#if he ever loses it. friends have not happened to him when he actively tried friends were kinda hoisted upon him

[bacchuschucklefuck]

I Must finish this comic I am the god of reading comprehension!!! I am the beholder of patterns and my meat is huge!!!!!!!

[astonmartinii]

i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous

MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others

yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you

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user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought

user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again

user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?

user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that

user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was

maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.

user169: what the fuck

maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)

user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older

maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen

user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything

fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock

user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"

fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both

user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one

user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie

user175: he's in the likes?

user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support

oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock

maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way

olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum

pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say

fernandoalo_oficial: 🫶

sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end

user177: still no charles ???

user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 835,923 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?

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user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals

user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed

yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)

maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics

yourusername: i'm trying 🤞

maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?

yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested

maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong

yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card

charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM

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user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello

user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up

user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him

user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport

oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max

maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well

oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules

maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER

oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME

maxverstappen1: she would NEVER

oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...

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user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC

user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie

user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing

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carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, user190 and 308,994 others

carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.

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user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user192: not the childhood dog too ???

user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating

user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole

maxverstappen1: get fucked

carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it

maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had

carlossainz55: she cost me my dream

maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS

carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood

maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport

user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry

user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two

user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP

charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL

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charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you

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charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are

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user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?

user199: i bet it's ferrari

user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually

user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE

yourusername: old habits die screaming

carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway

yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low

user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre

georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 893,450 others

charles_leclerc: lets go racing.

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user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement

user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post

user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE

user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef

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maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless

oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience

maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters

oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force

olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN

user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?

olliebearman: whoops

user210: ollie coming for kid of the year

olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear

user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?

maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals

user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE

user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n

user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment

carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much

maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad

oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?

maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour

user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^

user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free

user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year

user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD

yourusername

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yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart

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user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?

user224: it's finished?

user225: that's what the spanish media are saying

user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?

maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you

user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?

yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?

yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent

yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(

oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?

oscarpiastri: maybe i did

yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants

olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x

yourusername: i'm glad

olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?

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maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?

user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?

user227: please tell me he's been been in good care

yourusername: he's been my rock 🤞

user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(

user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post

user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up

user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?

user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(

user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference

user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)

user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous

fin.

note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx

extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[fortunemars]

Alright council i have SO MANY THOUGHTS but I started typing them in the tags before I realised how many I had... Good time to learn there's a tag cap... Anyway I'd love to world build on this a lot more bc this is interesting!!! This is so long that I have to page break it 😭😭 why am I like this

Okay tw under the page break: death, grief, a tiny bit of implied gore

So many things to explore with the different SKs and their reactions to discovering it, to the actual event of shad dying, to the aftermath where they'd be forced to give up their power and their immortality to end the pain of basically being suspended in the time between living and dying or deciding to keep the power as it slowly dwindles and destroys their bodies bit by bit. Torn to shreds because they were so full of greed. Living through every ounce of pain that came until it finally ended. A warrior to the end, no?

I'd love to see if I could write smthn with this concept. I'm thinking of all the options I'd have. Like how does laur find out? Through vylad (a comrade), before the fight? Or Gene in the middle of the battle, a shock that gives gene enough time to knock laurance down and remind him of everything he's gone through to get here, how much he's lost and how much hes had to give up for the ones he loves, how much he's been pushed to the side for the village's gain?

Would Laurance reconsider, turn on aph or Garroth? Would be hesitate to kill them, let gene do it instead and tell laurance it was his fault they died so brutally, that laurance could have done it himself if he wasn't so afraid? Or would he double down, get stronger, fight harder, and win? Why, because he thinks he's okay with dying for them? Or does he think it's the only way he can save them from every bad thing that laurance represents? Does he defeat Shad because he thinks it is the only way his soul could be redeemed by Irene, to be the end of her lost lover's reign of terror, to end the existence of these demonic bodies that were corrupted and twisted from their original forms?

Furthermore, how would aphmau and Garroth react? Would they find him before he fully died or would they find him after, slowly decaying with a peaceful smile stuck in his face? How would they tell the others, the village, the alliance? What would they say of him when he was gone, how would they celebrate him, how would they remember him? Would he be forgotten in the history books, another faceless admirer of the new Irene?

Some random other questions: would Laurance meet ungrith in some sort of limbo or would ungrith already be born again? Or would laurance's soul be devoured by the fates as a payment because of how long he kept it after he died? Maybe he becomes a ghost like Malachi, doomed to walk within the borders of Phoenix Drop unseen and unheard for years, decades, forever...

Would aphmau and Garroth grieve together or would they end up blaming each other, or themselves, for laurance's choice and for not knowing until it was too late? Would they ever know if he suffered as he died again? how long he was there dying, if it was cold and quiet in their absence or if the burning of the nether and screaming of the souls be the last thing he heard-- a demented lullaby to sooth his aching soul to rest...

Ahem as you can tell I think a lot about laurance... Please tell me any of this made sense...

Ps I literally can't fandom tag this other than aphmau and aphmau Minecraft diaries bc of HOW MANY THOUGHTS I HAD HELPPPPPP THERES STILL MORE BUT MY PHONE IS LAGGING SO HARD

This post is relating to the thoughts that @laurencezvahlslefteyebrow, @xerith-42 and I have been discussing. Somehow the brain rot has progressed to me completely losing my shit.

okayokayokay

We were talking about what would happen to Shadow Knights if Shad were defeated and he died. And I have sososo many thoughts.

But this ones a bit hard to explain.

Shad's presence is necessary for Shadow Knights to exist. His being is what keeps them in motion, so in turn, you'd think the Shadow Knights would die once Shad does.

I know @xerith-42 was thinking the difference would be between Premature SKs and Full ones. However, I think it's more dependent on how the SK was formed.

I think Shad's control is necessary for undead shadow knights. His spirit has to be around for Undead SKs to be "alive," seeing as he literally has to revive them. If Shad dies; and his spirit is gone, the undead shadow knights finally get to pass on. I think it would be more of a relief, even to those like Gene. Especially to those like Gene. He barely has any autonomy left, so once Shad is gone, he can finally think for himself, even if it's in some world beyond.

This is all different for transformed/living SKs. They are still alive, and still have life energy. Shad is only a part of them, not their entire being. So, once Shad is gone, they aren't shadow knights anymore. However, they aren't human. They are... something else. Something more empty. To be transformed, something is ripped from their soul, and replaced with something from Shad. So, when Shad is gone, that part of them is gone, and it's not replaced with anything.

So, Living SKs survive once Shad is gone, but they almost transform into something else. Something we haven't seen before. I'm not sure what that is yet. I really want opinions on what this would look like, especially in Laurance.

Council, your thoughts?

[papercorgiworld]

It was no mistake

A James Potter smut.

When you tell James last night was a mistake he's determined to prove you wrong.

This is part two of ‘I dare you to steal his clothes - James Potter version’. Read the first part here, not that this is very plot driven but still.

Warning: smut, minimal plot

— The request —

The James fic was so hot wtf 👹👹👹 we need part 2 dear author 😭😭😭

— The writing —

You walked through the hallways of Hogwarts but your mind was still stuck in that bathroom where you had yesterday tried and more or less succeeded in stealing James Potter’s clothes. He had given you a night to remember and as dreamy as you still were about those activities, you were also very much aware that it was James Potter. He was your crush, but to him you were probably nothing more than a fun night. It was not like he was suddenly going to fall in love with you after one night of heavenly sex.

“Moony, you’re not hearing me. She’s the one.” Remus rolled his eyes as James almost jumped up and down next to him, ever since last night’s events James had been going on about you non stop. Sirius and Peter had weaselled their way away from James and had left Remus to listen to James’ rants alone. Remus rearranged some books on the shelves of the library, because nothing’s more annoying than misplaced books. “I need your advice, moony, I’ve been crushing on her since the start of the year and after last night I need to make a move or I might lose her to the next guy she’s being dared to steal clothes from.” Remus turns away from the shelves to face James. “I honestly don’t think that she would repeat last night's events with anyone beside you.” Feeling reassured and a bit more confident, James’ signature smirk returns. “You think so? You think I’m special to her?” Remus sighs and rolls his eyes again. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she likes you. I mean no one sleeps with someone you hate.” James’ eyebrows knit together. “You obviously haven’t had heated hate sex.” Remus shakes his head no. “You?” James also shakes no. “No, I’m just thinking it would be hot… not as hot as last night, I mean, (y/n) and me-” “I don’t want to hear it again, James!” Remus interrupts and quickly continues. “Just go talk to her, use all your charm and you will win her over.” 

You were still deep in thoughts, when James leaves the library and spots you. “Hey, hey, (y/n)! We need to talk.” Your eyes fling up to meet his and James is almost horrified to see how filled with panic your eyes are. You quickly scan the hallways for a way out, but fail to find a good excuse. James quickens his pace to keep up with you. “About last night…” James starts, nervously ruffling his hair, but before he has a chance to continue you speak up. “It was a mistake.” James’ face falls, but you don’t notice and continue. “I get it. I’m cool about it. Last night was just a thing and it won't happen again.” James nods as he listens to you, watching your serious expression and sinking his hands into his pockets. You suddenly stop walking and turn to him. You force a tightlipped smile and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You hold out a hand to James. “Friends?” You ask with a shaky voice and flustered face. For a second James looks utterly confused, but he quickly realises that your flusteredness might have something to do with how you had screamed his name last night. James tilts his head and chews his lip, eyes focussing on yours. “What if I say no?” Your face instantly heats up. Why can’t he just be casual about it. Why does he have to be so James Potter about it!

“I got the sense that you liked what I did last night.” Your face was hitting tomato alert, but he just shamelessly continued. “Honestly, I enjoyed it as well. You felt amazing.” He whispers, while his eyes dart between you and everyone in the hallway to make sure no one overhears. “James-” Your protest comes out as a shaky whisper as your body craves James in an unholy way. “Come on, love one more time and then you can decide whether I’m worth keeping around or if you really just want to be friends.” Your expression goes blank as you process what James had just said. Did the James Potter just suggest that if you wanted he would be yours? Afraid that you weren’t fully convinced, James makes one last move, leaning closer to you with his lips almost brushing your ear. “You can have whatever you want, baby… my dick, fingers, tongue, I’ll give you anything you want.” His voice was husky and dirty, but there was also an almost inaudible nervousness as he worried whether you would accept his offer or just forget about him. 

A silent yes in your eyes had told James that he could guide you to a nearby empty classroom. As soon as he closed the door behind you he wrapped an arm around your figure, pulling you against him. His eyes focus on yours as his free hand cups your cheek. “I know it’s only been a few hours, but fuck I missed you.” You smile and James is wild with excitement that he got you close to him again. Eagerly his lips search yours and you immediately move with his, making the kiss go from passionate to hunger. He picks you up and you can’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. He places you on a nearby desk and he’s quick to take off his own shirt, giving you a worthy view. Your hand wanders over his chest and muscles. There was a reason Gryffindor won almost every game. This boy worked for it. 

As amused and turned on as James was by your staring he really wanted your focus on kissing him. With a gentle finger he pushed your chin up to look at him so he could kiss you tenderly and deeply. It also gave him the opportunity to quickly undo a few buttons so he could pull your shirt over your head. With your hair now slightly messed up you looked even more desirable to him. Eagerly his lips move over yours again while his hands move to gently squeeze your breasts before unclasping your bra in one swift move. James struggles to keep his lips on you as his eyes desperately search for a glimpse of your chest. With a loving touch his hands massage the flesh of your boobs. A slightly suppressed moan reveals James’ excitement together with the growing bulge in his pants pressing against your panties. Pushing you back on the desk James now moves away from your lips to allow himself to play with your nipples, earning soft sounds from you as sensations build up, soaking your panties as he sucks on the sensitive skin. 

Unable to keep himself in check James rocks his hips into yours, searching for fiction. You quickly slip a hand in his pants, making him groan as you tease his member. One hand pumps his dick while your other hand moves through his curls. Under your touch James only manages to leave sloppy kisses as precum stains his pants. He curses himself under his breath. This was not how he planned it on going, he needed to spoil you and not the other way around. So rather abruptly and roughly James grabs your hand and takes a step back so he can take off your skirt and panties. You open your mouth to ask whether you did anything wrong, but James doesn’t let you and kisses you roughly while moving a finger through your folds, making you squirm against him at the sudden touch. “Last night was not a mistake.” James breathes with a rough undertone as he watches your eyes fill with pleasure at his touch. Your slightly parted lips looked so delicious to you, but he wanted to hear you so instead he peppers kisses down your neck, while his fingers fuck you.

Your fingers entangle with his hair as pleasure rushes through you. You whimper his name as he pushes you closer to your high, making him work harder to get you there. He watches you with focus to pinpoint the exact second before you’ll cum so he can pull his fingers away from you, making you whine in need of him and a climax. Your needy eyes turn him on so much he has to grab his crotch for a second. “Trust me, love.” James whispers and pushes your legs wider with one move, making you yelp at the exposure and heave your chest. The view you were giving him, exposed and flustered had him struggling to not just fuck you right then and there but he was committed to make you his and have you every night from now on. With his eyes glued to yours he slowly kisses down from your lips to your pussy to finish the building orgasm he had kept from you only seconds earlier.

Your body tenses and your fingers cling to James’ curls as your wall clench. James can’t resist jerking himself as you gently and unknowingly push his face against your pussy, reaching your high. It takes a second before you have the strength to push the strong man between your legs away from your overstimulated cunt. As soon as you see his pleased smirk you know he isn’t done with you. You raise your hand to protest, but he just grabs your wrist, pulling you off the desk to turn you around. He presses you against him, your naked body against his bare chest. He still holds on to your wrist as his other hand slips between your legs again. “James.” You whine and he shushes you. “You still think last night was a mistake?” He teases you, placing kisses under your ear. He rubs his hard bulge against your bare ass and your sensitive pussy starts throbbing at just the thought of his thick member filling you like last night. “No, it wasn’t a mistake.” You breathe and James kisses your neck tenderly, before bending you over the desk and freeing his member from his pants. 

Gently he slips inside you, holding you close as he fucks you passionately, like you were the only woman that mattered, a goddess to him, and only him for the rest of his life from now on.

Word count: 1720

[coolsketchablestuff]

Welcome to my atrocious shipping chart, I apologize in advance

Their opinions on eachother:

Headcanons below:

I've been having a story going on in my mind and it's just progressively evolved over time and this is the culmination of that specifically, so I'll try to explain the context of it here:

MAIN THING HERE IS THAT THE BEASTS (for the most part) "GET ALONG" WITH THEIR OTHER HALF

In my au thingy once they get along both half's get stronger, as if the soul jam becomes more whole (yes the ancients still ascended and reclaimed their soul jams as the rightful owners)

Burning Spice:

Got defeated by golden Cheese Cookie, after she left and he awoke from under the rubble of his castle he went to seek her out, to continue the battle, he wanted to be defeated, to be bested by the only worthy opponent, it was his DESTINY to crumble to her hands, he desired it so much. When he found and re-challenged her, she originally did fight him, but upon seeing how badly he wanted to be destroyed she decided to make him one of her treasures. At first he HATED it and would remind her how he could destroy all of it if he wanted to, but after months of slowly wearing him down he's now her right hand cookie and personal guard, very quick to fight anyone who gets to close to her radiance, he is referred to by the kingdom as "his anarchist".

Shadow milk cookie:

(because his actual story will be coming out soon I'm so paranoid about having to retcon this in the future) he has defeated pure vanilla cookie, finally! After so long!!! But wait, why didn't this victory feel right..? Why was the soul jam not reacting properly? Upon vanilla cookie crumbling should it not go back to him? Spoiler alert, no, no it did not as he was not worthy of it and the light was actively fading, as he began to slowly feel weaker with the progressive fading, having to think fast and make a decision he was not sure if he'd regret, he put all of knowledge to use and revive pure vanilla, centuries of being the representative of knowledge sure does come in handy! Ever since that day and discovering if the light fades so would he, he's tried to stay close to pure vanilla out of convenience, over time it becoming an actual friendship, though he is still overly protective/possessive of him to make sure no one hurts him.

Explanation of the relationships:

Golden cheese

- appreciates how Pure Vanilla's kindness is not conditional and relishes in the praise, though she's worried over him slowly spending less time with White Lily

- loves how loyal Burning Spice is, she is aware he's obsessed with her but she interprets it as him being greedy for her attention (it kinda is ngl)

- has fun doing stuff with shadow milk cookie, they like going to events together like parties and just messing around, they can joke with each other comfortably

Burning Spice

- kinda obsessed with Golden Cheese, seeing her as the only cookie allowed to be stronger than him, he doesn't let other cookies fight her as they're "not worthy"

- mostly sees pure vanilla as one of Golden Cheese's treasures and feels an obligation to her radiance to protect him. Is too uncomfortable to get closer to PV because he reminds him so much of pre-corruption Shadow Milk

- the new shadow milk cookie is definitely more lively, and ever since SM got along with PV his pranks have become more harmless which is enjoyable, one of his oldest buddies

Pure Vanilla

- Golden Cheese is one of his oldest friends, after everything that has happened he doesn't want to lose his friends again, he's slowly spending more time with her as White Lily is busy with other stuff and after everything he just wants to spend time with his friends

- after learning to get along with eachother, shadow milk is actually enjoyable to be around! They can talk about intellectual magic stuff, enjoy food and drinks, play games like chess, or just spend time together in comfortable silence

- does not have any strong opinions on burning spice as they do not talk much, though he isn't sure why considering how often they hang out, PV is confident he's seen BS looking at him sometimes when he thinks he isn't looking

Shadow milk

- pure vanilla is calming, when they feel worked up over something he's always there, PV is helping him get along better with cookies

- Golden Cheese Cookie is (currently) his best friend, they jokingly got along under the pretense on not being huge on WL but their friendship kept improving

- it's too much fun to prank burning spice, like SURE he could just find something they both find fun but as long as BS doesn't how actual disdain towards them he's not gonna stop! He loves to tease him too :)c

If I think of anything else I might add It? Idk, genuinely I just like having good guys in media make the bad guys nice, I enjoy "I can fix him" so much, THE ANCIENTS FIX THE BEASTS I SWEAR

[kissoulie]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒

𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧

— NSFW, MDNI. being in love with soul ♡

warnings: not proofread, odd amount of minecraft references, implied that they met underage but all physical activity happens when both are adults, idol!soul, gender neutral for the most part

nsfw: fem-body in mind but can be read as gn (imo) mild voyeurism, some roughness, overall pretty tame

a/n: i wrote this while doing a harry potter marathon so it's not the best 😭 might make it a series tbh, one movie = one being in love with [piwon]. joking, mostly. work has been ass this week ngl and i work again tmrw buttttttt i will be able to dedicate at least 5hrs to delusion after i pick up some conditioner 🫶 who knows maybe i'll lock in and get it done by the 1st (i probably won't)

1. first meetings

soul is the type of person who would be your friend first. one of your very best friends, actually. if you aren't childhood friends, you would be someone he met by chance. at a store, cafe, a park. no matter what, you would be the one to approach him. striking up a conversation about an interest you both share. soul would take a liking to you immediately, opening up gradually, meeting you as often as his schedule allows. he would eventually have to introduce you to the members, and start bringing you over to the dorm. he's getting recognized. going out was becoming a chore for both of you. besides, you've been friends for a while, it's only natural the next step is hanging out in each other's personal space.

after years of your bond, soul finds both of you in his bed after a long day of practice. he wasn't sure what was up wirh you. normally, you wouldn't insist on seeing him after practice. you knew he was tired. for an hour, you'd been clinging to him, head tucked into the crook of his neck. he didn't need words from you. yet, anyways. he just needed to know you're okay. "my treasure," he whispers, "what's wrong?"

your fingers tighten their hold on his shirt. those soft eyes of his, they melt you. "i just had a bad day."

mhmmmm. soul's hand finds itself pressed against your lower back, pulling you onto his lap with ease. "what else?"

"i love you, that's what else." you see soul's expression twitch ever so slightly, brows furrowing before he evens his gaze with your teary one, "i love you too."

2. commitment

life with soul is bliss. he's an extremely attentive lover. he already knows you inside out, and like everyone you change; he changes with you. he blossoms with you. soul loves you so much, he becomes the best version of himself. he doesn't even mean to. all he knows is that you know perfectly how to soothe his fears, how to celebrate with him, how to make him feel loved. he will never ask for more. he's the kind of boyfriend who brings you things that remind him of you. he makes a minecraft realm just for the two of you, where he fills up a whole book telling you how he loves you more than he's afraid of losing you.

soul has a possessive side to him. he rarely shows it around you, but sometimes you notice. when jongseob is making you laugh just a little too hard. or when you're alone with him in their shared room. if he could, sometimes soul thinks he would bite down on you and claim you forever. but then your eyes light up when you see him. you're encasing him in a hug so tight, so intimate, he forgets all about the possessiveness he felt.

date ideas are split evenly between the two of you. whether it's a movie marathon, a quick little errand turned exploring all the shops, a nice dinner date, playing video games for hours on end... you two come up with your own ideas of fun, and share them. but he never ever lets you pay. he will hold your hand so you can't get your card. trying to pay with cash? he's already tapped his card. oh you tried to be sneaky and pay for dinner by giving the server your card? he gave the hostess his the second you walked in. seriously. he's not huge on princess treatment, or gender roles, but he firmly believes you shouldn't have to pay for anything. except in minecraft. he will go halfsies with you when trading with villagers.

2. intimacy

always, always, always is touching you in some way. holding hands, arms wrapped around you, hand on your side. he is casually touching you no matter where you are. while he used to be shy about kissing you around the members, he'll kiss your forehead, cheek, and nose around them. kissing your lips is saved for when you two are alone because...

every kiss turns into a makeout session. no matter how innocent. you'll give him a soft peck, and before you know it his tongue is slipping past your lips, licking against your own. honestly, he doesn't even always wait until you're completely alone. jongseob does have noise cancelling headphones on, at least.

speaking of jongseob: your lovely boyfriend always seems to be more passionate with you when he's in the bed just across from you two. it's that possessiveness he hides from you. he wants to bite you so hard you bleed, so no one will ever look at you again. but he doesn't want to hurt you. so instead he settles for stretching you open with his fingers while his best friend is in the room. you would think he'd be quiet and leave him out of it, but his dirty talk makes it seem like he wants you to moan a little too loud. "quiet, baby. unless you want him to hear? want him to see how good i ruin you? how i pleasure you? you know he can't see you cum, baby, that's only for me to see."

but aside from that little fantasy of his. no matter how rough soul is with you, he's always making love to you. even when he's thrusting into you so hard the bed is shaking and your knees are pressed up next to your chest, he's still looking at you with his puppy eyes, making you feel so good. and if he finishes too early, you bet he's using his mouth to finish you off, even if it means eating some of his own cum. usually he's ready to go again by the time you cum anyways. he has endless stamina.

taglist: @tkooooop, @haolovre ♡

[mvltisstuff]

mirrorball - c.f

summary: you’ve tried anything and everything to get conrad to notice you. it’s until you start losing yourself that you finally speak up.

conrad fisher x reader

a/n: y/n is lowkey giving me in this, leave some conrad requests ;)

it started off with the way she wore her hair. it was naturally down, cascading down her head with nothing new to it. she always noticed how conrad would eye girls with luxurious hair, always looking perfect even when it looked normal.

it progressed to daily trips to the gym. she bought a membership and began going every day. she saw all the other girls in the gym with their friends, boyfriends. they looked amazing, having the ideal body for a girl and the ideal bodies that conrad and his friends look at. conrad goes to the gym, too. maybe he’d notice a theme with her.

then it was the clothes. she’d change into tighter clothes. crop tops, shorts, jewelry, anything uncomfortable for one glance from conrad.

she’d loved him for years. ever since her first summer at cousins and staying next door to the fishers and conklins. conrad had been so nice all the time. he was strikingly handsome, and she just wanted him to look at her. she hated to say she was desperate, but she was. she was changing herself to be more like conrad, and less and less like herself. anything that happened to her, she pushed away because conrad was on her mind. she put herself on a pedestal for him. she observed his every move, and every person he darted his eyes at.

her makeup, her interests, her personality had become a whole new person that she couldn’t even recognize. somehow, she was still proud of herself. everyone knew something was off. belly tried to talk to her and see if something was going on. however, it was partially her.

she saw the way conrad glanced at her with affection. she saw the way he saw nicole. she saw the way he noticed girls at the bonfires. she wanted it to be her turn, but every time was shut down by someone better and new.

she ‘fixed’ herself until there was literally nothing left to fix. her entire closet had been changed along with the makeup in her bag. her daily activities had changed and she watched herself to make sure anything she was doing wasn’t contradicting conrad. the only place she was herself, was her room. and she couldn’t even accept herself anymore.

when she looked in the mirror, she picked at things on herself that she never used to. every part of her face and every part of her body had become an inconvenience. things other girls might not have. she wanted to recognize herself but the old, happy version was just a ghost at this point. as much as she wanted the old y/n, she couldn’t stop herself from preventing her from coming back.

she watched her mood deteriorate every day. it wasn’t just conrad, it had grown into something bigger. hating her reflection and just wishing she was someone else. someone he looked at, someone that everyone wanted. she tries to show off a confident front, but it all disintegrates when she disappears in front of a bathroom mirror. it’s not even alarming at this point that she doesn’t know who she is or what she wants.

her bank account had been drained of money from products and clothes that would make her more like someone else. things that were never her.

it started out as a slight obsession with a boy, and it progressed into self hatred. she wanted so badly to be enough for conrad, but she wanted to be enough for herself. she felt like that would never come. she can’t win this battle with herself.

she resorted to drinks with her friends all the time to try and forget some of the pity she had for herself. smoking pot and doing anything that takes her mind off of herself and conrad. every time she came over, she thought maybe this is it. maybe he’ll look at me and realize that i’m great. maybe he can find the old self in me.

the debutante ball was coming up shortly. she had been practicing her dances with a boy she barely knew, one her mother set her up with. this boy had nothing for her, but she had nothing for him. she still wanted him to want her because it was just more approval that came her way. she’d picked out an bewitching dress, one that transformed her into a queen. she picked one out in hopes that conrad would like it, but also so it covered all the things she can’t fix. it snatched her waist, it brought in her ribs, it made her boobs look good, it made everything better than natural. that’s exactly what y/n wanted.

even watching y/n pick out the dresses, suzannah and laurel noticed the switch in her behavior. she dodged every single dress that fit her perfectly, and ran toward every one that sucked her in perfectly. y/n would usually go for the simple, casually-fitting dresses, but now she wanted ones that turned her into a barbie doll.

she was thrilled with her choice, getting it fitted and getting her makeup done exactly how everyone else would like it. her body looked exactly how everyone else would like it. her hair looked exactly how everyone else would like it.

she looked pleased with herself, but she still saw someone else in the mirror. nonetheless, she walked out on the stage, linking arms with the boy at her side. she put on a fake smile, one that people would find enchanting to see. she tried not to look at conrad, but failed in the end.

on the other hand, conrad had to pretend that he wasn’t completely staring at her. her beauty was poisoning the whole room. he had to pretend like everything was fine when he didn’t have her. she was the only one who truly had his eye for the longest time. even conrad was slightly disappointed in seeing the change, oblivious to the fact that it all started for him. however, he wasn’t able to peel his eyes off of her with a small grin.

y/n’s heart raced in ecstasy when she saw his eyes on her. his smile was for her. she swore she could run off the floor and into his arms, but she tried to keep her cool as she was in front of almost the entire town. she pranced around in her white dress, looking happier than ever because conrad finally noticed her. all the changing must have paid off, or at least she thought so. it wasn’t until she saw him dancing with belly in the corner of her eye.

all of her positive thoughts about herself quickly vanished. she thought she finally had him, but she was so clearly wrong. all of her optimism from earlier had left her with watery eyes. she could not cry here, her makeup would be ruined in front of everyone and she couldn’t look bad in front of anyone, not even herself. again, she forced another fake smile on her face until the dance was over, and she scurried out of the room.

she stood outside, right by the entrance with a small bottle of alcohol in her hand. she’d snuck it in her purse, being able to bring it outside. she took a massive gulp of it, not being able to face her own thoughts. she wanted to give up, but it was too late. the damage to herself was already done and it would be a burnout to have to reverse it. she was a failure. she failed conrad, her family, and herself. even in the reflection of the stupid fucking glass bottle she saw a complete disaster of a girl.

she was picking at her freshly done nails when the footsteps came echoing behind her. she didn’t give a shit about who it was. no one could change her mind about anything, and there was no comforting to do. she swipes the tears off her cheeks before conrad steps into her peripherals vision.

“i thought i’d find you here,” he says.

“i just needed some air, conrad. go back inside.”

“i’d believe you if you didn’t have that bottle in your hand,” she looks down at the liquid in her hands, tempted to take another gulp of it. “what is going on with you? i’ve known you for so long and i just don’t remember this side of you, so who is she?”

“conrad, don’t start.”

“no, y/n,” he argues. “i have to know you’re ok, i barely know the y/n i love anymore.”

“well, i wish i could answer that for you, but i don’t know who she is!”

“what?” he asks sadly. she begins to laugh, almost bending over in hysterics.

“i literally changed myself so much for you,” she replies. “and you just proved that i made it even worse. i don’t recognize myself anymore, got it? i flipped myself inside out for you to just look at me.”

her words are slurred together and she’s speaking with her hands, which worried conrad even more.

“i’ve had my eye on you for years, y/n. why would you do that to yourself?”

“i ask myself that question in the mirror every. fucking. day. i just want my old self back and i barely remember who she is!”

conrad realizes the severity of her emotions. he debated whether to step closer, and he acts on it when he sees even more violent tears running down her face. “i’m not even myself anymore, i’m everyone else.”

“shh, it’s ok,” he says, pulling her into an embrace and running a hand across her back. “it’s gonna be ok. i remember you every single day. i could never forget.”

“you don’t have to-“

“no, listen to me. you were the sweetest person ever, and i was ashamed of my excitement whenever you walked into a room. i didn’t wanna freak you out or anything. you were brave, you never once gave into other peoples shit. and you still are all these things. and i’ll spend every day proving it to you.”

she cries harder into his shoulder. the last thing she expected was the boy she loved comforting her outside of the building.

“i miss not giving a shit,” she peeps out, making conrad’s heart shred a bit.

“let’s stop giving one,” he looks her, cupping her face in his hands. “you and me, we’ll do it together, yeah?”

y/n creeps out a small smile at him, a genuine one for the first time in months. “you and i.”

[lorisidirgiichi2002]

TADC - Anxiety/Autistic Reader Headcanons.

Gender-Neutral Pronouns Friendship levelled relationships.

--------------------------------------------

For Pomni, she is just as anxious as you, though while she has started to cope with it a lot better for a few months, she can relate to wanting to escape and get out of the circus just as much. The first few interactions are awkward, but after hanging out with them, and you understand her scenario, you both grow to relatable friends and might look for the exit together while trying to go with the flow of the adventures and curious to hear about her adventures, though won't reveal some Out of Bounds secrets early on so you don't recklessly go looking for it fearing of being Abstracted.

Since Ragatha offered a hand to you, you saw Ragatha as a sort of mother figure, if not that, a really good person to go towards for advice or comfort away from the chaotic scenarios that happen in the Circus. While you have confirmed that you mostly rather be left alone to do your favourite activities, you'd start to panic if anything happens to your close friends, especially to Ragatha and she'd respect your space and boundaries the most, even in a bad mood. If there's something the others don't understand about you, you tell them to Ragatha and passes it on towards others, though might raise a eyebrow on Jax knowing him.

Depending on the type of person you are, you either going to relate to Jax or you're going to hate him. Jax is a snarky jackass that would purposely lead you into danger or screw you over or pull pranks. You'd rightfully call him out and would lose your cool towards him, though if you manage to catch some rare instances that he's depressed or in a low mood, you might be able to strike a conversation with him when the mood is calmer, though he tries to hide it. Jax when the façade breaks would probably speak his frustrations about this place and you'd understand his feelings and probably wanted to hang out with him if the adventures started to get boring and stale and cause a tiny bit of trouble. (Not too much to his extent.) Though you know it doesn't excuse the few times he pranked you and left you panicking and overwhelmed and messing with your pattern and routine with dealing with the Digital Circus.

Gangle is probably a member of the Digital Circus that you'd would probably feel the most empathy for and relates to being the joke of the group. Gangle is the most fragile and emotional of the group and to see someone step up and be there for them would be a mood bringer. You'd would be the most apologetic if you ever broke their comedy mask and would help out in repairing it and probably talk about your hyperfixations and some funny stories to try and cheer Gangle up. Though depending with your relationship with Jax, you'd 100% protect Gangle like their life depends on it, because that's not what friends are for being bullies to each other or respectfully tell him to stop.

Kinger is something that is absolutely hard to crack and understand personality wise and difficult. Being the most paranoid and unpredictable member of the group, you could see themselves as Kinger if Ragatha didn't come to your aid and had to adapt without help. You'd probably be scared about Kinger's absent minded and slow reactions to your presence and be scared of them screaming or wielding a shotgun, though tried to calm him down and be there for them regardless of how you feel about him. Depending on the episode canon by the time of writing this (30th September 2024), it is unknown if Kinger would ever talk about Queenie or even mention about her towards you.

Zooble is the most rude and irritable member of the group, while she might be off to do her own thing and not partake in adventures with a soft side to newcomers, I believe that Zooble might be a member that might take a long time to bond with, but maybe an alternative to Jax and wants to let off some steam if Ragatha isn't available and just say a bunch of censored swears. Though you might feel a bit sad if Zooble told you to !#@? off or insulting you and gives them space. Zooble might believe that next to Kinger, you might be the next member to be abstracted knowing how you're coping with living here, just to break out their persona would try to understand and help you.

Caine is definitely the most uneasy member to hang out with, being the know it all and so forth running the circus. You might call to him to ask any questions or any rules and logic you need to understand living in the digital circus and write it down in notes, though might use that information to Pomni for understanding and finding a way out. While Caine is generally cheerful and willing to help you, you can't help but sense there's something uncanny about him outside of his strange appearance. Just the understanding of the concept of Abstraction sends shivers down your spine despite him telling you not to worry about it too much and motivates you to leave even more. Bubble appearing out of nowhere would startle you and probably pop them without Caine's permission via instinct and habit if they kept interrupting you.

What do you guys think? Was there some things you'd change? Do you want to see a S/O sequel to this? Let me know in the comments below.

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Twisted Wonderland First Kiss Headcanons:

Diasomnia, Savannah Claw, and Heartslabyul

Diasomnia:

Malleus:

Your first kiss with him was absolutely awful

First off, he started with the French kissing

When I tell you, his tongue is like the facehugger from the alien series

His split tongue is going to the back of your throat.

Gag reflex is trying to work but he’s not stopping

Literally won’t stop kissing you either until you run out of air or

When he accidentally burns your tongue because his fire breath was activated.

He’s just a very awkward kisser. It’s not his fault though

He’s trying.

You make him watch a how to kiss YouTube video afterwards.

Silver:

Shoujo Prince#1

When he kisses you, it feels like roses are in the air.

The perfect kiss

It’s like being kissed by a Disney prince.

Says the most romantic or cute afterwards

“That didn’t feel weird, did it?”

“No, not at all 😍”

It’s just too much for one person

He’s too perfect.

Sebek:

Awkward but not awful

It’s the perfect representation of a teen’s first kiss.

It’s not perfect, but not horrible either

He did accidentally bite your bottom lip though

One he realized your lip was drawing blood, he stopped kissing you and started his shouting antics.

“Somebody help! My lover is bleeding!”

“I’m fine-“

“We have to disinfect the wounds so my superior fae bacteria doesn’t cause an infection!”

“What? What kind of logic is that?!”

“The right logic!”

In the end, you end up with a a cute little band aid on your lip.

Lilia:

He’s a good kisser.

When he kisses you, it’s the type of kiss that has enough passion that could lead to sex.

That’s how good he is.

Doesn’t use too much tongue

Not too forceful

Not eating your face or lips.

Leaves a hickey on your neck afterwards

He’s the one using his tippy toes to kiss you in the relationship.

Savanaclaw:

Leona:

Shoujo Prince#2

Kisses like a broody anime prince

Tilts your chin beforehand then kisses you

Has his tail wrapped around you

His tail brushes your cheeks

Says the most romantic thing ever

“Don’t go around getting into trouble without me beside you, ok?”

Didn’t expect Leona to be so romantic but it’s accepted.

Jack

His kiss is adorable

His tail is wagging the whole time

The whole experience is so cute

He starts off on the lips, stops, blushes, sees you smiling, then makes his next move.

Jack begins to pepper your cheeks with kisses and you go to the ground

Basically like having a dog lick you but instead it’s kisses.

“Aww, Jack I love you too!”

His ears are perky the entire time.

It’s adorable.

Ruggie:

He’s a sneak kisser.

He kisses you after a snack steal gone right.

“Thanks for helping me steal all these snacks!”

“No problem-mmph!”

He gives you a quick smooch, then runs off.

“See you later!”

“Ok! What just happened?”

You just accept the new title as his lover/partner in crime.

Heartslabyul:

Ace:

A mix of Sebek and Malleus

The kiss is too long so it becomes awkward

But he doesn’t use tongue

Afterwards, he’s a blushing mess

“So are we like dating now? Because if we’re not that’s totally cool! I can be friends with you after this-“

“Just shut up and kiss me, Ace.”

He does as you say and it’s happily ever after after that.

Deuce:

He’s a surprisingly good kisser.

In his delinquent past, he had a couple of girlfriends.

He learned what worked after a while(couldn’t lose his street cred because of his inability to kiss well)

His lips are soft.

And they taste like cherries.

“Is that cherry flavored lip balm?”

“Oh yeah! I bought some chapstick to repair the damage from my lips from all the fights I used to get into!”

“Wow. Good for you.”

Continues kissing you and it lasts for seven minutes.

Riddle:

This boy watched several how to kiss videos

But despite that, the whole experience is awkward.

“Do you want me to squat down?”

“Just stay still, I can reach you without you having to squat down.”

Riddle tries to jump to your lips several times.

Finally he jumps on you and wraps his legs around your waist.

When he kisses you it feels ok but in an unnatural way.

In theory he knows how to kiss, but because he’s never done it before, it doesn’t play out the same way as when he kisses his fruit.

“So, how was it?”

“Umm..it was ok..”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY OK?!”

“Riddle, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Yes, it is! I’m supposed to be a good kisser to impress you!”

“Riddle, really it’s fine.”

“In that case, I’ll have to kiss you more so I know what to do.”

Trey:

This man is a freak.

Straight up had you banging on his door for help.

When he kisses you, it starts out normal.

Then he starts using his tongue.

It moves around in your mouth inspecting your teeth and gums.

When his tongue runs over your teeth you scream.

“Trey! What are you doing?!”

“You’re neglecting to properly brush your front teeth. There’s a bit of plaque on them. Don’t worry, I can’t get rid of it with my guest dental kit.”

“Help! Someone help!”

“Now say ah…”

“Help, he’s going to brush my teeth!”

Trey brushes your teeth but everyone else it sounded like sex.

Especially because all they heard was your screams, something vibrating, and Trey saying things like “It won’t hurt” and “Be still for a minute.”

You ended up with clean teeth, but that’s where it got weirder.

Trey got amped up and continued where he left off.

At that point you just accept your weird boyfriend.

Cater:

He’s a good kisser.

He’s had many short term girlfriends over the years from moving around so much.

“Don’t be nervous, Cay Cay knows just how to make it your best kiss ever!”

When he kisses you, he doesn’t use tongue at first.

When you’re comfortable enough, that’s when he asks.

“Do you mind if we take it up a notch?”

“Oh, sure. I don’t really know how to do stuff like that…”

“I’ll teach you. Just follow my lead.”

He led you through the whole experience of kissing while using your tongue.

By the end you’ve learned things and are going to keep learning things with Cater.

“See, I told ya Cay Cay would help you!”

He kisses your cheek and wraps an arm around you.

You both smile and giggle.

[ronearoundblindly]

ok im feeling the kiss list sm!! im feeling angsty... so steve x reader with #4 or #26?? love u <3333

#4 (a kiss where it hurts) was double requested, so this is #26-- *this* one isn't angsty although technically could be considered a wee tinybit smidgenly dark if you squint real hard. Sorry this is not even remotely edited and all over the place and just *sighs* yeah okay enjoy!

Steve Rogers x reader: a kiss as an apology

I'm So, So...Sorry, a tale for Valentine's 2024

Summary: Grant, a guest at your middle-of-nowhere motel, has needs not covered by the usual turn-down service.

Warnings: *screams and bites pillow* WHY. WHY???? omg, this just...ack...smut. Nomad Steve being needy and touch-starved just ruined my life. 😭😭😭 DUB-CON adjacent b/c Steve loses control. Please send him help. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY. There's plenty else to read on my Light Masterlist, but this ficlet is for adults! WC 2022

To look at him, you’d think this dude can fuck, but it turns out that the absolutely huge man checking into your family’s small rural motel doesn’t know the first thing about flirting, much less sex.

You have no idea what ‘Grant’ and his friend ‘Tom’ were really whispering about over the breakfast table that one morning weeks ago, but later that night Grant came by the office, restless and unable to sleep.

He just talked to you. It was all superficial conversation about the area, the weather, what activities you liked on your days off. Even that seemed a struggle for him—thinking up casual questions. He could look you in the eye up until he had to respond, and he didn’t give many answers in return.

You laughed--you had to—when Grant asked if he could walk you to your door, which…is ludicrous because it’s a house a whopping fifty meters down the way from strip of rooms.

“I could walk,” he shrugs. “I’ll probably do a lap or two anyway.”

“Well, I have to wait for Clark to show up, but—“ you look him up and down “—okay.”

Twenty minutes later, the craziest thing happened.

An elk walked right in front of you on the path, and you jumped back, slamming into the wall of muscle the was your escort. You were both perfectly still as it moved.

Then that thing squawked and stamped huge hoofs. You threw your weight backward and spun to flee, clambering over Grant’s body.

Why you were so scared, who knows; you should be used to the wildlife.

The most shocking thing, however, is how strongly he tried to hold you still.

The harsh grip on your waist and the way he hissed through his teeth for you to stop should have been your hint, but instead you clung to him harder, asking if the animal was gone.

“Uh…” Grant tenses against you. “It’s…it’s just—“ he shudders when you wriggle closer “—yes, gone,” he bites out, pushing you away by the hips.

He takes a second to breathe, then, “let’s get you home.”

‘Grant’ is now properly called ‘Steve’ in private.

It took a while for him to trust you. He and ‘Tom’—whose real name you still don’t know—have been back and forth to the motel several times. You don’t talk about other guests. You don’t gossip. You don’t pry because that is just the nature of your business.

Steve’s initial five o’clock shadow has come in nicely. The first time he returned with the full beard, you couldn’t help yourself and brushed your fingers through it on your way back from handing him his key over the counter. The way he looked at you…devastating.

Tom made his own, very knowing face, and winked.

“You should do that more. Touch him. He could use it.”

Steve cleared his throat harshly and blushed, accidentally leaving a small bag on the ground when he rushed to the door.

“He was joking. It was a joke,” Steve blurted when he found you standing there to give it back.

You just smiled and said Tom wasn’t wrong.

“So, if you ever just want a hug…” you muttered.

That’s how this started.

A tentative embrace where only the top of his chest touched you led to a lovely full-body hug, and then he held you a touch longer, so your hand went to his hair and…

Steve whined and crashed you two against the wall outside his room, righting himself almost immediately, excusing the behavior, and rushing back inside. You couldn’t let that stand though. You stopped the door before it closed.

“Hey, it’s okay. I can be here, if you want, to hold.”

Steve’s eyes were one of the only things you could see in the dark room.

You took a chance and reached out to scratch at his bearded cheek again. “Not like you’re gonna hurt me, Stevie.”

So he melted into your hand, eye’s rolling as if drunk on the feeling, and you stepped in to hug him.

You can’t count the number of times you’ve had to tell him ‘it’s okay,’ but at least Steve doesn’t stop everything to apologize each time. Convincing him not to be self-conscious of how his body reacts to touch took a while.

He humped your leg like a puppy while you played with his hair. He came in his pants while you gave him a back rub. He cried when you kissed over his arms and chest.

You’ve told him it’s all okay.

He tries so hard not to smile when he checks back in, but he waits until your shift ends to have you fall asleep in his arms.

You’ve told him it’s okay to fall asleep in your arms, too.

Genuinely, the best part of the whole arrangement is that he will let you do anything to him. He’s fine being petted and fawned over, teased for being more ripped than jeans in the ‘90s—except for he didn’t understand that joke, sadly,—and it’s okay because you get it. He doesn’t tell you any personal information. He barely told you his name. He’s probably figured out that you aren’t an idiot and have put two-and-two together, but he keeps quiet, too.

He lets you keep touching him because he enjoys it.

Aside from the average hug and a simple spooning hold, Steve only ever touches you when you put his hand somewhere. (Right, except for the leg humping, but that was adorable so who cares! He wasn’t even doing that to touch you; poor thing needed friction, is all.) Anyway, since he’s been so excited about everything you’ve wanted to do to him, you push your luck.

The recent days have been all about Steve completely naked and at your mercy, which is, of course, still focused on making him feel good, but tonight is the very first night you are also naked. It’s meant to be a profound comfort—your weight atop him, maximum skin-to-skin contact—and it is.

He’s warm and stretched out like a cat in the sun beneath you, smiling, resting his eyes as dusk takes over the sky. You fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat but don’t notice until he’s gently shaking you awake.

“You’re…you were squirming a lot. Thought you might be having a nightmare.”

Steve’s voice is husky. His grip on your arm is deliberately stationary until you shift to slide off of him.

His hand flies down to the back of your knee but not before you feel the hard length of his erection move from its perch at your ass to press flush on the back of your thigh.

“Don’t,” he whispers. “Just ignore it.”

You’re surprised he’s so shy after all you’ve been through for this. How can he doubt?

You stretch up to his face, straddling his abs for stability. “Stevie,” you say with soft fingers carding through his long hair, “you know it really is okay. You know that.”

He hums, his cock jumping against your ass while he squeezes your knee. He exhales shakily when you drag the back of your nails down his arms and sit up. Too dark to see, all you can go by is what you hear and feel.

“As long as you’re okay—“ you press into his pecs to lift yourself over his hips “and this is okay for you, right?”

It’s hard to hide how desperate he’s made you, but the issue is mutual based on how Steve groans when you settle your folds along the length of him. He clenches his ass so hard, it lifts you and sends a surge of heat to your core.

There’s a shuffling noise by his head.

“Is that a ‘yes?’ Are you alright?”

The shuffling repeats, accompanied by a strangled “yes.” He clenches again, and your arousal finally slicks his hot skin beneath you.

You keep your hands braced on his chest as you start to move, tiny pulses at first, and the poor thing is too sensitive.

He’s a panting mess by the time your slick is spread over him.

“No,” he whines, and you stop, thinking it’s too far to push him. “Too soon.”

“Shh, it’s okay to come. Remember, Stevie? That’s good. We can stop but—“

His other hand clamps onto the meat of your thigh. “Don’t. Don’t stop. I just…”

“Then we’ll do this again. Don’t worry,” you coo, rolling your hips from his root to tip.

He sounds tortured with little pleas and whimpers escaping before each guttural moan. He only lasts a few more thorough pumps. The spurts of cum graze your clit as he finishes on his stomach, shot as far as your wrists still above his chest, and for the first time with Steve you’re disappointed you can’t immediately keep going. You were getting very close, too, very fast.

It pains you to peel your sticky pussy off of him to get tissues, but you praise him the whole way.

“Please,” he rasps, taking hold of your arm as the last is wiped up, “more?” He’s breathless. “I can do better.”

You smile in the dark, excited for the possibility but afraid to push him. “Stevie, you did great. Rest for—“

“No, I—I want…I mean, can I touch you this time?”

Oh.

Oh.

“Sure,” you gulp, “that’d be nice.” If by ‘nice’ you mean ‘I’ve just creamed myself at a single question’ then yes, very nice.

He wants you in the same position straddling him, but that’s so he can spread his hands and run his fingertips over the most of you. He’s softened as he starts exploring you, but his lingering fascination with your breasts makes you wetter and wetter. He likes how you purr and gasp as he pinches and kneads. He likes to pull at your thighs until he gets handfuls of your ass.

He gets hard again off of your moans and tucks his cock between you while you instinctively ride him. It’s still only him deliciously fucking your folds until the repeated swipe of his head over your clit tips you to the edge, and your nails dig into his skin to draw down with the coil in your belly.

The angle catches him at your entrance, a shallow thrust that has you crying out lewdly, and suddenly, you’re on your back, Steve’s huge body pinning you to the mattress, one elbow propping himself by your chest, his other hand brutally spreading your ass to accommodate him.

You’re overwhelmed by the power he exerts over you. He suckles and nips at your breasts, cock so deep it pushes your insides to make way, and what starts as an average orgasm just wipes you out in a cascade of sharp pleasure.

Your hand grip blindly at his hair and back, choking on screams of profanities he wouldn’t appreciate, and he wraps his arms under you, bending you in an arch, chest to chest, while his hot breath rolls over your sweat-cooled throat.

You feel his lips open wide, but Steve goes silent until spent.

Finally, his last slow pistons calmed in halted combustion, he nuzzles his head to the crook of your neck.

Your fingers are frozen where buried in his hair.

In the dim moonlight you can see his ass twitch, jolting in over-stimulation while he gently pulls out of you. He props himself up, posture small and timid for such broad shoulders.

He hovers above you while you try to read each other’s expressions.

“I…I…” he starts quietly, looking over and over your features.

His chin ticks closer, hesitates, and then descends so his lips can capture yours. It’s so quick and chaste, like any other first kiss, but all out of order.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words cracking in his guilt. “I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop.”

You pull him down to you, properly melding your mouth to his, beginning your next lesson already, then let him come up for air.

“It’s okay, Stevie. You can still walk me home.”

A/N: *drops bath bomb to froth in the pool of Tumblr* *runs away* Don't ask me wtf just happened because I don't know. It just consumed my whole day.

[psst. This became a whole series. 'Hideout' Masterlist]

Bucky Barnes and a kiss as encouragement ⬅️ ➡️ Jake Jensen and a kiss where it doesn't hurt

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

Tags: I'm also adding the people who showed interest in this concept earlier. You will not be tagged beyond this unless you ask! @mrs-barnes-rogers-writes @bstorn @rogersbarber @cevansbaby-dove @nowandajenn @jesevans @justherebecausesafarisucks @supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @spectre-posts @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @deandreamernp

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Yandere AIB Boys reacting to the death of their S/O

Warnings: Death - Violence - Delusional Characters - Angst - MDI - +18

♤ Chishiya

Will blame you at first. He cant deal with the feeling of losing you. He knew you were not strong or the most intelligent one in the games. Thats why he decided to pick you from the start and use you for his plans. Ending with...feelings or whatever this was it was not part of his plans.

After he returns to the beach he will decide to be alone in his room. There are things from you in there, things he stole from you for his own entreteinment. Will have his head repeating the moment of your death over and over again.

If it was caused because of another player then he will take revenge once he sees them but he is cold and tries to have his head on the ground so he will probably suffer in silence and dont take active action. You were part of his plan, nothing more, but you were his, thats a fact.

♤ Arisu

Loses his composture right there. Will go in denial mode and someone will have to shake him and take him away from your body. He does not care what caused your death he blames himself for not being closer, faster....whatever could have changed your end.

♤ Banda Sunato

Whoever or whatever caused your death....they are dead too. Banda knows he never loved you, that its all an obssesion he has, but thats not important. Its a hit at his ego that you end dead when being with him. He will take revenge during the game or after it. He may track down the ones who killed you and pay them a visit.

♤ Tatta

Poor boy cant understand what happened. One moment you were by his side and the next you are dead. Tatta its a delusional yandere, he believed you were his soulmate, that nothing could separate both of you. He probably forced the relationship. But seeing you dead...it breaks him a lot. For the rest of the days he cant eat or sleep his mind is pagued with memories of you. He also cant bring himself to hurt others...at least not alone. Will try and bribe someone to help him look out for the ones who caused your death to give them the same end.

♤ Karube

The one who acts and later asks. If it was because of another player he is fightning them the second after he sees your body. Wont stop till they are dead too or at least too wounded that he knows for sure they will be dead in the next games.

Probably will take your body with him and make you a small funeral, his friends may find it strange but wont say a thing knowing how much he loved you to levels of insanity.

♤ Aguni

He has so much control over his emotions that he does not react at first. He even kills the ones responsable for your death with no emotion. But inside he is furious. It took him so much time to have you by his side as a partner and now you are just gone. May go down into madness blaming himself, images of you may appear at him during the day making his job at the beach harder.

♤ Kuzuryu

Much like Aguni he does not show a reaction that indicates your death affected him.

But it did.

He does not have to go to a lot of games so most likely you went alone and died. He would blame Hatter but only in his mind. He knows this could happen he was never prepared for it. If some of the militars were in the game with you and got back he will ask what happened to them. He will suffer alone and in silence.

♤ Niragi

Has the worse reaction from all of them. Niragi hates everyone and everything and you were his only light and good thing. The moment he sees your dead body or your death he breaks in rage. Will hunt down whatever killed you or kill anyone near by. Wont ever mention you out loud again and if someone dares to speak about you he is getting them beaten up.

[pupkashi]

pizza time!

or the one time satoru tries to make pizza from scratch and is effectively banned from trying ever again

a/n: hi friends !! enjoy this little one shot inspired by somewhat of a true story, sort of meshed two things that happened to me together LOL hope u guys enjoy !! :3

wordcount: 1,470

masterlist

“‘toru? you home?” you ask, placing your keys on the keyholder and slipping your shoes off, sighing in relief as you walk further into your shared home. you can hear soft music coming from the kitchen as you step closer, smiling when it finally comes into view.

“well hello handsome,” you whisper, making him smile and turn around, flour on the tip of his nose. you wipe it off gently, kissing his nose right after you do.

“hey pretty,” he grins, catching your lips in his, dimples on full display from the second he saw you, “how was your day?” he asks, listening intently to your every word.

“what are you trying to make by the way?” you ask, brows furrowed as you see the packs of yeast and flour on the kitchen counter.

“pizza dough! i was thinking we can make it from scratch, have a little pizza date tonight?” the excitement in his voice is enough to make you perk up, grinning at the idea.

“that sounds amazing angel boy,” you smile, “let me change out of this and we can start, yeah?” satoru nods excitedly, continuing to set out the ingredients you two would need.

when you come back to the kitchen there’s three bowls full of cloudy water and no pizza dough in sight. instead there’s a defeated white haired man sitting on the floor, hunched over replaying a YouTube video.

“‘toru?” you ask, stifling your laughter as you walk into the kitchen. he looks up at you, blue eyes sparkling at you, a pout evident on his lips.

“it won’t bubble! i added in warm water and sugar and it’s not working,” he huffs, standing up and handing you the packet, “look they don’t even give directions!” he groans.

you inspect the packet closely, biting your lip to hold back a smile. “satoru this is active yeast, you know that right?”

“those words mean nothing to me, sweetheart.”

“you don’t have to add water to this, you just add this into whatever you’re making,” you state, watching as his frustration faded into one of astonishment and soon into a blushing mess.

“they should really put that on the packets,” he mumbles, throwing out the bowls of ruined yeast and changing the video on his phone to a different one.

“okay let me see how much flour we have to add” he mumbles, looking at the back of the bag before grabbing the scale. he’s cautious at first, adding bit by bit before losing patience. the scale goes from 30g of flour to 300g in a couple seconds.

“satoru!” you gasp, laughing as you attempt to put some of the flour back into the bag, satoru giggling as he adds the water into the flour.

“watch and learn angel boy,” you grin, grabbing the bag and pouring the flour in, stopping after a couple seconds, the scale reading an even 250g. there’s a smug grin on your face and satour wants nothing than to kiss it off your face.

he rolls his eyes, “yeah, yeah whatever,” he mumbles, adding the rest of the things he needed into the mixture before mixing with with a wooden spoon, following the exact movements on the lady in the video he was watching.

the soft music filled the comfortable silence between the two of you, only occasional comments or jokes being the conversation between the two of you as you covered the dough, setting an timer for two hours to let it rise.

the two of you plop on the couch, giggling when satoru pulls you into his lap with ease, kissing your shoulder before resting his chin.

“god i missed you,” he mumbles, voice a bit muffled by your shirt.

“i was only gone for a couple hours,” you smile, wiggling so you could face your boyfriend without hurting your neck too much. there’s a pout on his lips and you can faintly see his dimples.

“still too long,” he frowns, “wanna spend every moment of my life with you.” there’s no point in hiding the huge smile on your face as you raise your brows at him.

“do you now?” you giggle, he only smiles widely back, dimples on full display now, peppering kisses over your face as he hums in agreement.

“can’t imagine a life without you baby,” his tone is soft and comforting, you can’t help but melt at his words, kissing him softly.

you both smile into the kiss, giggles filling the room as he tells you of his day.

the two hours seem to fly by, your timer going off before the two of you knew it, heading to the the kitchen and rolling out the dough. you both mold the dough into hearts satoru arranging his pepperonis into a smiley face, grinning proudly as he showed off his creation.

you can’t suppress the yawn that escapes your lips, blinking away tears as you try and wake yourself up, willing yourself to at least finish off the toppings before you take a nap.

“go take a nap sweets, i can handle two measly pizzas” satoru smiles, “the ovens already preheated too!” you’re hesitant, satoru is quick to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, already heading towards the bedroom and paying you down.

“you do know which trays to use right?” you ask, worry etched on your face as he rolls his eyes. “yes sweetheart i know the ones.”

you’re about to open your mouth again when he’s placing a kiss to your lips, pulling the blanket over you and walking out, “have a good nap pretty!”

it takes a mere three minutes for you to knock out, deep in your sleep when you swear you smell something burning.

you try to ignore it, chalking it up to your paranoia. but the smell seems to get more intense as you stir awake.

you’re eyes are still a bit hazy when you sit up, rubbing the sleep out of them as you open the bedroom door, the smell hitting you full force.

“oh my god what happened?” you shriek, walking quickly to the windows and opening them full, trying your best to clear the living room out of the smoke.

“i may or may not have forgotten about the pizzas” satoru smiled at you nervously, the two burnt pizzas sitting sadly on the kitchen counter. no tray in sight.

“where’s the tray?” you asked, satoru’s eyes widened, face flushed as he chuckled.

“you look so beautiful today, did i tell you that?” he smiles. you only cross your arms over your chest, making him frown a bit as he points at the oven.

the tray he grabbed was not the metal one he thought it was.

the plastic was melted, the only parts not completely destroyed was the two areas where the pizzas had been. you couldn’t help but laugh a bit, your hand flying over your mouth in shock.

“i leave you alone in the kitchen for not even 30 minutes!” you laugh, shocked at the amount of tragedy that had taken place in your absence.

satoru can only smile sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, his black t shirt practically white with the amount of flour on it. you’re nodding your head, laughing as you rest your head on his chest.

“what am i gonna do with you, angel boy,” you smile, the two of you walking over the couch, sitting down in silence.

“we could always order in?” satoru suggests, grinning when you burst out laughing again.

twenty minutes later there’s a knock on your door, two boxes with perfectly cooked pizzas in them.

“next time ill definitely check them more often,” satoru mumbles, the words make you turn and face him slowly. you state state at each other, blinking slowly before you speak up.

“you’re banned from pizza making in this home,” you state, satoru’s mouth falls open, gasping at your words.

“it wasn’t even that bad!” he defends, watching you got up from your seat, grabbed one of the pizzas and knocked it against the counter.

“this pizza is harder than fucking diamond im pretty sure!” you laugh incredulously, “i genuinely think the pepperonis disintegrated in the oven.”

satoru pouts, “everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others.” he can’t help but smile, knowing there was no way he’d ever even try to make pizza again, not on his own at least.

“no yeah those are fucking terrible” he laughs, getting up and grabbing what was supposed to be his pizza. “oh my god you’re right!” his eyes wide as he realizes he can’t find any of his pepperonis.

satoru only tried to make pizza once after that, only to realize he liked Pizza Hut so much better, effectively giving up on his pizza making endeavors for good.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi

[howlsofbloodhounds]

If Color and Killer ever had a fight/argument, what do you think would have caused it? If killer did something that made color annoyed or,,, idk actually

Killer is a bitch, a heavily traumatized mentally ill disordered bitch. I’m sure there’s been a lot of fights and arguments, especially in the beginning. 2 was definitely uh. violent, manipulative, threatening. likely vulgar and provocative (as in the causing anger and annoyance on purpose way.) especially if we go with the idea that he was planning to play along and be friends with color to gain access to his six souls at first.

especially since killers also a massively paranoid distrusting bitch.

He’s not a complete angel in 1 either. Mood swings, emotional outbursts, intense emotions and numbness, frequently dissociated or numbed out if not in the verge of a breakdown, intense fears of abandonment and rejection and feeling unworthy of anything good or nice. likely allowing things to happen or not doing things he should (defending himself, defending someone else, etc) out of fear that making the wrong choice means he’ll lose his good ending and it’ll all reset again and nothing will matter again.

An excessive sense of dependence on color and his judgments and his choices, avoiding and distrusting others fearfully potentially to the point he wouldn’t even want to leave their house and wouldn’t be able to handle having other people over either without panicking and breaking down—probably a lot of flashbacks to all the times of what happened the last times he was surrounded by people in enclosed spaces.

A lot of this may be mostly inward but his refusal and inability to communicate is what leads to repression leads to dissociation leads to the more outward behaviors in higher Stages.

(For example: the whole blood orange duo rivalry is fueled by insecurities that Stage 1 is too afraid and scared to acknowledge or say or talk about. (Of course. Look what happened anytime he might’ve tried.)

Stage 2 might allow detachment from the overwhelm and provide a sense of control and logic, but those insecurities and jealousies are funneled into a more viscous and territorial mindset and a lack of care for morals or “going too far” and an indifference for consequences.

Stage 1 might be horrified by the way he thinks and behaves in Stage 2, but it would only play into his sense of powerlessness and learned helplessness. He’d still feel deeply ashamed but at the same time he’s still afraid of Delta, of everyone, and he’s bitter. At least when he’s like that he’s strong enough to fight for Color, is probably what he thinks, even if he’s afraid that he’ll take it too far and lose Color anyway.)

Potential neediness and clinginess to the point it can become overbearing and suffocating. excessively hiding information about himself and keeping secrets out of fear and shame and guilt and worry of what color would think of him if he knew the full extent of everything he’s done both under nightmare and with Chara.

(He hid something as dangerous and violent as Stage 4 from Color out of shame and fear, and tried to say Color’s only options would be killing him if he ever went into Stage 3. Pretty awful position to put someone who’s trying to help you in.

And its also a pretty shitty thing to go around asking people to kill you (color, that one lil comic with swap at the end as a sorta joke that i posted on like TikTok but can’t find anymore) even if its understandable that he’s not in a good state of mind.)

And Color is a patient man but he’s still a dude who’s also known for emotional outbursts—especially when he was in the Void. He’s gonna have to actively choose to exercise patience and understanding with Killer, as they both will, and try help him even understand why he believes and behaves and reacts the way he does, what he’s feeling and why—and in a way that doesn’t make Killer feel forced or trapped. Communication is going to be hard when is requires vulnerability and openness.

Colors probably gonna have to deal with a lot of killer accusing and insinuating a whole lot of unpleasant nasty things about him and his motives and his character.

[vroomvroomwee]

Everyone notices Aziraphales self-sabotaging people-pleasing tendencies but no one ever talks about Crowley.

Now imagine being an angel, completely unaware that falling is possible ending up in hell surrounded by evil and malicious beings, being grouped with them, being told you're one of them. One of the things you'll probably feel is shame, shame that you're down there, shame that you weren't good enough, shame that you have disappointed Her. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix it.

Then you start to hang out with an angel. An angel supposed to be your hereditary enemy, an angel who's there to thwart your work, but... that's not what he's doing. Instead he befriends you, he's kind to you, he's helping you, he cares for you... and you care for him. He's the "only friend you have" and you can't bear to lose him, the same way you lost Her. You can't disappoint him.

So you don't even try to show how kind you really are, how much you're capable of love, in case he finds out you aren't, in case he one day might discover you aren't holy enough, in case he finds "spots" and realises you're not good enough, not perfect enough.

Crowley would rather convince Aziraphale that he's evil and demonic rather than risk the chance of disappointing him, and consequently losing him, than risk him abandoning and leaving him. If he's aware of his wickedness he won't ever be disappointed in him. Crowley never paints himself as kind because he can't compete with Aziraphale, he's not an angel anymore and he can't ever be, so he doesn't even try. Because if Aziraphale ever did happen to find it he can say "I told you, it's your fault, not mine... not this time."

He disappointed Her once, he can't disappoint Him.

Those internal thoughts are explicitly (and slightly violently) expressed through his plants. He shreds the imperfect ones obviously, but in this season, out of all his possessions, he keeps the plants. There's nothing wrong with them, they haven't disappointed him yet. They're perfect, and by keeping them perfect he's keeping himself that way. By fixing his plants he's fixing himself.

It's partly why he introduces Aziraphale to food. If you can like and enjoy something earthly, not heavenly and holy, maybe you will realise imperfection isn't so bad. If you can love that, you can love me.

Aziraphale goes about pleasing people in a very obvious way, he actively seeks their approval, their validation, their praise, actively trying to impress them. Meanwhile Crowley is the exact opposite. His people pleasing expresses itself in complete contrast to Aziraphales'. Out of fear of rejection he doesn't even bother, he purposefully and strongly tries to convince everyone around him that he doesn't care about their opinion, down to his words, his maneurisms and his tone. But... demons lie.

And despite how hard he tries, Aziraphale always sees through him, time and time again he sees how kind he really is. And that belief ingrains itself in his head by the end of the season. "We don't dance", that closeness hasn't even occurred to him was possible, and yet it is. Beelzebub and Gabriel are also possible, that could be them.

By the finale Aziraphale finally got the recognition he's so desperately wanted from heaven, while Crowley got the exact opposite. Now the main reason for the sunglasses is to hide his eyes, he does it out of shame, because he thinks they're proof of his failures. When talking to Gabriel he even takes the glasses off and uses his eyes as a weapon, as something to be feared and scared of. Baring his eyes for Aziraphale he's baring his imperfections, his shame.

Aziraphale saying he wants him as an angel so that he can not worry about disappointing anyone again and maybe, finally, be happy, like he was when they first met, sounded to Crowleys ears like "you're dissapointing me and I can never love you while you're imperfect"... and, hiding his eyes, his failures, he will never bear himself open again...

Aziraphale and Crowley are complete opposites to each other in this sense, and this internal part of their personalities is a prime example of how the show and the book plays with contrast. A thing might appear obvious from surface observation, but upon closer inspection it turns out to be the exact opposite.

(I know most of it is fear of what hell will do to him, but this thought came to me when we can still see him denying his kindness even after Armagedidnt, when hell can't touch him)

Edit: Also, might I point out, how Crowley looks visibly agitated every time Aziraphale says I forgive you. To Aziraphale that means: "I will forgive you if that's what you need me to do, I will always accept you and there's nothing you can do that will turn me away from you". But all Crowley hears is: "you've done something wrong, you've dissapointed me", because if he hasn't then there wouldn't be anything to forgive now would there.

And in the Job episode, where no one can hear them he is still adamant and determined to prove to Aziraphale just how evil he is. With the episode ending in such a sweet and wholesome way, where Crowley ends up comforting him and just generally being so so soft with Aziraphale. The way he wished someone was with him, the way he wished someone would comfort him in such a way. "He's like me". Both of them so similar yet expressing their struggles in such a different way.

Aziraphale deals with his self-esteem issues by feeling important, by making a difference, every time Crowley saves him he feels appreciated, he feels he's worth something as he sees the trouble Crowley goes through for him. Meanwhile Crowley is the exact opposite, his fear of failure manifetst itself as a love language in the form of acts of service. Every time he saves Aziraphale he fixes part of his failings, he gets to prove himself, he couldn't do those things for Her so hes doing them for Him, because he loves him. "Rescuing me makes him so happy", makes him feel like he's worth a damn.

And that's precisely why he doesn't tell Aziraphale he lives in his car. He doesn't want to show he needs help, that he's struggling, and doesn't want to show any weakness or vulnerability. He's the one who's supposed to be rescuing him, not the other way around. He's supposed to maintain that strong persona and not dissapoint anyone.

And it's no wonder he loves Aziraphale so much. They are both so similar and he sees himself in him but at the same time he sees everything he wishes he could be, everything he can't be, everything he isn't. He loves Aziraphale for his kindness, his bravery and courage, his gentleness, his pure heart, his hope... everything he's lost. He loves him for not changing, for not breaking, for not allowing anyone to modify him. For not following the collective, for his individuality, something that can be observed in Crowley himself. But for still having a pure heart after all he's seen and all that has been done to him, are the things Crowley hasn't been able to accomplish in his own eyes. He loves and basically worships Aziraphale because of this. He's everything he wishes he could be and in his eyes Aziraphale is indeed ethereal and godly.

And how this is all encapsulated in his decision to run away with Azieaphale. Just like he sees people liking him as too much, too scary, too risky, so he doesn't bother, he runs away is the same way he wants to escape Armaggedon and not even try to save Earth. He did try once, a long time ago, he tried to prove himself, tried to be kind, and he failed, he was judged. And that has created a very very deep trauma response in him. Meanwhile, Aziraphale, the complete opposite, stays and fights. He openly fights for validation and he viciously fights for humanity. Even though both of them are completely the same in the sense of loving this planet and its people.

[inkyvendingmachine]

T'was The Night Before Crisis... Season 4, Episode 1

💀 Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx Masterpost 💀 Call of Cthulhu Season Four Masterpost (Coming Soon)

Warning: This campaign is an edited version of  a Call of Cthulhu scenario from the Tales of the Crescent City book. While a lot has been changed, there IS spoilers for it throughout these posts.

WE'RE BACK. After over a whole heckin year of 10000 RP logs, we have returned with our final season of Cthulhu! It's been not just a year out of game, but a little over a year worth of in game time has passed too, and they boys are indulging in a chill, at home seasonal celebration... for now! Surely nothing weird will happen, nothing ever does around holidays for these boys obviously.

:)

Happy Holidays!

Art Credit: @inkdemonapologist : sketching + inking @inkyvendingmachine : concept + colouring

A week. Two weeks. A month. A season. A year.

A whole year and a couple of months go by without any crazy outside force trying to rid the boys of… anything really. The time isn't exactly calm or empty… but compared to recent events, for a while, things were… kinda normal?

Well, except for when Joey got Peter to help him meet with Y secretly to prevent the gang from continuing to mess with JDS, or when Sammy and Henry realized mid tennis match that a version of Henry had slashed him right through the center. Or how the Prophet can just pop out now without ink. And how Susie has been brought in on all this, and perhaps brought in on even more than just the supernatural content as her bonds with Sammy and Joey grow tighter. And how Peter is actually moving to New York City now and ends up visiting Jack just as Beans goes missing and now there’s many little Beans kittens. And the summoning spell to ask the spirit that helped them in Haiti what will become of Sammy and Prophet. And the other summoning spell for Prophet to get his instructions from the Masked Messenger. And Sammy still can't tell where he's going half the time after uncovering some of Prophet’s memories. And Joey is still a bit hesitant to leave the studio if not being actively distracted. But other than that! It's been normal!!

And the boys have made it all the way to Christmas. Joey's received some parcels in the mail, from the Fowlers and Nicole. The Fowlers actually sent each of the helpful boys uh… 1000$?? That's a thousand. EACH. IN THE 1930s. For helping out… which I guess if stuck eternally in soul lake hell, wouldn't have that money anyways. But still, that's quite a lot for the time.

Meanwhile, Nicole has had time to move on from her heartbreak, and is ready to start a new chapter in her life, and as thanks, leaves Joey both the keys to her old apartment (the lease being paid up for a few years already) and to her previous car, with a guarantee she's giving these things up for better, not to worry about her. And totally not because maybe all the occult scratches and bullet marks in the wall makes the apartment hard to rent, or the fact that her car is an extremely recognized Mercedes, or that both of these assets were hounded by gangs for a bit after her magical mistakes…

It probably is actually all out of good will and appreciation, and these things will come in useful, especially if they do need to deal with more mafia or what have you. Joey doesn't need them tracking Henry's car home to his family or back to Jack's house.

With those gifts out of the way, the actual holiday is spent in Jack's house, with a big potluck meal. This holiday celebration includes a small group of friends and their families, namely, all the people Jack has befriended and also would be okay with the Lurker partying with em. The event goes well, Sammy gets to play through the night, Henry’s children get to hang out with a real Bendy and also a buncha newly grown-up cats, Henry gets to eat as many cookies as he wants… 

That… slows down when Henry sees a yellow sign in a ribbon. But as soon as he tries to not lose his entire cool and freak out, it disappears… the ribbon was just a ribbon the entire time. Perhaps golden ribbons shouldn't be their normal holiday decor… 

Meanwhile, Peter feels eyes on him and decides to move away from the window maybe, especially because it feels like he suddenly knew exactly which star in the sky holds Carcosa at the same time… surely a fine coincidence to have happened at almost the same time. But nobody else is acting weirdly, sooooo.

The night wraps up, with Susie and Norman heading out first, followed by Henry and his family. Sammy also heads home after being socially exhausted and desperately needing his alone time, and Peter helps Jack clean up some before heading out too. Jack heads to bed, only to find an already asleep Joey with a Spark sprawled on top of him, probably after he “closed his eyes for a moment” a little earlier. 

The next day, there's technically work, but it's a short day because what's actually happening is a charity auction and party. A collection of “originals, signed by the creators” has been donated to help raise money for relief efforts in a few warring European countries, as well as the “entertainment” for the evening (Bendy cartoons, of course), courtesy of JDS, which means of course all the stars who signed the auctioned items were invited to the party as well.

Yes, even Sammy. 

(And also Jack, Henry, Susie, and Joey of course.)

The event is being held at a yacht club, advertised to the wealthies of the city midst the great depression, with live music playing and glittering evening wear, and uh. Denis.

Y'know, Denis?? That rich guy from NOLA who invited us to the masquerade?? That Joey casually name dropped his legal name to in order to keep him from tracing himself and Sammy back to JDS, when they didn't know who or how dangerous their initial information gathering was.

Anyways, a quick little talking him in circles by Joey corrects that past mistake, as well as gets him the information that Denis is actually related to one of the people who put the entire event together. Ha. Good to know.

Of course it's difficult to shake him afterwards, since Joey is one of the few people Denis knows all the way up in New York. At least Joey actually has a fancy car to talk about now.

Meanwhile, in the quietest, emptiest corner he could find, Sammy notices something odd about the song that's currently being played live. It sounds familiar, and while surely there's been some Bendy music played this evening…. This particular song is not that. But it WAS composed by Sammy.

In NOLA.

When he was improvising with some random music on the street while hanging out on the balcony of his and Joey's hotel room. Properly freaked out by having a song from a very scary time literally come back to haunt him, Sammy runs to find someone, (Joey is still busy with Denis), and comes across Jack first. But before he can fully explain, the entire party is interrupted.

Chatter turns into hushed confusion as some pale man up near the front starts speaking in tongues. It's hard to tell if he's trying to perform some ritual or just incoherently rambling, but it doesn't matter! Because very quickly there’s a gunshot!!

And the Prophet? He's awake. He knows what that gunshot was. He's been waiting for this.

It has begun.

Of course the entire party breaks out in panic once the gun goes off. Joey doesn't know what sort of Eldritch nonsense was happening up front, but upon scanning the crowd and noticing Jack and Sammy together, beelines for the snack table to grab Henry and search for Susie.

As everyone is being rushed out, some of the boys manage to notice that not all of the panic is simply from the mad ramblings and sudden bullet, but also we've got some people in the crowd bleeding from their eyes. How festive!

Upon getting outside, the Yacht club is of course already being surrounded by security and the police, as the sudden gun shots quickly alerted locals to the nonsense going on. Nobody is allowed to bolt until an investigation is conducted and people are questioned, but of course Joey managed to sweet talk his way over to a telephone to make a very important quick phone call.

To one Peter Sunstram! 

Turns out, between all their arguments, there are a few things they can agree on, which includes quietly spying on suspicious parties even though they should probably not be doing that if they actually wanna be safe but surely everyone will understand when they find out IT'S FINE.

Anyways Peter’s been keeping an eye on Y, and earlier in the day Y seemed to be performing some ritual before having some kind of … breakthrough? Revelation? Peter had told Joey of it, and in good faith Joey agreed to keep an eye out for WEIRDNESS, hoping that Y was upholding his promise to not be interfering with JDS anymore. But now this episode seems to have specifically happened, right at their exact event for the evening, so Joey does his best to pass along as much info as he can in that moment to Peter. As well as set up a backup plan in case anything else happens to them before they can escape the Yacht Club.

After some interviews with the police though, they’re allowed to go free. Listening to other partygoers' recollections they’re able to pick up a few more names here and there – the one who fired the gun up front by the bandstand is said to be another local gangster by the name of Johnny Nero, and the band playing on that bandstand one Red Leverett and the Jumps – but no evidence that really points the crew in any sort of serious lead. (including more commentary by Denis wHY ARE YOU STILL HERE UR NOT PART OF THE GROUP)

So having managed to collect everyone together, including Prophet returning Sammy to the front for the interview thank the lord (not that one)(not that one either)(maybe that one) the JDS crew head over to their very safe and secure hide away to talk about what just happened: that’s right, they’re going to Peter’s apartment.

And staying there through midnight! Listen, the last time weird shit started happening like this, everything popped off at midnight and there were panics all around. It’d be nice to know where people were this evening. And while they’re all sitting around waiting for that to pass, Henry and Peter can even talk about the really weird things that happened last night! Yknow, where Henry saw the yellow sign for a moment and Peter felt something watching him from space? Those very normal Christmas activities?

The group also gets informed about how Peter maybe has been keeping an eye on the Y that still hangs out in the city, and how Y was excited over some weird ritual. While he goes over that and also Joey and Peter guiltily kinda admit to their secret spying tendencies, Henry gets info from Linda when he calls to explain why he’s not home yet and how he won’t be home for a little while still. She’s remembered some research that crosses over with the prophecies they had gotten a month or so after the last big event like this. And Jack and Sammy bring up how they had been theorizing over who’s and what’s in the prophecies… for instance, that which the Phantom seeks, who bears already the scars of following the Mender’s lead….

Is it Peter? He followed Jack into the weird ghosty world. Is it Joey? He’s followed the Mender in other ways, and also literally bears scars caused from Jack’s healing. Or is it somehow Y?? Who seems… involved in this somehow, despite promising he wouldn’t be fucking around with stuff that might step on JDS’s toes again.

With no real conclusions, but midnight having come and past, people start to head home. Joey has someone drop him off at the studio, as after weirdness happened with any sort of occult stuff he’s interested in checking in on Bendy and the Stone. Since, those tend to be targets for this kinda creepy thing. Bendy is perfectly fine though, and hardly even noticed anything going on… So Joey picks up some of his notes and… finds himself unable to leave the studio. For some reason it just seems like the wrong idea… so he spends all night up researching, unsettled by how many non-leads he has into what will possibly happen next. It’s starting to feel like Haiti again, knowing that something bad is coming but really having no idea where to fortify with this information.

But he does have something new… 

He has plenty of things new now, including his dream spell. 

Peter’s not the only one who can spy, and while Joey is sure he’d hit some kind of barrier trying to peek in on Y’s dreams… just knowing whether the man was still alive, or possessed by some eldritch nonsense seemed like a good place to start. Maybe his excitement at the ritual earlier was coincidental…

The thing is, defying all reason, Joey’s able to step into Y’s dream just fine somehow.

This is probably not something he’ll regret doing later, surely.

[Next Episode] (not yet released)

[mandos-mind-trick]

Healing Touch

Summary: It's ironic that your soulmate would be the one to save your life after sharing a pain connection with him. After the base you work at is attacked, you meet your soulmate, a loyal, dedicated clone who is willing to do anything to keep you two together.

Pairing: Kix x reader Soulmate AU

Warnings: NSFW, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, Kix is a freak, cum eating, oral, lots of discussion of pain and injuries, reader gets a really bad injury, life threatening injuries, blood, brief gore, medical stuff, soulmate AU, bad jokes.

A/N: I kinda hate this one but here you go. A surprise update to this series. I feel bad about not posting anything in a bit so I wrote some stuff. Also kind of inspired by a thread about friends of nurses who say they're a bunch of freaks. I'll let that speak for itself.

MASTERLIST

Pain is nothing new to Kix. 

Though he’s usually the one treating others in pain, he’s had his fair share of injuries as well. Being in active combat had its risks, and he often witnessed them firsthand. He was also used to phantom pains that seemed to plague him every so often. Pain in his fingers and hands, like burns or the dull ache after pinching your finger between something. There were occasional deeper pains and aches, but after the war started it got harder and harder to determine which ones were his and which weren’t. 

His soulmate link, he had figured out quickly after a panicked scan to make sure he wasn’t injured, or perhaps defective and suffering from some ailment they were supposed to be immune to.

It was ironic, really, that his soulmate link would be pain. Each soulmate feels the phantom pain of the others injuries. Though he had avoided some nasty injuries, he still feels bad for his soulmate. Not that they weren’t also constantly getting hurt as well, but theirs were more small pains than anything. In the rare moments when he wasn’t busy, he liked to try and picture what had happened, what they could be doing. 

It’s what keeps him sane when the missions get bad, when they go wrong, when he has to look past his brothers' suffering as he tries to save them. 

He often worries in the dead of night. What if something happens to his soulmate? Are they involved in the war? What if their planet gets attacked and no one’s there to help? Sometimes he lays there and waits for the inevitable excruciating pain of a fatal wound, or the blinding pain of losing his soulmate. He worries about something happening to him as well. He doesn’t want to do that to his soulmate. He’d watched far too many troopers die, far too many leaving their soulmates without ever having the chance to meet them. 

It happens one day, when his worst nightmares come to life. 

They had just finished a hard won campaign against the Separatists and Kix was still hard at work in the med-bay patching up those who were less severely injured. It takes him a moment to realize what’s happening, a strange feeling blossoming in his right side below his ribs. 

Then the pain hits him. 

He doubles over, barely catching himself on the gurney Fives was seated on. 

“Kix,” Fives puts a hand on his shoulder. “You alright?” 

Kix grits his teeth, trying to breathe through the sharp, stabbing pain in his right side. Had he been injured and not noticed until now as his adrenaline begins to crash? He can’t feel anything on his side, no wound, no blood, nothing. Had he taken a hit and not noticed? 

“Come on,” Fives says, slipping an arm around his shoulders. “You don’t look too good.” 

He was supposed to be checking Fives for a concussion, but instead here he is being escorted onto an empty gurney by his patient. A droid runs a scan, checking everything but there’s nothing. Still, the pain burns through him, sharp and stabbing with every breath in. 

It’s not him. 

It’s his soulmate. 

Many things begin to rush through his head. Had something happened? Is it some sort of organ failure, perhaps? With the pain where it is, it could be any number of things. An injury? Illness? Are they getting help? Can they get help? 

A comforting hand on his shoulder brings him back from his racing thoughts. Fives knows. Most of the squad knows. They trusted each other on the battlefield, and with their deepest secrets. He presses his hand into his side, taking a deep breath. He wishes he could ease the pain even a little. 

The doors slide open, Rex stepping in. 

“Kix, Fives, we need every able bodied trooper ready for a debrief in ten minutes.” He says. 

“What’s going on?” Fives asks. “We just finished a campaign.” 

“We’re being rerouted.” Rex says. “There was an attack on a base nearby. They need as many hands as they can get.” 

Kix tries not to let his thoughts take over as he rouses every physically able trooper. He can’t think about his soulmate right now. He has a job to do. 

***

Kix’s hands are shaking. He rarely lets himself get affected by the injuries he sees. He’s seen a lot, he has been trained to see a lot. Combat medics see the worst of things, and they weren’t supposed to break. They had to be prepared for anything. Calm under intense pressure, stable enough to be quick thinkers and ready to take charge if needed. 

The carnage left from the attack is some of the worst he’s seen. 

These weren’t just clones. 

There are civilians. 

Most of them are civilians. Engineers and mechanics employed by the GAR. Clone armor wasn’t impenetrable, but it offered a lot of protection against injuries and wounds. He’d seen clones survive what should have been a fatal shot because of their armor. Civilians don’t have armor. Most of them don’t see combat so there was no point to them wearing armor. Most of them stayed on bases, safe from the danger of combat. 

At least, the bases are supposed to be safe. 

The 18th Battalion had arrived shortly before them and had already begun locating and treating survivors. They were already working to stabilize those in the worst condition to shuttle them to the cruisers to get more intensive care. 

There’s still civilians inside. 

Most of the troopers were working their way through the ruins of the base, searching for more survivors. Most of them had been accounted for. Either managing to escape harm, or were already being treated. There were still many that were still missing. Kix knows trying to find all of them is impossible, but they had confirmed areas where there were injured civilians still, or they had heard voices calling out for help. 

“This thing could collapse any minute.” Crash says as the mangled roof groans dangerously above them. 

“There’s one right up ahead.” Kix says, staring at the map. 

Something falls off in the distance, the crash echoing through the air before it settles. Both troopers share a look before pressing forward, stepping carefully. Kix’s side still aches, pain still burning through him, but he pushes onward. He has a job to do. He can only hope his soulmate is alright. 

There’s nothing he can do to help. 

He moves forward with Crash, stepping around a piece of collapsed roof. The civilian marked on the map is right there, sitting against a piece of still-intact wall. It doesn’t take Kix long to figure out why no one has helped her yet. A piece of rebar has impaled her through her right side. 

She’s still awake, wide eyed and breathing shallowly. One look at her eyes tells Kix she’s in shock. She’s soaked in sweat and pale, blood staining her light blue shirt. He kneels down in front of her, taking a quick scan. She’s uninjured aside from the rebar, which has gone straight through her and into the wall behind her. 

“What’s your name?” He asks her. 

She tells him, her voice weak and shaky. 

“We’re going to get you out of here.” He says, the pain in his side increasing as Crash moves her just slightly to check how stuck the rebar is in the wall. 

His eyes widen beneath his helmet and he stares at her for a moment. Where the rebar is in her side is almost exactly where the pain is on his side. It couldn’t be...could it? 

“There’s no way of moving her without removing it.” Crash says. 

Kix sighs. He knows moving her at all is going to be excruciating. He takes a second to assess things and calm himself before doing what he does best and takes charge. “We can’t risk removing it. She’ll bleed out before we can get her out of here. Is there enough room to cut it back there?” 

“Barely.” Crash says. “It’ll be close.” 

“We have to try.” Kix says. 

Kix kneels in front of her, bending her top half forward just slightly, until he can feel the pain of the rebar moving inside of her. He lets her rest against his shoulder, her hands weakly lifting to cling to his arms as Crash cuts through the rebar behind her. 

He doesn’t need to guess to know how much pain she’s in. He can feel it. He has no doubt he’s right in front of his soulmate. Oh how he wishes they’d met in a different way. It was ironic, though, that he’d be the one saving his soulmate’s life. He’s determined to do everything in his power to save her. 

She cries out as the rebar jostles free, pain radiating through Kix as well. He breathes steadily, trying to comfort her as best he can. The pain begins to numb, her hands slipping from his arms. He pushes her so she’s sitting up slightly, hands cupping her cheeks. 

“Hey,” He pats her face gently, her eyes fluttering. “Stay with me.” 

Her eyes flutter before they crack open, staring at him blankly. He takes in their color, trying to memorize her face. 

“Let's get her on the stretcher and onto a shuttle.” Kix says, forcing himself back into his roll. He needs to get her into a surgical pod sooner rather than later. 

Navigating the building is hard as they carry the stretcher, Crash talking to her to try and keep her awake. He can barely hear her responses, and later Crash would tell him she was speaking nonsense. He’s not entirely sure she even knew what was happening. 

They get her loaded onto a shuttle, Kix having to watch it fly away the hardest thing he’s had to do. He wanted to be there, wanted to stay by her side, wanted to make sure she was going to be alright, that they got to her in time. He would know if she died, if he had failed. 

He shakes those thoughts from his mind, jumping back in to help the other injured civilians.   

***

Your head is throbbing when you wake. You feel like you’ve swallowed sand, your mouth and throat dry and aching. There’s beeping around you, and a harsh sterile scent burns your nose. Something flashes behind your eyes and you force them open, blinking against the bright lights. 

Something presses against your shoulders, keeping you still as you try to shift into a more comfortable position. Pain shoots through your right side, stealing your breath for a moment. 

“Easy.” A voice says above you. You know that voice. “Didn’t think you’d be up so soon.”

You blink blearily up at the figure standing over you. Your vision is still blurry, your mind trying to catch up. You’re disoriented, feeling far away from your body. 

“Here,” Something cold and wet touches your lips. “Drink.” 

You drink through the straw, cold water hitting your dry mouth. You drink greedily, feeling refreshed as the sandy feeling in your mouth begins to disappear. 

“Bacta makes my mouth feel dry too.” 

You turn your head to look at the person standing next to you. He’s a clone, you can tell that much as your vision begins to clear. That’s why you recognize his voice. You’re no stranger to clones after working for the GAR for two years. 

You press the heel of your hand into your forehead, closing your eyes. “Where am I?” You murmur, not even sure actual words come out. 

“On a cruiser, heading for a medical station. Do you remember what happened?” He asks slowly. 

You think for a moment. Do you remember? “It was a normal day at work.” You start, walking yourself through your day. “I was working on an attack shuttle. I had gone to grab a different tool when...” Horrible images flash through your mind. You remember being thrown, heat washing over you. Something hitting you, or you hitting something. Pain. You remember pain.

Something beeps rapidly beside you, the clone putting a hand on your shoulder. “It’s alright. The base was attacked.” He explains. “You were injured badly. I was one of the ones that got you out. I wanted to come and check, make sure you were alright.” 

You stare at him, taking him in. His head is buzzed, lightning bolts shaved into the short buzzed hair. There’s a tattoo on the side of his head, but you can’t see all of it from this angle. He’s handsome, as you thought most clones were. His armor is painted blue with the medic’s symbol on his shoulder. 

“Thank you.” You say, staring up into his brown eyes. “For saving me.” 

He smiles softly, running a hand over his head. “Well, it is my job. And I wasn’t about to let anything happen to my soulmate.” 

You stare at him blankly, taking in his words. Soulmate? 

“You have a pain link, right?” He asks, looking so hopeful. 

You nod slowly, still trying to process his words. You had tried not to think too much about your soulmate. Your link had appeared later than you expected, little pains here and there, that blossomed into harsher ones more often. You wondered about your soulmate and if they were alright, until the war started. You had heard about people discovering their soulmates were clones and that’s why their links had shown up later. 

You haven't put much thought into it. You were destined to meet eventually, and you trusted it would happen. You had been more focused on leaving home, on building your career. 

He grabs a small needle pulling off his glove before pricking his finger with it. You feel the sharp pinch on your own finger, lifting your hand to stare at it. 

Nothing. 

No mark. 

No blood. 

You let your hand drop slowly, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

“My name’s Kix.” He says. “Medic with the 501st Legion.” 

You tell him your name, introducing yourself with your status as a civilian engineer. 

“I didn’t think this was how we were going to meet.” He says. “I’ve been waiting for this for a while.” 

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. You knew about clones, about the rules around soulmates. That’s partially why you refused to think too much about it. You don’t want to be rejected. You’re not sure you can handle that. “A-Aren’t you supposed to-” 

“Technically.” He says, cutting you off with a grin. “Most of us don’t follow those rules.” 

You stare at him for a moment. “But...” 

“If all of us followed every rule, we probably would have lost the war already.” He leans against the side of the bed. “There’d be a lot fewer of us, anyway.” 

Your brain feels like it's moving in slow motion. “So...you’re not going to reject me?” 

He smiles, shaking his head. “No. Not unless you want me to.” 

You shake your head. “No, no. I just...didn’t expect...” 

“I know it’s a lot. Especially after what just happened.” Kix says. “I just wanted you to know since we’ll be leaving after everyone’s offloaded at the medical station. I didn’t want to miss this chance in case we don’t cross paths again.” 

Right. Their only job was getting you to the medical station. They still had a war to fight, so naturally they’d be leaving off to their next battle. You’re not sure where you’re going to end up now that the base you had been stationed at is gone. The chances of you two crossing paths again is slim, but you were soulmates for a reason. 

You take his bare hand, squeezing it gently. You can feel it, the flow of energy between you two. His calloused fingers wrap around yours, and you try to memorize just how his skin feels against yours. “We’ll meet again.” You say, staring at your hands. “We are soulmates after all.” 

He smiles, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “You’re right. I just hope it’s under better circumstances.” 

You can’t help but smile. “I hope so too. I’d be happy if I never had to go through that again.” 

***

Your name is called as you make your way down the hallway. 

After your brief stay at the medical station, you had been sent back to Coruscant to the GAR headquarters to await reassignment. You assumed you’d be staying on Coruscant, since the war was heating up and a bunch of dead civilian workers wasn’t exactly a good look. 

You turn, one of the lead engineers walking up to you.

“I have your orders for your reassignment.” She says, handing you a datapad. “You’re loading up with the 501st when they arrive.” 

“The 501st?” Your eyebrows lift in surprise. 

“I hear they asked for you directly.” She says. 

Your brows furrow. Kix was assigned to the 501st. Had he managed to pull some strings without giving anything away? You couldn’t risk revealing anything, not with the GAR directly involved. So how had he done it? 

They arrive a few hours later. You’re patiently waiting on the airfield among crates of supplies to be loaded on. The venator cruiser kicks up a breeze as it lands, truly an engineering marvel. A huge floating city, capable of housing thousands. Ships weren’t your specialty, but you often found yourself working on their communication systems. You had been fixing one in a shuttle when the base was attacked. 

You wait for the offloading of troops and supplies, heading into the ship as troopers begin moving supplies on. You look around the hangar, likely where you’ll spend most of your time. Shuttles and cruisers, and all other sorts of vehicles. 

You eventually find the lead engineer, getting a tour and introduction to the cruiser. You had only been on one briefly, most of your knowledge about them being learned virtually during training. You had spent more time learning about the clone’s armor and how to fix any sort of malfunction or damage that may be caused. The functionality of their armor is essential, especially their helmets. 

You’re eager to see Kix again. You want to know just how he’d managed to get you assigned to his battalion. You can’t be conspicuous, though. Even at this proximity, you still have to be careful. If the wrong person found out, it would spell disaster for both of you. 

You’re checking through one of the supply rooms when he finds you. Your first task with the 501st had been to restock and organize the supplies getting loaded onto the ship. It was a typical task for a newbie, since you’d need to learn the layout of the supply room and where things are located in case you need them in a pinch. 

“Hello, mesh’la.” 

You nearly jump out of your skin as the deep voice breaks the silence of the supply closet. You spin around, finding Kix leaning against one of the shelves behind you. You hadn’t even heard him come in. That was precisely why you weren’t a soldier. 

“Kix!” You put a hand on your chest. “You scared me!” 

He grins. “Sorry. Thought you heard me come in.” 

You shake your head. “I was too focused, I guess.” 

“It’s good to see you.” He says, stepping closer. “I missed you.” 

It has been a few weeks since you’ve seen him. You’ve missed him too. You’d felt it, the longing deep in your soul for its other half. The distance, the lack of contact had begun to eat at you. It’s easing now with him so close. Even though you’ve just been reunited, your entire body is already relaxing. 

“I missed you too.” You say, stepping closer to him. 

He pushes the cart out of the way, stepping up right in front of you. You stare up at him, his fingers grazing over your side. “How do you feel?” 

“Completely healed.” You say with a smile. “Hardly more than a scar left.”

“Good.” He says, wrapping his arms around you. You’ve never been this close to him before, but it feels right. “I hated feeling you in pain.” 

“I hated being in pain.” You reply, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Though, whatever you did to your foot a week ago, that sucked.” 

He grins sheepishly. “Would you believe me if I told you that was a box of medical supplies?” 

You stare at him for a moment. “No.” 

He chuckles. “I’ll tell you about it later.” He leans down, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m just glad you’re here.” 

“Yeah, how did you manage to get me assigned to the 501st?” You ask, pulling away slightly. 

He lifts a hand, rubbing the back of his head. “Well, I may have told Rex and had him put in a special request.” 

You stare at him wide eyed. 

“Don’t worry,” He tries to ease your concern. “He’s not going to say anything. None of them are.” 

“What did you do, tell the whole squad?” You ask. 

“The whole platoon, actually.” He says sheepishly. 

“You were the one that said we had to be careful.” You punch his shoulder, the plastoid harder than you expected it to be. 

“I think that hurt you more than me.” He says, taking your hand and inspecting your sore knuckles. “But don’t worry. No one’s going to say anything. We’ve all been sworn to secrecy about each other’s soulmates. It’s a sort of unspoken law among clones.” 

“That’s sweet.” You say, captivated by his fingers as they gently massage your hand. 

“I’ll introduce you tonight during third meal.” He says. “When everyone’s back on board.” 

“Yeah, shouldn’t you be out enjoying your shore leave?” You ask. 

“I wanted to see you.” He says. 

You stare up at his face, at those big brown eyes. “You’re being all sweet on me now, making me nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous.” He soothes, wrapping his arms back around your waist. “I’m just a goofy guy who's never really talked to a woman before outside of a professional setting.” 

You stare at him open mouthed. “You’ve never...” 

He shrugs. “Never really wanted to.” 

You lean against his chest, wrapping your arms around him. “Well, you’re doing a good job.” 

He chuckles, the sound deep in his chest. “Thanks.” He holds you for a few moments before letting you go. “I’ll come by the lab and show you around later, okay?” 

You nod, a smile tugging at your lips. “Okay.” 

He swoops down, kissing your cheek before leaving you a bit flustered in the supply closet. 

***

Despite how close you two are, you barely get to see Kix. With the 501st constantly on the move, constantly going from one campaign to the next, you’re very busy and so is Kix. You mostly see each other in passing, or in the mess hall, or occasionally in a stolen moment in a supply closet. You only see him in the med bay twice, there usually for burns on your fingers, things you’ve become almost numb to in your years of working as a mechanic and engineer. 

You finally get a quiet moment to yourselves on a long journey from one side of the galaxy to the other. Well, it wasn’t exactly that far, but it was a long trip. You’re glad for the break, and glad for the quiet moment you get to spend with Kix. 

He tells you to meet him in the barracks, a place you hadn’t really explored much. You weren’t really supposed to go into the clone barracks, especially as a civilian unless it was an emergency. 

This was an emergency, you were about to go crazy from the longing to be close to him again. The GAR wouldn’t see it that way though. 

You’re extra careful, slipping in quickly as he waves you over from the door. It’s empty besides the two of you, Kix leading you over to his bunk. 

“How’d you get everyone to leave?” You ask, laying down and stretching out. They’re not any more comfortable than the civilian bunks. 

“I may have promised to buy the boys a couple extra rounds on our next shore leave.” He says, stretching himself out next to you. He’s stripped from his armor, left in his blacks. 

“Another unspoken clone law?” You ask, tracing your fingers over the muscles visible under the tight bodysuit. 

“Well, they know why I’m doing it.” He says, his hand settling on your waist. “I just figured you’d prefer some quiet privacy. They’d pretend to ignore us, but they’d be listening the whole time.” 

You hum, kissing him softly. “Then I thank you for your sacrifice of a couple rounds.” 

He grins against your lips, pulling you closer against his chest. “Just doing my duty, ma’am.” 

You pause for a moment, a tingle running down your spine as he calls you “ma’am.” You’ll have to lock that one away for later. He pulls you back to him, kissing you harder. You lose yourself in him, letting all of the stress and fear and emotions over the last few weeks go. You worried about Kix, every time they left on a campaign. You monitored comms as often as you could, for more than just your job of making sure everything was functioning. You waited anxiously to hear that Kix is alright, that he’s still alive and well. 

“How long do we have?” You murmur against his lips as he rolls you onto your back, settling on top of you. 

“An hour or so.” He says, lips leaving your lips to kiss down your jaw. 

“Is that going to be enough time?” You ask. 

He smirks against your neck, nipping at the skin. “I’ll make you cum at least twice before then.” 

You smirk, lifting your arms as he tugs your shirt over your head. “Is that a challenge?” 

“No,” He smirks, hands cupping your breasts. “It’s a promise.” 

You gasp as his lips close around one of your nipples, tugging it gently with his teeth. You’re already wet, your underwear sticking uncomfortably to you. You can feel him pressed up against your thigh, painfully hard through his blacks. You’ve both been waiting for this, eagerly anticipating this moment. You wish you had all the time in the world to do this, but you’re lucky enough to even get an hour of privacy together. 

You can’t wait for this war to be over with. 

He continues his kisses down your stomach, tugging your pants and underwear down. You let your legs fall open for him, his eyes staring hungrily at your soaked pussy. Your cheeks warm a bit as he stares at you, his eyes dark and lust-blown. His hands hold your thighs as he leans in, licking a stripe along your slit. You gasp at the sensation, his tongue dragging over your clit. 

You have to be careful not to make too much noise. Anyone walking past could hear, and with your luck it would be the wrong person. You’d get in so much trouble, both of you. 

You press a hand over your mouth as he dives right in, eating you like a man starved. He was, in a way. You had put this off far too long. You’d snuck a hand into your panties in the dead of night a few times while thinking of him, trying to take the edge off as you waited for the opportune moment. 

Nothing compared to the feel of him, though. 

His tongue thrusts into you, licking at your walls as his nose presses against your clit. You curse behind your hand, your other hand gripping the sheets under you. 

It doesn’t take you long to cum, his tongue lapping up every last bit of your orgasm. You’re close to overstimulated when he finally pulls away, face glistening in the low light of the barracks. You drag him up, kissing him deeply. He groans against your mouth, hips pressing against yours. 

You break the kiss to tug his blacks over his head, your hands trailing down his chest, feeling every ridge of muscle. Your fingers trace every little scar, every little mark. He tugs his pants down, kicking them off the end of the bed and your fingers continue lower, wrapping around his thick length. 

He presses his face into your neck, groaning as you work your hand over him. “Kriff, you feel so good.” He murmurs. “Better than I ever could.” 

You smile, parting your legs a bit so he can settle between them. “Isn’t that the point.” 

He leans up on his elbows over you, staring down at you. “You’re going to ruin me forever.” 

“That’s my job.” You say, lining him up. 

You bury your face in his shoulder as he eases into you, moving slowly. It’s a stretch, far bigger than you had anticipated. He pauses once he’s seated inside you, making you feel full and connected. You can feel it, the connection building between you two. There was no going back now. 

He slowly begins to rock his hips, holding onto you. You wrap your arms and legs around him, pulling him as close as you can. You can feel him deep in your very soul, the connection between you two solidifying. You’re two halves of one whole, one soul shared between two bodies. This was what you were meant for, not what the GAR forced you to do, hiding and keeping secrets. 

You wish the war would end. You wish you could steal him away, live a happy life somewhere free of war, free of the GAR, free of everything. A life happy together, where nothing has to be a secret, and you can take as much time as possible. Where you can shout your love for him as loud as you want. 

You use his shoulder to muffle your moans, his own groans muffled by your neck. You move seamlessly, meeting his thrusts. You’re already close again, the tautness of his body telling you he’s close too. 

“Cum for me.” He whispers, hitting that spot inside you over and over again. “Let me feel you.” 

You cum around him, nails digging into his back. He cums with a groan, emptying inside you. You lay still for a moment, simply breathing each other in. 

Kix leans up, kissing your lips before sliding down your body. You watch, leaning up a bit as he settles between your thighs once more. You can feel his cum starting to leak out of you, Kix watching for a moment before he leans in, closing his mouth around your pussy. You breathe out a curse, flopping back on the bed as he cleans you with his mouth. It’s unexpected and obscene as he slurps at your pussy, your skin burning. 

You can feel it, another orgasm approaching. You bite into the skin of your arm, keeping yourself quiet as he sucks at your clit, forcing you over the edge a third time. 

He laps at your folds for a few more seconds before sliding back up your body, gently tugging your arm free from your mouth. He soothes over the mark with his fingers. “You’ll want to clean that.” He says, so easily switching into medic mode. “Human bites can be very dangerous.” 

You roll your eyes. ��Yes, doctor.” 

He pauses, eyes widening as he stares down at you. You file that away too. He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I kept my promise.” 

You laugh against his lips. “You did. And a bonus.” 

“I did say ‘at least twice’.” He says, sitting up on the bed. “I’d make it a lot more than that if we had time.” 

You grin, sitting up next to him. “Save that for the next shore leave.” 

He smirks, patting your ass as you move to grab your discarded clothes. You wash up in the fresher, trying to make yourself appear like you hadn’t just been fucking a clone in the barracks. Kix puts his armor back on, checking both ways before you step out of the barracks. 

You walk closely, wishing you could hold his hand, but you know you can’t. You silently curse the GAR and their stupid rules. You can’t wait for this war to be over. 

You’re so close to the elevator when your names are called from down the hall, both of you freezing. You turn, eyes widening a bit at the sight of General Skywalker approaching. 

“G-General.” Kix says, standing up straighter. 

General Skywalker looks between you, crossing his arms. “What are you two up to?” 

“I was, uh, having some calibration issues with my helmet.” Kix quickly lies. 

“Uh huh. And you had to fix that in the barracks?” General Skywalker asks, crossing his arms. 

“Well, I needed to make sure it would connect with the others, and it was easier to just check it where they all were gathered, instead of disturbing them and making them come down to the lab.” You nervously explain. You know he doesn’t believe you. You’re absolutely screwed. 

“Right.” The General nods. “That’s very thoughtful of you, not wanting to disturb them.” 

“Yeah,” You nod. “They work so hard, they need all the rest they can get.” 

“I still have some work to do, so we were heading to the mess to grab some caf.” Kix says, trying to explain why you were now leaving together. 

“Very busy.” You nod, trying to make it as believable as possible. 

The General looks between you two for a moment before nodding. “Then I should let you get back to it.” 

You don’t relax, even as you turn to continue down the hall. Your shoulders are still tense, nerves running high. You had tried so hard not to get caught, and then here you were, getting caught by the General of all people. 

“You know,” The General says, making you two stop dead in your tracks. “That’s not a bad excuse.” You both turn, looking over your shoulders at the General. “I might have to use that some day.” 

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