#he’s been so active today
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pls get him back into his stupid fast car bc man’s getting bored😭😭
#he’s been so active today#lando norris#f1#mclaren#lando gifs#lando twitter#ln4#quadrant#mclaren f1#formula 1#.x
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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someone might have already said this, I’ve been a little mia, buuut now that I have thought about it more, the couch scene actually makes so much sense?
the thing is, we’ve only been considering the couch metaphor from a meta standpoint - and don’t get me wrong, that is def an important aspect and they have been using it as such, for examply by showing us that the answer to the couch question is eddie’s couch (thank you 6x12 couch scene my most beloved <3) - but in that we are kinda forgetting that in contrast to the other metaphors (most notably heart and water metaphors <3) the couch metaphor first and foremost isn’t a meta metaphor, it is buck’s metaphor and thereby the only metaphor that the characters are actively aware of and so while the meta aspects of it definitely are at play (and in my opinion do hold up, because of course he has grown, but not yet enough and so this time the couch choice is half his own, while half still put on someone else again, and he still doesn’t see the one right in front of him) more importantly buck is actively trying to use the couch metaphor and is actively trying to put it into play by being proactive, but it also means that the couch metaphor is not infallible, because buck is not infallible
from buck’s perspective, natalia is a good candidate and he didn’t compromise on his own boundaries for her and she still came back and stood beside him through the emotional mess that was kameron having the baby even tho that was what originally made her run - of course he would want the couch metaphor to work for the two of them (people have said it before, but it bears repeating: buck is not omniscient, he does not see the narrative signs for why he and natalia are doomed!) and of course that would make him actively put the couch metaphor into play, it’s almost like a test, like him asking can we actually ‘pick a couch’ together that works for both of us synonymous with him asking if they actually fit (which is a big step up, because it IS him making that choice and him recognizing that ‘picking a couch’ kinda needs to be a both partners kinda thing and a compromise, not him accepting couches that are hoisted on him) - and only s7 will tell us and more importantly buck the answer to that, even tho we as the audience know that the couch buck is at ease on is already out there and waiting for him to see it <3
#9-1-1#911 spoilers#evan buckley#couch beloved#911 meta#buddie#kinda#couch is always buddie xD#anyways#I don't know if this makes sense to anyone#and whether or not the general idea has already been pointed out by someone else#because I have spent most of the last two days hacking up my lungs akldakjahskj#BUT#I had this realization today while thinking about the balcony couch question scene and buck's demeanor during it#he is actively trying to make the couch metaphor work for him#and that is not a bad thing#because it is him actively going into a relationship inquisitive and wondering whether it might work and NOT just letting a relationship#happen to him and expecting it to be the end-all perfect fairytale#so yeaaah growth <3 but not quite there yet#I will probs come back to this and have more thoguhts#but yeah#taht is where I am at <3
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ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race
#which id managed to sort of convince myself was maybe#it’s been like 15 years he’s had time to learn better#but the comment Immediately about ‘different colors’ in todays ep#and w the toymakers past.#i’m hoping for the best i really actively am but i’m hesitant#not even writing about race just writing that has anything to do w it#i will never forgive him for martha jones#and my cynicism is saying bringing dt back for three eps and specifically being pretty good about trans people and disabled people#is a good favor investment so he can keep a progressive image and get away w racism#i don’t actually believe that for the record#i’m just worried ncuti gatwa is gonna have to deal with Some Bullshit that’s gonna get blamed on him instead of rtd yk#which is bad for him bc it means a bad working environment and also like. taking the blame for something he didn’t even do#or that if he pushes back on something bad he’ll get branded as difficult to work with etc#anyway. worry once suffer twice or whatever and i think i said all this when the announcements were made#it’s just on my mind again#i want the best for the show and the people making it yk?
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One of the most beautiful things about being a Christian is the fact that I can take my sorrows, my worries, my pain, my joys, my desires, my hope--all of it!--directly to God. And he cares about it. Even when it's small and personal, and even when it's so big I can't deal with it myself. I can take all of it to him, and I know he will take care of it.
#there is so much peace even when I have a lot to trouble me#i was absolutely devastated today to learn something (it doesn't directly affect me but it hurts me to know about it)#and I couldn't deal with it myself#and I haven't been the greatest at keeping actively in prayer recently#but this was so big I had to take it to God right away#and the peace I have now that I've done that is so great#sometimes it feels like ��WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING”#and i don't for a second want to dissuade someone from doing something if they have the means and the abilities and the backing to do it#BY ALL MEANS IF THE LORD WILLS IT GO AND DO IT#but some things are beyond our abilities#beyond us in every way#but if it still bothers us we can take it to God and rest assured that in taking it to him#we have done more than if we had personally tackled the issue ourselves#because what is impossible even for the most powerful person on earth is not impossible with God#and we are promised that if we pray in accordance to his will he will answer those prayers#so i have taken my pain to God and I came back feeling renewed#what a friend we have in Jesus#how blessed to be able to take my sorrow to the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE#i am so grateful for being the uniquely Christian ability to approach our God and speak to him directly#he is so so good
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no cause why would u eat the food I prepped
#food#personal#i batch boiled eggs and had 2 left for today#i went to eat my eggs and notice theyre not in the fridge#hes actively boiling more eggs#likeeeeeee why not just boil more eggssssss#instead of eating mine#were also just running low on groceries so theyve been eating my safe foods which is fineeee ig but dont touch the shit i was planning#ig im waiting til he gets off work at 9 to eattttt#its finee i def can wait but i had a whole plan#no but watch him go out to eat instead of the store#maybe i can talk him into whataburger if so and omad a salad cause they hwve really good salad#idk
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Eat you alive like a carnivore.
#[ just some fav lyrics that fit him perfectlyyyyyy ]#[ HELLO GUYS! ]#[ i've been busy ]#[ mostly i've just been drawing fjfjfj so i'm active on my instagram ]#[ but feel like writing today and MAN i miss nnoi ]#[ re-watched the anime scene where he kills grimmjow u v u ]#[ what can i say... he's just THE STRONGEST <55555 ]#[ hope you're all doing good guys! thank you for your patience!! ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.#the praying mantis. ╱ canon verse.
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Nooo cam u dont want to analyze the psychology behind mikes actions in the bite of 83 even though scott didnt put anywhere near your amount of thought into it noo dont do that. freak
#(guy who loves psychoanalyzing people voice) Yeah idk i just think that theres a difference in severity of mikes bullying of cc#compared to when his friends were around and considering mikes age and the impulse in teenagers to impress others you want to like you#(ie your friends) its likely he decided to do the thing he knew would upset cc the most bc he was focused on making sure his brother is the#most afraid possible so he and his friends can get a laugh and enjoy themselves and Fuck Thinking About Consequences We're Like 15 Bro#compared to when youre alone and have no one to impress / to egg you on / indulge your negative behaviors so he may not go as far as#actively putting him in a dangerous situation because without anyone around you to influence you youre more likely to think before you act#(to some extent) which is why prior to shoving his head in fbs mouth he only ever just jumpscared him and locked him in a room which wasnt#actively dangerous iirc. i dont think i have any more to say Does that make sense#if this is incoherent just know its getting late dont question me i may or may not be eepy depending on if this makes sense or not#anyway !! this is also NOT to say that michael wasnt to blame OR that he was peer pressured into doing it#im just saying that i dont think it would have happened if he was alone. for these reasons. thank you gn this has been my tedtalk.#and if you read all the way to the end then id like to say: what are you doing with your life /lh#am i putting too much thought into it? Yeah this is fnaf. of course. i doubt it was thought out much. but thats what i doooooo#they call me the thinker guy the way i. think. ok thats enough talking for today cameron#cam.txt#oh and if this is like. obvious. i guess. then shhhh i said nothinggg. perdóname. no oísteis nada
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I LOOOVE LOVE ALL THE NPCS IN PRIME DEFENDERS!! THEYRE EACH SO UNIQUE AND COOL, WITH THE GREATEST THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY GIVE TO SUPER HEROS IN A SUPER HERO UNIVERSE: WAAACKY FUCKIN SUPER POWERS!! (MADE WITH ONLY PEN AND COLORED PENCILES, MISTAKES CORRECTED WITH PAPER N GLUE)
#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#QUIIIICK TAKE IT BEFORE I NOTICE MORE PROBLAMS!! THIS TOOK TOOOO LONG TO MAKE#I STRUGGLED WITH THE COLORS BECAUSE you see. i had ONLY red pens and orange pens but NO pencils of the color#ALSO no brown pencil so i HAD TO COLOR MIX FOR THE SHADES. It was only today that i got a brown pencil (not even a good one)#i scribbled on a paper with the red n oranges to put it on lightly and it was HARD but i think it worked okay#NOT BAD FOR MY STUPID SEt up where i only use what i can steals from left over things at the school i work at#ANYWYAY SO PRIME DEFENDERS HUH#SIUDDENLY GOT OBBSESSED WITH IT AGAIN OUTA NOWHERE AUUGHHH THE BRAIN ROOOOTTTTM#I REALLY LOVE HOW THE NEW EPISODES HAVE BEEN GOING TEHEHEHEEE#I LOOVE THAT ALASTYR CROSS IS HERE MY BABY BOOYYY LOOK AT HIM ALL GROWN UP#HES SO STRANGE AND ODD AND SILLY AND POSSIBLY DANGEROUS#I ALSO LOVE FLOW!! IVE ONLY KNOWN HER A DAY AND UHH I WOULD UHH I WOULDD WAVE AT HER N SAY HAIIIII :333#OH ALSO UH#SO THE UH#SO LE FROG AND WORDSMITH HUH#YOU HAD ME AT 'but i LOVE youu'#LIKE IMAGINE RIGHT? LIKE JUST THINK ABOUT IT? JUST PONDER IT FORA SEC#IMAGINE THOSE TWO ON A COFFEE DATE WITH LEFROG IN FULL COSTUME AND WORDSMITH ACTIVELY TRYING TO LEAVE#I SHIP EM NOT BC THEY WORK WELL TOGETHER IM SHIPPIN EM BC ITS SOOOOO FUNNY#BUT REMEMBER. THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF CRACKSHIPS. CRACKS CAN LEAD TO CAVERNS. AND 40 TO 50 PEOPLE GET LOST IN CAVES PER YEAR#ANYWAY THAT S MY RAMBLE I AHVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW#BAIII THANKS FOR READIN MY RAMBLES
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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Other parents when their kid wants to softmod a console, probably: Are you sure you want to do that? 🤨 Don't come crying to me if you break it 😒
My parents: Omg dude dooo it that's gonna be so sickkkkkk
#cookie.txt#this is strongly paraphrased but i've been really surprised with how much my parents have actively encouraged me modding my consoles#my dad in particular - he says having that kind of tech experience will be good for me#i feel like the average parent would be more discouraging ''you're gonna break it :/''#anyway i'm gonna try to mod my dsi later today. i've had it since i was 10 and want to give it some new life#it was my first console that was specifically for me so it's special 🥺
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You know what? Fuck you. *Bloodbornes your Pinnochio again*
#sin scribbles#(hi im back from finishing ng++ on lies of p and now i have nothing left to do so my vacation in krat is over)#(ive since changed my mind. now i have literally every amulet every weapon and a grand total of 420 levels LMAO MAYBE I WILL DO THE DLC!!!)#(when the dlc eventually and inevitably comes out that is)#(but for now i have returned to yharnam and thought itd be funny to do a pino run bc i am simple and easily pleased.)#(watch the joke fully be on me when i get attached to this hunter and he just becomes his own thing tho LMAO)#(ahhhh....bloodborne. i missed ye dearly)#(as much fun as i ended up having with lop once entering ng+ lmao)#(oh yeah my new adhd meds came in today so wish me luck!! i may be finally able to return to my art properly now!!!! AAAAAAA)#(should i livestream the pinnochio run 😂 i feel like that would be fun. i still mean to start streaming i just been...so waylaid)#(so much has happened!!!)#(unironically love this boi already tho tbf)#(he does have his freckles.....)#(as much as i love ruza and aloysha and as much love as i put into their profiles omg they are kitted out 2 the max)#(did you see people modding the bloodborne gear into lop tho lmao genius stuff i love mods i wish i had the pc version tbf)#(ANYWAY HI!!! OMG HOW ARE YOU ALL i feel like its been years since i was actually active here sobs)#(adhd is a hell of a curse for my hubris)
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EEEK good afternoon friends and happy sunday !! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ i hope everyones day is full of love and i’m sending all of you SOSO many smoochies !! MWUUUUAH !! 🍓
#ITS DEMON SLAYER DAY !! YIPEEEE !! >//<#im gonna go watch the new epi and giggle when sanemi shows up on screen :3#i know i said yesterday i’d be answering asks but… i fear i didn’t… so today for SURE !! >//<#i dont have work until wednesday so i should be more active !! WOOHOO !! :>#my friend might be coming to town so maybe we’ll end up spending some time together !! <3#lately i’ve been seriously missing kita and tetsu </3 they’re all i read about lately SOB !! T^T#i need to talk much more about tetsu & i’s selfship </3 the lore has not been updated i fear…#and kita !! my handsome perfect husband SNIFF !! hes taken over my whole heart methinks </3#i definitely need to visit some inboxes soon !! :p#WAHHH !! ALSO !!! supa excited for two things :>#one is my suo acrylic stands are coming soon !! i mightve went overboard i fear… i bought 4 </3#and second !! im going to my first concert with my dad teehee !! cage the elephants :0 aka the makers of cigarette daydream YAYAYAYYYY !!!#soso excited for new adventures to come teehee !! but not excited for the heat… its supposed to be around 120° which is… VERY HOT !! </3#anywhosies i’ll wrap this yap up with a big smooch & bear hug to all of you <3 MWUUUUAH !! :3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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I Must finish this comic I am the god of reading comprehension!!! I am the beholder of patterns and my meat is huge!!!!!!!
#not art#only uhhh. twenty two panels to go. haha#Im actually SO smug lmao a lot of this Has been about riz learning to let go of the control he wants to have over his future#and having this one good thing for the first time in Years. and never being able to be sure that he can have it again#if he ever loses it. friends have not happened to him when he actively tried friends were kinda hoisted upon him#my baby boy.... clenches fists I Dialed in Im Hot Shit!! Im The Vision Im Correct#watching funny dnd actual play show is not a pastime its a competition and Im Winning. I got Good Grade in Looking At Screen#fuckign. I will get this comic to 20 panels done Today if it kills me. I want it to happen. I want it to be a thing!!
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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chat what do we think.......................
patch notes + side-by-side with the old version:
fixed proportions to be less fucked up and also give him bigass hands. i honestly didnt even realize the original had fucked up proportions until i put them side by side and had to shrink it or else the head looked Enormous
used a couple values from that one color test i did a bit ago & winged the rest. did all of this with a screen filter on so if it looks like ass it's not my fault
made all of his clothes more obviously baggy, his jacket specifically was inspired by something i saw while looking for more sims mods like a week ago that i guess i imprinted in my brain
made the jeans have a more defined & tapered shape & replaced the rips with patches because that's less stupid
changed the ugly ass boots to doc martins because He Would
untucked his shirt because He Wouldn't (also made the shirt wrinkles look more like it's clinging to his ribs to make him look thinner, no damn clue if it actually worked it is 2am)
fuckin forgot about the spike bracelets which makes sense because they wouldn't work with the baggier jacket at all BUT i am very very sad to see them go to be completely honest
made his gloves lower contrast bc while i love the lil broken heart detail it ain't that important lmao
#art#fluff#dont know where the fuck i got the juice to do 2 colored sketches today but yeah sure i'll run with it#it turns out art block can be overcome when it's not surrounding the thing you've been uselessly stressing over for months. who'da thunk#my brain is telling me i Gotta change that red somehow but no i CANT because i have decided that he Must keep matching edge with that#the purples didn't match perfectly anyway so i'll allow those to diverge but the reds? with the exact same hex codes?? no those stay#also i kiiinda wanna give him a lil necklace or something but i cant decide if that would be good detail for his low-contrast midsection#or if it would put in a lil too much light values on his top half#i DO think somethin shiny on his belt would help but i dont know how to. put that there#blegh. i hate character design actually it sucks its the worst activity ever#ahem. im going to bed now but let me know yall's thoughttss if u have any suggestions n stuff i'd love to hear em / wake up to em lol
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