#he's making gay jokes even tho he's straight

[tacky-optic]

The agony of being able to go through an entire tumblr tag from start to finish.... ANYWAY. we're back with more food for the hat trick niche ft. rare JigZeni pachislot (zeni acknowledges jigen for 0.1 seconds and jigen forgot he was there even tho he's driving)

One thing I like about rarepairs is the flexibility. They're a headcanon/hypothetical breeding ground of potential without having to sacrifice too much of the character's integrity, because they rarely ever talk/barely have a relationship to launchpad off of! yaay :'D

So let's talk about how! Five how's, actually. Might've gotten a bit carried away with this one.

As with anything involving these two, somehow, some way, it always circles right back around to Lupin. It kind of has to, given their shared obsession and/or dedication with the guy. But that can split up into all sorts of scenarios, with some equally varied results (and some exceptions!)

~ Getting together in spite of Lupin

In which Lupin's basically that "I messed up so bad that I turned my girl date gay/my guy date straight" joke but everyone's still queer and it's just his partner hooking up with his rival because of how much he's been frustrating them both lately (and oops the proxy hate sex turns out to be really good) INHALES. Does that even make any sense.

I'm sorry but Lupin fumbling the ball is just so funny to me. It is a bit deeper than that, obviously, and this'd have some weird love triangle logistics because Jigen and Zenigata are still hopelessly in love with Lupin, in their own ways. But dipping into that is always complicated and messy-- JUST HOW WE LIKE IT.

This one definitely has the most jealousy on all fronts. For me, there's always this little asterisk on the JigLup/LuZeni pairings because someone's getting left out. Tell me Zenigata's chest wouldn't ache every time he watches Lupin and Jigen escape, an arm slung over the other's shoulder, cheek to cheek, laughs fading off into the cold, lonely night. Tell me Jigen wouldn't hate waiting in the Fiat for Lupin to lose his dogged hunter, mind wandering as to why he's taking so damn long. He grits his jaw when Lupin finally saunters up, victoriously spinning yet another pair of handcuffs on his pointer finger.

There's a silent rivalry for Lupin's attention that they might not even realize is going on until they blow up at each other about it.

It's difficult to tell if Lupin is being genuine or just messing around, especially for Zenigata. He asks Jigen how he deals with him, how he deals with.... everything. Just everything. The "will they won't they"s and the "does he really mean it"s. How does he stay so collected all the damn time. Jigen says he doesn't have a single friggin' clue. Maybe they make out sloppy style about it. Maybe they keep meeting up to vent, drink, exist in each other's company. During chases, Zenigata keeps dipping after Jigen instead of Lupin more and more often. Lupin's standing on a rooftop Pulp Fiction John Travolta style wondering where the fuck everyone went.

Ohhh jealous Lupin, where have you gone. Where did the tms writers hide your unchecked narcissistic ego. The other points after this support Supportive Lupin in some capacity but this one does not. The slow-burn's done slow-burning but it ain't over yet, baby. There's trouble in paradise and its name is Lupin the Third. He is Not Enjoying This. The two guys that are always looking at him aren't looking at him anymore and that just won't do. Drama ensues.

~ Getting together because of Lupin

Matchmaker Lupin! This is if Lupin's relationships with Jigen and/or Zenigata are more platonic-leaning (which is totally valid). The paired fics in Disreputable Company nail this dynamic perfectly imo. But as far as my own separate take goes....

They're both just so. So emotionally constipated. Intentionally or not, Jigen's been screwed over in the romantic interest department to many times that he's intentionally reduced his acquaintance list to how many fingers he's got on his right hand. Zenigata practically unloaded an entire clip into his foot as far as maintaining healthy family/friend relationships go. Spoilers for Zenigata Keibu, but he 100% knew what he was saying when he told Haruka he'd go back to her once he caught Lupin (I can never be yours), and that Zenigata's supposed to be the freest one! Bound not necessarily to Lupin specifically, but to The Chase forever.

Anyway. Jigen and Zenigata are Isolated. The fact that someone would consider them attractive is so foreign that they'd think its some kind of sick joke or ruse to screw them over instead of anything that could ever be even remotely genuine. They need someone to shove them out of their little self-made paranoia bubbles, and Lupin just loves to meddle in people's businesses. I dunno. I just think he'd think it's funny.

*dramatic finger point* "haha zenigata, you are banging my partner!!" "you... you tricked us into our first date? made the reservations?? th- the tailored suits???" "lu you friggin roller-skated out in a waiter outfit and immediately bought us the most expensive top-shelf booze they offered. not even remotely conspicuous about it" "lol yeah. good times"

He's just happy two of his favorite humans are finally getting laid for once, y'know?

~ Getting together for Lupin

Jigen and Zenigata are forced to team up. Okay, this scenario only goes down if 1) Lupin goes missing or is KO'd for a prolonged period of time or 2) the Truce demands they separate for a while. On top of seeing this play out in other fics, my good friend duke and I have been messing around with (a variant of) this idea for a while now (aka they've been letting me run around in their au Rampant and Unchecked. ty duke).

In ""canon"", if these two were to become at the very least amicable towards each other, this'd be the way to do it. In all honesty (and my personal bias for them aside), I'm genuinely shocked they haven't done this before. Not even an episode, tms? That 4-ish minute block in POTP is all you're giving me? One bar chat in the kobayashi sendoff ep. Okay. I'm not miffed i swear

Like I mentioned in this previous post, the idea of the two of them being able to function together without Lupin as a crutch is upsetting at first. They're used to following him to the Ends of the Earth and they're used to him living rent-free in their heads. They've convinced themselves that they're hopeless on their own, that if he disappeared for good they'd just go back to being two husks vaguely shaped like humans meandering around with no meaningful north star to head towards. Don't get me wrong, if the situation was Bad, Goemon and Fujiko would be devastated, too. But they could move on, albeit with a heavy heart. They're kind of known for heading out on their own should the situation call for it. But Jigen and Zenigata are in for the long-haul for better or for worse, whether they like it or not (they do not).

They're on edge the whole time. Hostile towards each other and passive-aggressive at best to any unfortunate folk they have to interact with on this stupid side quest they've been unwillingly shunted onto together.

It helps immensely that they're both "cut that out" people to anyone but themselves, because they can be that for each other. There's a lot of bickering/conflicts of interest and methodology. "You're being too harsh", "You're one to talk", "You're so goddamn stubborn", "You're such a hypocrite", etc etc. But holy shit they're so freakishly effective together, to a frankly terrifying degree-- maybe even moreso than with Lupin because they're honing the fuck in and nothing else-- no banter or bullshit-- and that's what gets them through to the end. Maybe it helps them come to terms with whatever sort of issues they've got going on, maybe it doesn't. Bare minimum, they come out of this with newfound understanding of each other. At max, uh.... see the point after this next one.

~ Lupin-adjacent

A shift in fixation. The slightest glance, the slightest exchange of eye contact for a second too long, the briefest moment of consideration, and the thoughts start spiraling. This is "in spite of Lupin" without the spite. The urge to know absolutely everything about someone, down to the marrow, just gets shifted a little bit to the right onto another guy. It's just them, in-between heists, with barely any mention of the Chase and anyone else involved therein. Their own little adventure away from the status quo. It's weird at first, sure, but it's new and exciting and real dang nice having things not revolve exclusively around him for once. It's a shot for Jigen to mess with Zenigata for once and the closest thing to a willing vacation Zenigata can get. Win-win! Well. Sorta.

The loneliness, though-- that's what makes itself most prevalent during the in-between times. They really don't have much left outside of the Usual. Forgetting the bare essentials, days blending together, moving around the masses like a ghost.... it's familiar, and it's common, not being sure whether they actually like someone or they're just desperately lonely. Zenigata wallows in it, Jigen shoves it down. They've got images to keep. but getting noticed for what they are is simultaneously the worst thing to ever happen and the highlight of their day. Real wholesome bonding material, ain't it

"I tracked you down for only you". "I dragged you into this issue because I want you here". "You get it".

~ Secret fifth thing

*points at playbohz mag* "lol wouldn't it be funny if zenigata was jigen's type??" *points at y series, miyazaki's zeni, island of assassins, that one manga where they put him in a tshirt, etc* "oh my god zenigata is jigen's type."

It's just a one-night stand lmao. I feel like I see this one a fair bit too, mostly because it's super duper simple and doesn't require a crap-ton of emotional angst setup just to get them into the same bed. It's the above point diluted into, like, an afternoon lmao. It doesn't have a lot of depth by design. Curiosity gets the better of both of them, plain and simple. They get buzzed enough at a bar, skip off to some motel to do what they gotta do one time and never speak of it again.

A part of me likes that, but another part of me in the deep deep recesses of my psyche is hollering "TACKY YOU GOTTA TURN THIS INTO THE SPITE BULLETPOINT!!!"

NO. For this one they get one nice hookup and THAT'S THAT. Sorry not sorry.

Maybe it's easier because there's actually something to decipher. There isn't some esoteric idea of "Lupin the Third, Gentleman Thief"; a mystery man(?) with a million little gadgets and masks and smiles; this unwavering, unpredictable force of chaos that likes taking shiny things from one place and hiding them somewhere else over and over again with no real rhyme or reason.

It's easier to find solace in turning to the guy next to you and going, "what do you think that is?" than in going up to "that" and poking it with a stick in hopes it'll give some sort of answer. "That" won't. "That" likes watching you guys flounder around together too much :)

[dykedvonte]

This was an ask from skull anon I accidently posted early so ignore that here is it actually completed. Crew voice claim first!

Anya - Janine Ditullo. She doesn't really have any big roles but she's Brendan's mom from the show Home Movies. She's snarky in a way I think Anya would be before anything went down.

Curly - Craig T Nelson. Specifically as his role Coach. Think he also has a sort of middle age voice

Daisuke - Greg Cipes but specifically when he's voicing Kevin Eleven as a teen and his voice has that deeper register. I think he just sounds a little punkish.

Jimmy - Steve Buscemi specifically in Parting Glances. I don't think his voice is loud but more shrill? He's a nasally fellow to me whose voice is intimidating because it shouldn't be so when he says stuff it just sound wrong. Like Randall Boggs. He'd be on his kin list. He's scarier when he's quiet.

Swansea - Ed O'Neill just because I think Jay (Modern Family) fits his general demeanor but also Al (Married with Children). Sort of rough, dry and tired but with that sort of comfort only a dad could have.

Now for other general stuff:

Anya knows how to finger quilt, tried to show Daisuke but he just can't get it, secretly smug about it.

Curly is like a gym bro sim. A good distressor for him is either jogging around the Tulpar or like working out like a freak in his room.

Daisuke has a shitty moped he bought himself after a summer of mowing lawns. It was his first purchase with his own real money and he got attached cause his parents were super proud!

He also thinks it makes him look badass even though it sputters every time he starts it.

Swansea likes taking pictures with his family and wife and even the crew but treats it like a whole ordeal. Fusses about people fixing their faces but is always happy with the results no matter how goofy

Jimmy refused to let Anya sleep in medical after crash. He explained it as not wanting to "disturb" Curly...

Swansea once accidently called Daisuke one of his kids names when he got irritated with him. Made the kids day in a way

Curly does not react to any level of sour, likes citrus and calls it sweet and refreshing, war heads are like jolly ranchers to him.

Anya has a very nice singing voice and Daisuke happily jokes and encourages her to get into the indie scene. Did choir as a kid

Jimmy knows a bit of Spanish through osmosis from jobs he's worked. Mostly knows how to talk shit and directions

Tells Curly he's mostly just saying basic stuff but its real vitriolic towards him that he just translates to like general compliments/jokes. He is still just a WHITE man

Anya reads who done it mystery murder books and makes fun of all the obvious twists and how they glaze the detective MC.

Curly lets Jimmy sit in the Captain's seat because when he doesn't Jimmy is noticeably meaner and more scathing to him.

Anya was planning to get a cat after a conversation with Curly about feeling lonely living in her apartment. Was gonna name it Polle as an in joke before everything happened....

Sexuality speed round: Anya is bi no real preference, very open about it. Curly doesn't label himself and kinda just goes with the moment. Daisuke is bi but a larger preference for girls, has a friend that everyone thinks he dating tho. Swansea had experiences in his youth and that's all he'll say on it other than a few comments here or there. Jimmy is straight but in a way where you here him talk about gay people and know he's current experiences... like the other day.

Yeah heres some more I always hold back cause like what if y'all don't want all of them at once? I think they all had family dinner as a crew but it always felt like an awkward thanksgiving with your family from a wide political spectrum... ergo Jimmy always said some shit and make someone storm off from the table.

[inahallucination]

famous au but um dumb

@cowboylexapro

if the poets were on social media and famous this is what they'd be known for

(age somewhere between 19-21)

todd

tumblr blog name: toad.anderson

ao3 name: toad.writes

he's technically anon but not rlly

sexiest tumblr account known to man - he's a fanfic writer and an au poster with some occasional og stuff that floods his inbox with asks begging him to publish his og work too - what fandom does he write for? all of them.

his bf proof reads them all even if he's never been in the fandom

he writes fics for his friends when they get famous

in between his novel worthy fanfics are shitty fics of his friends

his followers get rlly confused

he wrote a neil x reader fic until straight girls started claiming it and he took it down becuz the reader was him

todd on his blog: guyss… im so sorry but im taking the neil x reader fic down… im sorry if i offend anyone but the reader was me ❤️ not you - i don't like you all claiming it

after taking down the x reader, he does a neil x oc but the oc is him but with green eyes

neil, after the oc gets described: todd the only person im seeing is u tho 😦 and u have blue eyes

eventually his relationship with famous tiktoker neil perry gets revealed and ppl realize he's not just an obsessed fan

after neil says the thing blog: toad.anderson: guys my real name is todd anderson everyone: omg we wouldve never guessed

after neil and him go public and ppl dont believe that neil is gay he alternates between seething and writing neil fics and taking joy from neil's confusion

todd points out comments that are obviously thirsting over neil and neil still doesn't realize he's being thirsted over

"neil be the father of my children!" "oh i think they meant that in a godfather type way"

todd, at a breaking point, suggests that neil and him post a kissing video but neil doesnt wanna be one of those shawn camilla couples - respect

what if he posted them kissing but he made a historians will call them bestfriends joke but then ppl did🧍‍♂️

"my bestie and I 🤩 " "NEIL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK UR SERIOUS"

//

neil

tiktok name: neilliard.at.julliard

accidentally tiktok famous for pretty face, charming personality, acting abilities - the theater kids had a claim over him orignially but he's pretty mainstream now

comment section full of old grandmas trying to set him up with their granddaughters

everyones dream bf until he posted about his own bf

neil: my boyfie has a big tumblr and he writes a lot and he really likes frogs and he is also blond and heres his address

hes kinda oblivious about everything

"you want a close up of my collar bones? why ?"

reading comment "'show your abs?' its nice you think i have abs! only my boyfriend can see those tho 😉 "

the comments go wild

people are stitching it screaming for different reasons

all his fans r screaming into pillows bc HES TAKEN NOOO

people are trying to figure out who this mans boyfie is

"he has a boyfriend??" "he's been straightbaiting us!" "NOO HE'S TAKEN" "IS UR BF AS HOT AS U" "look at the way his eyes lit up when he said bf i love love" "this video shows an aspect of society that-"

"tell us about ur bf" and he makes a week worth of videos but its all random stuff

"my bf looks pretty in blue" "my bf likes to put salt and pepper on his fries" "my bf has hair"

the straightbaiting comments come after him posting about pride and having a pride flag in the background of his videos <- they say things like "he's such a good ally"

people attack others in the comments who ask him if hes queer "NO NEIL ISNT GAY NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY HE COULD JUST BE A REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FRUITY STRAIGHT GUY WHO LIKES GIRLS"

"are you gay neil???" -> "not everything has to be gay ppl can just be allys and btw by assuming every ally is gay, ur actually hurting the movement!!!" -> "i asked becuz he said he wanted to kiss his boy best friend on the lips in highschool" -> "he meant it heterosexual-ly"

someone asks him what his type is and he describes todd to the t and they think he likes a short haired blonde

"he likes girls in sweat pants not skirts" "his type isnt ppl in skirts" -- neil would love todd in a skirt but thats not the point

his type: "he's really shy, gorgeous, short dirty blonde hair, uhhhh, really smart, and So much more :))"

he could say my boyfriend is a man who i am dating because i am gay and they would still try to straight-ify him

a grainy video gets leaked of a short haired blond guy jumping into his arms and ppl say things like "its just a girl with short hair"

todd hate writes a neil x male reader fic

he asks his friends for help and they post todd's face everywhere on his recording set

he makes a video like "meet my toddy"

in the video todd says he's a boy and he's todd and he's neil boyfriend 3485757 times and neil is like "omg babe i love u too <33" becuz he doesnt Understand

some ppl r still in denial or think he's bi w/ a preference for girls

straight girls like him becuz he has a pretty face and a general respect for women

during prom season, he gets dmed a lot of websites for buying prom tickets

"don't worry guys! i know i said my high school time was rough, but i actually did go to prom with my bf!!"

//

charlie

twitter name: therealalpha

most popular podcast name: daltons intercourse

joke/bait account ppl took seriously

The Alpha that other alpha posters bow to

says stuff like "SIGMA MALES KISS ALPHAS ON THE MOUTH TO ASSURT DOMINANCE"

the twitter alphas buy into him so bad he's making podcasts and doign interviews and he has no clue how tf he got here but he's riding the high

he advocates for being alpha via kissing ur homies

when he gets famous he begs todd to write a fic about him

todd agrees pretty easily tbh

"ARE YOU EVEN AN ALPHA MALE IF PPL AREN'T WRITING GAY FICS ABOUT YOU"

charlie posts things like "no homo" "only the real make out with their homies" over those black and white pics of muscle-y dudes w/ no context after the neil video he posts "he homo" over one of them w/ no context

at first ppl try to attack him but then theyre like wtf is going on here and realize he's trolling the alpha community

when no one realizes neil is actually gay he makes a podcast episode talking about how he thinks neil is gay gay homosexual gay - he's holding a cigar and wearing a tight hawaiian unbuttoned shirt like "lets talk about this gay gay theater gay boykisser man"

made by @cowboylexapro

//

pitts

youtube name: gerdoesstuff

joint youtube name: idkman

homework help and crafts videos youtuber - relaxed vibes only here to be calm

he gives study and concentration tips and encourages ppl to seek help and companionship and not suffer alone

he paints mugs and looks for bugs

he was on charlie's podcast and they discussed the alpha-ness of making pottery

todd wrote a pitts x reader fic becuz ppl begged him to

pitts printed it out and framed it and put it in his filming set up

he's a regular on meeks podcast too btw and meeks is a regular on his

but when meeks is around things explode so

he has a second channel with meeks where they do silly experiments

theyre posting schedule is non-existent and they also do streams but they never tell you so their viewers just have to hope and find out

knox and him are planning on making a movie review channel but its still not fully thought out so

he makes couple mugs for todd and neil when neil asks for help

he wakes up at 2 am and sends todd prompts

anytime he learns a fun fact he sends it to todd on the off chance todd may need it for a story at some point in his life

anytime he reads anything he's like damn neil will love to act like this character and lets him know about it

he sends charlie alpha podcasters to make fun of

at some point he exposes cam's shitty handwriting for the giggles

knox

instagram name: knoxious.ur.mom.ious

he posted a short on his instagram talking about how he just learned hair grows from the head and not the bottom and blew up for being a dummy - he doesn't know whats going on but he's having a blast

he stirs up drama but on accident

he was on pitts youtube before

out of everyone here he's the only one not making content he's just vibing

eventually he ends up posting background footage of everyone doing dumb shit

when it comes out theyre friends ppl stalk his instagram to find more proof

after that he starts to stir drama but more consciously

hmm what else - idk he's just chilling, getting called out for being dumb and watching his friends do dumb stuff

oh wait when he makes that short about the hair a bunch of commentary channels post about it and he takes it like a badge of honor

cameron

instagram name: cam.studies

pinterest name: cam.studies

one of those aesthetic studying accounts on insta and pinterest - takes nice shots of his homework and his pen collections and his study desk

except its only for the pics his handwriting is atrocious - he has like one page or paragraph of pretty handwriting to post and the rest is scribbled chaos - his pens are never organized by color, theyre just thrown in a box, and his desk is filled with papers and books and never looks clean but its fine he's just here for clout

he ends up sponsoring and reviewing businesses that make those cute study supplies so now he has a hoard - or at least he did until his friends started taking them

he groaned about the cam.studies x {random ass ppl} fics todd wrote but he thinks theyre funny and has them bookmarked

he went on charlie's podcast and the two argued for half of it and then explained how as two alphas they would settle their differences by kissing

his friends help him angle his aesthetic shots at cafes and shit

he got exposed eventually as a fake becuz ppl (cough) posted his real notes which were messy and disorganized

but he played it off as a commentary about how the internet is fake and got more sponsorships

he judges todd and neil but is eating popcorn at the front seat of the drama

meeks

podcast name: chameleon hotel

youtube channel name: idkman

meeks makes a podcast for very stupid intricate crimes. he has a cult following of bisexuals

its stuff like drama over a tree being taken down

"the locals even called their beloved tree 'ole alvin'"

charlie: todd write a meeks x ole alvin fic

he has standards, so he does

he went on charlie's podcast and convinced ppl that being with other men allowed u to suck in their alpha-ness and become the ultimate alpha

but generally he just makes his little silly videos and makes cryptic posts about the neil todd drama

has a joint channel w/ pitts

is up to date with the neil thing and is the one to send neil updates

he tries to convince neil to act out his podcasts (with a lot of success lmao)

he tries to convince todd to write fics based on his podcasts (also with a lot of success)

as payback for the ole alvin x meeks fic he convinces todd (very easily) to write a bunch of dumb charlie fics and todd agrees becuz he has standards

no one actually knows that the poets know each other

they eventually post a group photo

"we need to cancel neil perry for being friends with an alpha podcast guy" "nah thats just charlie"

"yall know hes bi, right?"

"he literally has a podcast about how sucking dick as a man makes u the ultimate alpha male"

it does explain why charlie's alpha podcast go from tiktok actor, tumblr fanfic writer, instagram study blog, fellow podcaster, hw help tiktoker in between his satire of normal alpha tiktokers

half of these things are like copy and pasted from our conversation btw so dont blame me for them

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[argetcross]

Started Hades 2 for an hour tonight. Documenting some thoughts:

1. Melinoë is so baby. I can't. That's my daughter. The fixation on the school assignment where if you get a failing grade, you feel like you'll die? That's her life. She feels like a high schooler.

2. I want to make a joke that every woman that ever met Persephone went gay for her but she married the worst straight man you can imagine. Can't believe they had to imprison her along with her husband to make saving Hades a worthy emotional goal.

3. I feel like there's a lot of American-flavored British boarding school character tropes so far. I can't believe Nemesis VA delivery so far is serving the mean jock of the school. It's deeply funny. Hecate is pronounced the way I don't like but I'll live (the emphasis is on the wrong syllable).

4. Apollo sounded exactly what I expected. A win for my ongoing Apollo characterization.

5. I like magic circles (the cast). If I could just fight with magic circles, I would.

6. Poseidon being hot is deeply distressing to me. I would like him to stop.

7. Odysseus. I'm glad they updated his design from the previews. He's hilarious. I feel like the disconnect I have between Hades!Odysseus and Odyssey!Odysseus is just going to be the Achilles stuff all over again but even more confusing. Can't believe he wasn't Skelly in the end tho, but I'm not mad about Skelemachus....

[yonpote]

as someone who wasnt here at the time (was a fan from about 2011-2013) what exactly defines the "softlaunch era" pre-coming out that i hear you and others refer to?

you've come to the right place cuz this is the era when i truly became a Phannie... "gay softlaunch" is generally considered 2017-18, but to be more specific it was october 31, 2016-june 13, 2019!

before they came out this was also referred to as "post-baking universe" referencing the halloween 2016 monster pops video that had an (at the time) abnormal amount of raunchy humor and just general derangedness. nothing like it is today, but that point felt very significant and dan even brought it up in liveshows like yeah idk what happened there and when phil called a peach an ass in a gaming video dan said "we live in a post-baking universe" (i believe fans coined the term tho).

people have also called it the "glass closet era" which is a divisive name for a lot of people cuz "glass closet" can be seen as kind of a mean term and it implies like, stereotyping or speculating or the "we been knew" behavior dan had talked about in BIG. which i understand that feeling, but i don't think that's what was happening, because the way i see it was queer flagging. ways they could show a little bit who they really were without saying it just yet. they weren't Out out, but they were just like. openly talking about attraction to men and finding men hot and not calling it a Man Crush or anything. dan would bring up queerness more often in liveshows, which hes mentioned queer artists and stuff before but now it was also making jokes about like.. being in a gas leak man porn fantasy in his first livestream of 2017 LMAO. phil would make a lot more innuendos, which hes always done, but now he wasnt pretending like he didnt know what he was saying. dan started wearing a single hoop earring on his right ear. this is an old school form of queer flagging, in The Olden Days (im too lazy to look up when but like my 70-something year old history teacher knew about this) if a man had an earring on his left ear, he's straight, and if he had one on his right, he's gay. that one's pretty subtle if you don't know much about queer history and there were Great Debates over whether or not we should take it to mean he is gay, but personally i saw it as like. he was letting us know without needing to say the G word out loud just yet!

i think a really important part of this era was even outside of directly discussing queerness, they were both trying to become more authentic online and figuring out how to do that without compromising their own privacy. dan stopped straightening his hair and rebranded and opened up about his mental health. phil's authenticity journey seemed a bit slower and wasn't as overt or seemingly drastic as dan's was, but it was happening! he changed up his hair!!! which yes its kinda silly to talk abt dnp's hair but the emo fringe was Their Brand. phil in particular said that, the emo fringe was a comfort place but he was feeling like he was trapped in having it forever because it was Who He Was, so it was a huge deal for him! he opened up a little bit about his physical health, both of them were a bit more honest about all the stress and anxiety they were dealing with (the mukbang is a pretty good video where they talk about that and an interesting one to watch in retrospect) and their whole 2018 tour was themed around whether they should Give The People What They Want or do what they wanted to do.

god i talk too much ANYWAY then dan disappeared in 2019 and phil was manning the helm for a good five and a half months and then the Big Gay hit! the Hard Launch Era if you will :) and now i would say 2023-present is the Unhinged Era so i have no clue what the hell their next move is gonna be...

[baby-xemnas]

🐯🐻‍❄️ big big love (sort of a draft i want to make into a comic but itll take so long im scared)

pre rship lawbepo - the thought that the boys could suggest law gets into a relationship - ofc while joking that theyd be sad to share captains time with a woman, but it cant be helped! - bepo overhearing and getting upset....ofc law dismisses it, but it still hurts

does captain need a romantic relationship? would it make him happier, does he feel incomplete? its awfully selfish to not want it to happen then ..but where does that leave HIM - bepo chan spiraling into those thoughts... he knew that maybe one day his friendship wont be enough but he couldn't prepare for such a day to come

it would be cute if he didn't even consider himself as a viable sexual partner. they are different races, captain is not gay etc...maybe he rubbed off to a thought of what it would be like to be a cute girl being fucked by law 😳 oh bepo...his thought going there because of logic - okay im a human, and captain is a man, so he would be into a human female, what would that be like? and getting SO embarrassed so quickly because while he knows little about human romance he does know how things work (and how women act around their love interests in literature) so projecting onto that making his head explode. bepo doesnt have time to analyze how he feels he just panics, overwhelmed by the idea and after surprise subsides getting real upset that he is not in fact a human woman...

little did he know that not only its possible but law wants him BADLY. bepo darling he thinks about bending you over and spreading those furry cheeks So Much that if you'd know you would die of embarrassment.

physically it makes no sense cuz hes so big but i love light weight bepo - maybe its the lack of exposure cuz he drinks rarely. but imagine him confessing awkwardly like "haha if i was a human girl i could date captain and never let any other girls near him! 😖" much to 😦😦😦 from the other 3

penshachi: gtg bye (theyll later come back to not find neither law nor bepo cuz theyve gotten back to polar tang to make out in laws cabin. under the guise of "bepo you drank too much we have to go" and when law grabs his hand bepo cant do anything

law is so excited he can barely think straight cuz he only said he doesn't care much for women or human women, trying not to foam at the mouth at the chance with bepo that fell into his lap.

But its an uphill battle how to delicately explain to Bepo that not only Law wants him as he is (male and mink and all) he is the ONLY person he wants. imagine the pressure and fear that he simply misunderstood bepo.

imagine their walk back to the ship from the bar - bepo still tipsy but sobering up from fear because atmosphere got real weird once he said what he said ...and the boys left so they cant even get captain distracted. its just him.

bepo walks behind silent law and anxiety keeps bubbling up to the point bepo starts tearing up because hes not sober so emotions are extra hard to contain and he is so afraid that he ruined everything and what he said will break their relationship now that law knows how he feels. he made it weird and now law hates him 😭

law turning around after he hears bepo sniffle and ofc he puts two and two together

-bepo im not mad or grossed out

-whuh?? 🥺😭

-you dont need to be a girl to keep women away from me you know

-huh??? (at that point bepo is so drowned in worry he forgot what he said)

-you....[sigh] bepo calm down

-sorry...

-if you were a girl you would be my lover?

-dont say it like that captain im sorry its stupid i shouldn't have said it!! 😭😭

-but cant you do it now?

-do what?

-be that

-what, a girl??

-(law closing his eyes in frustration not wanting to call bepo stupid even tho he's being VERY stupid right now) my lover, bepo, it would make me happy if you were my lover now, as you are, you dont need to be a human woman for that

[cue bepo's whole would breaking to the point he almost faints]

[pixlpxie]

That fact that wooyoung and San both said it makes them uncomfortable when people ship them together but people still do it is mind boggling, like San has asked repeatedly for people to stop because he’s uncomfortable with being shipped with other men or with other people in general. Wooyoung just said it’s weird for people to do that, but he doesn’t mind it as much. But San tho, that man went on a three minute rant about it(when he did that live and read fanfics, he saw one of him and wooyoung and he immediately stopped and made his boundaries very clear) and yet this one account on tiktok(idk the @) and a bunch of weirdos keep sexualizing it, especially when that one wanteez ep where they all get drunk, and San had to pee so he held his dick down bc it was getting hard from having to pee, and everyone was saying “it’s bc wooyoung was next to him, they should just kiss already” and shit like that, my favorite one I saw was “whoever gets mad at these is the real problem” and i dont remember the caption of it but it was harmful to wooyoung and san and it was where San was sitting in a bus and he was a lil hard im assuming bc he was adjusting himself (it was a print, he was wearing those sweatpants that show it off) and it was just bizzarre to me that people think this okay when all of them have specifically said to stop. Like I get jokes and shit but that one account isn’t joking, like they want them to be together so bad it pretty much pushed San and wooyoung away from each other for a bit(two weeks straight of barely speaking to each other on camera and not even hugging each other).

You can't ever stop ppl from shipping other ppl i mean you already do that for your irl friends too (im guessing so at least) and even if they tell fans to stop they won't stop. That's the reality. But if this starts to affect their relationship then it becomes a problem because it's no longer just a fan/fandom thing. There can be something going on between them thats more than friendship and as long as they dont confirm anything we won't know. I think the issue with shipping idols is that many people tend to miss what a friendship is and that these idols are from a country where acting 'gay' with your homies is a normal thing lmao 😭 men will fuck each other and then say they're not gay that's exactly the same in korea🧍🏻‍♂️also are you rly good friends if ppl dont think yall gay/j but fr tho friendship is a form of love why do people get weirded out when it looks and feels like love 😭😭 dyk what i mean 🧍🏻‍♂️ if youre gonna ship them do it discreetly and dont force it down their throats 👨🏻‍🦯 let's just hope that their relationship is not hurt bc of the shipping 😔

[greeen-bean]

Trans!Nick Nelson headcanons

He came out/started transitioning quite young, like 7/8 (like jimmy)

His mum was always really supportive and would help him and fight for him

David not so much :/ he would tease him and make "jokes" about it like he does with the bisexuality

and his dad doesn't get it either but sort of goes along with it because he's never there anyway

Both of them definitely give him some toxic masculinity mind set

He has to be big and strong and not emotional etc etc etc

His mum fought for him to get into the boys school

I could imagine him spending a year or so at Higgs maybe before transferring but it doesn't work with my other thoughts on this so let's put a pin in that

He would love playing rugby and as he got older would work more on bulking himself up and getting more muscular to try and hide his more feminine features

At school nobody knows he's trans (other than the teachers and stuff), he looks masculine enough and had been socially living as a boy for so long nobody really notices

(Also are age 11 everyone kinda looks the same and after that kids just go with things)

He's on the rugby team but because of stupid rules of boys and girls playing against each other he isn't actually allowed to play any matches

ACTUALLY I've just looked it up and apparently "In exceptional circumstances, a player over 12 years of age may play on a mixed gender team where no other option in continuing to play Rugby exists." (<- from the World Rugby website, there's more info about it there)

More on that, from what I'm gathering, that is allowed up until age 15, so not really applicable to heartstopper era nick but my point stands

He's on the team, probably still captain/on his way to being captain, but doesn't play matches

Back to regularly scheduled programing

He also gets changed ina separate room

He brushes all of this off with a vague "medical reasons" explanations

Coach Singh is him BIGGEST supporter

She is ride or die for him

If ever anyone makes a comment about anything regarding Nick Nelson she is ON THEM

2 laps round the pitch

3 laps

Anything to get people to stfu because she gets him

He's kinda paranoid about people finding out he's trans and of being thought of as a girl (definitely David's fault)

I can imagine him getting really stressed when he hears about this gay kid being bullied aswell in a like "what would they do to/think of me if they all knew the truth" so he keeps his head down

Same when Elle comes out, he doesn't know her that well and knows he should say something to Harry and everyone but he can't get himself to (more on Elle later)

When he starts hanging round Charlie it's kinda the first time he's being confronted with queerness that isn't his own

He is stuck in this constant loop of "I can't like him because I'm straight and that means I like girls and not boys" and "if I like him does that mean I'm gay? And arnt gay boys usually more feminine? I can't be feminine" and "if I like a boy that's just the same as me being a girl" and "even if I did like him which i definitely do not if Charlie knew the truth he wouldn't like me back because he is gay and likes men and I wouldn't be that"

They do get together tho like they do in the comics and it's fine except Nick hasn't told Charlie that he's trans and can't get himself to, and he feels crazy guilty about it

When Charlie introduces Nick to Elle he is kinda scared of her

In the sense that, he felt so guilty about what happened to her and how he did nothing

But also he's scared she'll figure him out

When Charlie starts talking about Tao and Elle liking each other nick gets confused

Tao is straight and knows Elle is trans so... how is he okay with that?????

Nick starts asking Charlie all these questions about Elle and her transition and her relationship woth Tao

And its not a fight but they have a small disagreement about it

"I get that you're interested but these things you're asking are not your business and they are different not mine to share with you. If you want to know something about Elle then you need to ask her yourself, if she doesn't wanna tell you then drop it"

So nick goes to Elle himself... after building up the courage to do so

He's perfectly respectful and all but Elle understandably gets cagey to begin with

Last thing she needs rn is some rugby lad sticking his nose in somewhere

But she soon catches on that there is something else going, she just doesn't know what

Whist Nick is going through the stages of for the first time ever having someone understand how he feels

He comes out to her

"I'm... I was... um... I'm also... trangender 😶"

And at first Elle thinks he means mtf, and trys to be supportive of that

"No no no... like... I was born um a girl... so the other way"

"Oh. Oh!"

"You're actually the first person I've told about that haha"

And they talk about it, talk about nicks experience and how it's different to Elle and how its the same as elles and how shitty people can be and how wonderful people can be and about how

Also he apologies to her for not saying anything back when she was at truham

She doesn't think it's needed but appreciates it nonetheless

She asks about him not telling anyone else and specifically about Charlie not know

He tells her what he's so scared off and insecure about

"This isn't about Charlie, nick, he doesn't need to know until you're ready to talk about it. Or ever, maybe, if that's how you want you relationship to go."

"Yeah :/"

"And take it from someone who knows Charlie and has known Charlie, he'll be okay with it"

"Yeah :) anyway what about Tao?????c

"Stfu"

And Nick does tell Charlie. But I couldn't tell you how cuz after the conversation with Elle my mind stops thinking so :) i guess we (and Charlie) will never know

[formulapookie]

soo i’m writing a marcmarc fanfiction and Im going to make it multi chapter, it’s going to explore a bit Bez’s internalised homophobia and his path towards the light (fucking with Marc)

and i’m going to upload it both here and on Ao3, if you like it i’d love for you to leave kudos, no pressure tho obv <3

I took a bit of inspiration by @anitalianfrie and some ideas from @yeastinfectionvale because the two of you are the most dangerous marcmarc psychosexual supporters I relate with

Below you can find the fic, if u enjoy reading on Tumblr more than on Ao3❤️

2024 pre-season

It was cold, but still, Marco was sitting outside the ranch, it was around 3 in the morning he supposed, thoughts clouded by the joint he was still finishing up.

He was trying to reflect on something that had been seriously affecting his life lately, or rather much someone.

Marc Marquez.

Since he had signed with Gresini the Spaniard just seemed to continuously pop up into his life, whether it was on track or not, like last week for example, he was out with a group of his friends and who did he meet at the club he went to? Marc Marquez, drinking with a guy he thought was a friend of the man, but the more he thought about it, the more he remembered strange details, like a hand lingering a bit too much or a few glances casted in a very lustful way.

He archived the memory as a made up one, a result of the not so little amount of alcohol he consumed that night.

Plus, Marc had a girlfriend, and even if he didn't, everyone on the grid was straight.

All the jokes, flirty ones even, were always platonic and between friends, he did that too with Pecco, and it wasn’t like he was…gay.

He had had a girlfriend until a few weeks prior, when she decided it would’ve been a good idea to cheat on him and dump him via text of all things.

The joint was coming to an end, and with it all his will to stay outside and freeze, looking for a warm blanket and a snack instead.

Memories grew along with his hunger, and the frames of his mind ran back to the night he saw Marquez at the club.

Shirt buttoned just halfway, a silver necklace adorning his neck and bouncing slightly every time he moved.

His smile, a painfully magnetic one, drawing people to him like moths to a flame, like his eyes, profound and deep.

But what Bez remembered the best were his shoulders.

Broad, muscled, tanned and glowing with sweat, moving up and down rhythmically when he laughed.

If he focused enough, he could remember peeking the outline of one of Marc’s scars from the hem of his shirt, and something similar to a hickey on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, sinfully on display.

Fuck, why did he remember those things? He was pretty sure that a blonde flirted with him that night, he was sure she was hot even, but he couldn’t remember a single detail from her, just from that small fucking bastard

As his mind stopped wandering Bez realized he was back into his room, an half finished protein bar in hand and an obviously painful bulge in his pants.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck how did that happen? was it the blonde? it couldn’t have been Marquez, could it?

The answer came when his dick twitched at the mention of Marc’s name.

cazzo

He was conflicted: should he let it go away on its own or act on it? because he knew the moment he would’ve touched himself thinking of his rival it would’ve been over for him.

Seeing him in the paddock, on insta or at one of the clubs would’ve meant remembering this.

No no no he hated Marquez, this was just the smoke speaking for him, he always got a bit horny after smoking, it wasn’t different from other times.

Except it was. It was so much different, this longing he felt for the older guy, the need he had to just lick his lips and bite down on those delicious looking shoulders, grabbing his neck and crushing their lips together.

Bez also remembered the cologne he was wearing; it smelled like woods and fresh, he didn’t know much about perfumes but that was surely a smell he wasn’t going to forget it easily.

“Maybe it’s not that bad. Just once, one time and then I’ll forget about him”

he thought while sliding into bed and slowly slipping his hand into his pants.

It was embarrassing how quickly he became vocal about it, softly of course because he didn’t want the other guys or worst, Vale, to hear him moan out Marc Marquez’s name and finding him like that.

He stroked his cock with growing speed, twisting his wrist when he came close to the tip, gritting his teeth and grabbing the sheets with his free hand.

“Marc-“ a suffocated plea leaving the boy's mouth, but remaining painfully present in his room, floating around as a curse.

The more he thought about the Spaniard the harder he got, he wanted more more more.

He wanted Marc, in all his stupid perfection, he wanted him to choke on his cock, or bouncing on it, he wanted Marc to be as desperate for him as Bez was for the man.

“Si si si” a trail of words left the boy’s mouth to get lost into the silent and cold night in Tavullia, alongside with Marco’s orgasm, which hit him hard and fast, ropes of white liquid staining his abdomen and part of the sheets.

He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and getting cleaned up, being extra careful not to wake anyone up.

He looked at himself in the mirror, cheeks red, puffy lips and glassy eyes, pupils still blown wide from the smoke and the excitement of the recent jerk off session.

He knows he will have to face what he just did, because what if it wasn’t just Marc? What if it was men in general? Could have he been bisexual? To be fair he was a bit scared to know, what if Vale or one of the guys found it disgusting? what if his family did?

Could’ve he kept that secret for long?

He doesn’t think so, honestly he’s scared of loosing both families at once for something like that.

No no, he ultimately decided.

If he understands he likes guys he’s going to keep it for himself.

It’s going to be better for everyone that way

[ashen-char]

i feel like max would totally freak out during her first gay awakening like... she's always been in heterosexual relationships (+with guys who didn't treat her well btw) so she would totally panic bcs?? she's always thought of herself as straight and suddenly she starts feeling something for a girl?

she would totally blush at a compliment or just simply bcs of the proximity of her girl crush around, although i think she wouldn't be straightforward and confess her feelings bcs well... it's max.

she would either ignore those feelings and try to move on (while ignoring the girl and hurting her by distancing herself) or she'd talk to frankie or sam about it (and they would support her 100%!!)

i feel like frankie and duke would tease her about it, tho. sam would totally be surprised at max's confession but would have a serious talk about it, saying how she's proud of her and would support her no matter if she was gay or not. i think that rich would also play an important role in here since he's always been like a "dad" to sam's kids (and don't forget how important his character was in the last season!!🤠) but also bcs he's gay himself and he would give max some advice, tell her his journey with his own sexual orientation and feel proud of her. i feel like her real dad would have some "but's" if he ever found out about it (idk he just looks like a total homophobe to me lol + considering how bad of a dad/ex husband he is since he always fucks something up). max would be hesitant about telling him about it, tho. knowing how he always lets everyone down i wouldn't even be surprised if she wouldnt tell him.

um, what else... i think max would totally be into rainbow stuff. yk, rainbow hats, rainbow umbrellas, bracelets, socks(😭) anything that reminds her of gay pride. i feel like she would be bisexual/lesbian (i'm a lesbian myself so obv max being a lesbian would be so 🥰🥰) but yeah she would totally have a lot of things in her room that have colors of her flag AND obv she would put a big ass pride flag above her bed. idk the thought of it just makes me happy 😭🤞🏻💞

thank u for listening to my ted talk . i'd love to see more similar stuff to this written by you on ur page and i hope you're doing ok <3 ^__^ i love ur works!!

long ask/response so read more below

oh god, max would be so confused at first. after a few times hanging out, max would catch herself flirting and realise that she's not even joking. that she wants to be around you way more than normal, in a way that's different than being comfortable with her other friends. because being around you doesn't make her comfortable! she feels really awkward and her heartbeat gets all funny and she worries about screwing up her words when she doesn't usually give a fuck about what others think. max finds herself worrying about what you're up to, if you laugh at her jokes, if you'll think what she's wearing is pretty. if you think she's pretty.

honestly, she doesn't even care about the guys she dates as much. there's so many times where max basically uses them as a prop, makes out with them because they're there and talks about them like they're not there. so it's even more confusing to name these feelings because it's completely not like her. and yeah, that feeling of being unsure would make her push you away. but feeling empty without you being near her would slowly eat at max's resolve, and she'd go to the people in her life who always help her figure stuff out.

when max talks about it to sam, sam helps in that half-cringe but very thoughtful way she always does. she'd tell max about a woman who tried pursuing her, mer (in season 3, i think? when max was in chicago for college iirc). frankie would probably walk in during this conversation, and max would be annoyed at both of them—sam for being gross and telling her about someone pursuing her (ew, no one wants to hear about that from their mom) and frankie for being so nosy—but max would eventually settle down and listen.

sam would tell max that whatever she's feeling is great, that the only thing that max might regret is not exploring these feelings and figuring herself out a little more. frankie would say something about how it's fine to not know what you are and just see how it fits and how you feel, relating it to how non-linear their discovery of their gender identity was. frankie would help her realise that everyone's story isn't the same, as frankie tells her these stories about their other LGBT friends. some people feel like they've always known and some people go so long but then have a sudden realisation, like max, but that's all valid and normal. but yes duke and frankie would totally make fun of max for freaking out and acting like this over a crush at her big age.

especially with rich and the other trusted adults in max's life (like phil who would be so happy for max too, and ask all about you), max doesn't need to tell xander about it! his absence in their lives means that he doesn't get to know the real them until he shows an interest in knowing them. if he doesn't act like a dad then he doesn't get to be one, yknow?

when sudden awakenings happen and you reflect on your past, it's funny to see what you've missed. max would look back and think 'shit, i totally had a crush on shego' or something as she looks back at her cartoon crushes. even super close friendships she had growing up, max will realise 'hey maybe it wasn't het of me that i wanted to impress her that bad' or 'wow, i was really jealous when she got a boyfriend'.

ultimately when max accepts that her identity is actually an exciting thing that she gets to discover about herself, she would adore pride. i think learning about the history, the many struggles it took to get this far, and the support of the community is bolstering for any baby gay. but especially with how sam talks to them about feminism and to be proud to be women, it'd be something max thrives in. figuring out whether she identifies as bi or pan or even a lesbian is something that she knows will come in time - for now, she'll be overwhelmed with the love and support she has from the people around her, and a new community with people just like her. (i think max would find the lesbian flag super pretty)

*insert max doing an 'am i gay quiz' nick from heartstopper-style*

thank you for the ask! i love these ted talks!! people loving these characters gives me so much motivation to write em, seriously.

[my-castles-crumbling]

sorry to bother but omg i just have to rant about this because it sucks

I just moved to a new school (like new country so I don't know anyone or anything) and there's this kid and from what I heard from other people (i never got to talk to them so idk preferred pronouns or anything so i'm gonna just use them) their trans.

and it sucks bc the entire grade (like including the group that i've been hanging out with) made fun of them. Like on girl called them "the girlboy" and like people made fun of them for using the boys bathrooms. I heard last week that they left the school because so many people were making fun of them and that's just horrible right? like what the fuck is wrong with people.

And now I (who has been questioning my gender for like 2 fucking years and thought this year would be a new start) can't experiment with my pronouns. because everybody here is shitty. I was the one who sent in the ask about the 3 guys being absolutley shocked that I was gay btw. I didn't say it in the last ask because it happened a few days after but I was talking to this girl who's in a different grade. we're friends from a club we both do. anyway i was talking to her before the class i had with the 3 guys and I walk to where they are bc one of my friends is there and we were all waiting for the teacher and he was like

"she's so weird, the girl you were talking to"

and i realised that i think they associate queer with weird if that makes sense. like the person i was talking to looks queer (and they are) and I think that's why he thinks she's weird because he has literally never had a conversation with her once in his life. so i think the reason they didn't think i was gay is because i don't look "weird" to them.

anyway it just sucks because when i was first moving here i hoped i could have a friendgroup that i could be more open about experiementing my gender with? if that makes sense? at my old school i was really open about being gay but my friends were a bit weird about that so i never told them. I have one friend tho and she' honestly my favorite person can i rant about her for a second? i'm going to anyway

She has tumblr too and when i first told her about it was around the same time she convinced me to get tumblr so she wanted to tall people to look for my account and i just had 1 conversation with her about how i was questioning stuff and it was a while before that and she asked me like "hey is she ok for the post i was gonna make or qould you prefer he or they? or something else?" and i was like "would they be ok?" and she was like "ofc" that was the first time that anyone's used they/them for me actually

and this might be bc she's bi but she was my only friend there who wasn't weird about me being gay. even before she started identifying as bi. like most of my friends would make off hand comments and tell everyone they knew i was gay and she was just chill. she laughed at my jokes (and now makes jokes with me).

she's also just like literally the best person ever like the first day of my new school i couldn't find my class and i was about to cry bc i was so overwhelmed and i texted her and she made me laugh and helped me calm down and gave me ideas of what to do and helped me find my class even tho she wasn't even in the same fucking country

all this to say people at my school are dicks and i miss my friend and i can't try out new pronouns in person bc people at my school are dicks

Thank you so much for reading (if you did) sorry for ranting

Hi!

Please don't apologize for ranting, I completely understand why you're upset. I'm glad you at least have one friend who is great (I wish she was at your school)! Does your school have a Gay-Straight Alliance or anything you could go to, to see if there are other people who are queer that you might not be aware of?

Naming you convinced anon!

[spicybylerpolls]

Spicy confession: I think this obsession and almost fetish with Finn being queer is because he’s a white, skinny guy with effeminate features and is ~artsy~ so I hope he’s actually straight so people realize that they should stop stereotyping men by how they look or act. You’d think we would have learned with the Noah situation and the dumb “he’s a straight frat boy so it’s funny he plays a sensitive gay boy so well” joke.

I mean I see your point, but I personally never saw Noah as a straight frat boy. When Bylers would make that joke, I would always go "Is he tho?"

I think what you're saying could play a role for some, but I also feel like there are subtle things that go beyond "sterotyping men by how they look or act" that people who believe he's bi/queer notice (or think they notice).

Because I'd say there are plenty of guys who kinda fall into a similar category as you described, and I'd wager a guess that if similar polls were run, most people here would likely see them as straight.

And lots of people theorized about Noah even if on the surface he seemed like a "straight frat boy" playing a gay character so well.

So there has to be a subtle "something else" that fuels it.

What that IS tho I'd say is difficult to pinpoint.

[beanghostprincess]

I have a rant regarding Usopp in the live action, one thing I noticed (and infuriated me) is the many many new fans that inmediatly "clocked" Usopp as the Straight Character™ and are therefore like "well I don't care about straight characters, so im going to ignore him, teehee" and AHHHH FIRST OF ALL IF YOU KNEW THE BISEXUAL VIBES THIS MAN EXUDES, and I don't even want to blame the Kaya kiss because it was cute and they're lovely together 😭 (tho I also see the pattern of which Character the Fandom decides are Straight™ and therefore ignored...)

But I also feel like maybe the Live Action didnt really give Usopp enough moments to shine, here's hoping for more (San)Usopp moments in the second season, they really underuse him in the first one

Okay, first of all, if you think Usopp is straight you're definitely reading his character wrong because look at him. Just look at him.

Yeah, no. This guy doesn't care about gender in the slightest.

And people assuming a guy is straight because he,,, Has a girlfriend,,, Wow,,, A bisexual man who kisses a woman,,, Who would've thought that bisexual people could fall in love with anyone,,, As if that wasn't the literal fucking definition of bisexual. And you could also headcanon him as gay or any other sexuality! Why does he have to be the straight character for having a girlfriend in canon? You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Fuck canon. People make my blood boil. Also, the whole "I don't care about straight characters" thing is something SO common and it makes me so angry because-- First of all, who said he's straight? He's a fictional character, do whatever the fuck you want with him. And second, it's alright to like specifically queer characters because they give you comfort and representation, but instantly ignoring a character just because they are not queer? Uh. Like, I understand, but it gives me the ick. It's just weird. Off-putting. Because there's a thin line between focusing on the characters you think are queer for comfort and reducing them only to their sexuality and ignoring everything that matters in the show. But you know? I don't think that's exactly the issue here and we both know what it is. Like. Between you and me, anon, we both know.

I am white by the way and I'm not used to analyzing black characters in terms of how the fandom views them and stuff, but isn't it quite curious how Usopp is always the ignored character from the East Blue Crew, and he's often used as a comedy relief in OPLA? "He has a girlfriend and he's straight so we don't care abou-" Sanji has flirted with Nami. Visibly. In front of your fucking screen. And you don't say that about him. Or any other character, really. That's just an excuse and we know and everyone knows and you don't have to analyze shit to know this because it's obvious. And if somebody comes at me saying "oh! But it's just because his personality is softer and he's a coward and most people hate that in shonens so he's a boring character" I am going to fucking combust because everyone knows that if Usopp were white EVERYBODY would be calling him a baby boy and a soft boy and a cutie pie and he'd be one of the favorites (cofcof Koby cofcof) (<- I love him too btw but you know what I mean).

That being said, OPLA doesn't even give Usopp enough screen time to be a character because his personality there is used to crack a few jokes and have THE romance in the show. That's it. He's the comedy relief character and the one who gets the girl because Netflix would cancel the show first before not doing any romance. God forbid people read between the lines, oh my God (<- I love Usokaya and everyone knows btw I am not complaining I cried when they kissed. I'm just saying that that's quite literally all he does. But Usokaya my beloved).

His OWN arc in OPLA is stolen by the screentime used for the Marines and Luffy is the one doing the work. They don't let Usopp follow through with what he actually does in the manga and it's very frustrating not being able to see him shine IN HIS OWN ARC. They barely give him any important scenes in comparison to the other characters. It's incredibly infuriating. See? I am now infuriated.

And now a lot of people watching OPLA have said they prefer OPLA Usopp rather than Manga!Anime!Usopp or that the live-action has made them like him better. I don't know what bothers me the most, really. People literally don't care about the characters, they just want them if they're hot. Which, by the way, it's insulting because if you don't find Manga!Anime!Usopp hot ?????? Please, go to the ophthalmologist because I think you need glasses.

I really hope we get more Usopp moments (hehe and Sanuso moments. My beloveds. They got their four cute short scenes in OPLA and I was the happiest person alive) next season because otherwise, I am going to fucking lose it.

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

Just watched the Barbie Movie.

Initial thoughts.

It is very good.

It is also....

haunted

by the lack of anything even... remotely queer.

It doesn't feel queerphobic, and the presence of a trans actress gives me the sense that it wasn't made with exclusion of trans men (Kens) and women (Barbies) in mind — and every statement they make about patriarchy is pretty spot on — but the heavy focus on gender inherent to the premise makes the exclusion of at least a mainstream "third gender" notion of nonbinary people feel very loud.

When it got to the Ken war, I was getting the same feeling I remembered from watching "Boys V Girls" cartoons as a kid. The kinda... "oh no, I'm being asked to split myself in twaine and fight" feeling as a multigender person.

The hard line drawn between Barbies and Kens, uh...

The Barbie Movie made me feel dysphoric lmao

Good movie tho.

And if Allan was supposed to represent nonbinary people, that... would be... not good. He's great and my favorite but also his request to he included in the narrative was a joke so I'm just gonna assume no one was trying to make him a metaphor for nonbinary people.

Oh and it was also

Extremely heterosexual.

The Barbies are totally all aromantic, but I think that's incidental. They could have been such good aro rep if the movie made just... any reference to aromanticism. :c

And... Yeah, the... The lack of any reference to possible gay Kens or Barbies was, again, very loud. Super loud. Especially during the setup to the Ken war. It was so extremely straight, moreso due to the premise of the film than a lot of media that doesn't have gay people either.

It was very good though. Like, everything included was amazing. It was funny and cartoonish and the plasticity of everything was great. I loved the surreal, on the nose way all the characters acted. It just excluded certain things in a way that felt like a big, gaping hole screaming to be noticed, which fascinates me.

[raitobie]

Massively unpopular opinion in the fandom:I can't see Light Yagami as being into guys. There are many factors - the iamgay jokes,the excess of a certain murderer-by-notebook/detective ship,or simply the fact that I never shipped him with any male characters(and low-key shipped him with female ones). So,there are two sexuality options - aro ace or straight. And no,I'd not rule out Light being straight,since he seems to have trouble making any kinds of bonds,not just romantic and sexual ones,even before the DN(except for his family,of course,but no one in their right mind would date a parent or a sibling). His being Kira just made it being near impossible,IMO. In fact,straight Light Yagami feels particularly compelling to me,because he seems like one of those people who would take a very long time to actually fall in love - and they're underrepresented in media. I do like aro ace Light,tho. I'm just not very invested in it.

I've seen you headcanon Light as demisexual,but this is basically a blog about a self-insert girl/woman dating his character. Besides,I've seen online that there're subcategories of demisexual people(demihomossexuals,demibisexuals,demiheterossexuals). To top it all,demihet!Light is compelling in a way none of the others managed to be,IMO.

Yeah, agree. Like, I think Light being gay/into guys is a valid headcanon for the record in that you could totally sell it without contradicting canon directly. No reason at all why he can’t be gay if that’s an angle one wants to explore for him in fanon.

But for me personally, you will lose me entirely if you try to use canon (which in my opinion is only the manga) to support this claim. Nothing in the text suggests this to me and while not impossible to interject of course, I find the notion that he HAS to be into guys because of how he deals with women and L in canon played out even as a joke. And it’s an idea that got so obnoxious and boring for me so quickly from the time I joined the fandom that I’m not interested in it lol.

Asexual, though? That’s more what I adopt! I don’t agree about him being aromantic because like you mentioned, Light is written to have clear hang ups about his relationships in general outside of his family, and that’s different to me than just feeling totally void of romantic attraction and desire. Especially considering his age, his personality and his situation, to me it’s like…yeah. I don’t expect him to be very compatible or happy with girls that are in his dating pool pre-death note even if he WAS just straight.

And yeah. Raitobie Light is demihetero just by default of me being a woman and our dynamic, and outside of me/before me, he’s considers himself ace. I do find this interpretation interesting, have never see it explored before and obviously it resonates with me too, so I’m doing it for myself lmao. It’s very nice to see my sentiments being appreciated and supported, so thanks for sharing!