#he was really horrible

[trainer-aer]

Half a year of freedom - Life Update

05.14.2023

__

Today is officially 6 months to the day of when I got out of my abusive engagement and moved on with my life. It's also Mother's Day! I had a lovely brunch with my family in downtown Chicago for the occasion! I had the most delicious cinnamon roll and French toast!

The seasons are changing beautifully right now, something I didn't quite get to witness last year. I moved here about a year and a week ago to the day and by the time I got here, the seasons had already changed from spring to early summer. Not that summer or winter were very intense, but.

I've got my credit card paid off entirely aside from this month's expenses which will be pretty easily covered by my income. I didn't expect leaving an abusive relationship to come with such swift financial recovery, too.

My new apartment is fully unpacked and the other day I got the glass fronted ikea bookcase I've wanted for a few years now and got all my uranium glass and sea glass put out properly! Though, I've found probably over 3000 pieces of glass in the lake in the past few months so I may need a second cabinet soon, ha!

It's also really nice to not have to pick up after my ex anymore. I honestly don't think he'd have ever contributed to the house if I didn't ask him to and asking him was awful because he always made a huge deal about it claiming I was blaming him for not doing things or criticizing him. I couldn't say anything without it being taken the wrong way and analyzed to hell and back for subtext that just wasn't there. It got the the point where walking through my own life was like walking on eggshells trying not to piss him off somehow.

I hated how my home could never be clean with him around no matter how much time I spent cleaning every day. It was like I lived to serve this shitty guy and to build the life we had talked about wanting (found out later he had lied about wanting all of it, because of course he did - he was a pathological liar) and he didn't care and still found reasons to be angry at me for asking for help maintaining it. All he really wanted a servant he could abuse, not a life partner.

Because I have such a lovely home now, I'll be welcoming several friends from out of state this summer! @paintroller is coming on Wednesday and my best friend Aaron is coming in a month! And because I work at the aquarium now, I can take them to all of the cultural institutions for free as a soft benefit of working for one of the bigger ones in the city!

Speaking of my job, I love every second of it! It's so surreal having my dream job now and to be where I've wanted to be since I was 9 years old! It's amazing to work around some of the coolest animals on the planet every single day!

Every day I gain a little of myself back and every day I am so grateful I didn't marry that bastard.

[fairsweetlonging]

imagine an au where shen yuan transmigrates into a blank slate npc with very little system involvement, traveling around for a while until he's found by yue qingyuan and taken back to the sect because apparently shen qingqiu went missing around his transmigration period and shen yuan looks exactly like him, so it must be him, but then a few weeks later when he's just settled in on the peak and accepted his fate the real shen qingqiu shows up who was just on vacation and everyone forgot.

now there are two shen qingqiu's, one of whom is the real one and the other an amnesiac they gaslighted into believing he is shen qingqiu.

anyway—shen qingqiu has a new didi now!

[angry-kid-with-no-money]

"Nora doesn't know anything about the things she writes about" "aftg is terrible queer rep" "the queer characters in aftg are so problematic"

Idk guys maybe the book series abt problematic ppl set in 2006 and written in the mid 2010s shouldn't be expected to hold up against scrutiny of what we consider to be moral and correct now, in 2024

Idk tho, idk

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

[sunderwight]

SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a kind of mimicry demon.

He still gets tasked by the System with replacing Shen Qingqiu, except this time he actually has to pull off an imposter role on multiple levels, while the real Shen Qingqiu is stuck in a coma due to his qi deviation. Initially he thinks the situation is going to be temporary -- just take over until he figure out how to get the original goods to wake up -- but Shen Jiu's condition proves to be more difficult to repair than just waiting. Shen Yuan buys special side missions from the System to find items and artifacts to keep Shen Jiu alive, mainly because he doesn't want to be stuck playing this part until Luo Binghe kills him, but also after the first couple of times Shen Jiu regains some consciousness (not enough to leave his bed), Shen Yuan starts to feel kind of... bad for him. Too. Despite everything.

Shen Jiu, of course, is deeply suspicious of this doppelganger that has obviously taken advantage of his weakness to infiltrate the sect and steal his identity. He initially theorizes that the creature must be keeping him alive because it needs some aspect of his vitality in order to keep posing as him, but as they share more encounters is forced to concede that the thing might just be insane? And weirdly softhearted. Over time and by feigning sleep to listen in on Shen Yuan's muttering, he figures out that this all has something to do with Luo Binghe, which he's not pleased about. But he can't deduce what. (Luo Binghe doesn't get to move into the side room in this version of the story, because Shen Yuan has the house on lockdown for obvious reasons, but he does still get to make Shizun's meals!)

Anyway, Shen Jiu doesn't manage to conveniently wake up before the Immortal Alliance Conference. Shen Yuan has to throw Luo Binghe in, which he hates, but along the way he manages to recover that magical flower macguffin that won't work on Without-a-Cure (which he doesn't have in this AU because his species is immune to it), brews a tea that finally fixes Shen Jiu, and then fucks off to go mope about Binghe being in the Abyss.

Shen Jiu doesn't tell anyone about his demonic replacement, for a variety of reasons. One, he's punishing the other peak lords for not figuring it out themselves. Two, he's punishing himself for the fact that a literal demon replaced him for like 3 years and everyone considered it an improvement. Because it was. Three, he has mixed feelings that might potentially amount to not wanting to hunt down and kill Shen Yuan, but he's not admitting that even to himself.

Everyone thinks that Shen Qingqiu's return to asshole form is a result of Luo Binghe dying, and that his sudden new research projects are part of him like, trying to make sense of a senseless tragedy, and coping. But no, he's still trying to figure out why the fuck Luo Binghe was important and why Shen Yuan inserted himself into their lives only to basically just do Shen Qingqiu's job while he was indisposed, and then fuck off the moment Luo Binghe left the picture again.

After... healing Shen Jiu. Also. For some unfathomable reason.

But this version of the System's just happy that the plot is back on track! And surely it will stay back on track. Yes? Problem solved, right? Shen Yuan? Definitely nothing is going to mess with the rest of the story, cough cough, wait why are you visiting User 01, and what would you, a demon shapeshifter, need with a Sun & Dew seed...?

[bananas-mode]

I know this scene has been redrawn a million times over but I had to

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[bet-on-me-13]

Dark Secret

So! Danny was discovered pretty quickly after his first battle against the Lunch Lady. His hair turned white, and his body shape was a little different, but he largely looked very similar to his Human Form, so it was only a matter of time really.

Thankfully he was assumed to be a Metahuman.

He didn't look like any other Ghost, the closest resemblance was his hair and eye color, but even that could be explained away. Also his parents were adamant that he couldn't be a Ghost because he was still Sentient and not Evil, so he must just have powers that just looked similar to Ghost Powers esthetically. Probably as a result of the Portal Accident, which he used as an explanation for how his powers awakened.

Danny also avoided using the more obvious Ghost Powers like Intangiblity and Invisiblity, sticking mostly to the most basic Flight and Energy based Powers he got to be as generic as possible. If anybody saw otherwise, it was a trick of the light or a trick of the Ghosts.

Danny became the Hero of Amity Park, always pretending to be something else. It was his darkest secret.

Unfortunately because the public never saw a Ghost like Phantom on a positive light, their perception of Ghosts never changed. Nobody believed that Ghosts could be anything aside from Evil, and as the knowledge of Ghosts and the Ghost Zone began to spread around the world that perception became more and more commonplace.

If Danny had been revealed in the early days, it could have been salvageable, but nowadays if his secret was revealed he would have to convince the entire world that everything they knew about Ghosts was wrong. It would practically be impossible.

Even when he joined the Justice League when he became an Adult, he still had to hide his secret. Years of hiding made sure he could conceal his true Nature from the magic users on the team, but he still had to be distant from the team just to be sure.

While all this was going on in the Living Realm, his adventures in the Ghost Zone still happened as normal. He saved Pandora and the Acropolis, dethroned the Tyrant King Aragon, managed to defeat Pariah Dark in Single combat, and even became recognized as a Great Warrior by the Far Frozen.

After years of hiding, he actually felt more at home in the Ghost Zone than in the Human Realm. There he could be his true self without having to hide a huge part of his identity, and people accepted him for who he was. Sure he had enemies there, but he also had more real friends outside of Tucker and Sam.

He was content with his double life, acting as a Hero to the Public while hiding his true self, and secretly going to the Ghost Zone to be himself among his friends and even his enemies.

Of course it all came crashing down when he Anti Ecto Acts finally passed.

Now there was a Legal Path for Humans to enter and profit off of the Ghost Zone. Beyond just being able to legally kill and experiment on Ghosts, the Acts also allowed Humans to claim parts of the Ghost Zone as their own Property, enslaving the Ghosts residing there, and destroying the Ecosystem of the Zone because there were no laws preventing it.

And now Danny had a choice.

He could either side with the Humans to which he was a Hero, allowing them to destroy the Ghost Zone and Enslave the denizens living there with the full support of the Government, or he could side with the Ghost Zone, betraying Humanity and the people he had been protecting for years, but trying to save those who had accepted him for his true self years ago.

To him the answer was obvious.

[obihoebikenobi]

Logan can't sleep.

It's too damn loud in the apartment. The sound of cars racing by, police sirens, whispers of the late night crowd wandering the streets from club to bar to taxi.

He can hear it all, sensitive ears picking up each sound through Wade's thin window panes. The flicker of lights doesn't help, adding to the sensation of too fucking much.

It makes Logan tense, makes his skin crawl, makes adrenaline course through his veins despite his attempts to tamp it down. For so long he'd been living in the outskirts of population, avoiding the influx resentful stares that came with cities.

So Logan can't sleep, hasn't slept, save for the few moments of overwhelming exhaustion dragging him over the ledge into the shallow depths of muted sleep. It's only ever for a short while, never long enough to cure him of the heavy-limbed pull of weariness.

Instead, he paces, watches raindrops trail down the windows, scours the apartment for something to fidget with until the first glimmer of sunlight replaces the dark and he can take the dog for a walk.

But of course, eventually Wade notices, because Wade notices everything.

Before Logan has a chance to protest, Wade has purchased a set of noise cancelling headphones, and an extra cot to shove in the corner of Al's bedroom which sits further from the busy street so he can try to sleep more during the day while she's gone and he isn't in danger of hurting her in his sleep.

Wade makes him a cup of warm tea every night, feeds Logan a full meal of pasta and bread, sets up black-out curtains and pulls them closed an hour or two before they head to bed. Wade takes him out on runs, lowers the temperature in the apartment a couple of degrees, runs Logan a bath a couple nights a week when he sees the anxious tremor in Logan's hands.

Wade presses himself close when they crawl into bed, holds him without teasing and Logan lets him do it without a cursory excuse.

It takes time, days and weeks, but it works.

Sleep comes, not easy but easier, and Logan finds himself relaxing into the schedule, into the grounding arms that curl around his side and pull him close under the sheets.

It's getting better because of Wade, the same Wade who looks at Logan like he hung the goddamn stars. Logan looks back at him the same way, because Wade is surprisingly gentle, and Logan hasn't felt gentleness in years.

There's a burning sensation deep in Logan's chest one night as he drifts in the hazy waves of interrupted sleep. Something like fondness, need, reverence, affection.

He decides to tell Wade in the morning.

[wwillywonka]

☆GET TO KNOW ME♡: [11/?] Favorite Characters

LOKI - Marvel Cinematic Universe (2011-2023)

- I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to- because I've had to. -Okay, explain that to me. -Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. -A desperate play for control. You do know yourself. -A villain. -That's not how I see it.

[fraternum-momentum]

tits be upon ye

[egophiliac]

I have never been more concerned for a JP update from your art than I am seeing a Cheka knowing the context of Leona’s dream.

My bois ok right?????? My sweet nephews ok right??????

well

uhhhh

I'm sure the real one is fine :)

[alizalayne]

it's so amusing that when you're an author who is like any minority, you have this caveat where if your book gets banned, you kinda have to mentally acknowledge whether it was banned by Bruce, the one really bigoted guy who wastes everyone's time in florida. idk how bruce is doing. you don't need to learn who he is really which is why im not using his surname. but if you have a book out commercially, bruce has probably written "damaged souls" on a form about you. so there's a street cred element to all this like did people really have a vendetta against your work...? or was it just bruce again

[mummer]

jace being the first one to jump to call valyrian exceptionalism a farce ties so well into his bastard identity and the fact that he’s had to baldly lie about himself for his entire life to fit the image of the perfect heir…. like of course he would understand that better than anyone. people have died to protect that lie, his lie! rhaenyra telling him this garbled incoherent nonsense prophecy like it changes anything about what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. little normcore guy in targ family hell beating down his bad rebellious thoughts with a hammer every morning trying to reconvince himself of the lie, of the idea he could be the perfect shining promised prince but he knows something is Wrong. a totally mundane trivial death at the centre of the spiral. quentyn voice i must be the hero the hero never dies.

[blamemma]

when you have the HEAD OF BRAND PARTNERSHIPS for cash app, one of the main guys to ORCHESTATE the deal of the VISA CASH APP RB racing team IN TEARS ON HIS INSTAGRAM STORY BECAUSE EVEN HE DOESNT KNOW you have to seriously start asking questions about how horridly red bull have treated this whoooooleeeeee fucking thing? hearing him say lets bring the honey badger back ignited something in my current desolate soul

[pick1e-party]

something about how Charlie would rather feel something familiar than something different even if the familiar is terrible it’s almost comfortable, going to bed every night with a bad feeling in his stomach as a kid and laying really still but when he doesn’t have a reason to be scared anymore he eats cat food and drinks beer and huffs glue so he’ll feel sick because feeling rotten is what feels familiar and going to bed without a stomach ache feels too different and even if the alternative is feeling sick and nauseous at least it’s the feeling he’s used to