s going to hurt them. throughout the series he eventually fixes himself and learns from his mistakes, but I didn’t want that Jace, I wanted book 1 Jace.

he tells this story in the beginning and he ends it with this line that has always stuck with me: “the boy never cried again and he never forgot what he’d learned: that to live is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed”

as my senior year went on i found myself becoming more and more like jace. i pushed people away, stopped talking to pretty much all my friends, and developed an aversion to using the word love. literally. i didn't particularly care who i took down with me or who i hurt in the process because i would be leaving for college and wouldn't have to see anyone ever again. real sound logic that was.

but i still had this blog, this stupid blog that i was never supposed to make. I had the fear of strangers on the internet burned into me as a kid, so I was very very hesitant to do much of anything on this blog except post fan fiction. but as I got more into the fandom, I broke that promise and I started talking to people. all kinds of people, in messages in asks in threads, it didn’t matter. and it made me happy, or as close to happy as i got. i loved talking to people on here, fic planning, posting about dumb shit, writing crack fics, just having fun. and then my blog started getting really big really quickly (something I never have and still don’t understand. what’s so cool about this dump of a blog? please someone tell me) and i found myself wanting to be a better version of myself online.  I know it didn’t happen that way all the time. there were many times were I was rude or sarcastic or attention seeking or just a bitch in general on here. but this blog made me want to be better. I wanted to be the person people who followed me thought I was.

at points, this blog was all I had. it was weird, knowing there were people who followed me cared about me, even though I had never met any of them. and that strange feeling of wanting to keep going for my blog held me together for a long time. 

obviously im no longer in high school anymore (and thank fuck for that). but recently I realized that I hadn’t actually changed and I was still the same shitty person I had become during the last year of high school, I’d just gotten better at hiding it. i didn't know who i was or who i wanted to be. it was daunting to begin to fix all my many mistakes irl so i started with this blog, making subtle changes on here, allowing myself to be more open, not as short with people, trying to avoid sarcasm all together. and once i was able to do that, it bled over into my real life. 

its been a few months of that, and i think im finally starting to like myself as a person again. I feel like I’ve changed. I’m more comfortable with myself. I’m not as much of a bitch anymore. I’m not the person I was before, but I don’t want to be that person. I’ve found pieces of my old self along this journey, but I’ve also found pieces of my new self. for the first time in a really long time, I’m happy. none of that would have happened without this damn blog. 

I never expected for this blog to become what it is. firstly, I never expected to have 856 followers. that’s so many people. what in the h e l l?? I never expected people to read a single fucking thing that I wrote. and people have. and they’ve enjoyed them?? that’s wild to me. 

but mostly, I never expected this blog to slap some sense into my stupid self. I don’t know where I would be without this blog, and I can say that honestly. over the last two years it’s been an escape, it’s given me purpose, and its been a reminder that I can fix myself. its not the only thing thats helped me though this mess, but it’s been one of the major components. I’m not perfect yet, I know that, but I know I’m better than when I started this blog 2 years ago. 

id also like to apologize to anyone on here that i was ever rude to, or hurt with anything i might have said or done. im sorry that the old me didn't understand or care what she was doing. ill do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. 

so thank you to everyone who follows this blog, who’s on my taglist, who’s ever sent me an ask or a dm, and to everyone I ever talked to on here. thank you for reading this mess of a post. it means more to me than you will ever know. i know i hardly ever get sappy on here, but i wanted you all to know what this blog has come to mean to me. I love you all so much. thank you for inspiring me to pick myself back up.

[hildorien]

I am in the minority but I’d love to know more about the pre-noldor elvish edain culture, history, and just life. 

I wanna know more about men in the context of men, I wanna see history through human eyes without the elvish perspective. 

I wanna know the full experiences of all humans in middle earth not the ones the elves interacted with. And if you have to have elves, I wanna hear about what humans thought of elves that isnt ‘oh they are so perfect and amazing and beautiful uwu’, because that’s kind of boring and we can all agree first age elves? on the whole? pretty shitty. (I love em but they have one brain cell to share among them and fuck up on the regular). 

I wanna see Humans who were born into a dumpster fire that is the world of arda, these are a people who didn’t get Orome leading them to heaven on earth, they got Morgoth. These are a people who lived in Morgoth’s land for centuries who probably experienced horror and oppression from basically their species infancy. Unlike the elves of valinor, or even the Sindarin protected by Melian, horror and despair would have not been their abnormal, it would be their everyday.  But they aren’t broken, they survive. They make families, connections, lives in this wasteland. They adapt and change, because I think in some ways that is the race of men’s true advantage over elves. That we don’t have a gap on our ‘greatness’ persay, humanity’s ambitions get’s mutated into greed a lot (I mean numenor is a dumspter fire for a reason) but I think that human ambition is a strength because it means we don’t accept our circumstances. The Edian sure didn’t. 

The edain, the Boerians, the people of haleth, and the hadorians, all marched themselves out of morgoth’s land hoping for something better, with NO GUARANTEE they find anything better.  But they still did it. And while we are here, let’s talk about how the race of men has not guarantee of anything, like elves (and dwarves) kind of know where they end up. They go to Mandos and get reborn, they go to aule, respectively. Men...don’t have that. Men really didn’t get anything (but Morgoth and suffering). They leave this world forever, thats what they know. Thats what they are told. 

But no one knows what the means. (Personally, I think its like a good place situation kind of. Eru is just michael and turin is janet) 

But anyway back to the POINT, (if there ever was one) the edain end up finding beleriand but beleriand isn’t the paradise they wanted. But hey, its not morgoth so let’s celebrate said the beorians before promptly getting found by finrod. And look elves did a lot of good for humans, but I also think there is this really bad dynamic of elves holding all the power and men just being in it for the ride. 

Ive made the joke that the elves of the first age are kind of like the edian’s sugar daddies but it’s kind of true. They give them land and like ‘wisdom’ (whatever the fuck that means) and in return men give them their ever increasing numbers. The Silm is a very elven story we don’t really get a lot of human, but when we do I think it’s pretty interesting. Because the relationship between Elves and Men is really uneven in the first age...and all ages even though in later ages forces of men like numenor at their height could I think easily sweep the floor with the elves of the second age combined. I think culturally Elves give a lot more, like men end up picking up their language, though im one hundred percent sure human languages didn’t die out and never do, humans must have shit talked elves a LOT in taliska (oh yes, that is the name of at least the language spoken by the hadorians and beorians, the people of haleth spoke a different dialect) and I think a lot of humans give more in resources (aka men, power, infantry). I mean personally if I was having at a guess I don’t think (as the latecomers) men got very many places to actually farm and have good land and relied on elvish goods to survive. I think this unevenness kind of spurred this idea that ‘elvishness = superior’, so to make this full circle I think a lot of pre edain culture was lost to make place for diet pepsi version of elf culture that we see human cultures like numenor and gondor have, because that’s better than their orn because elves are SPECIal BETTER AND DON’T DIE LIKE US BROKEN AND FALLEN PEOPLE.  ((screams)) 

Okay let’s talk about the death thing. Human and Mortal and Men all mean the same thing, humans die is not a statement that should be up for debate. But the humans of edain, at least from what we see of Andreth is that this was not how it always was. Humans were once immortal like the elves until they were bad and listened to morgoth and then they became mortal and all sick and ew. 

yeahhhh, I don’t think thats true. I think in-universe its a great myth. I love finrod ah andreth for this reason (also andreth is tolkien’s best female character he ever created and the fact that she’s not in the published silm is why we are in the bad timeline) , but I think humans...always were mortal. 

And thats okay. 

We talked about human ambition above, I think that is fueled by the fact that we all die. We have a timer, so we have to do things now, and that’s not a bad mindset to have. I think it gets humjans into trouble but also, imagine your a human in beleriand, you have children, a family, they might have children someday you want to do what you need to do to make sure THEY have a chance. 

(also lets talk about the fucked up fact that humans are punished for lsitening to morgoth in the first place like im sorry that humans didnt have any other valar looking for them, there was no orome, no fucking chance that they could have met anyone else because no valar came for them only morgoth with his lies so yes humans are bad for listening to the only god like entity that seemed like he wanted to help them, the elves did that too but they had nice gods so they are wise while humans who have illness and sickness and death over their heads listen to a guy with power okay jirt i see your double fuckig stnarad and its STUPID) 

And you can’t wait for that chance, so you leap. I think this is best illustrated by Turin of all people. Turin gets called elvish a lot in looks but in actions, he, like most of his family, are allllllllll human. The bridge in nargothrand even though it’s stupid and ends up horribly kind of reminds me of this. Turin doesn’t have time to wait like Gwindor, and Orodreth, etc do. his people have already been fucking disomated, he’s lost his father, his mother is trapped in enemy territory.  He wants to help. 

Sure it blows up in his face, but yknow...the want to do good is there. 

I think on the whole humans get a bad rep...like they’re called stupid and dumb and ugly by both fandom and in universe elves alike. But I don’t think that’s the case. Humans have a lot more balls and have collectively been through more trauma as a species than I think all of the elves (especially valinorian) elves combined. I think when humans fuck up, whether it be turin or numenor, it’s proof of their incompetence, that their inante (eru-given ability) to have ambition to seek beyond the world they live in for something better for something more is evil and they should be more like the elves, stagnant, already at the height of ‘perfection’, never changing....instead of being humans. Like look at these fools trying to act like than can be GOOD at something, sit down and let these elves be best at everything obviously. How many of you would look at me funny if I said, maybe the race of men was BETTER THAN THE ELVES AT SOMETHING? A lot of you im sure, and someone would have a rebuttle for how I was wrong and how this elf was considered the best. 

(like that post going around how could turin actually be #that pretty to thot his way through all of beleriand? Maybe he just Was like that, sure he may have a little elvish ness but honestly I think that be a funny thing elves say to cover up the fact some elves found a icky human was actually just that fucking hot, because obviously humans could never be that actually hot ever, not to intangle a sindarin mast of a guard, a NOLDORIAN VANYAR-DESSCENT PRINCESS, ect) 

Also just to go back to numenor, ever want an example of why it doesnt work for men to act like elves...look at numenor, early numenor was as elvish as humans could produce....but then they got bored. And then numneor became an empire and everyone eventually had so much of a bad time, eru reshaped the fucking world just to wipe the valar’s ‘humans but better’ ocs off the face of the planet. Like just to stray off topic I personally think men can’t go to valinor 1) because the two trees are actually nuclear, and the whole damn island is chernobyl instant death right there and thats why the valinor elves are like #that (they GLOW for gods shake) 2) the monotonous never changing perfection of valinor while amazing in the short term for humans would eventually drive them crazy. Not to say that the race of men doesn’t like some peace and quite or even humans (like myself) can be obverse to change, even I can admit doing the same thing ever day would drive me crazy. 

This got super rambly, but its been a lot of thoughts Ive been having for a long ass time. Basically, I just want people to talk to me about the atani, edian, race of men, whatever you want to call them. They deserve a lot better and a lot more respect than just playing a supporting role to the elves. 

They didn’t kill all those dragons to be ignored like this. 

[juicewrld]

so guys, we did it, we reached a quarter of a million subscribers, 250,000 subscribers and still growing

the fact that we reached this number in such a short amount of time is just phenomenal i-im just amazed, thank you all so much

for supporting this channel and helping it grow I-I love you guys, you guys are just awesome.

so as you can probably tell this isnt really a montage parody, this is really more like a kind thank you / update video

so in this video im quickly gonna go over two things: firstly advertisements, and more importantly : the future of this channel

and what kind of direction its headed.

okay so firstly, the advertisements. believe it or not but montage parodies are actually a copy right minefield

new content is getting claimed every day. we could use something from.. lets say.. 5 years ago, and tommorow a huge company could come along

and claim that video as theres and we have no control over that. and any video we use that product in could either get

copy right stiked or lose monetizeation, meaning that all the money made from that video would get sent to the company, and not

us. the only real way to counter this is to get advertisements placed on my channel, i mean its a win-win for everyone involved

you know i get a safety net generated for myself and the company gets exposure and you guys, my sub subcribers, sit through a two

second ad that will be as short and painless as possible, so next im gonna talk about the future of this channel, this doesnt mean in anyway that im actually quitting montage parodies, its basically why you subscribed to my channel and i enjoy making them and

theres no reason to quit because im in full time education i have less time to make and upload videos it use to be weekly uploads

and now its pretty much once a month but in my opinion uploading once a month isnt enough id like to upload more than that, i mean, as much as possible

but montage parodies take a long time to make, collecting the resources, coming up with an original idea ya know, all this stuff takes

time and planning and that combined with me being in education means that they take a while to make, a good video that goes into

detail about this is rubber rosses video "future of independant animation on youtube" it is a different theme'd video because I

dont do independant animation, but you can still kind of relate because uploads become more infrequent; channel traffic slows down

this is why i want to make videos that are related to montage parodies, but arent exactly meta montage parodies, like I said before:

im not quitting montage parodies, its basically seen as either you wait for me to upload one video a month or i upload one video a month with a bunch of you know, funny gameplay stuff in between. A great example of this would be counter strike global offensive

but at the end of the day, its all down to you guys, you guys are my subscribers and id love to hear your feed back on what youd like me to do next,

leave a comment below: your thoughts and ideas. Im gonna try to respond to as many comments as I can to this video. I would love to

hear your feedback on what kind of videos youd want to see, any future ideas for the channel. I feel that because your subscribed

to an extent, you're inclined to, you know, share your thoughts and ideas, and have a say on what i should do next, and its really

appeciated guys. and lastly i want to thank you guys, thank you guys for helping this channel grow so quickly, in such a short amount of time

I mean I started doing videos like these just over a year ago and i would have never expected my channel to grow so quickly in such a short amount of time

just from montage parodies its amazing, you know ive been reading the comments and some of them have just been genuinly amazing

ive been told people have depression and they find these videos you know therapeutic and have enjoyed them, and lifted their spirits

and stuff and its just amazing how my videos can do that to people and that really motivates me to do more of these videos, and just thank you all so much

for giving me this opportunity, it really-it really means a lot guys you have no idea, and lastly i want to give a shout out

to all the people who helped make this video whether thats voice overs, animations, stuff like that. firstly we got Harvey Rothman

he designed my youtube profile picture, and has also designed a what the fast intro for my channel, and its just amazing. i love his animation style he is just a really nice guy to talk to, be sure to subscribe to his channel, hes got an upcoming animation

for five nights at freddys "foxy gets hooked", he does music production, hes all around a really good guy, next we got Hitlerspimp

hes just so talent with SFM, he designed the intro for me, its unbelivable how talented he his, be sure to check out his videos, hes just

amazing. and lastly check out creamforce for his sexy voice over he did in the video honestly he does a lot of montage parody esc videos, definintely check him out

his videos are just amazing and he just has a great personality all around. and thats it guys thats all i wanted to explain, thank you all for sitting through this video

and taking all the information in, dont forget to comment down below your thoughts and feelings, id love to hear your feelings on where to take this channel montage parodies are still coming, ive got at least 2 videos in the works right now and will be up very soon. thank you all again for a quarter of a million subscribers im just still amazed that we reached this number in just a short amount of time, thanks guys.

[karak9]

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing