#he would never come for your appearance because he can see your inherent beauty

[princessasmosprincess]

Everyone forgets that one of Asmo's skills is that he can find beauty in anyone ♡

[1425fivefive]

hi im feeling a little bold so

for the kink prompts, if you could something that ressembles multiple orgasms/overstim and/or inexperienced partner with norstappen I would be forever thankful,,, !!

I'd like to see what you come up with! (happy holidays?) <3

i... actually don't know what came over me while writing this. this is a grab bag of kinks from the list including: inexperienced partner, virginity, piercings, and multiple orgasms/overstimulation. also lando has a small dick for no reason (cw: inherent power imbalance because max is a king and lando's his consort in an arranged marriage) (for the kink prompt asks)

Max stops short as he enters Lando’s bedchamber, stunned by the sight that greets him.

Lando’s kneeling in the middle of one of the plush rugs, head bowed, the slim golden crown Max placed on him during the wedding ceremony that morning still nestled in his curls. Lando’s skin is scrubbed clean, glistening with whatever oils the servants rubbed on him, and he’s naked except for the gold metal bars through each of his nipples, a jeweled piercing dangling from his navel. Max knows Lando’s people think piercings are a mark of great beauty, almost unbearably erotic, but Max had foolishly assumed he wouldn’t feel any type of way about them. Seeing them like this, though, delicate and feminine on Lando’s slim, strong form, Max can already feel his cock hardening.

Max drags his eyes down between Lando’s legs, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight of the small cock dangling there—smaller, probably, than Max’s thumb. Max knows small cocks are highly favored when selecting consorts, believed to be a sign that the consort will never pose a threat to the king, and Max is sure the advisors he sent to find his new spouse must have been delighted when they saw Lando’s tiny cock. Max has never cared all that much for old wives' tales, but his mouth waters at the thought of sucking Lando between his lips.

Like this, on his knees, naked and obedient, glittering and golden, Lando looks every bit the perfect consort.

But when Max takes a step into the room, Lando looks up, fear flashing in his eyes.

Max stops, cocking his head, studying Lando. Finally, Max asks, voice soft, “Are you enjoying your chambers?”

“Oh, I—” Lando trails off, blinking at Max with wide eyes. “Why do you care?”

That startles a laugh out of Max but Lando flinches, and Max immediately sobers, watching Lando carefully.

“Lando,” Max says gently. “You’re my spouse.”

Lando frowns, clearly confused. “But you’re—you’re the king.” His eyes drift to the floor. Max can barely hear him as he says, “I thought you would simply want to—fuck me.”

Max’s chest aches at the idea of mounting Lando like an animal, uncaring of whether Lando wants it, Lando’s pleasure. “No, Lando, I—” He frowns, trying to work out the right thing to say.

Finally, Max says, “I have many bed partners. If you do not wish to share my chambers, I will not force myself on you.”

It’s true. Max has never lacked for willing men and women to share his bed, and he’ll respect Lando’s wishes if Lando wants to keep their marriage purely political. Lando was only chosen, after all, because Max needed an alliance with Lando’s people. Max knows no one would look askance if the two of them did not share a bedchamber.

Lando’s looking at him with a stunned expression, eyes wide. “You would be alright with that? With not—bedding me?”

“Yes,” Max says, forcing himself to hide any disappointment he might feel. “You’ll have these chambers to yourself and be able to move freely about the grounds. You won’t have to see me apart from formal appearances.”

Lando blinks at him, mouth dropping open.

Max thinks about simply leaving, letting Lando clean the oil off himself and prepare himself for bed. But there’s something in Lando’s expression, something—hungry, that makes Max pause.

Max knows Lando has never been touched before. Max’s advisors informed him that Lando’s people selected him as a potential future consort to a king at age eleven, raised him in a secluded manor house along with a few other candidates. Lando was kept in a chastity belt—Max’s advisors confirmed that Lando’s never been touched, by himself or anyone else.

Max can’t help but wonder if Lando even knows how to touch himself. If perhaps he was never taught how to find his pleasure. Max would teach him. He would teach him gladly, show him exactly how much pleasure his body can feel. He wants to trail his hands over Lando’s sensitive nipples, get his mouth on Lando’s sweet little cock, show Lando how good it can feel to be fucked. 

But Max needs it to be Lando’s choice.

“If you would like,” Max says, softly, carefully, “I could show you how a man takes pleasure in another man.”

Lando takes a shuddering breath and Max flushes when he notices Lando’s tiny cock starting to harden, still unbearably small.

“Would it—feel good?” Lando whispers, still on his knees, still looking up at Max.

“Yes,” Max says simply. “So good, Lando.”

Lando makes a small noise, almost a whimper. His nipples are puckered and hard, pushed out from his chest by their piercings, a bead of wetness sitting on the tip of his cock. Max wants to lick it off.

But he waits, watching Lando carefully. If Lando says no, he’ll leave.

Lando lets out a shaky exhale, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He blinks up at Max and whispers, “Show me.”

Max’s cock throbs in his trousers, and he brings his hands to his jacket, fingers shaking as he starts to undo the buttons. “Get on the bed,” Max orders, voice strained.

Lando goes obediently, stretching the long line of himself out on the sheets, watching Max carefully as Max approaches the bed, shedding the rest of his clothes.

When Max climbs onto the mattress, sliding between Lando’s legs, Max is stripped bare, his cock thick and hard.

Lando glances down at it, letting out a distressed little whimper, and whispers, “Big.”

Max’s cock throbs, but he laughs, softly. “It’s not,” he murmurs, because it isn’t. It’s perfectly average. “I think yours is just small.”

Lando flushes, opening his mouth to protest. 

Max smoothes a hand over Lando’s thigh. “It’s alright,” Max says softly. “I like it.”

With that, Max bends down to suck Lando’s cock into his mouth.

Lando’s entire body seizes up, mouth dropping open on a silent cry. When Max drags his tongue over the head, lapping up Lando’s pre-come, a shiver runs through Lando and he lets out a sweet little, “Oh,” body twisting, hands flying up to grab at his stomach, his pecs, his nipples.

“You can come whenever you feel like it,” Max murmurs, pulling off, breath ghosting over Lando’s spit-slick cock. “Want to make you feel good.”

Lando whimpers, blinking down at Max. “I haven’t—I don’t—” He breaks off on another whimper, looking at Max with a helpless expression.

“Fuck,” Max groans, pressing a kiss to Lando’s little dick, startling a moan out of Lando. “You’ve never come before?”

Lando lets out a desperate whine, but he shakes his head.

“God, that’s—” Max doesn’t say anything more, just sucks Lando’s cock back into his mouth, dragging sharp little cries and moans from Lando’s shivering form.

Lando seems to be getting closer, back arching off the bed, thighs trembling, wetness spilling onto Max’s tongue.

“Max,” Lando gasps, and Max moans at the sound of his name in Lando’s mouth, at the sight of Lando coming undone under his tongue. “Max, please—oh—it’s too—” Lando breaks off on a gasp, hips fucking up, his cock so small that it’s still barely anything in Max’s mouth.

Lando’s crying out, shivering and trembling, face scrunched up. “It’s too much,” he whimpers, still thrusting frantically into Max’s mouth. “Max, I can’t, it’s—”

Max ignores him, just sucks hard on Lando’s cock, moaning when Lando’s whole body draws tight, his stomach shuddering, the piercing in his navel jangling with each panting breath.

“Oh,” Lando gasps. “Oh, it’s—” He goes utterly silent, back arching high off the bed, head tossed back. Max licks over the head of Lando’s cock, watching Lando closely, wanting to see the exact moment Lando falls apart for the first time, wanting to watch as Max is the first person to bring Lando to his peak.

Lando’s hovering right on the edge, silent and tight, brows drawn together, like he wants to come, needs to come, but doesn’t know how to find it. Max slides a hand up Lando’s stomach, up to his chest, and brushes a thumb over the dusky bud of Lando’s nipple.

Lando falls apart with a sharp cry of Max’s name.

Max moans at the taste of Lando flooding his mouth, whines at the sight of Lando shivering and shaking against the mattress, body writhing and twisting as he rides out his orgasm. Lando doesn’t seem capable of words beyond a desperate chant of Max’s name, his hands flying down to fist in Max’s hair, dragging Max tight against him, riding his orgasm out in Max’s mouth.

“Please, Max, I can’t—oh.” Lando breaks off on a moan, cock spilling a little more into Max’s mouth, and he trembles through it, thighs twitching like he wants to close his legs, push Max away, overwhelmed by the pleasure Max is dragging out of him.

Even after Lando finally stops coming, Max stays where he is, letting Lando’s cock soften in his mouth. He thinks he’d be content to stay between Lando’s legs forever, make Lando come over and over again on his tongue, learning all the noises of pleasure Lando makes.

Eventually, Max makes to pull away, intending to give Lando a respite.

But Lando’s hands tighten in Max’s hair, stopping him from going more than a few centimeters.

“Can you—again?” Lando whispers, looking at Max with a desperate expression.

Max realizes that Lando’s asking Max to suck him again, and Max gazes up at him, awed. “Most men need a break between orgasms,” he murmurs, pressing an apologetic kiss to Lando’s thigh. “It’s too sensitive usually.”

Lando whimpers, but he says, “Could you—try?”

“Lando,” Max breathes, huffing a laugh. He strokes his thumb over Lando’s nipple again, smiling indulgently up at him. “Greedy little thing, aren’t you?”

Lando flushes.

Max doesn’t say anything more, just brings his lips to Lando’s cock. Lando’s clearly oversensitive, whimpering and shivering, twitching toward and away from Max’s mouth. But he doesn’t ask Max to stop, doesn’t do anything except whine Max’s name and, before long, spill against Max’s tongue with a frantic moan. This time, Max doesn’t stop once Lando’s done, just keeps sucking him until Lando’s shaking like a leaf, coming for a third time with a pitiful whimper, spilling a tiny amount of come that Max swallows greedily.

Once Lando’s shuddering and begging Max to stop, hands shoving at Max’s head, Max finally lets Lando slip from his mouth. Lando’s little cock looks even smaller, soft and spent, covered in Max’s spit.

Max moans at the sight, but murmurs, “We can be done.” He presses a kiss to Lando’s lower belly, heat rushing through him when Lando whines Max’s name. “You’ve been so good,” Max adds. “Perfect.”

Lando takes a shaky breath, looking down at Max with hooded eyes. “Is there—I’ve heard that there is—more.”

Max laughs. “Yes, there’s lots more. But it can wait.”

But Lando shakes his head. “I want you to take me,” Lando whispers, looking terrified and determined all at once. “I want you to take me like a—like a king takes a consort.”

“Fuck,” Max groans, hips hitching against the mattress, cock throbbing at Lando’s words. “You would want that?”

“Yes.” Lando swallows, throat bobbing. “Please, Max.”

Who is Max to deny his consort?

Lando’s impossibly tight when Max slips the first finger in him, staring at Max with wide, shocked eyes. But Max takes Lando’s cock in his mouth again and soon Lando’s relaxing, letting Max slip a second finger in. When Lando starts moaning and whimpering, rocking back against Max’s fingers, Max knows he’s ready.

Max rolls them over, ending up on his back with Lando hovering above him, looking down at him with parted lips and lust-dark eyes. The crown’s long since slipped from his curls.

“Like this, I think,” Max murmurs, running his hands down Lando’s sides. “It will have to be your choice,” Max continues.

Lando’s eyes go wide. “Max,” he whispers.

 “You will have to choose,” Max says softly, running his fingers up to Lando’s nipples, playing with the tiny buds, “if you want to offer yourself up to me.”

Lando moans, a jagged, desperate thing, and Max already knows what he’ll choose. Knows it even before Lando reaches behind himself for Max’s cock, knows it before Lando lines Max up, knows it before Lando starts sinking down onto Max’s cock, taking his own virginity, giving himself up to Max.

“God,” Max moans, watching Lando struggle to take him, sinking slowly down his cock. “Look at you.”

Lando whimpers, sinking down a little further. He’s still hard, Max notices, even as he bites his lip, eyes squeezing shut.

“Good boy,” Max breathes, and he rests his hands on Lando’s hips, helping him on his way. “That’s it, good boy.”

Finally, finally, Lando’s in his lap, Max buried inside him to the hilt.

“Move,” Max murmurs. “Fuck yourself on my cock.”

Lando lets out a desperate sob but he starts to move, riding Max hesitantly, carefully, barely moving at all. Max shuffles them up the bed a bit so that Max is sitting up against the headboard, upright enough that Max can free one of his hands to toy with Lando’s nipples, marveling at how sensitive they seem to be with the piercings.

“Max, please,” Lando whines, grinding on Max’s cock. “You have to—I’ll come.”

Max moans, cock twitching inside Lando. “Good, baby,” Max says, voice strained. “I want you to come.”

Lando sobs at that but he keeps fucking himself on Max’s cock, letting Max play with his nipples, the piercing in his navel bouncing as he rides Max.

“Max,” Lando sobs, rim going impossibly tight around Max's cock. “Max, please, fuck, I can’t—”

“Come, baby,” Max murmurs, leaning forward to press his tongue against Lando’s nipple, sucking the metal bar between his teeth.

It’s enough to have Lando stuttering to a halt in Max’s lap, crying out Max’s name. His cock spills a few meager drops of come onto Max’s stomach, rim fluttering weakly around Max, Lando sobbing above him as he comes for the fourth time.

Max doesn’t know how he hangs on, but the moment Lando’s finished coming he rolls them over, Lando on his back underneath Max, face wet with tears.

Max panics for a moment, starting to pull out, but Lando shakes his head frantically, wrapping his legs around Max.

“Please,” Lando begs, crying harder. “Need you to come in me, please, Max.”

Max groans and gets his hands on the backs of Lando’s thighs, pressing them up, fucking him hard and deep, watching Lando cry and beg underneath him. Lando might come again at some point, tensing up underneath him, but he’s been wrung dry, his cock twitching rapidly, nothing coming out. He’s too fucked out to even try to clench around Max, can’t do anything except lay there weakly, worn-out pants of Max’s name.

It’s the sight of Lando coming for a fifth time that pushes Max over the edge and he shoves inside Lando with a deep groan, coming so hard he’s dizzy with it.

After, he pulls Lando on top of him, pressing kisses to Lando’s curls, running his hand over Lando’s back, awed by the man in his bed.

“If you want,” Max murmurs, “we can still have separate bedchambers.”

Lando picks his head up, looking down at Max with an outraged expression. “Why?” Lando snaps. “Why would we not do this every night?”

Max barks out a shocked laugh. “Every night?”

“Fine,” Lando says, giving him a small grin. “Every other night.”

“Every other night,” Max agrees, and pulls Lando in for a slow, soft kiss.

[hibiscusel]

it’s upsetting to me that despite setting up each league member to have a specific and beautiful depiction of the ignorances of hero society in their own way, the story never really considers their words at all in making change for the betterment of said society. these are my thoughts regarding the conclusion of the villains, by each character…

shigaraki’s entire character boils down to the fundamental message of society, both heroes and civilians, ignoring the downtrodden who are in dire need of saving, just because it’s inconvenient for them. shigaraki represents those downtrodden people - the neglected children, the poor, the desperate. he represents that criminals are made, not born. yet, despite the beautiful set up we had with his entire being paralleling izuku’s, his monologue during his fight with endeavour, and him deliberately stating he needs to be a hero for the villains, this is just thrown to the side in the end. izuku didn’t save anything when it came to shigaraki even though he vowed to do so when nana shimura asked him if he had the ability to kill her grandson. he said he wouldn’t, but that’s what happened in the end, isn’t it? was the crying child within him who dreamed of being a hero not enough to communicate his humanity to the heroes? in the end he was just a small boy, remaining neglected by the people who were meant to hold his hands and save him. he didn’t even get to reconnect with the other league members - his dear family, in the end. kurogiri had said, his friends were waiting for him.

toga represented the rejection of people with unconventional quirks and how she’s punished for just being who she is. she can’t help who she is. in the bnha society, since her quirk isn’t glamorous or conventional, she is looked down upon and immediately labelled inherently evil for acting upon her desires. nobody in her previous life tried to understand her, not even her parents, as they resorted to counselling in hopes of suppressing her over helping her. and yes, ochako did understand her in the end which can somewhat serve as closure for toga because her love was returned, it’s still unfortunate that only ochako will understand her and nobody else. society will go on judging people with said unconventional quirks without hesitation, not taking the time to understand how hard it is to be shunned over something out of your control.

speaking of the view of differing quirks, it brings us now to spinner and his mini-arc of fighting for the visibility and acceptance of heteromorphs. we literally see the existence of cult groups in the story that are against the existence of heteromorphs in society because of their appearance. my complaints are mainly directed at horikoshi for fumbling the concept of discrimination and fighting for the liberation of the oppressed, especially since it directly reflects concepts of racism, colourism, and alienation in real life. although, i would be lying to say it isn’t a somewhat realistic depiction of how fighting for rights is widely frowned upon. in order to make change come about, society must be disrupted. that is exactly what spinner did in the end, and was met with shoji and koda telling him he must sit and wait peacefully for change to come about - which we all know does nothing in the long run. it’s so upsetting to me that spinner, the one who is undoubtedly the closest to shigaraki within the league, had the outcome he did. he had so much compassion for his cause in bringing about stain’s will, and it just hurts seeing his moment watered down to his nomufication and demonization of the heteromorph revolution.

then of course, is dabi. his entire drive was to prove how terrible of a person endeavor is, and how contradictory it is that someone like him saves people for a living. dabi is an embodiment of all of endeavor’s sins, coming back to put him in his place. however, in dabi’s conclusion with all his family members being there when he nearly combusted, endeavor’s words of atonement (i’m using this word very lightly because what really did he atone for anyways) will never be heard by the greater society. all the civilians will understand is that endeavor brought down his estranged villain son. people will most likely move on from the fact that he abused his family in order to focus on his ‘bringing down’ of dabi (which honestly was all on shoto’s part) and ultimately saving the day. people will not take dabi’s existence as a catalyst for critical thought into who exactly they call heroes and question the integrity of heroes - what are the kind of people that save them.

speaking of questioning the integrity of heroes, this leads into stain. i don’t have too much to say about him but i think it was stupid to just have afo kill him. he wasn’t a villain, he was a vigilante. i think it was such a waste of his character to just have him show up in the story, get jailed, and then have one interaction with all might. i feel he could’ve done so much more with communicating his cause to society, and in reaching regular civilians rather than sparking a flame in the hearts of some villains such as spinner. what a shame. what a waste.

also, i want to mention twice. i loved twice so much, he definitely stuck with me. i thought the concept of “all it takes is one bad day” was such a perfect thing to include for a villain character. his entire life was changed for the worse over a motorcycle accident when he was a teenager. though living in his loneliness which was ultimately destroying him, he had met the league. the members of the league, especially toga, served not as a stepping stone to use and swing his life around in that way, but simply as friends. a family, that he found a place in despite everything else that had gone wrong for him. he had this one thing going for him, and he was abruptly torn away from it with the touch of a feather. he wasn’t even asking for much, he had just found his people - his place in the society that rejected him over a very human mistake, where he could live as himself. and to top it all off because apparently that wasn’t bad enough, shigaraki doesn’t even know he died - and if he did, there was nothing shown for it. another fumble by horikoshi.

tldr; what pains me the most in all of this, is that not only are all the league’s reasons for fighting wholly overlooked by the heroes, but none of what they stood for is going to be considered in the end for reconstructing a just society. their words, their pains, and their dreams are all going to be brushed aside in preference for society simply celebrating their deaths and incarceration. because in the end, all the humanity within themselves that they bared to the world in their fight is going to amount to nothing to people who just wanted them gone. nobody is there to mourn them.

and it hurts so bad.

[araneitela]

I want to make a little note of something for my portrayal of Kafka, especially because I see it butting its head around the corner on multiple platforms for Blade, which means that the refreshed assumptions for Kafka aren't far behind.

Kafka is not maternal. Kafka is not parental. Nothing tells me that she'd fill ANY sort of familial 'guiding' role for Firefly in any familial sense. And if she would, we would likely have seen it manifest in even the slightest of ways around Silver Wolf, but we never did, not even a glimpse. Outside of that, characterizing Kafka as parental or, specifically, maternal in any capacity, to me is a fiercely wrong reading of her character. Kafka's empathy and moments of care seem to, quite honestly, be dabbling in something akin to romanticism (note that with this I'm not proclaiming automatic romantic nature across the board), rather than anything inherently familial. It's very specific, and while her tone is often rather saccharine, even that I think is often massively overplayed. Now while I don't play into the 'she has lessened emotion(s)', I do think she is more selective in what catches her interest, which is dictated by very specific things, and 'emotions' aren't one of them. Firefly coming across as relatively insecure/uncertain, shy or whatever terminology people want to use for her, will not find any empathy in Kafka, and it will not soften her for her in any capacity. And actually during a specific exchange with Blade, something was said that I want to build on (putting this under a read more now, even if it's earlier on in 2.2's content) as something that will/would add to her reactions to Firefly that are inherently important:

Blade: In half a system hour, it will lead us to Kafka, and then comes the downfall of the Jepella Brotherhood. Firefly: Is that also part of the script? Blade: It's in your script, too. Firefly: Sorry, I didn't notice. Blade: Their destiny won't change just because of your selective ignorance.

After speaking rather at length about this with my Blade, I agree that he doesn't exactly sound thoroughly... thrilled during this bit of their exchange in particular. And honestly, one can even quite easily go to the extent of saying that he sounds rather snippy towards her, especially at the words 'selective ignorance' (all in all, those chosen words themselves already aren't exactly kind). And quite honestly, it makes perfect sense that he sounds this way, for going off-script or entertaining the possibility thereof, as a Stellaron Hunter, is a big no-no. This isn't just Elio's vision and they're forced puppets on strings without free hill, no no, the beautiful thing about the Stellaron Hunters is that while they may each have their own personal reasoning for accepting to take orders from Elio: they do so devotedly of their own accord. It is, in all ways, their choice. But the script is the script, and deviating from it may not only endanger the future that is chosen, but it can directly endanger one of the other hunters. So going off-script is worthy of no 'warm fatherly correction' (don't get me started on how Blade isn't parental/paternal at all either, but Lauri said it already), it's actually worthy of being chided over, which is exactly what he's doing. In turn Kafka, who is canonically noted to be Elio's right-hand, would be no kinder whatsoever. She has commented on moments that appear to be off-script at the beginning of the game, and you can hear a very clear semblance of annoyance in her voice, and that was simply something a little unexpected (and if memory serves, SW notes that it isn't an off-script moment), imagine if one of the other hunters actively decided to go off-script, I don't think there would be anyone to chide you over it more, than Kafka herself. This entire exchange, if it had been between Firefly and Kafka herself, would have easily been even snippier, along with an active tone of annoyance.

Kafka isn't parental, Kafka is only very selectively one that can fill a 'guiding' role (specifically the TB, but even that I don't like to classify under that kind of behavior), but she most certainly is not a supportive, 'mother-like', 'awww, you poor thing', and forgiving woman. She isn't cruel, but they have a job to do, alongside others. You don't endanger the mission, and you don't endanger the ones who're part of it with you. This is non-negotiable.

[the-lunar-library]

TO THE RAVENS

Alexandros the Peregrine, a dashing, cutting, irreverent prophet with a tame god.

When it comes to the inspiration for this character, that's easy: He's based on the real life prophet Alexander of Abonoteichos, the subject of Lucian's famous essay “Alexander the False Prophet”. But Lucian fans will also notice some references to Peregrinus, a lesser known but still colorful prophet whom Lucian also skewered on the end of his stylus. They're both interesting figures, and it was a lot of fun combining them into my Alexandros, the second most important character in the novel.

Read more to learn about this very pretty trickster.

Out of all of the characters, Alexandros most closely mirrors his real life counterpart (though even there, not very closely), so in that way he was an easy character to develop. And engrossing to research for. He's a false prophet who throws together his own religion. Religion as a subject fascinates me. Even before starting this project, I was pretty familiar with a number of niche religious movements, both those that would be considered cults and others that would more neutrally be called unique. So along with looking at Alexander of Abonoteichos' traits (as thoroughly criticized by Lucian), I also drew from these other references, though hopefully not too closely; I want the details of Alexandros' cult to ring true to real-world movements without sounding too derivative.

I think one of the things about Alexandros that required a lot of thought was setting the tone for his personality, the way he talks, the things he does, and overall his impact on those around him. On the one hand, we're talking about a cult. You can't realistically write about a cult and ignore how serious they are. But on the other hand, I still wanted to play around with humor. Religion – and I'm not writing this as any kind of skeptical or atheistic statement – is inherently funny. It's an important thing, and important things often have very funny elements to them, partially because of their very importance. According to Lucian, the real life Alexander made some extraordinarily ludicrous (and daring) gambles, and I wanted to play with that. Play with that, have fun with it. But – at the same time – you can never shut off your brain and pretend all of this is just funny.

As far as his design goes, Lucian tells us Alexander was handsome, even “godlike”. With my Alexandros, I decided to make his features almost uncannily ideal. We only ever see him directly in the heroine Akantha's pov, and when she meets him she's had very few men in her life who take her as seriously as Alexandros does, befriending her, caring about the things that hurt her, taking her into his secrets. So she's dazzled by him. It's arguable whether his dazzle is objective or comes more through her perception of him, but I do want him to have a beautiful, almost godlike quality at times.

I decided to throw in a small cheek scar. Sort of a permanent dimple, as well as a hint that at some point in his reckless and quicksilver past, things didn't go according to plan. It's supposed to be on his left cheek, though it appears on his right cheek on the book's back cover – I wanted to include it but he was facing to the right, so I'm guilty of a deliberate inconsistency.

I love writing Alexandros. My hope is that the reader finds him intriguing – perhaps funny and charming, perhaps perceptive and intelligent, perhaps some other things – and, above all, is never bored when he's on the page.

[astrowaffles]

Can I ask something from Fruits Basket? What do you think are Yuki and Kakeru’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? In which moment that you start ship them? What do you love about their dynamic?

You have no idea, how happy I am to found someone who also ship yukeru. Now, I don't hate yuki/machi ship. But most of my fruba moots in a group only love this ship and consider yuki & kakeru just bromance and that kakeru can be a good brother in law for yuki...So when I told them that I ship yukeru, some of them think I'm weird, and some even block me. But I also found someone who told this group that they ship yuki with kyo. Then both of us were blocked by this group. They said that "Fruba is het romance/drama series and there are only m/f ships. Why have to see wholesome male-male and female-female friendship as something romantic." And me and that other moot (yuki/kyo shipper) became bestie.

Sorry for my rambling, love your blog....

hello anon! i took my time answering because i want this to be right, but in the end the best I can do is just give you my opinion on this T-T

Yuki's greatest strength in the beginning is his honesty with himself. he KNOWS what his shortcomings are, though he can't do anything about them. he has lots of strengths by the end!

Yuki's greatest weakness is his insecurity. it lead him to put up walls to prevent anyone getting close, and even tripped him when he was trying to make sincere connections because he believed people could never like him.

Kakeru's greatest strength is his love for people and emotional intelligence. he might be closed-off, confused, and alone, but he never stops putting himself out there for the people who have the courage to ask him for help. he knows exactly how to help everyone around him and only struggles when it comes to his own emotions and backstory. occasionally the way he expresses his care is a bit off though...

Kakeru's greatest weakness is his tendecy to live in his own head. if he had continued to make no attempt to connect to other people, he would have completely spiralled, and it was only thanks to other's care that he got out of his head and stopped living in his memories. his memories make him cold and angry, the opposite of what he wants to be.

As you can see, they are very similar people! I love them because Yuki finally begins to express his snarky, sarcastic side (gremlin boy, i love him) and Kakeru finally begins to express his gentler side, instead of being the harbinger of chaos all the time. I didn't ship them originally - Machi RIGHTS - but the more I thought about the "role of the love interest" in fruits basket, the more I realised Kakeru fit it perfectly for Yuki, and vice versa.

I think there is something beautiful in purely platonic bonds. In that sense, I wish I never found yukeru, because the idea that someone can grow and become their best self purely from the love of their best friend is such a wonderful idea. Also, the anime didn't show many wonderful machi moments (like when she gives yuki fertiliser) and kakeru's iconic girlfriend doesn't appear at all. I don't think I'll ever stop being a multishipper because I just can't decide which is better!

However, even if you view it as a bromance, that's not reason to block someone if you saw them as your friend. There's nothing inherently problematic with yukeru OR yukyo (kyuki?), even if you don't ship it yourself. I don't think I'd ship yuki & kyo in a million years, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. Of course, it's also important to curate your internet experience: if you see a creator who talks a lot about a ship you hate, you are welcome to block them. It's better to block than start an argument! Still, it seems unnecessarily cold to block a friend over a ship disagreement.

Personally, I think you got away lightly - the people who insist that 'such-and-such is a het romance!!!' are usually just homophobic, to be honest. It's one thing to prize platonic relationships, it's another to use them as an excuse to be homophobic.

I'm glad you became besties!!

I actually have a fruits basket blog (@puttingthefruitinfruitsbasket) but i'm not very active because the fandom is so dead. still, you can take a look!

thanks for the ask!!

[morethanwords0475]

March TC Challenge

1. If you could change one thing about your TC, physical or personality-wise, what would it be?

I don’t know, sometimes it sounds like he hates life a little? I’m not delusional that everyone must love their job, but it hurts whenever he expresses too much relief that a holiday is finally coming up, or, especially, when he doesn’t have to teach us for whatever reason (like when we eventually go on exam leave).

2. Are they “your type”, or was falling for a person like them completely unexpected?

I think he is my type in that he’s beautiful, teaches really well, and is super good to our class, but last year I actually didn’t find him that attractive so he probably wasn’t exactly my type, appearance-wise, not when T was still here.

3. If they were an ice cream flavour, what would it be?

I think he would be a fruit flavour that is naturally sweet with a hint of sourness.

4. Imagine you have a whole weekend to spend with your TC. What would you guys do?

I would love to walk his dog with him, go out and eat something nice, maybe have an afternoon coffee date and read together, walk around the lake and just talk…

5. What’s their biggest talent?

Not sure about talents – teaching?? I know my man used to do music though 🥰

6. Be honest: would you guys be a power couple or not?

Probably not 'power' in the traditional sense, but I just feel like we’d probably make each other better people and that’s good enough for me.

7. If they knew about your feelings, would they confront you about it or ignore it?

He probably suspects by now, I think if it got too obvious and was making him uncomfortable he might confront me about it. He’d try to be indirect and gentle about it, though it would definitely be scary.

8. Are they a good singer?

I am very curious, I love his slightly hoarse, raspy voice, but idk if it would sound good singing.

9. If you could choose an outfit that your TC had to wear every single day, what would it look like?

This is very difficult to choose, my inherent love for white shirts says that, plus a vest maybe, though I also love seeing him in casual clothes like hoodies.

10. Are they more academic, artistic, or athletic? What about you?

Incas Lily is probably 70% academic, 10% artistic (we don’t get to see his artistic side so it’s hard to tell), and 20% athletic (he works out more than do sports), I’m probably 75% academic, 15% artistic, and 10% athletic.

11. Do they inspire you as a person?

So much, he is so much goodness and cares about genuine things and forms solid connections with people, he is so good and so loved.

12. Are they an early riser or a night owl?

Early riser most likely, he said on school nights he usually goes to bed at like 22:30 (I wish TAT).

13. Have you ever made each other angry or upset? If so, how did you reconcile?

I’ve always been good in class even before liking Incas Lily so I’ve never made him mad, and he only gets a bit upset at people who don’t listen or do work. There must have been times when he was annoyed with me but didn’t verbalise it, though. I was upset with him for making fun of subjects I like – other than Biology – and felt hurt, we kind of reconciled when he conceded the value in some of those subjects after I pressed him on it.

14. Do you ever find yourself imitating them, either consciously or unconsciously?

I definitely don’t imitate him as much as I did T, the only things I can think about is subtly adapting his sense of humour or hand gestures. I did steal his way of drawing bullet points, I don’t remember ever seeing another teacher draw it like that.

15. What do you think their love language is? What’s yours?

This is extremely hard to tell, not least because I don’t even know if Incas Lily is in a relationship, let alone seen it displayed at school. I would guess quality time and acts of service will probably be high for him. Mine are physical touch and words of affirmation - the latter works very well with having a TC, the former not at all.

16. Have they taught you anything that isn’t school related? Valuable life lessons, insights on how you feel about yourself, etc.?

That time we had a talk about my mental health and stuff, he tried to boost my self-perception and made me see some of the maladaptive thought patterns I had. Especially when he was helping me prepare for my interview, we mostly focused on questions about myself, he helped me think of some of my qualities that I didn't know I had or couldn't admit to. Occasionally hearing his opinions on life during our lessons has also been very valuable.

17. What would they have to do to make you lose feelings for them?

I think anything that compromises his basic identity as a 'good' person, a good teacher – in terms of like moral standards and being a decent human being and all that. That’s the core of my attraction.

18. Are they introverted or extroverted? What about you?

His MBTI is introverted, but he is definitely quite social with many teachers as well as students. He seems more extroverted than me, I’m probably the more introverted of extroverts.

19. Who’s more likely to start rambling about their interests while the other listens?

He’s done it sometimes in lessons and I always love it, I also do on some occasions when talking about the subject I want to major in. 

20. Do you feel guilty about having feelings for your TC?

A bit, sometimes, he’s so good to us it feels like I’m preying on that kindness. Like, he deserves a normal life without some girl semi-obsessing over him, although I mostly don’t actively inconvenience him with these feelings. At least this time he’s not married (😭)

21. Are you insecure about them liking another student more than you?

Always. I always said I loved T before any of his other students did, but I didn’t have feelings for Incas Lily until a year after he started teaching us, so I’m sure he likes a lot of other students better than me. I might be getting the highest grades in my class, but he doesn’t just want grades. Man, and I’ve seen him have really casual dynamics with some of the students a year or two below us and it sucks.

22. What kind of hairstyle would you love to see them in?

His current one is super pretty, it's curly and thick and frames his facial features beautifully. I miss when the top was dyed silver, though, that was the utmost beauty.

23. Do you think they trust you?

We don't ever really get into an emotional level of trust, but for any academic setting he must do. He let me self study a unit, he said he thinks I'd never be able to cheat, and he let me finish up an experiment alone in his lab when we were still doing experiments.

24. What’s the most comedic moment that’s occurred between you two?

It's hard to say, but it was quite funny when he used to give me quizzes for his lower year groups to do, especially when I sometimes get inexplicably caught up in them.

25. Have you ever drawn them or written about them to vent your feelings?

I write about Incas Lily often – usually in diaries and on this blog, sometimes in imagines.

26. How do you feel when you’re around them? Are you so nervous that you can’t concentrate, or do you just feel happy that you get to spend time with them?

I used to almost always be really happy around him (he was my comfort teacher before I really had romantic feelings), it turned into nervousness maybe a few months back, and now a mixture.

27. Do you guys have any inside jokes?

There's one where I told him off for not teaching us something and it comes up in exams, but I think it also annoys him a little.

28. Do their morals, principles, or political views align with yours?

Maybe less so than it was with T, but with basic things like political inclinations, support for gender equality/the LGBTQ+ community/etc., being pro-choice, we are very similar on.

29. Have you ever tried to get over them?

Some days when it gets really bad, like during Mocks in January or sometimes this month, I have wondered whether I should or am meant to get over him, but it's so hard when seeing him makes my heart clench every time.

30. If someone nice your age showed up in your life and you caught feelings for them, would you move on from your TC?

We have so little time now, I doubt I could catch feelings for someone my age or move on from Incas Lily. Hopefully, I will after I go to university.

31. Have you ever said or done something that, in hindsight, might have been hurtful to them? Have they ever done the same to you?

Like for the inside joke, I (jokingly) complained about him not teaching us something, which might have been a bit hurtful, but I have truly tried to always be careful and good around him. I was hurt when he made fun of some of the subjects I like, especially during times when I was feeling really tense, and I do wonder whether he knew it affected me, even though it was all done jokingly.

[writingreadingdaydreaming]

really random but how do you think male omegas feel when they’re balding??

like in the omegaverse fics i read omega beauty is basically described as what would be stereotypical feminine qualities. and obviously i know that women bald and have thinning hair as well but it’s seen as a more masculine thing that it makes me wonder if male omegas would have any insecurities about it??

i mean ian wright is an omega in your universe and he seems bald and bauetuful and happy. not sure about the rest though

Omg an anon!!! Thank you for this wonderful question!!!

I feel like it would depend on how that omega grew up and was socialised, as we all know that women (and therefore omegas in an omegaverse society) are treated and valued based on their appearance.

Honestly? I don’t think an omega like Ian Wright would care all that much about going bald because Ian would have never been seen as a conventionally attractive omega. You have to think for someone like Ian, there would be an intersection of racism and misogyny, and with how intensely Ian sometimes showed his emotions on pitch, many people wouldn’t inherently see a black omega as soft and gentle anyways (because racism :/). So basically I feel like it wouldn’t really matter to him because growing up as someone who didn’t have the exact features of omega beauty, he would learn to find value in other things, so balding wouldn’t bother him as much as some other people (I hope I’ve explained this in a way that makes sense, if I’ve said anything wrong/insensitive feel free to let me know) .

Kind of the same story for Pepe (even though he’s bald by choice, not because of hair loss).

However, some omegas definitely would have deep insecurities about it. I know this is a football ask but if I can just draw it to tennis for a second because Rafa Nadal (even though I’m not a huge fan of him anymore) is a perfect example of this. If you compare how Rafa has aged to how Federer or Djokovic have aged, you can see that Rafa’s aging has been much more pronounced and premature than theirs, and obviously part of that is that he has been losing his hair recently. I think if you consider that when he was younger, Rafa would’ve fitted more into omega ideals, with a shy personality and a soft features. Quite literally the it girl of sport, or at least tennis. So when those signs of aging started to become apparent, especially hair loss, I feel like it would really bother him. His whole career he’s been known as the “pretty one” of the big three, and he would definitely have internalised that, so losing that innocent soft look would definitely do damage to his self-esteem.

I think a big thing too would be omegas losing their hair during pregnancy, which is very common. Imagine the stress of trying to come back to professional football after giving birth, and then the weight of people commenting on your appearance and looks on top of that :/

Thank you so much for your question, I absolutely loved answering this!!!

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Dr. Daniel Schreber

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Maybe you and Daniel met on the street. Or at your work. Or maybe just a coffee shop near your apartment. Maybe he was a stranger, a friend of a friend, a professional that you sought for one reason another: the list could go on. I could spin a tale at random and regardless of how implausible it may seem, you’ve probably; at one point or another, known it to be true; whether it be in this life or your next.

- But none of them are ever really true; not in the way they should be. Sure, you’ll believe them to be fact; instead of the carefully formulated fiction that they really are, but when push comes to shove, all they are are memories: memories that you yourself never created, memories that were created for you; created by the closest thing to a guardian angel someone in your position will ever have the pleasure of meeting.

- But where your story truly begins, the term “meeting” doesn’t necessarily apply. For two people to meet, they both have to be conscious, and considering the fact that you were nothing of the sort, it wouldn’t be fair to consider it as such.

- Alas, for lack of a better word, you and Daniel first “met” during the tuning: aka, the first time he entered your home and injected you with a new set of memories to base your entire existence around. The first time he laid eyes on you and found himself short of breath.

- In a few days time, you’d be moved into an entirely different home with no hope of remembering the former in the slightest, yet he’ll never forget the sight of you alone in that room; every last detail of it ingrained in his mind like the most important lesson he’s ever learned.

- Beautiful women aren’t scarce in your city and Daniel’s seen plenty of them; the type of women who could have been movie stars had they not wound up in the cage you called home. And yet, out of all of them, you compelled him the most. You were mundane, perhaps even a little flawed, and yet, to him you were perfect: a puzzle of interesting features that created a patchwork of beauty, beauty that few would take the time to notice yet many would learn to love.

- It isn’t often that Daniel allows himself to grow close to someone; his job makes it nearly impossible for him to do so even if he wanted to, yet he finds himself drawn to you against his own better judgement. He finds himself studying you, narrowing down exactly what makes you “uniquely you”; the inherent behaviors and morals and skills that you possess regardless of the situations you’re placed into. And he finds himself falling for those pieces of you just as much as he does your appearance.

- He soon grows protective of you; perhaps even a bit possessive. He finds himself creating memories that are sickly sweet; refusing to involve any tragedy or pain in your past so long as he can help it. If something horrid happens to you: if some accidental flaw in the systems sees to it that you suffer in some way, shape or form, it’s erased by nightfall; never to haunt you again.

- He favors you above everyone else; is constantly looking after you and seeing to it that you’re never harmed: he reasons to the overlords that you’re a control group, that you can show them the natural progression of a normal person living a normal life and they trust his judgement, unaware of his ulterior motives. He tries to convince himself that he’s protecting you because you’re pure, because you’re sweet and kind, and not because of some other selfish reason; but he knows deep down that that isn’t true.

- There’s a reason he can never bring himself to give you a boyfriend, a lover, a husband. Why he can’t bring himself to create memories of your first kisses or first times or whatever else one experiences in their youth. He can ignore the truth all he likes but that doesn’t erase it from history.

- The only person he can ever bring himself to set you up with is himself. He basks in the momentary bliss of your shared life and tries to enjoy the fleeting sensation of knowing you before it’s ripped away from him all too soon; lost to time as the tuning begins again. And yet, this experience is not without guilt and certainly not without risk, so he avoids it as much as possible.

- Instead, he’ll make it so you meet him by chance: enjoying the brief encounters that you share day after day; even if all they amount to is a few seconds of interaction between strangers. Almost always, you’re none the wiser: you might have a feeling that you’ve seen him before, a sense of deja vu that prompts you to pause and look at him for a second longer than normal, but never a life shattering realization; not at first.

- But at some point in time, you do remember him: he either neglects to erase your mind fully or your mind lapses momentarily and you greet him with a brightness in your eyes that he’s never seen before; a flicker of recognition that’s so foreign to your world that he struggles to respond accordingly. He racks his brain for the particular moment you must have remembered him from, and from there, the thoughts begin to surface; the idea that he should have you for himself in the way he’s always dreamed of.

- To him, your memory of him is a sign. If you didn’t hold some level of fondness for him, there’d be no reason for you to remember him and if your memory was going to continue to evade his attempts at changing it, then what was the point of trying to make you forget him. He could monitor you more closely if you knew him and protect you from your leaders; not to mention the fact that he’d be able to experience the relationship he’d always dreamed of.

- There’s very little Daniel can do without arousing the suspicion of your alien overlords and once he finds himself unable to plausibly deny his affections for you, he’ll find himself forced to confront them and ask their permission to keep you as his wife. Lucky for him, despite their constant studies, there’s still much about human life that evades their understanding; making it relatively easy for him to convince them of the importance of human contact and interaction.

- Thus begins his forging of the perfect relationship….

- Daniels imagined the details time and time again; planned everything out from start to finish, so much so that the story itself is ingrained in his mind like an actual memory rather than an elaborate daydream.

- He fine tunes everything to your liking; models everything around what he knows you’ll adore. You meet and fall in love in the way you’ve always dreamed you would: whether it be through one of your beloved hobbies, a particular book/movie plot, a casual encounter, etc. No matter what it is, it’s something you can look back on proudly and fondly and wonder how you got so lucky.

- He tries to restrain himself, reminds himself your memories must portray a version of himself that he can keep up with: that even though he’d like to be your perfect Prince Charming, he still wants to be honest with you and do everything in his power to form as real a connection as possible.

- One thing that Daniel knows for certain is that love cannot be faked; no matter how hard you try. You can convince a person of their physical attachment to someone, but you can’t create a genuine connection from scratch. You can be convinced you’re in a relationship but you can’t be made to feel like you’re in love.

- And that’s his reassurance that he made the right decision. You yearn to be around him the same way he yearns to be around you. You smile at him like you mean it, like there isn’t an ounce of disappointment inside of you, like you genuinely care for him. He can’t spot or remember a singular moment where you’ve acted as though you were merely playing an assigned role: and after years of being responsible for the casting of said roles, he can certainly tell the difference.

- Perhaps it’s because he knows you better than anyone else in the entire world; he can assume that it wouldn’t be difficult to fall in love with someone who acts as though they can read your mind, but even so, he knows that his observations aren’t prejudiced or obstructed by his own personal wants.

- You love him; regardless of his flaws and the reality of who he truly is: you love him as much as you love the person he convinced you he was and you love him as much as you love the things that are ingrained in the very fibers of your being. Against all odds, he found genuine love and very little could convince him otherwise.

- You’ll both remember all your firsts very differently; with you remembering the fabricated firsts and him remembering the real ones, and though he’ll think back on your first date fondly, nothing will compare to the first time the two of you kissed.

- You’d just woken up from your tuning; the first tuning that saw you become his girlfriend, and he’d discarded his briefcase before you began to wake up, watching you as you smiled at him warmly; blinking away the sleep from your eyes as he stood there nervously.

“You’re home.” You’d said happily and he’d smiled somewhat shyly, sighing in relief just quiet enough for you not to hear.

- He’d slowly approached the chair you were sat in and you’d pulled him down gently, pressing your lips to his own as he tried his hardest not to pull away out of sheer surprise. Alas, you’d still managed to sense his hesitation and asked if he was alright, listening to him carefully as he breathed shakily and swallowed softly, telling you that he “just missed you is all”. You’d merely smiled in response, kissing him again as he finally found himself able to return the gesture and kiss you back.

- After that moment, there was no turning back. And though he tries his best to keep your memories as similar as possible, he can’t help but thumb the wedding band in his pocket and contemplate whether he��ll have the nerve to slip it on your finger the next time he’s in charge of tuning your memories.

- For the sake of these headcanons, I’ll ignore the way the two of you met and just make the dating portion as in character as possible. They’ll most likely revolve around the idea that you’re relatively unaware of his occupation so try to keep that in mind as you continue reading.

- Though he knows the Strangers can view the two of you at any given moment, it still gives him a bit more peace of mind to save his affection for behind closed doors. He feels as though he could be putting you in danger by publicly linking himself to you; at least in a way that seems particularly genuine or romantic, so he prefers reserved Pda that looks more polite than intimate; affection that allows him to lie about your relationship to people who are none the wiser.

- Speaking of affection: Daniel is about as touch starved as a person can be. A simple caress or touch from you can make his breath hitch and a lump form in his throat in a matter of seconds. Hold his face in your hands and he’ll lean into your touch, immediately feeling as though everything is somehow alright again. Your gentle affection is like a drug; one that relaxes and grounds him like nothing else.

- Walking with your elbows interlocked or your hand clutching his arm; usually with him clutching his cane in the opposite hand.

- Lingering kisses pressed to your forehead and hairline.

- Daniels kisses always have a certain depth to them; an intimacy that makes kissing him in public a bit inappropriate. There’s a touch of clumsiness; the sort of clumsiness that comes with a lack of practice, and depending on the circumstances, there’s also either an air of desperation or a gentleness to them that you use to help determine his mood.

- Affection in itself is a good way to figure out how he’s feeling. Daniels a fairly secretive person; he doesn’t like involving you in his problems nor admitting to you when somethings the matter, so it’s best to try and learn the differences in his behavior. It gives you a bit more peace of mind and your silent understanding will visibly comfort him; even if he still refuses to speak about it.

- Sitting on his lap or the arm of his chair. It’s usually how you get his attention and start a conversation about something that’s worrying you: he’ll merely wrap an arm around you and insist that everything will be fine, patting your knee reassuringly as you sit in quiet thought.

- He typically just calls you by your full first name but on occasion, he’ll call you darling, dear or dearest as well. Sometimes; if he’s trying really hard to act normal or relate to someone, he’ll refer to you as “the old ball and chain” but it’s fairly obvious that the phrase is more sarcastic/put on than something he genuinely enjoys saying.

- Considering the fact that he typically has a job to do whenever you’re supposed to be asleep, it isn’t often that the two of you have the time to cuddle. But, whenever he does manage to get the chance, you’ll usually find yourself wrapped up in his arms; your head on his chest and his fingers tracing patterns onto your arms and back.

- Showering together. Like he said: water is the one thing that truly deters the strangers, so it’s only natural for him to enjoy the quiet and the peace of mind that comes with it; not to mention the obvious benefits of shared showers.

- Fetching him things; oftentimes without him asking. What are you gonna do, make him hobble across the room for something while you watch with perfectly functioning appendages? Be nice.

- Receiving calls from him when he’s out of the house. It gives him peace of mind to randomly reach out to you and ensure that you’re alright; even when there’s no real reason for him to be worried. On your end, it’ll just seem like he missed you and wanted to hear your voice, and while that is somewhat true, there’s also probably another reason for it as well.

- Visiting him at his lab/workplace. If you’re unaware of his real occupation then it’ll probably look a lot like a therapists office. But if you are aware then you’ll come and fluster him by appearing in his laboratory without warning; especially before the two of you begin dating.

- Speaking of: if you’d like to think that you knew about the Strangers all along, then you probably acted as a sort of partner in crime to him: either working alongside him to teach John or learning how to control the tuning yourself. I do sort of love the idea of Daniel slowly; and somewhat pathetically, falling in love with his coworker and/or his assistant.

- Helping him with his experiments.

- Helping to calm him down; even if you don’t know anything about his current situation. Sometimes, he’ll come home to you in a panic and just fall to his knees in front of you, clutching at you desperately as he tries his best to even out his breathing and avoid crying into your dress. It’ll scare you half to death but you’ll just have to reassure him that he’s alright and that everything’s okay; no matter how wrong you may be.

- Occasional spontaneity. There’s usually a reason behind his sudden decision to stay home from work and spend the day with you or go out for the night, but you’re almost always none the wiser. You’re just happy you get more time with the love of your life.

- Receiving flowers and other little treats and gifts whenever he returns home to you; things he’ll be sure to drop on instinct if he’s ever confronted with something shocking in your apartment.

- Going to the cinema and the theater.

- Dinner dates.

- Spending quiet evenings at home. Usually, you’ll just sit in front of your fireplace and enjoy each other’s company: reading from different books or having different mundane conversations.

- Listening to radio shows and records.

- Moonlit strolls; as if your strolls could ever not be moonlit.

- Him visiting you at your work and asking you about your day; even though he’s bound to know exactly how it plays out even before you open your mouth. He can’t deny how interesting it is to walk into an entirely different building than the one he’d entered the day before and see you acting in the role he’d assigned for you himself.

- Cleaning his glasses on your skirt and placing them back on his face, or taking them off to kiss him. The action makes him melt into a flustered mess.

- Him buttoning your shirts for you, zipping up your dresses, and clasping your necklaces. He likes how intimate the little acts are.

- He definitely keeps a photo of you in his wallet or office; or anywhere else that's safe and capable of being taken out and viewed at any given moment. He likes having a little piece of you with him at all times.

- Sweet affirmations, telling each other how much you love one another, openly admitting how much he’s missed you, etc. Romantic talk is common in your relationship and oftentimes sickly sweet; the sort of thing you’d be embarrassed to be seen doing because of how pathetically lovey dovey it makes the two of you look.

- For obvious reasons, he thrives in any scenario where a doctor is needed: whether it be putting eye drops in your eyes, making you a special tea to settle your stomach, or bandaging your wounds after a minor accident. Just caring, precise work that makes him feel needed and you feel cared for.

- It’s almost guaranteed that you live together; he wouldn’t have it any other way, and you probably adopt a pet together as well: a cat and some fish, or maybe a bird that serves as both a companion to you and an exercise in irony.

- You can insist you’re fine but he’s always one step ahead of you; picking up on your nervous ticks and pointing them out with a subtle flick of his eye. You’ll merely smile a bit bashfully and accept that he knows, admitting to what’s on your mind as he listens to you carefully. Sometimes it’s a pain to have a boyfriend who can psychoanalyze you but at least you never have to tell him how you’re feeling.

- I mentioned it before, but he knows you like the back of his hand: knows your thoughts as you think them and pulls the words right out of your mouth. Have a specific routine? He can write a schedule for you down to the very last minute. Favorite candy? He buys it the day you feel like having some. In a mood? He can tell the second he steps through the door. It’s like he’s found a way to tap into your brain….

- Daniel is always on your side, no matter the situation. He never lets you get deterred and always tries his best to help you figure things out: acting as a careful and comforting teacher whenever times get tough. Blame it on his occupation; he is a doctor after all.

- He likes knowing your every thought; even the arguably mundane things that should be of no real interest to him. Most of the time it’s to monitor what you know and remember, asking you to “humor him” as you chuckle and say “oh it’s nothing” or “it’s just sort of strange” after making like you were going to tell him something. You’ll think it’s just nonsense but his response, the way he goes quiet like he’s deep in thought before smiling and saying something like “that is strange” makes you wonder whether you should pay it more mind yourself.

- He doesn’t talk much about himself but on occasion, he’ll humor you: telling you about his backstory, his day to day life, etc. None of it is true of course, but it’s as true as any story he can spin. No harm in making up a lie when you can’t remember the truth; especially if it makes you happy.

- If he ever finds himself able to, he’d love to tell you how the two of you truly met and how he fell in love with you to an immeasurable degree. He’ll have to play it carefully though; of course, and he’ll have to do it one step at a time; unless he’s undeniably forced to do it in one fell swoop.

- There’s a moment in time where he finally admits to everything; nervous to the point of tears, explaining what’s happened in secret and what he’s done to bring the two of you together before telling you that he understands if you never want to see him again. And though it’ll take you a moment to process exactly what he’s telling you, you’ll ultimately tell him that you’re not leaving him just yet: watching as he blinks away the shine in his eyes and sighs like the weight of the worlds been lifted off his shoulders.

- A part of him feels as though he doesn’t deserve the happiness he’s constructed for himself. He wonders that if you knew the truth; the full truth, if you’d still be capable of loving him. He’s a traitor to his own kind, a coward, he’s ruined countless lives and you know nothing of that side of him nor the depth of his self loathing that you just barely pick up on. What would happen if you found out? Surely nothing good; though he could certainly hope….

- Daniels a fairly jealous person: mainly because of his fear that you’ll find someone you have a genuine connection with; a love that naturally exceeds the one he’s tried so hard to garner for himself. Most of the time, he’ll merely approach the two of you and passive aggressive say “oh, I see you’ve met my wife” or “if you’ll excuse us, we must be going” before dragging you off and away. By “morning”, you won’t remember them at all and they’ll be moved all the way across town.

- He’s protective in the way a father tends to be and it’s usually for good reason: telling you not to “talk to Strangers”, to call him when you get home, to not go out “tonight”, etc. They’re silly little things that you don’t think twice about so when he tells you to “humor him” it isn’t often that you refuse. Unfortunately for him, he’s never quite sure if it’s safer for him to stay close by or far away.

- Fighting is fairly rare between the two of you: your shared apartment is a refuge for him and he works hard to keep your lives stress free. But on occasion, you just won’t be able to stop an argument from happening; especially when you’re suddenly hyper aware of the fact that he’s lying to or keeping something from you.

- He’s always tempted to erase the fight from your memory but it isn’t often that he goes through with it; he only does so when knowing the truth will put you in danger. Typically, he just apologizes very earnestly and seriously and tries his best to come up with an explanation that’ll both keep you safe and placate you.

- He’s very open about how much he loves you: telling you that he does nearly everyday; amongst other things that would equate to it. He also loves hearing you say it back, and grows so used to you doing so that he’d probably question you if you didn’t; wanting to know if everything was alright.

- Marriage is a definite, but I also think he’d want to have his own little family with you as well. He’d dream about being a father but he’d never find the nerve to bring it up to you; feeling as though it isn’t fair to ask you about it before he’s able to be completely truthful with you.

[unmaskthemagic]

15. The Devil

Left: the Blood Moon tarot © Sam Guay @samguayart samguay.com

Right: Rider-Waite deck

Element: Earth

Planet: Saturn

Numerology: 15 represents the material and spiritual, i.e. the Magician and the Hierophant and, together, the duality of the Lovers.

Keywords: shadow, dependance, sexuality, impulse, tunnel vision

Quotes: "The Devil is God as he is misunderstood by the wicked." Paul Foster Case; "Shadow owes its birth to light." John Gay; "Sexuality is one of the ways we become enlightened, actually, because it leads us to self knowledge." Alice Walker; "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller

Symbols: The creature in the middle is Baphomet, representing the balance between good and evil, male and female, human and animal. Baphomet or the image of a half goat half man has come to represent the Devil. The creature has wings like a bat, symbolic of the vampire bat or sucking blood from its prey, which in turn is symbolic of what happens when we succumb to raw desires. The creature has a hypnotic stare, drawing all towards them. The inverted pentagram represents the dark side of the occult. His right hand is making what is popularly known as the Vulcan salute from Star Trek, but before that it meant a Jewish blessing. The couple in front are a callback to the Lovers. The man and woman are naked and chained up and appear unable to leave, but at closer glance the chains are loose. Their small horns represent them becoming more like the Devil the longer they stay. Their tails represent their animal instincts and the grapes and fire symbolize pleasure and lust.

"The natural man is an enemy to God." That's what I've been taught almost my entire life. Control those evil impulses, wear a bra, we are more civilized than animals, you're being a drama queen. As an autistic child I took those things very seriously and built a strong mask. As I got older, though, I started to question it. The natural man is what keeps us safe, what makes us curious, and it brings new life. Why is it an enemy to God? This card exemplifies what I've been realizing for years now. Natural is NOT evil. Sexuality is NOT shameful. And our shadows do not have to be scary.

I highly recommend the Between the Worlds episode on the Devil. They go over how this card can represent evil, depending on what your version of evil is, but it can also represent nature. They talk about the Devil being the gatekeeper and I think that's my new name for this card. I also love the artistic interpretation on the left, because it can represent that the Devil is inside of us. I always hated it when people would use the excuse, "The Devil made me do it," or "The Devil is really tempting me today," because honestly this was just them shifting the blame from themselves. The snake is a symbol of fertility and creative life force and the snake in the Garden of Eden simply pointed out the shadow that was already there. The patriarchy labeled the snake a symbol of evil, just like they labeled the human body, instincts, and femininity evil.

But really the Devil or the shadow within us is neither good nor evil. It simply is. The Devil stands at the gate and tells me I need to face them, my shadow, to move onto knowledge and enlightenment. They are not a liar, though, and they give me all the options. They also tell me I can succumb to my shadow, the addictive path, or I can avoid and ignore them for a time. The thing is, I'm scared of my shadows (for a good reason, because they can get me into uncomfortable situations), but they aren't inherently bad. In fact, they are a part of me and help me see the depth in life. They bring life, pleasure, beauty, opportunity. Once I acknowledge them and accept them and possibly even love them, I can become a higher self. It's just like Joy accepting Sadness in Inside Out. She isn't going to let Sadness take over the controls at the end, but it's a balance between all the emotions.

So, in a summary of my longwindedness, the Devil may come up if a darker part of myself needs loving. Or maybe I need some distance from a shadow part. Maybe a darkness is coming into my life. I might need to get in touch with my sexuality or trust in my instinct a little more. Or I might need to evaluate a time where I did something impulsively and regretted it. The wild side of me is not flawless, but that doesn't make it evil.

As part of my study, I use the Tarot Card Meanings Workbook by Brigit Esselmont, biddytarotcard.com, brainyquotes.com (I use the card’s keywords to search for quotes that speak to me), Pinterest to look at other artistic interpretations, and Between the Worlds podcast.

[letteredlettered]

Do you have any complaints about HP canon, and if so, what are they? For example I know a lot of people really dont like that Draco didnt get a redemption arc, but your work seems to really thrive off of a close reading of canon Draco in a way I think a lot of fanfic just cant because hes like... a very bad person. Its made me wonder if you are very... canon positive? I guess? Or more positive than most, maybe.

I have too many complaints about HP canon to list in an ask, but I can try to list some of them. First I want to say that choosing to use canon to inform your fic has less to do with whether or not you like the canon and more to do with what you like or want from fanfic. If you don’t like that Draco wasn’t redeemed, you can write a fic that posits he is redeemed and so that canon doesn’t have to be dealt with. Or, you can write a fic that shows how he gets redeemed or deals with the fact of his redemption to show what canon could have been. I obviously prefer the latter style, though I respect anyone’s choice to write in the former style. I can’t say I always understand the former style, but I respect the fact that people want to do it and should if that’s what they want.

I will say that I’m not sure I’ve ever written a fic that’s fully canon compliant, and I can’t quite imagine wanting to. Most of my fics a response to canon--they’re about something that wasn’t in canon, that I wish was in canon; or they’re about something that wasn’t in canon, and I don’t want to be in canon, but I still want to be explored. I wish the MCU would actually deal with the responsibility of wielding outsized power of destruction, so I wrote MCU fics. I do not want Schitt’s Creek to deal with the darkness of David Rose’s trauma or past, but I was still interested in it, so I wrote darker SC fic. I love Star Trek TOS, but I want to see Kirk and Spock hook up, so I wrote TOS fic.

There are a few things where I like the canon just the way it is, so I don’t write fic for it. Rainbow Rowell’s Carry On series is just what I want. I don’t need to write fic.

Back to my complaints with HP canon, the major problem I had was a lot of set up without the follow-through I expected or desired. I discussed that in my tumblr posts about Ron and Ginny. The set up of the Harry Potter universe is rather black and white, which I appreciate--it’s easy to get invested; it’s easy to consume. You know who the good guys are right away, and there’s no more complication. LOTR is rather like that, and I love it. But then HP begins to deconstruct its premise--James Potter was good, but he wasn’t kind. Dumbledore was trying to stop Voldemort, but he wasn’t honest. Snape is a horrible person, but he’s trying to do the right thing. This is my favorite sort of story, the one that starts black and white--vampires are evil; the robots will kill us, and the Gems that didn’t rebel are the enemy. Then a vampire earns his soul, or you find out you’re a robot, or--well, actually I didn’t like where Stephen Universe really went with that, but you get the picture. The Harry Potter series began the process of turning its own premise inside out, but somewhere in Halfblood Prince, that got too hard, and things began to snap back to their original shape. Good is good, actually, and bad people will always be bad.

One example of this is the death of Voldemort. Harry is set up as a mirror to Voldemort. Their pasts are very similar. Harry even feels compassion for Voldemort. At several different points, Harry is faced with the fact that he has to kill Voldemort. But Harry never has to deal with killing Voldemort, or with making a decision to spare Voldemort. In the end, Voldemort causes his own end as a result of his own destructive tendencies. This makes me feel that the text is suggesting that Voldemort deserves death. The idea that anyone “deserves” death for bad things they’ve done is not something I believe in or ascribe to. But even if it is the argument the text wants to make--what was the point of showing us that Tom Riddle was lonely, hurt, feared, and probably mistreated? The point really appears to be to show that two boys can have the same background and one turns out good while the other turns out bad, because goodness is inherent to some people while evil is inherent to others. I find this conclusion abhorrent, but I feel the conclusion is ultimately borne out by plenty of other aspects of the HP books.

The other example is Draco’s lack of redemption. I do not think villains have to be redeemed. The world has proven that shitty people can remain shitty. I also appreciate stories that show us the humanity of shitty people. A story about someone who is faced with thier bad choices but continues to make bad choices because they’re too afraid to do otherwise can be a good story. But I guess with Draco, I felt like I saw enough of his inner turmoil to understand why his heart would change, but not a thorough explanation of why it wouldn’t. Combined with many other similar characterizations in HP canon, it just feels like more essentialism--bad people are bad, and that’s how it is. I don’t mean there’s no nuance--as I said, the series does begin to deconstruct its own premise; we even saw how the Trio could be shitty. But ultimately they make the right choices. The characters who make the wrong choices generally continue to make them, except for Snape and Dudley. My complaint with those two representing a change of heart is that we don’t get to see the actual painful process of what that looks like--Snape’s happens pre-canon and there is too little of Dudley to show what is going on in Dudley’s brain.

The last thing I absolutely hate about HP is a lot of the “bad” characters tend to be overweight or unappealing in appearance. It’s true that a lot of this might be Harry’s POV--maybe Snape actually is the sex god some fics make him out to be, and Harry just he’s greasy because he doesn’t like him, and maybe Harry doesn’t like a good hook nose (I do). Additionally, Lockhart is very pretty, and while I want to firmly stress that Draco is never describes as good-looking, he’s not really described as ugly, and I believe Narcissa is even described as beautiful. But the book isn’t written in close third-person Harry POV, and “pointy” isn’t very flattering. Unkind words and stereotypes are used throughout to highlight the badness or evil of almost all the characters we’re not “supposed to” like. The descriptions of the Dursleys in particular are upsetting.

In my opinion, the  above examples demonstrate a lack of compassion at the heart of the HP story. That’s what I’ve always hated about it and what always made me want to write about it. I want to write and say, “Look at this. This is fucked up. This is wrong.” Some people don’t read fic for that reason, and I think that’s fine. Plenty of those people really hate my fic, which is also fine. I know that many things in this world lack compassion, and I don’t spend years of my life writing fanfic about them. I think the reason I keep coming back is to me, the premise was unkind--which I was fine with, and then the text itself began to deconstruct itself--which I was overjoyed by. It made me fall in love with the series. But when the premise snapped back to an essentially black and white world, I felt betrayed.

In conclusion, I find HP at its very essence to be unkind. Ursula K Le Guin said it best when she said that it was “ethically rather mean-spirited.”

[nightswithkookmin]

Jimin is a pretty bOY

This is a continuation of our discussion on my last post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, I think I agree with all of it.

Not sure how I feel about the calling eachother out bit or near scolding of others in the comments. Please let's be welcoming and respectful of others's thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with it. It's ok to hold diverse views. We do after all come from different backgrounds and have accumulated different experiences and I think it plays out in how we see things. Everyone's opinion is valid. Plus, I purple yall.

Now, do I think he is trying to pack on muscles........? Yes. He said so himself in Festa when he said he would rush to the mirror when he thought he had gained some muscle only to find out his biceps looks like a muscled kindergartner.

He also said lately he's into exercising and staying in shape which is true because for quite sometime now since early this year he has been talking about how "weak" he is in their Vlives and have even given instances of him not being able to do certain things- certian simple and easy tasks- which is typical of him I'd say. He's always talking about how "weak" he is especially around JK and juxtaposing that with "but JK is so strong" which I'm sorry but I have to smirk at right now cos it's such a typical gay pick me simp thing to do. We've all been there.

Do I think he's trying to be a muscle bunny or revert back to his body shape around debut? Absolutely not. But I do think he is straddling the line of toxic masculinity which is what the conversation is about.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to stay in shape or even enjoying work outs. Last night I ran downstairs because I had left my stew on the stove and now this morning I called renew my gym membership because I discovered running can be actually fun to do... No. No it's not. The gym instructor would have to come for me kicking and screaming.

RM have said even though JM looks skinny and fragile he is one of the strongest within the group. Besides, this is not the first time he's expressed interest in working out and building his body- hello, on Era?

I remember people complaining he looked too buffed up in that period on SNS and PJMs quickly jumping in to clear the searches for it. The choreo for On required agility and endurance and required the members- not just JM build up some definition in their muscles.

We've seen them go through all that. So it's not simply a matter of black and white staying in shape or doing it because he feels pressured to do so. Especially, when you consider that he's undertaken some pretty unhealthy measures in the past in attempts to lose weight or soften out his body post these muscle building, weight gaining periods and we've always chalked it up to his dance and how as a contemporary dancer he has to look a certain way or this or that to try to justify and make sense of it. Next you, know there are six chapters of break the silence of him talking about all the dark places he's been, the pressures to look his best for his fans or for his job and all these other painful stories he's shared with us over the years. And it's like, but why? Why do this to yourself?

I'll never forget the look he gave JK when JK was talking about wanting to build muscles in one of the interviews for the promotion of Be- I think I made a post on it. When JK noticed JMs disapproving glare he backtracked saying he would want to stay skinny after gaining all that muscles.

I mean if I'm to be honest, he was bound to crack at one point. The signs were there being surrounded by all these men who adhere to the traditional aesthetics of a masculine body- from Namjoon to Taehyung.

I wish y'all will steer the conversation in this direction and make it more about gender norms and expressions and breaking stereotypes and diversity in the body aesthetics of men.

Jimin is a man too. He just isn't what people traditionally will label masculine. Androgynous is more an apt word in my opinion. How many times have I said, I think Jungkook hetero passes because his body aesthetics is quintessentially what most associates with a masculine man?

Breaking gender barriers is not just about embracing feminine apparels- that teeters on cross dressing quite frankly and can be a bit performative and baity. Then you have to consider their culture in itself has an inherent pro gender diversity feel to it.

Now, let me explain my problem with the Klout ad campaign a little bit.

Do you see how Tae stands out? And I'm not saying this to fuel the "Tae was their fav" debacle. It's the 007 feel... I'll explain in a bit.

Most often, alcohol advertisers as well as most advertisements intended to sell to men often try to appeal to men's internalized ideals of masculinity or try to shape and define what a man or masculinity should look like. These ideals are so often toxic and detrimental to men and mostly women too.

Take a look at these ads for example. All I had to do was google search ads for men.

Real men drink milk and look at the image they present as real men. This blatantly implies if you don't look like this, if you are not a strong cliff climbing man with abs you are not a real man.

The second image is subtle. I call it the 007 slash Kingsmen-esque ideals of masculinity. It portrays men as sexy cool badass- works out but isn't too buff, filthy rich or middle class, wears Rolex, designer clothes, is kind but has a mean exterior and is every 13 year old wattpad girls's dream of a man. In fiction, you see this kind of masculinity in characters such as Edward cullens to Christian Grey. And a lot of ads for men alternate between these two ideals of masculinity.

Do you see how they modeled Taehyung in these ads after this kind of masctheme? Tae looks the same in almost all the ads. 007 sexy cool badass.

Now, I may not be a makeup beauty guru or MUA or whatever, but one thing I've picked up on especially when it comes to makeup for men- BTS and Kpop idols mostly is that, they soften out the harsh features on their faces and make them appear more androgynous or effeminate to suit the Kpop look and they ditch it entirely in different settings.

So for instance, Tae and Kookie's natural hawkish eyebrows tend to get softened around the arch and edges- don't know how the fuck they do that- but it appears less in your face intense most times when they wear make up in kpop related contents.

However, in certain other contents that lean towards a certain gender theme those features are emphasized. Not to say hawkish features are masculine features. Just saying in men, Kpop idols, my observation is they soften those features out with makeup or surgery.

Now, take a look at JM in these ads and look at everything from his posture, make up, hairstyle and brows. It's as if someone took an eraser to his androgynousity and erased his feminine side. Take a look at his photo above and compare it to the ads.

I am not a man. But I feel the gender look they went for, intended to appeal to men, tapped into a rather outdated stereotype of what man and masculinity should look like.

What is a man?

What should a man look like?

What aesthetics of masculinity is Jimin gravitating towards now? And I'm not talking clothes, I'm talking the expression of his gender. Time and again, he's talked about how looking a certain way made him uncomfortable in the past because he was constantly fighting his feminine side. He is androgynous. Sometimes he leans more into his feminine side. Other times he leans more into his masculine side but this is the only time he's leaning into his masculinity that makes me uncomfortable to watch because like I said it bothers on toxic masculinity.

He's said whoever he was, the version fighting to look masculine, that wasn't him. So forgive me if I worry whenever i see him suppressing his feminine side and acting like 'one of the boys.' Him staying in shape is not synonymous with him erasing a valid part of himself or suppressing it. He can stay in shape, celebrate his masculinity and still be FILTER.

What I'm saying is, this not a conversation about him exercising. This is a conversation about an ad erasing his feminine side and boxing him into a narrow expression of his gender and how that might be affecting his view of himself especially in the way he's been gravitating towards a certain masculine aesthetics and how that could be toxic.

Tae has said the same thing and BTS have agreed the JM as of 2019 was the real JM according to them.They said he was that way- suppressing his feminine side, because there weren't much songs and choreos that suited him and so he had had to bend himself to fit with the others.

And so when I see him leaning a certain way I tend to wonder if his exterior environment is playing a role in that. I hope you can understand that.

He is a contemporary dancer and strength and flexibility are prerequisites for his craft. The company go out of their way to incorporate contemporary dance in their choreos for JM's sake which helps solve that problem of him trying too hard to look a certain way.

May be I'm projecting. May be my little brother is effeminate and I've always recommended Jimin as a role for him to tell him not to try to look different just because other boys look different. May be I've seen him try one too many times to kill himself in the gym trying to build on muscles and getting frustrated with himself because he ends up looking like someone else. You can't gym the queerness away. Society will never let you be who you want to be so you might as well flip it the middle finger.

These boys are being shaped by their environment. I hate to say this but the environment they are in isn't exactly progressive and the longer they stay in there cut off from the outside world...

Flying out helps. Meeting different people and being exposed to different cultures and conversations on gender expression helps.

Anywho, these are just concerns I have. Will have them till I see that's not where he is headed towards. But let's not act like these ad campaigns do not and can not psychologically impact these boys especially as these advertisers are not looking to tap into their own definition of gender and masculinity but shape it and redefine it to appeal to the demographic they intend to market to.

I think this is just a grey area for me. Rather than try to change JM to look a certain way in order to sell alcohol. I think the ground breaking thing would be to have a man who looks like JM show us how someone like him would sell a can of drink. I think that would be revolutionary.

Signed,

GOLDY

[forever-rogue]

In Name Only - Part 14

A/N: Hello friends, I’m so excited to share another chapter of INO with you! I hope you still love it as much as I do! Please note, I did do some research for this chapter, so what you’re reading is pretty much historically accurate! As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: mentions of violence and injury

IN NAME ONLY SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

The journey back to Sunspear took just shy of a week and was...surprisingly tranquil compared to your brief stay in Starfall. It was such a shame really, because it was a beautiful place and the people were kind, except for the lady of the house herself. She hadn’t been inherently mean, no, you’d be lying if you said she was, but she just rubbed you the wrong way. The very wrong way with her accusations and contrite words against your beloved.

When you had left, your eyes had scanned the wood for any signs of the mysterious woman you had met. You were still questioning your own mental state and really did wonder if you had imagined the whole thing. But surely...you hadn’t made it all up....

That morning at breakfast before your departure, you politely declined the tea that was placed in front of you without so much as a word. Oberyn had glanced in your direction for just a moment but if his suspicions were raised, he didn’t show it. When you had departed, he had briefly asked what happened and you were upfront with him as you had vowed to be. You had nothing to hide from him, and no reason to ever feel the need, so why would you now?

“Moon tea,” you had told him calmly with a shrug of your shoulders as his left eyebrow arch raised in surprise as it was prone to doing. He opened his mouth to say something but you stopped him by gently putting your hand on his chest and giving him a small kiss, “don’t worry...there’s no need. Even if I thought….I could, I would not take it, dear husband.”

“Is that what the hurry to leave is about?” he asked quietly, an arm protectively finding its way around your waist. Stiffening for a moment, you gave him a small nod as he cast a furtive glance back at the castle, “did she do anything to you?”

“No,” you insisted, deciding to leave out the little detail that you had in fact drank the tea yesterday in a moment of confusion and worry, “she just...she drinks it in order to keep from falling pregnant by other men. Apparently she and her husband do not have great relations and she knows she can only have a child when there is no doubt that it is his heir.”

“Oh,” he said softly as you nodded, making sure that no one overheard your private conversations. If something was going to be spilling their secrets, you were going to make sure it was not you, “I see...why would she encourage you to drink it? We are married.”

A small pit formed in your stomach as you looked at him, offering him a soft smile before touching his cheek gently. He keened as into your warmth as he always did, and your heart felt like it broke a little. All the nasty accusations thrown out about him were disgusting and you would never allow anyone to do such a thing again. Next time you would have a more rigid backbone.

“She…” you trailed for a moment as you looked at him, finding his honeyed eyes watching you intently, “I love you, Oberyn. You know that, right?”

“Of course, my sunshine,” he promised, pressing a feather light kiss to the palm of your hand, “and I love you. More and more every passing day.”

“Lady Dayne is not immune to gossip and appears to love stirring up trouble when there is no need,” you decided to leave it at that as you walked over to your horses, pulling Oberyn along behind you. Part of you hoped he would leave it, let it go and be done with it, but you knew your husband better than that. He was silent as he helped you on your mare before mounting his steed. You could practically feel his eyes boring into you, so you turned to him, “Oberyn. People talk and spread rumors of things they know nothing about…”

“About me,” he said meekly, causing you to nod, “about-”

“It does not matter to me,” you cut him short, “I know the truth, you know the truth, and the people that matter do as well. That’s all that matters.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” just as you were growing proficient at reading him, he was the same with you.

“She said you would grow bored of me soon and then toss me to the side,” you finally admitted, “that you would tire of me once I am no longer shiny and new and find another plaything.”

Oberyn’s mouth hung open ever so slightly as his heart seemed to break slightly at your words - the shake to your voice. He reached for your hand and took it in his much larger one, giving it a tight squeeze, “that is not true. None of it. I-I -”

“I know, Oberyn,” you promised gently, almost wishing you hadn’t said anything at all at the upset look on his face, “that is what I meant - she likes to worry about things that do not concern and stir the pot when there is no need. I don’t like the lies or the negativity, which is largely the reason for my request for a sudden departure.”

“You know I would never do that to you,” he said softly, “that is not who I am, and I would not-”

“You have never given me a reason to doubt you, my love,” you insisted. He hadn’t; in fact he proved to you that you were his and he was yours, countless times, starting with when you had worried about a possible reconciliation with Ellaria, “and I do not. I have told you, as you have me, that if there comes a time when you wish to...take another lover you can do so.”

“That won’t happen,” he promised with an air of finality, “no one could take away the shine from my sunshine, not even on the most dreary of days, You have me, heart and soul forever, sweet girl.”

“You are a poet as much as a warrior and diplomat, my Prince,” you could practically feel yourself glowing under his praise as a gentle warmth flushed all over you, “I would be a fool to ever doubt your devotion.”

“Indeed you would,” he agreed with a small smirk, a bit of playfulness returning to his features. He spurred the steed on as he broke away from you, causing you to laugh before you chased after him. You would never have to worry about his love - that much you knew in your heart and soul. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Oh," the words crashed around your ears like a ton of bricks as you tried your best to keep a neutral expression on your face. The look on his was nothing but apologetic but the words still stung. You had just returned to Sunspear the evening before and here he was, ready to depart again. Although you had spent countless hours together recently, it didn't take this any easier. You'd spend all the hours of all your days with him if you could, “oh.”

"I am terribly sorry, my love," he said as you nodded, "Doran just informed me - apparently this is one of those times when I get no say in anything. But he's too poorly to travel right now, so I must take his place instead as it my duty as both his brother and as the Prince.”

"What about Arianne?" you pouted at him slightly, a last bit of a desperate plea to get him to stay as you tried to keep your lip from trembling too much. 

"She is coming with me," he said gently, "she's learning, but she still needs guidance sometimes..."

"And what about me?" you asked as he sighed lightly, not at you, but the situation rather, "its safe, right? Now that the young Stark is King? There's no need to worry-"

"Sunshine," he said gently but with a firm as he reached up and put his hand on the back of your neck, "please, please just listen to me. I know it seems safe, but there are always dangers out there. People will try anything to tear each other down, and in other parts of the kingdom they will not hesitate to do so, with or without the Stark King and Queen in the North. I just want you here...where I know I will come back to you safe and sound."

"What about you?" you were misty eyed by now as you tried to retain whatever little bit of composure you had to begin with, "what if something happens to you? I would never forgive myself-"

"Nothing will happen to me," he promised as he rested his forehead against yours, gently wiping away the few tears that had rolled down your cheeks,  "no one would dare tread on the Red Viper. I will always, always, come back to you in one piece."

"Promise?" you asked meekly as you let your lips graze against his ever so slightly. You could feel his tug into a minute smile as he nodded; you never wanted to let him go.

"Always."

"And you'll be careful?"

"Of course."

"And you'll take Jeron and the best of your men with you?"

"Who will that leave you with here?" 

"I have Asha," you reminded him of your young handmaiden that you adored beyond measure. You had been glad to reunite with her after almost a month apart, "and besides. I have all of Dorne at my side."

"I'm sorry about leaving so soon," he whispered as his hand started to slowly roam your body, pulling a small gasp from your lips, "I will make my stay as short as possible."

"Please do," you said softly, trying to stifle the moan from spilling last your lips, as he started to place light kisses along your jaw and neck, "I want you back here, in one piece as quickly as possible. I love you..."

"I love you too, sweet girl," he promised, "before I leave, let me show you how much..."

»»————-　♡　————-««

“What’s wrong?” Alistair asked, tugging lightly on your skirts as you turned to look at him. The small boy was watching you with wide, gentle eyes as he held a half eaten cookie in his hand. Your heart melted at the sight, and you quickly bent down to kiss the top of his dark, curly hair. You thought you had been masking your sadness and worry well enough, but apparently your efforts were not enough. It was hard enough to hide anything from a child anyway. 

“Nothing, sweet boy,” you promised him, although the lie felt weak on your tongue and out loud, lingering slightly too long in the warm Dornish air, “I suppose I’m just a bit tired.”

“Are you sure?” he asked as you nodded, but before either of you could say anything else, he stretched out his hand to you, the cookie still in it, “do you want this? Cookies always make me feel better.”

“You…” you didn’t have it in your heart to say no, so you took the cookie and bit off a piece before offering him the remainder, which he eagerly accepted. The two of you ate it in silence, and you felt a wave of emotion wash over you, and there was only a moment of hesitation before you scooped him up in your arms and held him tightly to your chest. He quickly snuggled up to you, “you are an absolute sweetheart. Thank you so much.”

“You just looked sad,” he said softly, “my sister always gives me cookies when I’m sad.”

“Well that’s very wise of you,” you said softly, putting him back down, “now, why don’t you go outside and play with the other kids? It’s a beautiful day.”

“Okay,” he agreed, going to the door to start heading out but quickly turned back to you, “if you’re still sad, you can come out and play with us!”

“Thank you,” you shot him a wink as he laughed, giving you a wave before he ran out into the warm, golden sunlight. 

“The stress weighs heavy on you,” Asha commented as she came back, causing you to give  her a tightlipped smile, “it is best not to worry.”

"How am I not to worry, Asha?" you mused as you started to cut up fresh fruit for a snack for the children, making it a point to avoid the berries that reminded you so much of your husband. Your hands were trembling slightly as you tried to focus on keeping your knife cuts neat and clean, "it has been over a fortnight since I have heard from Oberyn. This isn't like him..."

"Perhaps he's just very preoccupied," she offered, coming over to your side and motioning for you to hand her the knife. Sighing lightly, you gave it to her as doubts swirled your mind, "business can take longer than usual sometimes."

You huffed slightly as you leaned against the counter, "Arianne is home and safe...while couldn't the fool come back with her?"

"It will be okay," she insisted although she too was getting mildly worried. It wasn't like Oberyn to just seemingly drop off the face of the planet like this.

"What if it's not?" you tried not to cry and have a complete breakdown, "what if he's hurt o-or worse? What if he's..."

"Stop," she stated firmly, such an edge to her voice that your head snapped into her direction. The young woman seemed surprised by her own sharpness and she set down the knife and gave you an apologetic look, but you just shook your head, "Oberyn is not...he couldn't be. He's the Red Viper...he wouldn't just die."

Your lower lip started to tremble as you tried not to completely lose it. The idea that Oberyn could possibly be harmed, or even worse...dead was a possibility that you refused to fully accept. Something was causing a delay, you were sure of it. Oberyn wouldn't just...leave. Or unnecessarily delay his return. Right? Right. So then why were you questioning it?

"You're right," you agreed quietly, trying to hide the worry and concern in your voice. She didn't need to worry unnecessarily, and if she saw you worrying, she likely would also. You had to remain strong, for her, for everyone else, and most importantly for yourself. That was your job now, as his wife and one of the heads of the Martell family. You swallowed the lump in your throat before hastily pulling off your apron and tossing it onto the counter, "you're right, Asha. Its Oberyn - he would never let anything happen to him. If his return is delayed, its for a reason. A good one."

"Are you-"

"Stay here," you gave her shoulder a gentle touch, "please finish up my duties for the day. I have to return to the palace...I just remembered that I was to see Doran this afternoon."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Practically sprinting back to the palace, you pulled up your skirts and ignored the curious looks of the people you passed by. You didn’t care, nothing in that moment mattered besides getting back to Doran giving him a little surprise inquisition. He had been calm, terribly calm, the whole Oberyn time had been gone. If he thought something had happened to his young brother, he would have been worried, surely. Doran, you had come to realize, was a lot of things. He was a good man - smart, kind, funny at times, but above all else he was a man that was deeply devoted to his family. Just like all the Martells were; it was a trait that was strong through with all of them. Doran had to know something.

You waved off all the inquisitive shouts of your name and made a beeline for Doran’s study, opening the door without hesitation. You must have startled him greatly because the book that was in his hands fell and tumbled to the desk, and he made a small sound of surprise. Taking a moment to gather himself, he earmarked the page he was on, something that would greatly wound Oberyn if he was there to witness it, before setting it down and softly saying your name before turning to you. You could see that there was just a glint of nerves in his eyes.

“Where is Oberyn?” you asked him before slamming the door shut and striding over to his desk, a look of rage and anger on your face as your chest heaved up and down. Doran’s face paled as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how to answer you. Putting your hands on his desk, you stared the older man down, “where is my husband?!”

“My dear, there is no reason to worry,” he insisted softly, trying to calm you down before you flew into an even bigger fit of rage. It was in that moment that he saw a little of Oberyn in you and he wondered if it was him rubbing off on you or your true self coming out. In reality, you were a calm, composed person, not prone to sudden mood swings, but now, in between your worry and fear, you were beyond yourself, “Oberyn is fine.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked softly, a dangerous edge to your words, “unless you’ve been speaking with him or you know something I don’t. Now tell me, why wouldn’t my husband tell me where he was or what he was doing?”

“Sometimes the nature of these things is confidential and they can take time and-”

“I’m his wife,” you reminded him firmly, “he has nothing to hide from me - he wouldn’t. If you won’t tell me what is going I’ll just go to King’s Landing myself and find him.”

“You wouldn’t-”

“Try me,” you straightened up and crossed your arms over your chest as you stared him down, “who would dare to stop me? As much as I would hate to resort to this, I will use whatever pull I have, and I don’t think people would argue with Oberyn Martell’s wife.”

“You mustn’t resort to that,” he insisted quietly and you felt relieved and yet...you could see that he was still struggling with something. You signed lightly before softening your expression and coming to the conclusion that you might have gone on too fast and too hard, “I know where he is.”

“Oh,” you said in a surprised tone as you tried to figure out if that was a positive or negative thing, “oh. You knew this whole time? And y-you didn’t think to tell me?”

“It is was nothing to concern yourself over-”

“My husband is gone for weeks longer than he should be, I have been worried day and night and you didn’t think i should be concerned? If you’d at least have told me what was going on I wouldn’t be so upset!” you threw your hands up in exasperation, “I just...I don’t care about anything, but I just want to make sure he’s okay. That’s all that matters.”

“After he and Arianne finished their business in King’s Landing, Oberyn turned his attention to Old Town,” he explained as you almost jumped back in surprise. 

“Old Town,” you repeated slowly, almost not able to believe the words he was saying. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you tried to process the news, “Old Town...that’s the Reach...right by Honeyholt. Why on earth would he go there….without me? That’s my home...he didn’t mention…”

“He did not disclose his business to me either,” Doran admitted with a feeble sound from the back of his throat, “I pressed him to tell me and he refused. I encouraged the fool to tell you and he refused. Oberyn is a stubborn man when he wants to be and will not be forced into doing anything he does not fancy. I am sorry for I too have been a fool. I should have told you sooner - when he first informed me of his extended stay.”

“I just don’t...understand,” you admitted quietly, “what is there for him in Old Town? There’s nothing or there’s....”

Brothels. Plenty of them. Old Town was famous for many things but the most predominant things were by far the Citadel and the brothels that littered the land amply. You couldn’t even bring yourself to say the word out loud.

“Yes,” Doran acknowledged as you held out a hand out to steady yourself. You weren’t mad, you weren’t angry…you were just surprised. Surprised that he hadn’t told you of his whereabouts, of his intentions, of anything really. You were sure that you could tell him anything and vice versa. But apparently you had been mistaken, “I am sorry, young one. But I would not worry about his safety or well-being. He should return soon, and I am sure in one piece. The rumors about him...his tendencies...I would not worry about them. They’re just rumors - folly.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” you pulled your trembling lips into a tight smile in order to keep yourself from crying. You felt like a fool - not because you had trusted or loved Oberyn, you still did to both, but for worrying for nothing. It was not your position to be angry for taking solace in the comfort of other beds if that was indeed what he had done. You’d made that clear many, many times. But you wished he would have told you something, anything instead of keeping you waiting around. 

“Do not worry-”

“I am not worried,” you insisted meekly, “not anymore. As long as I know he’s safe, that’s all that matters to me.”

“You do not have to worry about his devotion to you-”

“Lady Martell?” the door to Doran’s slowly opened and a young man who recognized from around the palace grounds stuck his head in. You quieted any sniffles that had welled up and quickly dabbed at your wet eyes before turning to him. You offered him the warmest smile you could muster up as he looked between you and the older prince, clearly sensing that something heavy had just been discussed, “I-I’m sorry to interrupt. The Maester asked me to summon you.”

The Maester. Of course. In your haste and worry over your husband, you’d completely forgotten that you’d agreed to go and see the Maester that very afternoon. Sighing lightly, you nodded at him, “let him know I will be there in just a few moments.”

“The Maester?” Doran asked as you refused to meet his eyes, “is everything alright, my dear?”

“Quite,” you answered softly, “I suppose I will see you at dinner then. I-I’m sorry for coming and causing a scene for no reason.”

“There is no need for apologies,” he insisted as you offered a curt nod in response before seeing yourself out of his study. You did want to pity yourself and your foolish heart, but you didn’t have time for that now. That would wait until later, when you were in your chambers by yourself. 

Straightening your shoulders, you tried to hold yourself as tall as possible as you crossed the palace grounds in search of the Maester. You’d never met him before, but you were sure that he would be as kind as everyone else in Dorne. You just weren’t so thrilled that you’d have to meet him in this state. It was no matter though, he was the Maester after all, he’d likely seen much worse.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You knocked on the door to the Maester’s chambers and were quickly called in but not by a voice you had been expecting - it was a soft woman’s voice. Stepping inside, you looked around the beautiful sunlight quarters, already feeling at ease. Scanning the rooms you saw all sorts of vials and bottles containing liquids and concoctions of all different colors and consistencies. The soft, delicate scent of warm spices lingered in the air. At the other end of the large room you saw a woman, modestly dressed with a kind face that appeared to be around Oberyn’s age motioning for you to close the door.

“Lady Martell,” she said gently as she came over to you and held out her hand. Still confused, you reached out and shook it, “it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Y-you’re the Maester?” you asked as she slowly nodded. You shouldn’t have been surprised you realized - this was Dorne after all. Women could be anything they wanted here and were not subject to the harsh realities that most other parts subjected them to. In some ways you were relieved that you were here with another instead of a man. 

“Selsa,” she introduced herself as you told her your name, although you were unsure if it was really necessary. She had a warm, comforting presence and some of the tension who had been holding in your shoulders seemed to ease up, “and don’t worry, I was trained by a man-”

You laughed lightly at her little quip as she tried to get you to calm down, “it matters not. I trust you more than any man outside of Dorne. I have no reason to doubt your prowess simply because you are a woman, do I? That would be foolish of me.”

“A forward thinking woman from the North,” she said as she offered you a seat in the soft, plush velvet sofa she had near the window. You sat down it and the cushion deflated slightly, almost as if it was sighing along with you, “that must be why the Prince and all of Dorne adores you so.”

“I am but one mere woman,” you played it off, but you would not lie and say you didn’t appreciate the sentiment, “I just happened to get lucky.”

“Either way,” she said as she stood near you, “we are glad to have you here in Dorne. I hear you have fit in very well. Now tell me, what can I possibly assist with?”

You played with a loose thread of fabric for a moment, twisting it in your fingers as you wondered where to begin. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, and waited patiently for you to speak, “umm...children, I-I suppose. It’s just that for the moment. I want to...would like to...know if there was any way to know if I can have children. If there’s any chance of my husband and I...having one of our own.”

“Oh,” she seemed mildly surprised by your request, but her expression didn’t change or do anything to suggest her shock or that she was appalled. You just gave her a light shrug as she came over and sat down next to you, “well, there are some ways we can try and see. However, right now, there’s no definite way to know...I guess unless you are actively trying and it never happens. The things we can do are strong indicators but they're not exact. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” you agreed quietly, “sure, whatever it is, we can try it. I figure either way I’ve got nothing to lose.”

“I just have a few questions to get my bearings, “ she said as you motioned for her to ask, “do you menstruate regularly and for how long?”

“Yes...if I remember correctly since around my thirteenth year.”

“Have you ever had excessive bleeding or anything to concern you about it?”

“No.”

“Were you with anyone before your husband?” she asked, “sometimes when a couple is newly trying it can take a while for things to pan out…”

“We-we’re not trying,” you admitted almost sheepishly, “I-I just want to know...probably for my own peace of mind. But I was with someone before...he and I…”

“No need to expand,” she took your hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, “it’s okay. Let me guess - you were not careful to try and prevent a pregnancy?”

“No,” you scoffed at yourself lightly before the two of you laughed, “we were young fools in love and it was never something I worried about. But I’m sure if it was a possibility it should have happened…”

“Hmm,” she mused quietly before standing up and walking over to the other end of the room. She rummaged around for a moment, leaving you to wonder what she was up to, before coming back with a large clay pot. She stopped by one of the large cabinets and pulled something out before chucking it into the pot. When she was satisfied with her handiwork, she stood in front of you and held out the pot to you, “I hope you have to urinate.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s an old test,” she explained as you curiously took the pot, “it’s been around for generations, used by Maesters and healers to check for fertility. Like I said. It’s old and far from exact, but it’s the best thing we’ve got to work with for now. “

“Oh...so you want me to pee? In that pot...”

“Yes!” she said as you just raised your eyebrows at her, “I put some bran into the bottom and you just pee on it. Then we leave it alone for about a week and come back and check it. If there’s nothing there and its clear, it means you are fertile, otherwise if things like bugs or worms get into it, it is supposed to suggest infertility.”

“That’s…odd,” you almost laughed at the little test, finding it hard to believe that people still used it. It sounded absolutely loony, but if people had been using it for this long...maybe it was accurate. Either way, you decided, you had nothing to lose and your bladder was pretty full. “I guess it can’t hurt anything.”

“It’s up to you, My Lady,” she promised and you stood up nodding affirmatively. 

“I’ll do it,” you decided, “besides if nothing else it will be an interesting experiment, no?”

“Indeed,” she agreed, showing you to the room she used as a bathroom, “take your time and when you’re done you can just leave it in there. I’ll keep it safe for the week and we can take a look once the time has passed.”

“Sure,” you were nervous suddenly, and wondered just how accurate this would all be. Part of you was also scared that it would confirm the long buried doubt and fear you’d always had, “thank you…”

“It is no problem,” she promised, “and nothing to worry or fear over. We know here that some things are what they are and we cannot change them. The ability to conceive and carry a child does not define you, or anyone else. It does not define your heart or your character - remember that.”

“Thank you,” you answered quietly, relieved and comforted by her kind words. She knew what it would have been had you been married to another man in another part of the kingdom. 

“Of course, and don’t worry. This will stay strictly between the two of us,” you gave her a thankful look, “and once you’re back, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a look at everything in more depth. Just to make sure everything appears as it should.”

“Whatever you need to do,” you agreed, “I guess I just want some answers…”

“And we shall get them for you,” she insisted, “as best as we can.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Pushing the sheer curtains to the side, you immediately felt a wave of calm wash over you at the sunlight streaming into your chambers. There was a gentle, warm breeze, and everything was illuminated. You decided to change your linens, making it a point to keep things fresh and tidy for whenever Oberyn came back. It had been several more days since your conversation with Doran and there was still no word. You weren't worrying but -

"My lady," the door to your chambers practically burst open and Asha tumbled inside in her haste, almost falling to the floor. Rushing over to her, you held out your hand in order to straighten her up.

"What's with the rush?" you asked, taking her face in your hands and looking her over to make sure she was okay. Besides her erratic breathing and wild look in her eyes she appeared to be okay, "Asha?"

"It's the Prince," she managed to get out, "he's returned."

You could tell that something was wrong almost immediately. Dropping your hands from her face you ran past her, the linens already forgotten and discarded on the floor. You almost tripped over your skirts in your haste to run down the stairs, bounding them down two at a time as you rushed to get outside. 

Your heart was bouncing around in your chest wildly as  you tried to calm the horrible thoughts already racing in your mind. Every awful little thing that you could have happened was screaming as you burst out of the palace and through the throng that had gathered near the returned retinue.

“Oberyn!” you shouted at the top of your lungs as you spied his carriage and the crowd that was closely surrounding him. Jeron spotted you and his face, which was already in a grim expression seemed to fall even more. He tried to come over and grab you, in order to keep you from rushing straight to Oberyn’s side. His long strides made it easy and you were quickly held back in his strong grip. A small sound of frustration left you lips as you tried to pull away from him, clambering for any glimpse at your husband, “Jeron! Let me go! Oberyn-”

“You need to stop,” he said as calmly as he could, his heart breaking at the sight of the tears that were welling up in your eyes, “please, listen to me.”

“No,” you insisted firmly, “you listen to me! He is my husband and I want to see him!”

“Please, please,” he was practically begging you, a shake to his own voice as you gave up on trying to keep the tears that had pearled up from running over. You were a mess of emotion and all you cared about was seeing Oberyn. You stilled lightly and he dropped his voice, “listen for just a moment. H-he’s hurt. Badly.”

“No,” it was a choked out sob as your worst fears came true. This was what you had been worried from the start, from the moment that he first told you he was leaving again. The fact that he had been gone longer, that he had made a stop unbeknownst to you didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, absolutely nothing except making sure he was okay, “y-you’re lying! He’s...he can’t be hurt...”

“He’s in bad shape right now,” he said softly, an incredulous tone in his voice at the thought that the famed warrior ended up hurt, “I don’t know if you want to see him right now.”

“Oberyn,” his name well forth from your lips as you took advantage of his moment of indiscretion and pulled out of his grip and to the carriage. You shoved anyone who was in your way out of it and pushed to see Oberyn. You heard shouts of your name from Jeron, but you didn’t care - you needed to be by his side.

When the crowd seemed to part, already offering you pitying looks of sorrow you found yourself in front of Oberyn. He was sprawled out on a makeshift stretcher, and even if Jeron hadn’t told you that he was in bad shape, it was immediately apparent. His normally bright, bronze skin was paled and his chest was rising slowly, too slowly. No longer dressed in his normal regalia, but a simple pair of trousers and tunic, light in color, just enough so you could see the blood that had gotten on them from his abdomen. His face was covered in a sheen and his hair mused, a few lacerations on his face. He was not in bad shape - he was in horrible shape. 

Your knees felt like they were going to buckle at any moment and you couldn’t help the almost hysterical cry that left your lips as lunged towards him. Several of his retinue tried to keep you back, but you were too quick for them. You dropped to your knees as you reached for his face to gently grab it and try to pull him towards, tears flowing freely as  you blabbered incomprehensibly at him. He didn’t even open his eyes as you touched his face and leaned down so your forehead was pressed against his. The tears spilled from your eyes to on his cheeks, mixing in with the sweat that was covering his whole body, “O-Oberyn. No, no, no, please, please-”

“You have to get back,” someone insisted as you turned around and glared at him, not even caring that you were making a scene. A small ground had gathered around to see what all the excitement was about, and they were shamelessly staring. How dare someone tell you that you couldn’t be by your husband’s side, “he’s poorly-”

You quickly stood back up to your full height, wiping away the tears and summoning up as much of a commanding presence that you could manage. You are a Martell now, you reminded yourself, you have to be strong. And you would be damned if you allowed someone to tell you what to do when it came to Oberyn. Jeron rushed back over to you and stood by your side as you walked up to the man that had tried to stop you, “exactly. He’s hurt and he needs help! Get him inside and into bed now. Jeron - fetch the Maester immediately and tell her he needs help. We have to help him and quickly! The crowd needs to go and we need to tend him right now. Move!”

Without another word Oberyn’s men listened to your instructions and quickly sprung into action. It was almost like they had been shell shocked at the Prince’s state that they had somehow forgotten what to do. But in your state of panic, your wild thoughts somehow worked themselves out and you experienced a moment of clarity. Gods knew you wanted to fall apart then and there, but you could do that right now. Making sure Oberyn was safe and well was the first priority. 

You watched silently as the men carefully brought Oberyn inside and brought him to your bedroom. You trailed after them, wondering what could possibly have happened to cause such injuries to him. You knew he had enemies, hells, everyone in the Seven Kingdoms had at least one enemy, but you never thought someone would be so bold as to openly harm him. If anything happened to Oberyn, it would be enough to incite a war - if not by your hand, then by the people of Dorne. 

Time seemed to still in that moment as you tried your best to keep calm and not completely panic. You needed to be strong for yourself, for him, and for the rest of the family. Once he was settled in bed, and you waited for the Maester to come, you kneeled at his side, taking his hand ever so gently in yours, lacing your fingers together. You weren’t alone, several people were still milling about and monitoring him, but you didn’t care. 

“Oberyn,” you whispered softly as you pressed a kiss to his palm, “my love, my moon and stars. Please just...just hang on. You will be okay. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you. And when I find out who did this to you, I will make them pay. They will rue the day they dared to cross the Martells.”

He remained still as ever, and you wondered if he could even hear you. You hoped he could, in your heart of hearts you believed he could. Someone came in and brought some clean rags and water and you quickly set to wiping the sweat from his brow and cleaning the cuts on his face. They didn’t seem very deep and mostly superficial, which gave you the slightest sense of relief. When you were satisfied with that, you moved to pull off his tunic, deciding in your haste to just rip it off instead of trying to slip it over his head and disturbing him more. Your heart felt like it was seized up at the sight of the bandages, bloodied bandages, on his side. It was enough to make your stomach churn in horror as you wondered what was underneath. 

But before you could reach for them to inspect the damage, Sesla entered the room and quickly came to your side. You were grateful for her comforting presence and easily let her take over, pulling you to her help before quickly hugging you, “it will be okay, I promise. Nothing will strike down the Red Viper. I will make sure of it.”

“Please,” was all you managed to choke out as she turned to tend to Oberyn. You made a small, almost helpless sound as you watched her get to work. Jeron was standing in the doorway and his presence seemed to calm you down immensely. You strode over to him and he let out a long sigh. 

“I have failed you,” he said quietly as you shook your head, otherwise remaining silent. You gave his shoulder a squeeze as you realized that he must have been beating himself up over his. He was one of, if not the most, trust man Oberyn had, and yet...he was the one injured, “I promise you he’d come safe and I promised him that I’d return him safely to you. I have failed you both and now he lies in this state because of me.”

“No one could have known -”

“I am sworn to protect him,” he scoffed at himself, “and I have failed. I should be excused from his service and sent into exile.”

“Jeron,” you insisted firmly, “it was not your fault. I know you would do anything to keep him safe if you could. Right now we both need to be strong for him.”

“Yes.”

“Can you...do you know who did this?” you asked quietly as he seemed to tense up, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

“Yes…”

“Who?” you asked quietly and he made a small sound in the back of his throat. You could sense his reluctance to tell you the truth, “Jeron...who did this? Who hurt Oberyn?”

“Your family,” he answered so quietly you almost didn’t hear him. But once you realized what he said you felt like you had been hit in the face with a stone. Your hand went to your chest as you tried to wrap your mind around it, “it was your brother. He attacked him under the cover of night.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Your husband was lying in front of you, on death’s doorstep because of your brother. 

Your world felt like it was slowly crashing down around you. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Could you do some hcs for dating the teen titans?

Yes I can!! I just got HBO Max so I’ve been binging both the animated and the live action series haha 😂 Thank you so much for being my first request!

Also I’m guessing you’re referring to the original teen titans, so if you want the new teen titans just shoot me another request!

Dating the Teen Titans Would Include...

No Specified AU

TW: Language

Genre: Fluff

[DC Masterlist]

Word Count: 2.0K (About 0.2K per Titan)

Dick Grayson

You must have an insane amount of patience, truly, to be able to date Dick Grayson

If the joke book he probably carries around isn’t enough, I would’ve been certain that the ego would drive you away but nope you’re still here

And that’s how you both knew that it was true fucking love you’re both inseparable and the Titans know it.

To put things simply... he loves you and the Titans fear you.

While you’re both somewhat easygoing and hospitable, one would do well not to piss off one or the other because you both come as a package deal and you can kick ass when necessary you just choose not to embarrass Dick like that because you could totally outmatch him.

Don’t ask him that though he’d insist that he’d win.

Best not bring up the first time you met or else the Titans would never let him live it down

But in all seriousness, I see the relationship as rather lighthearted and enjoyable, maybe a bit spontaneous too. Want to go to the beach? Done. Want to kick some ass in Gotham? For sure. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Not to mention that the Titans rather look up to you, which is a definite plus. Not just anyone can date the Dick Grayson.

Wally West

As opposed to popular opinion... I’d think that this is a rather slow relationship. 

Speedsters are more than just familiar with how life just flashes by so I think Wally would like to enjoy the relationship at a slower pace, he wants it to last as long as possible.

With that said, you’re both menaces. His speed combined with your cleverness? No one is safe and the Titans know it.

The best moment of your relationship, although this is debatable, was when you and Wally successfully turned the Titan tower into an all-out prank minefield. Trash cans were covered with plastic, buckets of water places on doorways, even wardrobes were switched.

And all done in ten seconds, impressive. Nothing quite like starting a war in the Tower then grabbing burgers after, right?

Kind of cheesy but I can see you both having frequent movie nights that differ in genre according to month. You both probably rotate on who chooses the movie too.

Overall I think you both have a lot of fun together, if I were to compare the “vibes” to something, I would say a summer relationship (that obviously lasts longer than just a summer) where everything is just living life as it goes

Nah because like I said before you guys don’t want to rush things, and you’re always there to remind Wally to just slow down every now and then.

I should probably mention that this is a competitive relationship too, before I go, not everything’s a competition but everything’s a competition, you know? It’s a shame that the Titans often get caught in the cross fire though-

Donna Troy

Oh this one’s fun. Donna’s new to this whole “rest of the world” stuff but luckily she has a wonderful partner who’s willing to teach her everything.

A lot of the relationship consists of you explaining things, but it’s kind of endearing despite Donna’s headstrong attitude towards anything

But Donna is also the kind to be open to learning new things, and you’re open to trying new things. It works like clockwork, you’re both young and willing.

Now these “things” can range from baking cookies to extreme mountain climbing so be prepared for anything in this relationship.

Overall I think the Titans see you both as a really cute relationship, one that anyone could be slightly envious of and one that they’re glad that exists

But despite this loving relationship I think you’d both be absolute machines in a battle, I think one thing that is important to Donna is ultimately respect for each other’s abilities, having grown up on Themyscira and all, and maybe that one battle where you absolutely demolished the enemy was when she really caught interest.

Or not. It could’ve also been when you mistakenly ran into one of the glass walls in the tower and she developed a crush over you while you mumbled a series of curses.

This relationship is strongly built on loyalty, so I think you both would be describes as a pair of ride-or-dies who typically tend to lean towards the latter, especially when trying the more extreme things that Donna asked you about.

But overall I think it’s a really sweet relationship with few bumps, they’re still there but I mean that you’re both good at working through them.

Victor Stone

I feel like this relationship is very classical high school romance, you know?

Like walking to class together, holding each other’s books, stuff like that.

But on the other hand I feel like you’re both a very fun couple to be around, like you know how when you’re with some couples it feels like you’re third wheeling? Not these two. You feel like you’re part of the crew

You guys probably switch between fun couple and parent couple every now and then, I can see the Titans relying on both of you a lot for different things.

You and Victor are definitely the type to play games to determine who buys food, like things as simple as rock-paper-scissors to things as complicated as 8-Ball, and so far you’ve been winning at a ratio of 3:1.

Definitely a very trusting relationship, I feel like you both reach that comfortable stage faster than most, but it feels right, you know? I think you’d both understand that relationships go both ways.

There are probably times where you’re both in a teasing mode too, I think, but they’re mostly light hearted pranks, definitely not anything in the realm of what Wally would do

I kinda want to say that you’re a very active couple in that you both like to go to the gym together and idk take hikes together but at the same time I also want to say that you’re both inclined to stay home and play video games so I guess it’s like a 50/50

I can also see Victor being the type to do small acts of generosity as opposed to like buying gifts to show his appreciation for you, like I feel like he’s more inclined to help you with small tasks when he knows you need it, you know? Overall very cute, hehe

Raven (Rachel Roth)

Now this one’s interesting, you and Raven are certainly an interesting duo, but the most interesting thing would likely be how you met. Let’s say it involved a blood sacrifice, a bat, and a very old bicycle.

No you weren’t trying to summon her someone else was you just ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time anyway moving on

You’re both the perfect example of opposites attract for more reasons than just one. 

But what makes it better is that you’re always open and willing to learn and understand many of the things that Raven does and she appreciates it a lot

It goes both ways also! She’s always willing to do whatever you ask her to and you both end up having at least some fun even if it happens to be something she isn’t used to.

Random, but I think a favorite pass time for both of you is simply sitting in her room and reading books, weird, I know, but like there’s something inherently romantic about either of you excitedly showing the other a certain passage you both enjoyed or telling them about your book, it’s just so sweet.

She definitely has a personal bias towards you, obviously, Garfield can say a joke and she’d stare at him with a straight face but you could say the exact same joke probably right after him and she would crack a smile and she probably does that on purpose but it still feels nice

You also may or may not have caught on to her incantations and now you may or may not be able to perform these spells but you haven’t tried because you wouldn’t know how to but it’s just telling of how much time you spent together.

I only mention this because there was an event in which you corrected her incantation and suddenly hell fire appeared which she had to figure out how to get rid of and since then you both mutually agreed to both (a) not tell the Titans and (b) not say incantations out loud

Koriand’r (Starfire)

STOP YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE anyway you’re definitely both kinds to see beauty in everything

Maybe this relationship is rather dangerous considering you’re both curious people and Kori happens to be able to shoot lasers out of her eyes so maybe you should both be just a little more careful

You’re both probably very doting on both each other and the rest of the Titans and although you’re both well intentioned it has become a case of “oh no there’s two of them” but in like a teasing way

I feel like Kori is very open to sharing a lot of aspects about her culture with you, and you have always found Tamaran culture to be beautiful so it fits

Likewise you share a lot of things about your culture too and you both bond over finding ways to combine them together to make a nice fusion of understandings and it’s all a sweet combination

See a big thing about this relationship if that you both put your everything into it, it is an equal push and equal pull kind of thing where you both love each other with everything that you have and it creates this unbreakable bond that even non-supers have come to acknowledge

Though this also results in the both of you frequently being in your own world even when others are around and that’s something you both promised to fix but yeah...

It’s coming around, don’t worry. You’re both making active efforts but sometimes it just slips your mind and whoops

Now this should go without saying but this trust often leads to powerful combinations when in missions, you’re both fiercely loyal to each other and this often plays in overall favor so all is well

Garfield Logan

This is a fun relationship, definitely, and one that’s also very fulfilling.

You’re both definitely an outdoorsy couple, things like hikes, nature walks (which I guess is also a hike but I’ve been told otherwise), trips to the zoo, etc. but this all just builds the relationship

Also a very sweet one! You both have an unlimited amount of energy and love that you’re often expending said energy volunteering somewhere and helping others out

But when it boils down you’re both also very touchy, I think, you both like being together at all times and cuddles are a frequent occurrence but at the will of the other Titans you both do this in privacy

I also feel like this sweetness can also “flip,” so to say. As in if someone messes with either of you in the relationship the other will come running regardless of whether or not they could do anything about it.

To put it short, you both have each other’s back all the time. Literally, like I said you’re both inseparable. 

Despite these I think the relationship would actually be rather lowkey, I don’t think he would be the type to constantly showcase the relationship. I think he’d mention it like once to get it out there but after that he wouldn’t flaunt you around.

I just think that Garfield, even with his usual out and about behavior, is rather modest when it comes to this topic because you’re more to him than just someone to show off, you’re someone who’s important to him and overall he just wants you to be comfortable

If there’s one flaw in this relationship it’s that when you have arguments it’s just horrible, but also rather comedic. Neither of you talk to the other but you both end up still being in the same room together subconsciously. It’s kind of awkward but the coincidences are what makes the other Titans laugh and honestly you both make up within, like, a day or something.

[blazehedgehog]

I'm curious as to the few contexts that art can be separated from the artist that you've mentioned in an earlier post. Under which circumstances is art NOT inherently a reflection of the person who created it and their worldview/beliefs/opinions, no matter how incorrect those views and opinions may be?

Well, as tired as the topic may be, this kind of gets in to "death of the author," which is broadly used to mean that art is whatever you interpret it to be. What I put in to my art and what you get out of my art can be completely different things.

Ergo, if an artist creates something out of racism or bigotry or hatred or whatever, it is entirely possible that what the people see in that art will not necessarily be hatred or bigotry or racism. It could be interpreted as something else.

Now, yes, of course, there will be instances where somebody creates a piece of art and there's no denying what it's saying. It can only ever be the one, crystal clear message. But the more abstract an idea is, the more wiggle room there is to see what you want to see in it.

Doug TenNapel is the example I used last time, so let's go back to him.

What is Earthworm Jim? It's a story about a regular, every day earthworm who happens to have a high-tech alien superhero suit crash in to him, which grants him increased strength and intelligence. This leads him on a strange intergalactic adventure where he has to rescue a (literally) unnamed princess and defeat an evil alien queen (who is also responsible for creating his superhero suit). Along the way, Jim fights space crows (a worm's natural nemesis), mad scientists, disgruntled goldfish, a living booger, and even goes to hell.

There's not much you can interpret from the concept of Earthworm Jim. Some of that is because it's a simple video game without a lot of narrative. It was created to be weird, wacky, and random, and it definitely is those three things. The only questionable part is the fact that the two women in the story could be seen as problematic: both focus almost entirely on physical appearance. The villain is an angry, deeply ugly woman, who is defined by having a "slug for a butt." Whereas the "love interest" is primarily eye candy, designed to be so one-dimensional the joke is they never even gave her a name because her beauty is the only thing that matters. But, I would argue, these are small potatoes. It still sucks, and the Earthworm Jim cartoon even tried to flesh out Princess What's-Her-Name (meaning they acknowledged it was problem), but they're dumb jokes in a game full of dumb jokes. They're just a little worse than the rest.

On the other end of the spectrum, you have TenNapel's "Ratfist" comic, a story that starts out pretty similar to Earthworm Jim: an ordinary man is involved in an accident that turns him in to the super hero "Ratfist." And for a lot of Ratfist, it's the same kind of pseudo-random humor. Sort of like Earthworm Jim, there are some questionable elements -- there's a dig at furries, a dig at "sounding effeminate", but unlike Earthworm Jim, these themes only get stronger as Ratfist goes on. We learn that Ratfist is an atheist, and there are repeated hints that he's secretly curious about Christianity (biblical angels also appear as characters, later on). It also starts attacking political correctness. There's commentary on what it means to be rich and powerful, ultimately siding with the rich.

The further you get in to Ratfist, the more it stops feeling wacky and random and starts sounding bitter and angry, themes that TenNapel himself embraced after the comic ran its course.

So again, art can be separated from artist if the themes are abstract enough. Unless the artist bluntly tells you what the theme is, you are allowed the space to implant your own meaning. And your meaning, in and of itself, can become its own piece of art.

But, as I said in the original post, that gets scrambled the moment money comes in to the picture, because it gives much more importance to authorial intent. Money is power, and you have to beware who you're giving power to. Your interpretation of their intent may not actually be in your best interests. The more power they get, the clearer they can express their intent, which could be something hateful or even dangerous. The only way to fight back is to have more power than they do.

Which turns this whole thing in to a mess, obviously.

[hxlyhead-harpies]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You (R.L.)

Requested: Yes

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: The reader can’t stop staring at Remus and he doesn’t understand why

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mentions of injury and bullying, cursing

Title from: Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You by Franki Valli

The library was full and bustling with students. You sat near the back, your assignments sprawled out in front of you. And while your quill floated above your parchment, dark ink sliding off of the tip, your eyes were trained on someone across the room, your essay forgotten.

Remus Lupin sat on the other side of the library, surrounded by books and his friends. You watched as his eyebrows drew down in concentration and how he flexed his hand as he thought. The habit was familiar to you as you watched Remus quite often. It wasn’t in a creepy way but in a sad lovesick way. You were a Slytherin and the boy who had garnered your affection was a Gryffindor so it seemed as if the only way to know him was to watch him. The old house rivalry stopped most Gryffindors and Slytherins from ever interacting, so you soaked up Remus in any way that you could. So you found yourself watching him at meals and during class. You almost felt bad for how often your eyes were on him, you were almost surprised that you hadn’t burned holes into him from your stare. But to be fair, with Remus, there was a lot to look at.

Remus was tall and lanky with surprisingly broad shoulders. He was often slouched and when he was tired he’d roll his shoulders back and stretch. His hair was a golden brown with slight curls spilling from his head. It often flopped in his face when it got long and he was constantly running his fingers through it. His fingers were long and nimble with the nails bitten down and callouses against his fingertips. You often found yourself imagining what it would feel like if he slipped his hand into yours and if they were as rough as they looked or if the skin was soft. 

At this moment, you found yourself staring at his scars. The way they zigzagged across his exposed skin; one down his neck, one down his cheek, carving out his high cheekbone, and one running through his left eyebrow. You thought his scars were beautiful, adding a hint of ruggedness that juxtaposed his soft nature. You wondered how he felt about them and you wished from deep in your soul that he didn’t hate them. 

You knew how easy it was to hate scars. You had a nasty one that ran from the back of your knee down to your ankle, gently curving around your calf. You had gotten it when an older student had pushed you down in the courtyard in your third year. You had fallen back into a bush and your skin had gotten caught on a branch. While the pain of the injury faded, the pain of the memory had not. You wished, however naively, that the memories of his scars didn’t cause him too much pain.

He looked up from his book and caught your eye. The second he noticed your staring he glowered back at you. You flushed deeply and looked away. You had been caught staring a few times now and you had a feeling that he had found out about your feelings towards him. You nervously tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and continued with your essay. 

The next time you saw Remus was in potions class. His friends had dragged him over to the table next to yours and you could only assume it was because Lily was your partner. You heard them bickering quietly as they came over.

“Do we really have to sit by them?” Remus hissed under his breath. James huffed.

“Yes, we do, Lily is over there. Now’s my chance,” he muttered back. Remus made eye contact with you and you pretended not to notice when he rolled his eyes despite the pang in your chest. James gave Lily an exaggerated wave and she just scoffed before turning back to you. 

You had met Lily through Severus since he was in your house. He wasn’t your favorite person, you found him a bit creepy and his crush on Lily seemed to be a tad obsessive, but you were grateful that he had introduced you to the redhead. The two of you became fast friends, you loving her sharp wit and her loving your ambition and drive. 

Lily started talking to you about the upcoming Hogsmeade trip when James called out her name.

“Oi, Lily,” he said with a smirk, “are you really consorting with the enemy?” he asked, gesturing towards you. You felt your cheeks burn and you ducked your head. 

“Oh sod of James,” she replied, “Why must you always be so immature?” You smiled slightly at her words. You turned to look back up at the boys. James’s face was flushed with embarrassment at Lily’s words and Peter and Sirius were laughing at him. You stole a glance at Remus to see him glaring at you. You frowned and looked away. 

You sat in the Gryffindor common room with Lily while you worked on your potions project. It was getting late but the two of you wanted to finish the project early. Lily had offered that you spend the night in her room and you had agreed. You weren’t a fan of your dormmates anyway and would jump at any chance to spend a night away from them. They were loud and brash and had no issue with loudly proclaiming their thoughts on blood supremacy. It made your skin crawl.

“Ugh I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” Lily said, setting aside her book. You sent her a quick smile as she got up. When she was gone you continued working on your assignment. The portrait hole swung open and Remus walked in, seemingly coming back from his rounds. His eyes narrowed at the sight of you. 

“How did you get in here?” he asked harshly. You shrunk under his gaze. 

“Lily invited me. We’re doing school work,” you explained, gesturing down at your work. He crossed his arms.

“Where is she then?” he questioned. You shrugged.

“She’s in the bathroom,” you replied. 

“I think you should leave,” he responded. Your eyes widened.

“What?” you exclaimed.

“You should leave. You shouldn’t even be in here in the first place,” he pushed. 

“Now just wait a minute, Lily and I-”

“I really don’t care. Just get out of the common room and go back to the dungeons,” he said, practically sneering. Your mouth hung open in shock.

You had liked Remus because of how soft and kind he appeared to be. Everyone loved him and it was because he always wore a compassionate smile and had understanding eyes. But it appeared that you clearly would never be on the receiving end of his kindness.

“What is your problem?” you asked, feeling anger building in your chest. He rolled his eyes.

“You’re breaking the rules, you need to leave,” he retorted. 

“I’m not talking about just this, what is your problem with me? You always treat me so poorly and I can’t seem to figure out why,” you answered. Remus scoffed. 

“I don’t have a problem with you,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. 

“So you just have a problem with Slytherin’s then?” you spat, venom filling your voice. Remus’s jaw clenched. 

“I don’t particularly like blood supremacists and Voldemort sympathizers so I guess I do have a problem with Slytherins,” he said. You laughed. 

“You can’t honestly think that we’re all-”

“Do you know how many dark wizards have come out of Slytherin?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at you. “Because it’s quite a large number. And the way you seem to always be snooping around and staring makes me think you might be one yourself.” You gaped at him.

“You can’t actually be serious?” you sputtered. Remus shook his head.

“Just leave before I deduct any points,” he said quietly before turning towards the stairs. You stood up from your seat on the couch.

“Now wait just a minute, Lupin,” you practically yelled. He turned around with a clenched jaw. 

“What?” he spit out.

“There is nothing about Slytherin that is inherently evil! There is nothing evil about ambition or determination. Just because you have some twisted idea of what my house represents doesn’t mean that you’re right. I reckon that every house has the same chance of fostering evil. Blind bravery can be evil can’t it? And loyalty to the wrong person? And intelligence can be incredibly dangerous,” you shouted at him. Remus stared at his shoes. “And let’s not forget all the good wizards that have come from Slytherin! Professor Slughorn may be a bit odd but you can’t tell me that he’s not a good man. And for Godric’s sake! Merlin was a fucking Slytherin,” you yelled. Remus looked up at you.

“What about you then?” he asked with his arms crossed, “Where do you fall?” You swept a hand through your hair exasperatedly. 

“I’m not a dark wizard you dimwit! I don’t stare at you because I’m a spy or whatever dumb idea you came up with! I stare at you because I think that you’re bloody handsome,” you yelled. Remus’s eyes widened. 

“You- you what?” he sputtered. You groaned and began to gather your stuff. 

“Nothing, never mind,” you answered, shoving your parchment into your bag. Remus came up beside you and grabbed your arm.

“Wait,” he said, trying to get you to stop. You pulled your arm away. You turned to storm out of the portrait hole when Lily’s voice rang out into the room.

“Where are you going?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed. You turned to Remus angrily. 

“Ask him,” you responded before storming off towards the dungeons. 

A few days later you were sitting by the black lake with a book in your hands when you felt a presence beside you. You looked up to see Remus with his hands in his pockets. You rolled your eyes. 

“What do you want Lupin?” you asked with venom lacing your voice.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said softly, digging his shoe into the grass. You sighed.

“And what do you want to apologize for, exactly?” you questioned with a raised brow. 

“I’m sorry for being so rude to you and for insinuating that you might work for Voldemort,” He answered sheepishly. You nodded. 

“Thank you,” you responded before turning back to your book, assuming that he’d walk away. Instead, he sat down beside you.

“I just- I saw you staring at me all of the time and I was confused as to why you’d even do that,” he began, “And you’re a Slytherin and I just assumed that you had some motive or something. It didn’t even cross my mind that you thought I was handsome,” he said with a slight smile. You blushed and looked away. 

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable,” you murmured, “I didn’t realize I was being so obvious.” You stared anywhere but him. 

“If I had known why you were looking at me, I wouldn’t have minded,” he said softly. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up.

“Huh?” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“If I had known that you fancied me I would’ve just talked to you instead of coming up with an idiotic conspiracy theory,” he admitted. You looked at your lap. 

“Oh.”

“And I feel so stupid for thinking that you could be so terrible. I had no grounds for it other than a dumb stereotype. I’m really sorry,” he said. You turned to him.

“It’s alright I suppose. I just don’t understand how you jumped to the conclusion that I was some sort of spy because I was looking at you,” you said with a slight chuckle. Remus ducked his head.

“I don’t know, it never crossed my mind that you might like me. I’m not exactly much of a looker,” he replied. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“What are you talking about? I think you’re quite good-looking,” you admitted with a blush. A small smile played at Remus’s lips.

“Didn’t think that anyone would ever think that of me,” he said softly, his hand absentmindedly rubbing the scar on his cheek. You frowned and reached up to remove his hand from his face. You lifted your finger and traced along the scar, causing Remus to gulp and avert his eyes. 

“Well I think that you’re beautiful, every part of you,” you said as you finished tracing the pink line. His amber eyes were back on yours, a deep vulnerability shining in them. His eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment and you held your breath. Slowly, he began to lean in. 

He kissed you just as softly as you always imagined he would, though it felt better than you ever could have thought. His rough hand cupped your face while you tangled your hands in his silky hair. When the kiss broke you were breathless. You watched as he ran a hand through his hair and sent you a shy smile, his freckled cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink. Even now, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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