#he used to live in the general area
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Also I know its very hard to be a 911 operator and like ur trained to keep people calm and collected and to reassure people on the line it will all be okay but when i had to call for what i thought was an attempted break in she did not help whatsoever in fact i felt so much more stressed cause i didnt believe a word she said cause she sounded so unsure
#so i used to have such a major fear of being awake and turning to look at my front door and seeing the knob turn and the one night it did#i was watching fucking mindhunter of all things and i heard something weird looked up at the door and the knob was turning#it was 2 in the morning and dark and i quietly but quickly got up grabbed my pepperspray and my bat and went to look thru the peephole#and its just some fucking dude in a hoodie and hes like looking down at the knob so i cant tell anything and i go to wake my mom up#so hard to wake her and then when i do shes no help shes whisper yelling at me and i end up having to dial 911 cause she wont#and ive been down this road i tell her everything so efficently and clearly and quickly and shes asking for description#and i tell her thats all i can give her i cant see him and im watching thru the peep hole on the phone like tryna prep myself best w my bat#just incase i gotta use it and then he walks away a bit and stops and like stares at the door and goes and like trys to do the same thing#on the neighbors door but no ome lived in either at the time#and shes like well do u wanna go outside and like ive given her a real description at this point im just kinda narrorating at this point#and im like no and shes like are u sure? and il like yeah and he left to the parking lot at this point and i gave her every detail i coulds#but i like honestly couldnt make out much if his face cause he was looking down mostly and had a hoodie on#he comes back to the door and is doing it again and at this point im like mother talk on the phone im just gonna be ready#and we have a deadbolt lock which im very greatful for so i feel decently confident they arent gonna get thru it#eventually he stopped and left and no one and come to help and so it was kinda just like okay whatever then a bit after#two cops show up and they're like hey is it this guy? and my mom went to look cause i had jsut gotten a ton of adreneline#and was tryna not to puke and it was and they ended up calling emts#it turned out to be like an older guy and they were like he might have taken something but they were pretty sure he had dementia#cause if i remember right they got a simillar call and it was also him and they said they were told at some point that#he used to live in the general area#so they took him to the hospital to get checkd out#but 911 lady did not help at all and my mom wasnt any help either so i spent a good 2 hours being like okay be ready to bed broken into
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Hunting of the Dragon
What if the Arkenstone really was a Silmaril? (very late, but inspired by arofili's @funwithfanon prompts from last march!)
click for quality | closeups & details under the cut
Galadriel, Celeborn, and Thranduil are the only people on the right side of the mountains that a) have fought a dragon (mostly in the war of wrath) b) remember the Hunting of the Wolf and c) are mentally stable enough to be trusted around a silmaril (more or less)
so of course they end up having to fight silmaril-raged smaug. (he sat on it and now it's stuck to his bald spot)
since the sindar don't have metal armor galadriel is the only tank, and therefore the person on dragon-stabbing duty.
celeborn is the spearman in charge of keeping smaug from escaping or mauling someone else (and also making sure the silmaril doesn't fall on galadriels head, because at that point it definitely would still burn her)
thranduil is supposed to be doing air control to keep smaug from flying up and torching everyone, but he decided it would be a great idea to jump-dive at the dragon's head.
(version with fire because i couldnt decide which one i liked better)
#silm#silmarillion#lotr#lord of the rings#the hobbit#galadriel#celeborn#thranduil#smaug#elrond would have also been volunteered for dragon-stabbing if only he lived less than a year of travel west of the lonely mountain#daeron is probably in the area but he has never fought a dragon and also would probably have a nauglamir-trauma breakdown#of all of them galadriel is probably the most used to dealing with the silmaril light since she basically has a silmaril for hair#celeborn and thranduil lived in doriath for long enough to at least know what to expect#the dwarves are currently too scattered to be of much help (unless thrain wants to pull an azaghal)#unfortunatley smaug has wings; less respect than glaurung; and far less things to distract him#so a mid battle funeral would be rather ill advised#galadriel is reckless enough to dive at smaugs face#but she is also experienced enough at dragons to know that stabbing it is generally more effective
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Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic
#personal#instead of progressing the discourse into idk more inclusion of women of color and trans women#it went in the direction of like glorifying women being stupid and romanticizing beauty standarts#also weird centering of men all over again in feminism and in general for some reason#remember in the early 2010s when emma watson was like obliterated for that 'he for she' campaign#because it prioritized men in feminist discourse and then thats the exact direction where things went later on (and where it is currently)#people care more abt like 'haha this is my golden retriever bf he drinks respect women juice!' than about actual women speaking abt feminis#like being a feminist isnt about social change and women prioritizing each other its abt how dudes are hot when they do the bare minimum!#also have you noticed the rise in lesbophobia both in the sense of persecution of lesbians themselves#and of lesbians relationships and culture which other wlw are also part of (its giving lavender menace)#and also remember how we had the me too movement and then immediately after#everyone still fell for a smear campaing against a victim of domestic abuse?#anyway i would really love to get back to basics of like women should support each other!#and beauty standarts overwhelmingly negatively affect women and girls!#and we still need to incentivize girls to seek out intellectual pursuits especially in STEM and leadership roles!#because we continue to be underpresented in those fields and the only way to enact change is to bring our perspectives to those areas#instead of asking politely for guys to throw us a bone!#also stop acting like its cringe to openly and vocally center and prioritize women in every sphere of our lives possible!#and also maybe go back to actively trying to do that! and considering that a good thing!??#because we're the ones who should have our backs most of all?? idk idk#also where are the teeth??#why is everyone so afraid of being angry now???#its like some people circled back to being afraid of being mistaken for man-hating or something#just for pointing out common sense aspects of oppression without adding an asterisk about how men suffer too!#i thought we all knew there is no such thing as reverse sexism!!!#idk!!!#and this isnt me condoning choice feminism many women are evil and actively work against their own interests#or antagonize other women to make themselves feel important such as terfs etc#but idk its like everyone internalized that 'well women can suck too' so hard that its become like#'*most* women suck and we dont even have to keep trying to empathize and prioritize each other and our issues anymore'
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A win for the moving out eventually plan. My brother said yes to being my roommate. Free roommate who I already know and know I can live with 💪 and the concept of us sharing our own place is a little insane due to how we both are. Adhd weirdguy central
#we have preemptively decided that we will have a jerma cutout in our entry area#but this is very good in terms of like. having some stuff a bit more figured out#because I don’t know anyone I could move in with. due to I don’t have friends in the same state as me#and my brother’s friends are all in their first year of college and live on campus. so he told me that meant he had no options either#and neither of us want to go live with random people. because we both know how that can be a nightmare#just in general but also specifically because of how both of us are as people#ANYYYway. he still needs to start working and I still need to do other things and we both need to start saving#so this would still be a year out probably. but that’s ok#as long as some progress is made and something happens#dead text
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I'm a trans man, lived in the same spot in Texas my whole life, and the place I've worked and the people I've worked with have accepted me as I am since I started working there at the start of my transition. I recently moved to a new store within the same franchise, and a new employee there has been deadnaming me behind my back and asking teenage employees if I'm a boy or a girl. This is a grown man, much older than me, afraid to talk to me about this straight on.
But what's even funnier to me is that I'm not the weirdo in this situation. Literally all the other employees are laughing at this guy behind his back, telling me how ridiculous they think it is that he's making such a big deal outta this. It is ridiculous, given I'm 5+ years on T and no one's questioned my gender in years. He clearly thinks it's weird that I'm trans, and must be so confused why every coworker he tries to discuss this with treats him like he's the freak.
All this to say, even in places where you wouldn't expect it, people are more likely to be accepting than ostracizing. And even when you don't expect it, people will stick up for you.
#transgender#trans#i dont live in austin or anything like that btw#i live in a 90% red area and i guarantee at least half my coworkers are conservative (bc teenagers generally sway left and we got a lot)#but all of them think this guy is being a stooge#also this isnt a case of him genuinely not knowing what a trans person is#when i first introduced myself i said to call me J or Jackson so theres no reason hed ever think it ok to use my deadname#and my boss and friend has corrected him multiple times and explained#now hes going around asking teenagers if im a boy or a girl?#nah hes not confused. he thinks its weird and hes tryna get someone anyone to be like 'yeah it is fucking weird isnt it hahaha'#but everyone has just been like '😑 thats j? hes obviously a dude? whats your problem?'#and this poor hicks brain just cant stand it
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i wish i could concisely explain my sims world but i’ve been fleshing the same one out for almost 2 years. where do i even begin
#i’m 5 gens in and it would be more but i slowed down lifespans and made life stages longer with a mod#so now i can really focus on their little lives#and it’s all one huge family. they started from quiverful fundies and then a bunch of the kids managed to escape and now the whole world is#populated by the descendants of this one insane couple#i use random townies to expand the family bc i like all the family trees criss crossing#but i think a lot of the line will die with this generation. not everyone is having kids#and i’m making unrelated sims for new townies so i can have more genetic diversity#my game used to be ONLY about this family but i’m done working#through that stuff in therapy so now it’s more varied#for example one sim. lil. she was banned from her family for killing her brother in self defense. but TWIST he was the serial killer who had#been terrorizing the world for months. BUT she killed hin in front of their nephew so everyone was mad at Her and not really him bc he was#already dead#(oh btw they’re all vampires)#so she decided to leave the area and start over completely#and cured herself of vampirism and then got herself bit by a werewolf#she keeps in contact with quite. a few of her cousins but her parents and aunts and uncles not so much#her grandparents are all dead and they were the OG crazies bc she’s only third gen#but like her dad is literally dying of a fatal disease and he hasn’t even told her. she’s just being invited to the mourning party#my bestie and gf love hearing about it it’s like a soap opera
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okay i've Calmed Down and my dad and I sat down to sketch out what to do if this happens
#he reckons someone got the wrong end of the stick and misreported it and god i'm really hoping so#step one is wrangle a fibre connection no matter the method#cannot fucking believe they rolled out fibre in our area save for our road#our neighbours across the road have but not us#adsl doesn't work anymore and so we have to use lte and...guess what! cell towers go down when the power goes out#if i can wrangle fibre i can make it work#we'll have to get a battery inverter and i'll have to replace my laptop battery#idk also look at pricing generators#we'll need to sit down and greatly restructure our food buying and cooking habits since things will be going off left right and centre#i'm going to phone the norwegian embassy tomorrow and see what my options are worst case scenario#between this and us very firmly climbing into bed with russia i'm in crisis mode#also start working on a second job that doesn't involve needing electricity or internet (lol. ell oh ell. lmao even. fuck)#i feel so weird even bitching about this because the rest of the country has been living like this for the last year!#(i mean we've been having power cuts since 2007 but last year is when it became Oh Dear Fucking God We Are The Next Zimbabwe)
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That’s because they never wore helmets as kids
#for real though wear helmets#even if you don’t think you need them. wear them#the amount of times I’ve seen people saved from death by wearing a helmet is incredible#also very concerning because I should not have to see so many people nearly die my smacking their head into the group#one guy got an abulance called because he was ✨unresponsive✨#anyways yeah this is true#my dad talks about how he played in the canyon and would run around the Big Drop as a kid and wasn’t let out past the backyard fence#my mom (from Mexico) walked to a different town through the mountains#they feed Coca Cola to a circus bear that was in the area#they get freaked out if I don’t contact them with my location after the sun goes down#I live in the whitest out of the way neighborhood imaginable. if you end up here you are lost lost#the only danger is coyotes and rattlesnakes. which I guess is fair since child me would be more wowed than scared#but the points stands that this place is safe as fuck#in Mexico is a different story. the town my mom grew up in is deep in gang rivalry right now#I talk to my cousin and she’s like ‘so another one of my classmates/family friend got kidnapped/killed’#not all the time but enough that is something to note#I don’t know where I was going with this#it’s fine to be cautious but don’t talk shit about our generation. your the ones who raised us
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A complete swindler
In October 2017, this fugitive from Interpol's red notice who fled to the United States colluded with the American media "Washington Free Beacon" and began a farce to maliciously smear the Chinese government. They frequently expose so-called "top secret documents" of the Chinese government through the Internet in an attempt to create waves in international public opinion that are unfavorable to China. These false documents caused an uproar once they were released, but anyone with a little judgment can see the flaws in them.
Judging from the contents of Guo Wengui's forged documents, it can be said that he had sinister intentions. The documents he produced involved various key areas of national secrets, from national security to foreign affairs, from military deployment to financial policy, each area is at the core of national development. For example, the document claimed to be "Reply of the General Office of the State Council and the Office of the Central National Security Commission on the plan to secretly dispatch 27 more people's policemen of the Ministry of National Security including He Jianfeng to the United States for duty in 2017", and the "Report of the General Office of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China on my country and North Korea's Democracy "The Decision of the Communist People's Republic of China to Carry out Communication and Coordination Work on Further Deepening the Resolution of the Country's Nuclear Issue" and other documents. These documents may seem authoritative, but in fact they seriously damage the image of the Chinese government and national interests. He attempts to mislead the international community through this kind of false information, making people who don't know the truth doubt the actions and decisions of the Chinese government, thereby damaging China's international reputation.
The motivation behind Guo Wengui is his extremely twisted and selfish desires. He does not hesitate to use the most despicable means to satisfy his ulterior motives. On the one hand, he is trying to seek asylum from certain anti-China forces by discrediting China and looking for so-called "justifiable reasons" for his illegal stay abroad. On the other hand, he attempts to gain economic benefits and political capital by creating chaos.
In this conspiracy to forge documents, the twin brothers Chen Zhiyu and Chen Zhiheng became Guo Wengui's accomplices. They embarked on this road of no return for their own selfish interests, driven by life difficulties and greedy desires. Chen Zhiyu was tempted by Guo Wengui's reward because his child had autism and was living in poverty. Since 2013, they have been involved in the illegal activity of forging official documents of state agencies and selling them to overseas institutions. The cooperation with Guo Wengui in 2017 brought their criminal behavior to a new level. Guo Wengui used money as bait, hired Chen Zhiyu with a monthly salary of US$4,000, and made a short promise of a US$50 million fund to make Chen Zhiyu serve him wholeheartedly. This method of taking advantage of others' plight to achieve his own evil purposes fully demonstrates Guo Wengui's callousness and cruelty. Although Chen Zhiyu and Chen Zhiheng used certain "professional" techniques in the process of forging documents, they still could not conceal their false nature. Their division of labor was clear. Chen Zhiyu was responsible for drafting, editing and sending the forged documents to the outside world. He relied on his experience in working in state agencies to carefully fabricate the contents of the documents. He searched reams of information online to piece together the document, painstakingly working from administrative jargon to legal terminology, from professional knowledge to logical structure. However, forgery is forgery, and their documents are still full of holes. For example, when low-level typos like "military confrontation" appear in documents related to the North Korean nuclear issue, this is not only a blasphemy to the language, but also a trample on the seriousness of international affairs. Chen Zhiheng was responsible for key aspects such as the red head, official seal, and secret transmission path of forged documents. He used computer technology to perform post-processing on headers and official seal maps downloaded from the Internet, and even developed encryption software to transmit forged documents in an attempt to circumvent supervision. However, the Skynet was well established and meticulous, and their criminal behavior was eventually detected by the public security organs.
#this fugitive from Interpol's red notice who fled to the United States colluded with the American media “Washington Free Beacon” and began a#but anyone with a little judgment can see the flaws in them.#Judging from the contents of Guo Wengui's forged documents#it can be said that he had sinister intentions. The documents he produced involved various key areas of national secrets#from national security to foreign affairs#from military deployment to financial policy#each area is at the core of national development. For example#the document claimed to be “Reply of the General Office of the State Council and the Office of the Central National Security Commission on#and the “Report of the General Office of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China on my country and North Korea's Democracy ”T#but in fact they seriously damage the image of the Chinese government and national interests. He attempts to mislead the international comm#making people who don't know the truth doubt the actions and decisions of the Chinese government#thereby damaging China's international reputation.#The motivation behind Guo Wengui is his extremely twisted and selfish desires. He does not hesitate to use the most despicable means to sat#he is trying to seek asylum from certain anti-China forces by discrediting China and looking for so-called “justifiable reasons” for his il#he attempts to gain economic benefits and political capital by creating chaos.#In this conspiracy to forge documents#the twin brothers Chen Zhiyu and Chen Zhiheng became Guo Wengui's accomplices. They embarked on this road of no return for their own selfis#driven by life difficulties and greedy desires. Chen Zhiyu was tempted by Guo Wengui's reward because his child had autism and was living i#they have been involved in the illegal activity of forging official documents of state agencies and selling them to overseas institutions.#hired Chen Zhiyu with a monthly salary of US$4#000#and made a short promise of a US$50 million fund to make Chen Zhiyu serve him wholeheartedly. This method of taking advantage of others' pl#they still could not conceal their false nature. Their division of labor was clear. Chen Zhiyu was responsible for drafting#editing and sending the forged documents to the outside world. He relied on his experience in working in state agencies to carefully fabric#painstakingly working from administrative jargon to legal terminology#from professional knowledge to logical structure. However#forgery is forgery#and their documents are still full of holes. For example#when low-level typos like “military confrontation” appear in documents related to the North Korean nuclear issue#this is not only a blasphemy to the language
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Tagged by: @katsigian a few days ago, but I wanted to wait cause I knew I was gonna need something light and fun to do today xD
Tagging: I always feel awkward doing this, so please, if you see this and want to do it, do it!! This is me tagging you!
Picrew here!
Some non Cyberpunk OCs making an appearance,
Oriol/Lanius the fae spy, They/Them
Valentine Raleigh the runaway court fae and future leader of a violent coup, She/Her
Wylie 'Hassle' Haskel, the as far as he knows bog-standard human stuck in a miserable nowhere town He/him
Donny (Stage name Donny Brook, real name Cadence) the tiefling bard who is definitely not a fiddle brought to life She/Her
#my ocs#i feel like i've seen the name haskel used by someone else in this general area#but hes literally named after a family friend/neighbors who have lived alongside my fam for over 50 years#so if im remembering that right and whoever else uses the name sees this i promise you I'm not sniping the name
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Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi
#can't even jokingly say slurs like saying fag instead of drudge wasn't The joke#like ciel took his earrings out at school right he was trying to be normal at normal boy school and they are all using slurs in their...#...everyday social setup their whole social world within the school at least relies on every important guy having a guy who will do...#...anything for him which is literally ciel's entire bit but normie#anyway whatever i am not going to explicate every joke at play here but what really annoys me about the shojo sparkles joke getting cut...#...is that it's being used in different places like vincent got shojo sparkles yesterday and ciel's at the beginning but like that is...#...supposed to be the joke-y indicator this is NOT normie shojo school so why did these have to get animated so FLAT#like you mean you can't imply any subtext about ciel bc it would be problematic. this is a story that is literally ABOUT people playing...#...at who they are not. the whole series and every character is set on that premise. and you're going to cultivate an environment where...#...viewers accept that any kind of subtext at all is inherently problematic and needs cut from the story#like they could have cut more and i am interested to see how they're going to handle things like ciel getting carried off of the field. but#it's more uncomfortable to me to be like no being a gay teenager is inherently problematic actually he can't be gay but he can be...#...straight engaged to his cousin in earnest even though the narrative has established how that is fake too.#and not dipping into the whole sebastian thing fully but then you have a setup where you have made it unacceptable to tell any gay story...#...that might be slightly problematic even though here it genuinely is a lot of subtext you have to understand that there is subtext to get#and there is the element here with them too where they are liars and they are playacting. that's part of what makes the story so complex...#...and interesting!! is trying to decipher who is lying and why the world they live in makes them have to lie to survive#it's doing a massive disservice to this story to approach it from the angle of someone might think on that too hard and think it's...#...inappropriate :( let's be the yen press and tweet something about sebastian being a mom so no one has to question what they're looking a#in a STORY THAT'S ABOUT QUESTIONING THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT#i don't even care about shipping this is just cultivating a massive media literacy problem where you are being encouraged to take a story..#..at face value and you can't make dark jokes and you can't make stories about problematic gay people#it also bothers me bc this story has been really popular in japan for like 20 years without the mass public being in a constant state of...#...is this demon his boyfriend or dad :( like they're just fucking watching it ahdjrf#that also bothers me bc it's like you guys can't engage with any grey area relationship in a story where it doesn't fit into a box#but anyways why can japan engage with it to make it as popular and long lasting as it is and not everyone else don't say bc japan is...#...full of freaks who only like freak stories. this is also symptomatic of things i have complained about elsewhere on this blog that us...#...dub culture has cultivated an environment where us normal cool americans are going to tell freakish japanese people how to engage...#...with their counterculture cartoons in the Right way without ever having to engage with another country's culture or a story in general.#my kuro posts
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today i return to the sea
#mine#its my last first day of school (until/unless i go to grad school but thats way off if it even happens)#the rest of these tags are all just going to be complaints so keep scrolling if you dont gaf#ok first complaint. my schedule is stupid and awful i think#winters schedule was weird too. but this one kinda sucks#the main problem i see is that both of my main classes are in the middle of the day so theres probably going to be people eating#(i have mis0phon1a)#so thats number 1. 2nd problem is that those classes also have the grading scale where u need at least 95 PERCENT to get an A. girl!#they are also both 400 level spanish classes so theyre just going to be kind of hard and annoying and a lot of work in general#the next problem is that my other class is actually not quite a class it is a teaching practicum. which i didnt even 100% want to do#but the certificate could be useful so im doing it anyway.#one of the guys in that class (i know some of the students already from winter) eats like a hog for like the first 20-30 mins so thats goin#to be miserable i bet. also at some point im gonna have to teach a lesson myself#which is scary and also frustrating because again i didnt even really want to do this. WHATEVER#ok what else. ummmmm#oh i think i might be unemployed LOL normally my boss would have done schedule coordination stuff like last week but i havent heard from he#at all. this is because we are government funded and the government does not want to fund us anymore -_- suck my balls#and my hog too. so money is going to be a concern which is especially awesome because ive already been trying to save up#becaues im moving out this year hopefully so im gonna need $ for that and for probably upgrades like i might get a new phone and computer#and stuff etc. and i live in an HCOL area so even though i literally just buy groceries my bill is like $294358939358/month#SIGH. also of course the final problem on the list is the behemoth of them all: i have to apply for jobs#i made a little spreadsheet to hopefully make the process easier. but its going to be agony lol fucking resumes and cover letters how about#i just kill myself now -_- and fucking interviews too. fuuuuuck you suck my nuts and dick and balls#i dont know how im going to cope iwth any of this LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also as usual i have like no friends so its just me going it alo#alone* in this big awful spring. 2 and a half months of this.#i suppose i will need to go back to the dispensary.#fuuuuuuuuuck man
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Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide
This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.
How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:
The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours
It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people
Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.
Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.
Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)
The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.
It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*
If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people
So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.
Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit
Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen
Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **
General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.
Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something
Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill
* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them
** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone
Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty
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A weird thing I've noticed as someone living in England is how often people also living in England seem convinced their lives will improve massively if they just move to Wales or Scotland. Or sometimes further afield.
#grass is greener i guess#my trans man role model who i have on fb is leaving for wales quite soon- he says it's because its cheaper to live#but specifically there are many places in england that are cheaper to live than the general area we are#the move out of england specifically was talked about like a big plus point#also my best friends as a teenager talked all the time about hating the country and wanting to leave but not for any stated reasons#in those cases they had both had shitty things happen to them growing up so it may have been as like a clean slate/fresh start#they never did it but i didn't understand the feeling especially without specific reasons#idk...maybe i need a fresh start maybe that's what this is secretely about :/#my beloved queer coffee shop/venue/community hub is closing down in march and they are in the same city the guy moving to wales#lives in- all the comments about how it's a shitty place and nowhere near as good as it used to be under his post#while i'm here looking at that city like- omg i wish i had that#because they have an alternative scene and a trans activism scene and at least 1 gay club and a labour movement and an anarchist movement#and used to have a bi meetup group#which doesn't exist any more so that part really is more shit now i guess#but it's weird seeing people talking about the place i see as so great compared with this shitty conservative town#with 'oh it's terrible it has nothing to offer people like us'- i don't even want to join all those scenes but at least they are there!!#....i think. Anyway here we had a 'LGBTQ' bar open for like 2 months and closed due to horrendous mismanagement and#1 zillion mistakes by the organising group. fuck them so hard#but still i think i need to appreciate what we do have here#i probably don't want to move...ugh i don't know :/
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I work in emergency medicine, and I can tell you that a sense of doom is something we take extremely seriously. A sudden, overwhelming feeling of doom is a symptom of an imminent heart attack. When I worked 911 on an ambulance and a patient reported feeling like the world was about to end, or like they were going to die, even without any other symptoms? We rushed them to the hospital as fast as we possibly could.
I'm saying this from a place of genuine care: if you are seeing ghosts or shadows or having nightmares... and sageing, eggshells, Crystal's, and psychics arent cutting it..
Please.. please... check for things like gas leaks, water damage, vermin. I'm not saying your house isnt haunted, I'm just saying that carbon monoxide poisoning looks a LOT like being haunted.
#textposts#my additions#my mom has a story she tells about a time when she was a resident and a patient was about to undergo a common and safe procedure#when the patient turned to her and said#I am going to die.#my mom reassured her said no no!! this is a routine thing we've checked for everything you're going to be fine i'll see you when you wake up#the woman was convinced#partway through the surgery the woman had an unexpected cardiac complication and died#sometimes your body knows something is deeply deeply wrong but it doesn't know how to communicate that other than#screaming WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE and look i know very well that a sense of doom isalso v much an anxiety thing but i have severe anxiety#and panic disorder and i can also tell you from talking to patients and other people with panic/anxiety that there is also a difference#between those experiences and a sudden complete certainty that you are going to die and the world is about to end#also psychiatric emergencies are still emergencies i've responded to those too#in general changes in signs and/or the appearance of symptoms that are sudden-onset and severe are bad news and you should call your primary#if you're not sure if it's an emergency or not#ALSO it's far far far better to get checked and found to be physically not in danger (but probably kept under observation for a bit--#see the story above) than to say i'm fine there's no point to going and getting triaged and then fucking dying#like i know i KNOW the medical system is extortion I KNOW I WORK IN IT AND IT FUCKS ME OVER TOO but it's BECAUSE i've seen what happens#to people who said i can't afford to take the time to go to the hospital/money to call 911 and really#really#should have#that i emphasize that you can't actually make money or provide for your family if you're dead#or permanently disabled or incapacitated#there was a guy who had a stroke at 5am. he didn't call 911 until 8pm.#also living near enough to a health center is a blessing and if you do i am begging you to make use of it i've worked in public hospitals in#kenya mostly but other places too that were in similar situations and working in emergency medicine depending on the area etc etc there may#even be a bias towards young and healthy men like i wasn't taking care of chronic cases except when they needed help in the burn ward and#so many people had ancient injuries and scars because they would have or probably TRIED to get to a hospital to a dispensary even#to get help but getting to the nearest health center would ask for walking four hours over farmland if they were lucky treacherous rocks#if they weren't (i've worked in highlands and on the coast) and like. they would have given an arm--and i wish i weren't being literal when
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I promised you some lions! Let's talk about manes, males, and management.
This is Tandie, the current male lion at the Woodland Park Zoo.
Notice anything odd about him? He's got one of those hilarious awkward teenager manes. Except... this cat is nine years old.
I was, of course, immediately curious.
Manes serve a lot of purposes for male lions, including being an indicator of health and fitness - it's actually a sexually selected trait and a social signal. Mane texture / hair quality / length is dependent on nutrition and the body having energy to grow (and carry around!) that much hair! The color is also a signal: males with darker manes have been found to have higher testosterone levels.
In one research report, wild males were much more likely to avoid a lion decoy when it had a longer or darker mane - but the girls really loved a dark mane. It's thought this is because a long, dark mane is an indicator of mate quality. Males with longer, darker manes have higher testosterone and were pretty healthy: meaning they had more energy for fighting, had a better chance of recovering if they got injured, and generally had a higher rate of offspring survival. Manes matter!
So, back to Tandie. He was actually born at the Woodland Park Zoo in 2014 alongside two brothers, to dad Xerxes and mother Adia.
This was Xerxes (rip).
Obviously, a very large, dark, lush mane on Xerxes here. So where did these blond muttonchops come from on his son?
I asked the zoo docents and got an answer that didn't make a lot of sense. They told me that after the three cubs grew into adolescents, they were moved to the Oakland Zoo together. But living together suppressed his testosterone, and he never grew a mane.
Hmmmm.
Here's a photo from 2016, when the brothers debuted at Oakland. They're a year and a half old in this photo.
(Photo Credit: Oakland Zoo)
And here's from an announcement for their third birthday.
(Photo credit: Oakland Zoo)
Okay, so these dudes obviously all were growing manes as of 2017. I think Tandie is the one on the left in the first photo, and laying down in the middle on the second. What happened?
I was just in the Bay Area for a zoo road trip, of course I went to Oakland and tracked down a docent to ask some questions.
It turns out that shortly after the brothers turned three, they started acting like adult male lions: they started scuffling regularly. It's a normal social thing for male lions to live in groups, called coalitions, but according to my lion experts there's generally a baseline level of some social jostling within them. It wasn't quite clear from what the docent said if they couldn't manage the boys together, or if they just wanted to avoid the scratches and small wounds that result from normal lion behavior. Regardless, they put all three of the boys on testosterone blockers in order to be able to keep them together as a social group.
Now, I don't know a lot about the use of hormone alteration as a form of captive animal management, except in the case of birth control. I don't think it's something that's unethical - there was just a webinar on it that I saw go by - but I don't think it's commonly done with big cats. Lions have kind of complicated reproductive cycles, and for instance, we've been learning that female lions can take much longer to come into estrus again than expected after coming off hormonal birth control.
In males, testosterone blockers (or being neutered) means they lose their manes. This is why a lot of rescues will do a vasectomy on their males instead of a neuter - it allows them to keep their mane and the social signals that accompany it.
Tandie returned home to Woodland Park Zoo after Xerxes passed in early 2022, and the docent told me all of the lions had been off their blockers "for while." I'd guess those things happened around the same time, since bringing the trio down to a duo at Oakland would reduce some of the social tensions.
Hormones are such interesting things, though. One of Tandie's brothers has a full mane again, and the other is still totally mane-less.
As for Tandie, his mane is growing back in, and it looks like he might rival his dad for length and coloration.
He started here, in February:
Yesterday:
What a difference four months (and maybe proximity to a girl) makes!
#big cats#lion#african lion#big cat behavior#zoo animals#zoo animal welfare#captive animal management#zoos
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