#he seemed to be so smart as a kid but then his ego over being right all the time cause he got gaslit like crazy took hold

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

This is me attempting to express how fucking frustrating it is talking to a certain person in a slightly less mean way:

He uses so little of his god given critical thinking skills when he says certain things that my brain stops working because I can’t understand how the fuck he got to that conclusion and then I feel like the dumb one because can’t think of what to even say

Like it’s so impressive that I am left speechless

[itneverendshere]

school spirit and all! - soccer!frat!rafe cameron blurb (+18)

warnings: smart!reader (doesn't take shit) x bimbo!rafe <3; pope being an absolute menace; mentions of sex but no actual p in v okay; this shit is football and y'all can argue with a wall <3 IT PAINS ME TO WRITE SOCCER Y'ALL BETTER APPRECIATE IT !!!

ps: this is just for fun cause someone asked me to post it (it was just a draft😬)

you’ve never been one for academic sports spirit.

what’s the point? okay, your school has incredible athletes, that’s good, but why the fuck would you kiss and praise the ground they walk on? you’re a fantastic student and no one gives a shit. why do they get all the glory while brainiacs get zilch?

the double standards piss you off. somehow academics always take the backseat to sports. maybe that explained your dislike towards jocks like rafe cameron.

up until sophomore year, you’d only heard about him, saw him occasionally around school. it was understandable why people talked about him so often. he looked like he’d just been ripped off a page of an abercrombie and fitch catalog, and apparently – you’d never attended a game to check – he was the best player on the team, playing forward. but, unlike many, you didn’t form an opinion about him until you met him.

the verdict? total pain in your fucking ass.

ever since you two were paired in a class project together, an annual class at that, he suddenly took an interest in you, like you were some sort of exotic animal he’d never encountered in his life, only because you wouldn’t flirt with him.

outrageous, never done before.

for the first four months, it was just him laying on the cheesy pickup lines and you rolling your eyes so hard you thought they'd pop out of your head. eventually, rafe dialed it down and you were able to be civil, perhaps friends. if you could call it that.

wich is why, as his friend, you’re starting to lose your fucking patience. the season was not going well for his team. at all. there’s little to no chance they’re going to be able to win the championship.

not that you care, but apparently the whole school does. everyone seems to be on the verge of a meltdown.

“i swear to god if they lose to standford next week–“

“pope, will you kindly shut the fuck up? it’s just soccer.”

“just soccer?”

you let out an exasperated sigh, glancing over at pope who looks at you like you’ve just shot someone, “can we study? peacefully?”

"it’s not just soccer! it's about school spirit, camaraderie, y’know?"

you raise an eyebrow, unimpressed. "camaraderie? please. more like a bunch of testosterone-fueled egos chasing after a ball," you retort, disdain evident in your tone.

“you don't know what you're talking about. and i'm being dead serious, cameron’s been on edge lately. never seen him like this."

you lean back in your chair, crossing your arms. "yeah, well, losing does that to people. don't why you're complaining soooo much" you sigh, "i’m the one who has to put up with all the brooding and pouting.”

pope’s quiet. too quiet. you can picture the gears turning in his brain as he blankly stares at you. nothing good ever comes out of that.

“what?” you press, wondering if you have to break the school spirit out of him.

“you should fuck him. after or before, don't care. but you should."

you recoil, nearly tumbling out of your chair at pope's suggestion.

your eyes widen in disbelief, your mind struggling to process what he just said. for a moment, the room spins around you, and you feel like you’ve been thrust into some surreal alternate universe.

“what?! pope?" you finally manage to sputter, acting like you're about to go into cardiac arrest, "the fuck's wrong with you?"

“don’t look at me like that,” he merely shrugs, “that man is depressed. he needs to get laid if he’s going to win something.“

you hardly think a guy like rafe is not getting laid every other day, but that’s irrelevant. your jaw drops, stunned by his audacity. "are you kidding me? you don’t even like him!”

“but i like winning!” he whines, all but pushing his books aside to place in his elbows on the table, “and he’s so obsessed with you it hurts watching. he’s like one of those little crusty white dogs always running after you.”

you shake your head in disbelief, "he does it to be funny, okay? he’s not actually interested.. t's just a joke”

your best friend only laughs, a raucous, almost maniacal sound that echoes through the room. he clutches his stomach, "just joking?" pope gasps out, his laughter still bubbling to the surface. "oh man. you're hilarious, honestly, wow."

you stare at him, lips set in a straight line, feeling like you missed the entire joke. "what's so funny?"

pope wipes away a fake tear, trying to compose himself. "he almost ripped a new one to jj after he pulled that stunt last semester.”

your eyebrows knit together in skepticism. “and? i still don’t follow.”

rafe and jj couldn’t stand each other. both are incredible athletes and everyone always gushes about how great they are together on the field. outside, however? not so much. they don't mix. ever.

“and?! why do you think jj randomly talked about you in the locker room?”

“because he’s a horny creep and got a kink for fist fights with undressed men?”

you love jj. really, you do. but sometimes he’d win a lot more if he just kept his mouth shut or thought before speaking. you've lost count of how many times that boy has been suspended.

pope leans in, his tone low and conspiratorial, “cameron practically threatened to rearrange jj's face if he ever mentioned you again.”

you narrow your eyes, “nop. you’re making that up.”

pope shakes his head, a grin playing on his lips. "nah, i'm dead serious.”

your mind races, trying to piece it all together. while your brain always clicks instantly in class, feelings...emotions are a little more complicated to grasp sometimes.

"wait, so you're saying he actually cares about me?"

he nods, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "yep.”

“seriously?”

pope chuckles, leaning back in his chair. "head over heels. you’re our school’s only hope.”

your brain's on overdrive trying to process pope's bombshell revelation. rafe cameron, the big-shot jock, actually giving a fuck about you? it's like some twisted plot line from a teen drama. you didn’t see this one coming. but then again, you hardly pay attention to anything outside academics.

“so what? ’m supposed to fuck the mediocrity out of him?”

he grins, clapping you on the shoulder, “there’s that school spirit!”

you slap his hand away, “oh fuck off. ‘m being serious.”

he’s still grinning like he just cracked the code to life. "come on, hear me out. it's like a strategic move, y’ know? boost his morale, boost the team's performance. win-win."

you roll your eyes, not buying into his scheme. "yeah, because my sex habilities are definitely the key to winning soccer games."

he shrugs, undeterred. "it's not like you'd be doing it for him. it's all about the greater good."

you scoff, rearranging your notes for the millionth time, "this isn't some feel-good sports movie."

it’s not like you never thought about rafe. sure, he's a yapping idiot around you most of the time, but every time you need help or an extra hand, he’s always the first one to offer. that has to count for something, right?

“the ball’s in your court.”

yeah it is.

truth to be told, you’ve been sick and tired of rafe acting like a loser over soccer. what was the point in whining about it if he wasn’t going to try and do better? god, you'd never seen him like this before and it's been irking you to beyond. even more now that pope mentioned it again.

at this point, you just want to march up to him, shake him and make it come to his senses. you can’t even remember that last time he tried to hit on you. that’s how bad it is! the memory is buried under the weight of his brooding.

so maybe….maybe pope's onto something, y'know? maybe there's more to it than just you and rafe. and yeah, okay, you're not exactly thrilled about the idea of hopping into bed with him, but only because you’d hate the attention that comes along with his name.

but...a part of you is weirdly intrigued. not because you're dying to be his next conquest, but because you're just done with watching him drown in his own misery. maybe this could be the wake-up call he needs. a swift kick in the ass to snap him out of his funk.

you wouldn’t be doing out of selfish reasons! school spirit and all. you’d be doing everyone a favor. and you wouldn't need to blame it on yourself if things went downhill.

you had pope for that.

which is why you’re standing in front of rafe's room in his frat.

a jock and a frat boy? charming. you’ve certainly hit the jackass lottery. but you’ve been here before. he always saved the day when the library was packed or when your roommate was too busy fucking her boyfriend in your dorm room. this was weirdly your safe place to work.

taking a deep breath, you rap your knuckles against the door, trying to ignore the butterflies doing somersaults in your stomach. it's not about you! get a grip.

the door swings open, and there's the fucker, all brooding and rugged, like he just walked off the set of a sports movie. you roll your eyes at the cliché, but there's something weird about the way he looks at you. or maybe the tight wife-beater is doing a number on you.

you still notice the bags underneath his swollen eyes.

there's a flicker of surprise in him, like he wasn't expecting to see you, out of everyone in this school, standing there and you can't blame him; after all, you're not exactly a regular visitor to the frat house, only when your academic needs force you to.

“hey?”

“you look like shit, cameron.”

rafe's eyebrows raise in surprise at your blunt remark, “uh, what?”

you roll your eyes resisting the urge to scoff. "can i come in or are you going to stand there looking like an idiot all day?”

rafe chuckles, stepping aside to let you into his room, “come on in.”

you step inside, taking in the cluttered room with a mixture of amusement and mild disgust. it was never this bad before, you know rafe’s a clean freak and this? this is not him. but it is exactly how you imagined a frat boy's room would look like—dirty.

there’s laundry strewn across the floor, empty beer cans littering the desk, and a distinct musky smell lingering in the air. you shake your head in disbelief, shooting rafe a disapproving look.

"what are you? a divorced forty-five-year-old man?”

rafe laughs at your comment, though there's a hint of embarrassment in his expression as he scratches the back of his neck. "yeah, i know. sorry about that."

he’s doing worse than what you realized and it tugs a little at your heartstrings.

you raise an eyebrow, unconvinced by his apology. "sorry doesn't cut it, cameron. you should be ashamed of yourself.”

"okay, fair point. i'll clean up, promise."

“not just your stupid room. i mean your whole attitude. you've been moping around like a loser!”

rafe's expression shifts, defensiveness crossing his features. "hey, ‘m not—"

"don't even try to deny it," you interrupt, not backing down. "everyone’s noticed. you’re pissing me off.”

you don’t know why you’re suddenly so tempted to give him the scolding of a lifetime, but there’s just something about seeing someone with so much potential and drive wasting it all away without a fight. it’s not like him.

and by the kicked-puppy look on his face, you can tell he's not used to being called out so openly. but you're dead set on breaking through to him, no matter how awkward it gets.

“see! you’re just staring at me like—like, a fucking idiot!”, you fire off, frustration lacing your tone. the irony of the situation isn't lost on you. “will you speak for gods sake? for more than five seconds? i spent months trying to get you to shut up and now you do?”

rafe's stunned expression makes you second guess your approach for a moment, but you push the feeling aside, knowing you can't afford to let sympathy cloud your purpose here.

“why are you mad at me?”

you can't believe he's still clueless after all this time.

"why am i mad at you?" you repeat incredulously, feeling the irritation rising your my chest. "seriously, rafe? have you even looked in the mirror lately?"

he blinks at you, his confusion evident, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"you've been moping around like the world's about to end.”

rafe's brows furrow even further, and for a moment, you wonder if he's playing dumb or if he genuinely has no idea what you’re talking about. "i don't—uh, i don't understand," he finally stammers out, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

that’s it.

you’re gonna pull the feelings card and hope it doesn’t backfire.

“do you like me?” you blurt out, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.

rafe snorts as he lifts his finger to scratch his face, “course i do. pretty obvious.”

for a second you get a glimpse of the real rafe and it soothes you inside.

“and you want to fuck me?”

you’ve never seen him look so gobsmacked in his life, you’d laugh in his face if it wasn’t such a serious matter.

“what?” he stammers, his cheeks flushing slightly. you can’t believe the rafe cameron is blushing. over you.

you let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your hair. "do you want to fuck me? do i need to spell it out for you?”

he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out, and you can't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction at finally catching him off guard, “’m sorry? is this—are you…is this for punk’d?”

"punk'd? seriously, rafe?" you snap, incredulous that he would think this is some sort of prank, “it’s 2024.”

rafe's cheeks flush an even deeper shade of red, and he stammers again "no, i mean— i just...didn't expect you to— uhh”

“yes or no.”

rafe blinks at you before breathing out, “yes.”

“okay. so win your next match and you will.”

he looks at you like you’ve grown a second head, exhaling through his nose, trying to keep his agitation to a minimum. “what?”

“i’m sick and tired of this version of you. i need you to win, and if this” you gesture to the both of you with your hand, “is your motivation, then we’re doing it.”

"y’serious?" he takes a step closer, his demeanor suddenly more serious, “me and you?”

you nod firmly, crossing your arms over your chest as you tilt your head up to look at his features, “dead serious. and it’s not just you and me. it’s for the team, and for the school spirit or whatever nonsense pope keeps going on about."

rafe lets out a small chuckle, a hint of his usual cocky confident demeanor returning. "is that so? can't say no to that kind of motivation."

“i figured.”

he reaches out a hand, his fingers lightly grazing the strands of your hair, eyes fixed on your lips. "are there any rules?”

you swallow hard, feeling your heart race at his touch. “no, just win.”

rafe's lips curl into a playful smirk— the money-making smirk that makes you want to punch him and kiss him, not necessarily in that order — as he leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear.

"never would've guessed you'd be the one to offer yourself as my motivation, though," he murmurs, his voice sending a shiver down your spine, "i'm surprised."

you try to maintain your composure, but his proximity is making it increasingly difficult to think straight. "just doing what needs to be done," you manage to stammer out, trying to sound perfectly unaffected by his words.

rafe chuckles softly, his hand still lingering in your hair as he leans back slightly to look at you. "my pretty prize, huh?" he says, his tone teasing as he brushes a strand of hair away from your face.

you feel a flush spread across your features at his boldness. you blame him entirely for this side of you. without thinking, you reach up to brush your fingers against his cheek, tips pressings against his skin lightly.

“just win the fucking match, cameron."

rafe's nasty smirk widens into a heart-stopping, soul-gripping grin as he leans in closer, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours.

"consider it done."

[cobrakaisb]

what was i made for?

summary: everybody hates you, but luke could never see you that way; luke hates himself, but he’s always going to be the center of your galaxy.

word count: 2.3k

featuring: angst, reader and luke share a vape (sue me🙈), but also friend dynamics, and official godly parent reveal 🙌, reader and luke are basically together (without the labels).  

series masterlist ||| previous ||| next 

“i hate it here,” you announce, taking a seat at the hermes table for breakfast. 

chris, luke, and katrina all exchange glances. you can sense their nerves from a mile away, and their unease only seems to heighten when you slam your plate and goblet on the table. chris opens his mouth, ready to comment on your behavior, but he decides not to when you throw a nasty glare his way. 

“wow, you’re hera’s daughter,” katrina teases, nudging your shin with her own from across the table. 

“no shit, really?” you reply, stabbing a lone strawberry on your plate.

“no seriously, your glare is exactly like hers. i can see her staring at me in disapproval and everything,” katrina continues with a wide smile on her face.

you flash a tight-lipped smile in response, but don’t take the bait that’s dangling in front of you. over the past few months, you’ve established quite the reputation at camp half-blood. aside from being something akin to a forbidden child -- because it was always assumed that hera would never have children -- your nasty temper, smart mouth, and enormous ego have led to a number of fights. all of them were petty, with campers making claims about you that were so far into leftfield you were surprised they even caught on. 

“what happened this time?” luke asks, his shoulder brushing against yours when he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. 

“that stupid fucking lava wall,” you grumble, taking a bite of your pancakes. 

“okay…” katrina prompts, waving her hand in a continue motion. 

you swallow your food before answering, “i love the lava wall, it’s such a good workout, but i hate that my time slot is the same as the ares kids.” 

“nothing new, but what’d they do now?” katrina asks. 

“annoy me,” you answer.

luke says your name in the same tone he uses when travis and connor get caught pulling some master prank. you can hear the disappointment in his tone, and that elicits an eye roll from you. he doesn’t even know the full story, and he’s already picking a side other than yours, typical. 

“sorry, that we can’t all be the golden child like you,” you sneer, getting up from the table to throw the rest of your food in the burning fire pit.

everybody knows you prayed to your mother when the flames flash a deep purple before flickering back to their normal orange. 

“i’ll talk to her,” katrina says, standing up from her seat. 

luke lifts up his hand, shakes his head no, and replies, “i got it.” 

he follows you out of the dining pavilion and into the woods. you know he’s there because you can hear the cracks of twigs and rustling of bushes as he matches your step. only two people are crazy enough to follow you, but only one of them knows when to walk in silence.

“go back to camp luke,” you demand, pushing a branch out of the way. 

“not until you tell me what the fuck happened at the lava wall,” he answers, dodging the branch before it makes contact with his nose. 

you stop short, looking at long island sound through a small gap in the trees. luke knows the spot; you two come here frequently. he waits for a moment, admiring your straight back. even when you’re feeling your worst, you still muster up the courage to walk with the confidence of a princess. 

“the same old shit. you know the story,” you mumble, eyes squinting from the glare of the sun. 

luke sighs. he doesn’t understand why you put up this mask with him. why do you feel the need to continue being the strong, confident, arrogant, and put-together, daughter of hera when it’s just the two of you? he steps closer to you, standing directly behind you so his arms can wrap around your waist. you lean back into his chest, shoulders sagging in defeat. 

“i never used to care what people thought of me, now it’s all i can think about. this was supposed to be different, luke,” you whisper. 

luke doesn’t say anything in return. he drops his forehead against the back of your head, and squeezes your hips just a bit tighter. camp was supposed to be different. you were meant to feel wanted and seen; he was meant to become a hero with ultimate glory. from the looks of it, neither of you are anywhere close to getting what you deserve. 

—

some days were harder than others, luke knew this. yet, it didn’t make it any easier when one of those hard days came around. each and every time he feels utterly dead to the world, wanting nothing more than to rot away in the comfort of his bottom bunk in the hermes cabin. being head counselor doesn’t afford that luxury. so, he takes a deep breath, musters up every ounce of courage his body could possibly possess, and walks out the door. 

usually, the training arena is quiet in the mornings. nobody, not even the most dedicated warriors, is willing to get up earlier than they need to. sleep is a hot commodity at camp half-blood. and so is privacy. so, luke relishes in the quiet mornings where he’s surrounded by the soft tweets of birds, the slash of his sword, and his heavy breathing. he trains and trains, searching for a way to be good enough again. he used to pray, but after years of going unheard and unanswered, he gave up on connecting with his father.

he thinks of his mother, alone in their house in suburban connecticut. she never doubted hermes, even when he left them for worse; her faith kept her loyal. luke wishes that he had her loyalty, but he doesn’t. instead, all he feels is anger and resentment towards his father. he swings his sword again, cutting through the outer layer of the dummy, and watches as the stuffing falls gracefully to the ground.  

“that’s a lot of slashes,” you comment, and your voice draws him out of his own head.

he ignores you, continuing on with his practice session. 

“you know you can take a break, right?” you ask, coming to stand behind him. 

luke’s arm falls to his side, his sword resting against his thigh. his head falls forehead, and he takes in a deep breath, letting the clean air fill his lungs. your hand sneaks between the strap of his bronze breastplate and his bright orange t-shirt. he takes another breath, and your chin digs into his shoulder before you drop a kiss on the exposed skin by the collar of his shirt. 

you don’t say anything, and luke appreciates that about you. ever since your arrival at camp, he’s tried to pinpoint what exactly draws him to you. every time he comes up empty handed, but at this moment he knows it’s your willingness to just let him be. you never force him to be happy or content with the gods’ and their behavior. you embrace the darkness slowly rising inside of him, even when he tries to suppress it. 

“i just want to be good enough,” luke whispers, finally allowing himself to be vulnerable. 

your arms tighten around him, and you reply, “you are good enough.” 

“not for him,” he mumbles. 

“he’s not good enough for you,” you say assertively. 

luke doesn’t comment on your words. the conviction in your voice is enough to inform him that there’s no changing your mind. he wishes he believed you, but he doesn’t. 

“you’re not the one who failed their quest,” luke mumbles. 

you openly scoff at his words, letting go of him. he waits patiently for your next move and stumbles when you pull him towards your face by the strap of his armor. your eyes met, and luke swear he’s never seen such fury brewing in them.

“don’t ever use that as a determinant of your worth. that quest was impossible luke, and he knew that,” you seethe. 

luke blinks, letting your words sink in. he can’t believe them; he doesn’t believe them. 

“it was my chance, my one chance to show him that i’m worthy,” luke whispers, leaning his forehead against yours. 

you let out a shaky breath and luke can feel the anger and frustration radiating off you in waves. he knows that if he wasn’t holding you in his arms, olympus would fall. he blinks, and you’re standing there, in the middle of crumbled temples and the debris of ancient ruins with the fiercest look in your eyes. you’re hera’s daughter, and you’re loyal to a fault, he thinks.

“i just don’t know how much longer i can do this,” he confesses, kissing your earlobe. 

“me too,” you answer, squeezing him tighter. 

—

the two of you are sitting on the dock, feet dangling over the edge as your toes barely graze the surface of the water. you always meet here after all the campers in the hermes cabin settled into bed. when he was able to sneak out and away from their curious eyes.

“i hate it here,” you whisper, leaning further back into luke’s chest.

“you don’t hate it here,” he mumbles, fumbling around in the pocket of his cargo pants. 

“i do,” you answer with certainty. “everybody here hates me. except maybe you and katrina,” you continue. 

luke doesn’t accept or deny your statement. instead, he just hands you the orange stick. you scoff at him, but take the vape from his hands anyways. one thing about luke, he feeds your addictions; every single one of them. instead of thanking him, like you normally would, you bring the vape to your mouth, inhaling deeply. you wait a second, letting the toxins fill your lungs, and then release the smoke in one puff. there’s nothing sexy or hot about the action, but luke squeezes your side, pulling you a bit closer. 

“i can’t believe my plug is my boyfriend,” you joke, but there’s no happiness in your tone. 

luke pokes your side. you switch the vape to your left hand, holding it out to him. you wait patiently for him to take it, but he doesn’t. that confuses you. you turn to face him, forehead bumping against his chin. it hurts, but you just grit your teeth instead of saying anything. luke grimaces, leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead. 

“there are other people here who like you,” luke says.

“name them,” you demand, taking another hit. 

luke takes the item from you, uses it, and then answers, “chris.” 

“is your friend not mine,” you reply. 

luke rolls his eyes. “connor and travis,” he continues. 

“enjoy torturing me, not my company. besides, they’re like ten,” you say. 

“okay then, what about clarisse?” luke asks.

now it’s your turn to roll your eyes, “clarisse tolerates me.” 

“that’s more than i can say,” luke answers, and you snort at his response. 

luke smiles softly at you, and you feel your cheeks heat up. you hate when he does that. when he looks at you like you’re the only person he could possibly dream about. there are days where there's such deep admiration for you in his eyes, you wonder if he leaves burnt offerings in your name instead of the gods.

you turn his face in the opposite direction and whisper, “don’t do that.” 

“do what?” he asks nonchalantly.  

“you know what,” you answer, shooting him a pointed look. 

luke grins. it’s proud and cocky, telling you that he knows exactly what he’s doing. his brown eyes crinkle at the corners, and his scar bunches up with the upturn of his lips. you think he looks the prettiest in this moment; in the dark of the night, with messy curls, grimy skin, and a vibrant smile. you turn again, so that your legs are draped across his lap, and wrap your left arm around the back of his neck. luke’s left hand, the one previously resting against your side, lands on your right thigh, and he squeezes the flesh there as he kisses your temple. 

“do you think we moved too fast?” you ask, taking the vape from his right hand. 

luke waits, expecting you to take a hit, but you just look at him with eager eyes.

“i think we’re doing everything right,” he explains. 

his words hold a deeper meaning that you refuse to acknowledge at the moment. you know what’s going on, but you don’t want to think about it. what would mother say?, you wonder. you lean your head against luke’s shoulder, nose brushing against the crook of his neck, and close your eyes.

“do you think icarus knew he was falling to his death?” luke asks, breaking the silence.

it takes you a moment, but you respond, “maybe. i’m not sure.”

“i mean he was flying the whole time, and then suddenly, he’s plummeting into the mediterranean,” luke continues, taking the vape from your hand.  

“maybe he wanted to die,” you reply, tilting your head to meet his brown eyes. 

a confused expression overcomes luke’s face, propelling you to continue on: “he must have known that the sun would melt the wax, and then his wings would break. i think icarus meant to die, trying to send a message to daedalus or even maybe the gods.”

luke ponders your words for a minute. the gears in his head turning as he contemplates the truth behind your theory. is that what we’re doing?, he wonders. the brewing plans between the two of you linger over his head like a dark cloud, but he can’t bring himself to regret anything.

“so icarus had a greater purpose…like us,” luke observes, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“exactly,” you answer, leaning into his side. 

luke hands the vape back to you, and you pocket it for good this time. he exhales deeply, engulfing you in a cloud of mango-scented smoke. it burns your lungs, but at least you feel something, which is more than you can say as of lately. 

“i just want to be happy,” luke announces. 

“happy and free,” you decide, kissing his cheek delicately.

taglist: @percabethlvr @iwantahockeyhimbo @hottiewifeyyyy @loveryoushouldcomeoverr @used2beee @harrysnovia @cami-is-reading @mxtokko @cxcillia @obxstiles @maraschinocherry3

[ominous-horse-noises]

im ab to be annoying ab dimension20 fhjy but im genuinely loving the character arcs for the bad kids this season?

kristen going from self-annihilatingly stupid to trying to build a genuine bridge with the man who not only wielded the religion that traumatised her (bobby dawn), but also was trying to ruin her life, just bc she thought a grieving father ought to be comforted in some way? her genuine distress at being unable to revivify buddy even though the two had only had negative interactions, or her biting her tongue in front of her parents so she could better look after her little siblings? grappling with the fact that she still, on some level, expected practising religion to be easy and convenient for her as a holdover from an entire childhood spent being a Chosen One, and finally putting her nose to the grindstone and committing to working her ass off for a deity that couldn't even benefit her for a hot minute? making an effort to be cordial with tracker's new gf and letting go of that codependency? the kristen applebees from ep20 would NOT do all the same stupid shit as ep1 and i love that.

fabian being humbled by the narrative again and again has been an absolute treat for his character. the whole ivy/mazey situation was great: freshman/sophomore year fabian would've gone for ivy no sweat, i mean her character seemed pretty similar to pre-redemption aelwyn and he had a huge crush on her then. but this time, when he realised he'd hurt a genuinely great person, and intentionally swallowed his pride to make it up to mazey, even though it required him being 'uncool' with the whole twister thing. his general arc of learning that earnestness and humility doesn't make him less of a man felt like a natural extension of fabian defining his own version of masculinity- sure, a 'maximum legend', but also someone deeply involved in the arts, and someone who is less afraid of saying sorry and being vulnerable in front of someone he likes

fig. fig fig fig. what a woman. its been absolutely fascinating watching build her sense of identity over these three seasons. at her core, fig is a character that loves so deeply. in freshman, she was terrified of the depth of her own devotion, so she tried to distance herself emotionally from everyone. in sophomore, she built herself around that love for other people. in junior year, fig's arc has been learning she can do both: that she's defined by her love for others, but not solely by it. ik emily wanted to retire the character before this season but i think fig's paladin arc was the best capstone to her journey possible.

gorgug's arc has been about establishing clear boundaries for himself and i love it. im aware there's been some Discourse ab the mango soda scene but to me that was pretty easily chalked up to teenage insecurity. a big part of gorgug's arc was trying to believe in himself when everyone around him told him he was too dumb to follow his passion- imagine struggling in an area that you have no natural aptitude for, and someone comes along and also trounces you in the one area you thought you were the best in. i'd be petty and reactive too (gorgug follows up calling her a freak with the fact that she beat the shit out of him, so its clearly him just still smarting from a bruised ego and not actual malice). in general, i've really like gorgug learning to put his foot down and say enough is enough without completely losing his gentleness.

adaine hasnt had an obvious arc, but considering she addressed most of her baggage in the first two seasons, i'm not surprised. i would've liked to see the other bad kids address her 'teenage adult' behaviour, but her self-awareness about it and relying on fabian to pull in clutch for the oracool stuff still felt like she'd learned to rely on her friends at least + her reaching out to aelwyn and the two of them healing from their parents together has been rewarding it its own right.

riz is perfect and has learned nothing. his neuroticism is part of his natural swag

[witlesswitnesstm]

I am a firm Marvin Gardens BPD/NPD truther, so here’s all my evidence.

This is a very long post, so buckle up.

• Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Let’s go through the symptoms he shows, shall we?

- Has unreasonably high sense of self importance, and requires constant admiration:

Marvin, especially as a child, exhibits a large amount of grandiosity. This is most evident in How Marvin eats his breakfast and My Highschool Sweetheart.

He thinks of himself as above the maid staff and he constantly threatens/accuses them. Then he’s given the role of Columbus, and highly identifies with him to the point where he claims he *is* Columbus. That he’s this grand explorer, who’s the king of the ocean. He believes he’s powerful because of the role.

Then as an adult, Marvin has a constant need for adoration. He needs people (like Whizzer and Trina) to love and want him in songs like Thrill of first love and This had better come to a stop. That might even be a reason he got with Trina in the first place. He wanted to feel needed, without the responsibility of having to love back.

Not to mention the line “Kid. Be my son.” In Father to son. He wants Jason to fulfill the role as his son (and subsequently love him), not really acknowledging he’s his own person. But he still deeply cares about Jason, and wants him to succeed, he just does it through the only lense he understands; himself. Also, I noticed that Marvin literally moves the chess board aside and makes Jason face him during that song, even though he clearly doesn’t want to.

- Believes they deserve special privileges or treatment:

The R of Ms. Goldberg shows Marvin is obsessed with getting what he wants, for no other reason besides the fact that he wants it. It’s also implied that he didn’t even necessarily have the acting skills required to be Columbus, Ms. Goldberg just conceded because he kept pestering her. He believed he deserved it, so he got it.

- Make achievements and talents bigger than they actually are:

Again, Marvin obsessed over being a star actor. He also consistently exaggerates his intelligence with lines like “I can read her like a book” in How Marvin eats his breakfast and “I'm not so rich but hell I'm smart.” In This had better come to a stop.

In I never wanted to love you, Marvin also claims that he’s in demand, when he’s most likely not and is just trying to cover for his ego.

- Preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance

Oh wow. Ok, so we all know about the metaphor for games at this point. Marvin loves winning, he literally says it’s everything to him. He also says that he wants it all multiple times which is just, really driving home the point that he craves success and power over everything else.

Marvin is also characterized as being rich, which again emphasizes his need for success. I’m thinking he climbed the corporate ladder for the sole objective of looking like he’s successful.

Side note, I think the reason he never acknowledges how rich he is might be because he’s ashamed of being a trust fund baby. He had a whole maid staff as a kid, so it’s implied his parents had mad stacks. He might’ve sought success outside his parents’ money so that it was his own accomplishment, not his family’s.

I want to touch on My chance to survive the night, specifically the line “I played a game. She was as cute as a dime and couldn't spell. I asked her to spell my name. That's it for girls.” Marvin has a history of using games as a basis for breaking up with people because of his insecurity, even before Chess game. He gets a lot better with this in act 2, and this is evident in the racquetball matches. He seems a little unconfident, but he’s not devastated by it in the way he would be before.

I’ve mentioned this in a separate post, but The r of Ms. Goldberg can also be interpreted as a fantasy for power, since Marvin isn’t actually interested in having sex with Ms. Goldberg, and instead just wants to have control over her.

- Is critical and looks down on people they feel aren’t important:

Marvin consistently ignores his sweetheart even when she begs for his attention. When she tries to tell him she’s a person, he calls her ridiculous.

Marvin also just generally acted out as a child because he considered everyone as beneath him.

This trait is especially highlighted In Tight Knit family reprise, where he just straight up talks shit about Mendel, not being able to believe that Trina can love him. It’s also shown in Marvin hits Trina, that he dislikes her platitudes and expects substance from her, and then goes on to again beg for admiration with the line “How could you ever deny what we had?”

- Expects others to do what they ask without question:

This is best shown in This had better come to a stop and Chess game. Marvin expects Whizzer to play the housewife, while not acknowledging that he’s his own person.

This is also displayed in Tight Knit family, where he expects everyone to go along with his perfect vision of what a family should be.

- Has an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others:

This is most clear with Sweetheart and Trina. As I’ve said, Marvin blatantly ignores sweetheart’s attempts to love him, and completely disregards her. I want to note how he does this in favor of being attached to Ms. Goldberg and playing Columbus which are his power fantasies, essentially.

This trait is also shown in Breakfast over Sugar when Marvin basically tells Trina to shut up and that she’ll get over it when she’s having a a pretty expected emotional outburst to him divorcing her. He completely disregards her feelings, showing no empathy to her.

- Acts arrogantly:

This can just be interpreted as confidence but Marvin says that he loves being himself multiple times over the course of In trousers.

• Borderline Personality Disorder

- A strong fear of abandonment:

This ties into Marvin’s need for admiration, but he constantly asks others for validation, and even doesn’t want Trina to find new partners because he interprets it as abandonment of his family.

There’s also the workshop version of This had better come to a stop, which is all about how Marvin is terrified that Whizzer’s going to leave him again in act 2, but he tries to bury all those feelings down so that he doesn’t appear needy. One of the lines is “I sit here and slowly rot. Wait for Whizzer, wait for answers, and get none.” Which just really nails down this point.

There’s also Unlikely lovers, when Marvin refuses to leave Whizzer’s side in the hospital.

- A pattern of unstable, intense relationships:

I’m sure we all know where this is going.

Marvin has a lot of opinions about Trina. He says that he thinks she’s perfect in I have a family, but that at the same time, he says that he hates her in I swear I won’t ever again.

His wants are contradictory. He wanted Trina to leave him alone when he divorced her, but couldn’t accept that she married Mendel. Also, he fights with Trina consistently, even throughout Act 2.

Onto Whizzer, their relationship is driven solely by chaotic passion. Their relationship is *built* on fighting and making up with hate sex.

Whizzer has no idea how to feel about Marvin because of how unstable he is. Marvin can be gentle, but he expects everything to go his way. He’s affectionate but highly judgemental. (Then again, so is Whizzer.)

- Quick changes in how they view themself:

This is best shown in Your Lips and Me reprise. Marvin goes from hating who he was and what he did to Ms. Goldberg to having a whole ass victory song about how he loves being himself.

This might be sarcasm, but Marvin is also self deprecating in Tight knit family reprise, with the lyric “I'm too damn peeved, self-absorbed, self-deceived. Who knows?”

- Periods of stress related paranoia and loss of contact with reality

This is a stretch, but Marvin’s exes always hovering around him in In trousers might be paranoia about his past manifesting itself. This is especially clear in I can’t sleep and Your lips and Me reprise where they physically interact with him, preventing him from sleeping or reminding him of his past.

- Impulsive/risky behavior:

Bro got multiple STDs, presumably from unsafe sex. Also, it’s implied that he also got HIV after Whizzer.

Hitting Trina could also be seen as impulsive behavior.

- Wide mood swings:

This is where Marvin’s giddy seizures comes in. He has periods of extreme laughter and giddiness, sporadically.

- Inappropriate levels of anger

Marvin hits Trina. I mean, what else do I have to say? This whole song is about Marvin’s anger taking over his actions and causing physical harm because of it. He also shows inappropriate anger when he brings out Whizzer’s belongings after the Chess game.

Ok Jesus Christ that was a lot of words. Keep in mind that these are just my headcanons and you’re allowed to interpret Marvin in any way you want.

Also I don’t have these disorders myself and I’m not a professional psychologist or anything so let me know if I got some things wrong. I just care way too much about the Marvin Trilogy and I’m also interested in becoming a psychologist.

[ms-scarletwings]

So there was a note under my post about Zim hovering a finger over the self destruct switch on his first day on Earth that just cracked open something in my mind.

Cause…Oh. Oh hecc you, @murhuedur. You actually touched on like, my favorite thing about this character, period. I really like this take, I do. It’s a good one. I ponder, still,

In my own opinion, it’s actually genuine confidence and arrogance, but Zim’s delusions of grandeur are as a thin rubber band. They can stretch out to wild lengths and remain malleable enough to bend around truth as he wills,

But there’s a hard limit out there eventually, and should reality require him to stretch his cognitive dissonance just too far, it’s a violent snap-back to full clarity. I don’t think he’s faking it or always lying to everyone else about what hot shit he is, because I think he fully believes those lies about as fast as he can speak them, even if he will later realize he was wrong after a cosmic punch to the face.

Like, Zim’s smart, but smart people aren’t inherently rational ones. Within Zim, the tallest, hell, maybe even Skoodge, there’s sometimes this very short-sighted flippancy about what is objectively true/false that peeks out every now and again in their psychology. I mean, humans sometimes do this too when it’s convenient to their interests, just, obviously not to goofy cartoon character levels if they want to function in society.

Zim has whatever this flaw is and cranked up to 11, maybe as a side effect of his PAK defects. Sometimes it gets him into DEEP shit, but it’s also his biggest mental shield. Zim has like no fortitude against spiraling into a full on depression or a justifiable panic attack over the smallest concession of being an absolute failure to his race. That weaponized denial that makes him so dangerous to himself and others also keeps him together and motivated forward. But it’s not largely a conscious lie he’s telling himself. It’s genuine faith he’s trying to manifest into matter through sheer force of his will.

His dogmatic mantra, “I am Zim” and what it means to him is a statement he holds on such conviction it overpowered and hijacked the ego of 3 control brains at once.

If I were inserting him into DnD he’d have the wisdom stat of a stale poptart and a 20+ thrown into charisma. He’s faking it without even understanding he’s faking it.

But were he completely detached from reality, he’d be WAY more likely than even now to accidentally get himself killed. While a narcissistic level of self esteem is what lets him ignore and selectively unhear inconvenient truths, the adrenaline of immediate life or death danger is what grounds him back in the real world. You notice over time that as self-sabotaging as he normally is, he seems to act his most rational and competent when he’s suddenly put against the grindstone and self preservation HAS to jump into the driver’s seat. He basically survives his day to day on a tightrope between a falsely glorious narrative of himself, and his perceptive anxiety both tugging him to land on either side of the fence when something big happens.

In “The Trial”, he wastes very little time on his expected bullshit or his confidence in being able to just win over the approval of his judges.. by virtue of being his awesome self. He spent most of that ordeal on the verge of a heart attack, squirmed to find an escape, and actually tried to DENY causing the death of two Almighty Tallests (reminder that he usually owns up to his atrocities with downright offensive pride). He understood the full gravity of an existence evaluation and how cooked his goose was. As soon as the situation resolves and he’s no longer in that danger, it’s right back to full trust of his status as an invader, and in Red and Purple as his biggest fans. When his disguise starts to slip in front of Skool kids he knows are dumb as a bag of rocks, he can silver tongue his way around that without skipping a beat. Losing his disguise in front of a bunch of alien-obsessed adults? Uh oh, pants-shitting terror, this is potentially game-over levels of bad, immediately gtfo of here. Stand there, chest beat, and scold the obviously rogue duty-mode Gir all day until the second it actually tries to kill you and you suddenly have to realize you’re not the one holding the cards anymore to save your own life.

The other way this quirk of his really shows through is in his selective memory. Zim has this skill to repress down and push away unpleasant experiences that I think some of us can only dream we had. I love it because it’s equal parts a comedic and analytical goldmine.

Tak, who actually posed a legit threat to his entire mission and tried herself to chip through that massive wall of denial he’s shielded in- same Tak who’s powerful af ship was stolen and desecrated by Zim’s arch nemesis… she’s not just an afterthought in his mind after that mess. He’s literally pushed that one out of his thoughts altogether in the comics. Like she, and Skoodge, who he can’t fucking stand, might as well have never even existed, even while GIR’s trying to remind him. That time he played around with time travel and it was one of the biggest clusterfucks he quickly lost control of? The bologna incident he stooped so low as to ask dib to help him with? You must be thinking of someone else. Nope. Not a thing. Lalala, can’t even hear you. This is also what makes it no wonder he deeply struggles with actually learning from certain mistakes.

From an outsider’s eye this behavior of his is baffling. It makes him look actually insane or at least obnoxiously obstinate. And I think both assumptions are half right, because this is clearly not the result of mere stupidity. Those truths are simply wayyyy too discordant with his view of himself to devote surface memory to, or too uncomfortable, unless and until, of course, you confront him with them in a fashion where that rubber band has to snap, that bubble pops, and he instantly sobers out of that complacency.

Literally god forbid he ever stops being defective in this way or is given the ability to reckon with the reality of his situation and his history all at once. I’m not even just talking about his job or banishment. I’m talking about his entire life. This chaotic, flexible, incoherent mindstate is the only branch he’s holding onto from dropping into a much more horrifying chasm beneath himself, the depth of which we can only guess. I straight up have no idea what he would do or what could happen to him if he could, even for a moment, rationally comprehend his every action, memory, and empirical truth all at the same time. Seriously, leave that Pak’s Gordian Knot be, or I imagine there could be an HP Lovecraft type of breakdown in the making.

#By the way this is probably one of the most important differences between him and Dib, and what makes Zib so… way he is.

[cyberfreaky]

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

— writing prompt: jake & reader have an argument over how he treats lo’ak.

— notes: this is set during atwow, widowed!jake & fem!metkayina. reader and jake don’t have an established relationship, they have a close dynamic lmaowjdiens

sngel = garbage

part two.

there was an eerie silence that had fallen in your marui pod. the discomfort was made worse with the way jake aggressively sharpened his blade, crouched down in the corner with a face of annoyance. you hadn’t dared to say anything in fear of potentially setting him off into a storm of rage — though it seemed that even the drop of a needle could throw him over the edge.

you’d secretly witnessed jake yelling at lo’ak earlier on for something so insignificant. you had seen how the younger boy’s expression was filled with such profound sadness, barely able to keep eye contact with his father while being scolded harshly. you felt hopeless in the moment, and even more so as the hours had passed.

you were aware that jake was dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a single parent, he had already told you the story about the unfortunate death of his mate. but this did not excuse his behaviour — especially since this was not the first instance of him raising his voice unfairly at lo’ak.

“what is it?”

the sound of jake’s thunderous voice broke you from your trance. you hesitantly look up and notice him glaring balefully at you, his demeanour adding to the existing tension between you both. “don’t know what you’re talking about.” you shrugged.

“don’t make me ask again.” jake seethed, dropping his equipment to the ground.

your dark brows knitted with confusion. was he threatening you? you quickly climbed to your feet and tilted your head to the side questionably. “or what?”

jake was almost taken aback by your stance. he followed suite and stood up, taking a few steps forward as he continued to stare at you with darkened eyes. “don’t get smart, kid. m’not in the mood.”

“you really wanna know what’s on my mind?” you challenged him.

“it’s what i asked, wasn’t it?”

at this point, jake was towering over you. his enraged gaze never faltered, it burned deeper into your soul as he looked down upon you — impatiently awaiting your answer. you were not intimidated by his presence one bit, in fact, his attempt to scare you into a confession was pointless. his ego was a trait of his you truly despised, and it was fuelling the slow burning resentment you were beginning to feel towards him.

“stop treating your son like sngel.” you spat, meeting his stare with an equally malefic glare. “you should never yell at your child like that.”

jake’s jaw clenched at your words. he was struggling to adhere to the fact that you had the audacity to even speak about how he spoke to his children. could it be the complexities of your ‘relationship’ had somehow opened up a door to allow you to critique his parenting? had he somehow given you leeway to make such a ludicrous comment? he was aware you had a mouth on you — but he didn’t think you’d outright cross personal boundaries.

“you have no place to say how i parent my kid.”

you looked at him baffled. jake was so oblivious to his own poor behaviour, you began to question why you even bothered to say anything. “you’re right, it’s not my place.” you stormed past him and grabbed his tools from the ground, throwing them angrily to jake’s feet. “take your stuff and get out.”

he laughed with disbelief, placing a frustrated hand to his temple. “ya’ gonna throw me out? even though you’re the one who started this?” he collected his things from the floor, shaking his head in discontent. “i don’t need this shit from you.”

“then leave!” you point towards the entrance of your pod. “go scream at your kids again, jake. show them what a great father you are!”

for a moment, you noticed the fury in his face contort into an empty look of hurt. it was as if your venomous tone had pierced through his chest, hitting him in the most painful spot imaginable. jake could only stare at you blankly before silently exiting, the numbness that settled into his body made him unable to conjure up any kind of argument. the fact that you had implied he was a terrible father was enough to break him — the one thing he prided himself in had been tainted.

you held your composure as you watched him leave, despite the rush of guilt that was rapidly emerging into your tummy. the remaining of your night was spent regretting everything you had said to him.

— all rights reserved ©️ cyberfreaky (2023) do not repost, translate or copy my work without given permission.

[multi-level-shipper]

This shit was a fucking acid trip, like most of the game.

Anyway, something that poked my brain was the Infirmary. For all this game's insanity, there were actually some decent roots planted for worldbuilding/ character development.

It seems like the reason the cast ended up in Queen Bouncelia's domain is because they're treating the player as if they have 6 stars in GTA. Seline is no exception to this rule, and that seems to be her motivation for coming down to the lower floor, as she watched us leave in Chapter 3.

Toadster noted in his "Archives" that she was already hiding when brought in, and crying in her shell. She may have been antagonized by a bigger enemy- likely Kittysaurus or Tama/Chamataki (turtle chameleon thing), and she may have gone past the kingdom's walls for sanctuary. (That's just a loose theory, though.)

In any case, at some point she was frightened enough to shut down completely.

This could be some kind of anxiety attack, though there's no way to "diagnose" Seline at this point. Also interesting that Seline felt too afraid to even continue moving around on the lower floors. I think this is meant to speak to just how dangerous the lower floors are- if the giant ass snail is afraid, you should be, too.

Next, Jumbo Josh. Toadster categorizes him as a "Green Gorilla", which in hindsight, weirdly makes a lot of sense.

Firstly, an adult silverback gorilla can bench up to 4,000 lbs (or at least, that's what google told me.) Not that we needed an explanation of why he was able to throw Stinger Flynn, but I can only assume that if we adjusted that number for his size...it probably checks out.

Second, the fact that he walks like a chiropractor's worst nightmare. It took me a second, but I FINALLY realized that his posture is meant to IMITATE A GORILLA. Like, look at this:

DEFINITELY EXPLAINS WHY HE WALKS LIKE A HORSE IN GARRY'S MOD.

And thirdly, Josh's love for vegetables is also a gorilla trait. 85% of a gorilla's diet is leafy greens, with the remaining percentage basically amounting to termites and larvae.

Not too much to say about the Fucked Up Birds, but still! Nice to see them finally displaying a flamingo behavior (AKA their sleeping posture) because they seemed to lean more heavily on ostrich behaviors in previous chapters.

Toadster mentions in his archive for "The Teacher" that she keeps repeating the phrase "I can't be late" over and over to herself after being subdued.

He also notes that the bowling pins "calmed her down," which may not entirely be the case. In Chapter 3, in Banbaleena's "Classroom", each object had an assigned role like Cool Kid and Popular Kid. The bowling pins were meant to be the Bullies.

So Banbaleena is likely stuck in a prison of her own self-doubts right about now, which is doubly sad when considering her insistence in Chapter 3 that she was actually trying to be a good teacher. Either someone placed this idea in her head that she needs to strictly adhere to all these rules, or it's a stress she placed upon herself trying to fulfill her identity as a teacher.

Stinger Flynn gets better as the story progresses. He seems to have an ego to the point where he sees himself as a savior that can't see the faults in his own plans. His initial "safest procedures" plan seemed so obvious to him, but it seems as if he measures success by efficiency rather than the cost of human lives. While he's smart, he's not immune to being wrong, though he has yet to learn this.

He also seems to suffer from some form of depression, or at least intense sadness, and we see this as he talks to Banban in the latest hallucination sequence. Makes sense- his intelligence would make him much more privy to all the horrible things happening around him. It seems as if his high intelligence comes at a high price.

Last note- This might just be a case of recycling animations/rigs, but I think it's cute that Banban shares nearly the same emo pose as Banbaleena.

[onestepbackwards]

something i came up for the self aware!pla au. so, you know how the game shows us the ancestors of current day pokemon characters (kamado > rowan and all that)? so, what if the characters ingame knew about that, and went to you to figure out just who and what their descendant will be like. decided to drop a few dribbles for that:

cyllene:

cyllene was the first person to ask you about what will become of her legacy, and who will be the next person to carry the torch. the whole idea that someone will be there after her fascinates her, but unfortunately for you and her.. you played pokemon platinum before. you know you gotta tell her. after a long explanation about who cyrus is, his motivation and what will he do to sinnoh scares her, to say the least. truly, how one like HIM gets to carry the family name is a disgrace, but.. she feels sorry for him, in a way. judging by the way he grew up, it's no wonder he turned out the way he did. maybe cyllene won't be able to do much now, but she will try her hardest to prevent that mistake from happening again.

kamado:

while you always had a bone to pick with the guy, you were quite surprised to see him ask you about just WHO his future great-great-great-great-great grandson is gonna be. will he stay honorable? will he learn from kamado's mistakes and stay off the path he carved to himself? maybe. surprisingly enough, he was more than delighted to hear that his grandson was gonna be a pokemon professor. beats being a war monger, at least.. and who knows, maybe he'll even be like laventon! wouldn't hurt to have a brilliant mind in the bloodline.

volo & cogita:

another curious pair who heard about the ancestry thing. with both of them already recognizing you for your "true, godly powers", they figured out you could give them the answers. you ARE all-knowing, after all. of course, they bicker with each other before you can finally give them the answer. volo wishes that HIS descendant got HIS smarts and didn't cogita's attitude, while cogita wishes that HER descendant got HER manners, and not volo's ego. luckily, you tell them that their descendant, cynthia, got the best of both worlds and none of the worst. you continue telling them about her, and you can't help but see cogita perk up when she hears the word "champion". oh, what a grandiose title! truly, only one of her bloodline can afford one as such! but volo finds more excitement when you tell him that cynthia is just as interested in history and ruins as he is, while sharing a team thats ALMOST identical to his. a garchomp AND a spiritomb? yeah, she's his descendant, no word about it.

It would be such a funny experience fksjfj

“Oh great god, what are my descendants like? Do you know?”

And your face varies over who asks.

Cyllene asks and you just 😬

“Um… I respect you too much to lie but… he kinda tries to commit universal genocide and attempts to become a god of a new universe??”

Cyllene is deathly still.

“He what.”

You are frantically moving you hands.

“No worries! The hero stopped them in their time too!”

Cyllene slumps back in her chair.

“Is… that why they always seemed so nervous around me at first?”

“If it’s any consultation, someone here tried to do the same thing, when ironically his descendant helped the hero stop your descendant??”

She rubs her temples, clearly getting a migraine.

“Please, could you elaborate?”

“On what?”

“Everything.”

You could probably tell others too about their descendants with various reactions.

“Oh yeah, Beni’s descendant almost became champion. Dude became a powerful trainer in the future, rivaled by the eventual champion themself.”

“…”

“Was the real underdog. Sweet kid too.”

You could also do this to fuck with random people, should you desire it.

“Oh yeah! Your descendants do great thing! Until the accident.”

“The what.”

“I have to go.”

I love these ideas though 💕💕 especially telling Volo or Cogita about Cynthia, explaining she is one of the strongest, most ruthless champions across the world.

They would have an ego about it.

And I feel Komado would find some peace with his descendant being a professor. When you tell him about how the hero even knows him, he feels a bit worse though.

No wonder the hero trusted him so easily, if they knew his descendant. His act of banishing them probably hurt even more now that he knows that.

He probably now has caused his descendant strife if the hero eve returns to their time. He knows he caused damage, he just silently hopes and prays his descendant is spared from the hero’s pain.

[blue-slxt]

Smart Mouth

*Request: If you are still taking requests, here's one! Reader is Ao'nung's meaner twin sister, maybe she's known for being an amazing warrior and hunter. But Lo'ak knows it's a front, because with him you aren't like that, he knows how submissive you truly are, especially when he has you under him.*

I have no clue how this turned out this long lmao I kinda just rolled with it. But I love this kind of trope. So I hope you enjoy this one. All characters are aged up.

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

Smut under the cut

The talk amongst the clan about you seems to never cease. For one reason or another, your name was always on the tongues of other people. Many praised your strength. Able to stare down some of the most feared creatures in the wild without so much as blinking. You never backed down from a fight. In some respects, that was admirable. But it hurt the egos of the males in your clan when you would best them in a sparring match. Swinging them and tossing them to the ground with ease and grace.

This led to the talk amongst the people about how difficult it would be for you to find a mate. What kind of man wants a woman who could and would best him? Some looked down on you for it. Others had pity on you feeling that your beauty and status as the daughter of the chief was going to waste. As far as you were concerned, there were plenty of fine men your age in the clan that were plenty strong, but they simply lacked the nerve it took to break your spirit. If someone stepped up to the challenge, you would be more than willing to give him a chance, but no one ever did.

“I mean seriously, am I really so scary?” you would ask exasperated and frustrated beyond belief.

“Of course, you are.” Ao’nung would say without missing a beat while sharpening his knife next to you.

He flinches when your quickly smack him upside the head. Most of the time, the two of you were perfectly in sync, but on occasion, he could annoy you like no other. The pros and cons of being twins.

…

At dinner, your parents force you and your siblings to sit with the Sully kids in an effort to make you all get along. This had carried on for weeks now. Progress was slow going, but it was there, nonetheless. Tsireya took an instant liking to them which was perfectly in line with her personality. She could find the joy and love in any situation. You and Ao’nung were more reserved, though. Always have been. Seeking comfort in each other rather than connections with other people. But over time, the two of you would join in the conversation from time to time.

The Sully kids weren’t necessarily bad, but they weren’t made for reef life and trying to teach them your ways was tedious and irritating. The one who got on your nerves the worst? Lo’ak. He was the only one that gave you trouble with a never-ending string of back talk. He knew how to grind your gears and he did it all with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

“Your diving has gotten better lately.” Tsireya beams at them. But you scoff and roll your eyes.

“Do not lie to them Reya. Your forms are still sloppy. It is a wonder how one of you has not been washed away by the current yet.”

She bumps your shoulder and you just shrug as you were simply stating a fact.

“What? It is true. If it weren’t for us being there and keeping an eye on all of them, they wouldn’t last 2 seconds out there.” You say the last part while looking directly at Lo’ak. The rest of his siblings look annoyed or dejected, but he just turns his nose up at you with that same damn grin. “Is that really what you think?”

You narrow your eyes at him in a silent challenge, but he just cocks his eyebrow at you. You stand from your spot, “Whatever, I’m over this conversation. I’m going for a walk.”

Ao’nung and Tsireya give each other a questioning look watching you leave. It was unlike you. Normally, you never shut up in an argument. What was different about tonight?

You’re about 10 minutes into your walk on the beach when you stop to lean against a large rock on the shore. You just stand there and listen to the waves crashing against the sand.

“You do not seem to be doing much walking to me.”

There’s that voice. “What do you want, Lo’ak?”

“Well, as far as everybody else knows, I came to check on you and make sure you’re okay.” He saunters over towards you until his chest just barely brushes against yours when you breathe.

“So why are you actually here?” annoyance laced your voice and he just laughs lowly to himself.

Suddenly, his hand finds your jaw holding it firm and making you look up at him. “Because, clearly, we need to do something about this smart-ass mouth of yours.”

You do your best to hold his gaze, but it gets hard to focus with the heat pooling in your body. “If you wanted my attention, all you had to do was say so.” He speaks while pressing his body closer to you and essentially trapping you between him and the boulder. “Or maybe you want more than just my attention?”

You want to squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the building pressure, but his body is too close. Your body squirms under him, but it just makes him hold you tighter. “Say it, tíyawn.” His fingertips tease at the strings on your hips holding up your loincloth. Your body is growing hungry and desperate.

“I want it.”

His hands hold your hips and turn you around to face the rock. One hand massages and gropes at your breasts while the other dips under the front of your loincloth and teasingly flicks at your clit.

“I don’t know. I’m not really convinced yet.”

“Lo’ak…” his name leaves your mouth more as a whine than a warning.

“Use your words, baby. You had so much to say earlier.” His fingers rub light circles around your clit without any real pressure behind them. “Be good for me and I’ll let you cum.” For just a second, his fingers press into your clit and your knees buckle. Your mind is growing hazy from the teases of satisfaction he gives you.

“Please, Lo’ak. Please fuck me. I’m sorry. I’ll be good, I promise!”

You can feel his lips ghosting over the skin of your neck, “There’s my good girl.” His lips kiss up the length of the back of your neck while his fingers on your clit finally give you that pressure you craved.

He loved this game you played. On the outside, so tough and proud. No one would dare to stand against you. No one would even so much as hold your gaze for too long. Sure, you were intimidating, there was no debate about that. He was sure you could probably skin a palulukan with your bare hands if you wanted to. But you were also beautiful beyond measure. You carried yourself with grace and confidence. Lo’ak knew from the moment he started training with you that you needed a challenge. You wanted a challenge. And he decided that he was going to be the one to give you everything you wanted. And in turn, it would turn out like this. You turned into a submissive begging mess under him. And you loved it.

His hand moves from your chest to untie both of your loincloths and let them fall to the ground. The length of his dick rested on your ass and a drop of precum falls onto your lower back.

He stands and spreads your ass to watch how your pussy drips in waiting for him. He bites his lip in restraint. Two of his fingers run up and down the length of your slit to gather your slick. He holds them in front of your face, “Open.” You obediently open your mouth for his fingers and swirl your tongue around them. At the same time, he lines himself up with your opening and pushes inside you. You open your mouth, but his fingers push further inside your mouth making you choke on your own moan.

Once he bottoms out inside you, he wastes no time giving you hard, deep thrusts. He pulls his fingers from your mouth to hold your hips for better leverage. Your hands brace yourself against the rock to keep yourself upright. “Oh, fuck! Lo’ak!”

“Yeah, this what you wanted? You wanted me to fuck that little attitude out of you?” A sharp sting lands on your ass when he smacks it.

“Fuck! Yes! Yes!”

Your legs almost give out from under you, but Lo’ak’s grip on your hips keep you on your feet. “Shit, so tight for me.”

Your body is screaming for release. “Ah! Lo’ak, I’m close!” Just as your feel yourself half a second from going over the edge, Lo’ak stops. “Nooo…” Your hips fall back onto him trying to take back your orgasm that he ripped away from you. You can hear the low chuckle he lets out as his hands hold you place. Your head falls forward against the rock in front of you in frustration as tears prick your eyes.

“Lo’ak…please…”

His hand falls on your ass again in another sharp slap. “Who?”

“Please, sir! Please let me cum! I promise I’ll be so good!” You’ve never felt a need like this outside of your heat and he revels in the power he has over you in moments like this.

“Good girl.” He continues beating against your cervix and your head falls back in ecstasy. A hand finds your hair and grips it holding your head back farther. Your eyes almost get lost in the back of your head as they roll trying to meet Lo’ak’s eyes.

The knot in your core tightens again while you climb back up to your peak. “Ah! I’m…g-gonna…” you struggle to get your words out, but you don’t even need to finish your sentence.

“That’s right, baby. Be my best girl and cum on my dick.” His words push your mind over the edge and your body violently trembles under the weight of your orgasm. Lo’ak nears his own high feeling your pussy clench around him desperately trying to milk him deep inside of you.

“Oh, shit, just like that. Take it, baby.” His thrusts get erratic as he fills you with his seed. He holds his hips flush against your ass holding himself inside of you while you both come down.

When he pulls out of you, your legs fully give out. You almost fall to the sand, but Lo’ak catches you and scoops you into his arms. He carries you out into the water to help wash you off. You nuzzle your face into his chest while he holds you and carefully runs his hands over your body. He tenderly kisses the top of your head and the two of you stay out in the water just floating together until you’re ready to return.

…

The next day, everything is back to business as usual. You and Ao’nung are out fishing and he scrunches his nose up at you.

“What? Why are you making that face at me?” you ask finally fed up with it.

“You smell odd. What is that?” disgust drips from his words.

“One more word about it and I will skin you!” you say pointing at him. He rolls his eyes at you, but you know that this won’t be enough to make him stop asking.

Meanwhile, Neteyam and Lo’ak watch the two of you while practicing their breathing techniques.  

“She’s kinda…intense, right?” Neteyam says lowly to Lo’ak hoping that you won’t hear him and turn your rage on him.

Lo’ak simply looks at you and shrugs his shoulders. “Not really.”

[kikyan]

Yandere Savanaclaw Headcanons

Tw: Dark content up ahead y’all!! Mentions of manipulation, gaslighting, possessiveness, etc. 

Banner made by my lovely bestie @herestrish don’t steal pls or I’ll eat your kneecaps, I’m entering my Hannibal era <3! Jokes aside. . . disclaimer!! 

These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these is 100% accurate. I don’t condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such! Underage characters will ONLY be given SFW headcanons, please respect this decision. If these headcanons sound dry. . .I’ll redo them I’m sorry I was tired 

Leona Kingscholar

Okiedoki, these headcanons were WAY long overdue and me being the chaotic and messy person I am, did not plan these ahead nor did I make a posting schedule. Without further ado, here we go! Can you name a bigger kin? Leona is me and I am Leona. From what I’ve seen in the fandom, Leona seems to be a personality that not many people differ from. Like it’s all collectively and mutually agreed on how he acts. Regardless, the character traits I assign him are overprotective, possessive, and manipulative.

No one here can argue that Leona isn’t smart, mans is brilliant only issue being he lacks motivation. Assuming I got all my facts straight, he’s smart and talented and has all amazing qualities, but it doesn’t matter because he’s not the firstborn. His signature spell is so dangerous, he’s constantly being upstage because name and reputation matter more than actions. Not to his darling, he’s possessive over his S/O because you’re his. You’re not someone given to him because of his status or lack of, you’re his because you were able to charm the lion and gain his affection. You’re his because he won, he won YOUR affection. All hell will break loose if someone DARES to even touch you, looks at you wrong, or do anything to hurt you. He’ll often refer to you as one of his belongings but words aside, he really does see you as his equal. This ties in with his overprotectiveness and his overall fear of losing the one person that matters in his life, you.

Manipulative. Though he wants a fair game, mans is cheating. He’s not above using dirty methods to get you to be his in the first place. He’s probably gaslit you before and you wouldn’t know. He’s smart and he has Ruggie, this is important. He’d probably disagree with you and advise you to do something else, when you decide to go off on your own he’ll send Ruggie to stir up the pot but not right away no, that’s too convenient! He’ll wait until you have a sense of security before striking, when things go downhill and you come back to him he won’t smile, he won’t say anything other than, “I told you so.” He’s so smug about it too, that smirk when he’s in the right and you’re in the wrong.

I’d say personally, he’s a 7/10 on the yandere scale, he’s definitely not someone you want to mess with and by all means half of the time it’s him just being protective. Bro’s the type of guy to help you study but not before he makes you give him a kiss or fuel his ego for a bit. He’s able to lower his guard around you, sleep comfortably with you, and laze around, just don’t get too comfy. Any signs he notices of defiance and he’s not afraid to show you why the others respect him. His scale may increase if he’s angry, he’d never hurt his S/O but the others?

Ruggie Bucchi

I don’t know much about Ruggie just because he’s not a character I was very interested in but he’s so funny. Getting straight into it, possessive, manipulative, and overprotective. He’s not a threat, a solid 4/10. I happen to remember that Ruggie was raised by his grandmother and that in book 4 went back home with a lot of food because the kids in his home didn’t have enough. Ruggie has a good heart, it’s just hard to get him to trust someone else because of it. I like to this that his S/O is someone who was able to remind him that it’s okay to be selfish just as much as it is important to be selfless. With that in mind, I think Ruggie being possessive over his S/O is reasonable. Ruggie keeps things that matter to him close, that includes you, babes!! Just as he steals anything else, he stole your heart. Your safety and security matter a lot to him, maybe not at first but as time goes on it’s his first priority. I’ll be honest, Ruggie is a fun person to be around. His jokes and his mannerism are sure to make you smile along with his good heart.

Furthering into his possessiveness, I like to think he gets super jealous when his S/O is with someone else or not having their attention on him. Someone approaches you and asks you to have lunch with them or to study, Ruggie gets pouty and gives you the silent treatment. You’d ask him something and this man will be so petty. “I don’t know, why don’t you ask [Student Name]” or “I don’t know, you seemed to have more fun with them so I don’t want to disturb you”. That kind of petty. He won’t lie, he loves the attention he gets from you. You desperately trying to make it up to him because you NEED him. That being said, he’s a pain in your ass but he’s saved it multiple times. I like to think that Ruggie is that person who at the start of it tries to show that he doesn’t care. The type to flee when you’re in danger or not help because there is nothing to gain until he catches feelings. Slowly saying things like, “Well, we can work out the details of my reward later. . .” or “It’s whatever, I owe you anyways”. He gives off mammon vibes, just not a simp.

As time goes on and he and his S/O start to get closer, he’d be more willing to help you and do things for you. Manipulative, it kinda rubs off on him from Leona tbh. I know for a fact Ruggie knows some underhanded moves to get what he wants, at first he’ll play with your heartstrings, being pouty and petty. If that doesn’t work he’ll get annoyed and just flat-out ignore you. He’s not going to grovel and beg, he’s done plenty of that already. He’s going to make you beg for his attention and his help. The type to pull your hair in class and pull pranks, having the teacher find you and scold you while ignoring Ruggie. Unrightfully giving you detention as he looks the other way. As you’re sitting and doing your boring work, he pops in for a second and just mocks you.

He’s kinda like Ace just a bit toned down! He’s not a dangerous yandere just an annoying one but you should be alright with him!

Jack Howl

Jack gets two, over-protective and possessive. He’s not a dangerous yandere either, like a 3/10? He’s a character with morals and without a doubt, genuine love and concern for his S/O. I know he means well and he does, he’s a super sweet yandere!

Jack is most definitely a protector. As we saw in the game, at first he didn’t seem to want to do a whole lot with us until we got to book 2. He’s super loyal and caring, qualities that his S/O loves and respects as does he. If you’re ever being picked on or bullied, Jack is on the case! He’s going off on them, saying how it’s so cowardly of them to pick on someone who can’t defend themselves. Do you need a walk home? Jack will do it! Do you need some help with an assignment? He doesn’t know much, but he’s down to help you learn better! He’s a sincere lover who cares a lot, and he’s possessive. I feel like Jack at first would hate his feelings. He has no right over you so why does he feel so upset when you’re talking to someone else? Did you find a new partner? You’re staying out late? Don’t you need him….? He shouldn’t feel like this, but he does! Jack would try to deny it at first, surely ir’s just admiration! I mean you did stand up to Leona after all and that takes some real guts!

Possessive. Once those feelings subside, he’s doing what he can to have your attention on him. Inviting him to all his spell drive practices, offering to help you with homework or the other way around. He just wants to protect you. Sure his presence can be suffocating to the point he’s a bit clingy, I mean I don’t think you’re gonna get attacked in line waiting for your food, but who knows? He’s always there, conveniently as well. Acts of service are one of his love languages, you need a book from the high shelf? He’s already on it. You don’t have a partner for the project? No worries neither does he. Leona and Ruggie notice his behavior, often teasing him but never going further. Jack is. . .how do I say this? Awkward. He is so awkward, the type to invite you out to eat and just eat in silence. The type to be content being in your presence so he doesn’t really do anything else. Give him time and he’ll be better, promise!

[dballzposting]

The way that Mr Satan, at such a time of acute crisis, was able to see the good in Majin Buu ... really makes me think.

At first, to be honest, it's a little unnerving the way he quickly adapts to the domestic life of cooking and bathing with Majin Buu. Like, you know that a lot of people are still dead, right? So what is this? Are you just going to live like this forever? What's the plan for tomorrow? The day after? It feels a bit like stockholm syndrome, it feels like denial - just the way that the situation is SO grave and SO dangerous, but like a desperate child, he clings to and perhaps exaggerates what little good there is. Is this his having a sensitive heart and being perceptive? Is this the best way to go? Or is he being delusional? Why is he so quick to throw his heart mind and soul into this, even when his fear for Majin Buu is still evident? Is doesn't seem smart. But I guess this isn't about being smart, but about surviving.

Alternatively, times of crisis can pull to the forefront a person's deepest and most influential foundation, so perhaps Mr Satan really does just have the biggest heart out of anyone here.

This really is profoundly stressful for him. Later on he rationalizes that this is all just a dream, clearly. Fucked up beyond measure.

Later, though, when Kid Buu spits the first Majin Buu out, Mr Satan runs over to him and is distraught to see him so close to death. He comments, in tears, that Buu was just too good for a world like this.

The sheer amount of feeling and importance that Mr Satan has wrapped up in this perception made something click for me. I think that Mr Satan sees himself in Majin Buu, and that's why things went the way they did.

Here was the scene - one World Champion, the ultimate Good, VS the biggest assailant the Earth has yet to see, the ultimate Bad. In that way, they are matched in (assumed, perceived) gravity.

Mr Satan is like King Leo the Lion, the biggest figurehead, the loudest show pony; and wherever there is such a loud ego, there is something small underneath. He can be brash, he can be cocky, he can be judgemental, he constantly discredits others to keep himself on top - because on the inside he is fragile, and he cares too much, and he really does love helping people, and he does love being important, and he does want to be loved. He has to keep himself on top so that he can keep being loved unconditonally.

It seems to me that on the inside he's just a sad and lonely little boy who wants to feel important. So he puts on a huge show, and that tends to drive away authentic connection, but he gets to be seen. And hes in it too deep now, by reputation and lifelong habit. But he's really not that vapid inside, not really. He loves his daughter and later on his granddaughter so damn much, and he's perfectly capable of carrying around a crushing amount of care and love.

Love can be a tango of vulnerability and strength, and Mr Satan's relationship with both is definitely spotty, but again, he was strong (or dumb) enough to extend compassion to Majin Buu just based off of how little good he had seen.

I think that he saw something familiar in Majin Buu: somebody whose shadow far preceded him, somebody with strength that bested all competition, somebody loud and known and kingly - and somebody deeply misunderstood. Somebody who was just misguided. Somebody who had the capacity for gentle sweetness, somebody who was just a kid inside, somebody who just needed a friend.

I don't think that Mr Satan was aware of the personal resonance, but I think it was there. And even when the end of the world was impending, Mr Satan couldn't turn a blind eye to what made the most sense to him.

I think that Mayor Dewey from Steven's Universe is very similar to Mr Satan in this way which is why they should get married and be husbands

[jackassbrainrot]

hot mess [knoxville x bam]

desc: The jackass guys are out partying and Knoxville can't take his eyes off Bam. Bam is determined to prove he's not a kid anymore.

a/n: loosely based on the song hot mess by cobra starship, not proofread and written in the middle of the night per usual, probably gonna rework this one

warnings: smut, oral, drinking, knoxville is mean ig

Knoxville was sitting at the bar, half listening to whatever Dunn and Pontius were talking about next to him, sipping on his overpriced beer. His eyes were fixed on the dancefloor, or well, one specific person.

Bam had just turned 21 and was making the most of it. His moves were sloppy, his eyeliner smudged, his hands on the hips of a girl whose name he didn't care to remember. He was on top of the world.

Knoxville doesn't know how long he'd been staring at his co-star before their eyes locked. Bam looked confused for a second, before his expression morphed into a smug smirk. 'Arrogant brat,' Knoxville thought to himself, downing the rest of his beer.

The skateboarder stumbled towards the bar, leaning against it right next to Knoxville. "Gonna buy me a drink?" the young man slurred, that obnoxiously charming smile still painting his lightly reddened face. "Sure thing, sweetheart." That southern drawl and the pet name made Bam shiver, his confidence waning for a brief moment.

Bam didn't know what he was doing, the alcohol in his system clearly taking over. Sure, he found Knoxville attractive, and yeah, maybe the way Johnny looked at him like a predator watching his prey turned him on and-

His train of thought was cut off when the older man handed him his drink. He downed it in one swig, face scrunching up from the bitter taste. Knoxville watched him with amusement, a hint of something else sparkling in those big brown eyes of his. Bam came up with the best plan his drunk mind could conjure. "Think I'm gonna puke." He said, standing up and pulling Johnny towards the bathroom with him.

As soon as the bathroom door shut, Bam caged the bigger man against it, his hot breath against Johnny's ear. "Y'know, I felt you starin' the whole time. What, you jealous?" Knoxville laughed then, both at the position they were in and the drunk man's question. "She's not really my type." He leaned against the door nonchalantly, staring down at his costar.

"But I am." Bam said playfully, looking up at the older man with those big doe eyes no one seemed to be able to resist. Johnny laughed again. "You're so self absorbed, kid." The skateboarder's expression changed, his ego bruised.

"I'm not a kid."

"Prove it then."

Bam didn't like being underestimated and he for sure wasn't letting Johnny goddamn Knoxville patronize him. He was determined to prove the older man wrong.

What Johnny didn't expect was for Bam to fall to his knees in front of him, haphazardly unbuckling his belt and pulling his half hard cock out of his pants. "Not your type at all, huh?" The younger man snickered before wrapping his hand around the shaft and pumping slowly. Knoxville groaned at the contact, which only spurred the younger man on. Bam started slowly licking and kissing every part of Johnny's dick, taking his sweet time. "Quit bein' a tease." Knoxville gritted through his teeth. Bam hummed, so satisfied with himself as he slowly took his friend's cock all the way down his throat.

Knoxville couldn't help but moan at the scene playing out in front of him. Bam's red and swollen lips wrapped so perfectly around him, hair sticking to his forehead from sweat and those damn blue eyes staring right up at him. "Look like a girl with your makeup messed up like that." Knoxville teased, not expecting Bam to moan and pick up the pace at the comment.

Taking a handful of Bam's hair, the older man began fucking the younger man's mouth with little care for his comfort. "Gonna cum in that smart mouth of yours, brat." Bam felt a blush creep up his body at the crude words, moaning as he felt Knoxville's cum spilling down his throat.

Bam pulled off Knoxville's cock with a pop, breathing heavily. Knoxville tucked himself back into his pants, looking down at the man kneeling in front of him before his eyes stopped at his crotch. "Did you seriously cum in your pants from sucking me off?" A cruel smile spreading across his face as he watched the younger man take in what he said.

"See, just a kid."

And with that, he left Bam still kneeling on the dirty floor, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting more.

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 2, Part 1/3 (p. 249-439)

Read the previous post here.

From this point on, these successive Act breakdowns will be spread across multiple posts. Act 1 is easily the shortest Act at 248 pages, so I was able to fit everything in one post. I think I just barely made it under the image limit. Anyway, let's move right along to Act 2.

I didn't discuss Rose's character in the last post, so I think this is a good time to talk about her. She strikes me as a bit of a "gifted kid" that was always ahead of her peers in terms of academics. She's bookish and more educated than her friends, a fact that she flaunts by utilizing her robust vocabulary and making allusions that go over other peoples' heads.

She must love having a dullard like John as a friend. He's too dumb to cotton onto her pretentious, ridiculous metaphors. She can act like a pseud all she wants and he'd never question it. He just sees big words, assumes she's talking about something far beyond his understanding, and laughs it off. To him, she just comes across as very smart, which is precisely the image of herself she wants to cultivate for others. Having someone like that in her close friend group must give her immense validation.

This GameFAQs guide is a great showcase of her big ego. She uses multiple paragraphs full of unnecessary verbiage to deliver a simple introduction. "My introduction will be sparse" my ass! Imagine trying to scour through this while meteors are crashing down all around you. Even though nobody who reads this is going to survive, she still insists on making a big spectacle of things and flexing her skills as a writer.

And yet, she's so secretive of her private writings, refusing to let the reader even look at them. Her persona of being a highbrow intellectual obsessed with psychoanalysis is all a facade, something she uses to conceal her genuine interests (wizards and fantasy).

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that even though Rose comes across as garrulous and self-important, she's still a more fleshed out character than John.

I severely dislike these little walk-around segments. Normally I'm a fan of point-and-click adventure games, but this feels so clunky and not fun to move around in. You explore them the first time and have no inclination to do so ever again. I can't even find any worthwhile dialogue clicking on any of the objects. It's a waste of time. I'm glad there's only one other page like this later on before Hussie switches to the "Alterniabound" design.

Rose exposits this fantastical scenario John has found himself in, as well as the impending danger threatening the rest of the world. All he has to say about it is "wow, ok." I can't deal with this kid, man. He must've been lobotomized shortly after birth or something.

He has more of a reaction to Rose seemingly forgetting his birthday than to any of the other crazy shit currently happening. He doesn't even thank her for helping to save his life. This reread is really making me hate John.

John seems to draw the line at following potentially life-threatening commands. Though I somehow think this has more to do with WV having gained control of the command console at this point in the story. Unlike Rose or the reader, WV has a very rude and authoritative way of typing commands that upsets John. I wonder if he'd have less reservations crossing the catwalk if Rose told him to do it.

Here's the beginning of the "Fedorafreak Saga" where this man is shown to survive the cataclysm brought on by Sburb. It's kind of a fun little diversion, but there's no real payoff to it.

"especially ethnic wedding" is another crazy Rose quote. Also this GameFAQs guide continues to be incredibly word-dense and not at all conducive to helping players succeed in this literal life-or-death scenario. Especially when they're on a time limit.

For narrative purposes, it's just info-dumping all the technicalities of the various Sburb mechanics. It really isn't worth reading, in my opinion. The game mechanics might be one of the least interesting parts of Homestuck to me. I don't want to get bogged down reading about how an alchemiter works.

Besides, we saw all these mechanics in action during Act 1; it's unnecessary to read about all of it again. This sort of thing should be reserved for supplemental material, not as a part of the work itself.

Dave be spittin' bars here. I don't think enough acknowledgement is given to Dave's rhymes. I think they're pretty funny. I'd like to hear someone actually rap them over a beat.

Dave continues to make reference to his and Rose's flirting. John is tired of hearing about it.

needleKind might be a contender for the dumbest kind abstratus since knitting needles aren't even sharp. I wonder if Hussie was even aware of that. Probably not or else he wouldn't have included that "filet a sword fish" line.

All the creature entries in the Grimoire are funny, but this one takes the cake. Every sentence here is gold.

This is a nice passage that I like a lot. It seems to relate to Rose's quest to "play the rain" later on in the story. I'll talk more about it when I reach that part, but it was always a part of the story that I wanted to see come to fruition and it burned me that it never did.

However, reading this passage and noting how it actually does foreshadow Rose's reluctance and ultimate failure to play the rain does help ease the sting a little bit. It is thematically relevant to Rose's character for her to put on this grandiose display of competence only to fumble when put on the spot. She's a kid who's way in over her head, something that applies to many of Homestuck's characters.

Unfortunately, it's capped off with the fourth instance of this dumb misattributed quote gag. The Charles Barkley detail is part of another running gag where all the kids are associated with a black celebrity, Charles Barkley in Rose's case. It's weird and I don't get it.

Dave swoops in from nowhere and interrupts Rose's scene to do his intro. Like Rose, he also disobeys the reader's commands, going so far as to slice apart the text box when the joke name is typed in. (Insufferable Prick... now where have I heard that before?)

(Rose's joke name "Flighty Broad" was also based on a line Dave called her before).

Dave's interest in photography and dead things don't manifest nearly as often as his love of rapping and music. He specifically likes obscure bands because he's a hipster doofus. Funnily enough, I don't see as many people call him a hipster as often as they do to other characters like say, Eridan.

Dave never does bleat like a goat by the comic's end, does he?

Dave, despite outwardly acting like an aloof jackass most of the time, really does care about his friends. I think that's part of the reason he's always been my favorite out of the kids.

I love that Clubs Deuce just flails about uselessly when the Midnight Crew are all beating the shit out of each other.

In Dave and Rose's first pesterlog, Rose immediately suggests Dave might be gay because he's been ignoring her. Unlike John, Dave is able to keep up with Rose's repartee and the results are some of the better written pesterlogs in the whole comic. I love the chemistry between these two so much. Dave is less cerebral than Rose, but he's just as intelligent. He's able to see past her shit and challenge her instead of being awed by her intellect. She in turn also sees right through his own mask of "irony" and tries to poke holes in it.

Their friendship seems the strongest out of the whole group; Dave even mentions that he knows who's messaging him before he checks the Pesterchum window. In previous conversations with John, he acts as though Rose is a nuisance and that she's always bugging him, but here we see them get along very well. At no point does he attempt to brush her off or weasel out of the conversation.

For Rose's part, Dave isn't some sycophant or a dupe who's swayed by her way with words. He's someone she can respect, someone who can match her mentally, and someone who loves typing out over the top metaphors just as much as she does. It's likely refreshing for her to be around someone like that, which is why she's always pursuing him for conversation.

Ah, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to further gush about these two as I progress through the story. For now, let's keep moving.

Oh don't worry, she'll hold you to that promise.

Rose responds to Dave's earlier interruption with one of her own and we're back to her perspective again. Even meta-textually, they go back and forth with each other.

For an aspiring psychoanalyst, Rose is quick to dismiss the idea that her mother's behavior is motivated by anything except spite. Rose's mom knows her daughter loves wizards, so she buys all this wizard memorabilia in the hopes it'll make her happy. Rose, refusing to believe her mom feels genuine love toward her, twists these gestures into ones of malice and mockery. Teenagers, am I right?

This is similar to how John's dad displays all that harlequin junk in the house to please his son, even though John can't stand any of it. Parents not understanding their children is a classic theme in Homestuck.

Rose acting utterly deranged in response to her mom's sincere, albeit excessive, displays of affection.

Dave's conversation with Jade is void of all the wit and chemistry present in his talk with Rose. Here he strips himself of his sardonic, crude side because he is a dumb teenage boy fawning over the "nice girl" to get in her good graces.

Jade is just... I don't think I can put off talking about her for much longer. Perhaps in the next post I'll explain my gripes with her character.

I'm not sure what to make of Mom Lalonde's "ironic negligence" where she offers Rose her martini. Is she playing into Rose's idea of her as an incompetent mother, or is she just that drunk right now?

I don't think that Mom is the perfect parent, mind you. She does come across as emotionally distant and constantly intoxicated. To compensate for that, she showers Rose with gifts, which isn't exactly a good substitute for proper parenting, well-intentioned as it may be.

Mom isn't perfect, but she's trying. Rose's insistence that she's some kind of spiteful, passive-aggressive mastermind is pure delusion on her part.

Dave trusts Rose enough to tell her that he doesn't like his brother's puppets as much as he lets on. Very interesting for someone who is so hesitant to drop his mask around others.

Also, Rose reveals that she likes his brother's puppet porn websites.

Oh no! Yeah, really selling that distress, John.

He has a bigger negative reaction to being told to eat some cookies than he does to finding out his father had been kidnapped. If I was in Rose's place, I'd be losing my mind.

In this first third of Act 2, it still suffers from the same PS-esque jokes and video game references. John is still aggravatingly dull and his conflict with WV is unfunny and interrupts the pace.

But the stakes are also getting higher, the plot is progressing, and the cast is expanding with two much stronger characters. Overall, I think this is a step up so far.

Read the next post here.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - “Harder, Daddy”. “Son?!?” “🤨” Cont.

@bubblegumbeech @library-of-cronos @ghostboidanny @ecto-mochi @miss-nov @thegayonthemoon

Chap.5 Show Me To My Wonderland

It’s been a few days now and Danhy’s pretty sure Maddie and Jack and the school have more or less accepted shit, at least he wasn’t getting bombarded with questions anymore and Maddie and Jack had more or less settled into just acting like nothings changed. He doesn’t get called ‘son’ anymore and they still make little faces over the ‘aunty’ ‘uncle’ thing but otherwise no change. Meaning they’re not really okay with it but going along with it anyways. Because it’s easier? Because they don’t want to make things worse? Because they don’t care? Hard to say and he legit barely cares. They’re still being ‘family’ and Jazz seems pleased so it’s good.

Even if they definitely didn’t think Danhy would actually get himself a ride to his actual parents. The fucking chariot was goddamn overkill, the royalty thing was still wild. Maddie more than Jack were definitely upset since she’d been all ‘are you really going?’, and both of them had been stiff and weird when he got back; they also thought the ‘king’ and ‘god’ thing was bullshit Danhy was being fed to ‘impress’ him and make him like his parents more. He was pretty settled on spending most weekends at the Keep, hadn’t dragged Sam and Tuck along yet but eh. Sue him if he, and his parents, wanted some ‘just them’ bonding time, Jazz was entirely in favour of that, same with Sam and Tuck; Jack and Maddie didn’t get a say especially since he knew what their opinion was already.

… He won’t be too surprised if they kick him out at eighteen, that or they’ll get way better and get over their bigotry. One was waaaaay more likely.

Especially because the lack of a seal thing was definitely doing shit, the strength he was absolutely right on, but now he’s growling and shit at anything that annoyed him. Oh, he also literally felt more ego-y, proud; it was weird when he was used to, like, basically almost the opposite. Which probably actually kept said ego in check? His dad had an ego bigger than he physically was after all. Pops was more self assured and confident rather than ego and pride; the ghost literally knew everything so figures.

And Danhy absolutely can sense when ghosts show up in Amity even when he’s in the Infinite Realm! It feels different, as if the pull and sensation is in the distance rather than right there with him; still useful and chilled out his protectiveness though.

The Phantom PR on the other hand? Oof, exactly as he expected. There was a lot of ‘is Phantom turning evil!’ and ‘is ghost puberty a thing?’ And ‘It’s showing its true colours!’. Then someone actually had the smart idea to ask Danhy, aka the guy who is the kid of the fucking ghost king, you know, the guy Phantom flew off into the sky to fight? Danhy spun some bullshit about how Pariah found out that Phantom, by protecting the town, had effectively been protecting his son as well, and as a result knighted the ghost for his services. So as such Phantom’s physical change was one part power boost -meaning he could protect the town better. Which most folks were in favour of these days. Jack and Maddie were not impressed- and one part the effect of getting an official title from basically the most powerful ghost ever; that led into Danhy vaguely explaining that ‘yes ghosts have titles and roles’ and ‘yes ghosts have a hierarchy system’, which led to ‘yes ghosts have governments’ and ‘yes ghosts have laws’. Jack and Maddie thought he was being foolish for believing the ‘lies’ his actual parents were telling him, even though Danhy was able to actually see that shit in action in person repeatedly. Either way Amity actually seemed to view the ghosts a little more positively now, and one of the popular girls attempted to teach Phantom how to brush fire hair; Ember got involved, he now knew how to do a pretty solid pony tail. It looked weirdly good on him and he was heavily encouraged to grow his hair out some; which he was actually debating on doing.

Oh! And a dude who apparently served in the military had some words to say about Phantom actually having armour now and how stupid it was that he hadn’t already been wearing that kind of thing. That had been soooo awkward, him having to basically shout about ghost clothing and how only weird ghosts usually added to it. Then Red showed up shouting about him being a weird ghost himself, which was absolutely right, and started shooting at him.

She seemed super annoyed Phantom was more durable now. He laughed at her. She shot at him more aggressively. He teased her all the more. She eventually wore herself out and just outright asked him to keep an eye on ‘Danny’ for his safety because she trusted Phantom more than ‘that psycho and who ever’s crazy enough to get with said psycho’. Was it weird he was a little touched by that? Probably.

Regardless, apparently a week-ish of time was considered ‘enough’ to let him adjust and get to know them before dropping the ‘THE REIGN OF DARK HAS AN HEIR” shit on the Infinite Realm. Meaning now Danhy has to get publicly introduced and made official and shit. When he asked if his fraid, Jazz included, could come he’d been given a very firm ‘this is your place as a ghost, this is meant only for ghosts’ and a ‘they’ll be part of this realm in time, like many others, they can be part of this with you then’. Danhy was still a little miffed they couldn’t be around what was basically a literal crowning and Lion King style child show off.

Danhy groaning as the dressers basically drag him around, they couldn’t speak and Danhy didn’t ask why, but they could be very aggressive about shoving him in random clothing that was so much more excessive than his standard shit. Meaning now he’s got on a silly, in his opinion, kilt and set of freaking Loki-style horns over his standard ghost clothing. The random neck gear jewelry, skull cape clasps, and bracelets were ridiculous too, ditto with the Norse time and family runes? face paint; dagaz, jera, thurisaz, and kenaz; if he’s remembering names right. Gebo and Wunjo on the back of his hands, marking him as a ‘gift that brings them joy’; that was impossible not blush over. Talk about embarrassing, ugh. Also! His ears are pierced now! Or hole punched really! Stupidly more painful than he expected, and he was going to fiddle with it so much. One of the plugs had a valknut on it and the others got a gear cog; nice and very cool looking. Sam’s parents were gonna flip and Sam’s gonna love every second of it.

Danhy huffing a little as the dressers push him out of the dressing room and right into ol’ Frighty. The ghost seems pleased, “you look more theirs”.

“We’ll excuse me if I’m not going to start wearing face paint and jewelry all the time, ear things are awesome though”. The kilt thing he might adopt, during summer and all that; one part heritage, one part comfort (Danhy did, in fact, start wearing a kilt during summer. He actually got compliments on it too! Even Maddie and Jack thought it suited him). Either way he follows after the knight ghost, eventually hearing all the chatter.

“-has returned to us! Regardless of certain one’s feelings of displeasure over his existence!”.

Danhy mentally laughs at that.

“Our high kings mad wrath quelled as his young kin’s grown fiercely and become battle hardened far more than you fools! And these lands will be his as well in time! Let any dead before him tremble in his own strain of darkness and might! The dying to pay their tolls in blood and servitude, should it be desired!”.

Danhy does not want people’s blood, ew. Though fighting did kinda spill blood and stuff.

“You all exist within his high royal highnesses darkness and know that he is what all good and evil fear! Be blessed that you’re allowed to bask in further darkness! A Phantom of darkness!”.

Oh cool, the FrightKnight is now walk/floating Danhy out to the crowd of ghosts, some who are probably gods and shit. Danhy’s totally not nervous! Not at all! Not one little bit!

… Sweet Zone, was that ever a lie.

“Presenting! Danhy Phantom! Ling of the High Ghost Sovereign, God of Death, Pariah Dark! And of the Ancient Guardian God of Time, ClockWork!”.

The FrightKnight standing off to the side and behind as Danhy comes to stand in between his dad and pops; his dad standing further forward than his pops who’s floating. That made sense since this was a royal -holy shit he’s royalty, that still hasn’t quite set in- event.

“A being granted life to know death all the better! A being well thrived in light and darkness! To know both better!”.

All the servants or squires or whatever begin chanting:

“Darkness of youth!”

“Darkness of old!”

“Darkness that bind!”

“Darkness that hold!”

“A Flame in dark!”

“A Flame in light!”

“A Flame by thee!” 

“A Flame raised right!” 

“Darkness of truths!”

“Darkness of lies!”

“Darkness that sleeps!”

“Darkness that flies!” 

“A Flame in war!”

“A Flame in might!”

“A Flame by thee!”

“A Flame known by sight!”.

Pariah stabs his sword on the ground, “SILENCE!”; which obviously shuts everyone up. Gesturing a hand aggressively at Danhy, “YOU ARE BUT PUPPETS FOR WE! FOR OUR SOCIETY AT LARGE! OF MIGHT! YOU ARE BUT DISPENSABLE TOOLS! AND SO LONG AS WE REMAIN NOT AN ENEMY OF YOURS WE WILL BE ENEMIES OF ALL OTHERS! THOSE WHO OPPOSE OUR REIGN OR SEEK OUR END! WHETHER WE STALK TOWARDS THEM! A LOOMING DEATH! NOW OR FROM THE SHADOWS IN TIME’S FUTURE!”.

“HAIL!”.

Pariah turns to Danhy, who’s trying to not look wide-eyed. His poor fucking ghost ears. “FOR YOUR ARRIVAL I SAT AND WAIT, I NEED YOU NOT! NOR DO I NEED YOUR ACTIONS TO REACH MY GOALS! YOU! YOUNG ONE! ARE NO PLAYER IN MY GAME! YOU MAY CHOOSE TO MAKE ALL YOUR ENEMY OR NONE! IT MOVES ME NOT! BUT A BLESSING YOU REMAIN UPON ALL! AND FOR THAT BLESSING UPON MY DARKNESS I DESIRE YOU TO WATCH NOT YOUR OWN FINAL GRAVE BE DUG BUT DIG OTHERS THEIR OWN! SO PRESENT YOURSELF FOR ALL! YOUNG ONE! AND KNOW THAT I AND ALL OTHERS ARE PLEASED AND HORRIFIED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!”. A tiny crown forms in the ghosts massive hands, Danhy eyeing it as his dad puts it on his head; he can feel its connection to him immediately. New power flowing from it and into him, it was strange but the feeling settles nicely as if it was always meant to be there.

Then his dad steps back, nodding at watching Danhy’s ecto-field flare and settle properly, now letting Danhy effectively take the stage and say his piece.

Danhy’s not about to scream or bellow or whatever at everyone, the ecto in the air carrying his voice easily and there’s a pressure to his voice that has some kind of command to it, “I don’t present myself for your approval. And I’ll only laugh if you try and kill me; and then I’ll annoy you so much that you regret everything. I’ll use my claws on those who hurt me or mine. Otherwise-”, waving the crowd off to seem more chill about this shit, “-I’ll leave you to your bullshit and vices, which in the end may end or beat you as well. But then I had no part in that. But if you cross me I will make sure to be the last face you see, I can promise that. I’ll fight for fun or not. I’ll match that energy. So play nice or square up”.

He actually gets some laughs, cool. Go him. And a bunch of yeti’s yell, “PRAISED BE THE GREAT ONE! OH SAVIOUR!”. Much to Danhy’s great confusion.

The announcer dude or whatever shouting, “you have seen and been beholden! Now BEGONE!”. Does everyone leave instantly? Yup! Well… almost everyone. Danhy’d bet money that the ones that remain are god ghosts.

ClockWork floating closer to Danhy, practically winding around him and grinning, “well, go on, say hello to your fellow gods, even though you are more Demi-god than god in truth”.

Why is this Danhy’s bullshit to deal with? Also, how is he actually a god at all? And of what? Zone fuck this shit. It’s kinda funny though ‘cause almost none of the ones he can see -there’s a fucking lot- have legs. Danhy going over with ClockWork in tow, Pariah sticking a little bit further back even though he was technically a god too; a god by conquested position or whatever.

Danhy gives a little wave, “hiyya, if you all wanna fight me now I’m gonna be so annoyed”. That gets him some snickers, laughs, eye rolls, huffs, and pouts.

“Hmmmm. We’ll see”.

“In time perhaps”.

“Now is hardly what I’d call appropriate”.

“That depends on your opinion on dogs”.

“I’d be annoyed fighting you too, pass”.

“Ha!”.

“You fool around with those living weeds, I’ll put you in your place eventually”.

“I doubt you care for the blade”.

“I’d rather just play!”.

“If only you were a girl…”.

“Meow”.

Honestly half of the responses, from the ones that even bothered, get drowned out by each other. The strange floating eyeball with skinny ass green arms, sneering, “you should not even exist, abomination”; is hard to miss though.

His dad snarling, “Observant”, and looming down over Danhy, glaring at the eyeball ghost all the while. Ah okay, so this asshole is the, or one of, the ghosts trying to fully off his tiny baby ass. Danhy immediately sticks out his tongue and flips off the ghost with both hands getting in on the action, “well I do, so piss on each others heads or whatever other weird thing y’all are into”. The ghost is very clearly scandalised, actually pulling their head back in offence. Ha! Suck on that. Jerk. Maybe try not being a baby murdering dumbass next time?

ClockWork frowns at the Observant, “you beings should beg for times forgiveness, rather than harassing that which you’ve done wrong by”.

“You’ve made a terrible thing, ClockWork, and with him of all ghosts”, the Observant feels like it’s glaring but who knows with something that doesn’t have freaking eyelids, “as he’s clearly proven himself more a monster that needs to be put down, more than anything else”.

Pariah snarls, “retaliation for harming my young is hardly unbecoming behaviour. You’re the foolish things here, my actions were earned and deserved, and I will tear you lot apart”.

Danhy huffing and kinda sticking his face out at the ghost, banter he could do, banter was his bread and motherfucking butter, “I guess you could say I’m a warning not to step on my parents toes, a terrible threat that’s for sure. I am a threat to you and if you choose to not fear me then you’ll fucking regret. Zone, you already should”, gesturing at the ghost lazily, “I mean, you totally forgot about me, right? but guess who came the fuck back? Bitch. You laid the bricks for me and this new age, dontcha know that when you gamble the house always wins”, and open mouth grins at the ghost. Is Danhy stealing lines from Vlad? Absolutely. Is Danhy trying to sound like he knows what he’s talking about and is more dangerous than he thinks he is? Definitely. Does Danhy want these eyeball assholes to either leave him alone or deeply regret just how much they’ve fucked with him even without him knowing they had? YES. Danhy could do without floating eyeballs making a thing out of trying to assassinate him or something all the time; he got enough of that with Skulker’s poaching/skinning attempts.

And hey! The eyeball ghost does actually float back away from him slightly, leery. ‘Eyeing’ or ‘staring’ at him then ‘glaring’ at Pariah, “your chaos and harm to the realm has weakened our sight”, ‘glaring’ at ClockWork, “we can not see him, correct this immediately”.

But a ghost that looks like a starry blanket with a horned mask laughs softly and meanly, “his so called harm has given us a ghost who sleeps, I see no issue with his actions”.

Pariah glaring down at the Observant, “I’ve done no wrong, you lost any right to watch him long ago. Remember this and begone, I can litter the realm with your bodies if it’s what I want”.

Danhy nodding and smirking at the eyeball thing, “even if all I’ve got is the Dark and Time to fill my heart, you’ll wish I never knew y’all tried to off me. ‘Cause know I sure as shit know it’s better to reign in the dark the serve you lot”.

But the eyeball looks to ClockWork, sounding chastising, “ClockWork, fix. This”. Oh that sounds like an order? Is there like some kind of hierarchy thing with time seers or whatever? But there’s no way in hell that the literal GOD OF TIME isn’t at the top of that right? RIGHT?

Danhy is still convincing himself he’s right as ClockWork leans over Danhy’s shoulder to put their face in the Observants, “you. Do not own me. You have misjudged your own place in the world and this realm, your self inflated sense of self a corruption all its own. There is nothing to correct as it is your actions that would have needed correction had they not already been”.

And then the Observant actually grabs ClockWork’s cloak and pulls them at him. Danhy snarling and ripping the things hand off his pops, “do that again and I’ll fucking break you, use your eyeball shaped dumbass heads as a goddamn soup cup; it’ll be on sight”.

ClockWork narrows their eyes, “do not mistake my calm demeanour for gentleness, time maybe be a slow and forever winding thing but it destroys everything in time”. And then ClockWork smashes the ghost in the chest with their staff, sending them indenting into a gnarled thick tree, “and you’re all out of time”, teleporting over to them and smashing their head into the ground. But with a twist of the staff the Observants back to being imbedded in the tree; ClockWork smashes their head down again. And again. And again. And again.

All the other god ghosts are smiling, smirking, laughing, or jeering; but they don’t get involved. Danny’s guessing there’s some kind of ‘non interference’ rule or some shit.

“Abandon you false rationality”, ClockWork smacks the eyeball in the cheek to the side this time. The Observant floats themselves up right ‘glaring’, “how dare you raise your powers against us”.

But ClockWork simply teleports right in front of the ghost in an instant, their face right in the Observants, “I was always meant to bathe in your hatred, as you were always meant to fall by the way side”. One of their time mirror screen things appearing behind the eyeball ghost, ClockWork seemingly pushing the ghost back through it easily.

? It’s possible to go through those things? That practically screams ‘time travel shenanigans! Do it Danhy!’. Danhy’s going to do something stupid with those things one day and everyone’s going to regret him doing it, mostly him of course ‘cause his luck’s just like that.

More of the time screen things pop up and the Observant just seemingly gets flung from one to another by… other ClockWork’s??? Okay Danhy’s not going to try and make sense of that one, since he’s pretty damn positive these aren’t duplicates. Danhy tilting his head and humming innocently, “watcha doin’?”.

ClockWork humming back, “giving them a taste of times far worse possibilities”.

“Neat. Can you hurl me through time screen thingies? It looks fun, like a really weird amusement park ride”.

The look his pops gives him is very judgemental. But a fishy looking maybe shark with too many legs laughs, poking Danhy with something similar to the trident from the Little Mermaid, “I like this one”. Danhy grins widely back, all teeth.

Another ClockWork drops the Observant at this ClockWork’s ‘feet’, or tail tip really, ClockWork grabbing their cape and hauling them up in the air. The Observant shakes as ClockWork speaks, “run. Away. I’m a fight you can not win. Learn humility, I’m the one who counts time down and on; you are but observers and nothing more”.

Pariah stomping over to loom down over ClockWork and more so the beaten Observant, “and I’m no toy for you. I. Am. Death’s. Bringer. I. Am Life’s. Pariah”.

Pariah simply watching as ClockWork tosses the Observant away, then taping their staff, “time up”, and the ghost seems to rip themselves apart from the inside and outside at the same time; being torn apart into nothing.

Okay. Check on the murdery thing. Danhy did not expect or want to see one of his parents fucking obliterate someone. Damn. Muttering, “I’m so not adding to this murder train”. One of the other god ghosts scoffing, “as if the existence of other beings matter”. Okay is pro-murder just a gods thing in general? Again, is he gonna have to watch himself for murderiness?

Another sneering, “especially the existences of lesser mortal things”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at the multi-winged harpy-looking ghost, “I’m at least somewhat mortal so piss off”; while ClockWork just sort of appears next to him, ruffling his flames.

“I hardly expect you to”.

It’s a little weird when it seems like a lot of the ghosts stiffen when the weird three-eyed cat hops in front of Danhy, even ClockWork feels to be watching them cautiously as the cat slinks around Danhy, purring. “A mIsssssPLAceDthINg, nO MATter wheRE hE beeeeeEeE. PecULiARimpeeEeeeeeerfECt tHIng. yeeeeeEEeeeEeeeEssS”, and hums, eyes squinted before slinking off to nowhere. Like, legit, the cat just pops away in an instant.

The other ghost gods kinda look at him leerily before up and leaving en masse. Leaving Danhy blinking and looking to his pops, “what the fuck?”. Even his dad looks a little bothered and leery.

ClockWork frowns, ominous, “most avoid any who get Remi’s attention, she’s one of the chaos gods. Ancient god of misplacement; while I can bend and pick preferred reality, she’s one who alters it entirely. Her interest in you does make sense so I wouldn’t worry much”.

Pariah crossing his arms a scowling, “not much, but still watch for her. I do not want my son being misplaced again”. Oh yeah dad was always going to be mad about that. ClockWork rolling their wrist, “of course, she may be harder to watch but I see all”.

Danhy grumbling, “well if she ‘misplaces’ all my good spoons I’mma be mad”; that gets him some fond looks at least. He will absolutely be mad though, nothings ever stopped him from throwing hands. and godhood, or whatever, wasn’t going to start stopping him and his hands.

More than a few verifiable gods looked into and chuckled to themselves about the young god and prince. Curious about him and his little domain. This… could be very interesting and many of them were very bored. Course they wouldn’t be too mean, crossing the time god or death lord was hardly a wise choice for any; crossing their ling was likely just as foolish.

Some wishing to make his little domain more proper in their minds. Others wishing to see what his dreams could make. Others wanting to see if he really was a ‘fight first’ type. Others instead noticing those around him, from a wonderfully orange-haired child, to a reincarnated pharaoh unaware of himself, to a gardens caretaker that could be so much more, to another half thing almost as misplaced and far more foolish, to a raged fuel child one day to be so close to being more machine than human.

Oh they weren't going to be bored for the foreseeable future for a very long time.

Whelp, at least all of that was over, now Danhy can just chill in the Keep, lounging over a stupidly massive couch that was mildly swallowing him up. His dad was still going through tablets, and his pops was observing the Observants reactions to Danhy’s existence… and to ClockWork obliterating one of them. Hint: the Observants weren’t happy. Hint: the Observants were fully planing to try and assassinate him again. Hint: Danhy fucking hated them. And so did Pariah. And so did ClockWork.

Well whatever, Danhy’s bored and he’s calling his friends, because he is so telling them this shit.

“Have your parents pissed you off yet?”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at Sam’s tone, “not everyone has parent issues, Sam. And the Fenton’s and me being weird doesn’t count ‘cause they’re not my parents”. Danhy can see dad’s smirk from here.

“So what’s up, Danny man?”.

Danhy shrugs to himself, “eh not much, I just got crowned and shit. Met some gods, meaning I, and Amity, might get harassed by some gods. Pops somewhat randomly murdered one of the gods that went attempted murder happy on baby me after they were being a major dick to us. Got called ‘saviour’ by some very loud yetis, not sure why”.

Pops interrupting him without so much as looking at him, “you’ll find out in a year or so”.

Danhy pouting, “that’s not as comforting as you think, pops”, shaking his head and ignoring his pops smirk, “anyway, I pretty much offered to fight anyone who annoys me, which I guess might not have been the best choice of words”.

Tuck laughs, “man! You like fighting so I’m not even surprised. Definitely dumb though”.

“Ugh, now we’re going to have more newer ghosts, damn it Danny”.

Danhy shrugs to himself, “I make no apologies. Fuck sorry, ‘cause I ain’t”, rubbing his neck, “I just don’t want the regulars, the ones who are halfway decent, to think I’m going to smite them or something”.

Sam snorting, “yeah wouldn’t want your go to misplaced aggression to get cold feet”.

“Sam, we’re dead, our feet are always cold”. Danny snickers to himself over her groan, “anything on your end?”.

Danhy can hear the shrug in Tuck’s voice, “outside of the fact that we’re still miffed we haven’t met your parents yet, come on man, Lancer wants to know if there’s ghost history books he can use for a ‘ghost history’ lesson while Mr. Shanell is stuck in the hospital”.

Danhy lifts his head up and stares at his dad, speaking into the phone, “sorry guys, you know things have been crazy but…”. When Pariah picks up on the staring and raises an eyebrow at his son, Danhy speaks back up, “wanna met my fraid? Like, properly?”, tilting his head back to look at his pops, “you too, Clockpops”.

Pariah eyes his tablet, “this is hardly amusing”, and puts it down; stomping over to Danhy and picking him up by the cape.

Danhy speaking into the phone as he’s lifted through the air, “whelp guess I’m fixing that right now, in coming guys”. They laugh meanly at him as they all hang up.

ClockWork sending away their screens and joining Danhy up on the giants shoulder, “it is rather about time”; Danhy snorts at that. Very funny. Changing back human since anyone seeing Phantom with Danhy ‘Dark’s’ parents was so not a great idea, at least so soon anyway.

…

Tuck shrieks, Sam putting a hand to her chest, when a massive portal pops open right next to them. Pariah, aka the guy who terrified the entire town not too long ago, stomps out; their goofy dumbass friend and another ghost they’ve never seen before on the giant ghosts shoulder.

Danhy basically sliding down his dad’s arm, jumping off at his hand, Pariah looked amused. “Hey guys! Presenting-”, gesturing at his parents, “-parental figures that don’t suck!”. ClockWork floats down and smacks him lightly over the head for that; Danhy pouting at him.

Sam instantly points up at Pariah, stomping forward some herself, “you better not try abducting the town again. Or hurt Danny. Or convince him to commit murder”.

While Tuck laughs to himself, Pariah raises an eyebrow at the goth, “I hardly have any reason to”, scowling, “if my son desires or not to kill then that is his prerogative. I have no interest in restricting him either way”.

Danhy doing jazz hands, “hooray for freedom of choice”, holding up a finger, “I’m not pro-murder though”. Pariah simply shrugs at that.

Tuck elbowing Sam, “ah come on, Sam, live a little. Enslave people! Establish your might!”. Danhy flicks Tuck in the head, “bad, Tuck, bad”.

ClockWork floats around the two teens, “know that we’ve met plenty, you were simply unawares”, holding up a fingers, “just because I left my charge in your and the Fenton’s care, does not mean I left him unattended”.

Tuck blinks, “huh. A ghost has been watching me sleep. Kin-”; ClockWork doesn’t even let Tuck finish before smacking him with the staff too. Tuck covering his head, “hey! Ow! Meanie!”. Sam smacks the part of his head that wasn’t covered for good measure. Tuck pouting at her before sticking a hand out at ClockWork and Pariah, “ow. Anyways, I’m Tucker Foley, that’s TF for Too Fine”.

Sam scowling at the boy, “you disgust me”. Her looking to the ghosts, one hand on her hip and sighing, “and I’m Sam Manson, even if someone already knows everything”. Tuck blinking and facepalming, “right. That”. ClockWork’s faint smirk is mean.

Pariah eyeing Danhy, “a bit foolish, eh?”.

Danhy waving his dad off, “hey, they’re dumbasses, totally different”.

Sam poking Danhy, “as if you’re not also a dumbass, Mr. Breaks You Own Hand With A Locker Door To Get Out Of Gym Class”.

Tuck pointing, “or sets a bathroom on fire for a cover story”.

“Or stores your thermos in your chest just because you can”

“Or fist fought a lamp because you said it looked at you funny”

“Or intentionally buys disgusting milkshakes just to see people’s reactions”.

“Or back flips to transform publicly”.

“Or has a crush on someone definitely trying to kill you”.

Danhy puts up his hands in surrender, “okay okay, I get, geez. No need to run a ‘dumb shit Danhy’s done’ lecture by my folks”. They laugh at him meanly. He loves his friends but they absolutely do know every embarrassing or bad thing he’s ever done; they could go on like this for a while.

Pariah grins wolfishly, putting his hand on Danny’s entire head, “good, a prince is meant for chaos”. Eyeing the two teens, “I doubt I require an introduction, regardless, I am Pariah Dark, overlord of the Infinite Realm, death god, and Danhy’s secondary progenitor”.

ClockWork gesturing to themselves leisurely, “and I his primary. ClockWork, ancient god of time”.

Danhy eyeballing his dad’s hand that’s still on his head, “I have questions about that”. Sure he hadn’t ever directly asked how the zone ghosts had kids, especially with his pops being genderless, but he’d decidedly not asked.

Tuck putting up his hands, “I’m cool with not having those questions answered. Ew”.

Pariah crossing his arms, “I could hardly carry him while dealing with wars and skirmishes. Further, of the two of us, ClockWork is far more durable, immortal as they are”, and gives ClockWork a bit of a fond look.

Danhy makes a face, “well alrighty then”, he is so not pressing for more.

Pariah scowls, “considering their actions, I do regret that ever so slightly”. ClockWork still doesn’t look the least bit apologetic about everything.

Sam points at the large ghost, Danhy gets the feeling that she impressing him at least a little, “well I, we, totally do not regret it”. Tuck punching Danhy in the arm, “yeah, Danny-dude’s great and we like having our friend”.

“Yeah I couldn’t stand your blood mouth crap without him”.

“Oh like your grass mouth is any better”.

“At least I don’t eat dead things!”.

“Well my foods actually worth eating!”.

Then Sam has her boot in hand at record sped, Danhy snagging it while Tuck makes slightly fearful ‘do it Bitch’ motions. Danhy laughing at their antics, ah the comforts of the meat vs veggies argument, “and ecto’s the best of both worlds. Dead but also sometimes never alive or sentient”. They both make faces at him.

His dad has opinions about that while Danhy plays keep away with Sam’s boot, “you eat ghosts? I did not take you for minor cannibalism”.

And Danhy has never thought of it that way, wow. “I mean, I guess? Just like general ecto, you know, not whole ass ghosts flying around”.

Tuck chuckles when Sam tackles Danhy, absolutely getting back her boot. “Oh I’m sure the blob ghosts wouldn’t object”.

“Do not encourage him!”.

Pariah laughs loudly, “I’m sure threats of cannibalism would discourage any uprisings! A unique way to keep the masses in line! Ha! Your own brand of darkness indeed”. ClockWork smirking themselves, “I’m sure the Observants would be horrified”.

Danhy’s opinion on cannibalism do a one eighty right then and there, “in that case, I’m down. Fuck those guys”.

Sam blinks before nodding, “okay even I can’t object to threatening to eat the jerks that tried to murder baby you”.

Tuck humming, “thats more revenge than ‘Danhy’s just a cannibal’ though”, holding up a finger, “and I’m pretty sure ecto-wienies don’t count as just general ecto, man”.

ClockWork’s tone is mean, “they are not, they’re about as sentient as a typical whisp or blob or bleb”, poking Danhy in the check, “cannibalism indeed”.

Danhy play snapping his teeth at the finger, then eyeing them, “which you technically could have stopped but didn’t”; apparently his parents were just cool with Danhy damn near being a legit ghost cannibal.

“I get bored quite easily, why would I stop something with so many interesting kinds of possibilities and outcomes?”, ClockWork waving a hand lazily, “so long as you don’t cannibalise yourself, as you did in one times future”.

Sam and Tuck give Danhy disgusted and horrified looks, “DANNY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!”. At the same time as Danhy mutters, “why would I do that?!?”, him then looking to his friends, “why am I getting in trouble for something that hasn’t actually happen!”.

“Because your pops is a time god!”.

“Because how could you even think about doing that in any timeline! What the Hell!”.

Pariah smacking him chastisingly on the back, which does make him jerk and wobble some, the guys hand was as big as Danhy’s entire body was! And there was the ghost strength at play. “Do not consume yourself”.

“I’m not going to! Oh my zone!”.

When did this meet n’ greet turn into Danhy scolding time?!? Yes he’s done a lot of weird and fucked up and dumb and reckless shit but seriously!

He gets a round of ‘good’s’ and a smirking clockpops in response. Jerks.

And then, bless Danhy’s luck, Vlad shows up. Takes in the three teens and two very powerful ghosts, one being the guy Vlad tried stealing from, and turns to walk away immediately with a, “oh butter biscuits”.

Danhy grinning ferally and basically giving chase, “where you going, Vladdie!? Dontcha wanna meet my real parents!?”.

“I was looking for the one who should be my knight! Not you!”.

“Frighty’s my dog! Get a cat!”.

The two teens and two ghosts watching Danhy ecto-blast Vlad’s shoelaces to nothingness, which of course results in Vlad blasting him into a wall. That of course turns into a transformed Phantom and Plasmius duking it out in the sky, Plasmius looking very miffed about Phantom being able to easily hold his own now.

Pariah letting his son have fun for a bit before snarling, “YOU!”, and launching himself after Plasmius, slamming the startled ghost into a wall with an axe.

ClockWork shaking their head before appearing next to Danhy, poking the boy’s crown, “perhaps you should not have that out while in your mortal lair? No?”.

Danhy blushing, “oh uh, right”, and absorbing the crown into his body. Oops.

“YOU ARE A FOOL WHO SHALL SUFFER! INSOLENT CREATURE!”.

“Aurgh!”.

Sam and Tucker shrug at each other before giving chase as well, weapons drawn and happily shooting at the vampire-themed half ghost.

…

Is anyone surprised when Pariah ends up pinning the ghost? No, of course not. Putting his far larger face looming over the half ghost, “know that it is only by my child’s request that I do not end your puny existence. You are lucky I have no interest in doing away with my son’s plaything”.

Vlad sputtering, “I. Am not. A plaything”.

Danhy pushing his head between them, inches from Vlad’s face and grinning mockingly, “you sure about that one, Vladdie. I’d call this play fighting, and you’re definitely not my friend or family”, then frowning and snarling, letting his green red eyes flash dangerously and with more power than they ever used to hold, “never cross my family again, Vlad”; exerting some of that ecto-pressure on the other halfa that Danhy could do now thanks to being princey.

Vlad chuckles awkwardly and nervously, “message received, Daniel”. Pariah squeezes him tighter with a growl, Vlad squeaking out, “Danhy. I mean, Danhy”.

All of them watching the injured half ghost fly away with his tail between his legs. Danhy is very smug, today has been a very good day. Sam and Tuck give him high fives.

Tuck laughing, “wicked crown, by the way dude”.

“I know! Right! And it somehow doesn’t look weird with the fire hair!”.

“I wish it did, you deserve it”.

“Sam! That’s just mean!”.

“Wait! Do you have ear plugs!?! Wicked!”

All three teens laugh, partly at Danny’s expense but mostly just because they can laugh together.

ClockWork settles on Pariah’s shoulder, humming, “it’s nice, is it not? A good outcome, I would say”.

Pariah almost sighing, “I will still mourn that I could not raise him, though his fraid is acceptable”.

“He remains young, there is still raise yet left to do; and the raising that’s been done is of lesser quality”.

Pariah merely huffs in response.

End.

[bloogers-boogers]

I truly believe Kyle is a chubby chaser, the episode were he supposedly started ‘realizing’ (i still don’t believe he actually liked her like that) his feelings for Heidi she was already gaining weight, a chubby girl.

He’s into smart girls (rebecca) thats for a fact, cute (nichole; she’s smart but she was a new girl when Kyle asked her out so he didn’t know her like that), someone he can protect/help (Leslie) and lastly he’s shown to not care about a girl’s weight unlike *cough cough* Butters im still not over what he said to lisa boi got no filter (atleast he was honest ig)💀

Heidi had all those qualities! (Smart, cute, need protection/help and~ chubby)

You know who’s also smart? Cartman (he can be stupid and very ignorant in many things, but boi got brains when he sets a goal in mind)

Cute? Cartman (As much as we hate to admit it, the boy got that charming look, he literally manipulated chutulu with his ‘cuteness’)

Need of protection/help? Cartman (boy is messed up as it is, It’s obvious he needs help but he also needs someone to guide him in the right path/ be the one to give him that push for change (I’d say a ‘light push', but it’s gonna be a rough ride being fr here), but most importantly also someone he’ll actually listen; Kyle. Believe it or not Cartman does listen to Kyle and he also is the first Cartman looks firstly for reassurance (like in gluten free and in jewpacabra). Cartman never takes Kyle's word for granted.

We’ve seen Kyle protect him from snooki, save his ass by being frozen and drowned. (Kyle has a weak spot every time he sees a vulnerable Eric Cartman).

Chubby? Cartman (we all know he’s from a heavier scale than the rest of the boys but we’re shown Kyle doesn’t seem to care about that superficial stuff)

You cannot tell me most of the kids in that school aren’t shallow they literally have a table that separates the ugly kids from them. But Kyle has been shown to look into more in the depths of a person (getting to know them) things like that than superficial. Like the times the boys were complimenting the girls photoshop pictures and Kyle mentions about Annies eyes being beautiful while the others were talking about their physics.

These are all things Kyle is seen interested in a girl for what I gathered watching the show.

And we return to what i mean when I say Kyle is/possibly could be a chubby chaser. Theirs a trait about kids resembling their parents in some ways

Stan got addiction problems like his dad, he got them image/ego issues too, he actually kinda resembles Randy alot in the deep learning/ post covid episode/specials when it comes to his relationship with Wendy or his pessimistic attitude. I only conclude from this is that Wendy is Stan's 'Sharon' an Stan is Wendy's 'Randy'.

And it confirms for me with the last episode of season 26 when Randy calls Sharon cause he's just a wreck with out her, just like in the post covid special good ending Stan and Wendy meet up and seem to have a sorta thing still going on (she isn't even with that Darwin guy either, atleast he wasn't shown).

He’s very emotional and cares deeply for things that matter to him, he definitely got that from his mother (the school shooting ep we’re shown how emotionally wrecked sharon was bc of it but no one else seemed to care not even Stan himself, and just like with the whales no one else seem to care BUT Stan and that pissed him off)

Also, let's not shrug off the fact that Randy and Sharon marital problems have been a thing since the early seasons. There was points when they divorced/seperated two times (three house, assburgers episode), points were their marriage was on breaking points like with the shakeweight episode or times when we taught it'll be finally over between the two (when Randy was sent to jail) and in post covid good ending he's shown to still be apart of Stan's life and I wouldn't be surprised if both actually kept it together for this exact consistency.

Matt and Trey have a thing to keep adult parings with an interesting dynamics, it isn't all sweet and sugar coated, they tend to show these issues in many other marriages of sp aswell.

Like Kenny's parents (abusive alcoholics/ argue all the time), Butters (closeted man/ sad pyscho wife/ strict parents), Cartman's (single crack whore mom/ deadbeat absent dad (decease now)/ lonely and financially struggling while raising a psycho kid) and even Kyle's (asshole dad/ overbearing mother/ have intimacy issues).

Kenny, he resembles his parents, yes he does. The fact that he likes to get high (frustrated and gets angry/doesn't care, once his already influenced deep in it; cat piss, sexual healing ep) We've seen he's willing to push his friends aside when his already lost into that type of crap or cares little of what his family would go through once he technically kills himself for some 'great' orgasm or being giving a blow job (these are reasons for his curse ofcourse cause he knows he'll come back, but still, his addiction and attitude are still the same throughout the show) and is a porn addict (the magazines, and sexual knowledge he knows for his age).

We've seen these qualities in both his parents.

They don't care being seen drinking or taking crack, like Kenny who doesn't care to be seen by his friends getting high with cat piss. They're very oblivious/don't care about the worries their children go through when they get into it, Kenny doesn't care. I mean c'mon, once he was done with the cat piss he didn't learn his lesson there he straight up went to get high with some flowers infront of his already relieved friends back to square one getting them concerned again.

I suppose we could say he got addiction problems just like Stan, but in a different way. Stan's more of a genetic thing because of his family history/ depression. Kenny on the other side is more of the shitty household he lives in, a copping mechanism.

And Cartman resembles his mom in the artistic side. We're shown that both Liane and Cartman love to sing, Liane also likes to paint. Cartman is more of a photography lover, drawing, singing, song writer, instruments (violin, harmonica) these are all artistic qualities.

Liane is manipulative with the magic of pampering and food. Cartman is manipulative with a sugarcoating voice and has skill on knowing what would get somebody convinced.

And I have a suspicion that Jack Tenorman was some narcissistic lying bastard okay? If he cheated on his wife and was willing to lie about his true identity to his sad desperate son who just wanted to know who his dad was just for a broncos game, then he ain't good.

I'm gonna mention these, just cause these are the few couples I recall being shown in the show.

Tweeks; they're coffee addicts/ seem to be caring and understanding (sorta). (He's very emotional/caring, and a very stressful/nervous kid because of his anxiety/coffee addiction)

Tuckers; they got that same 'I don't give a fuck' attitude literally flipping themselves off at the table. (Craig definitely resembles his dad the most, and in post covid his appearance aswell)

Blacks; they're chill people don't seem to want to get into much trouble. (Tolkien doesn't like to get into conflicts he'd rather chill on the sidelines)

Donovans; dad is passive, while his mother was a little overbearing. (Clyde can be passive/emotional on times but they're times he goes overboard like in the stick of truth game)

Now, with that said, it's Kyle's turn. We've been countless times reminded how Kyle resembles his mother the most. But when it comes to Gerald were only told that he looks like him. Atleast I don't recall anything else.

Kyle's parents are very opened when it comes to talking, experimenting. Have you seen how Sheila always ready to talk to Kyle about things he doesn't know? Or how comfortable she is talking to Gerald freely, that even Gerald had admitted to her that he likes to watch porn on his computer? How Gerald let Sheila have her way with chef (chef aid ep.)

It's shown their relationship is the strongest/ got their shit together among the four main parents. But ofcourse it's not perfect.

Gerald has this fear of pissing off Sheila, and Sheila well, as much as she's a good mother. She's overbearing and can go all crazy.

Qualities Kyle has. He fears his mom's wrath but also is the most similar to her.

He isn't like his dad who's some manipulative asshole behind his wife's back. Kyle's caring and wants what's right but has a temper so he kinda goes overboard and messes up sometimes.

This is were I come to the conclusion, that he may resemble Gerald in the fact that his in love with someone many wouldn't choose.

Like in the ups episode there was a ongoing joke that 'damn someone was willing to do it with Kyle's mom' type of joke.

Kyle's mom is overweight so the joke could be mostly aim from there, but if you think of it clearly. Many are afraid of pissing her off because of her 'bitchy' attitude. And she also has a past of being well, from Jersey.

Now. She's overweight in both that time and now, and I wouldn't be surprised that in the times we're she lived in jersey she was a complete bitch by the picture were shown in a jersey thing episode. She seem disastrous back then.

So meeting Gerald changed her. Gerald fell in love even when she was like that; a 'jersey monster'. They moved to South park and got away from that place, and Sheila has mellowed down from those jersey genes. I have no doubt he probably found that personality hot and thrilling at the time, he probably likes that sorta thing tbh. I feel like Gerald was a dweeb back in those college years, focusing on his carrier and stuff, taking things serious, being very uptight in a sense. Something I feel Sheila would be interested in, someone different, opposite of her. Cause we know she didn’t like that jersey in her but she couldn’t help it and being around other jersey folks just worsen her so it was inevitable for Gerald to stand out from the crowd. He was different. And for Gerald she was different; probably not the type of girl he’d pictured himself being with, yet still did.

(I also hc Sheila not being Jewish she was Christian until she met Gerald and got a wider view/ got closer to the religion falling in love with it.)

Being drawn to each other like opposite magnets.

And well, that redhead with brunette theory going on if u know you know;)

I feel I can resemble this with Kyle and Cartman. Cartman is disastrous, he’s a mess. And somehow Kyle's drawn to it, Cartman is a person not many would choose but I feel Kyle would. He’ll fall in love with both crazy Cartman and redeemed Cartman, cause i genuinely cant see anyone else help Cartman actually change for the better that isn’t Kyle (atleast to get a good ending for all main 4).

Cartman has also been shown to be in a mixture of being confused/ conflicted on what to believe when it comes to religion; switching between Chatolic, Christianity and Judaism it's been like that through the course of the show. Out of the four it's him and Kyle who are only shown to question their religion/ beliefs. It kinda feels like the show is trying to imply something?

And i also don’t picture their relationship to be all cute, it’s a well balanced relationship between healthy and toxic. If that makes sense?

Kinda like Gerald and Sheila’s, they’re not perfect but they balance each other out and yet even with those imperfections they’re still so in love with each other.

They also make a good dynamic.

Qualities i see a kyman relationship being.

Its funny to see Sheila being a bitch just like it’s funny to see Kyle be all pissy. Gerald is an manipulative ass? Guess who’s also a way worse manipulative asshole, yet still funny af and brings humor to the show? Cartman

It's funny to see Gerald be scared shitless of his wife just as funny when we see how scared Cartman is to actually piss Kyle off.

Kyle and Cartman are the perfect mixture of both.

But in personalities; Kyle his mother and Cartman Kyle's dad. Atleast relationship wise and how I feel the pairing dynamics work.

Cartman being Kyle's "Gerald" and Kyle being Cartman's "Sheila".

Technically the main dads (main fours) are the boys insight of what could be of their future partners, atleast that's how I view both Randy and Gerald's similarity on to Stan and Kyle (who are the main boys): both best friends, have a respective partner (Sharon, Sheila) along their side and fathers (Stan and Shelley, Kyle and Ike).

Post covid good ending gave me some more fuel to this about how Kyle only had TWO children; one boy being the eldest and a little sibling while Cartman had three instead of going full on stealing Cartman's past family. Gerald also had two children Kyle was the eldest son a boy and had a little sibling and I have no doubt if Stan were to get with Wendy they'll have two children aswell; their first born being a girl too like Shelley and a little brother like Stan.

Anyways my mind is kinda on a brainrot rn I need help, this ship is gonna end me

I just don’t see a good all flowers and rainbows actual healthy relationship in south park universe. Not only isn’t it realistic but it isn’t the type of dynamic i believe matt and trey would aim for.

If it isn’t either good/ but kinda chaotic sometimes or it’s nothing but down bad toxic/ bland/ has no real attachment to the characters.

Even creek has had their fair share of course they’re not toxic but like in the buda box theres some small ups and downs yk. I feel like some personal space would be the issue here cause Craig seems to not always want to deal with tweek's shit. But yk that’s just Craig not knowing how to establish it. (Yet their relationship has no affect in the course of the show/ main four dynamic)

Stendy relationship has communication issues. (Has no affect in the sidelines)

Clybe relationship has more of a complicated label. Bebe using Clyde for shoes or Clyde being an uncaring asshole using ai for convos. (Has no effect in the show/ main four)

Kennys relationships are only seem to last little but kinda okay until Kenny wants to escalate things further while the girl’s completely oblivious about it. (Has no effect in the sidelines/ use as a joke)

I think butters relationship with Charlotte is fine until Butters misogynistic side comes out. (No affect in the sidelines)

Heiman relationship was a toxic relationship. (Did have an affect on the show/ main four dynamic; Kyle) there was a lot of shifts in Cartman's personality that it was just painful to keep watching for both Heidi and Cartman.

Kyman relationship wouldn’t be just a neat-o relationship, i see it being very flexible in that aspect and I don’t see it changing their dynamic between the two or the main four. Cartman also wouldn’t change for the sake of keeping a relationship he’d actually change for good reasons. Having someone who already knows him wont make him feel like he’s cornered or forced to change/lie about being a good person, but being around a good influence (kinda) in his life could shape him in different ways. Healthy in a sense.

Their relationship could be use in a humorous way and a serious one!