#he was such a sweet kid too. insane
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It punches me in the gut to see the effects of bad parenting. Like your parents literally set you up to fail in real life
#my 5 year old cousin is like. genuinely out of control#bc his parents never tell him no EVER#like ever. I’m serious#he yells at his mom and argues w his dad and never gets told no#this kid is genuinely running the whole house#and I can tell this will spell disastrous things in the future#he was such a sweet kid too. insane
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
request: a reader that keeps messing around w him and at some point they mention they like him but then hoshina thinks theyre just playing... ..but they r not and he doesnt quite get it at first because hes so used to them joking around and then he ends up overthinking the whole thing until reader actually goes up to him to kiss him (or hug him very tight!!!!!!!! or both maybe!!!!!!)
maybe he liked them too but that thought didnt sit right with him because he doesnt believe hes worthy of something like that
notes: mentions the reader's face "flushing", reader is rather lively/outgoing, reader is not a fan of horror and is more a fan of romance, reader is a hoshina stan, one part is inspired by a scene in wakaba no komorebi, omg why are there so many notes I'm so sorry TY FOR THE REQ!!
wc: 2800
A new day, a new chance for you to shoot your shot at none other than your vice-captain of the third division.
You were always messing with him. This ranged from embarrassing pranks a grade school boy would menace his crush with, all the way to borderline hitting on him. There wasn’t a single day you’d forget to remind him he was stunning, and you’d always be bragging about him to the officers in the first division, regardless of the fact that you had absolutely nothing to do with the things you were bragging about. Simply put, you were loud about Hoshina.
Yet, every day, he'd brush you off and tell you to get to work. You didn't let that mind you much though, because you could tell he wasn't actually upset. You liked him unconditionally, and as long as you weren't actually bothering him, you couldn't care less if your feelings weren't returned. Well, you did care, but that wasn't going to stop how you felt for him.
Now, you said all of that, but naturally, you were still scared to just put your feelings out there so you hadn’t actually told Hoshina you liked him. You assumed he knew, but if you said it out loud, you’d have to hear an answer. And that, you were not ready for.
However, you weren’t going to stop messing with him anytime soon. Hoping one day he’d actually fall for you and one day you’d have the courage to properly tell him how you felt.
You were in the cafeteria with the rest of the division, having your breakfast while mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when you saw a post about a new movie in theatres. Immediately your mind went to possibly inviting Hoshina and you scrolled right back up, trying to find out what it was about. Horror. You sighed and continued to scroll. Horror was absolutely not your favourite.
���Oh, is it finally out?” you heard a voice from behind you say— your favourite voice say.
“Would you like to go?” you asked, whipping your head back to see none other than Hoshina Soushirou. Just the sight of him and your heart would flutter. How you loved him. “Together? Us? Just us? You and me?”
“Oh, like we have time to go,” he said.
“Man,” you said, knowing he’d say that. The entire defence force in general had been a lot busier ever since the appearance of so many identified grade kaijus. However, it did make you wonder if that meant he would if he did have time. No, he’s just declining your invitation politely, you’d tell yourself, bringing you back to your senses.
You’ve done this since always, and you do this every time without fail. Whenever a new shop had opened, or a new movie to watch had come to theatres, you'd always shoot your shot— hoping he'd say yes one day. Yes to a date.
Although you were used to getting turned down, it still wasn’t the best feeling. Recently, you've been letting it get to you far more than you used to. Maybe after all these times, the rejection did start to have an affect on you. Maybe you were falling for him even harder recently, or maybe you were starting to hope for your feelings to be returned.
Perhaps a relaxing day at the movies was exactly what you needed. Maybe you’d ask for a day off next week— just to go watch a movie you liked.
So you did exactly that, you filed a form to Captain Ashiro, requesting a day off anytime the next week. Preferably on a Tuesday, because movie tickets were cheaper on Tuesdays.
A few days later, you were called over to her office. You assumed it was just to let you know if you could have your day off and if so, when it was. To your surprise, when you walked in, it wasn't Ashiro but rather Hoshina there, working away.
“Hoshina?” you asked, pleasantly surprised. “I didn't expect to see you today.”
“You didn't?” he asked, genuinely perplexed. “But this is my office?”
“Your office? I thought it was Captain Ashiro’s?” you said.
“It used to be, but I took it over a little while back,” he said. “It's just a lot faster for me to do the paperwork.”
“Oh… I see,” you said, rather surprised you weren't already aware. There was a moment of silence.
“It was rather recently that I had officially started working here,” he said, somehow noticing that you were dejected. Oh, how did he always know exactly what to say? You were never going to get over him at this rate. “Anyways, you requested a day off next week?”
“Um… yes,” you said. Now you felt a little awkward about going to a movie alone, and you really hoped he wouldn't realize where you were going.
“On a Tuesday… are you going to see that movie after all?” he asked and he noticed you stiffened a little, so he immediately followed with, “Sorry, you don't have to answer that. You're absolutely free to take that day off.”
“I am,” you said. Half a lie, because there was no way you were watching a horror movie, let alone by yourself. But you were going to the movies. That was true. “It's been a while since I watched a movie in theatres, I realized.”
“I've never gone alone actually,” he said, imagining you were planning to go alone. “Or are you going with someone?”
“No, I'll be by myself,” you said, but instinctively you asked him out again. It was practically in your subconsciousness to do so. “Unless you'd like to tag along?”
There was a long pause before he said anything, and his unreadable expression only made the silence feel longer. You were expecting a quick rejection again, so the silence was absolutely killing you— you hadn't expected it one bit.
“Actually, I'd like to,” he said. “If that's okay with you, of course.”
You couldn't believe your ears. What did he say? You couldn't have possibly heard that right. What had he said?
On the other hand, he had no idea why he said yes. Why after turning you down all these times? Why now? He had turned down every offer of yours because he knew you were just messing around. You didn’t feel about him the way he felt about you. He knew this because you had done this since the moment you joined, and you couldn’t have liked him back then— you hadn't even know him yet.
But still, he hoped you were serious.
“You're joking,” you said.
“Were you?” he asked. This must be why he said yes. He wanted to know so badly— he was rather exhausted of playing the guessing game with you.
“Not at all,” you said. You thought he had known, but perhaps not. “I've never been. Not for a moment.”
“Then, let's go,” he said with his poker face on, but he was a little shaken. He didn't think you were at all serious, let alone that serious.
“Hoshina, is this a date?” you asked, and you could tell your cheeks were flushed. However, there wasn't much to be embarrassed about at this point, so you might as well have asked before you drove yourself insane.
“Okay…” you said, but you were spaced out. You had no idea what had prompted this all of a sudden, but this was the moment you had been waiting for, for your whole life. Yes to a date.
A date? Was it a date?
“Would you like it to be?” he asked. You had no idea what he was thinking.
“Yes,” you said. “Of course…”
“Then, let's go on a date,” he said. “On Tuesday, at 2pm. I'll pick you up from your unit and we'll go and watch a movie.”
It was yes to a date. A date with none other than the love of your life. You were going on a date with Hoshina Soushirou.
You left the office soon after, thanking him as you left, and you were lost in thought. You truly felt like the world around you had stopped, but at the same time, the time passing was a blur. You thought it’d be forever before your long awaited day, and you’d have plenty of time to calm yourself down and prepare, but it had rolled around before you knew it.
You put on what you personally thought was your best date outfit, but you had no idea if he’d like it. You really hoped he would. Now, you were sitting around, waiting for him to come pick you up. It was still 10 till 2, but he was always ahead of schedule— he hated making people wait, so he was always early. A few minutes later, you heard a few footsteps and some rustling outside your door, and you were pretty sure it was him. You waited for a knock, but it wouldn’t come.
Quickly, you opened the door and it was him, waiting by your door with his phone in his hand, opened to your messages with him.
“Oh,” he said. “Sorry, were you waiting?”
“No,” you said, immediately. “I just finished getting ready. Why didn’t you knock?”
“Well, I’m early,” he said. “Didn’t want to rush you.”
Gosh, you were on a date. With him. You had actually never seen him in anything other than what he wears at the defense force, and as much as you liked that training shirt he had on, he looked so incredibly gorgeous today. And this was just for you. He wore a black corduroy turtleneck, and a simple long coat to go over it. You were still so lost, how had you gotten to this point in the first place?
“You’re stunning today,” he said to you as he smiled a little and you swear you felt your heartrate spike. Did he even know what he was doing?
“Not to mean you aren’t usually…” he said immediately. “Sorry, I never say the right things when they count, do I?”
“No, I thought my heart was going to stop,” you said, frankly. This was the way you always were, there was no point in getting flustered all of a sudden. “You’re gorgeous everyday, but even more so today.”
“Well, I’d have to be glad our date is today then,” he said.
While the two of you walked to the theatre, it was rather quiet. Far more quiet than you usually were. Suddenly, you were so nervous, and there was nothing to say to him. So many questions filled your head but none of them felt appropriate to ask. You felt like the spell would break if you took one wrong breath. You wanted to know why he was here with you today. Why he said yes all of a sudden, why he took a precious day off to go on a date with you, and what he was thinking when he said yes. You wanted to know how he felt about you, or at least how he felt about this date.
“I’ll go get us tickets,” you said, as soon as you got to the theatre. “Please pick a snack and a drink in the meantime, I’ll get the tickets quick.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, I’m getting the tickets, and the drinks and snacks, for that matter,” he said. “Besides, we haven’t even decided on a movie yet.”
“We haven’t?” you asked. “I thought we were watching the movie that came out the other day?”
“What? Why would we?” he asked, genuinely confused. “You don’t even like horror." He pointed at another poster on the wall. "Why don’t we watch that one? Romance is more your type of thing, isn’t it?”
You thought you’d cry. If there was one thing that was worrying you about this date, it was the movie. Horror really wasn’t for you, and you weren’t sure if you could watch the movie without showing it.
“How did you know?” you asked.
“It’s obvious,” he said. “You’ve never asked me out to a horror movie, have you?”
Just how did he notice? “But didn’t you want to watch that one?” you asked.
“Please, I can watch that whenever, on my own,” he said. “I’m here with you today. I’d be a horrible date to make you watch it with me.”
“Thank you,” you said, starstruck. “At least, let me pay for it then?”
“No way,” he said. “I’m taking you out today.”
“No, I asked you out,” you said.
“Don’t care!” he said and went off to get the tickets and snacks.
You were in love with him, and you were going to tell him. You were sure he knew, but you had to tell him properly. It wasn’t even that you were hoping for him to return your feelings, you just wanted to tell him.
You thought you wouldn’t be able to focus on the movie at all, but you were, strangely enough. You were watching a cliche romance movie that couldn’t possibly be about you and Hoshina, no matter how much you tried to stretch the narrative, but you loved it. It was a sweet movie, a type that you've always loved, and you were watching it with the one you always loved. You couldn’t be happier.
So as soon as the movie was over, you went for it.
“Hoshina, I love you so much,” you said, and kissed him. On the lips.
His eyes were wide and his cheeks were faintly flushed. You weren’t expecting that, not even for a moment.
“You’re serious?” he asked.
You were confused, did he think you were playing around all this time? “Yes, of course,” you said. “I’ve loved you for forever.”
“Since… when?” he asked.
“Since the day you saved me, 3 years ago,” you said, immediately. It was like you had waited all your life to answer this. “You definitely don’t remember, but I remember like yesterday.”
He wouldn’t reply, but he was still looking at you surprised, so you continued on.
“I thought I had told you this actually. Not the part that I liked you, but the part that you saved me. I joined because of you, Hoshina,” you said. “Yes, you’re my vice-captain and the love of my life, and I’m one of your officers, but you were my hero and I was your biggest fan for all this time.”
Something in him shifted. It felt like someone had woken him up from a weird haze, and showed him how much colour there is to the world. You joined for him. Not for Mina, not for Gen, but him. To you, he was a hero. To the one he treasured most, he was irreplaceable.
“I love you too,” he said, with the softest smile you had ever seen from him. He was serious, you could tell.
“No way,” you said.
“I do,” he said, but he could tell that you were a little skeptical, or at least puzzled. “I love the way you work hard, the way you joke around, but actually care so much. I love the way you give everything your all. I love the way you always smile when you see me— it makes me feel so special. You make my day, absolutely every single day.”
It took everything in you to stop yourself from sobbing, but that made Hoshina laugh. He kissed you this time, and tears rolled down your cheeks anyway.
Wiping your cheeks with the pad of his thumb, he kissed you on the forehead.
“I absolutely adore you.”
BONUS:
Later that day, you were going to open up the one cardboard box you still hadn’t unpacked. The one filled with your posters and merch of Hoshina you had collected through these years. You were hiding them, because you thought it’d be a little too weird if you had those just hanging around, but finally, they’d see the sunlight. You would never have even imagined this day when you had those in your room, dreaming of him. If only you could tell your past self— just how thrilled you would’ve been. Well, not that you were any less thrilled now.
The next time Hoshina came to visit you in your room, he was utterly flustered, it was absolutely adorable. He couldn’t believe people actually bought the merch they sold of him, let alone put them up— and in the room of his loved one nonetheless. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, because it made him so incredibly happy.
He was thrilled that you did, in fact, love him the way he loved you.
#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#kaiju no8 x reader#kaiju no.8 x reader#kn8 x reader#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina x you#bros im sorry why is this SO LONG#THANK U SM FOR READING#i really hope you enjoyed but genuinely was this even all that interesting. i cannot even tell. (I FEAR IT WASNT TRULY)#is hoshina just the right amount of sweet or is he ooc sweet. that is the question. (I FEAR THE ANSWER I REALLY DO)#sorry guys in my head this sounded a lot better like a whole lot better#THANK U SM FOR THE REQUEST THIS WAS SO SO SWEET I HAD SM FUN WRITING THIS ACTUALLY#sweet hoshina will always be so fun to write i will never be free from this#request#omg also im so sorry if you find the 'hero' thing corny#i love the word hero unironically#i think its such a lovely word that's viewed as too corny to say now (SO SAD)#also so insanely unrelated but wakaba no komorebi is a shoujo manga w like multiple couples#and one of the mls in one of the shoujos is LITERALLY SHOUJO HOSHINA I KID YOU NOT#hes literally SOOOOOOOO my god hes just SOOOOOOO such a ml. so hoshina.
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sorry but the only reason destiel even works is because wincest did it first and also better
i've been thinking a LOT about this and want to get it all out so here it is. if dean was truly in love with cas, he would not have hesitated to tell him so when he literally knew cas was about to DIE. we don't see that. we see shock, grief, disbelief (an angel loves me!), we see him trying desperately to process his best friend is leaving him but nowhere does dean say, or imply, with his eyes, or words, that he's in love with cas. of course he loves cas - cas is family - and cas is not exactly his brother, (closest is brother-in-arms), despite his insistence in an earlier episode - but he's not in the kind of soul-crushing love that cas is with him. he's not in love with cas, and can't be, because he's already in love with sam.
when dean dies, he gets as close as he possibly can to confessing to sam he's in love with him without actually crossing the line. he would never to that to sam - he would never do to sam what cas did to him - because he would NEVER do anything to make sam lose his agency (sidebar: not that cas doesn't respect dean. but his love confession is almost wish fulfillment - i'm going to confess to dean i love him and go out in a blaze of glory and then leave without dean ever even having to reciprocate because i know he doesn't love me back. and he's absolutely right).
dean has already had years and years of not having his own agency from john his whole fucking life! john did whatever he wanted to dean and dean took it because like hell was he going to subject sam to that bullshit. which brings us to sam and dean's childhood - not much is known of their early years before sam went to stanford and that's fully on purpose. we can almost see dean as not only a brother figure to sam but also a father figure. john leaving for weeks maybe even months at a time - how the hell did dean and sam manage to survive? by dean doing whatever he had to do. emphasis on whatever.
you see, john absolutely knows that dean is beautiful. whether you read their relationship as purely abusive or abusive with a sexual component - dean definitely did questionable things to get food on the table for sam, an aspect that's more in fanon that canon but reads true to the heart of the show. sam doesn't know because dean wanted a normal childhood for him. and dean would rather die and go to hell for 800 years than force sam to make a choice, make any choice, of a romantic and/or sexual nature related to him.
back to dean's death. this is again the closest thing to a love confession that dean can make - my baby brother - take out the word brother and it would be not only romantic but stunningly true - he raised sam, this child who grew up to be a man, this child who loves him - waiting outside sam's dorm for hours - can you picture him pacing in the snow, waiting for the one thing he wants but can't have??? why does that sound familiar? oh, right, because that's what cas said but in dean and sam's case it would be actually true. how cruel and unbelievably insane it is to find your soulmate in your brother, the one person you have that you love unconditionally, not just because they are your family but because you are in love with them, and you can never have them as long as you live.
re: american gothic and soulmatism. very different from crimson peak where thomas fully realizes the unhealthiness of the codependent incestuous relationship with his sister and wants to be free and happy with edith. but sam and dean don't want to be free. in their minds, they already are free as long as they have each other and only each other. not getting in all the other romantic relationships that the brothers have with other people bc it would take too long, but they already fulfill that need for each other and don't need anyone else...like i'm sorry i love my sister but i want to get married one day to someone else. if you read their relationship as purely platonic, it doesn't work at ALL.
the kripke early seasons fully leaned into the gothic horror aspect of it all and incest is definitely a part of that...dean and sam literally cannot live without each other. they can't do it! sam dies in dean's arms and dean can't even wait five fucking minutes without making a deal with a demon lmao. he can't eat. he can't sleep. their love is a perpetual resurrection; they keep killing each other and bringing each other back to life. because they don't know how to stop. they are a singular mangled fucked up entity. i read a fic once where the author described sam as hating his own body because it was separate from dean's and dean's whole presence was a phantom pain. and yeah. just yeah. they can't live without each other because they ARE each other.
seasons 1-3 to me are spn at its soul. that's it. cas only works as a side character, if he's a brother (like, purely platonically) to both sam and dean or just unrequited romantic love for dean. the trope of an angel falling in love with a faithless man who can't pray only works if dean hasn't been in love with sam the whole time.
#wincest#anti destiel#supernatural#dean/sam#deansam#samdean#supernatural meta#spn#spn meta#meta#*#i actually don't hate destiel but come on....everything about destiel can be applied to wincest. everything!#“i'd rather have you cursed or not” - like are you kidding me? who is more cursed than sam#the vessel of lucifer?!?!?!#also destiel is too sweet for me. there i said it. cas makes dean better and a little less codependent with sam#but i want dean and sam to be fucked up for eternity#buried alive together.#arms reaching out for each other. do you get me#this also works SO well if you keep in mind cas was insanely rude to sam when they first met#because he fucking KNEW that sam was in love with dean#and dean felt the same way
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Can you remind me what the weird sex interview with Toriyama was about
i was driving myself fucking mad trying to find this interview because i KNEW it existed i just couldnt find it immediately but here you go x
which is an insane thing to say because a few questions beforehand he said this:
#snap chats#if this is the one youre talking about anyway#reading these is so insane because toriyama did end up having a daughter#which- admittedly- lead to one of my favorite About The Author segments#where he was talking about how he wanted to be a 'strict' father but ended up just doting on his kids#and asked the very good question 'whats wrong with doting on your kids'#LIKE SOMETIMES he says sweet and charming things like that and then i remember. these exist#forgetting the part A Part Of This Interview Too where he said if he could cheat on his wife without being caught he would#we all know how i feel about cheating so ......#but yeah there you go. rip toriyama i aint tryna write a hit piece i just like remembering these wack ass things you said 💀💀
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What would u do if I told you I'm about to adopt another baby?
#emma. emma emma#she has always been so sweet and cute and and#TODAY MILO AND I WATCHED STAGE PLAY AND THE EPISODE WAS FOCUSED ON ROBBIE AND EMMA#AND. IT MAKES ME THINK THAT EMMA REMINDS HIM OF HIS SISTER (BEFORE HE DIED) AOUGH#and Andrew... having a sister... oh gos#Milo was to one who said this but#he looks so surprised but sounds almost happy. and that makes me so ill#also. they remind me a little of silver red and crystal#silver being andrew crystal being emma and red being robbie#like. robbie is the lonely kid who doesn't seem to have anyone to be by his side and to support him#emma is the sweetest and even when she feels bad is always there to support thw others and it's almost like a leader in her own way#and andrew. well. he is the lonely sad guy who had a terrible childhood and IDK HIS PERSONALITY REMINDS ME SO MUCH TO SILVER TOO#I'm so insane rn#I don't know much of Emma's lore. I need to read it#but the idea of the 3 of them being family.... aough#I know that Wu Chang Ursa and Magnolia and Luchino are kinda taking care of robbie and Andrew almost at the same time#well. Robbie is more like Luchino's baby and Magnolia is more like Andrew's aunt BUT#AOUGJHH#I DON'T CARE. ALL OF THEM ARE MY KIDS AND TAKE TURNS TO TAKE CARE OF THEM WIWIWIIW#EMMA COME HERE YOU ARE GOING HERE TOO#🕳️ // blah blah#(☆) 。.゚— Andrew Kreiss#(☆) 。.゚— Robbie#should I make a tag for Emma?#yeah why not#(☆) 。.゚— Emma Woods
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the usage of tentacles in stranger things is so graphic lol like 🤨 i know what u are, bro(s)......
#making them undulate and pump things and fucking . breed inside of ppl or whatever the fuck like hello for the love of god hello#and making it so that it IS henry. it's all Him. it's Always been him. a Man made monster. imposing his horde on innocent ppl#some of which were kids. and he calls himself a predator. like. HELLO?!#he's so yuckydisgusting and the fucking. jesus. the hellraiser inspo...... the primal fear inspo...#i go insane every time i think abt it all abt HIM he's so slimy....... (said while cackling evilly bc i can't wait for s5) 🔥😈🔥#literally so fucking dark like. HELLO?! [#thts why i scratch my head any time someone Still calls st a superficial flashy vapid show bc . literally what are u talking abt bro do u#not remember wht they did to my sweet boy william in seasons one and two................... the vine... the slugs.... the possession....#do u not think tht has like. ramifications. are u new to horror ......... do u not Think abt the things u watch and consume do u not Listen#he wore that boy like a glove and will REMEMBERS he still FEELS it in his body he felt it EVERYWHERE he tried to make it STOP he said GO#AWAY it had FOLLOWED him not just after he came back but before then too and it KEEPS coming back i jus. to be a gay boy in#the eighties and have tht all done to you by a man. will who clings to his childhood and the time from 'before' it all went to shit#will who hides and doesn't tell ppl how he feels will who is coming into his own finally in the same season tht they wage the final war#against the great evil like. stranger things the show that you are will byers the character tht you are i lov u both sm .#henry who had his autonomy taken away from his and so he takes it away from others henry who perpetuates the cycle of abuse i jus. AHHHHHH#this show................ PHEW#csa tw#rape tw
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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
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POV: you were an undiagnosed autistic kid even though it was glaringly obvious to anyone with even a passing knowledge of autism
this was from my diary in 2012, making me 13 at the time… I was just a baby and it SHOWED. elsewhere in the same diary I discovered what fanfic was, and mentioned other random notable events in my actual family life that I never thought I’d find an approximate date for or didn’t know happened so close together
#my parents are so sweet but how the fuck do you put up with this strange child and not start to have Questions#I always wished I’d been diagnosed early so I would have KNOWN what was the deal with me and understood a lot more about myself a lot sooner#but my partner was diagnosed as a little kid and he struggled SO bad for it. like. insane levels of bullying#so had I known I may not have slipped under the radar as easily? back when I was little it was so much more misunderstood#so if I’d been diagnosed that would’ve probably implied that I would’ve been struggling to the point where it was painfully obvious#and that WOULD have made me a target too#anyway hoped you liked this little stroll down cringe lane
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∆ Silver, you're very good at helping other silver's - how come you're so mean to yourself? Yourself. Not the other versions of you.
I’m not mean to myself. I’m hard on myself, but I’m not mean to myself. I have to be to be the strongest trainer. If I don’t have some sort of self discipline, I’m not reaching my goals.
I know that’s not what you mean.
I don’t know. I know, but I also don’t. Why I’m so abrasive, that’s just who I am, but I also care too much. Why do I care so much? I couldn’t tell you. I can’t piece together why I care for others sometimes. I couldn’t tell you why I get so worked up over it. Repeating things that are in the past in my head so I know that I shouldn’t do worse like that. But beating myself up? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard but people have told me that I don’t and shouldn’t have to? So clearly I do that and I’m stuck in my own head about my attitude all over again.
Changing isn’t easy at all. I hate that. And yet I have to grin and bear it. Shoulders apparently I can cry on but that doesn’t fix the problem with me.
You can guess the rating yourself.
#pkmn irl#real pokemon#pokemon irl#//OOC: great question why did they make him so Sad#//OOC: but agh yeahhh. he’s such a sweet kid after his redemption arc but he sets his emotional goals too high for himself and i (holds him#like a limp ferret.#//OOC: It just feels so… human to me in a way I can’t describe#//OOC: like no duh maverick it was written by a human but he’s a character very important to me like (and worlds silliest sentence)#//OOC: like shadow the hedgehog in learning to love and learning to love again.#//OOC: it reads splitting to me in a bpd way to me but I couldn’t accurately portray such.#//OOC: but also. just teenager emotions at the same time.#//OOC: ‘mistakes he can’t erase’ are you trying to kill thirteen year old me personally#//OOC: literally idk who reads my ooc rambling but I’m insane come join me.
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swashbuckler rogue my beloved
#i would never regret the storm sorc/tempest cleric combo that i chose for Bonk because they're an absolute damage MACHINE#but sometimes i wonder who i would be if i had gone down the martial road instead#bonk literally has a pistol and a sword and they're pretty fucking good with both of them. you normally don't see that in sorcerers.#i think my attack bonus with the sword is higher than my spell attack bonus which is kind of insane#next time i level up i have to go through all my spells because honestly im starting to get a little tired of the same old lightning bolt#PLUS now i have transmuted spell so i can just take pretty much any damage spell i want and turn it into lightning damage#for my sweet sweet bonuses#there is just some part of me that needs to play a rogue though. swashbuckler. arcane trickster. soul knife. phantom. anything#normally i don't like playing stealthy characters but there are so many good rogues out there#even a “ruff boi” a la magnus burnsides (fighter/rogue)#multiclassing my beloved too i guess#so hard for me to make a character that i don't multiclass#i might even go paladin/bard with one of my newer characters eventually#inspired by calliope petrichor#but he's different. he'd be a bard because he's a theater kid#but also i want to play a straight up paladin because i want to explore with being a character who has a connection to a god#because i've never done that before#and the themes and motifs are too strong#idk man we'll see how it goes :)#i love dnd#ALSO i feel like i cant make him a bard because i already have TWO OTHER FUCKING BARDS#GUYS (sweating) IM NOT A BARD MAIN I SWEAR#maybe for my paladin i could just take magic adept and learn some bard spells or something? like beverly naddpod? maybe#but it's not about the spells... it's about the performance checks...#i really should be working on my finals right now#im so serious if you've read this far down 1 hi :) and 2 if u have dnd characters PLEASE tell me about them. bats my eyelashes. please
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baby fever strikes again
#numi post#that kid was so fucking cute what the fuck#he was so sweet 🥹#GOD i love kids i want one of my own#“i am not financially stable enough for this”#i keep reminding myself#“i am too young”#...#but holy fuck#baby fever#is fucking insane#hey kid-who-i-won't-name-for-privacy-reasons#you are so goddamn cute and i love you#i've only known ****** for 10 minutes#but if anything happened to him#i would kill everyone in this room and then myself#send post
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God this isn't even getting into how aggravating it is when people write Vash as too soft
He's not a sweet uwu softboy he's a fucking cunt. You guys don't get him like I do.
#speculation nation#its the stampede fans i know it is. in largest part at least.#like YES HES KIND NO HES NOT A DOORMAT. STOP!!!!!!!!#hes so fucking BITCHY and complains constantly and is so obnoxious to everyone#has So much fun pissing people off Always#yes hes so sweet and kind when it counts. and SO sweet with kids#he's got Layers man that's the thing. someone can be a good fucking person and also an asshole.#and thats him. thats him!#im like This close to giving up on stampede fic Period bc if i have to read another way too soft vash characterization im gonna go insane#also sorry im being so bitchy tonight this fic fucking activated something in me & im coping. by bitching.#Bitch Mode Activated so im complaining about softboy vash characterization. my beloathed.
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"My dear OV, I want to thank you. For what you ARE. In my life. (For being you. For being in my life.) For being here now. For your faith in Ukraine and (the) Victory. For strengthening me. For all the years, hours, minutes... And once again for THIS year. For the way you represented Ukraine. For our wonderful children, for OV and KV. I congratulate you on your DN. (Congratulations on your birthday.) I wish you ONE thing. That the day of the victory of the PEOPLE (humans) over the ORCS comes soon in your life. In our life... In the life of all the people. I wish, (I) love, (I) congratulate! Beloved (Darling / Sweetheart / Love) OV, your VO"
Volodymyr Zelenskyy congratulating his wife to her 45th birthday with a traditional birthday post
#alternate translation in brackets#no one touch#let me cry and die#this post is so sweet and heartwarming and sincere and intimate and sweet#🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#he really said look at my freaking beautiful wife#BECAUSE THAT PHOTO#THAT SIDE PROFILE#just once in my life i want to be that pretty#also proud husband mode is on level 1000000 on this post#AND HOW SWEET OF HIM TO INCLUDE THE KIDS I CRY#of course he would include them 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲#vova being insanely thankful for having his two kids will forever be the sweetest thing ever#and he just wants to be reunited with them and olena#and he knows they suffer too and they also have that wish#NO ONE TOUCH ME IM FINE#vova being incredible thankful for her support and being in his life AND WHO SHE IS AND STRENGTHENING HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#ALSO THAT LAST LINE#THAT LAST LINE#😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️#volodymyr zelensky#volodymyr zelenskyy#wolodymyr selenskyj#president zelensky#president zelenskyy#selenskyj#president volodymyr zelenskyy#olena zelenska#zelensky
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god this fic is so cute it has wen ning come to visit wwx and tell him about a house lsz got for him and all the kids come by to stay and there's cats there and they have a little garden 🥺 wn truly deserves the world and it's always been a bit depressing to me to think of him just living in the woods and occasionally dropping in to help out the kids on night hunts illegally. that's family!! that's wwx and lsz's family! he's a gentle and sensitive and quiet man and he has literally nobody besides them and he's not even a living human anymore and should be surrounded by loved ones!!!
#uncle to wxs kids please.....uncle to lszs kids if he ever has them....uncle to all the sect kids honestly hes a sweet and gentle guy!!#he can protect them well too with that insane corpse strength#AND GIVE HIM A KITTY CAT!!¡!#ficblogging
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Truly the shittiest people get dealt the best cards
#my parents aka certified cruel and deranged are bidding on some edwardian house in a city centre like DERANGED#my bf's parents live in a house that's too small for 4 people and then his dad has parkinsons and he can barely get around the house anymore#like it cannot be right that that man is living in that house... sooner rather than later he should have a downstairs bedroom and bathroom#but it's just not possible it's fucking insane and unfair#and my parents are money grabbing greedy scum bidding on a derangedly expensive home#btw i didnt grow up that bizarrely wealthy like we were doing well when i was a kid but it was just my dad working#im not to be pitied at all lol but the lifestyle my siblings living at home are getting is just deranged#and then the bf's kind sweet parents are just super fucked.
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E word?
Endearing.
#look anika's talking!#how do i even explain this. uhm#see we all hate tommyinnit (i bought his merch and wear it once a week)#but as a kid on the internet and a very sweet person in general. he was rather e-word. but ofc we couldnt say that#bc we hate him and he's awful and the unfunniest bitch on the planet yada yada. but then another streamer would say smth like#''oh yeah i met him the other day and he was the sweetest kid. yeah he's got a very abrasive persona but irl he's very polite and kind''#and we'd all go. oh that fucker. being e-word again#think it started bc we called him endearing openly a few too many times that it got to be like. you know the drill he's e-wording#answering an ask#sorry if this sounds insane its bc we were#anon
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