mvltisstuff

[mvltisstuff]

honestly feel nothing but lost after this election

[mvltisstuff]

I read go home on the bus back from therapy and when I tell you it was like an outer body experience, like a slap in the face, in the best way possible ofc (I think I was the first one to like and rb when I was in the waiting room after reading it a little, then reading the rest on the bus home)

I just hope you're doing okay!!!

i’m really really happy that someone likes it!!! it makes my day when people submit feedback <3 i’m doing better, but be gentle with yourself 🤎🤎

[mvltisstuff]

go home - e.b

summary: why does she feel so lonely but constantly surrounded by people?

angst, fluff, tw for suicidal thoughts, depression, not having any idea why you feel such a way

a/n: hi all <3 i wanted to write this as a way to express my feelings recently, and also as a way to let people know they aren’t alone. please, please stay. text 988, please. someone out there loves you. the river may twist and turn, but it will always meet the sea. i’m sorry if this is a bit messy, but it’s something i wanted to express as i can recognize y/n.

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the second the alarm went off on her phone, y/n felt the equivalent to a million bees stinging her head. every single day was the exact same thing.

hit snooze.

sleep five more minutes.

wait until work ends.

the bed was freezing cold despite the man beside her. obviously, she felt a love for him that goes for light years, but why did it feel like a chore to show it?

buck and y/n had been together for years. they’ve taken their time with one another, slowly and precariously loving on the other. buck needed y/n like he needed oxygen. he knew her. he knew her like the clouds know the blue sky. he knew her like a flame knows gasoline. he knew her like his heart knows to beat.

he rolled over, hearing her alarm and feeling her body adjust to turn it off. he flung his arm around her upper body, pulling her tightly into him.

“i’m so tired.” she whispers, her morning voice peering through.

“i know,” he takes it as a joke, a temporary feeling of wanting to doze off again. “day off tomorrow, though.”

she didn’t think buck knew what she meant by tired.

she meant exhausted. she meant feeling like a car low on gas, but there’s no station around. she meant feeling like a ghoul had grabbed onto her head, squeezing tightly at all moments. she meant the sinking feeling in her chest that wouldn’t vanish.

finally, buck dragged his girl out of the bed and took her to work. he loved working with her, getting to keep an eye on her at all times. he knows that she’s safe when she’s with him.

y/n loved working with buck. she worked with all of her friends, and had the most rewarding career out there, as well as the hardest.

the losses on the job feel like a string being cut off the guitar. the losses feel like someone came in and plucked away more of the good in the world. there’s no avoiding the losses as a firefighter, but y/n doesn’t understand why she feels absolutely nothing.

she feels like a villain, just wanting to go home and forget about the entire day and the people she saved. she feels selfish and entitled, but she doesn’t have the energy to care, nor to fix the way she’s feeling.

therapy never worked for her, and she doesn’t have the schedule right now, anyway. she didn’t need therapy, at least she doesn’t think so?

not until the morning after her thoughts eat away at her about vanishing. y/n doesn’t want to die, she just wants everything to stop.

she feels like love is never coming for her, even though it’s right in front of her face, screaming at her to pay attention to it. she feels a lack of success and uselessness. there’s always someone better.

buck, as well as the rest of the 118 family, started noticing the symptoms. the classic ones, but also the more hidden ones. buck knew her, how could he not notice?

•

y/n came home from work, finally ready for her day off. she was looking forward to it all week, just thinking about the warm clothes she could slap on and the sleep she could fall into.

she was asleep when buck got home. he nudged it off as being tired, seeing how hard she works first hand. the next day, on her day off, she woke up past noon, took a nap, and was back asleep by 10. buck felt like she moved across the country by the time the next weeks followed.

he felt like he was in a war with himself and y/n’s sleep. he was pushing it away but it was still consistent. she didn’t want to go out for date night, or babysit jee. if he stayed at work longer, he’d come home to her asleep in their bed.

even when she was awake, buck had to ask himself,

did he know her?

•

when bobby cooks, you may as well clear your diet for the rest of the day. one plate was not an option, you’d be crawling back to the pot like it contained gold.

however, just one bite of food recently can make y/n feel like she’s gonna throw up. bobby makes her favorite dishes, but y/n had a distance from it.

they sat at the table, a calm break from the storms outside that were just a call away. y/n sat down first. she’d usually wait for buck to get his plate, but he didn’t mind.

“only one plate, y/n? never seen that before,” chim chimed in.

deep down, somewhere in her, y/n wanted to laugh. she had a voice clawing up in her to just crack a smile. alas, her brain suppressed it again.

“what, im not allowed to not stuff myself ‘til i faint?”

silence. forks stopped scratching against the plate. chewing stopped, even the slightest breath noises slowed. they’d never seen her eyes roll so far to the back of her head without a grin creeping after it.

“uh oh,” eddie adds. “someone’s not happy.”

god, she wanted to scream.

•

the profoundness of the loneliness in her body just dragged her down. it felt like a different foot every day that was going to lead to six. she yearned for people, but it was all she has.

she’s felt this way for far too long, and it’s getting old. she hates it. y/n wants the monster inside of her to be murdered. she can’t fill the deep void inside of her, but she wants it so bad. the depression, meanwhile also trying to diminish her, sapped her whole body and mind. it was a poison that y/n doubted would ever escape. the monster in her was here to stay. it grew stronger the more isolated she got, gaining control that would scare her to death. it was impossible to escape his suffocating grip around her and she didn’t have the courage to fight back on it.

y/n didn’t want to die, but she would let the monster take her away.

weeks passed, and nothing had changed. y/n and buck were two souls combined. he could feel everything happening to her like it was happening to him.

it was two a.m and y/n drove through a whole tank of gas. she went over city lines after telling buck she was going to run errands. errands gone a little long lost in thought. she sped down highways, thinking of swerving off. in certain moments, she would let her hands drift off the wheel and let it guide her.

a mix of fear and disbelief rushed through her veins as the black car sped up to her. y/n going fast wasn’t an invite for him to join. it pissed her off, bad. some random asshole just ruining her peace, which seemed like it always happened to her.

it wasn’t until her front bumper came in contact with the dodge’s rear that her mind had to snap back into itself.

buck waited up for her, regardless. he knew she would come home. y/n would never drop a love as special as that, no matter the fog in her head.

he heard the front door twist and unlock, the door creaking open. he stayed on the couch, waiting to see what she would do. he almost just ignored it, knowing she would just go to bed. but, maybe he didn’t know her.

y/n stood in her sweatpants and her 118 zip up, staring at buck with her hair thrown into a ponytail. “hi.”

“hey, beautiful,” buck replies, gently and his words graze her like a feather. but, the look on her face is nearly unfamiliar. it’s a whole new look of awakening. she looks more alive than he’s seen her in weeks. in contrast, the look on buck’s face contains pure alarm.

her chest rises and falls rapidly, like she’s trying to take in every breath she can. shes never felt this close to the end of her life before. a new fear was unlocked, a phobia of herself.

“i think, um,” she stares at the hardwood floor. buck walks up closer to her, his hands connecting with her forearms to steady her. “i think i need some help.”

“i know, baby,” he starts, rubbing her soft sweatshirt with his hands to warm her skin. “and im gonna help you. we’re gonna help you.”

“i don’t want to die anymore.” buck’s heart sinks into his toes hearing her say that. the woman in front of him, the one who his world revolves around, the one who may as well have her name carved into his back, was telling him she almost gave up.

he couldn’t help but well tears in his eyes, but he fought them back. he allowed her body to slump against his, as they stood in the dim walkway of their apartment.

to love someone is to fight their monsters.

[mvltisstuff]

the hottest thing a guy can ever do is love one direction

[mvltisstuff]

connection - oliver stark.

summary: oliver and y/n’s fragrance ad.

oliver stark x reader

warnings: alludes to sex, sexual tension, way too sexy, fingering

oliver and y/n had been working on a campaign for a couple weeks, the tv stars being the perfect pair to do the sexy shoot and become to ambassadors for the brand.

as usual, they were surrounded by cameras in a random filming location, white sheets under their bodies as y/n lay on top of oliver, her head against his chest and hers pressed against his abdomen.

she picked her head up lightly so her artist could edit her lip liner, and then placed it back down. oliver’s hand brushed over her scalp lightly, not wanting to mess up her hair.

y/n could feel his heartbeat with her ear pressed against his ribcage, the calm pounding that was made just for her. the cameras clicked in her face, and one of the directors handed oliver the cologne bottle.

she was instructed to lay flat, their legs intertwined as she props her chin up onto his torso. her hands were placed onto his sides, and oliver led his hands up and down her back. he held the bottle gently in his hands, using y/n’s back as the backdrop for the bottle. the camera shot from her shoulder blades to right above her tailbone. oliver threw the bottle to the side.

he placed his hand under her arm on her side to help her sit up, and then gently leaned her back against the perfectly set up pillows on the bed. you’d think she was almost incapable of moving on her own, the way his mind instantly went to helping her in the easiest tasks.

oliver had on a black pair of boxers, pulled down to his hips and contouring his sharp v-line. he placed his palm up against the lace of y/n’s lingerie bra, his fingers brushing against the side of the fabric. the corner of her mouth lifted up at him not even being able to control himself around people.

they handed y/n the perfume bottle next, her long nails clinking against the side of the glass. she gave it a few test sprays before oliver dove his face into her neck, brushing the hair behind her ear slightly. his hand was up toward her collarbones. her mouth slightly draped open, the sprayed a little onto the other side of her neck with her other hand buried into his loose curls.

oliver wanted to stay laying down for as long as possible, knowing he was fucked when he got up and everyone saw how hard he was. meanwhile, y/n was hoping she could cover up how turned on she got by him.

after several more shots that would just tease the couple even more, the director wrapped up the shoot and people started packing away their camera gear. y/n and oliver were led away to their shared dressing room, there only being one in the building.

y/n was the first to be in there, as oliver had stopped to talk to one of the film coordinators on the way. she stopped herself in the room in front of the mirror, grabbing her phone. she checked a few things before opening her camera.

she stood in front of the mirror, positioning her body to look the most appetizing that it could. she adjusted her curls and made sure to get a perfect angle to showcase everything the outfit brought out on her.

oliver nudged the door open, somehow managing to not make a noise when he saw his fiancée taking pictures in the mirror. her back was to the door, so he stepped up to her quietly.

once his back was almost touching hers, he smirked up at her in the mirror, admiring her focused face in taking the photos. his hands slipped around her waist, his fingers trailing against the soft skin. when she clicked her phone off, his hands slid up to her tits, giving them a good grip before burying his face into her neck, sucking intensely on the skin.

y/n let out a sigh as she turned around, her hand grabbing onto his hip as his scooped around her ass.

“you’re so pretty,” he whispered in her ear.

“that’s all you, baby.” y/n replies, and he leads her over to the couch in the room.

“i’ve been waiting to get you in here.” he smiled sweetly, despite the vigor behind his words.

“i can tell,” y/n joked, directing her vision to his crotch and bringing her hand down to just run over lightly, making him shiver under her touch.

“yeah?” he questioned, his body still hovering over hers. without hesitation, he dipped his fingers under the waistband of her cheeky panties, circling his fingers and collecting the wetness of her pussy. “i can tell, too.”

“shut up,” y/n laughs, pushing his hand down further. two of his fingers push into her, and he pulls them in and out at a steady face. he watches as her mouth drops, her pretty lips being the perfect landing spot for his.

he connects their lips together, a perfect rhythm between the two as she works on his bottom lip. she flips her tongue into his mouth as his fingers continue to work inside of her. he kept pumping them in and out before slipping them out. she moaned in disapproval, but couldn’t help but smirk when he licked his fingers clean in an instant.

“are you kidding me.” y/n props herself up on her shoulders, looking up at him. he leans down to kiss her, and she can taste herself on his soft, pink lips.

“just you wait, gorgeous.” his eyes practically paralyze her. his gaze was enough to stop the world from spinning and make him the only thing to exist. “just you wait.”

[mvltisstuff]

sneak peak?

[mvltisstuff]

his laugh after ryan’s turn. 🫠🫠🫠

tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue

[mvltisstuff]

sorry joe burrow lost but like YALL THE PATS ARE BACK MY NE HEART IS SO HAPPY ❤️💙

[mvltisstuff]

day 1. happy school szn everyone.

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

mvltisstuff is STRUGGLING chat

[mvltisstuff]

i’m high and have the courage to speak my mind.

i’m tired of the buddie ship. like oml

[mvltisstuff]

is it bad that i wanna do a 911 fic x smile movie… would yall eat that up or just me 😘

if i were, im torn between names for the fic too. i want it to be something from the soundtrack of the movie, so vote for my tops!

[mvltisstuff]

yall this clip of eddie actually makes me wanna bust a nut like WTF. PAPI SAVE ME

[mvltisstuff]

Here to send sprinkles and writers dust your way. Happy (fanfic) writers appreciation day. Thank you for writing all these incredible pieces for us all to read, for taking your time to create them and for simply being here 🩷✨️

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god!!!!! i’m actually speechless right now, i never ever thought people would think of someone like me this day, and it genuinely makes my heart feel so beyond full to know you guys appreciate what i write. thank you so so so much, and i hope you all know i think of my readers every day and every time i write <33

[mvltisstuff]

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

[mvltisstuff]

hii!! i hope you’re well :) i haven’t seen anyone write a fic for ravi panikkar (he deserves the whole world fr) so i’ve got a request hehe, if that’s okay?

could you write a fic where reader and ravi secretly like each other but are both too awkward to admit it so the 118 always tease them and try to set them up together? maybe in the end they both confess their feelings to each other after one of them gets badly injured when attending a rescue?

im soo sorry if this is too long and feel free to ignore this request if you’d like <33 thank youuu 🫶

suburban legends (pt.1) - r.p

summary: request

ravi panikkar x reader

a/n: thank you for the request, i hope this does it justice and you enjoy :)) This WILL have a second part!! i just wanted to get something out for u today :))

everyone knew that y/n and ravi were pretty much the baby siblings of the rest of the crew at the 118. they all got so attached to each other, but for some reason, ravi and y/n always managed to strengthen the distance between them. it was like a family photo, each of them on other ends.

y/n came into the picture a bit after ravi did, instantly clicking with everyone. she was incredibly bright for her age and being so new, so she was perfect to have on the team. ravi was quick and selfless, making him another must-have when bobby was looking for new probies. he could already envision y/n and ravi being just like buck and eddie, or chim and hen.

however, bobby’s ideas were slowed down by their stubbornness. as soon as y/n walked into the station, she got nervous whenever ravi was near. the first time she laid eyes on him, it was evident on her face that she had a little crush forming. ravi, too, kept asking bobby and his other coworkers questions about the new girl, but only getting teasing replies back. y/n and ravi, out of their own anxieties, would exchange a couple sentences a day, and they would be on calls. they seemed like strangers when out of uniform, and none of the team liked it.

they’ve been plotting small things for weeks to get them to talk to each other, like bringing the team out for drinks, or dinner after a call. none of it seemed to work, because they both found loopholes of how not to be surrounded by each other. in buck and eddie’s eyes, it seemed like ravi needed a pep talk.

“hey, ravi!” buck called, while walking besides eddie into the kitchen. ravi was at the table, eating leftovers from dinner the night before. it had been a slow day, so he took the time he had to eat. “we need some advice.”

“yeah, we’re getting old, we need to know what it’s like these days from a younger perspective.” eddie adds, sitting down across from ravi and buck copies.

“okay, with what?”

“so, we both like these girls, and,” eddie turns to look at buck, who nods along. “we need your advice on how to get them. you know, times are always changing and girls like different things now.”

“you guys aren’t even that old-“

“oh, ravi, please,” buck groans. “i feel my knees deteriorating every day and eddie found a grey beard hair the other day.”

“oh, go on, i guess.”

“anyway, this girl, she’s so smart, like amazingly smart.” eddie starts, thinking of ways to describe y/n. “she’s got these eyes that hunt me down and she always has her hair up nice.”

“and mine, she is always on time and never slowed down. she’s passionate and so gorgeous.” buck includes as ravi just shoves more food into his mouth.

“well, what does she do?”

“they’re both firefighters. we met them at the…” eddie starts.

“the bar.” buck finishes for him.

“i play hard to get.” ravi starts spilling, and buck and eddie lean in closer. “the less attention you give, the more they want you. it’ll make it more exciting when they start making more moves. but, you also don’t want to get too attached because she might not want a real relationship. people just want sex these days and i don’t want to make things awkward because we both work at the same station. putting a gap between the two of you works, but it feels like shit, but at least you’ll feel like shit together.”

“mhm, so just ignore her all the time and do everything i can to avoid her?” buck questions, squinting at ravi.

“no, not exactly-“

“isn’t that what you do though?” eddie replies.

“sorry?”

“we’re not dumb, panikkar. your big feelings for y/n are so obvious that it’s the only thing we talk about here these days. do you know how much money i’ve lost because of you two?”

“that’s true, i win all the bets.” buck chimes in.

“i don’t have feelings for-“

“don’t start lying to us now,” eddie sings.

“i’m not ly-“

“you’re lying!” buck sings in the same tone as eddie.

“i don’t really like you guys!” ravi says, putting his fork down.

“well, that doesn’t matter, because you like y/n and she fancies you.” buck tells him.

“wait, did she tell you that?” buck and eddie sigh at his excitement.

“she’s polishing the trucks and she needs an extra hand. and, buck and i, we just don’t want to. and bobby said we can tell you what to do.” eddie says.

“no, he didn’t.” buck hands ravi a cloth and jerks his head in y/n’s direction. “fine. but if this backfires, its on you.”

as ravi heads down the stairs, he stands next to y/n and tosses the rag around nervously. “figured i’d give you a hand.”

hen and chim, on the other engine, turn their heads and stare at the pair, but buck and eddie come back and remind them to not bother y/n and ravi. they were like deer, once you make too much noise they run away.

“oh, thanks,” y/n smiles. “this is my least favorite thing to do.”

“that’s how i feel with cleaning the kitchen, it’s so boring.”

“i don’t mind the kitchen, actually.”

“i’ve been putting it off,” ravi laughs, smearing more polish onto the red, shiny vehicle.

“i can go do it for you, if you want.” y/n offers. ravi does not want her to, because it feels like they’re actually going somewhere now.

“uh,” he hesitates. “sure! only if you want.”

“it’s no problem.” y/n grins and starts making her way upstairs.

buck and eddie come stand next to ravi, shaking their heads in disapproval at the way things just happened.

stuff like this continued to happen for days, ravi would get too close, and y/n would run off. he didn’t understand why she would get so nervous when he’d come around. he figured he’d just give up, no use in getting the girl when she doesn’t want it.

ravi finally thought he had her right where he wanted her. he went upstairs to help her in the kitchen, after taking his chore again to try and help. but, the alarm blaring through the station quickly paused things, like always.

[mvltisstuff]

literally, nothing brings me more comfort than the OG marvel fics… TO THIS DAY i’m reading the friends to lovers w peter, nat can’t cook, tony throwing random parties, having random powers and you can’t pry these fics out of my hands when im six feet under.

[mvltisstuff]

hello again, ignore that last request i sent in skfjjff i didn’t see that requests were closed💀💀 sorry about that!!

omg this actually reminded me!!!! requests are actually open right now and i forgot to switch it in my bio, im so so sorry about that and id love to do the request for you! <3