#he’s incomplete because i Could Not Cope

[m1d-45]

me when. me when kaeya. when he. th. ( ；∀；) - teddy anon

you just like me fr fr

[indecisivemuch]

Lovesick & Lovelorn

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader

Summary: You thought that Luke Castellan, your best friend, did not reciprocate your feelings for him. To cope, you wrote letters addressed to him and kept them in a box. What happens when one of your sisters finds it? Inspired by 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' (fluff, best friends to lovers; you thought it was unreciprocated feelings, happy ending).

Note: Ahh, I'm so happy the show got renewed for season 2.

Word count: 3.3k

You were deeply convinced your fate was tied to one with eternal lovelorn. 

Three years ago, you arrived at Camp Half-Blood and settled into the Hermes cabin before you were claimed by your Godly parent. It was there that you met Luke Castellan - one of your soon-to-be best friends. Though, you knew you were doomed from your first glance into his eyes. Then came his friendly smile and an offer of a handshake, where his hand engulfed yours.

At first, you thought that silly little crush would dissipate. But over time, as you became close friends with the Hermes cabin counselor, you were almost convinced he was faultless. You seemed to adore every little thing about him. Along with the fondness that grew in your heart was also self-pity. At one point, even looking at him hurt because you knew he did not return your feelings.

Hence, the letters.

In between your memories of Luke were letters you wrote throughout those years just to cope with the unreciprocated feeling. It was painful, but what else could you do? You truly believed confessing would put your friendship at risk. Neither did you feel like dealing with the heartache of a rejection. So you never uttered any of your feelings to him, continuing to imprint it on lined papers instead.

You scowled as the pen you were using ran out of ink, leaving the latest edition of unspoken words unfinished. Wordlessly, you fold the incomplete letter into an envelope and shove it into the turquoise box you bought while returning from a quest once. You neatly put the box under your bed.

“Y/N, it’s time to head out,” one of your sisters repeated. Two minutes ago, people were starting to leave, so those on cleaning duties could clean up your cabin. Since you were mid-writing, you hastily asked for a few more seconds. Now, you were the only one left besides two of your sisters.

“Yes, sorry,” you quickly muttered, exiting the cabin and almost immediately bumped into Luke. “Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.

“I’m here for you. I thought we should hang out,” Luke answered ever so casually. Yet, your heart swelled at the thought that he was there for you. Before you could reply, you two were interrupted by another camper, who told you that one of your other best friends needed you and that it was an emergency.

“I’m so sorry, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on that hangout,” you informed Luke. You slowly started walking backward and away from him. “I’ll see you later, though?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Come find me whenever you’re done, yeah?” Luke requested, hoping to spend time with you later. His soft look made you pause mid-step, almost as if your foot had been cemented to the stones beneath. You nodded absentmindedly before snapping out of that state to comfort your friend.

After two hours of listening to your friend and comforting them, you finally left their cabin to search for Luke, who previously told you to find him after. However, around half an hour later, you slowly gave up at the thought of doing so, feeling almost defeated.

As you turned to head back to your cabin, you spotted the Hermes counselor exiting his. You called out his name, watching his back stiffen before he turned to you. You ignored the odd behavior and recalled, “I’m free now if you’re down to hang out.”

“I’m so sorry, but I’m really busy right now.”

“Uhm, well, I guess I’ll just meet you at our spot whenever you’re done then?” you suggested. You and Luke fell into a routine of star-gazing every night.

Laying under the dark sky that painted your whole horizon often made you feel small. But something about that was so calming, especially considering most of the time, you were suffocated by the weight and duties of being a Demigod. You wondered if it was the moment or if it was Luke’ presence that aided your momentary peace.

“I really, really can’t tonight, I have a lot of things to do.”

“Oh… that’s okay. I’ll see you around?” you replied, watching as Luke fidgeted and gulped while attempting to look normal. It was futile, really, because being best friends meant you could sense when the slightest thing was even off. He nodded, and you retreated to your cabin with thoughts swirling in your head.

Then came the next few torturous and confusing days. For the last two years, Luke would always approach you - almost daily, and vice versa. Being best friends with Luke has been wonderful. Every day together felt like a blessing.

Now, it seemed almost like he was avoiding you. He would find a new excuse whenever you approached. He wouldn’t even look in your direction. Yesterday, you made eye contact with him, and he turned away abruptly, facing his back towards you.

You had enough after day three. You went to your cabin after dinner and reached under your bed with one hand. You did not want to, but this would perhaps be your first-ever letter of anguish about Luke Castellan.

The box…where is the box?

You peered under your bed, mouth hanging open when your eyes could not spot it either. You looked up and around, hoping maybe you had misplaced it somewhere, even though part of you knew you had put it under your bed. You have always done so.

“Hey, have you seen a turquoise box?” you asked your sister as she walked by.

“Oh, the rectangle one, about this big?” your sister reconfirmed, using her hand to show you the size she indicated.

“Yes, that one.”

“Oh, I gave it to Luke.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I was cleaning the cabin three days ago, accidentally knocked it over and saw letters addressed to him. He was right by the door, so I thought maybe I should just deliver them to him.”

Blood drained from your face, and your heart plummeted. Anything else your sister seemed to be talking about started sounding like murmurs, and you could not focus on a word she was saying. Your worst nightmare seemed to have arrived. Somehow, your friendship with him had ended without you knowing. No wonder he has been avoiding you these past few days. He has read them all.

“I need to go,” you quickly muttered, storming out of your cabin. You could feel your body slightly shaking from the panic. No amount of Demigod training had prepared you for moments like these. Then you saw Luke walking over you…with the box in his hands. You took a deep breath and practically forced your voice box to work.

“Listen, Luke—”

“I didn’t think you’d buy birthday gifts that early, Y/N,” he interrupted.

“What?” you questioned and observed the sweet smile gracing his Adonis-like face.

“This?” he gestured to the box. “Your sister gave it to me and said it was from you. Though I thought I should give it back ‘cause it’s not my birthday yet, you might have wanted to give it to me yourself.”

“Oh…” it was the only thing you could utter as it dawned on you what he had perceived the situation as. “Wait, so you haven’t opened it?” you clarified.

“Nope.”

“...So we’re ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” your mouth hung slightly agape at his words. As you scrunch your eyebrows, you could see how his fingers fidget somewhat, almost as if he could tell you would bring his odd behavior up.

“You’ve been acting really odd the last few days, Luke. It had me worried. I thought I did something wrong. It seems like you were avoiding me.”

“I was just really busy with counselor duties,” he dismissed it. However, something about it made you a bit hesitant to believe his words. You did it anyway, nevertheless. You blamed it on your stupid heart.

“Yeah, but—” you stopped, not wanting to stir anything. “Ok then, I’m going to put this away, but I’ll see you later, yeah? Maybe we can finally not rain check again?” You hated how hopeful you sounded. You’re glad that the sun had set a few minutes ago, blessing you with enough degree of darkness to hide your facial expressions from being as evident as they would be in daylight.

“Of course, I’ll see you later, Y/N,” despite the dark and only dim lights from nearby, you noticed there was something different about him. Luke was wearing a nervous smile, almost sheepish like a schoolboy. There was a glimmer of amazement in his eyes like he was in disbelief. Though it was definitely overpowered by a glaring degree of warmth. He was looking at you like all those writers have written down in the books you have read before - something along the lines of adoration and love.

You shook those thoughts away again, refusing to somehow fool yourself into believing he could reciprocate those feelings.

“Yeah, see you,” you muttered, hand gripping tightly on the box as you took it from his hold. As soon as you reached your cabin, you opened the box to peer inside. You immediately sighed in relief upon seeing the copious amount of letters with your handwriting on them, all with Luke’s name on the front.

However, your eyes landed on one unfamiliar one. It had your name on it, written in a familiar wonky handwriting that you have always found endearing.

You sat on your bed, taking the letter out delicately, almost in disbelief. Then, dread overtook any other emotion. Was this Luke’s way of letting you down easy? By pretending to not have read any of your letters and rejecting you through the form that you express your love to him? — you had to physically shake your head at that thought.

You took the letter out of its envelope and started reading: 

‘Dear Y/N,

This is probably the 40th time I tried writing this letter. It feels impossible to try and convey everything onto one piece of paper.

You deserve someone to at least view you as their muse rather than always being the writer. 

Hence why, for the past few days, I had to physically drag myself away from you every time you tried approaching me because I knew if I didn’t, I would just end up spilling my feelings out right then. I knew if I even looked at you, I would have just abandoned this letter idea and run to you. You should have seen me yesterday. When we made eye contact, I had to turn away from you because having the knowledge of you liking me back was enough to knock all the air out of my lungs. I was a flustered mess from just that eye contact.

I doubt my words could rival what you have written about me. You once wrote how it hurts to love someone this much and to always be the poet but never the poem. Well, I’d like to thank you for making me your poems. However, now it is your turn. Allow me to be your poet.

You occupy my mind like it’s your castle. If I had to name everything I love about you, this letter would never end. But for starters, here are some of the first times:

The first time Chiron introduced you to the Hermes cabin, I could not take my eyes off you. Chris had to nudge me away. Just from that alone, a part of me knew I was in trouble. I think I came to the conclusion that I did not want to hold anybody else’s hand after just shaking yours.

2.5 years back during a campfire in June, even when the fire had died and the air grew cold, our voices still filled the air. Conversations just flow when I am with you. I remember never wanting that moment to end. Then you started talking about constellations and told me about the ones above us. Right there and then was the first time I had the urge to kiss you, and to show you that I was just as obsessed with you as you were with stars.

The first time I realized I was in love with you was while coming back from a quest 2 years ago. I remember feeling so numb coming back. The world almost seemed monotone, and I wondered for a second, what if I had made one wrong move? Just as I returned to camp, you bolted and hugged me. Somehow, it felt like I had just taken my first bit of fresh air after drowning for so long. I vividly recall shutting my eyes as I hugged you back because I felt like I was finally home. I remember never wanting to be away or out of your hold as others approached and rushed to get me into the infirmary for checkups.

It was only when I was lying on the infirmary bed that it hit me like a train that lost control. A large proportion of why I fought so hard was to come back to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and my place of solace and peace. Then came the realization that I was in love with you. I remember everybody else’s voice drowning out as I focused on that thought. It was strangely calming, as if my heart had known all along but was waiting for my head to catch up. Then I remember just smiling as I looked at the ceiling, unafraid of the new feeling.

Last year, the day we went on a quest together lapsed with Valentine’s Day. Every moment felt extra sweet. Us sitting on the train, staring outside the window together like a couple going on a trip. My mind savoured the small things like you falling asleep on my shoulder with my coat around you and us holding hands as we walked through the crowd to not get lost among couples - which I like to imagine that others had thought we were one as well. It was the first time I allowed myself to pretend this is how it would feel like if you were mine and how our lives together would be if we were not Demigods.

I thought for sure you would have realized something by the way I was staring and acting around you that I was irrevocably in love with you. After reading your letters, I realized that you did see it. But you refused to believe that I could ever be in love with you. Well, I hope my letters will reverse all your doubts, because Y/N, it is so easy to fall in love with you. 

In fact, the world I built up in my head during last year’s quest had consumed my thoughts enough to make me frown at the idea of returning to camp, where it would not just be the two of us anymore. Loving you has never been something I was afraid of. Loving you has been an honour every single day, even if you never knew of it. 

It’s also somewhat funny that I was heavily lovesick while you were lovelorn. But I promise, Y/N, that from this second on, I intend to make you know that you are loved and that I am so deeply in love with you.

Again, I never intended for you to wait for three days, but I ended up throwing away every letter I started because I felt like none had suffice. I didn’t want to mess it up and give you something less than you deserved. I wanted to do something nice for you. I promise I’ll make it up for those three days if you allow me to. But one chance is all I need.

If you are willing to give me that chance, you know where to find me.

Sincerely,

Luke Castellan’

Upon reading his last words, you immediately left your cabin with the letter in hand. You jogged to the spot where the two of you would always meet to stargaze together. Almost instantly, you saw his tall figure under the moonlight. As if he could sense your presence, the Hermes boy turned around and gave you a sweet smile.

“You meant it?” you asked as you raised the letter up, slowly approaching him.

“Every single word, including all the unspoken ones I intend on telling you from now on,” the way he said it felt like he was swearing it on his own heart. “In fact, I would have written more down, but I knew I was keeping you waiting for too long,” he explained as you stopped right before him.

Something about this moment felt cathartic. Three years of dancing around unspoken words and yearning led to this moment. Luke grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckle. You peered up at him, and it was then that you finally accepted what his looks meant: he was in love with you, and there was no doubt about that. There was no more denial on your end that Luke Castellan was enamored with you.

“Will you let me be your poet, Y/N?” he breathlessly referenced the words you and him had both previously written like he had been waiting for this for a lifetime.

“Of course,” you answered almost without hesitation, watching his eyes soften even more, if possible.

“Is it ok if I ask you another question?” he asked again, his other hand caressing your cheek.

“Yeah?” Your face flushed as you saw his brown eyes dart to your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

This time, you didn’t say anything. You’ve written down way too many words in the past three years. You decided actions would speak louder in this case. So you pulled Luke down by his camp necklace, hands gripping the beads on it as you tiptoed up to reach his lips. 

Luke physically melted as he brought one hand to your waist to hold you up as he leaned down from the height difference. Everything Luke had imagined before could not match the kiss he was finally sharing with you - the kiss that seemed to seal his lips into a spell that would forever leave them unable to belong to anyone else. It felt like heaven and hell combined because he knew that this was going to ruin him forever, and every second he spent with his eyes shut would be one where he had this feeling and moment sown behind his eyelids. 

You had the same line of thoughts. The wait was long, but you felt like it was worth it. Under the stars, you may feel small. But standing there next to Luke, you finally realize it doesn’t matter. Because he was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered.

You were his sun, moon, and everything in between - no constellations could ever measure to you.

--------------------

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[werywrenniethoughts]

Help Wanted 2: Lets Talk About Sun (Spoilers for Help Wanted 2!)

Okay,

I've had some time to digest Help Wanted 2. What a freaking roller coaster. I'm assuming you all have played/watched/seen Help Wanted 2, so be advised if you haven't seen everything we have access to so far, I'll be bringing it up.

One thing I'll say upfront is its nice to know Sun and Moon ARE older like I theorized. They're tied to the Fall Festival which took place in 1970 per one of the prize collector posters and the fact they deal with the carousel. I think Steel Wool also tried to point out and confirm Moon is patient zero for....I guess I should say Vanny's influence in the PizzaPlex. He's definitely the favorite to be pitted against us. I'm STILL losing my mind over the Princess Quest Ending.

So, the DCA fandom has been all across the board, ranging from "I love sassy Sun" to "Sun is SO mean. This ruins my headcannon." I don't think it really does. At least, it doesn't have to.

Our first encounter with Sun in front of us is Arts and Crafts. This minigame is located in the world we eventually learn is AR. We also are clearly a new FazBear hire. Sun is definitely sassy, and let's face it, VERY critical of what he defines as a mistake. BUT the flip side of that coin is he is still nice when you do the art correctly. He calls you friend, he wants to help you. If the player eats the crafts, he loses his mind. It's because he's worrying for the player due to the effects eating the crafts will have on them, ie: "That is how you get ulcers!". (By far, MY FAVORITE line of Sun's btw. Kellen stated that line and the indigestion line were both improved btw- genius.) He still doesn't want Moon to get you, he doesn't want to get in trouble. The one threat is after you've been hitting him several times and you've outright pissed him off. (I personally, think the "I should turn off the lights myself" was a drama king being a drama king.) Then we take the mask off. We see everything destroyed and Sun acts like the Sun we've always known. "I'm perfectly fine where I am. It's better this way. It's safer this way." "Keep the generator on. Without it I won't be able to help you." He's the same as he's always been. We've just seen a new layer.

What we ultimately have to come to terms with, is that Sun is a control freak and a perfectionist. He thinks he "has" to be. He doesn't want you to move from your craft table so he can watch you like a hawk. Do the job you are assigned. Get in, get out. Do the art HIS way, and follow HIS rules. If you don't, bad things can happen. Bad things HAVE happened. Another explanation could also be that maybe he isn't as free of the glitch trap virus as we thought? He can be sassy, he can be brutally honest, he can be concerned for us, for children, and his own darkness can rear its head, all at the same time.

Steel Wool could also be trying to slam into our faces that Sun is incomplete. He is one-half of a whole. He has good intentions, he means well at his core, but he cannot stop, regroup, and act rather than react. He gets stressed, and can't cope and adjust. Instead, he demands control back when he feels like he's about to lose it. Moon is calm, calculating, and logical. It's why they need to be whole and why Sun is so grateful to Cassie when she fixes them to become Eclipse. As Eclipse, they both find the parts of themselves they've so desperately needed.

[andromedasolarsystem]

We never really get much on the main groups backstories. We get bits and crumbles but I think the only few in depths ones we get are Sakura, Ume, and Endo. But I do think a lot about this page specifically for Sugishita.

From what we know about Sugishita is that he’s an awkward and violent guy. It’s never really explored why he is the way he is, but the cast have accepted him as he is. Which is something I cannot imagine he had before. Sugishita is real big. I mean he really is built like a bulldozer his grandfather had to extend his bed so that Sugishita could sleep. He also hits his head on his doorframe!

He has good intentions though. He *wants* to be good. He just gets a little blind sighted. He was the first middle schooler to ever be adopted into Bofurin. And it was likely because Ume approached Sugishita after seeing his ability and his want for human connection. I really think Sugishita is just,, depressed. He sleeps all the time and he doesn’t know how to cope with feeling bad so he gets angry about it. He’s awkward with people and doesn’t know how to control his facial expressions so the way he shows he cares is through acts of service.

Just look at him,,, He wants to connect with others but has no idea how to,,,

But I do also think we get a somewhat distorted or incomplete version of Sugishita since the story is from Sakura’s perspective. Sakura and Sugishita are kinda like found family brothers and both look up to Ume and fight for his praise. Not that I don’t like it. I find it very charming! :> They’re brothers your honor!!

OH OH OH!!! AND!!!! It’s not directly said but I do think Sugishita looks up to other people. I mean look at his hair. Look at what product he uses. He’s awkward with words and often what he wants to say comes out a completely different way so his actions speak louder than his words. I also know that Japan has a lot of superstition with hair so it might be that he’s following the ‘hair holds memories’ belief. He wants to hold and take care of these new memories that Bofurin has given him. They,, gave him his world. Before he never had much of anything- he doesn’t even have games on his phone or has things he enjoys. But he seems to enjoy things when other people are involved.

I could be totally wrong on all this but that’s my interpretation of the character. :> I like Sugishita a lot and I feel like he’s really often overlooked.

[invisiblerambler]

Carmy doesn't deserve to be left and Sydney doesn't deserve to leave

None of the relationship between the two of them is about what one or the other deserves.

Fundamentally they have never interacted in a way that could be that transactional.

Thinking about this in terms of what Carmy or Syd deserves is such a flattening of both of their characters.

No one (mostly) deserves to have bad things happen to them, and despite all his many many bad coping mechanisms and lash-outs Carmy doesn't deserve to be abandoned again.

He will not recover if Syd leaves him. Do you think he's going to treat anyone better by her deepening his most fundamental trauma wound?

There is whether he realizes it or not a part of Carmy that thinks Syd was sent by Michael to carry out what he could not.

In a more immediate sense he believes this about Claire. I know her character is forced and awkward, but there is an element of realism to the way that Carmy had to regress back into past versions of himself in that environment.

Carm tells Sydney his sister doesn't think he's a genius, but more than that none of his family see him for who he was in New York or Napa or Cophenhagen. They understand he is extremely talented but that doesn't cancel out the fact that they also knew him as a snot-nosed kid.

Carmy feels like he has to complete something by dating Claire. Mikey forced him to come back to Chicago be a part of the restaurant he never wanted Carm to be a part of, but if he has to be here he might as well be with the girl Michael wanted him to be with. Fundamentally Mikey just wanted Carm to be happy fulfilled and safe but Carm doesn't understand Claire was just the stand in for that.

ANYWAYS back to Sydney, Sydney represents the evolved version of that idea. It has always felt like this subtext that Carmy wishes she could have met Mikey and some part of him feels incomplete because of that, but I think he also wants to believe Mikey sent Sydney, not to save him because she is not his babysitter, but like I said to carry out what Mikey couldn't. A true partner in all senses of the word, and I think Richie eventually warming up to Syd is in a way Mikey approving of her by proxy.

Back to the point I was making 5 paragraphs ago, Carmy will not get better or be encouraged to get better if one of the people he is the most emotionally intimate with in his whole life leaves him.

Yes, Syd is fair to demand more out of Carmy and to require better treatment and boundaries and all of the things that would make it a healthy partnership. But that doesn't mean Carm deserves to be dealt a mortal emotional wound in the process. Yes this is a TV show and these people aren't real, but if we start treating life like a chess game like this...

Sydney does not actually need to leave in order for Carm to realize what he needs to realize. He already learned that lesson with Mikey, and by showing that Carm can learn that lesson before the relationship is fully beyond the point of repair (obviously because of death in Mikey's case) is the most profound growth the show could give him.

No he will not be all the way there, he has a lot of work he needs to do, but one of his biggest problems is the way he refuses to let anyone be excellent alongside him. The ultimate growth for him is realizing that greatness doesn't mean anything when you're alone. Jess echoes this when she says she's around great people when she's not at work.

So much of this show is about the way that ambitious and creative people fundamentally cannot survive when they are cut off from everyone else. Carmy is the antithesis of the tortured creative genius because at every point where he cuts everyone else off he fails. That's why I don't think the review can be a pan, because even with him cutting off Syd at every turn she is still the bones of that restaurant.

So Carm does not deserve to be dealt more emotional trauma. Syd deserves to be happy in whatever way that looks like.

[realbeefman]

Do you have any good house fic recs? I am Struggling with my search.

for sure! although Disclaimer, i havent been reading house fanfic for very long and ive pretty much only read house/wilson so far, SO this is more of a hilson fic rec list than anything lol

Warning Signs by out_there - oneshot, 12k words, Wilson-POV, set around the end of s3. SUCH A GOOD FIC i laughed so much while reading this. genuinely delightful. possibly my fav house fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium - oneshot, 12k, Wilson-POV, set after s3 e15. THEEE classic fake-dating AU. this was the first fic i read in this fandom and it absolutely fucks. im a SAP i love a good “no homo but OH GOD THE FEELINGS” plot!!

Desert Mesa Motel - 8 miles outside of Kingman, Arizona - 12:03 AM by plorp - ficlet, 1k, House-POV, post-canon. this makes me BAWL. very very good fic but SAD. and DEPRESSING. will make you CRY/pos

How Not To Be Boring by fourleggedfish - incomplete/abandoned, 497k, Wilson-POV, AU from around mid-s5. if u like whump (which i absolutely do) u will probably like this fic. if u are squicked out by sex, u will hate it bc these guys bang 24/7. this fic had me pacing, glued to my phone, sick to my stomach, crying (several times), and obliterated my sleep schedule. i can’t rec it highly enough. every chapters includes appropriate content warnings, but some major themes that appear throughout are character death (not of main characters), the aftermath of severe child abuse, and mental illness. if any of these topics are a trigger for you, please don’t read this work.

Forsake Me Here by MonsterBoyf - complete, 8k, Wilson-POV, ambiguous setting. Wilson has intrusive thoughts about mutilating House. He tries to cope. features a lot of very graphic imagery and does an excellent but extremely accurate job of portraying an OCD-spiral that could be triggering to people. i LOVE this fic i think about it so so much.

An Inconvenient Truth by anathaema - complete, 15k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. contains the quote “You’re the suicide bomber of revelations” and is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. plus the way in which wilson’s sexuality in this fic is handled is honestly so realistic and entertaining. HIGHLY recc this to absolutely everyone who enjoys hilson

the more it took away by scribespirare - oneshot, 10k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. Omega!House has his first heat since presenting. Alpha!Wilson helps him through it. I LOVE OMEGAVERSE AND I LOVE FUCK OR DIE AND I LOVE THE WAY THIS FIC HANDLES THIS IS JUST GRAHHHH. If u don’t enjoy omegaverse u won’t like this but i can’t make a house fic rec list and NOT include this one

Aftershocks by black_cigarette - series, around 125k in total, various POV’s, set sometime post-Tritter arc. this fic IS gen, but honestly, i didn’t know that going in and didn’t realize it wasn’t a slash fic until the very end. tldr is that wilson is brutally assaulted because house has been gambling with some unsavory people, and house helps him deal with the aftermath. this fic does not pull punches. its is extremely graphic and everything wilson goes through is described in detail. it is a messy story about recovering from brutal trauma and everything that entails. DISCLAIMER: there are sequel(s) to this series available on the author’s livejournal, but i haven’t read them and can’t speak to anything they discuss.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare - complete, 25k, House-POV, set sometime in the early seasons. House lies about having a Jewish boyfriend to get out of visiting his mother at Christmas. Things quickly get out of hand. THIS FIC IS SOOO *tears into it with my teeth*. I love when they scheme together <3

[lurkingshan]

Breaking Down the I Feel You Linger in the Air Finale

Okay pals, I got some sleep and I'm ready to dig into this finale and all its beautiful messiness. I love this show and I'm frankly a little frustrated that we got such an incomplete resolution to the (hopefully) first season when there was ample time to do it right. As ever, pacing and time and information management continue to be major weaknesses for Tee Bundit. As I said last week, the writing for this show has been undeniably messy but it's still holding together on the strength of the production and the performances and the success of some of its big themes and character arcs; that take held firm through the finale and some of the baffling choices made about where to spend our time in this final installment. So, let's dig into it!

The Long Goodbye

I'll say upfront that this is my biggest beef with the pacing of the finale. We spent all of last week on a long and painful goodbye for Yai and Jom, perfectly executed, but for some reason we did another 45 minutes of it this week, not so perfectly executed. While I loved the covering of the mirrors, the saddest sex scene ever (complete with sex moans running as the audio over a memory montage how dare you show!), and the pain of Yai realizing he drew the final picture and watching Jom disappear, we didn't need to retread them saying goodbye to each other over and over again for two entire hours of story time, and we didn't need a long, sappy, on the nose speech from Jom saying things we already knew. As I told @neuroticbookworm, this might be my aro showing but I found the series of repetitive emotional goodbye conversations and memory montages exhausting and not in a good way. If I were the script doctor, I would have kept the mirrors, sad sex, and Yai drawing as the start of the episode and cut the rest, moving much more quickly into the next phase of the story.

Back to the Future

Jom returning to his present day life, trying to cope with his anguish and loneliness and adjust back into things, and further investigating the time travel mystery to figure out a way to reconnect with Yai should have been the main narrative of this episode. Instead, we got a truncated version of it that didn't have time to breath because we'd used up so much time on the above mentioned retread. For my money, Jom's devastation upon finding Yai's letter to him was the most emotionally resonant moment of the finale and the first part of the episode where I almost cried. But we had barely sunk into that feeling before it was abruptly cut short because we were out of time and Tee needed to wrap this baby up.

Eyebrow Scar Yai

Here’s where I get actually kind of peeved, because this final (pre-credits) scene was so poorly set up and executed that to even call it a resolution is a stretch. A modern version of Yai walks into the room, asks Jom why he's crying, tells him he's been waiting for him, kisses him, and then the credits roll!

Now I've been in the tags so I know this caused confusion for anyone who has not read the novel (me too, fam!). And that's because the show had not bothered to establish:

That Yai does in fact have a modern doppelgänger

Who the heck that doppelgänger is and how he’s connected to 1928 Yai

How that doppelgänger would be able to remember Jom when no other doppelgängers in the story can remember their past lives

Based on what we know, could we piece together a reasonable theory about who this man is, how he got there, and the final pieces of the mythology that make sense of it? Sure. In fact, bookworm and I pretty much guessed exactly what the explanation for this was after watching the show, and many of the elements at play here were theorized in conversations we had last week. Book readers like @tipsyjaehyun have now confirmed the full explanation for anyone who cares to go read it.

But the show did not tell us any of this information. If you have to read the novel or have novel readers spoil you on aspects of the story that the show didn't bother to cover in order to understand the ending of the story, the execution has failed. And given the pacing notes above, there is really no reason we couldn't have gotten a better set up for this ending with Eyebrow Scar Yai (yes I know his name but no I'm not using it because the show didn't bother telling me; I am petty like that). Jom could have found this descendant during his time of processing and the ending could have hinged on us realizing this modern Yai is a reincarnation who has his past life memories intact; had we gone into a final kiss between them feeling grounded in all of that knowledge, it would have landed so much better.

Hello Commander

And now on to the post-credits scene, where Tee puts a plea into the universe to give him a second season so he can play around in another time period and explore what is evidently the origin of this soul tie between Jom and Yai. I chose to read this episode tag as separate from the actual season 1 narrative, and I think that was the intention given its placement. If they secure funding for a second season, this tag scene becomes the beginning of that next story, with Eyebrow Scar Yai's kiss sending Jom into another time travel adventure. If they don't we can just ignore it and pretend the pre-credits scene was the end (which is why I'm not happy it was so poorly done). I, for one, would love to see a second season to explore another time period and give Tee a chance to clean up some of this mess he has made of the mythology and season 1 resolution. Shouts to @clairedaring for reporting back from the live showing of the finale on what the possibilities are looking like there. Fingers crossed we get a continuation of this story some day!

Tagging in @waitmyturtles and @twig-tea who also have linked posts above. And shouts to @blmpff @cankersoregirl @pharawee @wanderlust-in-my-soul @italianpersonwithashippersheart @bengiyo @dragonsareawesome123 @wen-kexing-apologist @junghaesin @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @chickenstrangers @sunshinechay @btwinlines for posting about this show every week and making it such a fun watch despite having a small audience on here. It was a pleasure watching this with you all!

[yuujiheart]

I didn't like how the new chapter was not dedicated entirely to sukuna and yuji and instead rushed and forced shounen trio and some random plot about Yuta being in danger (sorry I can't stand Yuta, to me Yuki IS the mc and I'm tired of Yuji being denied)

I want to think Yuji ate sukuna offscreen (remember his grandpa said to help people even if they don't say thanks), thats why the abrupt ending and not showing sukuna 100% evaporate

I hope the last chapter ends with Yuji AND sukuna. Make them reincarnate together or something. The others subplots I don't care about (unless it's yuji family)

It's alright anon don't be sorry. I think it was inevitable since gege has to wrap up things and solve important plot points before it ends. I knew this would happen when jjk ending was announced. I didn't expect the whole chap because we already saw a lot of them in 265 but i do feel a proper conclusion was missing..but only from sukuna's side.. That person is hiding too much in his heart, it was a shame we never got to see how he really felt about all these things.. I feel that was the moment where I wanted to hear what sukuna had to say. Doesn't matter what he does after that... Not reading between lines or speculations from readers..

Tbh, I have disconnected myself from it completely since I don't really have any hope and it's not because there aren't any clues, it's because of gege.. I feel like he already provided us what he really intended to. But I will still share with you what I think could have happened....since not caring anymore does not mean my brain has stopped working...

I think I will start with the finger thing.. Most obvious cope..that finger is sukuna's part of soul which means his consciousness does reside in it so yuji can actually eat it although Gumi said it wouldn't have enough pull to connect his soul but i think suku's soul link with yuji can compensate for that. Helping suku to reincarnate.

We were told many times how yuji is linked to sukuna and shoko said yuji has become like his finger so u can add that too.. So if resonance actually works because of their soul link so i would believe sukuna soul is still there since it's connected to yuji.

Since his last finger is still here, his soul is incomplete and wouldn't be able to reincarnate like a regular soul. so that means he is still in the limbo/ cursed realm (remember once uro said it's like coming back from hell) maybe pondering over what yuji said to him..just like how he was before yuji ate finger for first time

Like you said there's a good chance that yuji has eaten him since yuji really wanted him to live a normal life.. He was really sad that suku rejected his offer. so wouldn't be surprised of he did that.

The conclusion itself gives hope. Since it was abrupt. That there is more to their story... Although it didn't to me...

About other subplots, I think yuji already knows about kenny ig. That's why he referred both him and sukuna as being born with a curse. Maybe with the help of gojo considering he's telling every first year about their parents.. . I don't have any expectations left anymore . Will just accept whatever gege gives to us... I can't really care about anything atp. Like he can bring back gojo and I would be fine with it...

Although I would love that gege proves me wrong ..

[decepti-thots]

That post about aileron reminded me of how I think of nautica trying to erase skids from her memory like she just doesn’t know how to cope with death and loss cause she was removed from the wild ass war! It’s a weird beat in the comic but it speaks loudly to me

Ohhh yeah. These two are definitely a couple different perspectives on a theme, as it were.

While I have critiques of Nautica's arc in execution there (it's… got a LOT of flaws and IMO does not stick the landing at all, to put it pretty mildly; hence why I find exRiD overall better at exploring these ideas), I think it's a real shame that unlike so many other arcs in MTMTE/LL with issues or incomplete resolutions or whatever, there doesn't seem to be a lot of interest in taking the core emotional idea and running with it in fandom spaces? It feels like a really toothy emotional hook to latch onto that a lot could be done with as a part of the canon that is definitely a font of massive missed potential and lingering threads. (God, it really kills me ever since it was first pointed out to me how Nautica and Brainstorm's relationship might change because he's watching her do what Chromedome kept doing.) Nautica gets stuck in a kind of Cheerful Generic Girl Best Friend mode in fandom that skips past uhhh. A lot of her actual canon presence, when you really look at it!

It's especially interesting to think about because as a species their feelings about death are very different, right? Which IDW1 does address, and MTMTE specifically mentions this, with Cyclonus talking about how there's one version of the Guiding Hand myth that states Cybertronians are "immortal" because they killed Mortilus. Like. They don't have a lot of context for death as a regular, natural part of life that everyone comes into contact with in the day to day. Caminus isn't just full of civilians in the way you or I might be a civilian during peacetime; if you're a civilian for these folks, death is an abnormality period, a freak accident or whatever at most. (And even then: you're so hard to kill, it can't be common.) Cybertronians in the war are the weird ones for being used to it as a regular occurrence, and for both Aileron and Nautica it's not just that their friends experience traumatic and violent deaths, but that they die at all. It's got to be existentially destabilising in a way so many of the characters on that ship just can't relate to. (Tailgate likely could, but he's uhhhh, he's got other stuff going on at that point, so we will forgive him being too busy, lmao.)

Hell, I mentioned Brainstorm. He's an MTO. MTOs are the first of the currently living generations of their species to grow up with no memory of a society in which people do not regularly die; even once peacetime sets in, we see that they have reached the point in their species' lifespan where death by old age is becoming increasingly common and thus part of their cultural landscape. Those are a lot of Nautica's friends, who maybe want to help but have no easy way to really understand why she's reacting so strongly, you know?

Ohhh I love Nautica so much. Can you tell. Someone hug that poor woman good lord.

[undertale-fic-librarby]

fic rec! cus i read it all in one sitting just now and it made me sob like a baby! :)

Til Death Do Us Part by CozyEldritch

Howdy, & thanks for the recommendation! The fic being recommended is…

Til Death Do Us Part by CozyEldritch (Explicit, Incomplete)

Cross loses his husband in the worst possible time. Right before they’re to go home. Now he’s trying to cope, but how could he when he's dragged into the world his husband had left behind all because he saved a baker from getting shot in his bakery? He wanted to mourn in peace with some coffee. Not house a couple of criminals from his husband's past and be mocked.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I just HAVE TO ask for someone else's opinion on this lil theory of mine. Hear me out. I think that in book7 Leona gotta pull through just like we all know Idia will, as in he will play an important active role in the story. Because I feel like 1- Leona is the only one in the OB gang who's story arc still haven't concluded and 2- If there's someone in NRC who's ready to beat up Malmal it is Leona. 3- those new character name tags are sus, both Leona and Idia have the title of king and there's always seems to be some sort of dynamic between both of them. (Believe me it just makes sense to me and tbh I might be lowkey just hoping for more Leona lol)

Mmm, I don’t think that’s likely 😅 just for the reason that this would interrupt the pacing of book 7 and give one extra OB boy more screen time than the rest (which is unfair to everyone else).

The focus of book 7 is already heavily bloated by the importance of the others in Diasomnia, plus the Ignihyde brothers and the family members of each. Including Leona in there might also rob Idia and Ortho of their own time in the spotlight to cap off their development and growth from last book. Maybe it’s possible (since book 6 did juggle all of the prior OB boys), but again it would still be unfair to only give more screen presence to one of them instead of all of them. Back then, Leona and everyone else also expressed a desire to beat up Idia for what he’s done, so I don’t think the attitude is exclusive to Leona when their lives are all in danger.

I think the reason why Leona’s arc may feel “incomplete” is because book 2’s writing was generally not good?? But in reality, I don’t think anyone has had a full change in character as a result of those arcs yet. All of the OB boys are still very much going through it and learning new ways to cope with and adapt to their personality quirks and backgrounds. (We see this as late as book 6 for all the OB boys, not just Leona.)

In regards to the new character titles, I don’t know if those can be used as evidence for anything yet?? They’re just vague enough to summarize each character’s overall vibe. Basically all the dorm leaders have some kind of synonym for someone very powerful, but it doesn’t denote a strong relationship between them. For example, I could say that both Malleus and Riddle go by “Ruler” (Ruler of the Abyss and Rose-Red Ruler, respectively). Does that mean I think Riddle alone will snap out of his dream to team up with Idia and smack Malleus upside the head to make the story come full circle (ie book 1 dorm leader vs book 7 dorm leader)??? No, I’d just say the wording is a coincidence.

With the breakneck pace book 7 is already going at, I think it’s better that they just stay centered on the Diasomnia drama and cast instead of shifting to include one random other character in it. If there’s going to be a shift anyway, I’d imagine it would be shared among many characters and thus each person has a very short and limited segment to shine.

[cruyuu]

My crackpot theory I've been using to cope is that Sukuna's death scene wasn't the full scene, I think Gege is intentionally hiding something from us. The main reason I think this is that we never actually saw Sukuna die. There was no zoomed out scene of Sukuna's ashes like there was when Uraume disintegrated, there was no panel of Yuuji's empty hands after Sukuna faded away, no real confirmation that Sukuna, the main antagonist, actually died besides Uraume assuming that he did. Maybe they were right and that was the official confirmation, but I think it might be a fake out, especially since most of the major characters who died usually had some sort of scene where they reflect on their life and death, either through flashbacks, an afterlife scene, or an inner monologue, none of which Sukuna had this chapter.

Another thing I noticed that I think points to us not having seen the full scene is that Sukuna's last words end with an ellipse, even in the raws, which could mean that he said those words with his dying breath, but I still think the ellipse means Sukuna's "final" words weren't the end of the conversation between them and maybe Yuuji managed to convince Sukuna to live with him. I'm sure I'm making several reaches, but all of these things make me suspect what we saw was incomplete and we'll (hopefully) see more of what happened in the coming chapters, even if I'm wrong about it meaning Sukuna survived.

Hi anon!

Well, we've all got our theories and I gotta say yours is quite plausible as well. At this point, there's more questions than answers and his end (if it truly is the end) is pretty... underwhelming. There's stuff there, yes, but when you really sit and think, you'll come to realize there's a lot of faults with his death. Some state that (if he's truly dead and never to return) that it's a cheap send off because we don't know anything about him, not his thoughts, not why he chose death, nothing. We can only continue assuming and guessing. Getting a backstory also seems impossible since there's like 3 more chapters until the end but idk maybe? I really don't know.

And even if I'm trying to say "oh well sure it's fine" I have to admit they do have a point.

But, overall, it doesn't seem like a reach to me to think that Sukuna isn't truly dead. It just feels like suspense and not an actual send-off. It just feels like he'll come back without any warnings next chapter or maybe even the last chapter, who may know. Maybe I'm just overdosing on cope (because he, alongside Yuuji, is also my fav) and it really is just that– nothing else and nothing more– but I do have my suspicions and the way that nothing about him had still been revealed.

It just feels like there's a twist coming. Idk.

[cowchickenbeefpork]

How does the craving/yearning correlate to the NPD and BPD for Oswald and Edward? Mostly curious for your thoughts about it

tbh that tag was me going insane I don't fully agree with it now per se. I don't like the original post I made where I compared them to yearning and craving because I compared their relationship to that instead of who they are as people, which was my thought process. I'm not sure if I was right about yearning and borderline idealization, but i do think i was right about craving and narcissism (btw I only made that post because i was watching Contrapoints video about the fucking TWILIGHT books, and since i have the intelligence of a mere banana I connected her opinions on yearning and craving back to nygmobblepot and mental disorders because that is how I show my appreciation to anything I find cool. keep in mind the definition I am using here is stolen from her and she took notes from Shakespeare, Taylor Swift, twilight as previously mentioned, and SEINFELD FOR HER THOUGHTS. Still, she is a great YouTuber go watch her she is one of my favorites.)

what I'm considering craving as definition wise is a desire that can be satisfied but only for a moment, constantly needing to be refilled. its like craving drinking or eating, it will satisfy you but you will constantly need to do it over and over and over in your life, it can be fulfilled unlike yearning but never for long, you will always need to refill it since it will never stick. craving is also less personal than yearning since it doesn't acknowledge something is deeply missing, it provides a temporary solution for something that will which makes craving end up resembling more so something like lust instead of limerence

i view narcissistic supply similarly to this. narcissism as a disorder is just trying to keep your false self up, it can be satisfied for a while but it will always still need to be refilled because of the fact its not a genuine love for yourself. narcissism is like having an addiction to feeling special in a way, that's why the craving for admiration never stops, because since they don't naturally feel content about themselves, narcissism as a coping mechanism works as tricking both the self and others that false, idealized self is real. the craving itself is a cope to hide the yearning in a way, the craving here only exists because of a deeper deficit. edward is not aware that he yearns for love and admiration, he thinks that he can just get a bit of it and be content forever, but he wont. ( fun fact the false grandiose self is actually the main difference in bpd and npd, they do have alot of simliarties like projection and splitting and a want for admiration and love but borderlines dont have that false idealized grandiose self unless they also have npd on top of their bpd. this is probablyyyy why borderlines are more easier to maniuplate since narcissistic defendses are stronger and more durable than borderline ones, there is a reason borderlines often split on themselves while narcissists don't that much)

yearning is wanting your other half, it's wanting to inherently fill out that incomplete part of yourself. You could make a connection between BPD and yearning since things like idealization and chronic feelings of emptiness but I feel less confident in this one. the yearning will also never be fulfilled just like the craving is, Oswald thinks that he will feel fine when he finally gets it but his idea of love is idealized. That version of love he craves does not exist since love requires effort and work, and even if it did he would still fail at it because of his cannibalistic nature when it comes to love, nothing is enough for him, he will hold unto someone until their bones break. that cannibalistic desire ends up becoming similar to the craving in my head a little, because nothing will be enough. he also uses people to bring himself up ego but doesn't want to reflect on how his actions are selfish, pretty much downplaying or playing victim about it and acting like he is not as bad as the other criminals are ( both of them do this, to be honest, I would say it is different but not really besides which one plays up the other as a irrational fool more than a malicious monster out to get them and vise versa, they devalue and demonize each other in the same ways; both feel like the other just lied about ever caring for them)

basically what I am getting at here is ed thinks that he can just get his needs met if he does things that will only satisfy him temporally ( since he's a "cold logician MY ASS) and will not stop the constant, unaware yearning for genuine love while Oswald thinks he will be satisfied if he gets that, when he won't, he will want more and more until there is nothing left but bones. Oswald thinks his desire could be fulfilled perfectly if he just met the right person but no one will satisfy that hunger, he pretends he does not crave like Edward does but he still does. both of them have the same problems but both of them try to hide them differently and express them differently, edward is more ashamed looking like he is irrational and Oswald is more ashamed of being SEEN as a monster. ( neither of them like being viewed like that but both of them clearly have a preference for a different insult, edward just convinces himself that they are basically just ants who don't know better and oswald goes by a more the ends justify the means approach, edward does want to be loved and admired but he thinks that is not possible in the more traditional oswald way, so he does a bunch of crime shit instead to prove how smart he is and to get that love and admiration)

edward has the same yearning as Oswald but he pretends he doesn't, Oswald has the same craves as edward does but pretends he doesn't

[lunar-serpentinite]

very incomplete thoughts because im just pulling shit out of my ass at this point but honestly i feel like dark!harry would be dangerously nihilistic. the stress and heavy burdens of being the Chosen One who is also being unheard by the rest and slandered every other day or so would drive him to one final breakdown before he decides he has finally had enough

we know that harry is the type to feel a lot. he is regularly driven by his emotions and his morals and his wishes to actually help. so when he's had enough, he could just straight up not feel anything. after all, his feelings dont really matter in the big picture. why should he bother anymore ?

now we know that suppression of Magic, whether through conscious choice or to cope with abuse, can result in an Obscurial so it won't be too far of a stretch to say that excessive suppression of emotions can also result in something as dangerous for wixen.

so picture this : harry's had enough. he wants out of literally everything he's going through right now. and in the midst of his distress and slowly fraying sanity, he wishes hard enough to "stop feeling anything" that his own Magic obeys

harry goes from feeling too much to feeling nothing at all . there's a void in his chest where his emotions should be, and he finds that it really doesn't bother him at all. he feels the most peaceful he has been in a long, long while. the void in his chest grows larger still and slowly, he begins to think that nothing really matters in the end.

he thinks about everyone. they tout and scream to the rooftops that hes the chosen one, that hes supposed to stop voldemort, that he is destined for greatness. but then they treat him like a child, like a fragile little thing who cant do anything right. they dont believe a lot of what he says, and would rather be swayed by the words of dumbledore or the prophet or skeeter. he doesnt really matter all that much to them, he supposes. hes just their little symbol of hope, there to sit pretty and wait til the final duel.

well. none of that anymore. they can deal with voldemort by themselves. doing anything for or against them would mean nothing anyways. he's an immature child in their eyes anyways, so an immature child he will be.

harry doesn't notice that the void hes been feeling in his chest has started to affect him and his surroundings as well. it's like he has become a small black hole, draining the life and the magic of everything around him. and if someone comes close enough to him, he'd be draining their emotions as well.

he and his magic have effectively squashed any and all feelings he has besides apathy. all he cares about now is getting the rest he deserves and letting the world fall to ruins. they can figure it out, he thinks, not like they ever needed him anyways. and i feel like with the absence of his emotions and morals, he'd be more inclined to using crueler spells just to keep his peace.

he still has a bit of his dramatic flair so harry probably lays himself to rest somewhere like beneath the rubble of his family's home, which is the closest he can be to "resting with his parents beneath the snow". he pulls a bella swan, lays there all numb and uncaring, and lets the world pass him by

meanwhile, the void in his chest grows larger and stronger still. it feeds from the remains of harry's emotions and the vitality of the environment around them. eventually, it grows enough that it becomes capable of manifesting outside of harry and it becomes somewhat like an Obscurus, shapeless and near invisible but capable of dealing large amounts of damage. however, it stays in place and only acts when it perceives a threat to harry's rest, which is pretty much anything that moves within their vicinity

potter cottage becomes a little bubble of nihility. it eats at anything that comes near and people become horribly numbed if they come too close. sometimes harry can hear his friends call out to him from within, but hes getting the rest he has been wanting for so long. they can figure things out by themselves.

so

yeah

that's the thought

[n--n]

So can you elaborate on the lyrics of Poison being uninspired? I think a big problem with them is that there’s supposed to be a dramatic switch up in tone at the end, but it’s not actually big because the song has no dark subtext, the darkness is pure text. You can’t have a character say “My stories gonna end with me dead from your poison” then expect us to be shocked when the song gets sad in the end.

Addict was something people could have actually comfortably danced to in the club, which makes it hit when the concept is flipped to the dark side of itself, and it fits thematically, because it’s him coming down from his high, and he’s taking in what’s become of his life. Angel wasn’t happy before the ending of Poison so why is the song suddenly sad now like anything has changed?

But to me the lyrics seem unique enough. Like I can’t say any of them are cliches or platitudes. Though it kind of annoys me that the second verse like a regular pop song, but a real pop song has eight lines in verse one, this one has six and the Yeah yeah yeahs don’t count, so the second verse has an odd number of lines and just feels incomplete. That could be an example of it being uninspired.

Thank you for this ask it gives me an excuse to surgically open this song and really understand why it bothers me so much. Also it's 12 and I haven't rewatched it in a while so I might come back tomorrow and rewrite this so take it w a grain of salt sorry abt that.

In a nutshell- it's uninspired to me bc its such a nothingburger of a song. Like what do we get from it that we don't already know about Angel- either from the show itself, side content like the Addict video, or even from posts about him? Nothing. And lyrics aside, although the beat is good it's just a generic pop tune like Addict was a generic Kesha tune ya'know? Nothing about the melody particularly stood out to me as unique on its own or helping the storytelling. Even the fact that it's so upbeat in spite of the lyrics and visuals works against it when it gets towards the end and fails at trying to surprise you that it's sad.

"...so the second verse has an odd number of lines and just feels incomplete"

^^See thank you for articulating this bc I don't actually know much about how to articulate my thoughts on music, but this does help me make sense of why the actual tune just didn't grab me/felt off.

Also, going w/ the comparison to All You Wanna Do again- it's uninspired in that it also tries to do the thing where it makes a character use sexual innuendo to cope/describe the sa but falls so flat. Like,

"So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp

Yeah, I know it's poison You're feedin' me poison I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice and Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow"

Angel Dust does his dance as he sings this-and the images of him in his fetish gear/parts of the assault appear on screen, and he even poses in the positions it's implied he's being assaulted in. Like, was ALL of that necessary when the lyrics are already telling us directly what's happening to him??? Katherine made sex jokes abt her sa too, but we get to see her as her own character outside of the assaults and we learn so much about her pov, how it affected her entire life, etc. I feel like I wouldn't find it even that egregious if we had gotten to have scenes where the audience gets to see Angel be himself outside of the performative mask he wears+his suffering, but he was only used for cheap sex jokes when interacting w the others at the hotel. And now in his song, he redundantly sings abt his situation which we have already been shown:

"I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear Yeah, yeah, yeah"

We saw his conflict w Husk over how fake he is, saw him placate Val over the phone, and I can't recall if we saw him disassociate but regardless. The point is we know all this, it didn't need to be a song let alone a whole music video. If we left the scene after Val abused Angel in the backroom and made Charlie leave it would have been waaayyyyy more weighty and foreboding than this song/MV.

ALSO:

"You can’t have a character say “My stories gonna end with me dead from your poison” then expect us to be shocked when the song gets sad in the end." + "...and it fits thematically, because it’s him coming down from his high, and he’s taking in what’s become of his life."

^^^^THIS!! They really tried leaning into the tragedy of his situation but really just ended up making him a tool for whump instead. Addict was put together wayyy better musically, thematically and visually- it actually felt impactful when we're left with Angel Dust crying on the bed w his pet comforting him, whereas Poison leaving him on the ground left me feeling nothing but annoyance.

[nofomogirl]

Before the Beginning (part 2.2.)

Part 1.1. | Part 1.2. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.4. | Part 1.5. |

Part 2.1. | Part 2.3. | Part 2.4. |

Continuing from the previous post (I really recommend checking it out before this one).

Let's consider each of my theories.

Aziraphale got it wrong

This theory's biggest appeal is that it paints an interesting picture of knowledge in Heaven. Or rather lack of it.

Before the Beginning Aziraphale is genuinely interested in the plan and generally comes across as well-informed. If he was wrong about what was it that was intended to last 6000 years, that begs the question: what kind of information was he working with? How vague and incomplete it must have been to misdirect him like this?

What if this was not an isolated slip or a personal flaw but this is what Heaven is like, in general? What if nothing is truly certain and just an interpretation, and therefore potentially wrong?

Good Omens do toy a lot with ideas like Heaven not being huge on knowledge so it would be fitting.

Heaven changed its mind

I imagine this theory would be particularly compelling if your headcanon is that Aziraphale genuinely believed he could course-correct Heaven's policies and make it better.

I mean, if Heaven originally intended to obliterate the entire universe but at some point scrapped that plan and decided to destroy just a single planet then there's no reason why it couldn't change other plans too.

Also, what I've written for the first theory about information in Heaven being unreliable still mostly holds because if plans can change then who's to say which ones are set in stone and which ones are negotiable.

Crowley doesn't remember

This theory's strongest point is that it's the simplest explanation. It's very likely within the current canon and it doesn't spawn as many additional questions as the others.

If Aziraphale got it wrong or Heaven changed its mind, when did Crowley find out? Before or after the Fall? If this was his first doubt why didn't it change anything that it wasn't the case in the end? Did Aziraphale find out it is going to be just Earth after all?

That's just the tip of the iceberg, really.

But memory loss makes it all simpler and doesn't contradict anything we already know.

Crowley is in denial

Now this theory, this one is my favourite.

That's because it offers an explanation for why Crowley constantly brushes off inconvenient facts other than "he's just an optimist" or "it's for Aziraphale's sake" or my least favourite "he knows it doesn't really matter".

Crowley is a trauma survivor who's permanently trapped in an oppressive and abusive system. That does things to a person. It leads to trauma responses and coping mechanisms that are often unhealthy and irrational.

(Funnily enough, while Aziraphale's abuse is so frequently invalidated, there are still a lot of amazing metas out there analyzing how his trauma messed with his head, as traumas tend to do. But I haven't seen similar takes on Crowley. Yes, his abuse is never questioned but it's constantly romanticized, which, if you think about it, isn't any better.)

In my opinion, Crowley's coping mechanism is that when there's something terrible that he cannot change, he does his best to ignore it and live his life as if it weren't true, sometimes to the point of pushing it entirely out of his consciousness.

My headcanon

As I've already written, I strongly favour the last theory. But that's not what I mean by "my headcanon".

My headcanon is that whatever is the reason and however it happened, Aziraphale and Crowley believe two different things. Crowley believes the 6000 years deadline applies to Earth alone. Aziraphale still believes it applies to the entire material universe. And they're both unaware that the other understands the End of the World differently.

I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this.

I hope to find some time and unsurprise you with it in the next post.