#he would do such a bad job

[buffmrtumnus]

Kinda wanna write an "Angron as Warmaster" AU

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[skunkes]

[erinwantstowrite]

Erin the comparison of JL vs the Avengers to Camp Jupiter vs Camp Half blood is toooo accurate 😭

JL: There’s an established system in place and contingencies for every foreseeable scenario

Avengers: fuck it we ball

peter thinks that the Avengers have it all together because they're his teachers and they're constantly telling him to use his brain but it's really because they, for the first time, saw their own "fuck it we ball" mentality in a teenager, and thought "oh my god maybe that is like... super dangerous." like when a parent was younger and they partied a lot and sometimes got into dangerous situations and thought "this is normal" until they had a kid and they quickly realized "oh that's why my mom was insane."

that didn't make them any better, it just made them hypocrites. peter just doesn't know that because they act super responsible when he's around

[deoidesign]

Ray of sunshine

(pre-launch page for their comic)

[starscream-is-my-wife]

A bit of my AU where Megatron is second in command, Ratchet and the matrix are pretty connected, I think he should be Prime (he doesn’t want to be lol)

[crossdressingdeath]

The thing is at this point seeing people talking like Lucanis hates being a Crow and wants out is an easy way to learn that they do not in fact understand Lucanis as a character. There is nothing to suggest that Lucanis is unhappy as a Crow. "The training was torture and he resented Caterina for it for a long time" and "he doesn't like being a Crow" are not the same thing. "He's hesitant at the idea of being First Talon" and "he doesn't like being a Crow" are not the same thing. Lucanis likes being a Crow. Is it the path he would've chosen for himself if he hadn't been born into it? Maybe not (but "this isn't where they would've ended up if their life was different" applies to most of the characters in this series so it's not really valid evidence re the question of whether or not he's happy; if you're going to claim that Lucanis clearly hates being a Crow just because he didn't get a choice you'd better also be claiming that Alistair hates being a Warden, and I don't think I need to say that that's not the case). Does he wish the training had been easier to bear? Maybe so (and he's for sure going to be a reformer). I think people miss that while he does acknowledge the Crows' flaws—especially with de Riva, he really is much more willing to raise the subject with a fellow Crow—he never once expresses any dissatisfaction with being a Crow beyond him not being entirely comfortable with the idea of being named First Talon. I assure you he doesn't want to be Rook's house husband! He's gonna go back to the Crows post-game! That's what he wants! And people ignoring that because they can't handle the idea that he can like cooking and knitting and caring for the people he loves and also genuinely enjoy being a professional assassin is a real shame, because they're ignoring one of the most fascinating parts of his character.

[moeblob]

North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

something I think we as a fandom don't talk about enough is the fact that during his first guide mission grover was 14. And satyrs age half the rate of humans.

grover was emotionally and mentally seven years old. seven. of course he couldn't save everyone he was seven years old!!!!

[rmbunnie]

Something kinda tasteless about the way that alongside the concerns of "Batman needs someone to rein in his aggression/edginess" (mostly a meta concern,) "Robin is a symbol of undying hope right alongside Batman, Superman, and the police system," and "now that the thought's crossed my mind I think being Robin would be pretty sweet actually," one of Tim's points for why he should be Robin at the end of A Lonely Place of Dying is "we need to show the criminals of Gotham that they can't just kill Robin and expect to get away with it!" Because. They can. That's exactly what happened.

Using that line of reasoning, Tim makes the claim that the idea of Jaybin's life as disposable and inconsequential is heinous and bad, his killing something impermissible, but instead of disproving said idea they allow it to become true and devote their energy to making sure it doesn't become widely known as such. By covering his death up, they actually are permitting his murder to go unaddressed and deeming it acceptable, even taking away the opportunity for it to be consequential to anyone outside of Bruce's inner circle by not spreading the news. As much as we say "oh Bruce was a great dad because losing Jason crushed him" and "he almost considered trying to kill the Joker one time," he in all tangible areas did not do anything about Jason's death. Setting aside the question of killing the Joker or not, it's still shown in Batman Year 3 that Bruce's reaction to Jason's death in the time til Tim showed up was to hide away everything Jason owned and carry on with business as usual, a little angrier. Bruce didn't make any changes or actually evaluate anything in a significant way after the warehouse and Jason's death didn't warrant any tangible consequence, that's evident from reading the comic. I know some may disagree, and I acknowledge the room for interpretation, but in order to discuss Tim's reason we have to concede that it is explicitly written into this specific comic as something Bruce and Tim both recognize as fact, because it serves as the foundation that this reason is built on: there is good reason for the criminals to believe there would no punishment for killing Robin based on the actions Bruce did or didn't take in response. The concern about the public realizing there are no consequences for killing Robin wouldn't be reasonable if it wasn't true, if there actually were.

While they recognize that Jason's death came to pass largely without consequence, the fact itself is less of an issue to both Bruce and Tim than letting criminals actually find out that it doesn't have consequence. They know it's unjust, the notion that Jason can be killed without repercussion (and in making an effort to minimize his murder confirm it to be true,) but their concern isn't for what actually happened to Jason or the lack of proper response. At least on the vigilante side of things, the problem is public perception and continuing to uphold an image of Batman as just and diligent while permitting him to ignore injustice against those close to him. There's no efforts taken to actually disprove the idea that killing Robin would lack impact, what Tim proposes is just making it harder to prove right.

I think the best way to word what comes across tasteless for me here (aside from the side commentary on the unstoppable might of the institution of police and how it's an exemplar of heroism) is that beyond Tim's victim-blaming of Jason during his stint as Robin, (discussed in more depth by people who can word it better than me,) in the base text of a Lonely Place of Dying, it is foundational to the initial premise of Tim as Robin that part of his motive for being Robin hinges on accepting what happened to Jason as something that cannot be allowed in their pursuit of justice or go unaddressed for reasons completely unrelated to the actual harm, and then intentionally erasing the event and the way in which it was allowed and did go unaddressed. No matter how much it's claimed in later comics that Bruce was faultless and Jason doomed himself, Tim's Robin came to be at least in part (in-universe) as a cover-up for the lack of action taken about Jason's death, and by extension as an effort to overwrite his time as Robin and an individual entirely. And thought it wasn't the way his character viewed it, Tim wasn't passively complicit in it or going along with a poor grieving man, the intentional and deliberate erasure of Jason as a murder victim and the injustice of his posthumous treatment was part of his opening pitch.

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[jackass-jones]

Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing

And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had

Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter

And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"

[wasabi-gumdrop]

dunmeshi modern labru au where Kabru wants to try fromsoft games to understand why they’re so popular.

he gives elden ring a shot and surprise he gets fucking rolled. can’t get past tree sentinel, tries to fight Margit at level 15, put all his stats in intelligence and not enough dex, hasn’t even found a proper staff, picked warrior as his starting class.

he’s ready to uninstall but he paid full price for this game, he’s at least gonna defeat one boss goddammit. so he tries summoning players for aid and just his luck, he summons cooperator WolfChimeraWyvern.

and this cooperator is SO GOOD, he solos Margit without getting hit, and Kabru is just. in awe. so he adds him as a friend.

and that’s how he meets Laios, expert on all things fromsoft (has literally read every item description, knows the most obscure lore by heart, don’t ask him how many hours he’s played, he has all the platinums)

[vaguely-concerned]

every so often, varric will write a black fox story. not anything fancy or for publication or anything, just for fun and because he knows hawke has a soft spot for them. ("an intrepid hero getting into and out of all kinds of trouble and the merry band of misfits following inseparably in his wake? can't imagine why".) some of them are experimental, some of them are straightforward retellings; they're generally pretty short and quick to do, so he allows himself to play around with form and genre and language more than he does in his professional work. stretching over the span of almost twenty years as they do, they contain some of his favourite pieces of his own writing, and some of the most '...was I huffing lyrium fumes or drunk or both for this one, hawke? what the actual hell is this' pieces. hawke keeps every single one of them. varric speculates that this is either because they're just that sentimental, or possibly that it's for future blackmailing purposes. he usually has one ready for their birthday. they have so much blackmail material on him anyway by this point, he figures, what's one more piece of ammunition going to do one way or the other.

varric finishes one of these black fox tales a couple of nights before he brings rook with him to minrathous — the last one. it's about the very last black fox story, the one where the black fox and his friends all disappear together into the depths of arlathan forest, where those in the know say you can find them to this very day, if you know where to look, or if you ever find yourself in trouble and in need of a helping hand. they'll turn up to aid a traveller in need, and disappear back between the shaded trees again once the day is saved, squabbling all the way, seeking treasures and unlikely quests yet unfound and unimagined.

they say on some days, you can hear them as laughter and friendly bickering on the wind from a couple of clearings over. it's not the end, it's just other adventures, some other place. that's the thing about stories. they're funny that way.

(once he wrote a book for his mother on her deathbed and read it to her through the comfortless and drawn-out hours of the troubled nights, and he burned the book the day she died and never spoke of it again.)

after he finishes the manuscript, he sits with it for a long time in the quiet and the candlelight before he wraps it up properly and sends it off back home to kirkwall. he attaches a note -- a story, to the best of all my stories, the one I'd tell forever if I could. take care of each other while I'm gone. first one to arrive saves seats at the bar, right? happy birthday, and send all my lack of love to the merchant's guild, as always. —Varric

he sends that to hawke. just in case. and then he gets up and he goes to find rook — it's time to get going.

[teyrnacousland]

Okay, I'm going to talk about the Illario comment from the AMA. This one:

It frames Illario in a way that feels like he deserves everything that happened because he is Bad. Viago, Teia, and Lucanis (and Caterina????) are Good and Illario is Bad. Illario had to be kept in check, because he is Bad. Lucanis belittles Illario because he is Bad. Caterina never respected or cared for Illario because he is Bad.

The idea that the reason Illario was treated the way he was is because everyone around him could just tell he was just inherently Not As Good As Them in some way is an awful thing to suggest, but it's also a bad storytelling choice, because it's boring? Illario is a tragedy, he's not a kids' cartoon villain. He's a victim of his circumstances, a victim of favoritism, a victim of abuse. It doesn't absolve him of his own choices (crimes), but it does explain them. In a way that is way more interesting, and tragic, and satisfying than just "well he was Bad all along".

BUT ALSO Illario isn't even that bad? Before *this*, what is the worst thing Illario has ever done? His job?? Is his crime not developing an abundance of empathy and altruism in an environment that was literally intentionally designed to turn him into a ruthless killer?? He is pretty selfish and only cares about himself and his family (which is, again, exactly how he was raised to be), but just because he isn't "good" doesn't mean he's evil.

In The Wigmaker Job when Lucanis asks him to, he rounds up the slaves and gets them to safety even though he thinks they should kill them because they're witnesses. Lucanis says he trusts Illario, says he "may be a snob, but he's true to his word", and he IS! Illario could have just left them and made up some excuse, and the only consequence would have been Lucanis being mad/disappointed, but he didn't. Both Lucanis and Teia mention that he is the one who follows Lucanis and helps put out all the proverbial fires Lucanis starts. Illario doesn't have to put up with any of this. He chooses to follow Lucanis, and chooses to help people when Lucanis asks him to. He's not evil, he is very explicitly neutral.

Because while Illario doesn't have empathy for strangers (which is a survival thing! He can't feel empathy for people he has to kill them! Lucanis is an anomaly) he has an abundance of it for Lucanis. He worries about Lucanis, he cares about Lucanis! He resents Caterina's treatment of not only himself, but Lucanis too. He wouldn't send someone he loves out to die on dangerous missions, and part of him resents that Caterina does it to Lucanis. ("If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore.")

And, genuinely, if Caterina had spontaneously decided to retire to some remote island somewhere after The Wigmaker Job and leave Illario in charge, what would happen? What horrible crimes would an "unchecked" Illario have unleashed upon the world that Caterina had to protect us all from? Firing Lucanis? Honestly probably not even that, since it's more likely he'd play up his own rashness in an attempt to convince Lucanis that he most definitely should not leave Illario unattended and should instead stay safe and sound by his side, since that's the tactic he uses to convinced Lucanis to join him in this note ("Would you truly leave me to my own devices? What would I do without you!")

Illario isn't a bad person, and Caterina wasn't "keeping him in check" oh my god.

[aardvaark]

i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun

hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-

parker: i dont know

hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?

parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?

eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?

parker: that’s what i said!

hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now

sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?

hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.

sophie: …….july 12th

hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?

sophie: ………… (guilty silence)

parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison

hardison:

hardison: what the fuck guys