#he should have made it to the emoji era

[fallinallincurls]

The Moment I Knew

a barzy fic!! i had the best time writing this for the eras tour challenge hosted by @wyattjohnston and @comphy-and-cozy! getting to combine two things i love (hockey and taylor swift) made this fic so much fun to write and i hope you love it as much as i do.

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

song: the moment i knew (taylor's version)

word count: 2.4k

This was not how this night was supposed to go.

Your friends decided to throw a huge party at one of the most popular rooftop bars in Manhattan for your birthday this year. They promised the view of the city was gorgeous, the drinks were amazing and the night was sure to be one to remember for years. It was the perfect excuse to finally wear the stunning dress you’ve been saving for months so to say the least, you were beyond excited to celebrate turning another year older.

What you didn’t expect, however, is the text you sent to Mat hours ago to go unread. It was just a reminder that the party started at eight and that you couldn’t wait to see him. But instead of receiving a message back that he would be there or even a simple red heart emoji, you got silence.

And that’s all you can think about now even though you’re surrounded by your closest friends who couldn’t be happier to celebrate you.

Despite the drinks that are flowing, the glittering New York City skyline and the hundreds of pictures that have been snapped to remember the night, you couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that the person who matters the most isn’t here.

He promised he would be.

Your eyes remain glued to the door waiting, hoping, to see him burst through the crowd wearing that signature “baby, I’m right here smile” he reserves just for you. Friends ask how you’re doing and you nod along, faking the happiness you should be feeling at the moment. But every time someone says his name or goes “Where’s Mat?” that sinking feeling in your stomach becomes more and more obvious because as the minutes tick by, it’s clear that he isn’t going to show up.

How could he? How could he forget?

Yes, Mathew Barzal may be the face of the New York Islanders franchise and one of the best players currently in the NHL, but outside of hockey, he’s yours. Your boyfriend, your light, the person who makes you feel at home no matter where you are as long as you’re with him. 

You vividly remember him grinning when he found out about the plan your friends put together. In your mind, you see the moment when he said “I can’t wait to celebrate my girl,” before he pulled you in for a deep kiss. It’s unlike him to just bail on something especially when he promised he’d be here and he knows how much this night means to you.

Yet, here you are, standing in your sparkly party dress with red lipstick on searching for the one thing missing from this perfect night. The man who holds your heart.

“Hey,” your best friend slides up next to you, gently shoving a rum and coke into your hand. With just a glance at her, you notice her smile isn’t as bright as usual. She must know something is up. “How are you holding up? Having fun?”

“So much. Thank you again for putting this together.” You say, hoping you disguise the sadness well enough she doesn’t pick up on it.

“It’s what you deserve.” She replies honestly and despite everything, you couldn’t be more grateful for her. Before you can express that feeling though, she continues speaking and what she says next breaks your heart a little bit more. “Is Mat coming? I’m surprised he isn’t here yet, but the night is still young.”

Tears prick at your eyes and it’s then you realize you aren’t the only one painfully aware of the handsome Canadian’s absence from the party.

“He said he would be.” It’s the only response you have. Deep down you don’t even know if he will actually be here tonight even if you’re holding onto every shred of hope. Maybe he’s running late and hasn’t looked at his phone in a long time. Maybe his phone died after he left and he’s on his way right now but you have no idea. There are a million excuses you could make, but something tells you that none of them are the reality of the situation.

What do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show?

Feeling the overwhelming heartache well up in your chest, you excuse yourself from the conversation and head right toward the bathroom. That’s the one place you can fight these tears off and regain your composure without anyone else around. 

When you look in the mirror and stare down your reflection, another stab of pain shoots through your heart. The woman you’re looking back at should be so happy she can’t stop smiling, eyes full of wonder and nothing on her mind but having fun with the people who she loves so dearly.

Instead, you’re trying to stop the tears from falling so your makeup stays intact and hoping you can enjoy even a second of this fantastic party. This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go. 

And that’s when the anger sets in.

You and Mat may have only been together for six short months, but in that time, you have fallen head over heels in love with him. He’s been the most incredible boyfriend and you haven’t regretted giving your heart over to him. He hasn’t ever broken a promise or lied or did anything to make you feel unloved.

Until tonight.

And how dare he ruin something that was meant to be full of joy and unforgettable memories? How dare he do this to you and ruin a night that was about celebrating you? You shouldn’t be crying over him at your birthday party.

You deserve better than that.

Taking a deep breath, you freshen up your makeup and recite a pep talk in your head. This might be the worst pain your heart has ever endured, but you deserve to enjoy the night no matter what and that’s exactly what you’re going to try to do. 

Starting now.

As you step back out to the bar, you focus on everything but the gaping hole Mat has left on the night. The closer you get to where your friends are gathered, you spot a beautifully decorated cake sitting on the tabletop. 

“Y/N!” Your best friend calls out, waving you over with a beaming smile. It all happens in slow motion. Taking your place behind the cake with the candles lit waiting for you to make a wish. Everyone circling around and singing happy birthday to you. As you blow out the candles and make a wish amid the loud roar of applause, all you can think about is what’s missing. About who is missing.

The tall, brunette hockey player whose hazel eyes are always soft with admiration around you. 

You miss him even through the pain he’s caused tonight. But you savor every moment with your friends until it’s time to go home. After all the hugs, happy birthday wishes and goodbyes, you check your phone before gathering the gifts everyone brought. Still not a single text or call from Mat.

That’s the moment you know.

This is it.

You can’t dedicate yourself to a relationship just to not be cherished by a man who is too caught up in his own world to remember something as simple as your birthday. You deserve a better love than this.

The moment your apartment door closes behind you, a ringing fills the silence. Your phone. The screen is lit up with a picture of you and Mat after an Isles game, one of the first you attended as his girlfriend. You don’t overlook the fact that it took him all night to call. The party's over now and you know answering this call is going to result in him apologizing for not being there.

“Mat,” You say curtly when the call connects. Tears prick at your eyes again, but you push the emotions back in an effort to get through this conversation without breaking down. 

“Y/N,” Mat breathes out, his tone heavy but you can’t identify with what emotion. “I’m sorry, I didn’t make it.” 

“I’m sorry, too.” 

And that’s when you told him. Even though he was the right person, it was the wrong time and you couldn’t do this anymore. If you happen to run into him at some point in the future, the door isn’t closed on the possibility of being together again. 

For right now though, you bid the great love you had with Mathew Barzal goodbye. 

~~~~

It all happens in slow motion.

The DJ’s voice booms through the speakers in the ballroom announcing for the crowd to welcome Mr. and Mrs. Barzal to the dance floor for their first dance as a married couple. The fairy lights twinkle while the sound of steady applause and loud cheers erupt all around you. The familiar feeling of another’s hand, his hand, in yours somehow makes the smile on your face even brighter. 

You know this is the moment. The moment you’ve been dreaming of since you were a little girl, planning out the perfect song selection and wondering what your future husband would look like. The moment you watched in countless movies with stars in your eyes, waiting for the day you would get to experience that magical occasion.

Never in a million years would you have thought a professional hockey player with a heart of gold would’ve been the man you fall for and decide to spend the rest of your life with.

Yet, it feels like each step you take towards the dance floor hand in hand with the love of your life is slower and slower.

“You okay, love?” Mat whispers, pulling you in towards him as the soft notes of the carefully selected song begin to play. Your arms settle over his shoulders as you meet his gaze that’s full of nothing but adoration.

“More than okay. Just can’t believe today is real. That this dance is really happening right now.” You admit as a blush spreads across your cheeks. 

The smile that blossoms across Mat’s face is a sight that you never ever want to forget. He’s looking at you like you hung the moon and stars, pure happiness on display across his handsome facial features. For the millionth time, you wonder how you are lucky enough to be the one who gets to love him for the rest of your lives. 

“Well, I can confirm that today is very real and we are in fact dancing to our dream first dance song in front of everyone who cares about us.” Mat says happily, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he continues to lead you around the dance floor. “But I can also confirm that it’s a little unreal that we’re married now and I love you more than anything else in this entire world.” 

Without either of you saying a word, you both know why this feels unbelievable. That fateful night a few years ago where Mat missed your birthday celebration and everything came crashing down in an instant. Then, you never could’ve predicted this is where you’d end up in the future. But you’re so grateful that it worked out the way it did.

You’re married to Mat. The man of your dreams. The one who has won your heart and made your life brighter by just existing. It’s both a shock but the best thing to ever happen to you. 

“What are you thinking about?” Mat asks softly, lips brushing your temple as you continue to sway together. 

“This used to feel like a distant dream after everything that happened. But I’m so glad everything worked out in our favor because this is all I’ve ever wanted since we met.” You whisper, looking up at him. His hazel eyes are soft with love and your heart skips a beat just looking at him. Your husband.

“I never told you, but that was the moment I knew.” Mat replies, voice quiet but full of emotion. “That was when I knew you were the only one for me. I had a pretty good idea before everything happened, which was all my fault, but losing you like that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. Not having you by my side was my new worst nightmare and my heart was completely broken. But I knew when you ended the call that night, you were my everything and I was an idiot for messing it up. I knew being with you after that would be a stretch, but I am still eternally grateful that we found our way back to each other and are here right now.” 

Shock ripples through you as Mat’s admission processes in your mind. Through all these years, he’s never given an inkling that he went through all that pain after the breakup that night. But knowing that moment was when he realized he loved you more than anything and would do anything to get you back made a wave of emotions hit you all at once.

You raise a hand to his cheek and gently rub a thumb across his skin. Tears prick at the back of your eyes as you gaze at him. How lucky are you that the love of your life came back to you? After all the pain that happened from that one night, he learned from it, became a better person and brought the love you both deserve to life?

“Me too, you have no idea.” You murmur, an adoring smile blooming across your lips before leaning in to kiss Mat as if no one was watching.

Cheers erupt from the crowd watching the two of you dance which pulls you back to the present. The last notes of the song fade out and Mat spins you around just to finish the dance with a dramatic dip before kissing you once again. Nothing but pure happiness and love surrounds you as you try to commit every detail of this moment to memory.

“Want to know something?” You ask Mat while reaching for his hand to continue dancing as the space around you fills up with the guests who want to join in on the fun.

“Always, baby.” 

“This is the moment I know that I will be incredibly happy and loved for the rest of my life. Because I’m with you.”

And there you are, standing in your wedding dress with red lipstick on and everyone around you singing along to the song blasting through the speakers as the person who means the most to you stays by your side all night. The gold band on his left hand glittering in the light is a constant reminder that nothing is missing. In fact, it couldn’t be more perfect. 

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twelve

summary: may the odds be ever in your favour.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.9k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: i can't believe we made it to the end of s1! i am so, so excited to move on to the next era of this story! this is a reminder if you love this series and you haven't already please reblog this or the masterlist! it makes such a big big difference for me and my fellow writers know it all too well lol.

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

Coriolanus wakes up, head on the open pages of Romeo and Juliet as people start to flood in, everyone anxious about what would happen to you.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, quickly casting his view to the screen ahead, camera view still locked on you. There was no one else for it to be tracking, after all. Except now, you were on Lamina's beam, lying down with your eyes closed. He wasn't sure if you were awake, or when you had even made your way down into the clearing, but you don't move. He can see the steady rise and fall of your chest as you lay with his scarf bunched up behind your head. Tigris was right, you had survived, but you wouldn't have without him. You looked peaceful- not at all like the girl he had seen crumbling apart on the same screen just a few hours prior.

"I feel as though I should inform you, they'll be going in very soon." Highbottom says, grabbing the boy's attention. "But I'd put my money on those boys being dead in there. Congratulations, Coriolanus. This means almost nothing for you."

He walks away before Coryo is even done processing what he had said. He wouldn't get the prize, most likely, but he would still have you.

You don't stir until you hear the peacekeepers entering the arena, sitting up and seeing them with guns pointed in your direction. "Don't move." One of them spits at you and you nod, eyes wide as you raise your hands. You watch as a designated team in different uniforms make their way up to enter the vents, and others spray something over the piles of snakes, stilling those that were still showing any signs of life.

"Is it over?" You ask, confused.

"Not until we can confirm you are the only remaining tribute." One of them answers and you nod, chewing on your lip as you watch the men disappear into the vents.

"Okay... Thank you."

You know what they would find in there, the bodies of the two boys trapped behind your salt line. You could tell them where the boys would be found, but then you'd be outing yourself. You had only confessed to Coryo. Only he could know. Last night, you didn't care. You have to assume he was the only one who witnessed your breakdown, your confession, because if anyone else had, you'd likely be dead by now. You have to hope your secret is safe with him if you want to go home.

The morning drags on forever as you sit there with guns pointed at you from the ground, and Coryo is pacing in the hall. There were many people around, excited to see if you would be crowned as the victor. People were rooting for you, and he was proud of that, but support didn't mean that you were promised a win.

Vipsania and Domitia were the only other two remaining mentors, whispering to each other across the room after they came back. It was eerily silent.

Then, one of the men emerges from the vent, turning all heads including yours as he just nods toward the peacekeepers watching you.

"Alright. Come on down." The same peacekeeper addresses you and you nod, a tear falling down your cheek.

"She did it." Coryo whispers to himself, realization forcing a grin onto his face.

Lucky laughs, clapping his hands together. "She's won! Y/N Y/L/N from District Twelve!" He calls out, making his way over to Coriolanus. "Coriolanus Snow is the Victor of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games!"

Coryo laughs in shock, smiling as the man pats his shoulder. He catches in the corner of his eye as his two classmates storm out, and he's quickly crowded with congratulations and praise.

"I won?" You ask quietly, feet landing on the ground again.

"Yes, they were found." He nods, and quickly your arms are being grabbed as you're led out of the arena.

"Do you know, did Coriolanus get his prize?" You ask them, but your question is ignored as you walk down the hall toward the exit, looking back over your shoulder as the gate is closed behind you.

Just outside the gates, you don't get much of a taste of freedom before you're being pushed into the back of the same truck. Empty. Bigger. Lonely.

"Empty your pockets." The peacekeeper tells you, standing at the entrance.

You do so hesitantly, holding up the compact on a shaky palm. "I'm sorry to ask, but can I have some water? Please?" You ask, once again ignored as the compact is pulled from your hand. "Please, sir, that was a gift... If you must take it can you return it to my mentor? Coriolanus Snow?"

He opens the cold metal, pulling out the piece of paper and unfolds it, quickly scanning it's contents. "That is for him, too. Though, if I had the chance now I would change it." You explain. You knew you both would be in deep trouble if you were caught for what you convinced yourself was no more than salt, and clarity came to you enough to lie about what the compact had contained all this time.

The peacekeeper hums, closing it up again and shoving both items into his own pocket, pointing the gun at you again. "Clothes off."

"Ex-excuse me?" You reply, taken aback by the request.

"Clothes off. Now." He repeats and you nod, swallowing the lump in your dry throat as you begin to slide off your dress, letting it fall at your feet. He moves the gun again, gesturing for you to continue. With trembling hands you remove your underthings, your shoes, and the scarf, placing them on the floor in front of you. He quickly gathers them, taking a step back and nodding to someone outside.

He moves out of the way and you stand there confused, watching as he shakes out your clothes and searches them, when suddenly you're being sprayed down with a hose. You yelp from the fast contact of the cold water pelting against your skin, but it wakes you up. After the initial shock, it actually feels good to be somewhat clean again.

You pant as the water is shut off, catching your breath and rubbing your arms to try and warm yourself again. Your clothes are tossed back into the truck at you before the door is slammed, and you use the scarf to try and dry yourself off a little bit before tying it around yourself the same way Coryo had. By the time you pull the second strap of your dress back on, the truck is moving and you're lurching forward.

You're driving for a while before the door is opened again, and you're relieved to get some fresh air. It was cold in there, and you were shivering in your small dress that was now also damp from your skin.

Once the doors open you're staring down the barrels of more guns as the peacekeepers usher you out and into the train station, right where you were let off all those days ago. Days... or weeks? You don't even know anymore.

"Lay off, why don't you? She's been through enough." A man in a black suit comes into your view, and they drop their weapons and let you go.

He steps in front of you and you wrap your arms around yourself to try and warm up. "Thank you, Sir." You smile, nodding at him politely.

"Nothing to thank me for..." He sighs. "I'm Dean Highbottom from the academy, it's a pleasure to meet you. Congratulations on your victory." Surprisingly to you, he doesn't seem inconvenienced. Someone other than Coryo and Sejanus seemed to be willing to talk to you, to treat you like a human again. When he congratulates you, he sounds sad.

"Thank you, Sir." You nod again. "Do I... Will I be going home now?"

"Yes. In just a few minutes." He nods, gesturing for you to follow him toward the train. "I am extremely familiar with your mentor, Coriolanus Snow." He tells you as you join his side.

"Oh, wonderful!" You force a smile. "I have some things for him, just a note and something he leant to me. I gave them to that man over there. Would you mind making sure they make it back to him?" You point out the peacekeeper as you follow him toward the train.

"I'll see to it that he gets it back, yes." Dean Highbottom nods with a slight roll of his eyes, stopping next to the stairs that would lead you onto the passenger train. "But... if I may offer you some advice?"

"Please." You nod, urging him on.

"Be grateful you survived him."

You want to ask what he means, but the anger you saw behind your friend's eyes that night in the arena would haunt you and you knew that. Surely, that's what the Dean is talking about.

"Yes." You agree, unsure what else to say when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a stack of cash.

"Take this, your prize, I suppose." He hands it over to you. It must be hundreds of dollars. Maybe over a thousand. With this, you could do so much for your family. "Oh, and Miss Y/L/N... You wouldn't happen to know anything about the rat poison that was in that compact, would you?"

You tense up, tilting your head at him with a confused smile. "Poison? No... All I had put inside was salt." You reply. "Sejanus Plinth gave it to me, with food from his Ma. Salt is good for protection, you know, so I kept it for later. Keeps you safe from evil and harm." You ramble on, panic and shock in your tone. Sejanus had given you salt to put on some vegetables and sandwiches he brought you, but now that you're trying to piece the story together, you don't remember even opening the compact until you were in that vent. Coryo had told you not to open it, so you wouldn't have. Your own memory is confusing you.

"I've heard that." He nods, eyeing you skeptically.

The train horn makes you jump before you can even thank him.

"Go on, now." He urges you onto the train, deciding to let slide however you had came across the rat poison. Clearly, you didn't know what you had done. Or you were convincing yourself you didn't remember. "Enjoy your freedom."

You nod and step up onto the stairs. You were hoping you would get to see Coryo again, it disappointed you that you never would. Maybe it was a good thing you wrote your goodbye note, even if you had survived. "I give you, upon my knees, a thousand thanks." You smile to the man still standing on the ground below you who just nods in acknowledgment before you close the door behind yourself, Coryo's scarf still wrapped around your waist.

"Y/N?" Coryo calls out, walking into the high biology lab. He was told you had something for him, no doubt the scarf and the compact.

"She's gone." Dean Highbottom cuts in, just before Coryo spots him in the poorly lit room.

"I was told-"

"I know what you were told. Here." The Dean tells him, pointing to the metal compact on the table.

Coryo looks at it only briefly before returning his gaze to the man who offered it to him. "Where is she?"

"I wouldn't worry about that, Coriolanus. Your work is done." He explains vaguely. "Were you aware that she cheated?"

"Cheated?" Coryo asks. "How?" He feigns ignorance.

"The boys in the vents didn't die from snake venom, or violently, or, naturally- for that matter." The Dean tsk's. "It was rat poison. Which, before you argue with me, cannot be found inside the arena or even within reach of the monkey cage at the zoo. I checked. So be honest, you have no idea how she got her hands on such a substance?"

"No, I don't." Coryo lies. "But she did what she could to survive- don't take it out on her because she somehow cheated your games. Next year give them uniforms, or up security or something."

"Just thought I'd ask. She told me she got it from Plinth." He waves him off, and Coryo ticks his head in slight confusion.

"Sejanus? No, he-"

"She really... declined, in there." Highbottom cuts him off, making it evident that he at least believed that Sejanus wouldn't do such a thing. "Told me it was only salt. Genuinely, it seemed like she didn't know. Or, she forced herself to forget. A sweet girl like that, it doesn't surprise me that that's how she would rationalize her actions."

"Is she alive? Because if you killed her for that I-"

"You'll what, Mister Snow? I thought you said you just wanted the prize."

"She deserved better." He states simply, swallowing the anxiety building in his throat.

"She does. I agree." Highbottom nods. "Which is why you won't see her again."

Coryo furrows his brow. "I... I don't understand how that could be relevant."

"Oh, I know you do, Mister Snow." His superior replies, a condescending edge to his words.

Coryo snatches the compact off of the table and quickly pockets it, storming out of the room. At least he hadn't been caught for helping you cheat, though he was sure Highbottom knew better. Now, he didn't have the Plinth Prize, and he didn't have you.

When he finally got home, he couldn't help but slam the door behind himself.

"Coryo?" Tigris calls out, excited as she puts down the project she was working on and rushes to the entranceway to meet him. "I didn't expect you home so soon! Did you get to see Y/N?" Her smile fades when she sees his expression. "What's wrong?"

"They wouldn't let me see her. She's already gone." He explains, pulling off his blazer.

"Oh..." Tigris frowns, taking the blazer from him to hang it up. "I know you really wanted to say goodbye. I'm so sorry."

"She'll never forgive me." He shakes his head slightly. "If she's even still alive! I doubt they would tell me!" He laughs, bringing his hands up to rub his eyes with his palms.

"They wouldn't kill her, Coryo. People loved her too much." She is quickly reassuring, reaching out to rub his shoulders. "You did nothing wrong... You did all you could for her. She'll forgive you."

"Not that." He mutters. "It's what I told you. You didn't see the way she looked at me, Tigris. Like... Like I was a monster."

"She was already scared. She was way out of her element. I think now, that she's safe, she'll find the space to see it reasonably." She tries to soothe his worries as best she can. "You're a good friend to her, and she's a kind person. She'll understand."

"But I'll never know for sure that she does."

"You might one day... Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't give up on her."

After a long, two-day journey curled up on a bench on the train, you recognize the building the train is stopping at. Suddenly, all your energy is returned to you as it slows to a stop, and you're already waiting at the door. You hear the latch unlock and you couldn't get off fast enough.

No one you knew were there, not that you expected any kind of greeting party. You inhale the fresh air, once again surrounded by the trees and your own people. You walk out of the train station and down the street, in the general direction of your home. You tried waving at a few folks you knew on the way, but people just stared, for the most part, jaws slack with surprise. They had already grieved your death. Sometimes you were met with a sad smile, but no one wanted to speak to you. You understood. You were used to that after your time in the Capitol.

"Y/N Y/L/N, is that you?" An excited voice called after you resigned yourself to a quiet walk home, twenty minutes from the bustle of the train station. You turn your head to look up at the back entrance to the Hob, a wide smile taking over your face when you see the speaker.

Your friend is already barrelling toward you, throwing her arms around you as your eyes fill with happy tears. It was refreshing. "I never thought I'd see you again..." You sniff, resting your chin on her shoulder as you hug her back.

Rhythmically, your best friend sways you back and forth. "Oh, I know, I know, sweetheart..." She hums, rubbing your back reassuringly. You can hear her voice crack too. "But you're home now. You're okay..."

She lets you break down as she practically holds you up as you cry in each other's arms. From happiness or trauma, you're not sure. "I did some awful things, I regret it all..."

"Don't regret a thing." She shushes you. "You did what you had to."

"No, no... You don't know... You didn't see..."

"I watched, Hun. When I could." She pulls away, placing her hands on your cheeks to wipe your tears. "You did nothing wrong. All that matters is that you're home now."

You sniff again with a slight nod. "I fear too early, for my mind misgives; Some consequence, yet hanging in the stars, shall bitterly begin."

"No... Y/N/N. You're safe here. You are forgiven." She assures you, rubbing your arms. "Now, let's get you home. A good rest will do you well, your parents have been waitin' on you." She waits for you to nod before stepping to your side, guiding you in the right direction with an arm around your waist.

"Thank you, Lucy Gray." You mumble, allowing yourself to lean into her hold.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[lowkeyrobin]

Could I request, what dating sparrow!ben hargreeves would be living a peaceful life possible after season 4 (let’s pretend like it never happened) preference or one shot (you decide)

Peaceful life- like the plans he said to Jennifer in the car, moving away, etcetera

P.s I loveeeeeee your tua and descendants writing keep up the amazing work 🫶🏻🫶🏻



aweee stop this is so cute 💔💔💔 ; also yes went for hc cause no way am I figuring out how to oneshot that shit ; also thank you 🫶🫶 I appreciate it lol ; also if there's supposed to be an anon emoji down there I can't see it 💀💀 it's just an [obj] box, prob cause I have an android and we don't have the same emojis as iphones n shit lmao ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; ps idk why I couldn't find that scene so I just kinda made some shit up lmfao

SPARROW! BEN ; runaways

summary ; your perfect life after running away with Ben except it doesn't end the world

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; no jail time for Ben / no s4 at all ig, reader isn't a brellie but refers to them as siblings + as kind of like an add on to them like lila

word count ; 363

masterlist

you and ben, after falling in love during the s3 era, decided you should just run away together

he'd taken a fond liking of you considering you were both so oddly peaceful when it came to just the two of you

the wedding at the end of the world really solidified it

and then you made out!

but after resetting the timeline and losing your powers, there was nothing to really stick around for

considering you wiped out all the marigold and sloane had disappeared (considering she would've never been born or was erased somehow) and your siblings had all gone off to live their lives, it was time you did too

you only knew Ben for like two weeks before you actually fell for each other so learning about one another was really fun

you packed up your bags (or what remained of them) and headed to wherever the back roads could take you

in the car you learned about each other's music taste and your hobbies, and all the sights you wanted to see around the world

the road took you to south carolina

you stayed on the beach for a week and it was honestly really nice

thank god you were able to steal thousands from sparrow-reggies secret stash lol

there you discovered Ben's hatred for water...

but after a week or so you packed up again and headed west

you drove around the country for about three years just sightseeing and living the most you could considering the two of you never really saw anything outside of home

but after a while, you had to settle down somewhere and make a proper life for yourselves

you both craved to be normal people, to pay bills and taxes and hold down jobs, maybe even make a family, as fucked as it was

I mean, trillionaires son moves to the middle of nowhere to live like a normal person? kinda crazy

you built a house on some old farmland on the outskirts of a little town, surrounded by forest and acres of empty land

you call around the family every once in a while, wanting to know how they're doing and what they're up to

ben couldn't really care tho, he only rlly cares for you, the others weirded him out

you couldn't blame him tho since he barely knew them and they knew a different version of him

when you're on the phone, head tilted as both hands are occupied by biscuit mix that you were mixing up, he stands by you with a soft smile on his face, helping you morph them into balls and put them on the tray

think a 90s type of house, very brown, window seats, etc

you live such a sweet ass life man

you sit on the front porch swing and drink coffee while you watch the sunrise

and in winter you cuddle up by the fireplace and watch shitty hallmark movies

you even started a YouTube channel for shits and giggles where you watch awful movies on cable TV and commentate over them because it's funny

you have a calico cat named sorbet

you have a strawberry garden in the backyard that surrounds the porch

and you go out to eat every friday

so many hugs from behind from the other when one is cooking

sweet kisses on the temple as well

so cavity causing sweet

[whyanne4]

Daylight

Part: 4/?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Follow the love story of a global pop icon and a monegasque F1 driver

Face claim: Taylor Swift (Singing) + others

Tag-list: @mindflay3r @karmabyfernando

Masterlist

2019

It's no secret that the former power-couple's relationship ended with bad blood as cheating allegations regarding Neymar leaked in January of 2018. The pair announced their split on social media two weeks later. However, it seems as if the Brazilian is not ready to give up on his ex yet. He has posted multiple instagram posts using lyrics from her recent album Lover which the singer wrote about current boyfriend, F1 driver Charles Leclerc. We have yet to get a statement about this from Leclerc or L/N.

A post uploaded by Neymar last Thursday captioned: "I'll save all my dirtiest jokes for you, meu amor😘"

When asked about these posts the PSG star responded

"I will always love her and she is an amazing woman. I've made mistakes in the past but I will do everything in my power to right my wrongs"

The world is understandably shocked by this statement seeing how the pop-star is in a one year long relationship with Ferrari F1 driver Charles Leclerc and even wrote an entire album stating her love for him. The couple is one of the most popular celebrity couples today and the fans love their romantic interactions on social media and in the F1 paddock.

What do you think? Is this Neymar simply being jealous of the love Leclerc is getting both from Y/N and the fans or is he serious? Follow E!News for more updates.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, gigihadid and 2 304 583 others

charles_leclerc: She's mine. You may have had her once. But I got her all the time.

view comments:

leleleclerc: Show him Charles!!!

pieregasly: My man🐶

liked by charles_leclerc

- pierragazzolina: Pierre??!!

- titiwolff: what is with that emoji??😭

janelle_leclerzz: okay I get it Neymar. If I fumbled the bag that hard I would regret it too

y/nhouse: damn, Charles is really out here living my dream life😫

slaybastianvettel: the second pic🥵

arthur_leclerc: good work brother👍

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: always yours❤️

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername

liked by: badgalriri, bellahadid and 8 493 392 others

yourusername: Baby, I just wanna be yours I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

view comments:

elitey/n: damn our girl really said Neymar who?

girlieprix: Charles and y/n are really squashing any speculations as they should!😤

y/ngirle4life: IS THAT AN ENGAGEMENT RING IN THE LAST PIC???

- safetycar92: OMG IT'S HUGE!!!

- juniorlecclerc: In her material girl era💅

- y/nfanzzaccount: It's on her right hand guys. Chill down

charles_leclerc: You're so beautiful mon amour😍

liked by yourusername

- l/ny/nleclerc: and I can't even get a response back from my guy🥹

yourusername:

liked by charles_leclerc, harrystyles and 13 348 549 others

yourusername: All Too Well 10 minute version out July 1.

view comments:

formula_y/n: She really said: Let me just remind all of you what this man has done.💅

holly_leclerccc: she's an icon she's a legend and she is the moment!

eras_y/n: watch your back Neymar, watch your back😈

y/nwhereareyou: 10 MINUTES????

charles_leclerc: you❤️

liked by yourusername

pierregasly: you're working overtime huh??

- yourusername: always am😇

trulyleclerc: Y/N said: When they go low, I go LOWER

[autisticandroids]

au fics part two: canon-a-little-to-the-left

alright i'm a little late to the current round of @spnficrecfest. on account of I Hauve Covid. that's also why i missed the long fic / short fic round, and i will go back and do that at some point, but not yet. anyway. two fic rec lists for this round. one for true aus, and one for canon-a-little-to-the-left aus.

i may not be a huge fan of traditional aus, but i'm an absolute aficionado of things that relate to canon but put a rather different spin on it. i have been looking forward to this day (rubs my little hands together).

in order of wordcount:

patchwork drapery of dreams by tigriswolf, 1k, chose not to warn

a decade or so later, victor henriksen catches ben braeden. gen.

orison by whereupon, 2k, mcd

after it all ends, cas baptises dean. destiel.

kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep by lise, 4k, chose not to warn

a disturbing little story. it's all in the context. sam/lucifer.

sleepwalking the life fantastic by insanetrolllogic, 5k, chose not to warn

gen. it's 1995 and sam wakes up normal.

cheyenne by deadlybride, 8k, mcd

victor henriksen and sam winchester in the lebanon alternate universe. gen.

the following story takes place at night by beetlebeverage, 12k, chose not to warn

this one blew my socks off. destiel, but very strange. a season two au. the winchesters come across a cult.

i would most especially recommend this one if you're a fan of the first church at the end of the world, which should tbh also be on this list, but it's on my endverse list instead.

the white whale. by orange_crushed, 14k, violence and chose not to warn

generations in the future, cas still works with winchesters.

right of conquest should also objectively be on here but i recced it already [sob emoji].

freakshow by mme_yersinia, 26k

stanford era dean, and an angel in a cage. destiel.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by askance, 31k, mcd

some things are fandom classics for a reason. a destiel haunting.

back road, black road by eden22, 167k, violence warning

so can i confess something? i'm actually only about halfway through reading this, currently. which i feel like is against the spirit of a fic rec list. i thought of trying to put on a burst of speed and finish it specifically to rec it, but it's simply too long for that. and i just can't not rec it, it's way too good.

anyway, this fic is balls to the wall insane. perfect "what if the early seasons actually had the vibes they pretend to" story. specifically, kind of a "what if born under a bad sign was good and also was the entirety of seasons one and two" thing.

sam never made it to stanford, and when dean goes to pick him up, he isn't there. the level of gore and body horror in this fic raised my eyebrows, and you guys know me. i'm no slouch. half is dean pov, half is sam pov. the sam pov is actually my favorite because it's so insane and fucked. oh and it's also destiel.

[why4anne]

Daylight

Part: 4/?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Follow the love story of a global pop icon and a monegasque F1 driver

Face claim: Taylor Swift (Singing) + others

Masterlist

2019

It's no secret that the former power-couple's relationship ended with bad blood as cheating allegations regarding Neymar leaked in January of 2018. The pair announced their split on social media two weeks later. However, it seems as if the Brazilian is not ready to give up on his ex yet. He has posted multiple instagram posts using lyrics from her recent album Lover which the singer wrote about current boyfriend, F1 driver Charles Leclerc. We have yet to get a statement about this from Leclerc or L/N.

A post uploaded by Neymar last Thursday captioned: "I'll save all my dirtiest jokes for you, meu amor😘"

When asked about these posts the PSG star responded

"I will always love her and she is an amazing woman. I've made mistakes in the past but I will do everything in my power to right my wrongs"

The world is understandably shocked by this statement seeing how the pop-star is in a one year long relationship with Ferrari F1 driver Charles Leclerc and even wrote an entire album stating her love for him. The couple is one of the most popular celebrity couples today and the fans love their romantic interactions on social media and in the F1 paddock.

What do you think? Is this Neymar simply being jealous of the love Leclerc is getting both from Y/N and the fans or is he serious? Follow E!News for more updates.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, gigihadid and 2 304 583 others

charles_leclerc: She's mine. You may have had her once. But I got her all the time.

view comments:

leleleclerc: Show him Charles!!!

pieregasly: My man🐶

liked by charles_leclerc

- pierragazzolina: Pierre??!!

- titiwolff: what is with that emoji??😭

janelle_leclerzz: okay I get it Neymar. If I fumbled the bag that hard I would regret it too

y/nhouse: damn, Charles is really out here living my dream life😫

slaybastianvettel: the second pic🥵

arthur_leclerc: good work brother👍

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: always yours❤️

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername

liked by: badgalriri, bellahadid and 8 493 392 others

yourusername: Baby, I just wanna be yours I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

view comments:

elitey/n: damn our girl really said Neymar who?

girlieprix: Charles and y/n are really squashing any speculations as they should!😤

y/ngirle4life: IS THAT AN ENGAGEMENT RING IN THE LAST PIC???

- safetycar92: OMG IT'S HUGE!!!

- juniorlecclerc: In her material girl era💅

- y/nfanzzaccount: It's on her right hand guys. Chill down

charles_leclerc: You're so beautiful mon amour😍

liked by yourusername

- l/ny/nleclerc: and I can't even get a response back from my guy🥹

yourusername:

liked by charles_leclerc, harrystyles and 13 348 549 others

yourusername: All Too Well 10 minute version out July 1.

view comments:

formula_y/n: She really said: Let me just remind all of you what this man has done.💅

holly_leclerccc: she's an icon she's a legend and she is the moment!

eras_y/n: watch your back Neymar, watch your back😈

y/nwhereareyou: 10 MINUTES????

charles_leclerc: you❤️

liked by yourusername

pierregasly: you're working overtime huh??

- yourusername: always am😇

trulyleclerc: Y/N said: When they go low, I go LOWER

[tobiotaesan]

ハイキュー!! x 보넥도

synopsis: which teams from haikyuu i think bnd would suit/play for

genre: bnd haikyuu au!

cw: none

note: this is for self-indulgence purposes. may not fit your thoughts because its based on mine lmao. i spent way too much time to make this.

park sungho ☆ 성호

inarizaki !!

body physique-wise, tbh i think he should go for date tech however, his playing style and personality would be the most suitable to being in a team like inarizaki. specifically the ability to stay calm despite the tension and pressure of the game/opponent. i think he would be such a great addition to them and i think he would handle the miya twins well. he can be like a sugawara counterpart to them. sungho is also quite competitive although he can be a little bit clueless at times. regardless, he still strives to be a strong and reliable member of the team.

additional: i think he would clash often with suna though lmao. but would later on realize they actually work well together and would form some unspoken "i still hate your ahh but i have gained respect for you" brocode thing. also, he would be the miya twins number one favorite target to tease, please pray for sungho!

lee sanghyeok ☆ 리우

karasuno !!

riwoo has this vibe that matches karasuno. i think the closest way i can desribe it is the passion and drive to do something that you really love. riwoo is bnd's youngest performance director and has traits of a leader. his leadership skills is an additional trait that makes him karasuno material to me. plus, karasuno going through their flop era after the little giant (im sorry for the lack of better terms) and then being blessed with skilled first years (tobio and shoyo), he would make that his biggest source of motivation to play. i think he would be most similar with sugawara's overall leading style (a bit more strict and direct though). but skills and character wise..... walk with me, hoshiumi. but that is saved for bnd as haikyuu characters.

additional: he would get dragged by noya to be in the goofballs club and he would lose his sanity. somehow managed to have made some sort of bond with tsuki and now yamaguchi clings to him too. daichi would have him in the list of potentially the next captain of karasuno once they graduate. and lastly, yachi would be so grateful to have him in the team, he helps her out a lot

myung jaehyun ☆ 명재현

fukurodani !!

saw somewhere (i forgot) that he would be in aoba johsai but i think they would get overwhelmed with his energy. on the other hand, teams who can handle the overwhelmingly extroverted, energy filled, mbti "f" personified goofballs, are karasuno and fukurodani. he would suit karasuno as well but they have enough of the energetic members already. please let the introverts of karasuno have a rest, pray for their sanity for they have noya, shoyo, yamaguchi (honorary) and tanaka. and then i also imagined him playing alongside bokuto and realized that they would be such an inseparable duo together (in court) like they would just match each other's energy. overall i think fukurodani's energy has a good balance that would hone his skills well

additional: bokuto would absolutely adore him! hinata would be jealous because mj would replace him as bokuto's new "apprentice" but then would also admire mj's skills (he improved quickly after training endlessly with bokuto) and end up befriending him.

han dongmin ☆ 태산

nekkoma !!

"he is kageyama! he should be in karasuno!" ALRIGHT NOW! trust me, there is no bigger enthusiast for the kageyama x taesan than me, my username is literally tobiotaesan BUT hear me out. taesan is also a cat and karasuno are crows. kinda fitting for him too but this household is sole believer of cat taesan. sometimes people can be associated with animals based on their characteristics (literally kpop idols deciding their rep emoji) or resemblance to it. it cannot be denied that nekkoma really are a bunch of cats. but thats not actually why i put taesan in nekkoma. taesan has great potential to be a really good blocker (he is a giant like his name suggests), following kuroo's steps. overall however, i think he would be a well-rounded player. and like everyones thoughts, he really would have similar playing style as tobio. but he would be pushed towards being focused as a blocker more to take advantage of his height. but then he is also quite brainy and would definitely contribute to strategizing with kenma and hence, i think he is very fitting to be in nekkoma.

additional: kenma would hate him rip. when he first tried to present his thoughts and suggestions during a game (the opponents were almost on par with them) kenma was pissed lol but then he realized that taesan was right, they won and kenma got even more pissed lmao

kim donghyun ☆ 이한

aoba johsai !!

IM SORRY BUT HE IS NOT KENMA! he is another case of "i dont think he should be in that team but instead *insert other team name*" but walk with me now. does he or does he not resemble oikawa? i know i said this is not a bnd as haikyuu characters but really! i cannot be the only one! he is a little bit more reserved and collected compared to oikawa but the overall dynamics of aoba johsai members, their passion for volleyball and playing style, is something that i see leehan would be able to maintain. he might be considered to become the next captain but would decline it. he gives me the silent but deadly on the court and then a softie fish obssessed loser outside (lmao)

additional: oikawa now has competition with having the most fangirls lol but he would love training leehan. he would want to make him better than kageyama lmao. is definitely on the watchlist of coach washijou, he is being considered to be invited for under-19 world youth summer training (? does anyone the exact name for it) like oikawa, ushijima thinks he shouldve joined shiratorizawa instead

kim woonhak ☆ 운학

date tech !!

coach washijou would like him because he is tall and is still growing but i think he would be too intimidated by ushijima and hence, date tech. regardless, he unexpecredly fits really well with them. his height still comes in handy with the team. date tech is known for their defense aka the "iron wall" and somewhat rage-filled passion when playing and woonhak would just be in awe of their gameplay process. he would love being a player for the team and would strive to become a very good blocker like his seniors. he wants to be part of the iron wall too. was intimidated by ushijima but he improved so quickly and was invited to train with him in the under-19 world youth summer training (forgot the exact name sorry)

additional: when he was in middle school (idk wtf that is actually) he wanted to find a sport that would suit him so that he would know which club to join in when he is in high school. his dad took him to watch the inter-high championships and fell in love with volleyball. may or may not have watched the little giant and aspired to be like him but he grew up to be taller than him. then, he realized his potential to be a blocker and went to date tech.

- 끝 -

©️ tobiotaesan

do not repost or translate without permission !

up next: boynextdoor as haikyuu characters!

[itsuki-minamy]

"K – LETTER STORY"

BLUE: "FUSHIMI AND THE REPORT"

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

Saruhiko Fushimi sometimes referred to himself, somewhat self-deprecatingly, as a middle manager.

He regards Reisi Munakata and Seri Awashima as his superiors, coordinates the special forces members on the scene, and sometimes acts as a supporter of both parties.

Both Munakata and Awashima had some quirks, but they were basically competent and understanding superiors, and the members of "Scepter 4" diligently and faithfully followed young Fushimi's orders.

It is inevitable that he will work in that position.

Fushimi knew each member of "Scepter 4" well, including their characteristics, temperament, and current health status, to the point of being able to laugh bitterly.

During the "Homura" era and before, he did not like to be in groups, but now, although he still clicks his tongue and has an apathetic demeanor, he has become an excellent facilitator.

From Fushimi's perspective, human resource management was similar to a card game. Choosing which people to assign which jobs is very similar to choosing which cards to play in a card game.

Fushimi was able to keep track of each employee's employment status using a highly confidential application that he had developed independently and which was now officially adopted throughout "Scepter 4" with Munakata's approval.

Of course, the application can be opened on PDA, etc., but Fushimi, who wanted to check multiple windows, often checked various documents on his PC when he returned to his base.

He also today ably read the reports presented by each member of the special working group.

A certain person has posted information about Strain sightings during the search, along with an accompanying photo. The person who came to court to obtain an order had submitted a report on the current situation.

Although they all differ in degree, their points are clear and their sentences easy to read.

Basically, although he rarely said it, Fushimi highly valued each member of "Scepter 4". He did not mention Akiyama, Benzai and Kamo, but Enomoto, Fuse, Goto and Hidaka were considered to have enough strength as they had unique skills and perspectives, and were patient and dedicated to their work.

In the game, there is only one person, Andy Domyoji, besides Joker or Wild Card. That day he also received a call from Domyoji.

[There's a weird guy, so I'm going to chase him.]

Fushimi let out a groan.

When he looked at the time, it was midnight. That was about half a day ago. For some reason, the message had been uploaded to the expense request folder, so it took Fushimi a while to review it.

Since then, a series of short messages have continued.

[It's really dangerous, so I'm going on a business trip to the north.]

He had no idea what he was talking about.

Fushimi made a tsukkomi that is uncharacteristic of him.

"Public servants should not act on his intuition!"

He slammed his fist on the desk.

"At least write down where you're going! No, first of all, don't go on a business trip without asking your boss for permission! That's too free! Also, don't use emojis in report emails!"

Domyoji always put a bright spot at the end of his sentences. He tried to contact him, but was dissuaded by the following text message:

[Oh, no. If I ever meet the culprit, I'm afraid I'll break my tongue. I will send you a separate report.]

At that moment, Awashima appeared, patted Fushimi on the shoulder as if to show her respect, and placed a postcard on the table in front of him.

"It just arrived via express delivery."

After saying that, she left.

It shows a man tied with a rope in the snow and Andy Domyoji next to him with a dazzling smile on his face and making a peace sign.

On the back of the postcard, the details of what happened are spelled out in small print.

Fushimi couldn't contain himself and screamed.

"Don't send me a postcard with the report about the arrest of the criminal!"

By the way, the captured man was Strain, who had committed a serious crime that "Scepter 4" had been chasing for the past six months. That's why Andy Domyoji is a wild card.

[jeonstellate]

flashpoint: forward

junhui’s post-9 pm overthinking led him to you, ten years into the future.

๑༄ wen junhui x gender neutral!reader

๑༄ time travel!au — little fluff(?), mostly neutral

๑༄ bulleted list format — 3K words

masterlist | flashpoint: backward

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑༄ wrote this almost a year ago && decided to wait until i made significant progress on the second part, but i kinda— anw. long story short, here’s the first part even tho the second one isn’t done yet *insert dancer emoji here*

๑༄ personally loved this, if you can’t tell by the word count lol, so i sincerely hope y’all do too <3

for this specific universe, the world lives in whichever time they wish

however, the ability to jump through time isn’t a common ability

nor it is a well-studied area of science

it isn’t necessarily a regulated movement(?), either — time travelers don’t carry passports or any documents that record their movement from one time to another

to top if off, no one knows exactly how one gets the ability to jump through time as well; it just appears randomly once the blessed individual comes of age

what people do know, however, is the fact that there is a set of rules every time traveler is strongly advised to abide by

first & foremost, every time traveler mustn’t mess with the flow of events — specifically those that concern an entire population

which means they can’t prevent any public figure from crossing onto the other side of veil — political or otherwise

they can’t introduce a current technology to the people of the past, either — especially since inventions have the power to drive social advancement

basically everything that can impact how history is told is forbidden

saving endangered animals through time travel is included in that btw

tragically

&& also bringing forward obsolete stuff to the present

[that means no bringing forward quality web-based flash games or the psp. sigh]

second, every time traveler cannot reveal to the people of time periods prior to time travel becoming "common" knowledge that they are, in fact, time travelers

that sounds like a trippy sentence to comprehend completely, so let’s paraphrase

time travelers can’t change when time traveling became something that people just know to exist

if they travel to some time in the BCE, they can’t mention anything abt time traveling to the ppl there — bc time travel isn’t heard of yet during that time period

same thing if they travel to any CE period when time travel is basically "non-existent" still

truth be told, no one can exactly pin point when time travel became a common knowledge

so it’s a little tricky

that’s why it’s advisable to keep quiet abt it when going to the past

unless it’s recent past, then that should be fine

but not so much when going forward in time

since yk, they fs already know that time travel exist if people of the present already know abt it

the third advice for time travelers is to not stay too long in the past or the future

the unofficial handbook for time travelers didn’t really specify how long is too long, so everyone interprets it differently

some think it means a few days max, while some think it’s a few weeks

some even think it means a few years

but anw

the point is, according to the handbook, if one stays too long in the time they don’t belong in, changes will occur in their present

which will domino effect

to not only their future, but potentially to everyone else’s lives as well

[write that down—]

in a way, that connects advice three to advice one

thankfully, you aren’t blessed to be a time traveler

sure, you don’t get to experience the perks that comes w time traveling

but at least you don’t have to remember all those rules

&& wtv unmentioned precautionary tales there are abt time traveling

unfortunately for wen junhui, though, he is a time traveler

which means he has to keep all those rules in mind whenever he enjoys the perks of time traveling

sigh

.

.

.

.

.

junhui doesn’t have a favorite era to travel to

he, quite honestly, just travels on a whim

remember that "end of the world" talk bc of the mayan calendar?

yea

junhui didn’t believe in it either

but, nevertheless, he still time traveled to the day after the supposed end date just to prove to himself that he was right not to believe it

&& that there was definitely still tomorrow after the so-called "end of the world" day

ngl that extremely brief stay in that particular date was for his post-9 pm self — the one that worries abt every little thing that has ever happened in his life & that he has ever heard of in passing

basically his post-9 pm self has some sort of heightened anxiety or smth, that’s why he never trusts anything he thinks of from 9 pm onwards

[i personally believe this btw. this belief has saved me multiple times. i highly recommend :D]

still, whenever his post-9 pm self gets too worked up worrying abt nothing, it’s difficult for him to sleep

so it’s best to quell anything that can be a source of anxiety asap

esp since he needs — wants — all the sleep he can get

junhui has also traveled into the year 3000

solely bc he heard his friend hansol play a song abt it

&& the lyrics mentioned smth abt ppl in that year living underwater

now, that lyric could’ve been entirely fictional, a result of merely observing the trend of global climate change

but, considering the world they all live in, it’s also plausible that at least one of the songwriters for that song is a time traveler

so, naturally, junhui wants to confirm it for himself

to his surprise (not really), they do live underwater by then

&& remember the flying cars ppl of the past collectively envisioned for the future?

they’re apparently floating vehicles instead, like submarines, which can give the impression that they’re flying

it’s actually pretty cool to see

almost like the future in meet the robinsons, but like . . . underwater

anw

junhui doesn’t just fact-checks the future or any future-related things, he also has a similar habit for the past

aside from making sure wtv he read abt in books are accurate, he also fancies seeing tourist spots in their young state — before the effect of time & tourists took a toll

just to name a few . . .

he went to see the great wall at its peak condition: complete & still intact

he had admired the taj mahal as a recently completed building

same goes for the eiffel tower & the entirety of intramuros

not to mention the not-yet-green statue of liberty

& disneyland, back when there were merely 20 attractions in the entire park

suffice to say, junhui enjoys his time traveling abilities to the fullest

despite not actually using it often

in fact, by this point in time, he hasn’t time traveled in a while: his last time jump being more than half a year ago

it was, if he remembers correctly, to visit the cats in ancient egypt

sure, he could’ve looked around for the pyramids too & the other wonders of ancient egypt, but he was literally just there for the cats

cause, yk, he just thought of them & how dissimilar they might be to modern-day cats

to no one’s surprise, there wasn’t any notable differences

so, yea

no other escapades followed after that trip

that is, until his post-9 pm self got better of him

wen junhui, like any other night prior, just wants to sleep

well, at least his body does

his mind, though . . . it seems like it has other plans

bc it just . . . wouldn’t . . . shut off

[i fcking hate it when that happens]

his brain, for wtv reason, just decided that it was the best time to think abt the future

not just any future, though: his future, specifically

sure, he has traveled to the future countless of times, but those trips were never to catch a glimpse of his own future life

partly bc he was never actually interested in knowing beforehand

but mostly bc he knew that the future isn’t exactly set in stone

sure, the near future might not change drastically when he decides not to eat his usual breakfast, but there’s no telling how much each choice dominos into the distant future

thus, it’s reasonable to assume that, just bc he sees it when he time travels, it doesn’t automatically mean that that’s how his future will play out exactly

really, a part of him just wants to stay cautious abt accidentally changing his future

‘cause he can totally see that happening:

after seeing how his life is in the future, he might potentially develop a conscious preference towards things that he thinks will build into the future he saw

not knowing that the decisions he made due to his hyperawareness actually altered how his future will eventually play out

wen junhui doesn’t want to experience that

like, at all

bc it’s def a recipe for disappointment & heartbreak

but, apparently, his brain begs to differ

bc it’s still trying to convince him that it wouldn’t hurt

to know how his life will going exactly 10 years from now

if anything, it might even provide some comfort . . . to know that, yk, he’ll be just fine 10 years from now

but at the same time,

what if he gets so obsessed w making sure he doesn’t change his future after he goes back to the present??

he would be so stressed for the next 10 years until his present finally catches up to the moment he time traveled to

oh heavens

junhui of the present just — quite literally — want to fcking sleep

so he tossed

and turned

blanket off

blanket on

one foot out

foot back in bc he remembered abt the monsters that might try to pull him by his leg

lie down on his stomach

lie down on his back

put one arm under his pillow

and—

nothing

absolutely nothing

he’s still wide awake

tragically

once he sees a semblance of sun rays through the window curtain, he defeatedly decided to compromise

and finally time traveled 10 years forward

truthfully, time traveling for wen junhui is v easy

at least after he mastered it

which took a bit ngl

he just has to think of time & place he wants to travel to, mean them, close his eyes, & let the magic do its thing

normally, he would open his eyes as soon as he feels like it was safe to do so

just to confirm that he did end up in the time & place he intended

but for this one specifically, he didn’t even want to bother confirming that he arrived at his destination

instead, he settled for accepting the different feeling of the sheets under him as such

contrast to how uncomfortable & hot his own bedsheets and blanket felt to him tonight,

the ones currently touching his skin felt comfortable & cool

aka literally the perfect recipe for sleep

junhui personally has been begging his body to sleep for hours now at this point

so after processing the sweet relief of comfortability, he basically knocked out cold almost instantly

[he was getting so frustrated—]

[i’m so happy for him *wipes tear*]

now, don’t get him wrong

he’s normally cautious whenever he time travels, esp if it’s within his lifetime

given that it’s a "special" circumstance of sorts

that shall be explained later . . . after he wakes up

he’s just really tired, okay?

let him be

let him discover how much he fcked up once he wakes up

from a deep sleep he so deserved

.

.

.

once junhui finally wakes up from his slumber, it took him a moment to remember what he did before he slept

still unaware of his night shenanigans & barely awake, he makes a beeline to the bathroom

except the path that normally takes him to the bathroom didn’t actually take him there

but rather to a closet that he doesn’t even recognize

undeterred, he turns & tries the second doorknob he grasps

thankfully, that door opens to reveal what he’s looking for: a bathroom

the harsh lighting essentially forces him to fully open his eyes

and he finally notices that there are two toothbrushes by the sink

he could’ve sworn he only has one toothbrush out of the box

so he absolutely has no idea which one he should use

much less why there are suddenly two in the first place

junhui decides to not think too much of it

and just takes the safest option: only using a mouthwash & moving onto the rest of his morning routine

he’s not abt to take a risk abt that yk

who knows what he uses the other toothbrush for that he just can’t remember atm

now refreshed & completely awake, he finally finally remembers what he did last night before he drifted off to sleep

he has time traveled 10 years forward

which means he’s currently in his body 10 years into the future

alright, guess this is the right second for a quick rundown of how time traveling works in this universe

if the time he wants to travel to is within his lifetime, his consciousness will enter his body during that time

which means he’s inside the time flow & whatever he does may impact the succeeding events

which also means he has to be extremely mindful

if the time he wants to travel to is outside his lifetime, may that be before or after, then he’s just . . . an entity with no actual form

like an invisible ghost

which means he’s outside the time flow & he’s free to say wtv & move whichever way he wants without bothering ppl

or even worrying abt accidentally altering the timeline

however, if he’s not skilled enough, he might accidentally manifest as a person that didn’t/doesn’t rlly exist during that particular time

which means that, once again, he’ll be inside the time flow when he shouldn’t be

actually, if he’s a seasoned enough traveler, anything is possible: he may still touch things without necessarily being inside the time flow, he may potentially alter the timeline without having a vessel, etc.

but anw

now, with all that knowledge in mind, wen junhui looks around with purpose

first he turns to the mirror to intently observe how he physically changed over the years

then, once satisfied, turns his attention to the bathroom itself: how he recognizes some of the brands but not exactly the packaging

and how painfully obvious it is that his future self shares the place with one other person

has inflation gotten so bad that he had to share his apartment w someone?

truthfully, he doesn’t rlly mind that

but it means his chances of getting caught are higher

esp if his flatmate happens to be home atm & he has no idea who they are

junhui takes it upon himself to explore his bedroom too

& look for clues abt who he might be living w

assuming that they are close enough, that is

it doesn’t take him that long to find what he’s seeking, thankfully

bc there are two framed decorations on his bedroom walls that basically answered all his current questions

one of which is an intimate wedding photograph of him and someone else

which means . . .

wen junhui of the future is fcking married

and his flatmate can only be his spouse

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright

now

it’d be a complete lie to say that wen junhui of the past anticipated that

bc he totally didn’t

and honestly, who can blame him?

dude doesn’t even have a significant other in his present

and, judging who he ends up marrying,

he hasn’t even met the person he ends up w yet

nor has he heard of them

bc he has yet to hear the name that he can only assume is theirs next to his on the other framed decoration

which has his name & [first name] in large print — surrounded by small handwritten messages

all of a sudden, junhui has more questions than what he started w prior to discovering the identity of his flatmate

how did they meet?

how long were they a couple before they wed?

how long have they been married at this point?

when did they marry?

when did they me—

and as if on cue, a soft knock resonated from the door,

instantly freezing junhui in place

followed by a: "jun, are you awake yet?"

thinking on his feet, junhui quickly busied himself w making the bed

so when the person who knocked inevitably opens the door, he can use it as an excuse

"oh, good. you’re up."

junhui immediately thought the picture has done you no justice as soon as you appeared by the doorway

he swears he even stops breathing for a sec after seeing you

"yea . . . i was just fixing the bed . . ."

he has no idea how he’s able to act like he didn’t just fall in love at first sight

but perhaps his fear of giving himself away is the one to thank

hopefully, his acting was convincing enough to foul you

not that he wants to lie to you or anything

he’s just being cautious bc he doesn’t know if his future self has let you onto his secret

and he certainly don’t wanna be the one responsible for that talk

"once you’re done, come join me for breakfast, yea?"

phew

it seems like you’re none the wiser

that’s good for him

now, all he has to do is to play along & not blow his cover

sounds easy enough

right?

right?

"ofc. lemme just grab my phone & we can head out tgt"

.

.

.

wrong!

bc, for one, he has no idea who you are

besides being his spouse, and your name,

and perhaps also how you physically look like,

junhui doesn’t know you

and what kind of husband doesn’t know anything abt his spouse???

not a good one, for starters

sigh

all of a sudden, he was so glad he bothered to take acting classes when he was younger

to be fair, he did take them to help him blend in whenever he wants to travel w a body rather than as a ghost

which is exactly what this situation is

except this one’s a bit different . . . in a way

‘cause now he gets to use it to keep his marriage intact

and for the sake of his future, he needs to not mess it up

no pressure at all ammirite

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hi Cal my dear! Wishing you a lovely weekend! And sending MAJOR props for everything you’ve posted in the last day it was all fabulous! Here’s lots of emojis to prompt your brilliant mind :)

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ (THEYRE MARRIED!!!! LOVE THAT FOR THEM! So looking forward to seeing them with their new house and baby and their beautiful life together!)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(buckley parents suuuuuck! AND ITS FINALLY TIME FOR A DANIEL REVEAL! On the edge of my seat!)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(loved chim’s pov! Thats my sweet guy he’s such a softie romantic! Very excited to see whose pov is next and find out who is approaching the library!)

- PCA <3

HI PCA <3 <3 <3 <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

42 for ⚡️(YEAH MARRIED! HONEYMOON TIME):

---

Buck and Eddie have to work three shifts before they can leave for their little honeymoon getaway. Whoever’s idea that - his - is obviously an idiot, because it’s torture. All he wants to do is have lots of sex in the little beach house AirBnb he booked in San Clemente with his husband, but no! He has to go to work and spend several days walking into fires, getting vomited on, and most importantly, not having sex. He barely survives. It’s really quite a travesty. 

It’s actually a pretty decent sign for Buck that he’s really fucking happy with his life that he doesn’t want to be at work. He loves work. His job is the greatest job in the world. His team is the best team on earth. Most of the time? Can’t get enough of it. But in the wake of their wedding - which was perfect and stunning and everyone else wishes they had wedding photos in front of a fire truck from the 1920s - Buck has other things occupying his brain. Much more exciting things. Which is kind of bad, considering he should really just be focused on saving lives. 

By the end of the third shift, Buck is practically vibrating, waiting for the time to end. They’re all packed. They’re leaving first thing in the morning. Not soon enough. 

Adriana and Ravi are coming to stay with Chris for the five days they’ll be gone. Chris thinks this is very cool. Much cooler than the alternative, which was going to be Pepa. Buck thinks this is a little unfair to poor Pepa, who has watched him hundreds of times. But he gets it. They’re younger and more fun and will almost certainly let him get away with more than Eddie would. 

When their shift finally does end, Buck can feel himself motoring through their leaving routine. He tries to light a fire under Eddie’s feet with his eyes so Eddie will move a bit quicker. 

“Changing like you’re between sets at the Eras Tour is not going to make tomorrow come any quicker,” Eddie tells him. 

“Oh, he’s got Eras Tour references,” Buck teases.

Obviously he has made Eddie watch the movie. Twice. But only twice! No matter what Eddie may or may not have complained. 

“We’ve still got hours,” Eddie says. “Calm down.”

“I will not,” Buck scoffs. “I am as excited for this as the wedding!”

Buck has made this point clear. Several times. They made cuts to their wedding budget so they could afford this waterfront rental. Buck is so fucking excited for this honeymoon. 

He understands that this might sound somewhat insane. Maybe a little vapid.

---

63 for 🚨 (yeahhhhh sorry for the angst):

---

It’s not easy or stable or linear. But he’s working on it.

The day after he learns about Daniel, Buck calls in sick to work. Takes a mental health day at Eddie’s insistence. This turns out to be a wise call. There’s a horrific factory fire that almost goes badly, and Buck probably wouldn’t have been in a good headspace for that. To make matters worse, his parents actually show up at the station. Eddie sends them away, for which Buck is grateful. He doesn’t want to see them again. 

And he doesn’t have to. 

Maddie comes over at his request and they talk through everything. He’s mad. Really mad. 

“You should have told me. After everything we’ve been through together, the trial, moving, how could you not tell me?” 

“I was terrified to tell you!” She admits. “Especially after Afghanistan and the trial, Evan! You slip into such dark places. Places where I can’t reach you. I didn’t want to risk it!”

And the thing is, he can understand that. She’s not wrong. He has descended into dark spells again and again since being honorably discharged. 

“And, honestly, Evan… I didn’t know how to talk about him,” Maddie continues. “I was never allowed. She’d get so upset at the slightest mention… It was like even thinking about him made me feel like I would be punished.”

Buck’s anger deflates a lot after that. Because, really. He can’t imagine. He can’t fucking imagine. 

They argue some more. They cry. They make up. How could Buck ever possibly stay mad at her forever? She loved him enough for two parents, when his own refused. 

So he moves forward. He keeps up with therapy. He cherishes his loved ones. He tries to live up to the role Christopher has graciously given to him. That Eddie allows him to have. He works on loving himself, to be worthy of the love they give him.

And life moves forward with him. 

ii.

They have their first Christmas together as a couple. As a family. Eddie, who wasn’t really a big holiday guy ever before Christopher, loves every second of it. It’s like holidays finally have a reason to feel magical, rather burdensome. He has the exact family he was missing before, in order for them to feel perfect. 

Buck goes all out. Decorates, plays music, bakes. Spoils Chris way more than he needs to. He comes back to life, in a way he’s been struggling to do since the whole Daniel thing. He is holiday cheer incarnate. Eddie is so disgustingly in love with him. 

On Christmas morning, sitting around a faux-pine tree, watching their kid open heaps more presents than Eddie got at that age, Eddie can’t help but feel a strange sense of tranquility. Like, oh. Right. This is what life is supposed to be. He can imagine ten more Christmases from now. He can imagine wedding bands. He can imagine more kids.

---

48 for 🧟(it's Eddie!!!!):

---

“Well, yeah,” Buck replies. “Good thing Los Angeles is a very small town. Like one intersection.”

“Okay, smart ass,” Eddie sighs. 

“Where in L.A.?” Buck amends his question. 

Okay, fine. It’s a fair question.

“Mid-City area,” Eddie explains. Not that that might mean anything to Buck. “My wife… Shannon… Her mom had an apartment out there.”

“Her mom?” Buck asks. “You said she was caring for her, right?”

Eddie shifts in the driver’s seat uncomfortably. He doesn’t really want to get into all of it. It’s not easy to talk about. But, then again, he agreed to Buck coming. So obviously Buck is going to have to learn more of it than what Eddie explained to him that first night. Which wasn’t very much. And if they do find Shannon? Well, then Buck will probably hear a lot of it. There’s a lot Eddie needs to say to her. He’s not sure how composed he’ll be able to keep himself, after all this time. 

“Yeah,” Eddie confirms. “She was terminally ill. Cancer.”

“Fuck,” Buck sighs. “I’m sorry, man.”

“Thanks.”

It feels strange to accept condolences for Janet, but he does it anyway. She wasn’t his mother. They weren’t that close. He feels like he probably cost her time with her daughter. Definitely with her grandson. But… Yeah. He’s sad she’s probably dead. She was always very kind to him. In a judgment free way his own parents couldn’t comprehend. Not that he should be thinking badly of them. 

“I don’t know if she died or not before…”

“Zombies?”

“Yeah.”

“Kind of hope she did, for her sake,” Buck replies.

Eddie nods.

[wallterandtoradventures]

⚔️"A new realm? Let's explore it!" 🧱"Let's not."

A MULTIFANDOM, REGRETEVATOR-CENTRIC ASK BLOG, INTERACTIVE RP BLOG, COMIC BLOG AND DISCUSSION BLOG FOR MY REGRETEVATOR AU my main is @muntdane, which I share with my buddy Mint! You can also find me on twitter, among other places! You can call me Leon, Brutus, or whatever else you know me by! MULTI-MUSE, more characters will be introduced overtime (hopefully, lol.)

Posts will be either drawn or done in roblox studio Wallter was designed by my buddy Paramedic! However, just about every other design on this blog is made by me. Credits will be given where credit is due, though! this blog may feature violence, blood, and substance abuse

⚔️ and 🧱 used to differentiate between TOR (my regretevator OC) and Wallter! (and yes, you can use them as emoji pronouns too.) Wallter uses He/Any, TOR uses He/Him! OCs, other canon characters, other wallter blogs, and crossovers from other fandoms are welcome and encouraged to interact! this blog follows the Wallmark+Lampert family headcanon. more info under the cut!

BASIC PREMISE

TOR is a dynabloxian, an ancient robloxian race that had been presumed to have gone extinct for about as long as dinosaurs. In this multiverse, death of old age is not a thing, however, robloxians had an exceptionally large fighting culture back in the day that had wiped all dynabloxians out. Wallter is... also a dynabloxian, however he had been preserved in ice when he was rather young and had been uncovered by ro-bio scientists. As such, he is the only modern example of a dynabloxian in the current era. Watch what happens when TOR finds the second surviving member of his people! You can learn more about TOR's character here, and get a glimpse of his dialog here!

MAIN TAGS

🥂GENERAL OOC POSTS 🥂LEON'S LORE RAMBLINGS 🥂ARTPOST 🥂FANART RBS -- ⚔️TOR RESPONSE 🧱WALLTER RESPONSE 🥂ASKS 🥂COMICS 🥂SHITPOSTS 🥂NONCANON more character tags subject to be added -- multiverse 233443 is for any fan-content relating to all multiverse stories (the place where this AU takes place in) multiverse of hearts preferably should be used by me only!!

BOUNDARIES

Proship and Drama DNI

Will only do ship RP if I'm friends with you, obviously won't be canon to the story. sorry, I'm sensitive about romance so this is easier! That being said, there are heavy shipping aspects in-story, not just relating to wallmark! And, of course, shipping-related asks and fanart and headcanons is completely fine lol.

While I am 18, refrain from NSFW asks. I want the multiverse to be enjoyed by all audiences!

Suggestive fanart of my adult OCs is allowed, however, my friends OCs will be featured on this blog as well. Do NOT draw suggestive fanart of my friends OCs.

I am not comfortable with walllamp and woodlamp! Do not even make jokes about it. (DW, I know the family isn't canon.)

Magic anons are allowed, but I can ignore the magic anon for whatever reason I want. I'm also not going to collect anon emojis since I use emoji markers for characters, but feel free to mark yourself with an emoji anyways.

I am autistic, please elaborate if you are being serious about something! Please elaborate if you are in-character or out-of-character!

Do not attach flashing gifs to your interactions with me! :(

DUBS ARE OKAY WITH CREDIT FANART IS OKAY WITH CREDIT USING MY ART FOR EDITS AND PFP IS OKAY WITH CREDIT FANFIC IS OKAY WITH CREDIT ALL I ASK IS YOU SHOW ME WHEN YOU'RE DONE!

[antiendovents]

Content warning for a very brief mention of Hitler, mentions of someone sui baiting, and mentions of autism fakeclaiming. There are also mentions of abuse, but nothing in depth or remotely descriptive.

Please stay safe <3

at the moment, our current host is a cc!wilbur soot introject. one that formed in the soothouse era. He is uncomfortable using fanart as a faceclaim and tends to use actual photos of the cc as that is what he is more comfortable with - that's him, that's how he looks. (He knows he isn't the actual cc, dw).

His pk display name has his name, pronouns, and emoji combo. Pretty.. pretty standard shit, honestly. He has set up the base account to be an extension of his pk. NONE of this is... uncommon behavior that we've seen in the syscord communities we've been in.

However, in the last week alone, he has been legitimately compared to ADOLF HITLER!! By a singlet who also claimed that DID wasn't an illness and that most people are fakers. another singlet in that server asked if we could split an alter for fun and if we could do that for them. Oh. By the way? We're Jewish. Openly Jewish. We have spoken about being Jewish in that server before. That was known information. yet that person still chose to call us. That. I'm thankful that Wilbur, while hurt, finds it an ironic twist of fate as there is a song by wilbur soot called screensaver where there is a direct lyric "call me Hitler, no one will notice the fucking difference".

Another singlet in a different server asked if he could change his name and icon as it is upsetting other members. That, despite the fact he hasn't DONE anything personally, he is triggering people. Just by existing. Also, apparently, just because he exists, he might support the abusive actions.

Now! The system server, that's the worst bit. Another member told us to kill ourselves for having our base account icon be cc!wilbur. The server staff did NOTHING to the member who has on more than one occasion outright bullied people, actively calling people freaks and telling people to kill themselves.

However, we got banned as wilbur stated he was uncomfortable using fanart as a faceclaim and that it would be more damning for his mental health. He even explained why he had changed the base account, as it was giving us active joy during a really hard time in our current life. That we can not help having an autistic special interest. We also got fakeclaimed on the autism front.

thats.. jeez. people really need to understand that introjects aren't their source and do not owe anyone complete source separation. those singlets sound-- horrible. being an introject of wilbur soot is not the same as being ADOLF HITLER!?!? that singlet just sounds stupid as well, because DID is a real disorder that many people have. the other singlet also sounds very fucking stupid because like-- he isn't his source and if people are genuinely triggered by wilbur soot then they're the ones who should be managing that, they shouldn't expect wilbur to change for them, thats just unrealistic. wilbur soot is not the first person to use the name wilbur, actually his name isn't even wilbur. this kind of logic is so stupid, like are you gonna go tell every single evan out there to change their name just because one evan committed an atrocity? no, no you wont.

and that server is just horrible because WHAT. they just let a member go around bullying others and telling people to kill themselves??? thats just stupid. we honestly hate syscord sometimes, that place is so toxic and they struggle to treat systems like regular people despite the fact half of syscord is made by systems. its really just horrible. also the fake claiming-- like really?? whats even the point of that?? autistic people cannot control special interests ((as far as i am aware)). honestly as long as you aren't giving wilbur soot money by streaming his songs / watching his videos then i think its fine ((try stick to watching reuploads of his stuff if possible because then it might not give him money,, i hope?? i don't really know how youtube works sorry))

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // epilogue

summary: a few years later...

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.7k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n:

here it is :) the epilogue :)

(i'm crying, could you tell??) i figured it was time to post this now that we've officially entered the overlapping requiem/michigan cherry era. tbh i was just afraid to let these two go bc i love them so much.

thank you all again SO so much for all the love on this fic. it has truly meant everything to me that so many people came on this actual JOURNEY with me, i never intended this to be so long but here we are.

anyway, stick around for requiem!! and i hope you loved this if you made it this far!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

You were all dressed up in one of your finest gowns, attending the gala that preceded the presidential election.

Coriolanus was running, of course, and you were so incredibly proud. He's worked toward this for years, and you had been there every step of the way since the tenth annual Hunger Games, all those years ago. It felt like a distant memory- albeit one that still haunted you regularly.

You were a whole new person. A Capitol citizen most of the year, and you were happy most of the time. You and Coryo had always gone home in the summers, though, to spend your days surrounded by friends and family under the District Twelve sun. You always looked forward to it, but three months never felt like quite enough time. You missed your old life, but that's all it could be now.

While some Capitol elite was talking your ear off about the upcoming games, that's all you can think about. Well, how after the election that your boyfriend would most certainly win, those summers of peace would be a thing of the past. It was hard to think about, which is why you focussed on how you could work around it. Perhaps you would make smaller visits throughout the year- although Coryo was prepping you for the endless tasks that would even be put onto you as the First Lady of Panem. Once he wins the election, he would propose- and it would be followed by the wedding of the century. You didn't know if you dreaded it or if the pressure of it all just scared you beyond what excitement could repair.

"Miss Y/L/N?" Your train of thought is abruptly interrupted and you hum in response, bringing the champagne glass to your lips, acting like you were paying attention the whole time.

"Yes?" You respond as you lower your glass. "My apologies, I just spaced out for a moment there. It's a big day, after all..." You chuckle to recover, tilting your head slightly at them.

"I was just asking if you had any input in the arena for the next Games, if you could give us any hints." The man asks, seemingly impatient with you getting distracted.

"Oh," You reply, smile fading softly. "No, I- I really try to stay out of all of that." You laugh nervously, gripping tighter onto the glass as you take another sip, relieved when you feel someone's hand on your arm.

"Y/N, come sit. Coriolanus's speech is about to start, he got me to save you a seat at my table." Sejanus says, linking his arm with yours.

You politely excuse yourself from the conversation and allow him to pull you away. "Many thanks." You whisper to him, chuckling slightly as you glance back over your shoulder at the older man you were speaking to. "Some people are so tone-deaf, aren't they?"

"Most definitely." He sighs, shaking his head as he guides you toward his table at the front of the banquet hall, close to the stage. "Apparently that will never change."

Sejanus Plinth was your saving grace all these years, that, however, had never changed. You didn't see him as much anymore, with you being locked up in your office in the Snow penthouse focused on writing book after book until you were burnt out. His role as a doctor in and out of the Districts certainly didn't help either, but you knew he was partial to working back home in Twelve so he could spend more time with Lucy Gray. You were glad he was much more fulfilled in his adult life than you were; you always knew he would do well and you were proud. You had to take moments every so often to remind yourself that when you first met him and Coryo, you had been sad that you wouldn't get to see the men they would become but you had wondered. Now, you had your answers.

"Is that not the truth." You scoff under your breath, smiling and giving a quick wave to a few familiar faces as you pass. You had become somewhat of a people-pleasing expert, the same way Coriolanus had.

You sit down at the table at the front of the room just as the lights slightly dim, and the spotlight hits the stage. You gently cross one leg over the other, careful not to wrinkle your dress and clap in just the perfect polite way you had learned how to over the years, smiling as you see Coryo walk up onto the stage.

He waves, and people whistle and clap, and the smile on his face seems a little more genuine than it normally is during these speeches. Of course, though, this is his final address before he no doubt gets voted in as president, and you know that he is excited.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight..." He says, in a subtle cue to get people to quiet down so he could speak, a drink still in his hand that he delicately hovers above the podium next to him. "This has been such an incredible opportunity for both of us running, and I must say, it's been fun." He tips the glass toward the other table at the front, and your eyes follow the movement to the other candidate, your friend and former classmate, Hilarius Heavensbee. They've never gotten along, and you know Hilarius wants nothing to do with this job. Not really. It makes you sad, a little bit, that his family would push him this far when he had confided in you in his freshman year that it wasn't what he wanted.

The man just gives Coryo a polite but nervous smile, taking another sip out of his own champagne glass. From where you were, you could see his hand trembling. You knew he would have to go next, and Coriolanus Snow was always a tough act to follow.

"Now, I am very happy about this turnout, because I have two important announcements to make." He continues, and whispers fill the room. You look over at Sejanus, a slight look of shock on your face. You didn't know he had anything special to announce, and he always kept you in the loop on everything. Sejanus just shrugs, looking back up at Coryo again. It must not actually be a big deal- it was probably just thanking some more people who have donated to his campaign.

"Firstly," He clears his throat, taking a step to the side as the screen behind him lights up. "For just a moment, see me as your head game maker and forget all about me running for president. Or don't, actually, maybe keep that in mind, but at the back of your mind." He chuckles, the little joke making the audience laugh. He was much more personable now than he once was, you smile a little as you remember helping him write his earlier speeches in a way that would make him more likable. "With the help of my fellow candidate and personal good friend, we are trying something new when it comes to The Hunger Games."

When he speaks, your heart drops and you sit up a little straighter- feeling all eyes on you as you just focus on him. For the first time, he looks down at you and gives you a small smile, the slightest nod in an effort to reassure you that it wasn't as scary as it sounded. You swallow and just keep your smile on as best as you can, ignoring all the stares.

"So, we all love The Games. They're exciting, the stakes are high, and I know every year we all pick our favourite tributes to root for and it's hard to watch them fall but, god, do I know better than anyone how good it feels when they win." Your cheeks burn intensely as Coryo sends a smile and a wink your way, and the screen behind him flashes to a picture of the two of you, taken after your shared university graduation just a couple of years ago. You were both smiling, but he was looking at you as he held you tight around your waist, and you looked into the camera and held up a three-finger salute. People are laughing and awe-ing at the photo of the two of you, and you laugh nervously, looking over at Sejanus with slightly panicked eyes.

You would be absolutely fine with this if he had just run it by you before, and you knew that whether you liked it or not, the Games were an integral part of who you were now, and always would be- but you certainly didn't want your name on anything to do with these new changes they're making. But, he wouldn't be talking about you at all if he knew you would hate it. You had to remind yourself of that.

"So, you all know my beautiful Y/N, of course, we're all big fans of hers here," Coryo says, gesturing to where you were sitting and you let out a nervous laugh, shaking your head at him in a way that would appear teasing to everyone else while he waits for everyone to finish clapping for you. "Don't get embarrassed already, darling, I've got a bit more to say about you so just sit tight, okay? Nothing bad, I promise." He says to you, looking into your eyes even as he stands up on the stage, everyone's laughter echoing in the background.

"So, I have known Y/N and her outstanding mind for years now. The Games are what brought us together when we were both just kids, but you all already know that story so I'll spare you the details. The bottom line is, I am so proud of the woman she has become. She's written two books that will soon become three, she graduated in the top three percent of our class with only a District education to build on, and she is the single most well-spoken, well-mannered, beautiful, and caring woman I have ever met. Truly, she has changed my entire outlook on life." He says, talking more so to the audience than to you, knowing that you're so embarrassed by this. And he would be correct. "It has truly been a privilege to know her, and to love her."

"But that was a long journey for us both, and a seemingly endless uphill battle for her recovery, despite her strength. The Games can be scary, let's be totally honest. It's life or death, and winning will change you, but Y/N came out the other side and wanted to make a difference for her family and that inspired me. And she continues to inspire me every day." Coryo says, pausing to take a sip of his champagne again. "So, all of this is to say, I'd like to thank her for all her support through my education, this campaign, and through the life we're building together. She inspired this idea in me and with the help of my fellow game makers as well as the Plinth family..." You look over at Sejanus as he continues, suddenly realizing he must have known about what was happening. He keeps a small smile on his lips as he watches, refusing to make eye contact with you.

"This," Coryo says, turning to look up at the screen while a picture comes up of a small cul-de-sac of beautiful homes. "Is just the beginning of the Victor's Rehabilitation Initiative."

You tilt your head, a shocked and confused smile on your face as you take in the photo and try to decipher what he's talking about.

"So, recently, Y/N has been more open with everyone about the struggles that came with being crowned a victor in our Games. Yes, they get to walk away with their lives, but what if winning meant something more? What if it meant security for them and their families, so they're not returning to their Districts with no sense of what to do next? That, everyone, is what this program is for. To help the strongest of them find a purpose again, and to encourage the bravest of Panem's children to get back on their feet after such an impressive feat as winning the Games."

You have to very consciously force your jaw to stay shut when you realize what he is saying, clapping along with everyone else while your smile relaxes into something more genuine. You knew that he wanted to abolish the Games altogether, and you knew that no matter who won the election, they wouldn't proceed for much longer. This was the first step in that direction, and you were flooded with emotions. Pride, excitement, relief.

"For ten years, until the beginning of the mentorship program, our victors were cast aside. Never to be heard from again after their win, I, for one, became curious as to what happened to them after the Games as soon as I met Y/N, and I have heard that question from many of you as well since we were all given the pleasure of getting to know her." Coryo's smile is one of pride and excitement, sparing a glance at you as he allows the audience to have their responses. So far, all seemingly positive despite the present undertones of him caring about the people in the Districts. He was a smooth talker, he knew exactly how to command a space and get people to believe what he wanted. And he was using it for good. "I mean, how many other victors have something extraordinary, just like her, that won't be utilized or nurtured? We never knew."

"From now on," He continues, the crowd quieting down. "Our victors will be given homes in what we've decided to call Victor's Villages in each of the Twelve Districts. They'll have ensured security for themselves and their families, and a generous sum of prize money to help them with whatever they need. Whether that's medical attention, both physical and emotional, or, if they so choose, when they reach the appropriate age, they could apply at our university to further their education. Though, between you and I, admittance is not guaranteed." He winks at the end and it's accompanied by laughter, which you try and go along with, but you're too close to tears to even process fully what was going on. This was a huge step in the right direction, even if like he said, acceptance was not guaranteed. "What I mean, is that it will be up to them. They can live their lives to the fullest, just like our gem, Y/N."

He looks at you again, and you can really only see his blurry form through your tears until someone is handing you a handkerchief to dry your eyes while people clap and cheer over the idea.

This was something you couldn't have imagined years ago. This was everything you've wanted since the Games- to make a difference, for people to care. And it was happening right before your eyes. Thanks to him. Thanks to you.

"And with that," Coryo says after a few moments, waiting for the crowd to quiet down after taking in your reaction. "We can move on to my second announcement, which is my formal withdrawal from the presidential campaign."

Gasps fill the room and your smile disappears, a hand coming up to your mouth as you look up at him, shocked and confused with the announcement that blindsided even you.

"Are you happy here?" You ask quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the evening as you walk from your parent's house back to your own in the Victor's Village.

"I couldn't be happier." Coryo replies through a soft sigh, swinging your hand gently as it's clasped between you.

"Are you sure?" You say again, feeling a little uncertain despite weeks of his endless reassurance that this was, in fact, what he wanted.

To him, this scenario was perfect. He could keep his job as head gamemaker, planning to only return to the Capitol for a few months or so every year for the Games. He knew that wouldn't last much longer, though, not with Hilarius Heavensbee in office. Coryo gives it a few years and a few major "accidental" mistakes on his part for the viewership of the annual event to die out and open the door for the president to call them off, just like he had always wanted to.

And every day Coryo would wake up to see you in your happy place, the only place you'd ever felt truly at home. He was more than happy to give it all up for the greatest sake of seeing you smile.

"Of course." He smiles, never growing tired of telling you the same thing over and over again if it meant he could ease your mind.

The moonlight bounces off his in a way that makes you think it could be glowing if you didn't know any better.

"I told you that I would be. Years ago. You remember?"

"Of course I remember."

He lets out a breathy laugh at your reply, shaking his head. "That was a foolish question. I don't think you've ever forgotten a single word anyone has ever spoken to you."

"Sure I have." You say, tilting your head as you look up at him, trying to catch the same moonlight reflect in the blue of his eyes as you walk down the path. "I just don't forget... the important bits."

"I will try my best to take care of you while you're here."

"My honest, best advice? Figure out a way to escape."

"I can't have killed them all for nothing."

"You are not a beast."

"Please, don't walk away again."

"I survived because I had to learn to love you."

"Like in your books?" His voice interrupts the swirling of speech from years past, and you shrug.

"Not exactly... it feels different. Because I can hear it, still." You explain, voice dropping into something more quiet as the remnants of your fear eats away at the back of your mind, the cold night breeze imprinting your skin.

"God, the way your mind works, love." He says, and as you look up at him to be met with an expression of pride that always changes everything. "You amaze me every day."

You stay quiet, cheeks getting hot as you look back down at the path.

"Are you happy?" Coryo asks after a moment, eyes never daring to leave your profile as you walk next to him, hardly more than a silhouette in the dark. But certainly more than a ghost, now.

"I am." You reply, the smile creeping back onto your lips. "Such hours are beautiful to live, but hard to describe..."

He hums softly in response. That was a yes, but also a no in the most you fashion possible. His heart remains heavy in his chest knowing that there is nothing more he can do for you to help you heal besides be present. "Is there anything more I can do?" He asks anyway, hoping that maybe you would come up with something.

You shake your head, giving him a tight-lipped smile laced with reassurance.

"Well, then..." He sighs, rather dramatically. "I did have an idea, you know, something that might make you happy. Even just for this one beautiful hour."

You let out a laugh, squeezing his hand a bit. "If that was you asking me if we could-"

"I would like to marry you." He says, for the first time ever, not feeling guilty about interrupting you.

You stop in your tracks, and he stops with you instantly as if he were waiting for it, his hold on your hand not faltering for a second.

"I... you-"

"Darling," He starts, stepping in front of you now, blocking out the moon but hardly putting a dent in the presence of the stars over his shoulders, their soft light reflecting off his blonde curls. "I do love nothing in the world so well as you."

Your shock and confusion begins to wear off as he speaks the familiar words, and you laugh softly. "In your own words, Coryo."

He tilts his head at you, clearly not having expected that kind of response. He expected a lot of things. He planned for everything that could go wrong, he prepared for rejection, for tears, panic, even, but he did not expect that. "I, uh..." He chuckles nervously, giving his head a quick shake to get himself back on track.

He had read that play just for you. Just for this- because he knew how much you loved it, and he remembered the joy it brought you. The smile on your face when you told him about it that day at the lake had never left his mind.

"If you ask me in your own words, I shall say yes." You assure him, hands gripping tighter onto his despite your surprisingly calm demeanor.

"I thought you would like that... You know, knowing you..."

He's quick to defend himself, and your eyes almost sparkle as you look up into his own. "We should have learned by now that our story is our own, yes?" You ask. "We are not Beatrice and Benedick, or Laurie and Amy, or even Romeo and Juliet, just like I used to think we were supposed to be when my days were numbered. I thought I wanted one of those stories to be mine at least once before I died, but I was wrong." You say, taking in the embarrassed flush of his cheeks even in the dim lighting. "You are you, and I am me. No matter what you say I will be happy to marry you, so long as you ask me yourself, and not as someone else."

"Alright then." He gives you a curt nod, a smile on his face as he lowers himself in front of you, careless of the dirt that would no doubt cake into the knee of his pants. "You're everything to me, Y/N/N. My world... my heart, my soul. I didn't know what love was until I met you. I've spent the entirety of my adult life learning to love you, and I never intend to stop. Not even for a moment, so please, let me marry you, love."

"A Coryo indeed." You say softly, recalling the first day you had met him- when you only knew him as Coriolanus, and how far you both had come since then. The growing smile on your lips twitches and you nod, holding his hand a little tighter and attempting to pull Coryo back to his feet. "Of course I will. Nothing would make me happier."

He stands again and very quickly his arms are around you, holding you just as tight as they always had.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @cascadingbliss

if you want to join the taglist for future fics (requiem, michigan cherry, etc.) as well as the bonus content for this fic, follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on post notifs! all i do over there is reblog my own writing, so it's effectively a taglist :)

thanks again for being here.

xx, raye

[susandsnell]

🌻

I almost missed this one!!

I'm a big fan of all kinds of gothic romances, absolutely morally bankrupt characters (and the fucked up ways they might fall in love or lust or obsession or something in between), villains and foes and psychosexual nightmares, all that good stuff. I do not believe fiction needs to be moral or didactic in this respect. I say this as a preface to what I have to say next because I think it's a genuinely unpopular opinion:

This is an Edward Rochester hate zone.

I cannot abide this man. I hated him when I was thirteen, and I hate him at twenty-five. (I believe I once wrote "he should have gotten crispy in that fire" in some free reading assignment or other.) His Byronicisms all fall just in the wrong way for me, in large part because they are gross in a way that feels painfully real that isn't fun to read about, and they aren't tempered by any traits to recommend him. I find him not at all interesting and entirely unsympathetic. The only time I ever liked him was when he was doing the most with the drag act, but even then that was pretty loaded.

This all makes him a realistic jerk so he is perhaps well-constructed and well-written, but I for the life of me have never gotten the appeal of this dickwad. He's so mired in his own privilege and unearned self-pity that I genuinely find him to be insufferable. This is a bit bizarre to me as I have adored characters who have done objectively far worse and behaved far more cruelly and violently than he ever did, but again, as asserted earlier - I can get into an awful person being awful if they're doing so in a way that's interesting to witness, and/or if this is balanced out by humanizing elements. Heathcliff abuses women and children and kills innocent animals and he's still intensely sympathetic. Sweeney Todd did all of that and I feel for his plight and love his wry sense of humour and capacity for deep love. The Vampire Chronicles' entire thesis is that even the truly monstrous among us are made human by their ability to connect to art and to one another. To clarify, I know that a character need not have suffered/had a tragic backstory to be sympathetic or interesting just as people we know don't require xyz to be deserving of compassion (for instance I enjoy Dracula being The Worst because he's interesting, he's irredeemable with some zazz), but in terms of what he feels and how he acts, I cannot find any avenue for this connection to come in. I know that it's not uncommon as a modern reader to feel horror for Bertha Mason rather than at her (and it's not '''purity culture"/Puriteens/whatever paper skinned English majors are coming up with now to dismiss any critical discussion of books they like to feel this way!), and this plays a large part in my reading, but he's also cruel and dehumanizing to Jane in a way that feels very much like a Victorian era equivalent of negging/overpraise, which strikes exactly the wrong nerve in me compared to other destructive romances I've liked. That's not to say that one is more or less realistic than another, and comes down to personal bias, but I feel what I feel, and this is a free opinion sunflower emoji ask lolol.

I understand Jane Eyre and like most of it. I understand what a huge step it was as a protofeminist work, the reversing of the power balance by having him be humbled and reliant on her by the end, the emphasis on Jane's freewill and self-worth in the face of her horrific struggles and turmoil.

I cannot grasp wanting to be around this man for more than five minutes. Truly no judgment to those who get something out of this guy, but I just Don't See It.

[bahs-lovely-bakery]

Requesting again because we have fragment and I wanna give them somethin to latch onto before we get the fifteenth William Afton /silly

But ummmm can we get a Wally from welcome home,, he just seems like he’d be more helpful <- didn’t really know what to request and has now rambled (IM A YAPPER!!!!) -🔧📼

Also if you could can you make a list of sources you’re familiar with? So that I’ll know what I should try to request and stuff :3c I like to make sure I’m doing things people know !!

Okay so Imma just answer this then link the pack cause this is a good thingy sniwjahdhd anyways I personally won’t do a source list because I’m down to do ANYTHING, especially if it’s problematic!!! Like, if someone wants something from a piece of media I dont know I’ll still try and do it. Ofc I’m allowed to deny requests, I’m somewhat human lmao, but I just like a challenge!! But for the sake of others (and also because I wanna yap about my special interests) here is a little list!!! If what you want isn’t on here, don’t be afraid to ask anyways!

My little pony, Harry Potter (All three eras (Tom’s, James’, And Harry’s)),

DSMP (my lovee!!), Irl streamers (I know a lot soooo blehhh),

The Icing Those Hurts Universe FanFic (IF ANYONE ASKS FOR THIS MY LIFE WILL BE YOURS IM NOT JOKING—), Creepypasta, only season one of AOT,

A little bit of MHA (only season one),

Percy Jackson (Up to book three, will change over time!!),

Warrior Cats (Only to about book five / started book five, not that good at this one tbh—),

Welcome Home,

MARBLE HORNETS!!! , The Wilbur Soot ARG,

AND A SHIT TON MOREEE!!!!

AND ALSO I FUCKING LOVEEEEE WELCOME HOME1!!1!1!1 I hyper fixated on it for a LONGGG time after it came out and the amount of fanary I made for it is INSANNEEE!!! Sorry for the ramble, I’m also a yapper tee hee :hand-over-mouth-blushing-emoji:

LINK ONCE I FINISH IT WILL BE HERE BTW!!!!

[meirimerens]

Hi Meiri! I hope you're doing well!

I was curious about how you determined how Farkhad should speak in your fic? I love TA&tAT and was mesmerized by the way you characterized Farkhad.

HIIIII BESTIE I COULD GO ON FOR #HOURS SO HOLD ME BACK. HOLD ME BACK. ok. i'm so calm about this. ok. so excited you'd ask this is like a dram come true.

first of all for anyone who's wondering what this is about: [here is a link to TA&AT]. for the uninitiated. 😏 smirking emoji devil emoji.

OK!!!! so there are a few things, in no order of importance, just as it pops out the dome:

i think farkhad is eloquent. that's a thing he is. he is eloquent, he is well-spoken, in my mind's eye he has something of dandyism without it being tied to western europe class relations (as dandyism was). in me mind's eye he is eloquent, poised, composed, and it is this very eloquence and poise that destabilizes people. some might even think he uses it on purpose (and maybe he is, and maybe he's not. that's the point of the text, isn't it?) it fits into point 2:

he also has something of theatricality; this is because, as the game presents us, he only exists 1) as a corpse in the ground, which we never see, so we cannot check that he is truly there and 2) as a guiltghost in the twins' mind: he is kept alive through being thought about, and his (non-existence) permeates the game as it is experienced through text, in the same way a play is both experienced through text and by being acted. his existence being textual as in, relating to/being related through the text is why i wanted him to have a textual Presence, and to speak in Ways and Manners.

when drawing farkhad, i have purposefully modeled him after early/mid-Qajar era portraiture. by the elusive time Patho takes place in, this specific type of portraiture was around a century old(/outdated?). from this ambiguousness of age he bears on his very face, i took as a base for #knowing that, to me, he should talk in archaic ways, sometimes. (hence all the -est). this archaism, as well [to me] also links back to theatricality: his verbs, sometimes, but not always, follow the Early Modern English conjugation pattern (or at least I've Fucking Tried Brother, i already don't speak english as a mother tongue i'm not navigating EME that well), which many people know from Shakespeare (i refuse to say he is Shakespearean, because i do not know enough about shakespeare to bring that forth. he's closer to one voice in a greek tragedy chorus, dissonant, always in your ear).

related to point 2), to him having this ambiguous existence, this textuality: he is everywhere and nowhere at once. we do not see him in-game, we might see a distorted image that looks like his corpse-face, but we might not know. he is kept alive by andrey and peter's guilt(s): he is a passe-muraille before anything else (wall-through-goer). he permeates text and the town by existing, but not existing at once. by being at the center of everything (the Stillwater is his œuvre. the Cathedral is his œuvre) and yet having disappeared: having been made to disappear. he permeates text because he permeates minds; therefore, i had to write him permeating text. this is where "(How do you make words shiver like cello c[h]ords?)" comes in. This is how he can pronounce parentheses and the letters in them: because he is read, and his existence is text. He thrives in text, because he is kept alive through it, therefore i had to make the text feel alive. i already tried a lil with ATA, this time i pushed it. more parentheses. editor's notes walking into the conversation. AND IT WAS SO FUN!!!

at the end of #it all... as a tldr maybe. i wrote him archaic because he is 30 and 300 all at once. i wrote him making the text move, speaking parentheses and conjuring the editor because he is alive through text. in all and with all..... i wanted to write him mesmerizing because he mesmerizes through speech, which in this context is text, and i am overjoyed to learned i managed. THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY... PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!