#he's so infinitely cool and smart and funny c:

[slimyenemy]

man imagine looking at Katsura Kotarou and getting mad at ME instead of thinking wow how cute😳

[rainrot4me]

Eyeless Jack General Headcannons

Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jack as a character.

TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw! Mentions of gore

Words: 2.3k

A/N: NSFW is reader with female anatomy.

Basic:

- The definition of nonchalant, doesn’t convey his emotions very well at all so he lets his actions do the talking.

- Even though he may put on a front of being calculated and detailed, everything he does is purely instinctual or off the top of his head. He’s never made great plans or thought further on a problem than he had to, relying solely on time or for everything to work itself out. Ben calls it ‘thuggin it out’. He may seem all cool, calm, and collected- but really, he just doesn’t care.

- Drives a brown 1989 Ford F-250. Found it discarded on some old hunting grounds and spent the next 3 years learning about truck parts just to fix it up. It’s nothing pretty and the A/C doesn’t work half the time, but that doesn't stop the proxies from either stealing it for missions or Jeff cruising it to gas stations.

- Loves his alone time. If ‘Do Not Disturb’ was a living being.

- Incredible sense of smell, a blessing and a curse.

- Even though he doesn’t really feel emotionally tied to anyone or reliant on anyone's attention, he would never pass up a good conversation with Jeff or Toby. Finds their problems interesting (and funny).

- Even though he doesn’t have any eyes, he can still see. How? Who even knows? The demon would describe it as more of a viewing like he can detail everything that’s happening, but he can’t physically see it. Cryptic stuff even he’s too dumb to figure out.

- Despite everything, probably the most upkeep and clean member of the mansion. While eating organs and harvesting them can be messy, he doesn’t like the grime and prefers to clean off as soon as he can. The same goes for his clothes and room/office. Surprisingly tidy.

- Not as smart as he likes to present himself. Sure, he’s a medical student with more experience than anyone in a 50-mile radius, but that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing all of the time. Whenever the proxies roll in with serious injuries, the demon shoots them full of antibiotics, cauterizes the wound, and prays it doesn’t get worse from there. He knows what he’s doing, but that doesn’t mean he knows it’ll work 100% of the time.

- A silent panicker. Will absolutely tear his brain to shreds worrying or fighting with himself, but keep a stone look on his face the entire time. Gauging his emotions is like conversing with a brick wall.

- Dry humor. Absolutely will answer your long, emotional paragraph with a thumbs-up emoji.

- In some sick way, slightly prefers the life he’s living now. It may be grotesque and depressing, but his knowledge of the medical field and human bodies is infinitely more broad than it would’ve been. He quite enjoys the freedom he has now.

- Never happier than when winter is fizzling out and the first signs of spring show up. The warmth, the colors, the vibrancy coming back. He can’t get enough of it. Absolutely will get lost just studying the snow melting from the new flower beds.

- Locked in the basement of the mansion at all times. Only comes out to eat or on the rare occasion he’s assigned a mission. The only place he truly feels comfortable.

- Will get oddly emotional when light reflects on the lake just right or the fog settles on the ridge just perfectly. You’d never guess, but he’s a big poetic bum.

- Purrs. Like a cat. Ears flick around like one too.

- With music, he’s a big lyric listener. The song could sound absolutely terrible, but as long as he resonates with the words, will enjoy it anyway.

- Unorganized organization freak. Everything has a place, even if you don’t know where that place is.

- Seriously underestimates just how overtowering he is. He’s nowhere near Slender’s height, but the demon easily doubles in the average human’s vertical. When he was human he was taller, but never like this. He’s still getting used to it.

- Lanky but quick. Limbs and features are longer, but the muscle index makes up for it. He’s seriously fit, but everything is evenly distributed. Serious muscle definition in his arms and back, though. What he lacks in strength, he makes up in speed and agility.

- Enjoys Radiohead, Cigarettes After Sex, Paramore, and Three Days Grace. Will also never admit it, but really enjoy the Twilight soundtracks.

Dating Him/SFW:

“My pet…” “Little thing…” “Pretty thing…”

- Gift-giving love language. Loves to make you things unexpectedly and watch the surprise on your face. Steals jewelry or clothing from his victims to gift to you.

- It takes a lot for the demon to even consider you a friend let alone a potential love interest. But you best believe once he’s decided he wants you, that’s it. You take precedent, anything and everything else in his life takes a step back and you become the focal point. Heaven help if you ever change your mind about him.

- “My pretty thing… my lovely little pet… all mine…”

- Physically can not get enough of your smell. Whether it be sweet or sour, whatever emotion you dwell in, this demon will bury his nose into the crook of your neck and waste away there. It’s intoxicating to him, like an emotional tie he’s bound to.

- Like to study you. Your movements, your voice, the way you react to certain stimuli. Everything about you and your personality just intrigues him to no end.

- Possessive in the, ‘If they look at you, I’ll kill them’ way, but also is sure enough in himself and you to know he doesn’t need to go that far. Would rather lock you away for only him to see, but respects you too much.

- Has a deep-rooted fear of hurting you, so any fight or disagreement turns him distant. He’ll come back eventually, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be comfortable enough to get all touchy-feely again just yet.

- A lot like Edward from Twilight, he wants to taste you the most. It’s seriously a bad habit to nip at your skin or get lost in your scent because he knows how easy it would be just to take a chunk out of you. Has to be very aware and cautious of himself.

- Even though it took a long time for him to be comfortable enough to take his mask off around you, he still gets wildly conscious about it whenever you’re around. Loves nothing more than when you’re caressing his face or kissing his skin because he knows it's genuine.

- For a cannibal, he’s an insanely good cook. Will only cook for you, however. He says it's out of love, but really he knows deep down he wants to control what you eat so you have good organ health. You best believe he’ll have you hitting those core diet needs.

- Doesn’t sleep often, but when he does it's for long periods. The problem is, he likes to completely swallow you with his body and wrap around you, keeping you there until he eventually wakes up. Really enjoys the body heat you provide. Lowkey a small spoon.

- Slouches to your height.

- His favorite time is after a long day, curling up in a big chair with a book and you in his lap. You cocoon in his arms as he leans back, a blanket draped over the two of you. He’s naturally cold-blooded so he would stay there forever if he could.

- “You smell so good, pet… So good…”

- Talks in short, mumbled sentences. The mansion residents started using you as a translator because he would only say more than 3 words at a time around you.

- Absolutely never cared about how he looked before you. You taught him decent clothing styles and now he rocks the ‘dark academia/soft boy’ aesthetic like a champ.

- Made you your own special corner in his lab just because he couldn’t deal with having to be away while working.

- An intense kisser. It’s never soft pecks but full-on mouth-consuming makeouts. He’s a hungry guy who can only be satisfied if he feels like he’s swallowed enough of your tongue and lips with his own. Your lips and chin are absolutely soaked with slobber afterward.

- Firm believer in carrying you. No matter where or how far, he likes to bridal-style haul you around or have you latch onto his back.

- “I could eat you up. Just kidding… yeah…”

- Goes ridiculously insane when he can see the chubbiness on your thighs or stomach. You sitting down or lying out, you best believe he is fighting every demon internally not to take a massive bite on your skin.

Dating Him/NSFW:

- Again, skin. No better than a man during the dark times when you flash just a little too much leg or abdomen. He’s on you in seconds and clawing your clothes off to see more.

- You will never leave an encounter without cum dripping out of you. Refuses to get off anywhere else but deep inside of one of your holes. Call it a breeding kink but his animalistic tendencies just won’t let him pull out. Grunting and panting against your nape as he slams inside as far as he can to keep you from squirming away

- “You can take it, I know you can… Need you full of me… All of me…”

- A greedy kisser. Grabbing your jaw and fucking his tongues into the warm wetness of your mouth, teasing to just push them further past the tightness of your throat. Even when you squirm and gag, he just pushes them deeper, testing your resolve.

- You reach your breaking point longggg before he does. A couple of orgasms deep and he hasn’t even put his cock in yet, just milking your body for all it’s worth. It may be because he has a high sex drive, but it’s mainly because he gets off best when you’re pliable and numb to his touch. It’s a domination thing.

- A pussy worshiper. Much like his adoration for any organ, he really appreciates all of his knowledge of the female anatomy and how good he is at eating you out. If he can, or if you can take it, he’ll press all three of his tongues deep inside and spread your plush walls to his content. Likes to swap between focusing on your cunt and your clit, but mainly both at once.

- Bite marks galore. Has to be careful with how much blood he draws, but you’ll never get by without at least one good bite mark on your shoulder. Likes to possessively mark you all over just for others to see. Same feeling with claw marks.

- There’s some cognitive switch in his brain that flips when he gets to a certain point of desperation, like after not seeing you for a long period or after a particularly difficult day. It’s like a starved creature hungry and desperate for anything. He’ll ravage your body and mind, fucking you both to pure exhaustion or until he physically can’t cum anymore.

- On that note, ruts. They’re seasonal, usually coming around the first two weeks of spring and fall. He can’t control when they show up, but once started, they usually last 3 to 4 days, each day getting less intense. Since it’s such an animalistic ordeal, he loses all restraint or moral compass on how to treat you. Bites, blood, wounds, and injury are all possible. They’re not intentional, but he physically cannot control his mental or physical, blinded completely by lust. Thank god his sperm isn’t compatible with human anatomy, because that’s the only place he’ll cum.

- “I’m sorry- sorry, pet- Just one more time- just one more- Fuck- I promise-”

- Both ankles wrapped in one claw. Two claws overlapping around your waist. Yeah…

- Starts slow, so achingly slow you want to rut your hips and get him deeper. He likes the feeling of entering you, of spreading your plush cunt around his cock and finding its home deep inside. He’ll get faster eventually, but for now, he just wants to drink up the sights and smells of your desperation. That first gasp gets him every time.

- Mating press or nothing else. If you want to try something new, he’ll happily oblige, but the only way he’s truly happy is if your legs are pushed back to your shoulders and his hips are slamming down into yours. He’ll take the occasional doggy style, but only if his teeth are latched on to the back of your neck and holding you docile.

- Could watch your face come undone all day. Loves to see your eyes roll when you come, or the sweat and tears dripping off your cheeks. The dark flush of your skin gets him so hungry he has to physically restrain himself.

- “You’re so gorgeous- so fuckin’ pretty- Ah- Look at me. C’mon, don’t get shy now…”

- One time, after a particularly messy organ harvest, he couldn’t wait to get to you. He was so livid, body practically shaking with excitement when he snuck into your room that he didn’t even have time to clean himself off. Blood (not yours) stained your sheets and skin, messy claws dragging across your stomach and chest to coat you in dark red, his tongues quick to shoot out and lap at the stuff. You, covered in blood and his mess, sent him spinning. That was the fastest he’s ever came.

- Growling, panting, snarling, huffing, chittering, teeth gnashing, LOUD ASF

- Has a size thing. Comparing your hand to his makes him so horny and eager to just pick you up and fuck you. Admires how small and easy you are to just throw around like a doll.

- Absolutely has had sick fantasies of fucking your organs like a fleshlight. He’d never tell you, but the thought of cutting a slit in your abdomen to push his cock into the tangle of intestines and muscles makes him drool. He can almost imagine how warm it would be.

- Gets a high when you squirt. Feels accomplished to be covered in your juices and having you completely ruined for anyone but him.

- “You can take it for me, yeah? Go ahead and make a mess… It’s alright…”

Thanks for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 𐚁₊⊹

[wasflypaw]

I'm rewatching the clip of dream touring skeppy around the server, cus I'm transcribing if and I'm gonna write a thing abt it later.,

and I think it's funny how he says "we gave them a little bit of land" in regards to lmanburg, but then he says his side has "infinite land and power". and he refers to l'manburg as a "table in his house" (his house being, the entire fucking server I Guess), and he doesnt let them make rules he doesbt approve of.

like, it's so obvious dream feels entitled to the entire server, including lmanburg even though he pretends they're independent, he always has felt entitled to the entire server, and that's always been his main motivation. he wants to be the ruler over one united server again.

he never spiraled, he just took more and more extreme measures to achieve his goals. and I've never thought his goal of "one big happy family" was ever particularly noble because it's so clear that he wants to be the ruler of that family.

man... I love c!dream so much , he's my favorite villain of the smp

-cube

Yeah like.

With his whole table analogy

It's another one of those "it sounds smart but when u look deeper into it ur like.. huh.. wait"

He describes the server as a house right and L'Manberg claiming a table inside said house and not letting anyone use it

But that implies the land they "took" was being lived on and used and it would be inconvenient to the other members of the server for them to take this land.

When in reality it was untouched land in a random forest, And the rest of the server loses absolutely nothing (they dont lose resources or land or friends as a lot of them were Still friends w the L'Manbergians) Not joining them and Not being allowed in there because The World Is Infinite, in fact they're Way better off (PLEASE stop referring to them as xenophobic colonisers MY GOD)

The way he describes it makes it sound like they claimed the Community House or something

It's so cool and frustrating how what he says works on the audience as well. u wanna talk about Unreliable Narrators well *points to c!Dream*

An important thing to note - in the conversation he never talks about them supposedly unfairly villainising him or anything, he never once brings this up as a motive for declaring war, he's Just offended they "took land" from his infinite world

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Nightwing 83 Review

guess who isn't weeks late this time. my opinion of the series is going up a little bit. it's still not great, but i'm not actively put off by it anymore the way i was after 81. not going to tag as spoilers, but be warned that they are under the cut

i’m sure you all are well aware of this but now, but dear god i love bruno redondo’s art. like, an unhealthy amount. the pink and blue is getting to be a theme with either him or just this run, but i am definitely enjoying it. the movement in this cover is clearly obvious, but well done. you recoznize right off the bat that the cover was drawn to drag your eyes down the page until you get to the bottom, but you enjoy the whole ride there. 

also, redondo’s way of drawing a character in stages of action so we can see just how much they’re doing in a split second of movement is quickly becoming something i like to see drawn with dick, and any other character that has that sort of ease of movement and body sense, like cass or sin or maybe a super. 

and he’s in action the entire time! there’s shot drawn just to show off a shirtless comic book character, the way nightwing is so often subjected to. he’s shirtless because he’s changing his clothes, and that’s all we see, no more and no less. very practical, very well done. i like it.

he looks so cute right here oh my god. the little squint, the hair curls. it’s adorable.

but also like. unless melinda has specifically outfitted the door spyhole so that the person on the other side can’t see dick looking through it (and in all honesty she might have) then everyone on the other side can see dick looking through that door. 

bringing your attention back to the “i can’t see melinda’s fbi file oh no!! it’s redacted!! whatever can we do!!” stupidity. redacted files are child’s play for oracle, and definitely doable for both dick and bruce. so that’s bullshit.

now, melinda apparently grew up with the maroni family, then took down part of the family from the inside. the maroni family is a large and notable presence in gotham, one that bruce pays a respectable amount of attention to. he definitely would have grown suspicious when two members of the maroni family were taken down, and with some investigation, he would have discovered melinda’s plan. and it should go without saying that the majority of things you see batman doing? dick can do it too.

it’s not so much that i don’t like how clever the villains/antiheroes are getting. i don’t like how dc heroes are increasingly written as less intelligent. they seem to be relying on pure fighting skills or luck, which may be the case for a couple heroes, but has never been the case for most of dc’s big name heroes, the bat family included. it’s irritating to me to see this sort of stuff pop up as a major plot point when i know that, if dick or bruce had been written with the amount of skill and power that they canonically possess, this entire mess would have been sorted out years ago.

unrelated but dick and melinda have the same hair

this may just be me, but i was always under the impression that dick doesn’t really have a “double life???”

yes, he’s talented enough to create enough differences between robin/nightwing and dick grayson’s mannerisms, way of movement, voices, and speech patterns so that it’s very difficult to put the two together.

but nightwing has never been separate from dick grayson, not the way bruce and batman is. he’s always leaned more towards clark in that aspect: his hero persona is an exaggerated, stately, larger-than-life version of who he really is. there’s no second persona, no real “dick grayson identity” and “nightwing identity.” they’re the same person with the same goals, ideas, and skills. one just pretends to abide by the law, and one gives up pretense of that.

oh good thank god. if he’d trusted her right off the bat (hehe. bat.) i would have slapped him upside the head. at least he’s still got instincts.

gosh the colouring on this is cool. the red has enough purple and pink tones to it that it doesn’t abruptly ruin the tone of the artwork. but it’s definitely glaring enough to take the reader outside of this personal moment they had slipped into between dick and melinda, to put them back in the present where they’re reminded that oh yea there are people hunting dick down. 

the next panel keeps this up too, in a less severe way. melinda’s bodyguard shows up (i forgot her name sorry :[ ) and subtly places us in the middle of an action scene rather than a private, personal scene.

laughing so fucking hard have our little vigilantes grown so accustomed to breaking into places that it doesn’t even register as a crime anymore??? tim coming in through the fire escape to pick bernard up for their date and being very much confused as to why bernard is freaking out.

i really like melinda’s shirt and now despite all the work i have to do and the fucking conference i have to host on monday i want to spend hours scrolling through clothing shops online trying to find this shirt. the mock neck/neckline is so cool i want it

so roland just assumes that a very dangerous vigilante who is highly talented in combat and a very dangerous bodyguard who is also highly talented in combat had a fight that ended with this very dangerous bodyguard being tied up and she looks completely fine? roland just assumes that her having no visible wounds or bruises means that they got into a fight and she lost that easily? uh. aight then

dick what are you doing. legitimately what the fuck are you doing. why are you posing oh my god. you are injured and tired and in absolutely no position to go hand to hand with one of main enemies. jesus christ run away or head to lower ground or something. don’t just stand around letting the floodlights show exactly where you are.

i don’t understand what he’s trying to do here??? blockbuster fully bought the story that dick fought them both, won, tried to get info out of them and failed, then hightailed it out of there. he didn’t have to draw roland out for a fight.

but it does look cool. the way the light just highlights his silhouette and the blue parts of his costume does look badass. he does get style points in my book for this.

w h a t  d i d  i  f u c k i n g  t e l l  y o u ,  d i c k ?

very classic superhero line and it does sound like something dick would say in a fit of righteous rage but also it makes me laugh so hard because all vigilantes think they’re so powerful that the law doesn’t apply to them. dick vigilantism is illegal. you’re acting above the law and pretending it doesn’t apply to you. hypocritical much?

it happens so often in superhero movies, tv shows, comics, whatever and it makes me giggle every damn time.

pretty decent comeback but before i start seeing people writing blockbuster as a thug i’m going to remind you that he made a deal with a demon for genius level intellect. if this turns into another bane situation i’m going to be a little miffed. he’s a smart man, which makes him a dangerous and infinitely more interesting enemy for nightwing.

this is so horribly in character i want to scream. (or. at least. it lines up with one of the versions of nightwing i have in my head.) he’s running right towards the bullets, miraculously doesn’t get shot, while making a sort-of pun. i hate this so much. i love him.

this is cool. this art is really really cool.

he leaped from a building right towards a helicopter that’s actively shooting at him, but none of the bullets are touching him. none of the corruption of the city can touch him no matter how hard it tries, because he’s too good to be corrupted. Comic Book Logic Can Be Good Sometimes Actually.

batman’s belt what??? swiss army knife who?? sorry, i only know nightwing’s bright blue escrima.

this is one of my favourite things about heroes with exceptional abilities, even more so if the hero is human. the things they can do are so far beyond the realm of normal human abilities that it’s equal parts terrifying and awe-inspiring every time they act.

he just used modified grappling wires to hook to the door of a moving helicopter, swung around the helicopter safely without hitting the blades, gained exactly the right momentum to swing upward again right through the opening of helicopter, then fought and tied up the men before they had any idea what was happening. that’s near impossible to do.

it’s stuff like this where i just sort of sigh in contentment. no matter how many times they leave out dick’s detective skills or conveniently forget that he’s actually a master planner and team leader and make him out to be this forgetful dude who makes everything up on the fly because of his “circus roots,” at least they won’t ever take away dick’s sheer physical ability honed to perfection. 

the art, too! in a few panels, dick’s drawn a little lightened or blurred. he’s moving so quickly and fighting so efficiently that he can barely be seen by the enemy. he’s got perfect form all the way through.

and THIS!

there was a helicopter that had five men shooting at him with what looks like machine guns. most people would be dead. some would run away, and be nimble enough to survive without fatal hits. there are very few people, even in fucking comic books, who can look at that hopeless situation and turn it around so quickly and thoroughly that he benefits from it instead.

i just. love nightwing.

it was funny the first time as a comic reader aware of the meme. it’s really not anymore. why the hell would you, in universe, be wearing a shirt that has a picture of your boyfriend being hit in the face by his father. 

okay that was funny. 

look at lil bitewing, so concerned for her human!!! love her sm. 

also a question as to the timeline of things. is nightwing happening before or after urban legends? 

i was so distracted by dick wearing a robe and briefs and nothing else that i didn’t register the second part until later. he slept for two days?? babs, baby, he recently had a very traumatic brain injury. why do you sound so nonchalant?

@TIM X COFFEE SHIPPERS GET FUCCCCKKKKEEDDDDD

ngl i totally forgot about that dude oops

this comic is giving so many reaction pictures. you know how you always use the worst possible picture of your friend for your friend’s contact picture? i’m just getting so many of these.

leslie!!! the titans!!! lucius!!! dick going to go see old friends!!!! the titans!!! this part made me so irrationally happy it really did. gar being the one to just. offer dick solutions with open arms. this was the best

i wish i could just copy and paste this entire scene, but that would take up way too much space, so i’m just going to talk about it instead. 

you gave me my name, nightwing, and you gave me some of the best advice i’ve received in my life: beautiful little throwback to nightwing’s origin. you’d be surprised at the amount of people who don’t know where the name came from, or who don’t know how much clark means to dick. and the fact that dick still looks up to clark as a hero, recognizes that clark isn’t always perfect and yet continues to hold him in such high esteem, and still looks back on advice that clark gave him fondly just warmed my heart so much.

for a man who has fearlessly stood up to darkseid, bruce will do a lot to avoid a conversation: “grrr. i’m the BATMAN. i’m so DARK and MYSTERIOUS. nobody knows the true me. no one ever will. i will be LONELY for the rest of my CURSED LIFE. such is the price of a hero. ignore my farmer himbo husband in the background”

but i don’t think there’s anything heroic about being a billionaire: another nod to how much dick follows clark’s example rather than bruce. yes, this was a very poignant and important criticism, and i think it’s wonderful that this was published in a pretty popular comic book. but the thing is, there is a way to be a heroic billionaire, but only in fictional universes. the way bruce, ollie, t’challa only ever use their wealth to help people. they donate massive amounts of money to charities that they themselves create so they know exactly how the money is being used. they hire people who aren’t likely to get jobs anywhere else and pay them much more than what a base living wage is. they use their power to help push progressive laws and social change. they are helping. 

dick doesn’t fully see it that way. he spent more than half his childhood the son of a billionaire, but still believes that one could be more heroic when one doesn’t have obscene amounts of wealth. whose example do you think he followed to come to that conclusion?

superman looked up to alfred pennyworth?: i mean yea alfred may have been a wildly irresponsible guardian and one hell of an enabler but goddamn if he didn’t love his kid.

you don’t need my input. you’ve thought it all through: ooooooh this line made me grin. for so long, dick’s treated clark as a mentor and a guiding figure. he’s still seen as a kid, an up and coming, snot-nosed titan with dreams of a better world. clark still thinks of him as a kid, despite watching him grow up. but this little line was something i think dick needed sorely to hear. he doesn’t need anyone’s guiding hand on his shoulder, he doesn’t need to ask for permission. he doesn’t need clark to support him the way he did when he was a teenager. he’s all grown up now, and he doesn’t need clark’s help. i imagine it was a bit of a surprise for dick to hear that. 

honestly, i couldn’t think of a better role model: ohhh but it doesn’t stop there. clark just straight up turns the tables on dick. imagine you’re dick, and you’ve looked up to this one hero your entire life, and then one day he turns to you and says that he thinks you’re so kind and smart and worthy of a person that he wants you to mentor his son!? goes to show just how much clark trusts dick.

i swear to god dick probably cries every time he hears clark compliment him because bruce is so rare and sparing with his praise that clark giving him the slightest hint of approval is just a dopamine rush.

also, now deathstroke and superman have both asked nightwing to mentor their kids. the juxtaposition is fuckin hysterical. imagine either of their reactions when they realize what kind of company they’re with

lets talk colours for a second, because i absolutely adore how classic colour tropes have been subverted in this comic, and in this general run really.

warm tones have usually (usually, not always) been associated with light and comfort and friendship and,,,,,well,,,warmth. whereas cool tones are usually used to unsettle, or make a scene seem colder and put the reader on edge. this varies if a comic only uses cool tones, or only uses warm tones, but if a comic uses both, this is generally well-used.

that isn’t the case in this run.

dark red, orange, and other warm tones have been used to symbolize danger, action, attacks. hot pink isn’t usually included in this colour group, but it’s definitely part of it in this case. in contrast, scenes that have cool colours give us the impression of slipping into a comfortable, calm scene with babs, tim, the titans, and other allies. even the beginning scene with superman has this blue, but then it transitions into something more golden coloured. dawn broke over dick, as his new idea came to light, and that was reflected in the art (and the sunrise setting.)

have there ever been times when dick’s longed for the comfort of his mask because he didn’t feel confident as dick grayson? i can’t think of any. i may be wrong, but this struck me as pretty ooc.

am i just??? gay and reading this all wrong??

cause i was under the impression that when someone says they are grateful for your friendship you don’t immediately kiss them. 

or is this like. normal straight mating rituals.

i mean he’s smiling afterward but still babs aren’t you supposed to at least make sure it’s okay first? you guys broke up a while back after you said something along the lines of “i want to be coworkers with you and nothing more because i don’t trust you or feel comfortable around you as a civilian anymore.” like lmao after you say something like that to someone i would assume that you don’t have the permission to just kiss them whenever you want.

show of hands who else got real sad when they realized dick was talking about himself in this.

sure, he could be referencing the things he’s seen blockbuster pull, and the children on the streets. but “i’ve seen money used for enforcement,” sounds a little too close to dick’s entire life being destroyed by one man threatening the circus to pay protection money for me to completely ignore. and “i’ve seen the poorest and most vulnerable blamed and punished rather than assisted” becomes a lot worse when you remember dick was thrown in juvie for a couple months until bruce was able to obtain legal guardianship, and in there, not a authority figure believed him when he told them his parents were murdered.

he’s lived this before.

a. mother. fucking. typo.

fucking why

i mean i’ve stated my distaste for the batfamily groupchat before but like. this is reaching new levels of ridiculousness. jason sounds like he was written by a fanfic writer. tim sounds like he was written by a fanfic writer. steph sounds like she was written by someone who doesn’t know the first thing about steph and wanted to include her for “family points!!!!!” damian’s supposed to be completely off the grid, and everyone’s searching for him. i do love the way cass texts tho.

well god fuck now i’m crying

dick got a phone call, a sorry, and a thank you out of bruce. i feel so much secondhand happiness for him, if that’s a thing. we’ll just ignore the way bruce looks ugly af and focus on the good parts okay?

and again with the colour symbolism here!

i’m either going to love this or hate this. who knows, we’ll see.

something something hearts something something pink is an evil colour something something. i need to know more about this guy but there’s definitely symbolism there. 

is it just me or does this dude look like the backstabbing traitorous absolutely motherfucking piece of shit villain that killed tadashi hamada in big hero 6?

~~

taggggg list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan  @subtleappreciation @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption​ @capricorn-stark​ @batshit-birds​ @comics-observer @buticaaba​ 

[lessons-from-moths]

Day 10

30 day writing challenge

Day 10: write about your best friend

this one is long and a bit rambling, but also my favorite of all the days.

i really don’t like the term “best friend.” i have the tendency to make deep and lasting connections with the people i meet in my life, so i have about 5 people who i hold dear that i’d love to write about for my own record.

~E. every minute I spend with E feels like a warm hug. every second that moves by passes in a haze of smiles and comfort, and when he pulls away i feel myself grasping to keep him closer, to wrap him back in my arms. there is no better friend than one that reminds you of your youth and innocence, and that’s what E does. he greets me with unmatched exuberance. he takes me on adventures without going anywhere. it’s renewing, to be around E. he’s like springtime, and cool rain showers on a warm morning, and freshly cut grass. and a nice, warm, hug. 

~A. if you’ve ever met a shooting star, you’ve met A. she’s mesmerizing. her kindness is as infinite as the galaxy: she remembers everything that matters and everything that doesn’t. her smile rivals the brightest of suns and makes you wonder why the planets don’t revolve around her. my favorite thing to do is watch her smile morph to match her love for the receiver. A’s fierceness is a true fire. others might see her as intense, but it isn’t that at all. it’s pure love and drive for what she wants. she sees herself as an asteroid, breaking things apart and destroying peaceful galaxies on cool nights. but we see her for what she truly is; a blazing comet that brings us all together as we watch her dazzle the sky. 

~C. C is the foundation of a great big house. he manages to hold up the entirety of the materials without complaint. he’s the friend who will do everything for you and ask for nothing in return. he gives so much -- too much -- and even when his solidly laid walls begin to crack, he fortifies the, with pure guts. no one has more guts than C. he’s the friend that stays up until 3am with you just to make sure you’re okay. he’s lighthearted and serious and funny and quirky and the perfect person to be around no matter your mood. he’s the foundation to every legendary night, every fulfilling meal, every safe return. being with C is like being home, safe in a scary world. we don’t deserve such a strong foundation, but C doesn’t care. he’ll give it anyways. 

~S. he remind me of a solid oak, maybe not as wise, but a strong figure in the lives of those who know him. he’s as calm as he is wild, soft as he is strong. he’s talented and smart and earnest and understated. his eyebrows crinkle when he’s trying to be serious. he points out your secret insecurities just to tell you how they are his favorite things about you. his hugs feel like branches that reach towards the sunny sky. he wraps around you like an old oak’s roots wrap around an underground boulder, refusing to cease his grip until you’re rightfully comforted. his love is transferred through his ever-reaching grip, and you feel safe when you’re shaded by his easy love. 

~M. i really don’t know how to describe my love for M. she’s been my friend for a decade. i suppose she’s the one who taught me what a best friend is. she taught me the importance of being myself in a world that tries to force you to be normal. she encouraged my creativeness, learned ASL with me, and educated me on movies. her parents act as my parents, just as my parents act as hers. her sister is the older sister i never had, and my sister is the younger sister she never had. i guess she kind of is my best friend, in the same way that your heart is apart of you. without her i would be incomplete, unable to function. her celebrations and sorrows are mine, and mine hers. and though she is far, i know we’ll see each other again someday soon, because M is my heart and my home. and i can’t be separated from her for too long.

[evenstevensranked]

#9: Season 3, Episode 22 - “Leavin’ Stevens”

It’s the series finale!! Eileen is projected the winner of a major election for Congress, which means the Stevens family will be moving to Washington D.C. immediately. Pretty big deal. Our beloved characters must say goodbye to each other forever, but Louis can’t bring himself to move across the country without telling Tawny how he really feels about her. 

Let’s talk about why this cinematic plotline would’ve made an infinitely better DCOM than The Even Stevens Movie. 

This one opens with the Stevens family huddled together in the living room, anxiously awaiting the results of Eileen’s election. Riiiiight as the news reporter is about to announce the winner, Beans appears out of nowhere, grabs the remote and changes the channel to... Toon Disney?! They show a legit clip of Teamo Supremo (remember that show?! LOL) instead of some fake cartoon or something which is kinda cool. Granted, it’s a Disney cartoon, so they had the right to use it no problem -- but still! That show premiered in 2002 so I’m sure they threw that clip in there to promote it somehow. Otherwise, it’s just sorta funny to think Toon Disney and ABC (Disney Channel sister stations) exist in the Even Stevens-verse. 

Beans, being the nuisance that he is, throws the remote into a skinny vase thing so Ren is forced to ~magically~ change the channel back manually. 

Remember when you could change the channel with buttons on the actual TV? Good times. If you lose the remote these days, you’re pretty much screwed. 

Thankfully, they turn back in time to catch the results: EILEEN WON! It cuts to her giving a little press conference outside where she announces that the entire family will be moving to Washington D.C. immediately so that she can get to work right away. This is insane news to Louis since he apparently had no idea that Congress was in Washington or that the whole family would need to move there if Eileen were to win. 

It cuts to a very depressed Louis at school cleaning out his locker. Tom and Twitty are with him and Twitty is seemingly in denial about the whole situation, explaining that nothing’s going to change and that a few 14-year-olds can hop a flight to D.C., hang out with Louis and be home by dinner time easy peasy! Tom brings them back to reality by calling them “poor delusional fools” and it’s great. Tawny shows up and it’s time for “Romeo to bid farewell to his Juliet” (Tom’s words.) Oh, man. The rom-com drama kicks in here and I can’t get enough of it. 

I’m guessing that this moment is the actual very last time they’re ever going to see each other?!?! So, the two of them are incredibly freaking awkward trying to say their goodbyes. I mean, how do you say goodbye forever to one of your best friends who is also obviously your crush in, like.. 30 seconds? They’re stammering and dancing around the idea of simply saying “I’m gonna miss you!” So, what do they do? They end up completely avoiding the situation by talking about how they’re going to miss the school cafe’s chili fries instead of each other. Clearly, that is not the last thing either of them wanted to say. As frustrating as this scene is, it’s pretty hilarious. Louis is all “I’m really gonna miss... y.......ahh... c..hili.... fries on Wednesday!” and Tawny just awkwardly goes along with it, “Yeah. I love those... They’re great.” HAHAHA. They proceed to engage in what’s gotta be up there as one of the most uncomfortable hugs of all time:

One thing this show consistently nails is middle school awkwardness. Louis & Tawny are lightyears ahead of me and my old crush though. He was moving to Deleware at the end of 8th grade and we didn’t even say goodbye to each other at ALL at graduation, omg. We just avoided each other entirely. The worst part is that we were side-by-side PARTNERS for the graduation march and we didn’t even speak to each other. The level of immaturity and awkwardness is unparalleled.... 

It cuts to Ren talking with Ruby and Monique who are also getting emotional over Ren’s impending departure. (“What are we gonna do without her?!”) Basically, the two of them are completely incapable of organizing their own lives and need Ren’s constant guidance. One of their biggest concerns is that the three of them previously waited 6 hours in line for Peachbox tickets and now they can’t go to the concert together. First of all.... WHAT OR WHO THE HECK IS PEACHBOX? For some reason, I’ve always imagined a knockoff Matchbox Twenty band simply because of the “box” connection lol. Buuuut, I’m gonna guess that it’s just a music festival or something. It’s not important in the grand scheme of things here.

We see Louis and Twitty walking home from school together and it’s a very somber stroll. Twitty says “I know you’re not the most romantic guy in the world (I BEG TO DIFFER, TWITTY!!!) but, do you really want the last thing you talk about with Tawny to be chili fries?” Obviously, Louis says no, but its too late! There’s nothing he can do at this point! Twitty dramatically says “No, it’s never too late...” and just WALKS AWAY!!!! Did he leave Louis in the dust?! Was that the last thing they said to each other?! What?! Did Louis and Twitty’s epic friendship just... end on a cryptic note for dramatic effect? Why am I just realizing this?

I’m laughing at the idea of this being their final exchange. “It’s never too late. Peace out, cub scout.”

Twitty’s dramatic last words kick Louis into rom-com leading man overdrive. As soon as he gets home, he sits down and starts recording a videotape for Tawny so that he can say everything he wasn’t able to in person. (See cover photo.) Oh, my lord. This is incredible. He starts off by saying that he’ll already be 2,797 miles away (he looked it up) in Washington by the time she sees the tape. “I didn’t want the last thing we talked about to be chili fries. So that’s why I’m doing this -- this tape, ya know? To tell you how I really feel...” And Shia is already hitting it outta the god damn park with his acting. The scene cuts after that, so we don’t get to hear the rest. Gotta keep us on our toes!

Louis meets up with Tom later and gives him the tape, instructing -- or rather, threatening -- him to personally deliver it to Tawny... OR ELSE. 

“Tom, I’m entrusting you with this tape. Okay? So, if anybody else -- besides Tawny -- gets their hands on this... I will personally track you down and make you pay. You hear what I’m saying?”

There’s a little subplot with Donnie and Coach Tugnut, as well. Every character’s plot in this episode revolves around the Stevens family moving, which is kinda cool. We get to see how the potential change affects all of them! Coach Tugnut was planning on training Donnie for the Olympics, so he nearly has a heart attack when he finds out he’s moving. Steve decides to call his boss, Mr. Kupchack, and cuss him out because he thinks he’s never going to see him again. (Bad idea.) Louis has the Tawny situation. Ren has her friends. And of course, Eileen’s whole career is being uprooted. 

Tugnut ultimately decides to uproot his life as well and drive all the way to Washington to continue Donnie’s training. There’s a pretty great final ~adult joke~ here. Tugnut says he talked it over with his wife, Tammy, and they agreed that a little break could be good. He explains that Tammy is busy with her own life, which includes working the night shift at Romano’s Pizza. But, Donnie’s like.. “Uh, Coach... Romano’s Pizza closed, like... 2 years ago” -- Insinuating that Tammy’s been cheating at night. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation!” Tugnut concludes. Wow. I like this joke, though. It’s subtle and smart. 

Right as Steve is fervently insulting his boss over the phone, Eileen comes running into the living room in a tizzy. She turns on the TV and calls for the entire family to come watch. In a “stunning and dramatic reversal,” a recount snatched victory away from Eileen and gave the congressional seat to some guy Charles Nuck. 

Louis: “My tape!” Ren: “My friends!” Steve: “My job!” Donnie: “My coach!” Eileen: “My seeeeat!”

You can always count on Tom Virtue to go overboard with his performance. To be fair, Steve knows that he totally just lost his job. Soo...

So, yeah! We’re only 9 minutes into the episode and The Stevens family is no longer moving! Wexler is so elated to have Ren back, he’s all “I’d be lost without you!” -- Literally no one can live a productive life without Ren Stevens I guess. He does a little happy dance down the hallway but then stops in his tracks in horror when he sees Louis moving back into his locker. “Noooo!” HAHAHA. 

“WHYYYYYY?!” -- I just really wanted to include this screenshot. Notice how Louis is unpacking a giant thing of syrup! Leftover from Lumberjack Club, I presume? 

Twitty stops by and Louis is in damage control mode. “I have a problem. I did the worst thing I could possibly do.” Twitty says “Dude, everyone gets gas climbing the rope in gym, it’s okay.” HAHA! For some reason I never really noticed that line before. It’s great. Of course, Louis explains that he gave Tawny a tape telling her how he really feels. Twitty asks how bad it is and if he dropped the “L-Bomb.” (“Did ya tell Tawny that you loved her?”) And Louis is officially freaking out. OHHHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDD. Scenes like this make me think that Even Stevens was more of a ~bro show~ kinda. I wonder if guys across the country related to this or not. 

Ren’s little ~storyline within the storyline~ could’ve been a lot better. As usual, she got the short end of the stick for her final hurrah in the series. She ends up finding a replacement of herself for Ruby and Monique named Denise who is seriously controlling and super creepy. After they find out the Stevens are no longer moving, Monique and Ruby really don’t want to go to the concert with Denise anymore. So Ren eventually finds replacements for Ruby and Monique as well so the three doppelgangers can go together instead. It’s trippy. And that’s pretty much it. 

Louis talks to Tawny later that day and finds out that Tom already delivered the tape. Yikes! Tawny doesn’t know what's on the tape though and doesn’t think much of it either. She’s assuming that it’s probably a nature special or Doris’ 40th birthday. And Louis quickly interjects “Good party! That was a good--” and awkwardly cuts himself off. Shia’s phrasing. It’s so good. I laughed pretty hard. Anyway, Louis is officially on a mission to retrieve the tape before she has a chance to watch it and calls Beans for help. Beans is at school when Louis calls his cell phone, and um... Beans is 8 years old. Why does he have a cell phone in 2002? Also, he should be in 3rd grade. Does this look like 3rd grade to you?!

That teacher is reading a baby storybook to them. This never seemed right to me lol. Also, that super tall kid in the middle is at least 11 years old. Come on now. ALSO they make a point to show that every kid in the class has a cell phone, too. Perhaps this show was simply ahead of its time AGAIN, showing us that soon technology will consume all of our lives at every age. 8 year olds have iPhones nowadays.

To sum it up, Louis has Beans climb into Tawny’s bedroom window to steal the tape back. This is the only episode where we see Tawny’s bedroom and much like the part of her house we saw in Thin Ice, it suits her personality perfectly and I love it. 

Louis is relieved to have the tape back, but once he gets home he notices the tape is actually labeled “To: Louis.” OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! HEREEEE WEEEE GOOOOO! I’ll let you watch this truly iconic and emotionally taxing scene play out for yourself:

Can you say SOULMATES?! What are the odds they’d both decide to confess their feelings via videotape? Well, besides it being an uber romantic plot device lol. 

The episode ends with Louis and Tawny at their lockers, smirking knowingly at each other because they know they’re in love now lol. It’s precious. It’s still a little awkward because it’s like “ok, we love each other or whatever... now what?” So, in true Louis & Tawny fashion Louis says “Soooo... I hear they’re having chili fries at lunch today.” And Tawny whispers “Cool. I love chili fries.” The two of them laugh at how well they know each other and walk off hand and hand into the sunset. All is right with the world. 

How sweet are they?! Seriously one of the most underrated pairings everrrrr. Tawny’s jeans though. I never understood the 2000s fashion trend that was distressed markings on the BUTTCHEEKS of pants! It looks absolutely terrible.

The final minute bit is Tugnut crying “DonnnieeeeEE!” all alone at the Washington monument lol. 

This is probably the most cinematic episode of Even Stevens. This thing plays out like a freaking movie. Honestly, if they fleshed out the plot a little more and added a few twists and turns that I can’t think of because I’m not a screenwriter -- I firmly believe this would've made for a better and more satisfying DCOM than The Even Stevens Movie. They could've ended the series with an episode built around a wacky plot like the vacation, (I mean, the dismal and beyond outlandish In Ren We Trust was the series’ penultimate episode so that wouldn't be a stretch...) and then have an original movie with heart and a story rooted in the characters. Am I alone here, or? Having the series end with Louis and Tawny getting together and then barely interacting in The Even Stevens Movie always pissed me off. The bit with the videotapes could totally compete with any blockbuster romance film, tbh. MOVIES end with characters finally getting together and it's the big, satisfying moment. Ending a SERIES like that, and then not doing anything with it in the big finale film is just frustrating. I wanted to see what became of Louis and Tawny: The Couple. 

This 8-second scene of them in the chair is the extent of their interaction in the movie. Along with two “right next to papa” lines from Louis, which Tawny sorta reacts apathetically/sarcastically to. That’s literally it. 

I’ve mentioned before that people tend to write-off Even Stevens as nothing but a wacky show to watch if you want to turn your brain off. But, there’s so much heart here and great characters that are overlooked! Having such a crazy movie for the big ending just solidified that Even Stevens = Dumb and wacky TV show, in the memories of many. Which is perhaps the reason why the show isn’t remembered as widely or fondly in comparison to other live action Disney shows of the era. This could also contribute to its underratedness. It’s just not the DCOM we deserved. Even I remember thinking “this looks stupid” when I first saw the promo trailer for the movie as a kid. But this series finale episode felt more like a movie to me than the DCOM ever did! It almost seems like it was intended to be a film but they cut out a bunch of it. It feels really rushed. One minute the Stevens are moving and the next they’re not. There’s so much more tension and emotion that could’ve been built if the idea of them moving lasted longer than 8 minutes, haha. Idk. This just feels like a plot that deserves more than 21 minutes to unfold and breathe. 

I kinda adore this episode. To this day it still manages to squeeze a lil’ tear outta me. I really can’t stress enough how sublime Shia’s acting on the tape to Tawny is. If the scene was longer, it could totally rival his romantic monologue in Disturbia (which some people have performed for acting auditions!!!) I wanna see people do a “Louis Stevens monologue” for auditions, man! lol. The day I see a modern Disney kid pull this sort of scene off with the same level of maturity will be the day hell freezes over. I love that Shia gave his all to this role. Even though ES was “just a Disney show” he treated the material with the weight it deserved and I really appreciate that. It’s what helps make Even Stevens more than “just a Disney show” and why it’s still great, if not better, in 2018. 

This episode makes my Top 10 because, like I said, it has such a movie feel to it and one of the strongest/most engaging plotlines in the entire series. I might’ve ranked this one even higher if Ren had a better final plot. They could’ve had a double romance dilemma with Ren and Larry getting together as well or at least a cute moment where they finally end their rivalry, but nooooooooo! The pressure of moving forced Louis & Tawny to confront their feelings, they could’ve done the same thing with Ren and Larry. If this episode had a Ren/Larry subplot of any kind it would probably be my #1 lololol. The episode does have a lot going for it and so much potential though. I had to put it in the single-digits.

The Louis/Tawny content here is OBVIOUSLY of the highest quality. Hands down the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen on the Disney Channel at least. The videotape(s) is like a grand gesture, but also small and intimate at the same time. Per-fect. The acting is especially great here, from both Shia and Margo. I mean, these performances could stand up against any "adult” comedy TV show, heck.. they’re probably better honestly. They’re seriously killin’ the game and they’re both 16/17 years old here. So underrated. Even Stevens deserved to be picked up by a major network. Imagine what it might’ve been like on ABC, CBS, or NBC? Dang. It’d be the cult classic it deserves to be today.

Thanks for reading!!

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[necryptoss]

CHALLENGE||4

<<Previous

“Shishigooouuu!”

Kairi bolted awake. The knocks persisted at the door.  Glasses fell off his nose, pens clattered and danced over the floor. He blinked several times, trying to regain his bearings. Seated at a wide table, glass,metal, and old classic bone fixtures stirred, bubbled, moved with experiments. Organs in jars  dotted  the space with layers of sticky notes. Necromancy had been always been a dark and horrid type of magecraft, even in the light of this cozy office space.  Papers under his hand bore  scribbled notes of the layers of curses to keep blood oxygenated outside the circulatory system, how to keep the heart pumping  on its own, or instructions to reanimate the nervous system.  

“Shishigou!”

“C-Come in! Come in!”

Shishigou shuffled the papers, separating them. Within the mix were his own thoughts-- wonderings about how he got here, or what he remembered that didn’t match up with the life he had now. A war, a city... He was renowned, celebrated for his achievements, yet had to catch up on his own progresses and advancements.  He worked with projects and what was given to him,  saw his daughter, then spent restless nights up working more on his circumstance. He was a deadman wearing his own skin, trying to adjust to a life he didn’t know he had.

An mustached older man entered the room in company with a younger gentleman, hair slicked back.  Even after working with them, Shishigou could not recall their names, but it did not matter much; mages were never one to remember those they stepped on. “ Sleeping again, eh?” Mr. Mustache barked with a laugh. “ You’re going to work yourself to death, boy. Not even your father worked this much in his day. A real night’s rest might be good for you.” Guilty as charged, it seemed. “ Eh,  there’s just too much to do. I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” the necromancer replied,  letting it come naturally and honest. He hugged his personal papers.

Both of the men laughed aloud, hard.  He didn’t understand what so funny about self- deprecation, but smiled nonetheless. “Yeah, I doubt you would. You’d be back doing work.” Mr. Hair-Gel snorted. He stepped forward and waved his hands in an excited motion. “Anyway, anyway!!  Yo, were you excited for the Clock Tower visit?  They’re looking forward to seeing your work. There was even rumors of setting you up to be a Grand one day. “ “A Grand…?”  Even Shishigou quieted in awe. The highest rank granted by the Clock Tower, above the best and reserved for the few who really excelled.  He must have only been in his early 20’s now, right?  The idea of prestige quickly dug its claws into insecurity. This wasn’t his success to continue-- he wasn’t  even sure what he had achieved. He had no choice but to accept. “Yeah! A Grand…” Mr. Hair-gel sighed .Stars danced in his eyes . “Man, think about it. I’d be working and learning under a Grand Magus.”

Shishigou  took a deep breath and held it within his chest. Tight, too tight. “  That’s a lotta pressure. When.. are they coming again?”

“Hmmm. Next week.” Mr. Mustache scratched his nose.  “They’re looking forward to seeing your work. Pretty remarkable, I’d say. ” “Everything’s going well, then?” Mr. Hair-Gel  gave him a thumbs up, which somewhat eased Kairi’s concern. “ Been following your instructions all this time. Everything’s perfect.”

“Oh, good.” Shishigou exhaled. He had time. He turned toward the desk, grabbing other papers and handing it over. Just like last time, just like times before.  “ Ah, here, before I forget,  I figured out the issue with blood coagulation in those samples you gave me.. That should fix the issue...” “Excellent. We’ll see to it.”

----

Mr. Rabbit needed a friend, they had decided.  This Saturday was spent at the mall, between brightly colored walls full of miniature clothes and small children darting from wall to wall to dress their new stuffed animals.  Kairi, like many of the parents there, thought it was best to find a designated spot and let their kids come to them when they were all done.  He found the whole idea charming. Something he never got to do. At Leila’s age, he was already working with corpses--but, the metal rod rammed into the ‘skin’ of the stuffed animals  before and as they were stuffed was pretty macabre as it could get.

“Kairi, Kairi!” Leila trotted up to him.. “What do you think? Doesn’t he look cool?”

She had picked a lion-- The ‘Shishi-”  in Shishigou.  That was an easy way to be welcomed into the family. The toy’s mane was tufted in different angles. Fabric sunglasses stretched around its head. To match, it was dressed in a pleather jacket, pants and boots. “ It kinda.. looks like me.” Kairi answered absently, then realized how strange that must have sounded when Leila made a face between a laugh and skepticism. He touched the lion’s nose. “---IF I had long hair, that is”

“ I think you’d look weird with long hair.” “Not cool?”

Leila snorted and shook her head. She adjusted the jacket on the toy. “ Nah. You don’t have the cool jacket anyway. That’s what being a cool lion is all about.”

Kairi hummed from his throat, feeling out of place. He placed a hand on her head. “Alrighty, you, let’s go pay.”

----

A beautiful day to go sailing, just as Kairi  promised. The weather cleared like the pulling of curtains to blue skies.  They set out in the morning. A small boat just for the both of them, and something that he could manage on his own for the afternoon with minimal damage to himself or anyone else.  Not a cloud in the sky, the winds and harbor were calm.  While their boat was no means impressive, he made sure  to rent the one with a colored sail.

Leila delighted all the same, waving to everyone they passed. She even got Kairi to wave with her, no matter the distance. They were closer now, he figured. Out on the water

They waved back again and again.

Kairi’s hand steadied back on the rudder. His other was wrapped in rope to adjust the sail.  His smile was tired, but content. Leila pushed her bangs out of her face as she settled back to sit next to him. Her nose was sniffly, and the lifevest was a size too big. “ Having fun?”

“ Yeah!” the girl beamed. “More  than I thought I could. I wonder when we can do it again.” Leila’s eyes suddenly looked dreamy. It was that same hope he remembered before he had given her the family crest. That hope that killed her long ago, he remembered. His heart ached. “ Anytime. Just don’t tell them I brought you out here instead of giving you lessons. I’m sure they wouldn’t like that very much. ” Shishigou sat back.  Distant voices reminded him to strengthen the family crest despite her health. She was Kairi’s next in line, expected to go beyond his own skills. He was still proud of her nonetheless.

“ I promise.” she held up her pinkie to prove her point. Kairi responded in kind, hooking his with hers as she spoke again, just as gentle as the flowers she ushered life back into.  “ But.. your birthday coming up? We always do what I wanna do. What do you want to do?”

“U-uh… I ?” Kairi hesitated. The voices that nagged him at work vanished. He was left with the silence of sorrow, a gravestone in the back of his mind. He hadn’t celebrated his birthday in years. Each year that passed since her death was another he wasted living. His daughter had died before he could ever celebrate with her the greatest gift he could possibly receive: her.  

“ I don’t know…. I gotta think about it.”

He did his best to hide the struggle in his voice. Every year he stood before that gave.

-----

People congratulated him left and right as he passed by, thanking him for the invitation and the chance to see his work up close. Having a drink in his hand proved a smart and effective way to cut down on the handshakes and introductions.  They asked him about his published papers, or general questions about necromancy-- like bringing things back to life.  What a good joke. Still,  most of it felt a buzz. Not that he didn’t believe their enthusiasm-- he was never good at parties. He answered things automatically, as he only hoped the Shishigou they knew would. The longer he stayed here, this place, the more he wondered where he was supposed to be. The talks, clinks of glasses and laughter…  What a different world than he was used to. Necromancy was often ridiculed. Majority of Necromancers fell to ruin chasing impossible dreams. It took the exceptional few to sway opinions. To think,  that was him.

It was surreal. His thoughts drifted as he did around the party floor. Shishigou took a sip of his alcohol.   The city he was in before this one… It touched several times and universes. Infinite possibilities. Was it possible that he was placed.. In a wrong one?  Or perhaps… because he died in an old war, he had no other place..? But.. what of the Shishigou who built up this reputation..? Were they back in the city in his stead?   Did he.. take away his dream too?

Depressed at the thought, Kairi pat at his pocket for his cigarettes, only to sigh heavily. That’s right. He didn’t smoke here…

“ There you are, Shishigou. We were wondering where you went off to. You’re keeping them waiting, yanno.” Behind him, Mr. Mustache's voice, wiggling that mustache under his scrunched nose.   “Oh.  My bad. There’s just so many people.” Shishigou’s gaze drifted around as he rubbed the back of his neck. His collar felt too tight around his neck. “ I thought I was supposed to meet them out here? I figured eventually, I’d run into them. ” “You won’t do that wandering around like a zombie for them,” His colleague puffed in a half laugh. “ Easier in the offices. Quieter too. All your stuff is there anyway. Come on.”

With a nod, Shishigou followed and left the party behind to the familiar halls he had grown used to working in.  He was quiet the entire way. He made it this far. He twirled the stem of his glass.

“---The poison was meticulously scrapped from the subject postmortem before being integrated with the--  Ah,  Shishigou.  Perfect timing. We were just about to leave. Hope you didn’t mind me going ahead.”

Famous magi waited in his office. All from the far reaches of the Association were present, each the eyes of a vulture waiting to pluck his carcass clean. His theories proved to be a waste of their time, the Shishigou family would die with their ruined reputation.  Mr. Hair-Gel had properly entertained them with explanation. “No, not at all.” Shishigou raised a hand. “ Thank you for helping me all this time.  It is every bit of my success as it is yours. After you.” Mr. Hair Gel  nodded affirmatively, and ushered the group back out into the hall.

One of the magi, sharp nose to match her sharp eyes,  smiled at his modesty and handed back a photo back to Shishigou’s assistant as they walked out.  From the glance, he saw a body depicted, and frowned.  “Very ambitious, Mr. Shishigou,” Ms. Eagle whispered. Her nails drummed on her arm like waiting talons. ”No one in the history of modern Necromancy has managed that level of clarity with the deceased, let alone retain memory or emotion on that level.”

“It could all be hogwash,”  another grunted, dark and oily hair.  Mr. Raven continued gruffly under the talk of Mr. Hair-Gel.“ How do we know to believe you. We have to see it to believe it. Could just be faking it this entire time. Bringing people back to life, bah. Perform the rite for us, will you?  Kill me where I stand then bring me back.” Kairi grew only perturbed. He must have stopped breathing. Impossible. It was impossible. How deep were they willing-- “Now, now.  That would ruin the curses at work and undo everything Shishigou has done. ” Mr. Osprey,  black hair streaked with white and tied back, cautioned. “If it has persisted for this long, let them keep at it to see how long it lasts. Using the cause of death to help facilitate the growth and potential of a crest is groundbreaking, not to mention the intricate and delicate process to replicate life! Ah, or perhaps truly bring it back. Imagine what you can do.  It’s been, what, a year now since you started the project, is that right. Shishigou?”

Mr. Osprey turned to look at him but the necromancer was silent. They stopped in front of a familiar door.  Windows in the wall opened to a simple hospital-like room.  The lighter were dim, but it was unmistakable.

Leila waved at him, smiling as she normally did when she greeted him.

Slowly, he waved in return--

“Yeah…”

He brought her back. His stomach twisted in a knot, disgusted. He knew. He knew himself too well. No excuse covered this atrocity born from grief and desperation. It was out of love. Love. Stupid, stupid love.

Just as the Shishigou family dealt with devils, he had dipped too far to become one himself, crossing borders  where magecraft should never go.  All his work made sense now, the problems he was given to solve weren’t independent but for the continued upkeep of Leila’s body. All the samples, hers and compatible pieces. She was nearly perfect.  While he toiled privately, his assistants saw them resolved, instructions followed.. He contributed to it, he contributed to this madness. fine-tuned it. This was dangerous, but worse, this was what he was to be known for: the Necromancer who brought  his dead daughter back to life.

His entire body stiffened.

He wanted to vomit the feelings of grief and apology that came with this existence, this other…. Shishigou’s. They did not belong in a body that stood resolute in anger. How could he do this?

Mr. Hair-Gel spoke but Shishigou barely listened.

------------------ NEXT >>

[toddsfall]

Oh, what are you willing to do?

Written for day 5 of Nurseydex week :) 

summary: What do you do when your friend is hurting and you're too far away to comfort him?

read on ao3 (which I would recommend doing, since I didn’t copy the formatting on here :p)

It's not like they had never talked before the summer started. Logically, Nursey knew that. Still, he couldn't help but smile at how close his friends felt when he kept in touch with them like this on the daily. Summer in New York away from the guys didn't seem so daunting anymore. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He was so glad Chowder didn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon. The dude was never shy to let them know how he was feeling. It was one of his best qualities and Nursey loved him for it.

The Frogs B-)

Chowder: I miss you guys :(

Nursey: aw me 2 c

Dex: same

Chowder: What have you been up to?

Dex: work mostly, kinda boring

Chowder: aw no tell us about it! We're interesting. Right, Nursey?

Nursey: sure

Dex: oh okay

Dex: I'm working in my uncle's shop this summer

Dex: it's a hardware store, but we haven't had many customers. so, pretty boring

Chowder: pity :(

Nursey: u should install some games on ur phone

Dex: hmm maybe

Dex: what are you doing, then? roaming around the city?

Nursey: p much, yeah

Nursey: I'm looking for inspiration, trying 2 write some poems

Chowder: cool! what are they about?

Nursey: lots of things

Nursey: the city, my mom, summer, etc

Nursey: I even wrote one about you guys

Chowder: noice

Dex: u should write about the ocean

Nursey: I don't see much of it, but yeah. maybe

Chowder: I have the best view of the ocean anyway B)

Nursey: oh, here we go again

Dex: Christopher Chow I love you with all my heart but you are Wrong

Chowder: :))))

Nursey: pls

Dex: ...

Chowder: I'm going to go help my mom with food

Chowder: we should keep talking guys

Chowder: it feels weird not talking to you guys every day

Nursey: I feel that

Dex: we will C, don't worry. go help your mom :)

Chowder: toodles

The Frogs B-)

Chowder: u know who's really pretty and smart

Chowder: and funny

Chowder: Farmer

Nursey smiled down at his phone. Chowder had many good qualities. Subtlety was not one of them. He was surprised it had taken Chowder a full two weeks before asking though.

Nursey: hmmm

Nursey: are you perhaps trying to ask us if you can add Farmer to the groupschat Chowder

Chowder: ... perhaps

Nursey: go ahead dude

Chowder: you won't regret it!

Chowder: I'm just tired of having to keep typing things in double when I have news to share

Nursey: lol

Chowder added Caitlin Farmer to the chat

Nursey: sup Farms

Cait: hey guys

Nursey changed the name of the chat to Farmer and the Frogs

Cait: oh that sounds like it could be our college band name

Chowder: omg yes! too bad I can't play any instruments :(

Nursey: too bad, we'd look so hot

Dex: oh good another rational person

Cait: hey dex, honored to join the chat

Cait: it's kinda infamous to me now lmao, Chris has told me a lot about it

Nursey: oh no

Dex: not cool c

Dex: what happens in the groupchat stays in the groupchat

Chowder: don't worry I didn't tell her about your embarrassing encounter with that cashier the other day

Chowder: oops

Cait: what happened?

Nursey: Dex stumbled when he got to the register

Nursey: he was holding a very juicy tomato in his hand

Nursey: and he was wearing a white t-shirt

Nursey: it was a very Me move

Cait: oh no :o

Dex: I feel very betrayed right now

Chowder: sorry Dex, I'll try not to do it again

Chowder: but Cait can be VERY persuasive

Cait: *wiggles eyebrows*

Cait: yeah I can

Dex: no flirting in the groupchat

Farmer and the Frogs

Nursey: why did I do this

Dex: what's up Nurse?

Nursey: remember how I thought it might be fun to enter that writing contest?

Nursey: Yeah, it's no fun

Dex: have you written anything for it yet?

Nursey: yeah I have a big chunk of it lined out

Nursey: I just can't bring myself to write :(

Dex: hey no pressure

Dex: I know that's weird coming from me, but putting too much on yourself just isn't going to help right

Nursey: yeah I know, it's just. I wanted to do this

Nursey: make myself proud or whatever

Dex: hey what about this

Dex: you promise to do nothing but focus on your writing for the next ten minutes

Dex: and I'll be proud FOR you

Nursey: aight i'll try

Cait: oh sorry only seeing this now, I was at work

Cait: how's the writing going Nursey? :)

Nursey: I actually made myself sit at myself and write

Nursey: and the chances of me actually finishing this thing are looking a lot brighter

Cait: yay!

Chowder: we're proud of you too!

Cait: you bet :D

Nursey: thanks guys :)

D-menlicious

Nursey: thanks for earlier bro

Nursey: you actually helped me

Dex: you're welcome Nursey :)

Nursey: :)

That night, Nursey went to bed feeling very grateful for his friends. He stared at his phone, trying to see if Dex was going to say something else. When it didn't look like he had anything more to add, he went to sleep.

Farmer and the Frogs

Nursey: do you guys ever think about how small we are and how infinite the universe is?

Cait: all the time lol

Nursey: it's craaazy

Cait: tell me about it

Dex: guys please go to sleep it's 4 am

Nursey: okay but why are you awake dude

Dex: I'm already up bro

Dex: have to drive my uncle around today, we're talking to his suppliers

Nursey: kay, good luck

Cait: night guys

Nursey: night

Nursey: and morning Dex

Farmer and the Frogs

Dex: fuck fuck fuck

Dex: ugh

Nursey: bro?

Nursey: what's up?

D-menlicious

Nursey: Dex?

Nursey: what's wrong

When Dex still hadn't answered after ten minutes, Nursey decided to call him. Maybe he was feeling worried over nothing, but he wanted to make sure. Dex was there for him when he needed him, now he could be there for him too.

Dex picked up after three rings. "Hey Nursey." He sounded tired, but not in a panic or anything. Nursey blew out a breath.

"What's up man? I saw your post in the chat. Sorry I didn't answer immediately, I was writing."

"That's okay. I was just blowing off some steam. Don't worry about it."

"Well, I have you on the phone now. You might as well tell me. C'mon, I'm your d-man. Let me carry the weight, got your back and all that."

"It was nothing major, really. Just one of those days you know?" Nursey hummed, he knew those days well. He was in fact so intimately familiar with those day, that he might as well be in a long-term relationship with them by now. Dex continued. "Like, this morning. I overslept, so I had to rush to the store and I couldn't eat breakfast. Then, to add to my already great morning mood, I dropped a wrench on my foot. Of course, I was wearing work boots. That didn't stop it from hitting my shin, though."

Nursey sucked in a breath. "Ouch, that sounds painful."

Dex huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, it fucking was. And then after my morning in the darkest timezone had finally ended, of course everyone in town suddenly decided to stop by the store. I was swamped all afternoon. God, I'm so tired."

"That sucks dude, but now you're home right? Go rest. Watch some youtube videos of people doing stupid things and falling. Those always cheer you up. Forget about this day for a bit."

Dex sighed. "I wish I could. I got home with that exact plan in mind. But of course my teenage sister has decided that today is the day she's going to rebel against my parents. I heard them fighting when I came in. And now everyone is in a foul mood."

"Yikes. Alright dude. Let's go, you're getting out of the house." Nursey was already getting, putting on his shoes.

"Where am I supposed to go? Nursey, what are you doing?" Dex said, sounding concerned.

"Go sit outside, your yard or your roof or whatever. Just, somewhere without any people around. Can you do that?" Nursey tried not to sound too excited. He was just helping his friend. Not his crush.

Dex sighed again, but Nursey could tell it was the kind of sigh that came before Dex decided to give in. "Okay, fine. I'm going outside right now. Hold on, I'll call you back."

"Aight dude, take your time. I want to show you something."

Nursey went outside, grabbing a blanket as he went. He wanted to settle in before Dex called back.

It wasn't long before he got the call. "Okay, okay I'm on my roof. What now, Nursey?" He could hear the smile in Dex's voice. Good, he was getting him out of his head already.

"I'm going to FaceTime you. Hang up."

Derek Nurse calling

Nursey waved at Dex. "Hey Dexy! Okay, I'm going to show you the view from my roof." He moved his camera around while he went on. "It's nothing special, I know. I just like coming up here when I'm feeling down. Look how pretty and pink the sky looks, though. That's pretty dope right?"

Dex's camera showed his face. A small smile was creeping in the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, it's pretty dope Nursey."

They stayed talking like that for a long time. Nursey felt a little overwhelmed, he hadn't been able to look at Dex's face for most of the summer. Snapchat just wasn't the same. Eventually though, he had to admit that he was getting cold. The sun had set and on the roof, a cool night breeze was giving him goosebumps. "I'm going to have to go inside soon, I'm getting a little cold."

Dex smiled at him, looking infinitely more relaxed than he had hours before. "Okay Nursey. But first, let me show you something too." He turned his phone so Nursey could see the night sky. There were many more stars visible than he could see in the middle of the city.

"Wow, that's pretty cool." The comfort of the moment must have gone to his head, because he added. "Those stars kind of remind me of your freckles."

Dex flipped the camera back around. His blush was visible, even in the low light of his phone. "Oh. Well, thanks. I guess?" His nose scrunched up.

"You're welcome." Nursey smiled at him. He looked adorable.

Dex's answering smile was blinding.

Farmer and the Frogs

Chowder: sooo what's up guys

Chowder: me and Cait are going to the aquarium today :DD

Cait: we're v excited

Nursey: sounds great bros

Dex: have fun

Chowder: thanks! I'm excited to see the sharks

Dex: wow would've thought

Nursey: not me that's for sure

Nursey: I've finished my draft for the writing contest thing btw

Cait: whoooo

Cait: you should celebrate

Nursey: mm maybe I will

Dex: you called?

Chowder: haha wow

Chowder: and you say my jokes are corny

Nursey: oh well, maybe I WILL call you

Dex: oh yeah? and what would we talk about?

Nursey: oh, all sorts of things

Nursey: maybe poetry

Nursey: or sustainable energy sources

Dex: what makes you think I want to talk about those things

Nursey: I can be very persuasive

Chowder: no flirting in the groupchat they said

Cait: hypocrites

[liquidcatt]

Steven Universe characters described by Encyclopedia Dramatica

Note: Don’t take these seriously please. This is meant to be a joke, so don’t start screaming/sending death threats at me because I didn’t write any of these. Please have an open mind. This contains offensive content 

Steven Universe(DeMayo)- The main character. As the bastard son of Rose Quartz, he has inherited all of her powers; such as healing literally anything ever, creating life, possessing people, and others. If you pose a threat to the planet's existence, Steven will still see you as capable of changing; but if you hit on him, you're worse than Hitler. Has PTSD.

Greg Universe(DeMayo)- Steven's dad. He's an ex-solo-musician with cat hair and the poster child for how to fail at life but still get the best girl. Seriously though he met Rose because she's the only person who liked his music. Now Greg runs a Car Wash and lives in a van, so Steven lives with the gems.

Connie- Steven's obligatory love interest. Connie's mom is a doctor and her dad is a cop who works for multiple beaches in multiple cities so she isn't in the same place for long, meaning she can't make friends. Because she has no friends she spend most of her time reading books and looking at boats. This probably means she knows about Onion's status as Satan. [Insert Un-funny Lolicon joke here.]

Rose Quartz- Steven's mom who had to become an hero to give birth to him. Apparently, she can find beauty in anything(even this show's fandom), has magical healing tears, the power to create minions from plant matter, and she used to plant magic moss bent on devouring everything because she doesn't give a fuck. She's a girl imbued with white attire, pink hair extensions and magical powers linked to a gem who had tried to 'heal' the spirits of the corrupted gems and forsaken her physical form because reasons. The definition of a Mary Sue. She's later discovered to be a fucking murderer.

Pearl- She is a smart-ass who thinks she's superior inferior to anything surrounding her. Has an unquenchable thirst for Rose Quartz. She watches Steven in his sleep. Since she can't sex it up with Rose anymore, she'll settle for the next best thing: Garnet. Her weapon is a Spiral-tipped spear.

Amethyst- A Gem that was grown on Earth by evil gems. FAs on Tumblr can NEVER get enough of her because, like a disturbingly high number of characters in this show, she's FA-worthy. Constantly stuffing her fat face (even though apparently Gems don't need food, or drink, or sleep, or air). Used her shapeshifting power to turn into her fursona, "The Purple Puma" and wreck people behind Pearl and Garnet's backs. You learn later in the series that she is Jasper's bitch and has shown to be worthless as hell. Her weapon is a spiked whip.

Garnet- The Leader of the Crystal Gems since Rose died. She is secretly a fusion of two lesbians (lesbians exist in kids' shows now). Her powers include seeing into the future, swimming in lava, and a diva voice. The Gem Homeworld is full of Dixie Confederate Republican gems that didn't like Garnet being Garnet, so she joined Rose Quartz's army to fight for Earth so she could be free to be a black hole of faggotry. The french dub of the show censored Garnet's gayness spawning a sewer flood of hate. Her weapon is a pair of gauntlets.

Ruby & Sapphire- Dwarf lesbians that make up Garnet. A hot-headed red one with fire powers and a cool-headed blue one with ice powers. Completely Original. Can't last five seconds apart from each other. They are the real reason why people started to watch the show and Rebecca likes to milk them whenever she can.

Lapis Lazuli- A waterbender. The Crystal Gems trapped her in a mirror for 5750 years until Steven broke her free. She flew to her homeworld in space to find that if you give a civilization 5750 years they tend to advance. She fused with Jasper so she could use her water-powers to trap herself and Jasper at the bottom of the ocean forever. Fans want to fuck her because tumblr fags think they relate to her 'abused' past. Thus, making her the most overrated and second to boot meme'd SU character and all that cringy shit.

Peridot- A racist who uses prosthetics and jerks off to The Diamond Authority. She used to be a baddie but now she's a goodie because of Steven's selective character redemption powers. As an "Era-2" peridot, she's a shitty millennial whose only power as a gem to be magneto.

Jasper- A roid-rager who Peridot dragged her with to Earth, is Lapis' abusive girlfriend and thinks Steven is Rose Quartz. She fused with Lapis after being jelly that Garnet is infinitely better than her in every way (even though she thinks fusion is for pussies) but Lapis dragged their fused body into the ocean. After separating from Lapis, Jasper became obsessed with fusing with her again, but was thrown back into the ocean. She later created an army of corrupted gems, but fuse-raped one of them and got AIDS.

Bismuth- The blacksmith that made all the Crystal Gems' weapons. She treated the war like an actual war and got bubbled for it. Upon her chimp out in her debut, the fans started demonizing Fructose for having a "black-coded" character be loud and aggressive, and also for stating that murder is wrong. Steven refused to shatter other gems, and this made Bismuth turn apeshit against Steven, attempting to shatter him. Dead

White Diamond- Best girl.

Yellow Diamond- Gem-Hitler. She wants to destroy the earth because killed her baby sister. She is such a boss that even the crewniverse fangirls over her VA.

Blue Diamond- A Sith Lord who refuses to accept the fact the Pink is dead, also a massive emo.

Pink Diamond- Worst Diamond. Only had one planet to her name before Rose Quartz fucking killed her.

Fusions

Opal- Whenever Pearl and Amethyst aren't arguing for no reason, they can perform fusion to "form Opal": a four-armed giant woman; the gems claim that they only fuse when they have no choice but hardly ever do it when they need to and when they do it it's hardly ever when they need to. Fun Fact: Originally they were going to pose her arms to form a swastika as a Hindu reference but were forced to scrap it because culturally ignorant Jews and Social Justice Warriors would have been offended and that can't ever happen. Her weapon is a bow.

Sugilite- Whenever a mission can only be completed with brute force and lots of it, Garnet and Amethyst will fuse to form Sugilite. In exchange for that power the three succumb to roid rage. Is voiced by Nicki Minaj. Obviously the SJ-Wankers were appalled by how obviously racist her character is, which surprised us all since SJWs typically jerk off to and worship the Steven Universe characters. Sugilite's weapon is a flail.

Sardonyx- A fusion of Garnet and Pearl. A gap-toothed cricket who apparently works at a casino. Pearl lies to Garnet so they keep having to fuse into her, because she enjoys how it feels, causing Garnet to get butthurt and ignore her for several episodes until Pearl basically admits to being a worthless cunt who can't do shit on her own. Her weapon is a giant hammer.

Malachite- The Lapis-Jasper fusion that dragged it's horrid form to the bottom of the sea to save the C-Gems, getting kinky with each other with whatever shit they find down there to pass the time. It ultimately got it's shit wrecked by Alexandrite.

Stevonnie- The accidental shota/loli fusion of Steven and Connie who frequently suffers from hallucinations brought on by Steven's own mental instability, initially thought to be Connie's fighting 'skills' being overwhelmed by her edgy 14 year old mind, being the downward spiral moment of the series if it had any upping points.

Smoky Quartz- A fusion of Steven and Amethyst. A ripoff of sardonyx. This fruit is such a shit waifu that 4chan straight up gave up on fapping to every gem in this show. Immediately, Tumblrites started drawing the most disgustingly obese incarnations of him that could exist, doubling the demand in Clorox bleach. His weapon's a yo-yo. No jokes, he flings a giant yo-yo at his enemies to attack.

[comicteaparty]

February 4th-February 10th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 4th, 2019 to February 10th, 2019.  The chat focused on Offshore Comic by Stefan Gasic.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Offshore Comic by Stefan Gasic~! (http://www.offshorecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 10th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite strip in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Given the comic’s focus on financial markets and all that composes them, what is something this comic has taught you about the subject? Alternatively, what is something you wished you understood better to understand the comic’s comedy?

QUESTION 4. How do you think the comic’s illustrative style and choices help the comedy of the comic? What is one moment where a particular design or image really stood out to you and helped the point the strip was trying to convey?

QUESTION 5. The comic features several recurring subjects like the legitimacy of IQ scores, LLCs, and more. Which of these recurring topics did you like the most? What about it caught your interest?

Stefan G

Hello everyone, 1) Just updated www.offshorecomic.com with a new strip. Check it out. 2) RebelVampire, are your questions intended for me or any new reader? Ciao, Stefan the creator of #Offshorecomic

snuffysam

They're intended for both (still working through the archive)!

keii4ii

Is there a way to get permalinks for individual strips, so I can come back to specific ones at a later time?

Stefan G

Thanks & okay, snuffysam keii4ii, unfortunately there’s no way to get permalinks for individual strips ... I coded the website myself as a side project and am not that good a coder

keii4ii

Oh man, I can relate to that... If I ever get rich, comic website coding and maintenance stuff is the first thing I'll hire someone to do for me

I do like how it loads and makes it easy to read through the archive, for what it's worth.

Stefan G

Thanks for the feedback ... and I totally, totally agree. One could spend a fortune for a coder to take care of all the fixings and stuff ... now I’m learning on the side whenever there’s time left over from work & family.

Stefan G

Answer to Q1 => readers have found the “happiness” strip the best. It’s also one of my favourite ones [succinct & clever & relatable] ...I truly don’t have a favourite strip, but the attached Reto & Urs -strips make me chuckle whenever I read them [I appreciate below-the-waist-humour and/or humour where people are really, really selfish].

lomcia (princess_lom)

1. The newest one is so funny

2. Trader

3. i dont work in office but i cant find nothing to improve that comic, i think the design of characters and humor is on really high lvl 12/10 for me

4. Style is perfect ffor that comic, i wouldnt change it

Stefan G

Answer to Q2 => at the moment my favourite character is the Economist. He’s a genuine IYI [intellectual-yet-idiot] ... which the world is full of and the finance industry in particular. The Economist is easy to write for because I’ve discovered a never ending source of humorous material called the daily financial newspaper ... please find attached also one of my favourite strips

Thank you, lomcia (princess_lom) for your feedback.

lomcia (princess_lom)

your welcome I hope i didnt misunderstood question 3 xD

Stefan G

I think you got everything just right

lomcia (princess_lom)

cool

Stefan G

Answer/comment to Q3 => I’ve spend my professional life in finance, hence, I know every nuance of the industry. However, for the layperson the finance industry [money, banking, insurance, etcetc...] is a big black box of unnecessary complication. My humble attempt with #Offshorecomic is to untangle this complexity and make money related topics more accessible/understandable to anyone ... using humour as my main tool. Finance is more stupid than you think; trust me

I’ll answer the rest tomorrow. Gotta go to now. is like in a totally different time zone and all that Thx again y’all !

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Which joke not related to finance did you enjoy the most? What about it made it stand out to you among all the others?

RebelVampire

1) i really enjoyed the life coaching strip about facing reality and lying to yourself. i just really enjoy the bluntness and simplicity by which the self-deception line is delivered. A+ comedy right. 2) i like p-bird because i consider him a much needed counter balance to many of the other characters. he at least has more feet planted in reality. 3) hedge funds. not that i understand them perfectly from the comic, but now theyre more than just a financial word i see tossed around. and despite the very negative absurdist humor regarding them, was still interesting to get some insight into what they actually involved. 4) i think the style overall really balances well with the comedy. a lot of the comedy is reliant on the dialogue, so keeping the illustrations clean, bold, and somewhat simple really helps direct attention to the words. i also really just enjoy the character designs cause every single one really hits that idiot or absurdist mark that needs to be hit. 5) actually i really liked the address of IQ scores. because literally these characters seem like the type whod wind up on r/iamverysmart and use their IQs to talk about how cool they are. so it was kind of nice to see some evidence for that with the subject. that and i always like seeing the concept of IQ being torn apart. 6) i actually liked a lot of the jokes that pertained to the academic sphere in regards to things like publishing and teaching. selfishly it most just stood out to me because academia is something im more familiar with in regards to its simultaneous setup of worthless class structures and cutthroat profs trying to further their careers.

Stefan G

Thank you, RebelVampire, for your thoughtful analysis & feedback I believe that the writing is the most important part in comics ... and the best humorous writing is often blunt & simple [you hit the nail on the head with that comment]. Furthermore, I intentionally designed the strip in a simplistic style in order to A) highlight the writing/gag, B) to save time and C) cuz simple drawings are funny I love to make fun of pompous, self righteous folks ... academics are thus some of my main targets [due to the same reasons I make fun of financial professionals].

Stefan G

Answer to Q4 => My childhood inspiration and spark for cartoons/drawing came from F.Ibanez [Clever & Smart] ... very funny yet simple style. Nowadays I enjoy Dilbert by Scott Adams or the political cartoons from cartoonist Jari Elsilä; also both of them are hilarious without wasting unnecessary lines. I believe a straightforward style highlights the writing and that’s what I’m trying to achieve. Moreover, I love to have backgrounds in my comics [to steer the reader to a particular thought or mood] but hate to draw them and/or dislike it when they clutter the cartoon ... I’m rather happy with a style that I’ve developed over time where I draw the background but reduce the opacity to 25 %. I think that works pretty nice

Stefan G

Answer to Q5 => My favourite themes are 1) anyone predicting the future, 2) mistaking luck for awesome skill and 3) incompetent yet pompous professionals ... there is so much hilarious material right there

Answer to Q6 => I often use the characters Reto und Urs for jokes/strips that are not necessarily financial because they are so endearingly stupid [well, mostly Urs is]. This one makes me chuckle

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. In what ways have any of the strips changed the way you think about life, finances, or any other topic covered in them? Alternatively, what have the strips portrayed that you wish more people knew?

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Poco Adventures is now available https://comicteaparty.com/post/182650076295/january-28th-february-3rd-2019-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. Of all the parodies and jabs at financial markets and life, which do you consider the most on the nose as far as its representation in the comic goes?

RebelVampire

7) the strips have made me realize in a way that this is another industry where basically theres lots of ridiculous junk going on in the background cause you can never remove human faults completely. cause when it comes to finance theres lots of advanced vocabulary and concepts being thrown around usually, so for someone untrained it can sound intimidating and hard to follow. i think these strips do a great job of humanizing things tho and showing that the concepts arent all that alien cause at the end they were created by humans and reflect the desires of humans in a way. 8) one of my faves that i think is totally on the nose is this one where the economist is telling p-bird about ppl on twitter debating him being ignorant. and that his facts and stuff will prevail but p-bird points out that wouldnt even work on the economist. and the economist goes home confused. i think this is way too true for what its like to argue on the internet and how facts and logic get infinitely buried for the sake of narrative.

Stefan G

Excellent analysis/comments, RebelVampire really constructive. The human element is everywhere and money is such an emotionally laden topic that it’s easy to get confused even without the unnecessary complicated vocabulary ...which is often misused even by so-called “professionals”. If my strip has helped you understand all of that and un-demonised the beast, you’ve made me a very happy man Yeah, the Twitter-Fact-Confusion strip is one of my more relatable strips ... I’ve given up on trying to change people’s minds with facts; if changing minds is possible, it can only be achieved through via emotions. It sounds more logical the other way around but that’s not how we work. Here’s a special academically oriented strip just for you, RebelVampire Enjoy

snuffysam

haven't been able to get all the way through the archive yet, but my answer to both #2 and #8 is the Regional Manager. I love all the characters, but there's something to be said for the simplicity of having a guy literally run around headless.

Stefan G

Thanks , snuffysam. I almost forgot about the regional manager. I have to bring him back to life; I also like him ... by the way, there are 308 strips in total.

Answer to Q7 => I can’t claim that any one strip has changed the way I think about life and/or other things ... however, I do believe that writing & drawing Offshore strips has reinforced in me some of the main ideas from my favourite author, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, who’s books have influenced me deeply [e.g. Black Swan, Antifragile, etc etc] ... luck versus skill, thinking about risk and stuff like that. I regularly come back to his books for inspiration and recommend his books & Twitter -feed. Here are two strips that highlight my point ...sort of

Answer to Q8 => wow tough question ... with 99 % of my strips I genuinely try to convey some message about basic human quirks and/or outright stupidities that actually take place on a regular basis when handling money + and then I add my own personal humours twist to it. Here are a few strips with the message never to buy something you don’t understand [a hint: they always have complicated names]...

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What other finance related topics are you hoping to see the comic explore? Which characters are you hoping to see involved with the topic?

Stefan G

Answer to Q9 => As the creator of the strip I’m obviously biased to answer this question, but I’d love to hear what the new readers have to say. I don’t have a particular preference for any topic [except make fun of pompous forecasters ] ... but I feel myself wanting to write & draw more strips for the Markets-Weasel and Reto und Urs. And that’s surprisingly hard to do; forcing it doesn’t work [at least not for me] ... Offshore’s main characters were supposed to be Reto und Urs and somehow P-Bird and the Economist and the trader stole the show. I guess that happens when you get to know your characters better. Funny how that happens ... here’s one nostalgic strip from my early work that I really enjoy

Stefan G

Addition to Q9 => ... I’ve steadily build up an audience on Twitter [@NonMeek] which consist mainly of likeminded financial and/or other professionals ...hence, hearing the viewpoints from anyone outside that sphere would be awesome

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) idk about specific topics, but id like to see the CEO who i think appeared in like one strip. I'm really interested to see the CEO dynamic with the other characters in terms of finance. learn how they view what theyre doing, how they view what the others are doing, etc. but im all for bringing the regional manager back too cause i enjoyed that character as well. a lot of great humor picking fun at how some managerial positions are kind of ridiculous to even exist to a degree. 10) learning more, mostly. overall its nice to see a harder to cover topic in comics. ive enjoyed how approachable and humanized the strips make finances, and how they remind you that professionals can be like this and actually have no clue what theyre doing. @Stefan G that academic oriented strip you shared was actually one of my faves. not necessarily in college, but i see this a lot in the blogosphere where ppl do a thing once and try to pass themselves as qualified experts to deliver advice. XD

Stefan G

@RebelVampire Thanks again for your opinions. Those really help with the development of the strip ... finance is a hard topic indeed and there are no really finance oriented strips out there [that I know of anyway], which is funny cuz the industry is filled with emotions and mind blowing mental errors. I guess people still believe finance & investing is some sort of scientific discipline which it’s really not ... there are hardly any black & white answers to anything even though there’s lots and lots of historical data ... it’s time to fix that myth with Offshore I’m glad you enjoyed that academic strip. It resonated rather well on Twitter too

@RebelVampire [adding to my previous answer] ... I agree that the managers need to be reanimated and given another chance. I’ll try to do that and see how they resonate. I never know beforehand which characters will work and which will fizzle out; e.g. der Compliance Offizier is one of my favourite characters, yet, resonates weakly outside the banking circles ‍♂️ [I love the strip below ].

keii4ii

I would like to see more strips that cracks jokes about this very specific context of finances! Things like that strip about funds blowing up on day 252. I think that gives this comic its own flavor. Readers get to laugh about not just any kind of incompetent people, but incompetent people in this specific field. Readers with no background in finances don't know the context, so more strips that shed light on the context of the jokes would be great.

Stefan G

@keii4ii All valid and excellent points ... I genuinely try to write & design my cartoons in such a way that the joke is understandable even though you don’t know the context. It’s a hard thing to do ... my wife is my toughest critic and she tells me the same as you ... but keep following Offshore and I promise to come up with more stuff like that 252 strip

Answer to Q10 => My ambition with Offshore is to 1) amuse myself first and see if anyone shares my sense of humour [if a cartoon doesn’t amuse me, I don’t publish it]. It’s a splendid way of letting out some frustration from work ... and 2) to make investing & finance more approachable to the layperson by infusing some humour into it in the form of cartoons ... which by the way nobody thought of doing on a serious basis. Weird. However, to produce material on a semi-regular basis I figured that writing only gags/jokes is too much work and/or too shallow of an approach, hence, the characters in the strip need to be interesting/relatable enough in order to create humorous material by mere interaction with each other. That’s easier said than done. I’m quite satisfied with my characters so far but am continuously looking for new interesting characters to add to the strip [either permanently or impermanently]. Like Scott Adams once told me: “The trick with comics is to reflect the reader's own experience. To allow people to say, "That's me!" I’ll conclude with this sneak peek strip [only for you guys] that should relate to the experience of anybody working in a big corporation.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Offshore Comic this week! Please also give a special thank you to Stefan Gasic for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Offshore Comic, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.offshorecomic.com/

Stefan’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/NonMeek

[anthrat]

The Akatsuki members as high-school students

Has this been done before? Probably! Do I care? No, because these are my terrible headcanons and nobody can take them from me.

A/N: This has been in my drafts for a long time, probably since early February. I’ve been lacking motivation to do anything at all for months and lo and behold, I find this basically finished piece bar one character. I really, really want to start writing again but I’m struggling to think of ideas, so if you have any requests for future headcanons/one shots/etc feel free to slide me a message or something :)

He's definitely the generic super intelligent kid who gets straight A's in pretty much every subject. All of his notes are really well organised, he keeps bullet journals and everything is colour coded - mans notes are literal art. His handwriting is definitely beautiful, we're talking professional calligrapher here.

All of his equipment is immaculate, he cries if one of his books gets a crease or something on it somehow. If you accidentally nudge him or ruin his notes he will silently hold a grudge against you forever - he probably won't act on his grudge though, he just wants to blend in and he dislikes conflict in general.

Despite being fully aware of his intelligence he hardly ever speaks up in classes. He only really speaks when spoken to and so is renown as the token quiet kid. I also envision him as being super pretentious, although he doesn't show it he definitely thinks he's better than everyone else.

His favourite subject would be English because he enjoys analysing anything and everything. If you're friends with him he will make comments on how random pieces of media etc. are a representation of -insert important world issue or theory.- He'd also like art despite it being the only subject he's not very good at. All his art is abstract, he will draw a pink square and claim it represents a patriarchal society.

Doesn't have many friends because he isn't very talkative, spends most of his time at school alone doing schoolwork. Sees school purely as an educational setting and so doesn't see the point in making an attempt to be social.

All of his school equipment looks like it's been mauled by 300 dogs because its all second/third/fourth+ hand. Man would never pay full price for a textbook. He definitely steals all the faculty equipment too. You could fill an entire room with the amount of stationary this man has but he will NEVER lend it to anyone else. If he does lend you something it's because its either A) broken B) barely functional (so like pens which can write 2 letters before running out) or C) you're giving him something better in return/paying for it (even then he'll probably take whatever he lent you back without you realising)

He also definitely runs mini-shops in school where he'll sell stolen equipment and things like sweets/chewing gum/trendy items (he made bank when fidget spinners were a thing) for like triple what they're actually worth.

His favourite subject is definitely history (He's a crusty dusty old man so of course) but he will never admit this. He takes business and economics but hates them, he's already done all of his own research into the subjects and is only doing them to get the qualification. Definitely complains about how he already knows it all already and it's a waste of time for him to learn it again. His only conversation topic is him talking about how he's going to set up his own business as soon as he leaves school.

Is very intelligent but only gets average grades in most subjects because he refuses to try if he dislikes the subject or sees it as a waste of time.

Watched DeathNote once and now thinks he's an actual real life version of Light Yagame. Carries around his own DeathNote and threatens to write people's name in it.

Convinced that he's been bestowed with supernatural powers, whenever he speaks he does lots of flashy hand gestures, - think generic cool-dude protagonist poses - these change depending on what piece of media he's currently obsessed with. His personality also changes alongside the poses.

Basically what I'm trying to say is he's the over-saturated 'weird anime kid' with a touch of superiority complex. Although, he's super confident and has absolutely 0 shame in this fact.

Bless his little heart, he loves writing but is the definition of 'uses complicated words without knowing what they mean'. He's still decently smart though. His grades would probably be pretty average because he struggles to apply himself properly. His favourite subject would definitely be something like sociology where he can freely express his profound ideas, even if some of them are completely god awful. He'd also enjoy any subject which gives him creative freedom such as art or English.

Cannot see this lad as anything but a jock. He loves sports, lives and breathes them. He's probably a member of practically every single sports team and is surviving on the basis he has a sports scholarship of some kind.

Despite him being a jock he'd be the most approachable out of all the Akatsuki members. He's the kind of guy who no matter who you are he'd always be happy to crack jokes and talk with you. He definitely brings in way too much food, he's that dude who brings a whole mini banquet to school every day for no discernible reason. He's always happy to share though, he's definitely the kind of guy who if he saw someone sat by themselves at lunch he'd sit with them and offer them food.

His grades would be a little on the lower side because most of his free time is taken up with all his sports, however, he'd still work hard at his academics regardless. If anything this man is probably the most dedicated, he would hate the fact that he's falling behind all his classmates but at the same time would rather die than give up any of his extracurricular activities.

He'd be fairly popular because of his naturally easygoing and humorous nature, but people would rarely ever invite him to events as they'd just assume he was busy.

Konan is an absolute babe, the kindest and most caring person in the whole school. Forgotten your lunch? She'll buy you some or give you her own. Didn't do your homework? Bitch will give you hers to copy, if it's an essay or something she'll sit with you and help you write it. Looking a little upset? Konan's right there to try and cheer you up even if you aren't friends.

Despite how wonderful and 100/10 a person she is she probably won't have many close friends. She'll get used a lot by others who take advantage of her good nature. She's smart enough to know what they're doing but she doesn't care, she's happy to be of help to anyone even if they don't appreciate it.

She's a bit of a teachers pet though, she's on super good terms with every teacher in the school even if she doesn't take the subjects they teach. Most of her breaks/lunches would be taken up by her helping with display boards or whatever.

Her favourite subject would be geography, she'd really enjoy learning about different cultures and societies. I can see her just really enjoying learning about how rivers are formed and stuff like that as well. Her least favourite would be something like math which is only fact based, she enjoys being able to look at things from different perspectives.

Also bitch would bake all the time, literally every lesson she'd whip out a box of cakes/cookies/anything else she'd baked the night before to share with the whole class.

Carries knives around with him because he thinks they make him look cool. He can and will whip one out at any given opportunity so he can flex a knife trick on you. His knife tricks suck though, he always drops them or cuts himself, if you try and walk away he'll beg you to stay claiming that fortieth time's the charm or something.

He never shows up to lessons, he doesn't even know what one is. If you ever ask him what subjects he takes he'll look at you blankly and ask what you mean. If he ever is in a lesson it's because he was dragged there by a member of staff. Honestly, the few lessons he's actually present for are so chaotic teachers find themselves praying he doesn't show up. Being as he never willingly shows up he'll never know what subject it is, and he'll ask insanely bizarre questions un-ironically because he gives no fucks and has no idea what is happening. For example, you'll be learning about arteries in biology and he'll ask something like "What ingredients do we need?" because he'll have confused arteries with artichoke and think he's in a home economics lesson.

Despite being the weird knife kid he's pretty popular, he's so completely brain dead and unaware of his surroundings that its impossible not to get along with him. He doesn't have the critical thought to bully anyone and so even if he tries to be horrible it always comes off as though he's just trying to be funny.

Oh dear oh lord what can I say about Zetsu? Zetsu is an absolute shit show of a student. Black Zetsu I can see as being very academic focussed, with their favourite subjects being religion, politics and some form of economics. I imagine they’d be very active within school politics/religious scenes, probably the head of some sort of group for both.

Black Zetsu would also be interested in applying for positions such as Head of Year, Class Representative and anything similar. They’re a big control freak and as a result have basically 0 friends. People would find them overbearing and awful to be around. They’re the incredibly opinionated kid who dismisses anything which they don’t personally agree with.

White Zetsu on the over hand, hoo boy. Class clown obviously. The living bane of Black Zetsu. If Black Zetsu wants class representative then you know people will vote for white Zetsu instead because he’s infinitely more popular. He’s incredibly weird but in such an innocent and goofy way they’d have a large group of friends. They wouldn’t be popular per say, but they’d be friends with practically everyone.

Their favourite subject would probably be biology because sex jokes, but I also think they’d enjoy English because uhh… Sex jokes. I just can’t see White Zetsu taking school even slightly seriously.

He basically lives in the art department. If you walk near him he will tag along and start talking to you about art, it doesn’t matter who you are you will be forced to listen to his speech.

Incredibly confident and has no issue starting a conversation with anyone. He's definitely the type of person who every time you see him he'd be with a completely different group of people, whether they want him there or not.

Despite his weird constant art rants he'd be the life and soul of the party. He's always fun to be around purely because of how much energy he has. He'd be the kid who makes everyone laugh completely on accident, although people would probably be laughing more at him than with him.

He'd probably get invited to lots of places by other kids just so he could be the butt of every joke. He wouldn't mind though, he'd brush it off and probably enjoy the attention he gets from it.

Most of his friends would end up being people who know nothing about art though, all the students who participated in any artistic subjects would stay far away in fear of him starting another argument about art.

If the art class ever does clay his has to be put in the kiln separately because it always blows up. He also has a habit of 'accidentally' damaging other people's art if he dislikes it. Eventually he would mellow out and start appreciating other forms.

Nobody knows who he is, people will have sat next to him for years and won't even know his name. The amount of times his name is called in the register and people will pipe up with "who's that?" or "didn't he move to another school?" is genuinely concerning. He doesn't care though, he'd rather go through school completely unnoticed.

Excels at all subjects (besides sports, he's never showed up to a PE lesson because of 'health reasons') despite putting very little effort into academics. His favourite subjects would be biology and math. He'd absolutely hate art as a subject, preferring to do art in his free time rather than make it into a chore at school. He'd have been put in Deidara's class at least once and it would have completely ruined all enjoyment of art as a subject for him. He'd also hate any subjects which prompt discussion such as English or sociology, he doesn't have any opinions on them and he doesn't care to listen to anyone else's.

Honestly, dude is the definition of a background character at school. He just simply does not exist, and I have mad respect for him. On the off chance anyone even tried to speak to him he'd probably completely ignore them, the only communication he has at school is through emails with teachers. He has 0 interest in making friends when they have nothing in common with him.

Another character sort of hard to pinpoint. He’d probably be somewhat similar to White Zetsu, but not quite as popular. He’d be a right teachers pet, with few friends his own age. He’d probably spend spend all his breaks and lunches with teachers in their classrooms, offering to help them with display boards etc.

Despite being a teachers pet he wouldn’t be academic whatsoever. He’d always try his best but bless him, he’s terrible at every subject and ends up constantly making a fool of himself. He’s definitely the sort to raise his hand to make a really great point, but his really great point is basically repeating the lesson objective. When studying of mice of men he definitely asked “what’s the name of Curly’s wife’s husband?”

His favourite subject, regardless of his ineptitude would be drama. He’d always be the most melodramatic and over the top in every character he played, not really caring what other people thought of him. In fact, that’s probably his best feature. Despite his lack of popularity he’d always unapologetically be himself, his goofy and over the top self.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

If we’re thinking more about Obito, I’d like to imagine for the sake of this headcanon Tobi is what he’s like during lower school years and then suddenly one summer he comes back and he’s completely matured into this foreign character unrecognisable to nobody.

He’d become incredibly serious, forgoing the role of energetic teachers pet to a much more muted one. He’d still be just as terrible at all his lessons, and still spend most of his time around teachers rather than others his age but he’d no longer have that fun spark. He’d probably start caring greatly about what people thought of him so his latter years would be trying to stay under the radar completely.

[emtown]

1. What have you eaten today? Two bites of matcha green tea ice cream, kettle popcorn, pizza. 2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? ... 3. What color shoes did you last wear? White and silver. 4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? Andrew, my older brother. 5. What is your favorite scent? Paddywax apothecary candle in amber & smoke. Like Washington in a candle. 6. What is your favorite season? Why? Fall, for its colors, and colder (but not in Texass) mornings. 7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? Ha no. 8. What color are your nails? Normal nail color? 9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? I guess a lyric from George Ezra. 10. What is something you find romantic? Talking to someone and realizing what they want is also what you want. Like I was talking to someone who said they liked to cuddle and I was like !!! 11. Are you happy? No. 12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? Happy to be leaving this fucking state in two weeks. Sad knowing there's a future where I won't see my friends anymore. 13. Dogs or Cats? Dogs. 15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? Forest for pictures, museum for inspiration, library to write, a night club to feel uncomfy. 15. What is your style? Jeans and a shirt. Once I'm skinny I'll have a more defined style. 16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? In Seattle. Always. 17. Are you in a relationship or single? Single. 18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? Smile. 19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? George Ezra, what a beautiful man. 20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? Yeah. I wrote an essay about it thinking I'd get over it but lol nope. 21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? I worked. 22. Have you recently made any big decisions? Accepting that I'm going to grad school in Texass. 23. Were you ever in a school play? A bunch of them. We did High School Musical in sixth grade. I was a walkabye. I wanted to be Gabriella soooo bad. 24. What movie would you use to describe your life? Perks of Being a Wallflower is a close identifier. 25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? Move to Seattle. Not enough money or a job lined up. No security. 26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” a sunset with. 27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? Some girls try way too hard to be cool. Shrill. 28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? THEY CAN'T READ MY DAMN MIND. 29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? Talking to four people at once while driving back home. It makes me feel popular. 30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? That I'm not in Seattle when other people are living the life I want. 31. How long was your longest relationship? Let's replace this with friendship: 12 years. 32. Have you ever been in love? A false love, yes. 33. Are you currently in love? No. 34. Why did your last relationship end? Replaced with friendship: I manipulated her. 35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? None. 36. When was the last time you cried and why? Maybe a few days ago and I was dissociating. 37. Name someone pretty. Anna! 38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? Nothing haha. 39. Do you get jealous easily? Yeah. But I know when to not be jealous. 40. Favorite song currently? Faded Fluorescence by Lights and Motion. 41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? Yeah. 42. Ever had detention? Once I got sent to AC for being out of dress code but I didn't go because I didn't know where it was. 43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? City. 44. What do people call you? Emily. Or Em Jem, as Aaron says. 45. What was the last book you read? Started Infinite Jest. 46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? Not much. 47. What kind of music do you listen to? Inspirational sappy shit. 48. How tall are you? 5'2. 49. Do you like kids? Not really. 50. Favorite fruits? Strawberries, pineapples, bananas. 51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? I would love to just wear sweats all the time and look like an aesthetic, but I'm a blob right now. 52. What’s your earliest memory? I go back to this one a lot: swinging on the playground in my hometown, my brother one over, and the summer breeze hits my face and I watched other kids run around the place. 53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? I wrote a poem and someone composed music to the lyrics, if that counts. But no one has written a thing specifically to me, and I'd like that. 54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it. I have a vision that no one can recreate when they shoot me. 55. Do you have a collection of anything? David Gray cds, nonfiction books. 56. Do you save money or spend it? I like to save but I'm not afraid to spend it. 57. What would your dream house be like? Balcony, no basement. Alcove in the middle flight of stairs. Open kitchen. Sun room. Evergreens in the backyard. Porch. Big windows. 58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? Idiot customers, show offs, people who emphasize "crap" and "fuck," people who misperceive me when I didn't hear them correctly, lazy readers/writers in workshops. 59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? Seeing Chyrell at work, crow's feet by the eyes, funny Tumblr posts, the sunset, receiving the news that a piece got accepted to a journal. 60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? It's a doggo. I'd save it. 61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? Move to Seattle. Tell everyone. Take a ferry every day. Visit my favorite places. I'd be scared but at peace knowing when it'd happen. 62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Broken but in the process of being repaired. 63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Seattle; Iceland; London; Australia. 64. Do you like the beach? Yeah, but only for sunrise/set. 65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? No, but wouldn't it be nice!! 66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! Sarah. Such a white name. 67. Do you talk to yourself? When I drive and someone pisses me off. 68. Describe your hair. Long and brown and in need of a cut or re color. 69. What is the meaning of life. BOI. Don't ask me this. 70. What is your ideal partner like? Charming. Laughs a lot. Makes me feel comfortable. Makes me feel validated. 71. Do you want to get ice cream right now? Ooh yeah. 72. When was the last time you redecorated your room? At home it's been a while. Since tenth grade maybe. 73. Like or dislike your family? I only like maybe five people in my family, and the rest can go elsewhere. 74. Are you Chunky or Slim? Chunky of course. 75. Would you consider yourself smart? In some areas yeah. But otherwise I'm pretty dumb. 76. What would you change about your life? I wouldn't live in Texass. 77. Religious or Not? Not really. 78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? What is this question asking 79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? It could be if we replace that with a person I dreamed about. 80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? No. 81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? At Denny's and playing this question game. 82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Again, it'd be weird. 83. Do you like when people play with your hair? Yeah. 84. Do you like bubble baths? No. 85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? Yeah. Speeding ticket. 86. Have you ever danced in the rain? No, but please do that with me. 87. Do you trust anyone with your life? Used to. And actually, yeah, one of my professors know way more about me than even my parents do. He knows how my mind works. 88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? Chapstick. 89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) Maybe like three places in Canada, Iceland, London, Amsterdam, New Zealand, a tropical place like St. Bart's, Seattle, New York City. 90. How was your day today? Eh. Lazy. Submitted to a bunch of places. 91. Play an instrument? No. 92. Describe what you think of the ocean. Terrifying. 93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Ghosts. 94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? Not at all. 95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? Yeah. It rarely reveals itself. 96. When are you vulnerable? In my essays. Some Facebook posts. 97. How much free time do you have? A lot now. 98. Do you like to go hiking? Yeah, maybe. 99. Odd or Even Numbers? My favorite number is 5. 100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? I tried to snorkel and I had a panic attack in the water. But I would try it again! More sunscreen next time.