#johnny knoxville x bam margera

[jackassbrainrot]

Inspo from Johnny x bam one (very good btw)

But like… feminized bam

Like turned on embarrassed fem

Anywayssss

dude looks like a girl [knoxville x bam]

desc: Bam finds out first hand that New York City is where your wildest dreams come true

a/n: based very loosely on actual events, when Bam and Knoxville woke up in bed together with makeup on. made it slash again whoops. hope you like it! also the bar is so very imaginary I do not have the slightest clue about bars in NYC. think this is the longest fanwork I've ever written

warnings: smut, dirty talk, feminization, feminine pet names for a man, bam margera's canonically small dick, facefucking, anal sex

This isn't what Bam had expected when Knoxville invited him up to New York for a "fashion party". The night had started normally, though admittedly being more Knox's scene, a million new faces he had to make small talk with, slowly sipping at cocktails that would've been horribly overpriced if the sponsors hadn't taken care of that for them. He was trailing behind his costar like a lost puppy, trying to avoid mind numbing conversations by letting him do the talking, while he busied himself with his fruity little drinks and trying to understand what the fuck they were at a party sponsored by MAC cosmetics.

"Stop following me around like a lost child." Johnny gritted through his teeth, trying to keep his voice low as they walked through the crowd. "Man, I don't know anyone here, what do you expect me to do?" Bam retorted, sounding like a teenager whose parents dragged him to a family reunion he really didn't want to be at. As they were having their little argument, a familiar face emerged from the crowd.

"Finally someone I can stand." The petite woman said, embracing Knoxville before turning to Bam. "And you've brought a new victim to the cruel world of the entertainment industry." She joked, looking him up and down as if she was trying to recognize the much younger man. "Janeane, this is Bam, one of the guys I'm legally allowed to torture on set." The woman, Janeane, laughed, extending her hand to shake Bam's. "I'm Janeane Garofalo, and I'm whatever you two are." She explained her profession in such a roundabout way that the young man didn't quite understand, but he took her hand in his anyway. "I'm a skateboarder actually." He corrected Johnny's earlier statement, though it wasn't exactly wrong.

"Alright, now that we've got that out of the way, you two wanna get outta here with me?" Her question made Bam perk up instantly, which she noticed but waited expectantly for Johnny's answer. "I think I'm gonna stay for a bit longer, but you can babysit him for a while if you want." He half joked, wanting to get Bam off his back. "We'll be at Velvet on 27th!" Janeane yelled back at Knoxville as she dragged Bam toward the door. She told him the plan for the night as he lead her to his car, driving to her place so she could change before heading to Velvet.

When they arrived at her flat, she dumped her bag on the table, a myriad of makeup products fell from it. "What? It's not like they're going to miss it." She said when she saw Bam's eyes widen. "I'm not judging you, I just didn't expect it like, at all." He laughed, sitting down on his couch as she went into her room to change. "Help yourself, if you want." He heard her yell from her room, trying to resist the urge to do just that. He felt weirdly drawn to the pile, despite never really being interested in makeup aside from copying Ville Valo's eyeliner on rare occasions. Janeane walked out of her room, dressed in a less "industry party" outfit than before, sporting jeans and a tank top, her makeup reminiscent of grunge movement of the past decade.

"Wait, I've got a genius idea!" She exclaimed when she saw his gaze was locked on the makeup. "Can I do your makeup?" She asked eagerly, looking like she was going to burst out of her skin at any moment. "You sure I'm not gon' get beat up or some shit?" Bam asked, apprehensive but not fully opposed to the idea. "You'll be just fine at Velvet, I promise." She stuck out her pinky finger to him, which he mirrored, rolling his eyes but a smile crept on his lips.

Janeane got to work right away, pulling a chair out for him and collecting all the supplies she would be needing. Black eyeshadow, an eyeliner pencil, mascara, and a dark red lipstick she shoved into her pocket for later. She tightlined his waterline with the eyeliner the best she could with his whining and twitching. "I feel like you're trying to kill me." He said when he felt the pen poke his inner eye corner as she connected the top and bottom waterline at a point. "Stop being such a baby." She smiled, putting down the pencil and going for the eyeshadow to smoke it out a bit. "Blink." She said as she brought the mascara wand to his eyes, finishing the look.

As she finally moved away, Janeane admired her work. Bam looked absolutely showstopping, the dark makeup around his eyes making them look even brighter than usual, the icy blues looked like they could cool down the sun. "I think Knoxville's gonna fall straight on his ass when he sees you." She said, handing him a mirror to look at himself. He sat there for a moment, stunned, a "holy shit" leaving his lips as he moved the mirror around to look at himself from every angle. "Stop staring at yourself, let's go!" She pulled him up from his seat, dragging him out of her apartment and all the way to the bar.

Velvet was what Bam would call a haggard looking bar. The walls were lined with posters that were falling apart due to age, the leather upholstery was scratched and half of it was covered in permanent stains and the smell of smoke was burned into the walls forever. But despite all of that, he was enjoying himself, sitting in a booth with Janeane, talking on and on about anything and everything they could think of. Bam saw Janeane's face light up suddenly, waving someone, who he assumed was Johnny, over to their booth.

When he sat down next to Bam, his eyes widened under his shades as he noticed the makeup, heat going down to his crotch at seeing the skateboarder look so pretty. Janeane shot Bam a knowing glance before they all went on with their conversation. "I see you two had fun without me." Knoxville said, alluding to the sight that was making it hard for him to think straight. "You wouldn't believe it, man." Bam commented, smiling at Janeane before taking a sip of the beer in front of him. The conversation continued normally, apart from the fact that Knoxville was obviously stealing glances at the younger man behind his shades.

After a few rounds, Johnny was at the end of his rope, mind fogged with images of Bam under him, his eyeliner messed up from crying and his soft lips hanging open as moans fall from his mouth. "I think we should get going." He said, patting Bam's thigh, higher than would be considered normal, hoping he would get the hint. "Man, I can't drive home like this!" Bam whined, and the older man couldn't figure out if he was playing along or didn't catch his hint. "You can sleep in my hotel room, c'mon." He said, pulling a still whining Bam onto his feet. He hugged Janeane, saying their goodbyes, before she slipped the lipstick she'd been hiding in her pocket into his palm and winking, as she stepped away from him to hug Bam, whispering a chuckled "have fun" into his ear.

Johnny guided him to the door with a hand on his back, trying to hurry them along to the hotel. He hailed a cab, both of them sitting in the back seat, his hand resting on Bam's thigh as he whispered into his ear. "You have no idea what you're doing to me, darling." The low growl of his voice made the younger man shiver, blood rushing. "Tell me then." He kept his smug demeanor even though his breathing was uneven and he could feel blood rushing to his crotch. "I think pretty girls like you ought to be fucked real nice." Johnny let his accent slip, knowing it tends to have a positive effect when he's trying to get into someone's pants. Bam almost moaned at the words, surprising himself by being so turned on from being called such a feminine pet name. "You like it when I call you pretty, huh princess?"

Just as those words left his dirty, albeit gorgeous, mouth, the cab stopped and Bam scrambled out of the car, too embarrassed of his own reaction to let Johnny see it. The older man paid the driver and walked into the hotel as Bam trailed behind him. As they walked into the elevator, he felt himself being pushed against the side of it by the taller man. He leant down to whisper in his ear once again. "Don't think I didn't see you blushin' when I called you princess." He stood up straight as the elevator door opened, walking out of it and toward his room as if he didn't just cause all of Bam's blood to leave his brain and go to his dick.

Johnny enjoyed watching the usually coordinated pro skateboarder trip over his feet to get into his room as quickly as humanly possible. He slammed the door behind him before walking over to Bam who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. "What is it, dalin', cat got your tongue?" He loomed over him, his tone mocking, moving a piece of hair from the boy's eyes before kissing him suddenly, making him whimper and melt into the kiss. Knoxville led the kiss, one of his hands in Bam's hair and the other on his hip as the other man clutched desperately at the hem of his shirt.

Pulling away from the kiss, the older man looked down at Bam with lustfilled eyes, his lips forming an evil smirk. "Do you want to be good for me, Bam Bam?" He watched him nod frantically, his usual cockiness gone. "Then be a good girl and get on your knees for me" Johnny sat down on the bed, watching Bam fall to his knees in front of him, eyes never leaving his. He pulled the lipstick Janeane gave him out of his pocket, uncapping it and admiring the color, a deep burgundy. He took Bam's chin in his hand, tilting it up so he could get the perfect angle, the younger man opening his mouth slightly to make the application easier. "Don't you look absolutely delicious." He swiped a finger over the kneeling man's bottom lip before putting the lipstick away.

"Would be a shame to ruin such pretty makeup, wouldn't it?" Bam only nodded in response, eyes glazed over with lust, not registering that the question was rhetorical. Knoxville loved watching him nod brainlessly to his words, knowing that he could get him to agree to anything his heart desired at this point. He unbuckled his belt, those beautiful blue eyes following his every move as he pulled his dick out. "So you gotta be really careful not to make a mess, princess."

Bam opened his mouth more, letting the older man push his dick into his mouth, leaving a burgundy stain over the entire length of it. Without warning, he started to thrust, hard and fast, making the younger man choke and try to push himself off but Knoxville's hand kept his head down, so he opted for digging his short black nails into his thighs. When he was sufficiently satisfied with the smudged lipstick and the stains that resembled ink covering Bam's face, he pulled him off by his hair, finally letting him breathe again. "My pretty girl." He mumbled as he pulled Bam onto the bed with him.

He pulled the skateboarder into another kiss, this time grabbing his dick through his pants, making him gasp and giving Johnny full access to his mouth. "You really are a girl, huh?" Bam blushed a color that almost matched his lipstick at the older man's cruel words, though he knew he was right. "Let me take care of you, princess." Bam moaned into his mouth, unbuttoning his own jeans and pushing them down to give Knoxville more access. He pushed his hand into his pants, collecting the precum on his fingers. "You're so wet for me." His voice rumbled against Bam's earlobe as the older man's hand traveled lower, circling his entrance before pushing a finger in, the precum being enough to slip it in easily.

Bam's moans filled the room as Knoxville fucked him with his fingers, slowly picking up the pace and filling him up more, until he felt he was ready. He flipped them so the younger man was under him, one leg thrown over his shoulder as he lined himself up, slowly sinking into his costar, moaning in unison. "So tight for me, feel so good, princess." They both lost themselves in the feeling, Bam's nails raking over Knoxville's back, as the older man thrust into him at an unforgiving pace.

The drag of Johnny's dick inside him made the younger man feel like he was on fire, his dick feeling like it was going to burst as soon as someone touches it. Johnny seemed to sense his thoughts, his hand coming down to his dick. He jerked him off with two fingers, furthering his humiliation as he came in seconds, making the older man laugh down at him as he continued to chase his high. "Yeah, that's my good girl, feels so fucking good" He kept rambling as he got closer to his climax, pulling out of Bam to cum on his face and chest.

They both collapsed on the bed, falling asleep in a mess of their fluids instantly, tangled together and half naked, with makeup on. If anyone had found them in the morning like that, it would've been all over the tabloids, but like this, it was only in Big Brother, because Knoxville couldn't resist calling Tremaine in the morning to tell him what state he had woken up in. Bam woke up, demanding that Johnny help him clean himself up and call room service.

"You really are a princess."

[tonymarias]

this is a joke I owe all jackass fanfic writers still writing in 2024 my fucking life

[dramatic-crying]

just hear me out - being a part of jackass and cky in the 2000s <3

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[dangerehrenn]

duddddeeee okay so imagine reader is put in a kinda sexy outfit for a prank and the members are all just flustered as fuck while talking and teasing her

i LOVE this

fem!reader, kinda went off track lol sorryyyy

when you fluster (?) the guys

you’re wearing a nurse outfit you found in your trailer

but the skirt is far too short and the shirt is a tad bit too tight

you know you were put in this outfit to be a ‘distraction’

you don’t mind it though

all eyes are on you and you’re loving it

you’re not sure who’s idea it was, your bet is on spike

regardless of who’s idea it was, it’s getting lots of positive reactions

you casually walk up to the boys who are all sat in an almost circle, talking about stunts they have to do or have done in the past

knoxville is speaking as you walk towards them but he instantly loses his train of thought

not seeing you, bam starts to make fun of johnny for it while taking a sip of his beer

but chokes slightly as he notices you, cheeks going red as you give him a knowing look

“where’s this little get up from?” chris says

“dunno, it was in my trailer with a note saying for me to put it on”

“ok, who’s idea was this?” dave says after looking you up and down, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact

steveo wolf whistles you, telling you to spin

“yeah y/n, spin” wee man says

you do a spin and you hear murmurs of “damn” and “holy shit”

suddenly ehren has to excuse himself, causing the boys to erupt into laughter

“where you going ehren?” bam shouts

“no where!! it- it’s unrelated!”

you take a seat next to preston and ryan

and you fully realise that all your friends have a staring problem

and they all have slight blushes on their faces

it boosts your ego though, so you cant really complain

“you ever find out who left you that outfit? tell me, i wanna thank them personally” knoxville says with a smirk and a laugh

[abellmunsonmovie]

I feel like if Eddie was alive in the late 90s and early 2000s he’d love Jackass. Also like what if Corroded Coffin got famous or whatever and they were a special guest on there?!?!

“Hey my names, Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!” -Eddie before cutting to wee man getting shot out of a canon

[princessthatcantfuckingsleep]

only girl in jackass moodboard♡♡

[dunnswrld]

“dont make a mess sweetheart i gotta stunt in ten minutes.”

is what johnny said to you as he lifted his head from the sweet spot between your thighs, a cocky grin plastered on the fake cowboys face as your juices and his spit dripped down his chin.

“f-fuck off.”

you said breathlessly, johnny only letting out a soft chuckle before he spoke.

“aw dont be so mean.”

is all he said before he connected his lips with your sensitive cilt again. a moan leaving your lips as his mouth returned to the spot you needed him the most.

your fingers were tangled in johnnys brown hair as he ate you like his last meal, the sound of his soft groans could not only be heard but felt against your core; shivers going up your spin as your eyes crossed from the amount of overwhelming pleasure.

everytime johnny was between your thighs it was better then the last if thats even possible. you swear there was no man that enjoyed eating pussy more then your boyfriend did.

johnnys brown eyes looked up at you from between your thighs. his erection only ached more as he saw your reaction to him between your thighs, you looked completely overstimulated with pleasure and he loved it.

this only motivated johnny to push himself deeper between your thighs, his tongue lapping circles around your cilt as lewd slurping noises came from his actions. a high pitched moan leaving your lips as your grip on johnnys hair tightened.

“j-johnny i-im gonna-”

you felt johnnys grip on your hips tighten as he became almost determined to make you cum, and make you cum hard.

you could swear you saw stars as you let out a strain of moans as your hands tried to grab anything they could, a intense wave of pleasure shooting through your body as johnny didnt even care to slow down. he wanted you to be completely worn out from his tongue.

it wasnt until your chest began to rise and fall heavily did johnny stop, slowly kissing his way from between your legs to your cheek. he then gave you a sweet and passionate kiss, he slightly laughed feeling how lazily you kissed back. you were beat.

when johnny pulled away from the kiss you saw his mouth and face that was covered with your cum and his spit. your face couldnt help but turn red at seeing the aftermath of your boyfriend eating you out.

“i said dont make a mess sweetheart.”

johnny softly teased with a shit-eating smirk on his face, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his mouth off.

(coming back from the dead to write the smallest piece of whatever this is cause i had the urge to write maybe if it does good ill write again idk😟)

[lexaknoxville]

ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ - Johnny Knoxville

“𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.” - 𝐍𝐨 𝐃𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭

pairing(s) | Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader

summary | just headcanons on meeting/getting asked out by Knoxville

warnings | cussing, maybe suggestive content? I think that’s about it!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! MASTERLIST!

• I think it was definitely one of those “She fell first, he fell harder” situations

• I want to say you guys met through a mutual friend or maybe you worked on the Jackass Crew

• for now I’m gonna say you worked on the crew

• Naturally you knew who he was, and naturally you were attracted to him (who wouldn’t be)

• It took a chance meeting for him to really notice you tho

• let’s say you got dragged into a stunt, or you were helping him after he got hurt. It was most likely something like that

• after that initial meeting Pj was just like “yep, she’s the one.” and made it his personal mission to get you to himself

• It took the rest of the cast noticing his little crush and bugging him about it for him to actually act on it though

“she’s totally hot man, if you don’t ask her out I will” - steve-o probably

“I can see your boner from here Knoxville” - bam probably

“Little lover boy has a crushhh. Want me to talk to her for you?” - Dunn maybe

• all of the dickhead behavior from his friends finally convinced him to ask you. Now I see this going one of two ways.

1. Him always finding an excuse to come to your office/work station so he can bug you, then eventually work up the courage

2. the cast/crew are at a bar after shooting one day and he’s a little buzzed. He finally grows a pair and comes up to you.

• either way! You’re like “Oh! yes!”

THEN YOU LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

kidding.

• yall went on a cute little date somewhere and he was pleasantly surprising!

• he dropped the whole jackass persona and the sweet southern boy came out

• he was laying the nicknames on thickkkk. His shit definitely had you squirming.

• Baby, Babydoll, Sweetheart, Dollface, Pretty Girl. Those are definitely his favorites! (they’re your favorites too…)

• walked you to your front door after the date, AND snuck a little kiss in. He was kinda flustered so after the kiss he was like “I had fun doll, see you at work!” and scurried off to his car LMAO

•. You were FREAKING OUTTT. like “holy fuck holy fuck he kissed me” but quickly collected yourself and shouted bye back to him

• definitely the kind of asshole to do the whole jump and shout after you got inside. Do yall know what I’m talking about 😭 like the whole “woo hoo!” and celebration dance cause the date went well LMAOOO

• ofc you’re watching from your window, it wasn’t embarrassing though because it’s him, it was more endearing than anything.

OKOK THATS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW IM SORRY! SEND REQUESTS 😚

[jackassbrainrot]

hot mess [knoxville x bam]

desc: The jackass guys are out partying and Knoxville can't take his eyes off Bam. Bam is determined to prove he's not a kid anymore.

a/n: loosely based on the song hot mess by cobra starship, not proofread and written in the middle of the night per usual, probably gonna rework this one

warnings: smut, oral, drinking, knoxville is mean ig

Knoxville was sitting at the bar, half listening to whatever Dunn and Pontius were talking about next to him, sipping on his overpriced beer. His eyes were fixed on the dancefloor, or well, one specific person.

Bam had just turned 21 and was making the most of it. His moves were sloppy, his eyeliner smudged, his hands on the hips of a girl whose name he didn't care to remember. He was on top of the world.

Knoxville doesn't know how long he'd been staring at his co-star before their eyes locked. Bam looked confused for a second, before his expression morphed into a smug smirk. 'Arrogant brat,' Knoxville thought to himself, downing the rest of his beer.

The skateboarder stumbled towards the bar, leaning against it right next to Knoxville. "Gonna buy me a drink?" the young man slurred, that obnoxiously charming smile still painting his lightly reddened face. "Sure thing, sweetheart." That southern drawl and the pet name made Bam shiver, his confidence waning for a brief moment.

Bam didn't know what he was doing, the alcohol in his system clearly taking over. Sure, he found Knoxville attractive, and yeah, maybe the way Johnny looked at him like a predator watching his prey turned him on and-

His train of thought was cut off when the older man handed him his drink. He downed it in one swig, face scrunching up from the bitter taste. Knoxville watched him with amusement, a hint of something else sparkling in those big brown eyes of his. Bam came up with the best plan his drunk mind could conjure. "Think I'm gonna puke." He said, standing up and pulling Johnny towards the bathroom with him.

As soon as the bathroom door shut, Bam caged the bigger man against it, his hot breath against Johnny's ear. "Y'know, I felt you starin' the whole time. What, you jealous?" Knoxville laughed then, both at the position they were in and the drunk man's question. "She's not really my type." He leaned against the door nonchalantly, staring down at his costar.

"But I am." Bam said playfully, looking up at the older man with those big doe eyes no one seemed to be able to resist. Johnny laughed again. "You're so self absorbed, kid." The skateboarder's expression changed, his ego bruised.

"I'm not a kid."

"Prove it then."

Bam didn't like being underestimated and he for sure wasn't letting Johnny goddamn Knoxville patronize him. He was determined to prove the older man wrong.

What Johnny didn't expect was for Bam to fall to his knees in front of him, haphazardly unbuckling his belt and pulling his half hard cock out of his pants. "Not your type at all, huh?" The younger man snickered before wrapping his hand around the shaft and pumping slowly. Knoxville groaned at the contact, which only spurred the younger man on. Bam started slowly licking and kissing every part of Johnny's dick, taking his sweet time. "Quit bein' a tease." Knoxville gritted through his teeth. Bam hummed, so satisfied with himself as he slowly took his friend's cock all the way down his throat.

Knoxville couldn't help but moan at the scene playing out in front of him. Bam's red and swollen lips wrapped so perfectly around him, hair sticking to his forehead from sweat and those damn blue eyes staring right up at him. "Look like a girl with your makeup messed up like that." Knoxville teased, not expecting Bam to moan and pick up the pace at the comment.

Taking a handful of Bam's hair, the older man began fucking the younger man's mouth with little care for his comfort. "Gonna cum in that smart mouth of yours, brat." Bam felt a blush creep up his body at the crude words, moaning as he felt Knoxville's cum spilling down his throat.

Bam pulled off Knoxville's cock with a pop, breathing heavily. Knoxville tucked himself back into his pants, looking down at the man kneeling in front of him before his eyes stopped at his crotch. "Did you seriously cum in your pants from sucking me off?" A cruel smile spreading across his face as he watched the younger man take in what he said.

"See, just a kid."

And with that, he left Bam still kneeling on the dirty floor, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting more.

[indicafaeries]

would you guys support me if i started writing jackass fanfic be honest😭

[mcgpoy]

pov: you work for jackass production. you've been on the road for weeks on test shoots. the more time you spend with ryan, the more whatever it was between you and ryan flares up. when you're next to each other, you can't stop laughing. when you're in different cars, you put your headphones on and think about him as you look out the window. the boys tease you whenever they catch you smile to yourself. you pull yourself together and flip them off but you don't know how long you can deny that you've started something you never want to end.

[berzahoes]

headcanons: female jackass member

an: just some headcanons that i’ve been thinking about lately lol

I love johnny’s shirts but you would have an even better wardrobe

basically this:

you’re not afraid to kick all of the guys’ dick when they’re being assholes or just annoying

you love hanging out with johnny’s daughter if she’s on set (she’s not on set often but when she is you’re literally best friends)

you’ve probably broken an arm and a leg at the same time

you know practically everyone had beef with each other in the early 2000s?? NOT YOU or if you do want to have the whole hollywood experience then you do you <3

you definitely made some appearances on viva la bam

chris + you = besties THAT IS ALL I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH CHRIS

you cannot go a full five minutes without cursing (me, it’s literally my vocabulary)

you know how when dave england gets drunk he’s like the worst?? you’re not that bad but when drunk dave is doing stupid shit drunk you is hyping him up

you’re always gaslighting the guys

you would shoot someone with the paintball gun (probably johnny or bam) and they would be on the ground in pain and jeff would just ask “what happened?”

you, casually with a paintball gun in your hand, shrug

“SHE SHOT ME”

“that never happened”

ok but i also love that the only female jackass member would have an obsession with dyeing her hair idk why

nvm i do bc imagine being on edge at work all day bc you think the guys are going to prank you

stress = hair dye i don’t make the rules

SPLIT HAIR OR IDK THE PROPER TERM BUT YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN

omg narcissa malfoy hair yeah <3

ok that’s all i got nothing else 😭😭

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

The Jackass Guys Taking Care of You while you’re Sick HCs!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of illness, pet names (ie. darlin’), alcohol

An: While writing this, I was actually bed bound for two days to to a nasty respiratory illness, so I think you could guess where my inspiration came from XD Ironically enough, in between writing this and coming out I got sick again. Boy, what an immune system I have! I get sick frequently and one thing I can always count on making me feel better is writing about the guys :)

You had no appetite, you could barely leave your bed, and you had a temperature of 101.9. Yep, with how sick you were, there was no way you’d be able to go to work.

So you called your boyfriend to help take care of you

Johnny

“Oh, darlin’…”

You were in sore shape, and like the amazing boyfriend he was, Johnny went to helping you feel better right away!

Really, he missed his calling as a doctor or nurse with how sweet and considerate he is to you

Helping you out of bed if you’re weak on your feet and to the shower, assuring you how much better you’ll feel after you get a lil’ steam in your system <3

And after you get out, he’d sit behind you and gently comb/brush our hair for you, no matter how many times you mumbled to him that yes, you were sick, but you could take care of your basic needs yourself

But you secretly enjoyed being babied by him

If you couldn’t stomach much, he’d bring you some warm tea and fruit with a kiss on the forehead before he went to set up the humidifier

When Robitussin and NyQuill weren’t making a dent in your fever, Johnny got a little creative,

“If it doesn’t make you better, you’ll forget you were sick in the first place!” He explained, handing you the mug of hot water, lemon, and a splash of bourbon

A hot toddy, he told you it was called, something his mama used to give him when he was sick at home

And that thing worked.

Your eyes were falling close as you murmured, half asleep already,

“Thank you, Dr. Knoxville…”

Bam

“You look like shit.”

Lack of bedside manner aside, he is probably the last person you want taking care of you while you’re sick.

“Well thanks, Bam- I feel like shit.”

Feeling a little bad for you he asked if you needed anything

So you asked for something to eat- maybe soup and warm tea?

But all you received was an uncrustqble (which you bought because bam doesn’t like the crusts on his sandwiches) and a bottle of water lobbed onto your bed from the doorway.

“D’you think you could grab me some tissues too?”

With a groan, Bam disappeared into the bathroom before you heard all this thudding and an exasperated, “Fuck!”

Before he emerged with a roll of toilet paper.

Sure, maybe he wasn’t Florence Nightingale, but he did what you asked and you honestly didn’t even expect this much from him

He mumbled, disticnt affectionate tone in his voice as a smile crept onto his face as he walked by your bedside to ruffle your hair a little,

“You’re a real pain in the ass, Y/N.”

Chris

“Time for your sponge bath!”

Chris is a firm believer in the fact that laughter is the best medicine

So that’s why he walked into your room wearing one of those sexy nurse outfits.

And while you appreciated the sentiment, you didn’t really need the sponge bath

You also didn’t need the rectal thermometer he proudly offered to you,

“Time to take your temperature! Roll over!” He chuckled that sweet stoner laugh of his, “Kidding, kidding- it’s one’a the normal ones.”

Or when Chris pretended to “accidentally” drop said thermometer next to your bed and bend over to pick it up with his ass in full veiw.

Soon, you began to recognize the click clack of cherry red high heels as the sounds of Nurse Pontius,

And you’d come to anticipate his spectacular bedside manner ;)

In fact, this whole ordeal just left you more endeared to him

Yes, even when he asked to warm your boobies up because in his words, they looked really cold.

“You know, your probably the best nurse I’ve ever had.”

Steve-O

“What’s goin’ on?”

He stumbled into your room, having kind of forgotten why you called him,

Steve isn’t so much of a caregiver as he is a heating pad

But damn it if he isn’t a good heating pad

He’d just walk into the room and lay down next to you, all warm and cozy- a heaven for your shivering, sick body

Despite how nice it felt to cling to him, he isn’t much help besides that given the fact he fell asleep five minutes ago (not that you noticed)

“Hey, do you think you could grab me some-“ Yep. Out cold

So you had to tear yourself from the comfort of your bed to make yourself soup

And when you return, all shivering as you slip back under the covers,

Of course that’s when he wakes up.

You had already started eating when Steve took the bowl from where it was resting on your lap to steal a few bites himself

When you pointed out that he just used the same spoon you did (and would probably get sick too), he just shrugged,

“So what? I don’t care.”

Ryan

“Are you dead yet?”

While there was an unmistakeable tone of sarcasm in Ryan’s voice, he really was concerned

Out of all the guys, he would be the one to get worried sick (no pun intended) about his ill girlfriend :(

But he played it off well, saying that he didn’t have anything to do that weekend despite canceling plans with Bam to look over you

So he might as well sit by your bedside to make sure you’re okay!

Or that he just conveniently rented all of your favorite movies because he wanted to watch them, but you’re free to join him if you wanna watch

And, despite your warnings that you’ll get him sick, he’d have no problem with laying down next to you if you can’t sleep

Because that’s what the two of you usually do! No reason to break routine because of a stupid cold.

“C’mon! With you shiverin’ like that, how could I not? It’s like seein’ a kitten out in the rain…”

[johnnyknoxvilleswife]

Why can’t it be 2004? Why can’t I hangout (make out) with all my baby girls (middle-aged men , who make poor decisions, covered in blood)?

[dangerehrenn]

I hope ur good and love your writing it's so good :)

quick question tho, how do you think the boys would react to pierced nipples on their partner????

ohhh they would go crazy

the boys finding out you have nipple piercings

in this: johnny, chris, bam

suggestive content

im gonna do this with the same scenario, and different reactions

it’s a regular day, filming new overly dangerous content with the guys, and someone has the genius idea for you to do a stunt into the water.

(like steveos stunt where he vaulted into the water from the bridge or whatever it was lol).

your boyfriend has been given the task of explaining the stunt to you, and as he’s explaining, you take your hoodie off in preparation. only to realise, shit. your shirt came off with your hoodie.

as your relationship with your boyfriend is relatively new, he had no idea you had nipple piercings…

well. he does now.

johnny:

he immediately stumbles over his words as you slowly realise you’ve just flashed your boyfriend

he clears his throat, then that signature knoxville smirk covers his face

“well. i didn’t know about those” he says cheekily, pointing at your nipple piercings that youre desperately trying to cover up

he’ll tell you to move your hands so he can get a better look

which earns him a slap on the arm for being so cheeky

“i like em baby. why cover them up?” he says, chuckling

he tries to steal a few more glances, then he’ll kiss you and carry on explaining the stunt to you

for the rest of the shoot, he seems very distracted, always lost in his thoughts

you catch his eye as he smirks to himself, and he blushes slightly before smiling again.

you know exactly what he was thinking about

chris:

oh boy

now he’s had a glimpse of them, he has to see them again

now, he’s a gentleman

so he’ll help you cover up

but he quickly ushers you away from everyone else and somewhere private

“since when?” he says, giggling

you play dumb, asking him what he’s talking about

which prompts him to pretend to grab his own boobs

“your piercings, babe” he says, smirking

he asks you the regular questions, did it hurt, is it sensitive, what happens if someone has a magnet

all that stuff

for the rest of the day, he’s distracted - staring constantly

“babe, do you think i’d suit them?”

bam:

he’s a little shit

so he steals your shirt and hoodie

“move your hands and i’ll give you your shirt back” he says, smirking

if you’re adamant you’re not gonna show him, he gives you your shirt back with a sheepish apology

he disappears for a minute, then comes back in time to see you do the stunt (take what you want from this ;) )

he drops the subject for the rest of the shoot, but you can tell he’s thinking about them

afterwards when you’re relaxing, you can tell he’s still thinking about them

so flash the man and let him be happy

“jesus christ are you tryin’ to kill me?” he smirks

or just tell him he can ask the questions he has

he’s like chris, asking the usual questions

and of course

“can i touch them?” he asks with his cheeky smile