#he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit!
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martybaker · 3 days ago
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happy for Jayvik in general but it’s pretty funny to me that after witnessing the horrors of the Glorious Evolution and mage Viktor telling Jayce he’s the only one who can make Viktor change his mind about it, Jayce’s modus operandi is
shoot first, talk later
like he really put a hole through his boy in act 2 and only tried reasoning with him in act 3 finale
baby’s got the spirit but he got the order of the intervention steps a little confused 😂😂
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cosmicdahlias · 1 day ago
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Top Student
Ford Pines x Reader
MINORS DNI
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Professor Pines has seemed a little down lately. You stop by his office with the intention of raising his spirits, as well as… other things.
tags: professor ford au, teacher/student relationship, oral, multiple orgasms, biting, fdom/msub, bondage, praise kink, p in v, creampie
okay confession this is inspired by a crush i had on a teacher in my senior year of high school, dude was a total nerd but in like a hot way. i literally applied myself so hard for him that i finished top of the class, still got the medal to prove it lmao. i’ve always had a thing for well read older men and that ain’t ever changing!!!
You stood outside the door to your Astronomy professor’s office. As of late Professor Pines had seemed less like himself, appearing to be not nearly as engaged in his lectures. He covered the material just fine, but his passion for the subject matter just wasn’t there anymore. He always looked exhausted and worn out as well. Were it any other professor, you still would’ve cared, but there was an ulterior motive that led you to stand at his door. You gave a knock.
“Come in!” Professor Pine’s voice called from behind the door.
You opened it and took in the sight of his office. The room was softly lit by both a floor and desk lamp, giving the space a cozier feel than what overhead lighting could achieve. Well stocked bookshelves stretched to the ceiling and multiple PhD diplomas lined the walls, from what you’d heard he had accumulated at least twelve. His desk faced the window and a couch sat in the corner. You stepped into the room.
“Oh hello, y/n. What a pleasant surprise.” He said.
“Evening, professor.”
“Good evening to you too. Please, take a seat.”
You sat on the couch, it was almost far too nice for just an office. Professor Pines really went above and beyond to make sure his students were comfortable. He turned in his chair to face you.
“So, what can I do for you?” He asked.
“Well, to be blunt I’m a little worried.”
His brow furrowed in concern.
“I’m surprised to hear you say that. You’re doing incredibly well in my course. Don’t go spreading this around, but you’re top of the class. I promise you have little, if anything, to worry about.”
“No, I wasn’t talking about myself. I meant you, professor.”
He gave a confused chuckle.
“Forgive me, I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.”
You took a deep breath.
“You’ve just been so… sad lately. It’s subtle, but you seem distant during your lectures, like you’re just going through the motions. You look so exhausted too.”
Professor Pines fidgeted with his hands.
“I appreciate your concern, but I can assure you I’m doing just fine. I promise.”
You looked at him directly in the eyes.
“Professor…”
“I’m sorry, I really do value your worries, but the life of your professor isn’t something you need invest yourself in. You’re incredibly sweet, but seriously I’m fine.”
“I know depression when I see it, I wouldn’t be a good student if I didn’t care.”
He let out a long sigh.
“If I really cannot dissuade you, then alright. Just promise to keep this between us.”
“Of course.”
“Things haven’t been going well for me romantically. It seems to be one failed relationship after another. They start off great for a few weeks, or if I’m lucky maybe a month or so, but no one has seemed to enjoy my company long term. I’m not exactly romantically adept, so it’s more my own fault than them, but still I’m starting to lose hope of finding someone. I’m not getting any younger and at my age you become painfully aware of just how little time you have left in the grand scheme of things. It’s really starting to feel like loneliness might be it for me.“
“Oh, professor. I had my suspicions that it might’ve been something like this, but I’m so sorry.”
He gave a small, dejected smile.
“You know, I really thought I was doing my best to hide it. Foolish of me to assume that you, my top student, wouldn’t catch on with that intuition of yours. I apologize if it’s affected the quality of my teaching.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Oh goodness, no. You don’t need to do anything for me.”
“Are you sure?” You said, standing and coming close to him.
“Wh- what are you doing?”
“I suppose now is as good a time as any, but I’ve always found you attractive, Professor Pines.”
His cheeks turned a dusty pink.
“Um… I- ah- thank you. I’ve always thought you were incredibly attractive as well, but perhaps you shouldn’t be standing so close like that.”
You moved a hand to his chest, there was a slight firmness to it. You moved in closer, your lips brushing against his ear.
“I think I could benefit from some private instruction, don’t you?” You whispered.
His breath shuddered. You leaned down and kissed him, he moaned softly into your mouth before pulling away.
“N- no, this is wrong. I- we can’t do this. Look, you can sit back down and we can discuss anything pertaining to my class, or you can leave and I’ll see you for tomorrow’s lectu-“
You sat on his desk, spreading your legs and slowly pulling up your skirt.
“I know you want this as badly as I do.” You cooed.
“I can’t- oh dear god, you weren’t wearing anything underneath that skirt this whole time? Did you… plan this?”
“I just figured I could help out my favorite professor.”
You slipped a finger to your clit, Professor Pines watched intently.
“You’re so wet, is this because of me?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve touched myself to you.”
“I’ve seen a lot in my time, but someone as radiant and stunning as you with your hand between your thighs and dripping onto my desk for me is by far the least expected.”
“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, professor. Do you know how many people would throw themselves at a silver fox like you?” You purred.
Professor Pines moved himself out of his chair to stand in front of you, he cupped your cheek, kissing you passionately.
“If your flattery is a means to get me on my knees for you, I’d say you’ve won me over.” He said as he sank to the floor, his face level with your pussy.
He allowed his hot breath to linger on you for a moment before dragging his tongue up your dripping lips.
“You taste so good, sweetheart.” He said, his mouth finding your clit as you tangled your fingers in his hair.
Despite claiming to be romantically inept, he certainly wasn’t at pleasuring his lover. You had no idea what his past partners didn’t see in him, he could be as awkward as humanly possible, but his looks and skilled tongue would keep you cuffed.
He stopped for a moment and looked at you.
“How does that feel?” He asked.
You stroked his cheek.
“You’re so good for me.” You praised.
Your praise seemed to invigorate him, he returned his mouth and tongue to your clit, lapping at you furiously.
You felt yourself growing close and you tightened your grip on his hair. You moaned loudly as you came, bucking yourself against his face. He held your hips steady, keeping his mouth on you and making you cum again in record time. He refused to stop, not even allowing you to catch your breath before making you cum again and again until you lost count. Your ears rang by the time he removed his mouth.
“Holy fuuuuuck. You’re incredible, Professor Pines.” You panted, your final orgasm subsiding.
“Please, just call me Ford. After making you cum on my tongue that many times I think we’re past the need for formalities.” He said as he stood to kiss you.
“Well then Ford, how about we move this to the couch?” You said as your hearing fully returned to normal.
“But of course, sweetheart.”
He picked you up underneath your thighs and sat on the couch with you straddling his lap. You felt his hard cock press against you through his pants as you kissed him passionately, pulling down the turtleneck of his maroon sweater. You were about to bite his neck when you noticed a cartoonish tattoo of a smiling star giving a double thumbs up with the words “Hey now, I’m an all star.” You failed to stifle a laugh.
“What is it?” Ford asked.
“Nothing.”
You bit down on him, he gasped.
“Oh god, no one has ever done this to me before. People my age aren’t nearly as adventurous.” Ford whimpered.
You laughed again.
“You think that’s adventurous? Let me ask you something, have you ever been dominated before?”
He blushed hard.
“I- no, never. My partners have always preferred I take the dominant role.”
You kissed him deeply, biting his lower lip as you pulled away.
“I’m about to blow your mind, Stanford Pines. Now lie back.”
He followed your command, shifting himself to lay on the couch with you still on top of him.
“You ever had someone tie you up before?” You asked.
He looked away, embarrassed.
“…Not in a sexual way.” He mumbled.
You raised an eyebrow.
“Just what were you doing before you became a college professor?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Guess I’ll just have to fuck the information out of you.” You teased.
“You drive a hard bargain, my dear.”
You unbuckled his belt, pulling it free from his pants. You pinned his arms above his head, looping the belt around his wrists and fashioning it into handcuffs.
“How’s that, not too tight?” You asked.
“No, it feels snug.”
“Good.”
You let your hands travel to his pants, unzipping them and pulling out his cock.
“Goddamn, your previous partners are idiots. Who would pass up a cock like this?” You said, giving him a few strokes.
“Mmmnn, your hand feels so good.”
“I think I know something that’ll feel even better.”
You moved yourself to hover over his cock, slowly sinking down his length. He throbbed as you reached the base of his shaft. You looked down at him and smirked, staying still.
“Y- you can’t just sit there with my cock inside you and not move. Don’t tease me like this.” Ford whimpered.
“I need to hear you tell me how much you want this.”
“Please, I need you.” He said as he frantically attempted to buck his hips.
You pulled yourself off of him.
“No no no, please no, you can’t stop now.” He whined pitifully.
You cupped his chin, your thumb stroking his lips.
“You have to beg. Tell me just how badly you need your top student to fuck you.” You commanded.
“Oh god, please y/n. I need you. I fucking NEED you. Ever since that first day you walked into my class I’ve desired you so intensely. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to stroke myself because I lay awake at night thinking of you. I’ve even touched myself in the lecture hall between classes after seeing you sit in the front row in those little skirts, crossing and uncrossing your legs, your panties just barely visible. I’ve never longed for someone the way I have for you. Please fuck me, I can’t take much more of this.”
“Ugh you’re adorable when you beg, music to my ears.”
You took his full length back inside you, he let out a loud gasping moan as you began to lift and drop your hips.
“Thank you, dear Moses thank you. You feel so good, s- so warm and tight.” He shuddered.
You slipped your hands under his sweater to his nipples, pinching and tugging them. He was a mess of moans and whimpers.
“You like that, smart guy?” You purred.
He looked up at you in surprise.
“Did I say something?” You asked.
“No, I just- it’s funny, you’re not the first person to call me that, but I like it far better coming from you than I did him.”
“That’s my good boy.” You purred.
You felt him throb hard inside you.
“Nnngh, no one has ever said that to me before. Your praise alone could make a man cum.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
You gripped his shoulders, moving your hips to fully slide him out and back in over and over. Your name left his lips with a moan and he looked up at you, eyes full of pure lust.
“Oh god, just like that. Don’t stop, don’t ever stop.” He whined.
“So needy, you’re doing such a good job for me.”
You felt him throb repeatedly as his moans and whimpers increased in volume and prevalence.
“I’m so close, m- may I cum in you? I need to know what it’s like to fill you with my seed. Please, y/n.” Ford begged.
“Very good, handsome. I didn’t even have to tell you to beg. That alone deserves to be rewarded.”
You picked up your speed and felt the pulse of his cock one final time as he came deep inside you. He bucked his hips, trying his hardest to go as far in you as he could.
“Y- you’re s- s- so incredible.” He stuttered.
“And you make for one hell of a ride, handsome.” You purred, stroking his cheek.
You pulled yourself off of him and he looked down, his and your cum had completely stained the front of his pants.
“Oh god, we’ve made a mess.” He said, putting his hand to his forehead.
You giggled at the sight of him.
“Don’t laugh, you’re wearing a skirt, you can get away with it.” He groaned.
“Sorry, I just like the idea of leaving you with a little reminder of myself.”
Ford took your hand.
“You really are amazing, sweetheart. No one has ever come close to feeling like you.” He whispered.
“Yeah? How would you like to do this again sometime?”
“R- really?” He asked.
“Oh without question.”
“Then by all means, feel free to stop by tomorrow. Perhaps you could let me see you sans clothes next time.”
“Good boy, sounds like a plan.” You said, leaning down to kiss him.
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acebytaemin · 4 months ago
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lino explaining the concept of evolution
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chanafehs · 3 months ago
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cullen: i hear people say salman i like him to each other all the time here, who is salman? is he famous?
IM CRYIFNJSJSKW
Please you just reminded me of this
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andisupreme · 3 months ago
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At the company retreat, one extremely drunk girl asked what my pronouns were. (Eventually, it took her a while to word the question.) After the whole conversation was done, she goes- "YEAHHH GURL, Get on with--with THY bad self! See what I did?? They/them/thy."
I was almost holding back tears from trying not to laugh as I told her yes that's great you nailed it honey. Thank you very much I am feeling the love.
Anyway I've been assigned Thee/Thine at Supportive Drunk Girl
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glitter-stained · 6 months ago
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Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?
Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.
Goon: Huh.
***
Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?
Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...
Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.
***
Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...
Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?
Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.
Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.
***
And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.
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divorcedtom · 3 months ago
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE S1E2 + S2E7
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d0d0-b0i · 2 years ago
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had to add to this
someone mentions wanting water and Silver dramatically sighs and starts digging
A WELL?
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longdaytogo · 1 year ago
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taking your wizard boyfriend out on a muggle ride
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adobe-outdesign · 11 months ago
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confused but well-meaning Alakazam that overhead that its trainer didn't "have enough spoons to do the laundry today" and now keeps spawning in dozens of literal spoons to try and help them out
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mickules · 5 months ago
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Happy Pride?
---
[♥] [♥]
Another entry in Taka's accidental adventures in insulting people.
As someone who has an allergy to face-paint I have to duck and weave when folk bring out the rainbow face-paint sticks at pride, and I always have the urge to justify myself...
But no one believes you if you say something like 'I swear, I'm not honophobic! I just have an allergy!'
an "Allergy" indeed...
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31n13 · 2 years ago
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Action Comics #8
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mumblesplash · 2 years ago
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mean gills + nosy neighbors = gossip squad
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clementine221b · 9 months ago
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one thing that this little gay kitty oncologist is going to do is LIE. even though he knows house will take the extremest of measures to try and find out what he’s upto??? but he can’t help himself?? i don’t understand him but i love him.
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honeymilkbubbletea · 4 months ago
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He's a little confused but he's got the spirit
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samijey · 30 days ago
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- I told Sami he wasn't family… - Well, he's not.
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