#he's going to lose either way right?
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How do the boyos react to a breakup? :3c
Not... great.
I've answered this before, but it doesn't hurt to do it again, does it?
Sans: There's a split second, after she breaks the news, where he stares at her with no expression on his face. It looks lost, perhaps... blank? Totally unreadable. But to someone who knows him very well, like Papyrus, Sans just did his version of breaking down in hysterical tears and begging her not to leave him.
... Just like that, he defaults to what he always does when faced with a deep emotional wound- the mask comes back up. He doesn't even try to resist the breakup. He perfectly plays the part of the understanding, emotionally mature ex, he agrees that they 'just aren't compatible that way'. He doesn't ask how he can change, he doesn't try to come up with ways to make things work. He just rolls over. Of course he's happy to stay close friends. Of course she's still welcome at their place. Of course she should still come over for spaghetti and videogames on Friday evening. Anything to get her out the door as soon as possible.
He seems completely unaffected. They continue being friends... but part of him is now permanently closed off to her. He never gives casual touch, he doesn't text her jokes that made him think of her. Their texts become a repeating pattern of her longer messages, his simple 'ok 👍' replies, then the little grey timestamp of several days passing. Outside of the usual Friday, he never asks to come over, he never invites her anywhere. Even if she can't read him, she'll definitely see how massively their dynamic has shifted- she'll realise just how important she used to be to him.
... And suddenly... she gets the sting of realisation that she'll never see that side of him again.
Red: It depends on how far they are into the relationship. If it's early, he does what Sans pretends to do- he cuts off the romance but remains completely chill with her. Her breaking up with him is the sign his hyper-vulnerable subconscious was looking for to pull his budding feelings for her right out by the roots; now he has the concrete proof he needed that he shouldn't invest his Soul into this. He remains an easygoing, casual friend who's eager to be one with benefits.
If it's later in the relationship... after a long time with one another... if flat out denial that she wants to break up doesn't work, he tries bargaining. He tries promising he'll change, promising everything under the sun in the hopes that she'll stay. He tries begging her not to go. His last-ditch is trying to explain that he loves her, and he doesn't know if he can love anyone else. He can't be alone after he thought he'd never be alone again.
... If all else fails, he pivots to his old friend anger. He thought they were going to be together forever, buy a house, have kids. He genuinely can't handle watching that all slip away from him. He feels like it's all his fault, he fumbled the love of his life; so now she never loved him, now she's a liar, now she's been planning this for months and dragging him along out of pity. Now she's probably cheating- anything he can get his hands on to make it make sense. Nothing can calm him down, not even her, he storms out and gets into vicious fights and spitefully watches the missed texts and calls rack up. He immediately falls back into old addictions- when Papyrus finds him two days later, the stench of whiskey is almost too much.
If we're looking for a silver lining here, it at least brings the brothers closer. Papyrus misses his sister, but he firmly takes Red's side (as he's done his whole life) and wants nothing to do with her anymore. It hurts to watch Red unravel again.
Skull: Skull's concept of a 'relationship' is slightly skewed. He doesn't really understand it, he never has... his mind doesn't work like that, and neither does his idea of love. If he loves her, he loves her, that's all there is to it. Because of that, ironically, there's a chance that Skull would take the breakup the best out of all of them, because to him love is just as sweet regardless of whether they can or can't kiss. He really doesn't care what label is on what they have- if he can still see her, still cuddle her and touch her hair, he doesn't mind. Romantic, platonic, sure, whatever sweetheart says. If she doesn't want to be romantic anymore that's fine. So long as she'll still hold his hand. So long as he can still turn to her when the nightmares are too loud; so long as he can still watch the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles.
... There won't, however, be any new lovers.
The thing about Skull is being with him comes with the unspoken agreement that there'll never be anyone else. He's completely attached to her; and now that the affection as gone as deep as it has, no matter what Mc says or how much they talk about it, the sight of anyone else being with her fills him with so much instinctive rage and hatred it just isn't safe. There will be blood.
She can break up with him, sure. That's fine. Whatever sweetheart wants.
But nobody will ever take his place.
#llamagines#angst#red and skull will fight to keep their spot- with varying degrees of success#sans wont#he immediately folds#it hurts so much more to fight and lose anyway#he's going to lose either way right?#might as well lose on his own terms
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie
#xmen#logan movie#snap chats#i be ramblin today hello ...#it was a pleasant jumpscare. yk until he died. after realizing he committed atrocities by accident 😭😭💀 OLD MAN NOOO#but no please LIKE I READ THE DESCRIPTION WHEN GOING TO WATCH RIGHT#AND I WAS JUST THINKING 'oh he'll probably be here for like twenty minutes. wdym he's here for way longer than that'#i THINK years ago i REMEMBER seeing a screenshot of the hotel bit with laura and charles but again that was years ago#and i might be tricking myself maybe its a false memory jealvvelka either way i just know they were cute :(#point is he was here for. i cant even say So Little cause again He Was Here For An Hour And Thirty Minutes Out Of Two Hours#and lets be clear 'snap has your brain molded that much you know exactly how much screen time charles gets in the movies'#girl no not yet i only know exactly when he punches his clock cause i had to keep restarting the movie cause it kept pausing vjAELKAJE#and it just so happened to struggle literally like. ten minutes after he dies- like when logan was dealing with x24 THAT part#so rude for that.. anyway I Repeat i miss charles and laura bein cute :(#it wasnt a lot but it was just sweet.. i always like how charles always got that Professor in his soul with these movies#like in dofp when logan's losing it after. getting future ptsd jvALKVLAJ??K charles is there to ground him#despite being. Like That vjeaLKj like sir please ily. i will accept the Youre On Acid answer youre trying your best#and then with THIS movie evidently charles is having. the worst time upstairs#but he's still super sweet with laura like oh stop you grandpa im gonna throw up#and to STRESS. they were EVIL about that wholesome dinner bit like :((( oh to see the fam happy and safe again :(((#like im throwing up frankly. people were right this movie IS sad i underestimated their assessment 😭#to lighten the mood in my heart. charles really do be an old man in this movie hes such a menace to logan JELKAK#god. Most Normal X-Men Movie Watcher Focuses On Professor X During The Movie About Logan VEJLKJA#ok im done. sorry i just keep replayin that bit in my head where theyre in the car and logans just 'Did You Take Your Meds SHOW'#like pelase. jaeRLKEaj ok im gonna try drawing i looked at my wall long enough and i think i can draw something
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stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir
(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)
But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?
so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me
in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone
and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age
but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind
and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind
(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)
"I just see this place as my home"
so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3
#arknights#asto speaks#not much of an essay writer i just keep thinking about them and i need to force other people to think about them too#thorns story fucks me up bc like. this whole almost found family adjacent idea of like#maybe home isnt something decided by your birth but something you can chose based on what truly matters to you#it just gets to me. i guess.#jordi gets to me in a completely different direction there's nothing personal about it i just find his story *fascinating*#just a guy. a completely normal guy. an absolute nobody caught up in these dreams of greatness while also fully aware of his own normalcy#but never letting either of those overshadow the other. never losing that self awareness or that fuckin obsessive determination#god. what a Character#i love jordi so much like genuinely#i joke a lot about him being just a Guy but thats also kinda like the best thing about him#the fact that he is the way that he is and does all the things he does despite being just a Guy#gently holds#for context i was so hyped about new iberia lore when sn was announced i read the whole thing as soon as it dropped on cn server#cuz someone uploaded all the story sections to bilibili right after it came out#and '我只是把这里当作自己的故乡啊' fucking hit me SO HARD#in like the greater context of elysium demanding to know why hes risking his life in like 5 different ways to return to gran faro#because yeah jordi just doesnt want to leave his home but like we the audience knows the full *weight* of what that home means to him#and the weight of the dreams that made him chose to see Gran Faro as his home and to refuse to let go of that#thats why i like the original a lot more than the translation i think like it really emphasises that active *choice*.#this is the place jordi has *decided* to see as his home and he knows what that means and what it means to him#side note the part on thorns might not actually age well depending on whether hg decides to ever release more aulus lore#i mean i'll gladly take the L if it means more aulus and/or thorns lore like#i just wanna know what (if anything) is tying him to iberia yknow#ak#iberiaposting
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watched a playthrough of Still Wakes the Deep (PHENOMENAL game) and i am disappointed that Caz did not have that taffy in him. everything seemed like it was perfectly set up for him to have that taffy in him (being presumed dead after rescue, knowing where the taffy stuff was around him, surviving as long as he did, not getting horribly injured, hearing things from the Big Taffy) but i completely understand why that wasn't the twist the game developers went for.
however, in order to cope i am now imagining a version of the game where Caz got Ethan Winters'd by the taffy after he fell in the water. this would affect the gameplay at multiple points and add new mechanics as well as incorporate the original ones, and certainly provide some conflict for a man who just wants to get home to his wife and daughters and keep his friends safe.
bonus! being taffy'd would give the player the option to save people who originally died by sacrificing Caz's humanity bit by bit and embracing the taffy more to overcome obstacles. you could even communicate with the already fully taffy'd guys and get them to calm down or move or target specifically you instead of other people.
just a concept, i probably won't do much with it. but i do have a very distinct image of Caz having a shiny oilslick sheen to his eyes like the Big Taffy after he's pulled out of the water.
#gamma thoughts#still wakes the deep#it would totally work though right?#at some point you can start hearing heartbeats and detect where the taffy monsters are around you#BIG change to the gameplay#definitely a different experience but an experience nonetheless#(spoilers)#he'd still blow up with the rig at the end but he'd get everyone he managed to save off#there's also an impossible happy ending version where Caz uses his taffy powers to help the other infected control their own taffiness#and they all get to go home and live semi-normal lives#there would be an option to play the game normally where you don't use any taffy abilities#either way Caz sacrifices himself#can you tell i enjoy trope of guy slowly losing their humanity in exchange for protecting those they care about
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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taking a break from media atm
#yes this includes tumblr#I'm just so done with hearing about politics#it makes me feel sick to my stomach#in case you guys don't know#I'm getting conflicting messages on every front of my life rn#I have people badmouthing trump#I have people badmouthing kamala#I'm literally a minor#I have no idea who's right and who's wrong#please don't use this post to rant about who you wish won the election and why you hate trump#don't get me wrong#he's a major ass who's definitely going to fuck up our country#but we lose either way#I need a break from it#I just want to live my silly little life with my silly little pieces of media that I enjoy and my silly little hobbies
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Ok I Am enjoying getting to see Neji's teammates react to this. Especially Lee, who's fuckin wrecked by this. Wish we got more reaction from Tenten, but by this point I can't be surprised at Kishimoto not giving proper depth to the girls.
This part tho,
LEE... YOUR HAND... YOUR HAND TOOK HIS EYEBROWS AWAY... GIVE THEM BACK..!!!!!!!
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#burned them off with naruto's chakra cloak i guess hfkshfkabfkahkcbd#actually so much is happening rn it's kind of insane. also sasuke is just in konoha with orochimaru??? they just waltzed right in#which is so funny all things considered.#and we got to hear shikaku and inoichi's last words to shikamaru and ino. which is sweet. inoichi's is all sweet at least#but shikaku what do you MEAN you interrupted your last words to your wife for that!??!?!#to tell shikamaru to hide smth from a box in storage?!?!? no actual words for your wife?!?!?!#inoichi didnt pass words on for his wife either but at least he didnt start like he was Going to b4 saying to hide smth from her#like man kishimoto manages to communicate misogyny in like a million different ways in this goddamn show 😭😭😭😭#but at least inoichi's words to ino were normal. a father telling his daughter hes proud of her for her strength of spirit etc etc#also lol at shikaku essentially telling shikamaru that if this plan doesnt work. well youre in charge!!!!#bc the 5 kage are off Wherever (left dying but tsunade was doing smth. but we didnt see what. also she was fucking bisected????)#(kishimoto back up what the fuck happened with tsunade actually. its been like 30 episodes since then. What Did You Do To My Wife.)#so yeah shikamaru's smart as hell and hes 16 and practically in charge of an army. nothing could possibly go wrong here.#and here i am with eyebrowless neji on my screen still. what is this anime. im losing my mind.
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Good morning last night I was trying to think abt rgbfverse stuff to help me sleep and I shit you not Darnell Imagery fucking bled into it so hard that it just became about him. The Specific Character autism is going prompt critical
#💛#......... if you were curiousfjqmjdqnsjks#first idea was boyf convincing ys to try a Darnell Hug bc Darnell runs pretty warm and is also a good hugger#but yknow ys' hugs are Literally Angelix and fc!darnell is emotionally repressed to shit so he gets weirdly emotional about it BFKQHDK#SECOND idea was an extention of 'what if the othera reacted to ys poorly'#not Right Away but i think the idea of like. both 'he has no idea where his pico is' and someone losing their most important person#would like. randomly hit him at some point like. both fuck i hope his pico is okay i hope 'i'm' with him#and also oh god what would I do if i lost Pico. and like spiraling abt it#i think it would be deeply funny to write an rgbfverse fic that has Nothing to do with the bfsFNWKDJQKDBQK#and also the funniest possible way i could go 'yea my Darnell is hanging on by a Thread just as much as Pico and Nene'#<- if any of this made you go 'darnell :(' i am Winning btw /silly#anyway. time to do nothing with either of these ideas because i have shit to do lalalaBDKAJSKQJSKS
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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the sooner badboyhalo viewers realize he’s an unreliable narrator the sooner I’ll be able to sleep at night
#qbbh is unreliable he’s a little bit of an asshole he’s the worlds biggest hypocrite he’s self centered and in it for his own interests#he lies for fun he dishes out ‘pranks’ and ‘memes’ but cannot handle it when the role is reversed he needs things to go his way or he’ll#lose his muffins like#and I love it for him! his character can be frustrating sure but it’s fun he plays a good role!!#but bbh chat you are the bug under my shoe. be normal. learn what rp means for the love of god#media literacy! critical thinking! reading anything other than Twitter posts and hot takes please!#I’m once again seeing weird takes and it’s like man. qBad is so misunderstood. not for all the reasons you think though#he’s not misunderstood because he’s really in the right or good or whatever. he’s misunderstood because nobody understands his characters#views or intentions. i don’t think his character fully does either! unreliable narrator! please for the love of god!#I know I’ve made a whole other in the tags rant about this before but like it’s never been more applicable again#bad’s twitch chat be normal challenge level IMPOSSIBLE#and I don’t get why man. take example from the doozers w foolish. from jorge w bagi. Cellbit’s chat (for the most part) even#idk anyways#mcyt#qsmp#bbh#z speaks
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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Hate when the entire fandom misinterprets one of your favorite characters and you literally can't find any fan work where they actually act like their character
#this is about Gold in pokespe btw#he is not sexually harassing people every ten seconds omg especially not his best friend#he cares for crystal and thinks she's smart#he teases her the same way he does silver#I'm begging y'all to acquire some braincells please#his literal only real instance of doing something perverted is slapping blues ass once when he was 11#he was immediately beaten up after#he never acts like that again after or even really before the incident#not acting like that was right but like that's the only thing he did and he was 11#his emotional growth is literally what makes his character#he feels inadequate compared to the other dexholders#he's clever if i see another interpretation of Gold as completely fucking stupid I'm going to lose it#he's a dumbass but he's not completely stupid#THERE IS A REASON HE IS CALLED THE HATCHER#HE HAS AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH POKÉMON TO THE EXTENT HE CAN AFFECT THEIR PERSONALITIES BEFORE THEY HATCH#the mischaracterization never takes into account his character past the crystal arc either#HE WAS 11#STOP IT#STOP MAKING HIM ACT LIKE THAT WHEN YOU'RE WRITING HIS HGSS CHARACTER#HE'S LIKE 16#gold pokespe
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“Damian isn’t ooc what are you talking aboutttt he’s only 14 and wants to trust his dad so badlyyyy guyssss don’t get upsettt” have you never read a comic with Damian in it in your life
#I FUCKING HATE TJISHDJDHF#WHAT IS GOING ON AM I INSANE???? AM I LOSING IT???#Damian trusting his dad despite BRUCE acting so out of character EVEN IF ITS TO PRAISE DAMIAN AND MAKE HIM FEEL SPECIAL#HAS HAPPENED BEFORE#AND HE HAS SPOTTED THAT SHIT AS STRANGE A MILE AWAY#AND HE WAS LIKE. 12. AT FOURTEEN WE’VE ESTABLISHED DAMIAN AS MORE OBSERVANT AND PREPARED FOR THIS#it can either be taken as retrofitting him into ‘normal’ developmental periods which again. we’ve established Damian has as the antithesis#or as a way to put down his character in the robin mantle in order to make Tim’s run look smart and perfect in comparison. which is gross.#Tim has been Robin and even moved past it and became even better and now we’re what? missing the good ol days?#Tim became Robin in 1989. NINETEEN EIGHTY NINE GUYS#THATS 35 YEARS AGO#I KNOW ITS NOSTALGIC FOR YOU BUT YOU HAD A LOT OF STUFF WITH HIM IN IT AND HES JUST A SMART LITTLE WHITE BOY#Damian became Robin in 2009 and we’ve barely tapped into his psychology because comics is so hot buttoned right now#that they don’t know which aspect to deal with first and foremost and always choose Bruce’s relationship as an easy out#Damian was Robin for barely 15 years and yet the guy that got DOUBLE his time is back for round 3. ok.#and here we are again.#Damian has proven himself to be so capable and smart his only downfall is his own hubris and inexperience#he has been trained SINCE BIRTH to use his head guys. a few years in America didnt take that out of him.#anyway. plz pick up a comic. damian would know better cause he’s not an average 14 y/o and he’s not just a traumatized little boy.#‘ohhhh he craves his dads attention and praise so much he’d believe anything he saiiiddd’ WHO TOLD YOU THAT??? ZDARSKY??#WHAT WAS ALL OF HIS YEAR OF PENANCE ON THAT ISLAND FOR#WHAT WAS HIS ARC WITH DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM HIS FATHER A BIT IN THE WAKE OF NEEDING SOME TIME TO HIS OWN REVELATIONS#WHAT ABOUT IT. DID IT JUST NOT HAPPEN SUDDENLY#whatever.
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#cops tw#bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg#got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day#was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that I’m right to be scared#it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow#I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop#so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky#except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning#ig bc I don’t have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier#it’s the second time I’ve been pulled over in my life tho and it’s scary bc this is the first time since the accident#which maybe that was also ok bc it wasn’t my fault#I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again#like I know I got out of that bc I’m white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars#so it’s like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time#when I’m already salty to be driving this late involuntarily#so it’s like I got unlucky And very very lucky#I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment#I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die#or get arrested or whatever#and then they like don’t follow the script and u didn’t expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered#anyway my point is. I’m fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening#it’s long day after long day w no end in sight rn and I’m like half asleep every day#I just want to sleep. without feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow#it’s too much. just all of it#and on top of it all. it’s 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed#happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home#mine#txt#vent post#personal
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